Thematic Dream Journal

[poème]

This also picks up on some more archetypal dream symbols as well. Plants very often represent growth.

Hello! Thanks for your insightful comments. I appreciate that you point me out other ways to interpret my dreams and how to deepen my analysis. Also, I do agree that plants often represent growth. However, in this specific case only, although I am aware that I may be wrong, I am not so sure that the plants were about my overall growth, or actually they were, yes, but at a smaller scale, since I really was focused on my belief system at the time.

Before I had this dream, I had started reading the first chapters of one of the Seth book which are about limitative personal beliefs, hence why it brought back this analogy I thought of earlier and why I came to associate again, temporarily, beliefs to plants. This had me wondering if I held such limitative beliefs/concepts that I should dispose of (dead plants that should be replaced?) and overall, in which condition was my belief system. I also wondered if I had beliefs that were too narrow and would need to be enriched (or watered as in the analogy) with more information and other points of views.

That being said, at a larger scale, I certainly have some unfinished business and I certainly need to pay more attention to some growth areas I may have walked away from or temporary put on the shelves. I will also think over this since I am sure there is a lot of work to do in these areas as well… Then who knows, maybe I’ll dream of an orchard and of a tree caretaker who’ll come to tell me how to take better care of my trees…

I know what you mean when you talk about the personal dream language, or rather a dream language based on what's on your mind at the moment.

I like this way of wording it. That’s actually more like it...

When I wrote the dream to Kurt he told me (he's a composer by profession) that both chords were minor chords and that these indicated that issues might be rather minor. The answer had been coded in a language related to the problem I was thinking about - in the language of music.

A beautiful language…
…And a quite inventive way to get the message across!

[poème]

I know… This is a truly long post, but I never had such an eventful night before and I simply couldn’t stop writing… Well, I hope you’ll have a good time reading it… As much as I had a good time writing it! And as usual, comments are welcome, if you have any

April 6, 2011
First outing
I A «weight» on my back
It is around 1:30am and I am still awake. I may be too energized, and my mind is an incessant chatterbox, which doesn’t help! I try to calm down, eyes closed, in order to force sleep, and I try to lay on both sides, as well as on the back, to end on my stomach… And this is when an odd sensation occurs: I feel a weight on my back, as if there was another body on me. The thought that it might be my own energy body doesn’t even cross my mind. (This is very funny since I got caught at this game every time something alike happened to me up till now!) I don’t feel threatened in any way though and I move slightly on my side with the intent to «throw the weight over the bed», but by doing so, I also end up rolling over the bed. I laugh lightly.
II Split memories..?
Lucidity is rather low and I don’t remember much of this outing. My memories of it are incredibly confused. I vaguely remember talking to someone (aren’t I chatty!) but at the same time I remember being in bed, eyes closed, waiting for Morpheus to come. (Split memory perhaps?) I remember saying something like «If I can be of any help, I would like to give a hand…» That being said, I start feeling some light sensations and I feel a sort of void beneath «my body» and as this is happening, I’m thinking that I may be in the process of exiting my body, and I think to myself that it’s been a while since I last «projected» and I am happy about this happening… But this is when I realize that actually, I just came back(!). I now realize I am in my physical body, eyes closed. All I have to do is to open them… I do so. It is around 2am.

Second outing
I An upward «movement»
I lay on my back and try again my luck at falling asleep, eyes closed. After some time, I start feeling light sensations shortly followed by an upward movement. I keep «my eyes closed» as long as the movement sensation lasts and when it feels «stable», I «open» them. I am floating over the bed, a dream bed I think, since I am not in my current bedroom. The bed is in what I identify as my current living room, although again, it doesn’t look exactly like it, and well… There is no bed in my living room! The configuration is similar, but the furniture is not there. It is slightly dark, as dark as it should be at this time of the night.
II Someone…
There is someone on the side of the bed, who seems to be gently trying to make me re-enter my body. I ask him if I am out. He says yes, but he seems to think that I shouldn’t be out. I resist, and tell him that I want to go out, I want to explore! I ask him to come with me, to explore with me. He let me go then, but I don’t exactly go very far… And I only end up «exploring» the apartment. I look through the patio door, and I see a full moon. I tell my «co-explorer» that this is strange, since I remember seeing only a quarter earlier that night, before bedtime. He says something like «It’s always a full moon.» Why would he say that, I still have no clue! We sit on the bed, and we read together a long scientific article, in French as well as in English, and I think we compare both versions.

I don’t remember how I re-entered my body, perhaps this faded into a dream, and I woke up again between 2:30 and 3am. (Forgot to check at the moment I woke up) I then take some time to write down what I remember from both this experience and the first one.

Third outing – A guided tour!
I Exit
After some time spent quietly in bed, I start feeling an odd sensation. I lack the vocabulary to describe this but I’ll give it a try: it feels as if the chest area is «opening» or «splitting» (?). I take a deep breath and I feel it «opening» more. I then wait for something else to happen, perhaps some kind of movement that would bring me out without any effort on my part (!). But this time, nothing more happens. I realize I will have to exit on my own… I try to put pressure on the energy body to make it exit, but I realize that I have no clue how this is done. Besides, nothing happens. I try affirmations, but again, no luck. I also try to visualise myself in the living room, Ã♥ la Buhlman, but this doesn’t do the trick either. «Alright then, I think, let’s do like so many do: roll over! « I do so, and I end up on the floor. «That’s it? « I then think, wondering if I’m really out or if I rolled off my bed in the physical (!). Instinctively, I walk toward the door…
II A dramatic change of scene
…And I walk a little in the corridor, when suddenly, as if someone had turn on the lights in a somewhat dark room, I find myself in the middle of a completely different room, and a bright one at that! I look on my left and I see someone standing there, at a distance, turning his head towards me…Oddly enough, he is completely naked! I’m quite surprised but I seem to know him and I try to tell him something, but my voice doesn’t respond. I am shocked and highly disappointed that I can’t even speak, plus I feel disoriented. I make a gesture to make him understand that I can’t seem to be able to say a thing and that I’m sorry about that. He comes nearby and simply tells me his name, then I try again to say something, and some sounds finally come out, though I can barely make myself understood at first, but it seems to adjust little by little until I can finally speak normally, which feels much better.
III An office setting
I realize we are in an office building, a very busy one, full of men and women in business suits. I follow him around, and I start seriously wondering why he is walking all naked as if it was perfectly normal… Everyone else is dressed up! But besides me, nobody else seems to find this inappropriate… (I have actually thought about this and I now realize that there was a purpose to this; it was meant to teach me something, - more on this next time, maybe - and once he had made his point, he appeared with clothes on.)

We walk together around the office building, which is quite big. The atmosphere is very positive, although everyone looks so busy. I am amazed by everything I see, like some curious and overjoyed child… I ask tons of questions I never thought I would have the nerves to ask and I am quite surprised that he does take the time to answer…sometimes. (I am not surprised, however, that I couldn’t recall most of this when I woke up, although I could recall that I felt so daring to ask some of these questions!) Among other things, I ask what is that office building for? What are these people all working on? He gives me a one-word answer that I don’t fully understand. I think I heard a word in English, but this word doesn’t make much sense to me in this context. I repeat the word in French, to be sure I understood, but I get no answer. He is not that much of a talkative guy, indeed, but I feel ok with that and I am actually quite comfortable in his company I then think that maybe he didn’t understand so I ask him if he speaks English or French. He tells me «both» in English, and I feel silly for I know that there are no such language barriers at a spiritual level.
IV The end of the tour
At some point, I think another guide replaced the first one, for his appearance and personality changed drastically. The first one was thin and shorter, with dark hair. I was now with a tall and heavy-set guy with short blond hair and beard. He was very talkative and open and he spoke mainly English to me, while the other guide pronounced his name Ã♥ la française when he introduced himself. He happily tells me whose idea it was to bring me here, and he mentions another person’s name to whom he spoke about this and who said something like « Ok, but she’s not much around.» I am not exactly sure what he is referring to, but I reply «No, I’m not», thinking that he may either mean that I don’t project (or sleep!) much or that I don’t have access to this plane (or this place) much.

We are now outside of the building, at the entrance. It looks somewhat darker down here, as if dusk had fallen. I ask him «What was that place, again?» thinking loudly that I will certainly write this on the forum! At this point, I kind of doubt that he will provide me any answer but he does: it sounds like «Danemozy» or «Danimozy». (I have no clue how this is supposed to be spelt tough, and later on, I did a quick search on the Internet and found nothing even close to that word…Perhaps this is why I was told ) «Danemozy?» I then say. «I will never remember this!» I add jokingly, thinking that this is too much of an odd name for me to recall once awaken. I keep walking but I notice that he stays there. It seems like it’s a goodbye. I come back and joyfully say: «No! I will remember this!» and that being said, I realize that I lost contact. Even tough my eyes are still closed, I know that I am back in my body and that I could not return, whether I keep my eyes closed or not. So I open them. It is around 5:30am and as I write this down in my dream journal, I am reminded of how great this whole experience was, and this very memory kept me smiling all day!

[Sinera]

After some time spent quietly in bed, I start feeling an odd sensation. I lack the vocabulary to describe this but I’ll give it a try: it feels as if the chest area is «opening» or «splitting» (?). I take a deep breath and I feel it «opening» more. I then wait for something else to happen, perhaps some kind of movement that would bring me out without any effort on my part (!). But this time, nothing more happens.

Do you do energy work, esp. with primary chakras? It's possible that they make themselves now "known" to you on their own once in a while when in trance states. Chest area is the body central chakra (4th) out of the 7 main chakras.

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

You could actually include one daring question next time you happen to be in similar circumstances: Why do I see you as naked?

Very interesting and detailed experience.

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

Do you do energy work, esp. with primary chakras? It's possible that they make themselves now "known" to you on their own once in a while when in trance states. Chest area is the body central chakra (4th) out of the 7 main chakras.

I do work with the main chakras in meditations, mainly to raise energy... The energy body never ceases to amaze me!

You could actually include one daring question next time you happen to be in similar circumstances: Why do I see you as naked?

This one made me laugh when I read it!
You know, the thought that it could have been my very own translation of his energy didn't even cross my mind! I was so sure that this was the way he decided to show up for some teaching purpose, especially since it does remind me of one of my guide's teaching style...Plus the personality seemed to match! However, that would explain why all the others didn't react: it's possible that they simply didn't see him like I did... Now what does this tell about myself though!

When I think of all that time I spent wondering what was the deeper meaning to this, I find it very funny to think that maybe there was no such deeper meaning!
...Well anyway, all that pondering did make me understand something, weither this was the purpose or not, so it's all good

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

To give you an extreme example: Someone described an experience where he had encountered a female porn star who taught him something. Beekeeper's translation? This is a guide who will "show you all." Interpretations can be like that.

Or an example Kurt posted recently:

“Appearances in Otherwhere are almost always deceiving,� my Guide said. “Let’s start with my own appearance, for example. How do you see me?�

“You look like Jorge Luis Borges,� I replied.

(from: http://www.kurtleland.com/astral-pro...r-mental-plane)

I have seen other instances in Kurt's adventures where people asked "What do I look like to you?" - including his tour of the Christian afterdeath zone in "Otherwhere."

Or this one:

“But tell me, how do you see me? That will give me the best idea of how to respond. How you’ve represented my energy to yourself will let me know which tradition you come from and how I should behave.�

I described the Gatekeeper’s sky-like surroundings, the garden, the Craftsman bungalow, and his own old-soul California looks. Several times he slapped his knee in delight.

(from: http://www.kurtleland.com/astral-pro...ne-causal-body)

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

To give you an extreme example: Someone described an experience where he had encountered a female porn star who taught him something. Beekeeper's translation? This is a guide who will "show you all." Interpretations can be like that.

It does make sense! I realize I was really stuck on my first idea and your intervention really opened my eyes on more possibilities!

It's very likely that I pictured him this way because of how I felt he was at the moment : someone daring, unconventional (we were in a very formal office setting after all) who definitly had nothing to hide.

This also had me wondering about what I thought was a «change of guide». I'm now thinking it's possible that I was with the same one all the way, and that the change of appearance and personality occured because I noticed a change in his energy, or his attitude toward me (which I may have mistaken for a change of personality. This would mean that at some point, I felt he opened up more and was becoming more protective (therefore appearing like a warm, tall and heavy-set man) as we were on our way down (I remember lots of stairs as we were touring around.)

When I think of it, this «other» guide didn't give me his name, while the «first» one did... And the «switch» was too sudden. I didn't really notice when exactly it occured. I actually felt like talking and walking along with one person all the way down, and only at some point did I suddenly notice the change of appearance and attitude (which I apparently translated as a different person). Of course, this doesn't prove anything, but it makes some sense to me at the moment...

By the way, thank you so much for these links... There was so much food for thought for me in these that I kept drifting away from the text, thinking and thinking, to the point that it took me forever to read both of them

This part made me think of something linked to the topic:
«In many adventures in Otherwhere, I’ve encountered beings with amazing powers of mind control over others. The Gatekeeper not only teased me about looking like Rudhyar, but also suppressed my most recent memory of what Rudhyar looked like, so that I would think back to an earlier one I’d forgotten.»

If I understand well, this means that it's possible that my guide also controled, in some way, how I would end up translating his energy at the beginning, perhaps for some teaching purpose... Then again, perhaps not... I guess I will have to follow your advice - and ask that daring question - if this happens again!

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

Now that so many new ideas and questions fizz around in your mind, you might find that some of your inner senses become active or trained for learning the information you want.

Like learning who that guide is and who the other was? Are they the same? This curiosity might prime the process that teaches you how to sense the ident of a being. The ident goes beyond appearances and is for example what Kurt helps to identify Athena even if she comes in another guise. There's often a reason for her appearance having to do with the purpose of an adventure and the learning involved. Inner sense information can come as what you see, what you hear, what you feel and what you know when out-of-body. You learn about everything through your senses, but the inner senses function according to their own rules and the way they render a reality you perceive is different from the way we perceive physical reality.

Mind control is a term denoting a phenomenon with many nuances. If a guide helps you stabilise your consciousness to experience something more clearly or without distraction, that would be mind control. If a certain knowledge or memory is suppressed for the sake of lesson or a simulation, that's also another form of mind control.

The term itself however conjures up images of control to an extent that a guide would never violate. Free will is a complex phenomenon, too, come to think about it. Your various conscious, semi-conscious and unconscious intents and wishes are also expressions of your free will, and are often honored in ways that are not immediately apparent. For example, when a capability you have is suppressed in a simulation it might seem like a violation of your free will, but on the other hand the simulation usually does not appear without some pre-existing intent to learn or achieve something that requires the lesson.

Some experiences are not possible or possible yet without mind control. I had experiences where I was enabled by another conscious entity to even enter the state I was in. I wasn't even consciously aware of the facilitating entity, but there can be quite complex setups to enable some lessons. Sometimes mind control and sharing a mind connection are represented as touch, holding hands, holding someone's hip, standing together on moving platform. It's also always interesting who is with you in or on any vehicle (car, helicopter, bike, etc) and who's actually doing the steering. This portrays relationships between who's helping in the experience or might even play a major role in sustaining it.

So, your lack of recognition might be due to your ability of sensing idents just coming online. The stable picture you get now then would be like "seeing the world with new eyes" - your inner senses now present to you different inputs, and they get rewoven into a new coherent fabric that might seem sometimes quite different than the one you used to perceive.

Mind control is somewhat less likely in this instance, though the recognition of someone has been reported to be suppressed, too. For example Monroe did not recognise his past and future selves in "Far Journeys." This knowledge was suppressed, I'd say. For him his future self was a bright and highly intelligent entity (INSPEC) beyond his comprehension, and his past self a visitor (either AA or BB, I don't recall) to this reality system. Later on, after developing his inner senses and in effect becoming his future self, all these strands of his personal narrative came together and made for a different "big picture" regarding his life and spiritual evolution, which you can read about in "Ultimate Journey."

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

Hello!

Now that so many new ideas and questions fizz around in your mind, you might find that some of your inner senses become active or trained for learning the information you want.

Good news! I sure hope so!

Like learning who that guide is and who the other was? Are they the same? This curiosity might prime the process that teaches you how to sense the ident of a being. The ident goes beyond appearances and is for example what Kurt helps to identify Athena even if she comes in another guise. There's often a reason for her appearance having to do with the purpose of an adventure and the learning involved. Inner sense information can come as what you see, what you hear, what you feel and what you know when out-of-body. You learn about everything through your senses, but the inner senses function according to their own rules and the way they render a reality you perceive is different from the way we perceive physical reality.

I feel this to be true. I may be indeed in the process of learning how to identify better who I encounter and I also feel it as true that some of these senses only recently came online. I think I now know how to distinguish who I can trust from who I can't, who is familiar from who isn't, how to distinguish a being (spirits or guides for instance) showing up in a dream from a self created dream character, and I seem to be able to distinguish general roles, such as teacher, guardian, visitor, etc. However, I am still very confused when it comes to distinguish, lets say, one guide from another one, or to recognize the same one everytime he or she shows up, whatever is the guise. But I think this is coming... Since lately, I think I started recognizing a pattern for at least one of them!

This makes me think, when it comes to inner senses, that what I feel seems to be more developped and reliable than what I see (I probably need to improve this sense better). For instance, in a dream I will feel/think that «this is my bedroom» but I will see completely something else; sometimes it doesn't even look like a bedroom, to the point that if it wasn't from that insight, I would have never been able to tell, by the visuals alone, that this was supposed to be a bedroom. As for what I hear, I seem to forget half of it, so this probably needs improvement also... Unless I can't recall this on purpose, as if some censor is still needed sometimes. In this case, I suppose it might mean that my counscious mind would not be ready to handle such knowledge or that this knowledge was offered to some other aspect of myself, and not to the counscious mind... I am aware that I am entering a field of speculations here, though!

Thanks for all the examples given, from your experience as well as from others... This is all very enlightening and I think I will take some time to revisit parts of my dream journals... Surely, I will be able to deepen my analysis of many dreams by taking all that you said into account.

[poème]

On April 20, I dreamed of a lady who had a short discussion with me. For once, I remembered a good part of the content, although I know I didn’t remember the exact words. This talk we had made me realize that I was in the habit of closing my eyes on too many things about myself and my experiences, as if I did not really want to see what was going on.

Before I had this dream, I had indeed a series of dreams which felt so bizarre to me that I did not dare trying to interpret them thoroughly up till now. Maybe these won’t seem strange at all to many of you, since a lot of people here have gone through quite unusual experiences, but to me, they kind of were, mind you. So, I am writing this down, in an effort to look honestly at myself and to understand what has been going on lately. As usual, comments, hints and insights are welcome!

April 7, 2011 (meditation)
I am lying on my back in my bed, meditating. One of my cats, who had been sleeping quietly on me for some time (so lovely of her: it always makes me smile when she does that J), suddenly jumps away, and this is when I notice something unusual : a strong «fresh/cold feel» seems to cover all my lower abdomen. (It’s likely that my cat went away because it turned too cold.) I wonder what this is, but I don’t worry right away since I often feel «fresh-cold» spots, usually on my forehead, on the right side of my face and body, which was also the case that day. However, I never felt it that intensely, especially not in that area. I start thinking that this may be «kundalini related» and this reminds me of all the stories I read about the topic, and for some reasons, I focus especially on the downside of some of these stories: complete break down, anxiety and panic attacks, phobic episodes and all the years of struggles and pain accompanying this, etc.

So I say (in my mind) to whoever is possibly accompanying me that I never asked for that to happen and that I don’t want to break down now that I’m so stable and happy, that I’d rather be a late bloomer… And I go on and on like that until I suddenly sense a pleasant and familiar scent, which I smell occasionally. I then start breathing in and out more deeply, since I can sense the scent better this way, and as a result, it calms me down. I realize I was kind of freaking out and that surely, there was nothing to fear. I recall how I’ve been shown, more than once, how well my guides (and/or higher self, and/or self aspects) know how to work with me, how they always respected my will, and how incredibly patient and understanding they are. Besides, I have no proof that this is kundalini related…

So I gather my courage and, resume my session, in an effort to confront my fears (and perhaps to prove my trust also). I try to observe the sensations felt rather than jumping to conclusions. I notice that there is something going on in my belly, up to the solar plexus, like involuntary internal movements and something fresh/cold inside «pushing up» too. I’m not really sure I enjoy this much and I remain kind of tensed until I finally get waves, which are more familiar and which I enjoy a lot…

Nothing else happened. Maybe it wasn’t kundalini, after all, I then thought… So this was enough to chase that cloud away for a few days, especially since I was actually on quite a high back then, still so happy about my last outing (on April 6), which is why I was surprised to have a nightmarish dream on April 10, apparently featuring those side-effects I feared so much, fears which I had only buried, and not yet resolved… I won’t go into details and simply say that I felt lost, highly vulnerable, anxious and even quite phobic.

When I woke up, I thought that was quite weird. It was as if my dream self had been completely acting as someone else, not I… I wondered if that was some kind of release dream…or perhaps some kind of warning, and that I’d better get prepared(!) I asked to be told more about this for I really needed to know where this was going and what all this was about… And so, on April 13, I had a very intriguing series of dreams:

April 13, 2011, 2nd dream (morning)
A cobra in a cardboard box
I am in the backseat of a car. Sitting next to me is one of my brothers, and my mother is driving. This may seem odd, but my mother is just not herself and so is my brother. This is not that unusual in my dreams. Of course, many of my dreams are about my relationships with my family members and friends but sometimes, I seem to translate energies that feel «motherly» or «brotherly» or «friendly» by picturing them as persons I know in the waking state, whom I feel as such.
So, all three of us are in a car, and we are having a nice chat about…snakes! (Quite the everyday talk, indeed ). Then, my «mother» stops the car and says she has some shopping to do. She comes back a couple minutes later, and says happily that she has a present for both of us. She gives an open cardboard box to my «brother» and to my surprise (and disgust), there is a cobra inside(!) It is kind of pale, perhaps yellowish, and its large head is raised toward the opening of the box. I tell my «brother» I never liked snakes and beg him to keep that thing as far as possible from me! The snake is not really threatening, and it doesn’t move much but I am somewhat panicking at the thought of being bitten, and I seem to think that this was definitely not my «mother’s» best idea for a gift! (Actually, I think that my dream self was quite brave here, for if this were to happen in the physical, surely I would jump out of the car…or at least, I would close that box rather quickly! )

I wake up and start thinking about that. I come to the conclusion that perhaps this dream was meant to tell me that I have to let go of my fears. That snake wasn’t threatening at all after all. It definitely wasn’t going to bite. I keep wondering, though, if there was more to it than that. I fall asleep again, at around 8- 8:30 in the morning, and things take an unexpected turn (and a quite confusing one as well…)

(More to come…)