PDA

View Full Version : Greetings from Serbia



ivanela
17th May 2010, 08:28 AM
Hello everybody!

First of all, I want to thank Robert and all of you for providing such a valuable sources of knowledge... (that was polite, hm? but it doesn't quite explain the situation)...
To tell the truth, at this moment of my life, you are my Lifeline :)

I am just one of those who felt whole of their life that something is not quite right with the world as it appeared to be. At first, of course, I thought that something is very wrong with me, but at one point I have started to search for answers...At the beginning, it was relief (I am not crazy), than learning was fun, but than things started to happen...

At the beginning of this year I have experienced a very traumatic event in my life and besides feeling "ordinary" level of pain and suffering I also sensed that
something in me has been broken (something that goes beyond "broken hart", emotional hurt, etc.). This triggered some state of being which is best described as dark night of the soul, although I am not 100% sure, it might also be something else (major attack, depression, transformation...?). Since I am in the middle of it, it is not easy to see clearly. But, I am doing the best I can, falling down, than getting up...and many times, I actually do get up thanks to you.
I live a double life. In my everyday existence (in the world I call "a world of appearances") I appear as very self-assured, successful person and I have a good carrier in multinational company. Apart from having a number of cleaver, decent and good people around me, both at work and in my private life, in this quest I am completely alone. I clearly sense that I should not talk about those things with any of them. Although feeling deeply isolated, I know at some level that it is how it should be in this point of space and time.

This post is already too long. As a matter of fact, I just wanted to thank you for being here and sharing your knowledge and experiences.

Challenge
17th May 2010, 10:22 AM
Bok ivanela i dobrodosla na AD forum. :D

It seems a lot of people are feeling at least a bit of despair and loneliness at
this time. A collective dark night of the soul so to speak. I hope you will
find some answers and help here.

Korpo
17th May 2010, 11:29 AM
Hello, ivanela.

Welcome to the site. :)


I live a double life. In my everyday existence (in the world I call "a world of appearances") I appear as very self-assured, successful person and I have a good carrier in multinational company. Apart from having a number of cleaver, decent and good people around me, both at work and in my private life, in this quest I am completely alone.

Very similar situation here. Almost all my spiritual contacts are over the web. This can help, especially if there's no other option available, and it diminishes this feeling of isolation a lot.

This site is one good possibility to build such contacts. I hope you find what you need in this regard.

I'd say it is a big synchronicity that the topic "dark night of the soul" has been creeping up lately. It might just be that currently several people get attracted to this topic to be of assistance to each other. If you want to talk about something or need to express something, feel free to do so, either in public posts or in private messages, whatever feels comfortable.

Take care,
Oliver

ivanela
17th May 2010, 11:45 AM
Dear Korpo,

I have just been reading your post regarding "Inner dissolving" and have decided to try it as soon as I get hit by my own personal (already boring) emotional "bugs" which I was trying to exterminate for some time (had some success, but it is an ongoing process).
Talking about synchronicity!

Ouroboros
17th May 2010, 12:11 PM
Welcome to the forums, Ivanela!

This is definitely a good place to fill that spiritual communion hole that many of us find ourselves with. I also share your situation, not really having anyone in physical proximity that I can really discuss this with (unless I go back to the hypnotherapist, lol).

I'm just starting to come out of my own dark night of the soul, so I can certainly relate! I hope you find what you need here. :)

Korpo
17th May 2010, 12:21 PM
[EDIT: put in the right quote, hope it makes more sense now]


Dear Korpo,

I have just been reading your post regarding "Inner dissolving" and have decided to try it as soon as I get hit by my own personal (already boring) emotional "bugs" which I was trying to exterminate for some time (had some success, but it is an ongoing process).
Talking about synchronicity!


Indeed! :D

If you have any questions about this, raise it in the thread and I will be happy to respond. I'm still practicing this and still learning about it. I just did not update it any longer. It was getting a very long thread already.

Take care,
Oliver

Ouroboros
17th May 2010, 12:55 PM
Hehehe, I think you meant to quote Ivanela, Korpo!

Korpo
17th May 2010, 02:54 PM
Well spotted, Mr Ouroboros. I will gladly use the Edit button to eradicate traces of my mistake! :mrgreen:

Oliver

Tutor
18th May 2010, 01:04 PM
Nela,

Welcome to AD Forums. You are not alone.

As you said, you feel as if living two lives at one time, where one no longer fits you and is like a mask. What served as light becomes dim in an inner shift of sight. As this outer light withdraws from your "reality", perception, and all together surprising perception rises from the "dark night". This "newness" however is not new, but rather it is You, revealing as if born into the true light through and from You, and into the dimly lit world that we share in kind.

All is good, to be expected with this spiritual emergence of you within your self, a self which had served as mask for a very long time.

Journaling is a great practice at this time. writing your revealed feelings day to day. it will help you cope in an otherwise more foreign world.

Sharing, like in this forum can provide insight into yourself, as you realize that more and more (exponentially) people are globally feeling their way through this same process.

Good people are in this forum. Some are a bit overtly self-possessed, but they are not lacking of practiced skills which prove helpful.

God Bless,

Tim

ivanela
18th May 2010, 02:28 PM
Hi Tim, thank you for your kind words.

Yes, I also found that journaling is important especially after I have started to clearly discern my two points of reference (I wouldn't say my two personalities, it would sound too much like multiply personality disorder :)))))). One is my perception when I am writing (perceiving) from the lower self, and the other is when I am doing this from my (emerging) self (in those moments when it can break through defense walls of my ego). Learning is different for each of us, and I know why I have been positioned like this (isolation and dark night of the soul) - I have been striped from everything I was or would cling on when going gets tough, so the only way is up. Besides, this is manifestation of my own intent- at one point I intended to "learn and transcendent this "reality" and go to the light" or something like that, and I also intended that everyone and everything in my life that was fake, or was planted into my life to stop me from fulfilling my potential be gone. And KA BOM- following events were dramatic, I will not go into it now, but this is "getting what you want" part so...
Some practices I have learned from members of this forum and Robert's books are already part of my everyday routine, and I am coming here daily, so I am basically living with all of you :)))))))) Not so lonely anymore.

Tutor
18th May 2010, 02:58 PM
Nela,

Yes, for a time to be tongue tied, so one writes in self-discovery of variable personal syntax, and one rediscovers body language from rigidity to suppleness. all toward breathing freely and being our true voice from our uttermost vulnerable field of frail expression.

Love hurts mightily for a time on its way out, pushing all which is not love into its finality.

Cry, scream, laugh, feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel! this time of purgation and incoming wonder revealing that awe which is You with/and God ALone. Be held in That Love's revival and reprizal within the Hearted You.

Re-affirm your beautiful self in the present as the gift unwrapped from under the Lighted Tree of Life.

Everyday is Christmas...and everyday is Christ emerging from the Tomb. Two that are One.

Yes...discern this salvage operation that binds one twogether.

Tim

eyeoneblack
18th May 2010, 03:32 PM
Wow, everybody! Great stuff. You see, Ivanela, the world is abosuletly "unfolding as it should'.

Group Hug, you too Ivanela :D

Richard