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metalmommy
25th October 2010, 08:00 AM
Hello, I am the metal mommy :-). I use that name because being a mother is my biggest blessing in life and I truly love being a mother/wife, and the metal part is because I am a passionate metalhead. Music is a passion to me and something about technical, proficient metal really hits me.

I joined this forum because growing up I had "experiences" that I could never explain, they fascinated me and terrified me at the same time. Parts of me have always wanted to understand them and get them back, other parts of me have been glad they faded within the recent couple years. I noticed as time went by, they happened less frequently but they still remain something I cannot truly explain.

A lil background...

What generally happened is this, when I would go to bed sometimes I would get this feeling that my body was becoming paralyzed...it got harder to move and the more it took over the more difficulty I had breaking it. In order to break this I would have to move my body and get out of bed, if I just moved my body rolled around and closed my eyes again it would hit me within minutes again and just as hard...but willing my body to move was difficult and I would start yelling in my head "get up, get up, move"... I always fought against this because it scared me. My family has always been sensitive to things that are of a paranormal nature, for example my mother who is a very logical minded career woman who values rational thoughts would talk about this man she would see over her bed at night, he was gentle and kind and whenever she seen him, something bad would happen within the week..not because OF him , but seh said he felt like a warning to help her prepare emotionally, as an example my grandfather died two days after she seen him once and my stepfather who always found her tales amusing woke up to see him as well one night and started screaming. The point is things that are difficult to explain have happened to all the women in my family.

Back to me...when I could not break that paralysis I would then find breathing harder, I would still breathe but it was shallower as if a heavy weight was on my chest and lungs..at this point I was usually so terrified I found a way to break it...but not always...when I did not I would feel like I was falling and that falling feeling most of the time would jolt me out of this feeling instantly because my level of fear at that would point was so high.

I did research back then and ran into sleep paralysis, which does fit my feelings, but I always felt that it was more than just a medical happening. I had a good friend, still a good friend, who is a very spiritual man. He suggested I learn to stop fearing this experience and embrace it...after a LONG time of talking to him and trying to come to terms with the fact that I did not need to fear this so much...I attempted willing myself to experience this. I then found that trying to achieve it was very difficult, go figure.. :D

one night..I had an experience like no other and to this day I cannot explain it nor recreate. I was alone and relaxed on the bed. I was not trying to sleep, just relax and enjoy the quiet atmosphere. I felt the paralysis but I softly kept repeating in my mind "its ok, your ok" the falling feeling set in stronger than ever and I felt like I was not only falling , but I had rolled over and fallen off of the bed, it felt so real I could of sworn I was really on the bedroom floor...I kept myself calm and focused on my breathing because it tended to get shallow during this...then I felt this ssensation of wind against me...it grew in strength and it was so strong it was like I was standing outside in a wind storm..the wind sensation kept picking up to the point that it stung me as if the wind was whipping small bit of hail at my skin...then right before the stinging became more than annoying and painful it stopped..instantly just stopped and I felt a soft delicate wind on me and I heard leaves. It sounded just like leaves being blown during the fall and it felt as if I was standing on leaves. I could feel myself walking very softly amongst them but I could see nothing...I was blind in a sense..I tried to will myself to look around me, to visually take in what I was feeling and hearing, but it would not happen and I felt a tinge of frustration at that..that frustration sent me backwards and I felt as if I "dropped" back into myself and I woke up.

Minutes later my friend I spoke of contacted me and said he felt a strange sensation that I had done something and was not as weighed down in some fashion. That only made me wonder even more what happened.

When I was young these things would happen to me almost every night, they continued for awhile until I went into the military..it has been years now, I am not longer in the military but a military wife.. over the recent years I have felt that paralysis a couple times but very very rarely and I cannot recreate it on my own free will, and for whatever reason the couple times I did feel it over the recent years it was coupled with a feeling that someone was staring at my face which made me very uneasy. When I was younger I had a feeling that someone was present when I felt paralyzed, but that was not every time and it was not threatening nor was it in my face..just present...but those couple times in the last couple years it was as if something was not only present and staring at me, it was extremely close to my face like it was hovering directly above me. I cannot explain this.

I will also add in in my younger years I was very spiritual, very open hearted/minded to spirituality. I was never a specific religion, but I had beliefs in a lot of things. As I have gotten older that has dyed away and I doubt things that I never did before. I don't know if this has had any effect on my experiences, but it may. I also do not sleep as deeply as I used to, I wake up during the night frequently.

so that is why I am here. to understand what was happening back then and why it is so hard for me to create now

CFTraveler
25th October 2010, 02:21 PM
Hello, I am the metal mommy :-). I use that name because being a mother is my biggest blessing in life and I truly love being a mother/wife, and the metal part is because I am a passionate metalhead. Music is a passion to me and something about technical, proficient metal really hits me.

I joined this forum because growing up I had "experiences" that I could never explain, they fascinated me and terrified me at the same time. Parts of me have always wanted to understand them and get them back, other parts of me have been glad they faded within the recent couple years. I noticed as time went by, they happened less frequently but they still remain something I cannot truly explain. Welcome to the forums, metalmommy.


What generally happened is this, when I would go to bed sometimes I would get this feeling that my body was becoming paralyzed...it got harder to move and the more it took over the more difficulty I had breaking it. In order to break this I would have to move my body and get out of bed, if I just moved my body rolled around and closed my eyes again it would hit me within minutes again and just as hard...but willing my body to move was difficult and I would start yelling in my head "get up, get up, move"... I always fought against this because it scared me. Sleep paralysis is a condition that usually strikes when you wake up from sleep, sometimes from a dream. More than likely you are entering deep trance, and deep trance is the ideal stage for projection, because your body starts becoming paralyzed without losing consciousness, and you are awake to experience the shift in consciousness from the physical to the nonphysical. Robert bruce calls this waking paralysis, to establish a distinction from the 'disorder' (which is simply waking up before your body, lol) which can be very uncomfortable.



My family has always been sensitive to things that are of a paranormal nature, for example my mother who is a very logical minded career woman who values rational thoughts would talk about this man she would see over her bed at night, he was gentle and kind and whenever she seen him, something bad would happen within the week..not because OF him , but seh said he felt like a warning to help her prepare emotionally, as an example my grandfather died two days after she seen him once and my stepfather who always found her tales amusing woke up to see him as well one night and started screaming. The point is things that are difficult to explain have happened to all the women in my family. It looks like the propensity to awareness runs in the family. This could be what is known as the 'dweller on the threshold', which in her case manifested as a guide.


Back to me...when I could not break that paralysis I would then find breathing harder, I would still breathe but it was shallower as if a heavy weight was on my chest and lungs..at this point I was usually so terrified I found a way to break it...but not always...when I did not I would feel like I was falling and that falling feeling most of the time would jolt me out of this feeling instantly because my level of fear at that would point was so high. The fear, if not induced by the discomfort of the experience, can be a sign of a dweller experience also.


I had a good friend, still a good friend, who is a very spiritual man. He suggested I learn to stop fearing this experience and embrace it...after a LONG time of talking to him and trying to come to terms with the fact that I did not need to fear this so much...I attempted willing myself to experience this. I then found that trying to achieve it was very difficult, go figure.. :D This is also IMO an indication that your fear was due to a dislocation of your energy body- the dweller effect. The fact that you are not scared of experiencing this could indicate that fear was a barrier you were supposed to overcome before having a full-fledged conscious projection. So congrats, you're in the right place.


one night..I had an experience like no other and to this day I cannot explain it nor recreate. I was alone and relaxed on the bed. I was not trying to sleep, just relax and enjoy the quiet atmosphere. I felt the paralysis but I softly kept repeating in my mind "its ok, your ok" the falling feeling set in stronger than ever and I felt like I was not only falling , but I had rolled over and fallen off of the bed, it felt so real I could of sworn I was really on the bedroom floor...I kept myself calm and focused on my breathing because it tended to get shallow during this...then I felt this ssensation of wind against me...it grew in strength and it was so strong it was like I was standing outside in a wind storm..the wind sensation kept picking up to the point that it stung me as if the wind was whipping small bit of hail at my skin...then right before the stinging became more than annoying and painful it stopped..instantly just stopped and I felt a soft delicate wind on me and I heard leaves. It sounded just like leaves being blown during the fall and it felt as if I was standing on leaves. I could feel myself walking very softly amongst them but I could see nothing...I was blind in a sense..I tried to will myself to look around me, to visually take in what I was feeling and hearing, but it would not happen and I felt a tinge of frustration at that..that frustration sent me backwards and I felt as if I "dropped" back into myself and I woke up.

Minutes later my friend I spoke of contacted me and said he felt a strange sensation that I had done something and was not as weighed down in some fashion. That only made me wonder even more what happened. It sounds like you experienced astral wind. This is something that usually happens to someone who is in the process of projecting or already projected. You can project again, but the astral wind is just something that happens.



When I was young these things would happen to me almost every night, they continued for awhile until I went into the military..it has been years now, I am not longer in the military but a military wife.. over the recent years I have felt that paralysis a couple times but very very rarely and I cannot recreate it on my own free will, and for whatever reason the couple times I did feel it over the recent years it was coupled with a feeling that someone was staring at my face which made me very uneasy. When I was younger I had a feeling that someone was present when I felt paralyzed, but that was not every time and it was not threatening nor was it in my face..just present...but those couple times in the last couple years it was as if something was not only present and staring at me, it was extremely close to my face like it was hovering directly above me. I cannot explain this.
This can be as simple as your expanded energy body causing feedback (dweller effect). It is something that happens to projectors fairly often. Well, not 'often', but it happens more than seldom.

I will also add in in my younger years I was very spiritual, very open hearted/minded to spirituality. I was never a specific religion, but I had beliefs in a lot of things. As I have gotten older that has dyed away and I doubt things that I never did before. I don't know if this has had any effect on my experiences, but it may. I also do not sleep as deeply as I used to, I wake up during the night frequently.

so that is why I am here. to understand what was happening back then and why it is so hard for me to create now Check out the OBE research and discussions subforum- it is full of information, and the AD Pedia will give you definitions about the terms that I threw at you in this post.