kundalini or psychotic break?

[seeking]

Last year I had what the doctors say was a psychotic episode. I don't know if it was that,or kundalini. It was terrifying. Most of the stories I've read about kundalini is that is is "enlightening" or whatnot. Mine was just horrible,at least the climax was.

It started out awesome,and then ended with what felt like a descent into hell.It's a really long story, the whole thing lasted about six weeks,from beginning to end. I won't go into that right now, just the climax of what happened to me.

The "kundalini" experience lasted about 30 minutes,and the very last part,the bad part,lasted only about a minute,maybe less.I felt like I was plugged in to something,I had all kinds of weird visions, I felt like there were waves of bliss filling me. I've never experienced anything this intense,before or after the episode.it became to much,though,and i freaked out. i couldn't move or sit up. I started begging God in my mind for this to stop. then at the end,it felt like i was standing on a cliff,and one side was the good feelings,and the other side was pure evil.At that moment,i came out of it,and was able to sit up again, but I felt what was like a forced orgasm.Then it was over.

I got admitted to thepsych ward for a 72 hour hold,and they said i was bipolar with psychotic features.i am still on meds. I occasionally get the feelings, especially energy up and down my back.one time,i almost had another episode of this, but I was able to sit up and stop it from continuing. Both times, I felt that God or jesus was with me somehow,and the weird thing is I'm an athiest.

I don't remember it at the time, but I guess I told the psych ward doc that I felt like satan tricked me somehow.

Has anyone had an experience even remotely like this? Or am I just a lune like they say?

[ButterflyWoman]

Generally speaking, Kundalini awakening is going to cause your life and yourself to change. Sometimes its subtle at first, sometimes it's really obvious, but stuff will start to shift in your reality as a response to the awakening.

I ended up in the psych ward some years ago. I got the bipolar diagnosis, too. I don't know if they thought I was psychotic or not (can't remember, haven't got access to the records any more), but they certainly thought I was crazy. And, for all intents and purposes, I was.

At least, I was THEN. I'm not now. No sign of mental illness whatsoever. I don't even get noticeable Seasonal Affective Disorder most years.

How do I know it was Kundalini doing its work and turning my life and my person inside out and not just plain old insanity? Well, because my life is completely and utterly changed, I am completely and utterly changed, and I'm not crazy now. Sometimes, it just takes a while to develop and sort itself out and settle down.

For now, I'd say stay on your meds (I actually found medication very helpful in maintaining my mood swings, which were excruciatingly painful at times) and keep moving forward, and see how it all unfolds.

You have my compassion for what you're experiencing. If it's Kundalini, you're in for a hell of a ride. And if it's mental illness, you're still in for a hell of a ride, of a slightly different nature. Much love to you, and blessings.

[Aunt Clair]

I agree . It sounds like you had a K event to me. I think this is an archetypical experience of being lead to cross the abyss the first time in this life. And you were taken out of the body and shown the right hand pillar of your body in contrast to the left hand pillar. These must be in balance to become tetrapolar and continue. Neither side is evil or good but seeing this dichotomy of black and white is a beginnning.
The basal level
black left female sin
white right male righteousness

this invites reflection as it is obviously patently wrong
and the magician finds through research and Kaballahistic consciousness through meditative and dreamstate journeys that this is more apt;

Amma Black LPH......Abba White RPH
mother.....................father
wisdom....................knowledge
rest..........................power
active.......................inactive
compassion...............aggression
peace........................war
submission................dominion
tolerance...................prejudice
night.........................day
moon........................sun
akasha......................amoris
et cetera

[alphadracooverlord]

My kundalini made me highly psychotic at several occasion. I don't know if It's in the final stages but It's been nasty at several occasion. Sometimes I believe It's my extraterrestrial territorial behaviour.

I'm now at a point where I can use my third eye to track objects and persons on for ex Google maps.

I look a lot younger than most people at my age and I heal quickly. Thankfully something is good.

[Removed contents that break forum rules]- Admin

During my rule I will destroy psychiatry and replace it with safe natural care. I will do that with most things health care areas.

Kundalini is also going to surface much more because and psychiatrists will have to rethink of their position in this matter.