View Full Version : Starting over. Clearing all my past. Any tips?

23rd June 2012, 01:52 AM
Hey everyone.
I did alot of thinking last night.

I really want to clear my past of all my negative experiences that seem to stick with me. I remember even when I went to hypnotherapy we did a session on getting rid of everything that was causing my anxieties and so forth. This was tough... I stopped hypnotherapy because it was hard for me to do the stuff in front of the lady. Just the social anxiety was brutal.

I want a new start. I have learned so much. I now know, (because I have experienced it) This life is all about learning and growing etc. I'm proud to say I finally have a girlfriend. I met her about a week ago and stopped hiding from life and asked her out and she said yes. She's great and we laugh so much. I am starting to feel more open. I see 11:11 and 1:11 so much now it's ridiculous, but in a good way. :-)

I want to clear all that has happened in my past but I don't know how to go about doing it. For some reason it's always stuck in the back of my head. Not bad to the point to where I am depressed. Spirituality has totally gotten rid of my depression. But it's still there to cause anxieties, and maybe I still have some bad feeling for people who did really hurtful things to me. I want to forget ALL of it. I want to move on.

How do I go about doing this? I still have violent dreams occasionally and I do not know why. There's got to be things in my subconscious that I can't seem to get rid of.

Generally I am a very happy person but just super anxious all the time. I am stuck here and don't know how to get rid of all these feelings. (Not the anxieties) but forgiving other people for what they have done to me. Moving on just in general. Some of the past is good but alot of it isn't. But I am OKAY with the past I just want to stop thinking about it. I simply can't. Can anybody throw me some suggestions on how to maybe help me move on and stop having these violent dreams?

I been drinking nothing but water, (getting into the herbal teas) taking better care of myself, and I am fine with it. I no longer have any Acne, my skin is clearing up because I don't drink soda anymore and I think that is what caused it. I no longer watch the news, or any media really. Unless it's cool stuff like new planets being discovered and stuff.

I do play video games but they make me happy, and have fun doing that so I don't see why I am having all these negative dreams but sometimes they scare me. They are very violent. I don't know what's causing them either.

All in all though I am doing great. Better than I have before... I feel I am growing stronger. I just wonder how I can get rid of my negative thoughts of the past. I don't need them anymore, but they seem to stick in my head anyway.

Hope you are all well.:-)

23rd June 2012, 02:28 AM
Hi Cody.
I have cleared my past with memory-work. Started thinking of negative happening´s what I know have hurted or harmed me....these memories did open up to forgotten memories....Today I feel free and in peace...but it has taken me 12 years to process the negativity I have met in life....Happening´s in the now can also give hint´s to forgotten memories or happening´s...so to pay attenion in the now is very helping.

23rd June 2012, 08:48 AM
Right. I've done this. I still have the occasionally "straggler" memory or issue, but I had a LOT of stuff to process, so it's not much of a surprise that it took quite a long time.

I'm not going to write out the whole thing, because I've written it loads of times and I'm kinda tired of doing that. I will say that I was in a VERY bad place, and extremely messed up and dysfunctional, and in a moment of desperation, I set a definite and sincere intention (through prayer, which was the only thing I knew at the time), and because I really meant it, and I was in a state of surrender when I set it, change started to take place very quickly, though it took a long time for the process to finish (I'm fairly certain it's finished now; all the signs and messages I'm getting indicate that it is, and that it's time to "move forward").

I always advocate that people who sincerely want genuine change set a genuine intention (i.e., DECIDE, and really mean it, no caveats or provisos or buts!) and then surrender to the process. The combination of intention and surrender is unbeatable. And don't resist or fight the process, because it won't stop it, it will only make it harder and more difficult. Let it happen as it needs to happen, and do your best to cooperate with it.

By the way, anxiety (yes, I've had my own issues with panic/anxiety disorder!) is always based in something. You -- the surface, conscious you -- may not know the root of it, but your subconscious certainly does. The nightmares are probably part of it, or they're expressions of your inner anguish and turmoil, of which you may not be consciously aware (yet). You're going to have to face whatever it is, all of it. Don't turn away when it starts to surface. Look at it, accept it (very important!!!), and then release it. If it comes up again, do the same thing. The important thing is to really process it and not just try to shove it back into the subconscious vault where you stuff all those things. I say that from personal experience.

10th July 2012, 02:53 PM
It is possible to change your past. A past experience bothers you because of the perspective you choose to believe. Change that perspective in order to change the belief.

Lets say you are angry at how someone treated you. If you could "see" them you might understand that they were only reacting to their own inferiority complex rather than consciously attacking you.

Something got stolen from you. You can change perspective to a view that the thief grew up lacking, and was a product of his environment, and functions with a psychological problem believing they "need" things so bad it makes them steal.

Can you see the perspective shift? You need to pull up each memory that bothers you and change the angle you view it from. That way the experience becomes integrated instead of manifesting as a blockage. There is a reason for everything that happens. Just look for a reason you are more comfortable with, modify your past. Changing your past will change your future.

10th July 2012, 04:19 PM
Hi Cody. I thought I had participated in this discussion previously, but maybe I haven't. If you'd like, I can pm you with a step by step way to work through your issues (unless we've done this already before, I'm not sure). Realize that what you want to do is slow, painful and may have to be repeated over and over many times- it's just the nature of the mind. I won't go through all of it here because it's complicated. Pm me if you want to talk about this some more, and if you don't, it's perfectly ok.

11th July 2012, 12:09 AM
Cody, If you really want to process these things, you have to cry. You have to feel it in your conscious waking state and you have to confess anything you did wrong to the One who is always listening, whether it happened in this life or that one. You have to speak aloud that you forgive anyone that hurt you for anything they did, then cry because forgiving hurts. I find that the maximum number of times I can do this in one day is rarely two, mostly once if at all, then I have to heal every charkra to regain harmony within the whole once again. You need to find someone who loves you, so that you can lean on that love to endure the process. It works, works, works! I used to have the worst dreams and now they're usually either pleasant or purely informative informational transfers in symbolic form. The secret is that when someone offends another, truly offends them, they literally "break their heart." They fracture a piece of light off off the light being that is their heart, and keep that piece. It's hidden in our turn of phrase, of the primarily New York dialect, "Oh, you wanna piece of me?" It's all in the language. Then they "hold it against them" which is the anger and resentment one holds against their offender, which prevents the missing shard from automatically returning, which it will if the anger and resentment is negated by TRUE, HEARTFELT FORGIVENESS. In our local dialect, 'It ain't the easiest thing in the world' but it is the core of every effective psychotherapy, shamanistic soul retrieval, or active Christianity 'If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly father will forgive your trespasses.' We are perfect already, it's our wholeness that's needed, our oneness.

The violent dreams show you the people that you need to forgive for something, as they are the antagonist of most such dreams[or the dreamer is the antagonist against them, as those dreams are in the realm of paradoxes and feedback distortions]. The reason one still connects with dream antagonistst is that those antagonists have a piece of their soul, causing mental feedback akin to information transfer between entangled photons, which is a documented factual occurance no matter what the distance. It's worth forgiving the unforgivable and then for sixty to 120 seconds weeping like a new widow to be free from the filth of a recurring dream and the connection to another being's filth, and regain a priceless treasure. Just let God be your confessor, your counselor, your friend, and you won't have to feel the social repulsion of confessing in earshot of a human. It will work better and cost much less! Just don't get in any big hurry. Oh, and CFT's post is worthy of being reread and saved on your computer as is IA56's and Butterflywoman's also. Bless you, Cody, and godspeed.

11th July 2012, 06:45 AM
If you really want to process these things, you have to cry.
*nod* I cried more during the intense period of my transformation/healing than I did for probably my entire childhood (and I cried a lot a a kid!). Got really sick of it, in fact, but it was pretty much involuntary.

11th July 2012, 10:58 AM
I concur totally with what was said by BW above in post no. 3: absolute determination and surrender to the process. Quite a long while ago I wanted to "clear" my past mistakes, so I asked my Higher Self to remind me of all the wrong things which I had done.

Normally, I am a sound sleeper and can never remember my dreams at all (that's why, unlike many on this forum, I project by meditation during the daytime). But after I asked HS to remind me of my mistakes, I had several nights of unpleasant dreams and I woke up remembering lots of things (both major and minor) which I had long since forgotten. It was painful and difficult, but I have never regretted it. I dealt with such mistakes by not only sincerely regretting them, but also resolving to learn from them. The unpleasant dreams stopped a while after that - although, sadly, that doesn't mean that I still don't make mistakes in life! :lol:

My best wishes to you in your efforts!

(PS: I have used the word "mistakes" rather than "sins", as the latter word has lots of connotations which I avoid these days).

12th July 2012, 06:05 AM
I´d like to add that you have to transforme your negative experiences to different acting or reacting....to see what some negative experience did to you, it did give you a sertaine reaction and your acting did become what it is today, to transforme this reaction/acting to something else.....like in my case...I reacted with closing my eye´s when someone has violent behaving, it did not have to be physical violent it did be enough to be very very angry and highen the voice agains me...I did shut my eyes...to do differently I forces my eyes to be open and look at the angry person...I do not let me anymore to react in my old way...this does that the pattern what is made will fade away and a new curage take place....I have noticed that I do shift....I did go mute and closed my eyes...I can still go mute or then I close my eyes but I talk....so I am still working on this but I am so much stronger and I do not get this inner fear anymore....I feel safe in my self but still have not got rid of all this behaving..but it does shift...I do not let me keep my self prisioned anymore...I try real hard to act differently even if it is a small graine differently than before...I am happy if I can shift my feeling it does not have to be acting or my reaction...but do something different in the now when thing´s happen what make´s the old behaving to occure.

12th July 2012, 08:04 PM
I differ here a bit in perspective from others, and I certainly don't claim to have THE answer--just a take that's worked for me.

Here goes:

Why bother with the past as a means to a better now?

Your past is done. Over. The present can be healed and made new by what you do with what's present, even if present gunk was brought forward from the past. If you messed with someone's life, make it right. But the rest?

If you have something lingering in the "now" from the "then," it's not a past issue--it's a now issue. And it's been my experience that dealing with past tragedies, hurts, mistakes, sins, whatever term we use, is a counter-intuitive process. Healing happens when we put others into focus above ourselves. When we "die to self," as our Christian friends put it. If your mind has inflammation going on, then you may NOT want use that same mind to try fixing the inflammation. It's a bit irresponsible of me to just throw out an answer like this when you wrote as much as you did, and when others wrote as much as they did, but I suggest you look into the concepts of grasping and aversion in addition to the Buddhist and Christian concepts of dying to self, ego, etc.

I'm probably oversimplifying here, but as John Lennon said, "Love is the answer."


p.s. Have you read much Eckhart Tolle?

13th July 2012, 05:37 PM
If you have a broken bone, and it is never properly set, it may never function properly until it is. If you have a wound which was never properly cleaned, the infection it develops may poison you, possibly to death. Such is the nature of the past.