How NOT to have an OBE

[oobernaut]

Since you've all been so nice and helpful, I wanted to give something back, so here is my Iron-Clad, Super-Dooper. Blue-Ribbon List of Tips on “How to NOT Have an OBE”...

1 - make sure you live with dogs

2 - anticipate the times that the dogs might be restless, say...anytime they are breathing... and try to time your practice accordingly

3 - a cold snout in the foot or hand can do wonders for breaking a trance

4 - when you find it too easy to tame your mind, a dog with a preset of one bark per 15 seconds can ensure a steady stream of mental chatter – and as a bonus, you won't find yourself in that nagging state of relaxation either!

5 - a nest of loud mockingbirds just outside your window (preferably in springtime, when they really give it their utmost) provides a bounty of all-natural distractions

6 - try to live within close proximity to nosy friends or relatives. (I'll never forget the time I was feeling those pesky exit sensations when luckily my mother-in-law came to the door. Thank goodness her dulcet tones and machine-gunfire knocking reached me in the etheric plane and yanked me back to the good old here-and-now.)

7 - did I mention dogs?

8 - it's best to have as many phones as possible, and to place yourself next to them if you think you might feel an OBE coming on. I have a business phone, home phone, and cell phone – all on maximum volume – and find that their strident tones keep peace and meditation far, far away. Quick tip – have one phone forward messages to another! It's like a symphony!

9 - Speaking of dogs, are you one of the unfortunate who can't own a dog of your own? A neighborhood dog can be your ally, especially if kids walk past him on their way home from school. Any lazy afternoon nap/OBE can quickly be deterred by this yipper. In the best cases, he can become a “trigger dog,” setting up a cacophony of barks from all the pooches in the neighborhood.

I hope this helps some of you who may be on the verge of projecting. If my experience has helped even one person stay firmly grounded in ultra-reality, it will have been worth it. :)

[enoch]

My spaniel is getting old now and has started snoring very loudly. It takes me months to read a book after constantly re-reading sentence after sentence, and I've even given her extra pillows so she'll stop resting her head in aggravating positions in the dog bed. :x

[CFTraveler]

AWESOME POST!
Well, I have a few additions to the list:

1-Make sure your cat is in the room when you're practicing, so he/she can jump on you every time you're buzzing with projecting energy.

2-Make sure he/she is the 'bity' kind, who will bite that tender part of your ankles when you manage to ignore him/her.

3-Make sure you have one of those handy 'walkie-talkie' type phones, so that when your significant other beeps you or starts talking to you on it and you ignore it, he can 'alert' you so you have to get up to either turn it off or to tell him to shut up.

4- To top it off, have a home office that gets faxes at any time of the night, so you can be interrupted at any time of the night.

[Scorpyn]

Some more :

* Allergies seem to work quite nicely
* Clocks that tick too loud
* Hmm... something else aswell...

[Sachiel]

HAHAHAHA...

I concur.

Though every dog I own has a strange psychological fear of house stairs. They will go up ANY stairs, just not stairs in houses. I've tried multiple houses.

The fact of the matter is, I project upstairs so I wouldn't know.

[deepemotion]

Another one...

if all the above fails, acquire a neighbour who's daughter practises to be a POP IDOL in the garden (next to your bedroom/meditation room window) at the time of your deep trance... (which happen to be mostly on Sunday afternoons)

Will keep you firm in reality.. if you happen to be projecting allready when the practise starts, your physical body's repulsive convulsions will recall you from where-ever you are...

Have fun..

Oh, oh, oh...I have another one:
Make sure your spouse works from home. And, make sure your meditation area is right next to their office. And, make sure they have a brain that filters out any requests regarding quiet for AT LEAST 30 FRIGGIN' MINUTES!!!!

Oooooo, thunk up another! Have a sister who has a psychic connection to the times you forgot to turn off the phone for meditation. And, she has something of earthshaking importance, so calls multiple times because she just "knows" you are there and screening your calls. :lol:

[Beekeeper]

Add to that.

Make sure you live in the kind of house where the local kids like to congregate, especially since their parents know you're teachers so you're probably a safe bet (especially during school holidays) .

Ensure they knock on your door loudly and frequently and ring your phone at regular intervals so that any ajustments to your meditation/napping time are bound to be met with noisy interruption. Good too if you can train your children/husband to burst into your room looking for you when the whim takes them. And, for those early-morning-in-bed-sessions, nothing works a treat like the freight train experience of spousal snoring.

Also excellent is to have an escape artist dog that is only contained by fences if it chooses to be contained by fences. Such creatures necessitate search (and rescue?) operations which keep you clear of any dangerous vibrations or floaty sensations.

Should these measures fail, I highly recommend plumbing that loudly shakes the foundations of your house when anyone washes his hands or you use a washing machine or neighbours with a penchant for home renovation.