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CFTraveler
23rd April 2013, 09:53 PM
For the past week I've felt an almost uncontrollable dread and since yesterday it's gone into a rage. There is nothing in my life (or hormonal situations, lol) that would account for it. It also has preceded or coincided with the things that have happened this past week (the Boston Bombings, earthquakes and other disaster-type of things that have happened.) I wonder if I'm alone in this, or has anyone else who tends to be empathic had this problem? I am feeling better, I hope it's for a reason.

ButterflyWoman
23rd April 2013, 11:47 PM
I've been fine, thankfully.

But as I've mentioned recently in another thread, I shield myself very well, and I don't invite this sort of thing into my reality. I'm too easily knocked off balance to take on the pain and burdens of the world. This is a lesson I had to learn. I can only be responsible for, and attentive to, things that directly affect me in my reality. What happens in the rest of the collective is not my concern.

And you know what? Even as I write that, knowing this has been something I've had to learn to live by, I still have little pangs of guilt springing up from somewhere. Little thoughts of, "But don't you CARE about these things?!" (Yes, I do, but I can't carry that burden) and, "So you're going to live with your head in the sand?" (No, I just don't seek or invite misery and suffering into my reality, no matter how compassionate I might naturally be), and a few others. I don't know where the guilt comes from, other than my mother insisting that everything be about her (I had to care about her feelings, her thoughts, her needs, her everything, and if I didn't, I was being selfish and mean, etc.), and the general consensus of Western society that we're somehow obligated to pay attention to every tragedy in the news (and really, that's all there ever is in the news, which is why I never watch it any more and haven't for years).

I know this isn't really on the topic of what you asked (I'm sorry you're out of sorts, and there probably IS a big disturbance in the Force, so to speak, lots of upset, angry people around for lots of reasons). I just took the opportunity to voice something that has been coming up in my own reality a lot lately, and maybe work through it. (I know you get that ;))

Tutor
24th April 2013, 02:43 AM
yep, have been feeling that too CFT. to preserve, some controllably feel (respond) what otherwise would uncontrollably escape as further mayhem (reactive). we all, in our immediate surprize experience reaction, but not all allow further reactivativity toward cyclic mayhem (shielding others). most would call this weakness, perhaps it is from a worldy perspective. yet collectively, the responsive is the spiritual strength given, where otherwise it could not be as a given.

But like Butterfly, I dont allow incoming news; quite simply I do not require the news to inform me our worldy woes. I quite realize that all the colllective goodness of our lives is not worthy of the news. If the news was in charge of worthiness i reckon the sun would fail to rise. though, i am not saying that uncommon tragedys that humanly concern us all, are not worthy of being reported.

I didnt know anything about it till two days after, when visiting a friend. well it was all he talked about. looking back though, I see where that I felt grieved that something was seriously wrong somewhere, because I remember being more conscious to guard myself from outside news coming in, fearing some terrible happening concerning North Korea's threats.

it is important to guard oneself from being thrown off balance, we're humanly predisposed, i reckon so. giving way for our mindfulness of hearted sanctuary opens one to feel from that heartfulness the minded prayerful responce. if one's mind won't mind, then one mind's their mind. ergo, unbalanced. been there, done that; and I being everybit human, am easily returned to that if I in forgetfulness am not mindful.

but, it is ok to be forgetful in a sense that when i whistle for my dog because i can't see my dog, well that dog better come a running. because if that dog dont immediately come, that dog will closer approximate understanding of the reoriented command 'come' when reminded. A sanctuary requires a sense of letting go and letting be, a kind of forgetfulness inward of that which requires recasting change of mind. I have no problem with my dog freely running about, it's what dogs do best.

Tim

Dreamweaver
24th April 2013, 04:35 AM
I feel/see other peoples' emotional/thought content and also recieve other kinds of info in other ways. I have learned to be more selective (imperfectly) in what I allow in by shielding my space and by responding with intention and attention to certain kinds of incoming inputs. If I don't do this it can be VERY uncomfortable. Generally I intend to receive stuff I can do something about and/or am contracted to do something with. Its important for ethical boundaries and self-care.

ButterflyWoman
24th April 2013, 05:44 AM
I have learned to be more selective (imperfectly) in what I allow in by shielding my space and by responding with intention and attention to certain kinds of incoming inputs. If I don't do this it can be VERY uncomfortable.
Yes. This. Only for "uncomfortable", in my case I might go so far as to say "mentally and emotionally unbalanced". If I don't tune out the rest of the collective unconscious, it definitely affects me, sometimes as much as people who are actually in my physical reality (I definitely have to filter/screen against them and their emotions!).

The thing I've realised since I wrote the previous post (because I've been thinking about it on some level) is that even with my filtering, shielding, screening, whatever (because I do try to allow SOME stuff to come through), I'm still far more aware of the ebbs and flows of the collective unconscious than pretty much anyone/everyone (present company excluded; this is a small collective of very unusual souls here ;)).

I'm starting to see some other things about the collective unconscious, too, the way it moves, the way it works. It really IS like the Force, in that you can influence it, while it influences you. Becoming aware of that is a key to... well, a lot of things, I think.

I also realise that the way I tune it out is similar to being inside with the curtains drawn. I know the weather is still out there, happening, even if I'm not directly aware of what, precisely, is going on with it. But I can open the curtain any have a look, or step outside to see for myself, any time I want. And if it's something serious enough, like a big storm, I still hear it and am aware of it (but my filtering has gotten really good, so a lot of stuff just never touches me at all, for which I am deeply grateful). And to push this metaphor just a little further, just because I'm inside and cozy in my environment, that doesn't mean I'm not compassionate to those who are outside getting sunburned or rained on or hailed on or whatever is going on.

The clarity that is coming to this issue is kind of startling, in that it's all falling into place at once, like an inverse explosion. Bit dizzying, really. There's more, too, but I can't articulate it.


Generally I intend to receive stuff I can do something about and/or am contracted to do something with. Its important for ethical boundaries and self-care.
Yes. Again, this. Important information comes to me in various ways, but I am blissfully shielded from the general misery and mayhem of the suffering of the world. This was not always the case, and I paid dearly for it. So now, I live in state of awareness and have the ability to step out into it, so to speak, but for the most part I'm sheltered. And again, when I think of it, I am filled with waves of gratitude. All my life, I sought solace and comfort and peace, even if I didn't know that was what I was doing. I went down all kinds of wrong roads to try to achieve it, but here it is, I live within it. I don't know when this happened, but I am profoundly grateful.

Thank you for this thread CFT. I know this isn't the way you probably thought it might go, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to explore this idea and see these things. You know I love you, right? ;)

IA56
24th April 2013, 06:53 AM
For the past week I've felt an almost uncontrollable dread and since yesterday it's gone into a rage. There is nothing in my life (or hormonal situations, lol) that would account for it. It also has preceded or coincided with the things that have happened this past week (the Boston Bombings, earthquakes and other disaster-type of things that have happened.) I wonder if I'm alone in this, or has anyone else who tends to be empathic had this problem? I am feeling better, I hope it's for a reason.

Yes CFT there is a reason for this "rage"..I will tell about myself and also one theory I have.
1980-81 when I got this "teachings" about our industrauctable core etc...one thing amonst many was strange what I have reacently got answere to...during this 1980 period suddenly I was like looking through pink glasses ...I was during this period and later too until reasently...not daring to express my rage and anger...I had Jesus as my role model and mimicing him in patience etc..."spiritual" world can only express it self to us through images, feeling´s, colores, and ewoking happenings, word´s in us to communicate with us and or teach us....Duality is divided as we know...my world picture was at this time...red being negative and blue positive...and I always did pick red/pink because to be true to myself, I knew I was bad in me...and when my son did say that mother is an angel I felt such a deep shame, that no, I am not an angel the opposit infact...but I was mimicin good...what I did feel as bad was that I did not dare to be angry because I was afraid I will kill someone in this rage if I let it free...off course this is all fear of the unknown in me...I fear I am so bad and we humans do have this potential killer in us....(today I know I do not even raise my hand towards if I am being facing others rage and anger, and I have let my rage and anger out, I did not kill anyone, not even got one thought of it)..So that divinity or spiritual world did give me this experience making me look through pink colore to tell me this fear of my own rage...and why pink and not red was because my rage is rather mild in comparance to what rage can be in it´s fullness.....

So where am I going with this story...I am trying to say about to really to know your self...and if there has bean so much self diciplin for reasons only you know...the best thing is to become through and through really what you are....to hold back on our emotions/feelings they turn to be ugly and only honest feeling´s are good...as they also say...holy rage....that hold back of truth as hiding the real feelings/emotions turn´s good to bad...and bad to good...if you understand what I am trying to say here...I am not able to put it differently...yet....so ...:-)

BDeye
24th April 2013, 07:43 AM
Some really good thoughts running around here. Being able to shield/filter this constant influx of chaos, horror and violence is imperative. Of course we have to be aware of the world around us, for our own safety and our loved ones. I wish I could say I was free of the "dread", which strikes whenever I let my guard down but I try to get that guard up pretty quickly again. If I was a better person I'd be on a plane and at every disaster, offering any help I could, but the reality of it would mean that I would never touch down.

The synchronicity of this thread and the comments are quite remarkable, this universe just keeps answering me if I keep my eyes open and my wits sharp enough to decipher the message.

ButterflyWoman
24th April 2013, 08:54 AM
If I was a better person I'd be on a plane and at every disaster, offering any help I could
I don't think that doing that would make you a better person. It would mean you were a different person. There are people who do that, and good on them, I say, but that's their life path, so they're following it. My life path (and yours, I'm guessing here ;)) does not include that sort of interaction. Even if I had endless time, money, and the desire to live like that, it would almost certainly destroy me to do it. So much misery... and you can help with some of it, a little bit of it, but it's always the tip of the iceberg, you know? I think that sort of direct altruism is pretty awesome, but I am absolutely not made for that. This vessel is not capable of that kind of interaction, it just isn't. And that's actually okay.


The synchronicity of this thread and the comments are quite remarkable, this universe just keeps answering me if I keep my eyes open and my wits sharp enough to decipher the message.
I love it when that happens. This thread is well-timed for me, as well. I've been exploring the ideas here for a while now, and more and more is becoming clear. It's cool. :)

I used to think that cloistered monks/nuns/contemplatives were pretty much wasting their time and energy by removing themselves from the world. I was so brainwashed! My own, natural inclination is to go inward, to experience the mystical, etc., and, in fact, prayer is incredibly powerful when used correctly, as I would assume a lot of contemplatives are able to do. Having a monastery full of dedicated monks praying for this or that may have a lot more effect than I would have given credit for, years ago. I know better now. ;) I am beginning to see that a few, or even one, truly Self-aware and conscious vessel can deliberately set all kinds of change in motion, far more than a much greater number of people working on only a material level. It sounds weird, even to me, because it kinda sounds like I'm saying "don't do things" but that's not it at all. It's totally about the consciousness, the awareness, and how very powerful that is, much more so than years of hard work that has no true consciousness or awareness motivating it.

Wow. Awareness is just popping like bubbles all around me today. Haven't had this happen in a long time. It's cool. And it's so incredibly subtle, the stuff I'm seeing. I'm not surprised it took so long to get to it, because it is so very subtle. You have to get a lot of much bigger illusions and misunderstandings and beliefs out of the way before you can see this kind of subtlety. Pretty awesome stuff.

And I'm grateful to be one of the apparently few vessels that are able to see these things, not because it means I'm "special" (whatever that means) or "enlightened" (again, whatever that means), but because it's just cool and fun to experience.

CFTraveler
24th April 2013, 01:42 PM
I know some of you know this, but the feelings came before the facts, which is why I was perplexed and trying to transmute the feeling via meditation. FWIW, it's better, but not gone. And I do need to learn to shield myself better from emotional disturbance, which still seems to be the stuff that takes me down. I thought I had learned to do that pretty well, but I was apparently wrong. :) .

Tutor
24th April 2013, 07:23 PM
If I was a better person I'd be on a plane and at every disaster, offering any help I could, but the reality of it would mean that I would never touch down.

BD,

Exactly! a 'better person' too, remains grounded no matter what. the 'better person' realizes that they are human, one in a great many humans just like themself. being grounded is being a help even when along with everyone else there is the collective sense of helplessness. seems like a defeatist attitude, yet it is a solitary victory engatherance of others also grounded as collectively victorious.

But that's not to take away from those who rush to a ground zero of tragedy, quickly getting to the bottom of it for the victory. it is what they do best, and it doesn't mean that if you're not one of them that rushes in, that you're any less or more a part of the victory. it just means that a 'body of' requires two hands toward preservation of order. (Nascent & Conscience) - humility.

for every one in the field, logistically it takes ten to support this one. being grounded or prayerful is as good as money, and money requires something of real value to back its worth. it's like ten fingers working together for this one person with actual hands in it assures our victory. victory surely is peace of mind and secure heart for all humanly concerned (body of).

for what its worth, my penny,

Tim

takes me down everytime too, but we get back up a-gain. the ones running to, go down later when it all catches up with them. we ought to see that these ones have an accumulated lot upon them when they go down, they having not taken the time for going down and standing up through cumulative tragedys. in a way, we are all at once in our running time, attacked all the way to the finish line. bespeaks of how close we all are...to that victory over own human collectivity of nescience and willfulness. self-exaltation

Psalm 133/Hebrew appointed as 132:

1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;

3 As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore. Amen

Dreamweaver
25th April 2013, 04:59 AM
Another thing that helps me is to make meaning mindfully ;-), to rest in the experience of being shaped and guided, to know I have been given opportunity to help. I invite Spirit to my work. It also helps me a lot to know there are others like me.

BDeye
25th April 2013, 06:52 AM
I like to think that the universe moves me where I need to be, presents me with the opportunities I need, but I still need to take the initiative and act on them. It's a strange and wonderful place and I'm still pleasantly surprised every day of my life. There is so much to see, all I can keep trying to do is increase my scope of awareness and catch as much of it as is possible.


It also helps me a lot to know there are others like me.
I'm also glad at the prospect that I share this universe with people of a similar disposition.

ButterflyWoman
25th April 2013, 07:31 AM
You know, I used to search for evidence of others who had gone down this path, had similar experiences, etc. I do still sometimes ask if anyone else has had such-and-such experience, just out of curiosity, but ultimately, it no longer matters if anyone else in the history of humanity has been there and done that in similar ways to me.

As it happens, history is full of records of mystics and others who have had similar experiences, have come to a similar view, see the things I see, etc. They may express it differently, and use different terms, and their descriptions and teachings will be necessarily flavoured by their personality, culture, the historical setting in which they lived, etc., but it does become clear that we're all really talking about the same kinds of things. The Buddha, the Christ, the Apostle Paul, various saints and mystic of different traditions (Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, etc.). It doesn't take long to recognise the ones who are on a similar path, even if I sometimes have to get past their cultural and personal filters and biases. Even a famous musician, my favourite Beatle (George Harrison) wrote and said things that I see and recognise. So folks "like me" are everywhere, and I know this now. I don't really have the need to seek them out. They turn up now and then in my reality, because I intended that to happen, but I really don't feel like I "need" it now. I just like it. :)

ButterflyWoman
27th April 2013, 07:27 AM
This quote just came into my awareness. I totally, utterly get it, just completely grok. I think it was a kind of confirmation for me to get this quote right at this time. Thought I'd share it.

"Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still." ~T.S. Eliot

Tutor
27th April 2013, 03:29 PM
yeah, kinda says in words exactly what your avatar expresses without words. TY