View Full Version : My Spirituality Journal

4th January 2014, 07:45 PM
This is my journal, it contains various memories from my life and in those, the ones that are important to me and being about spirituality. I've decided to start writing this two days ago, and I thought "I'll eventually share it with someone" but when I found this section in this forum, I've decided to share it with everyone around here. I'll post more stuff as I have more important events in my life which involves spirituality. I've copied this text from the word document I've been writing into. As I add more text, I'll save those to the document as well. I'm also open to the questions you may ask and the advices you may give. And now the journal:


By Batuhan ďDorukĒ «İMŞİT

The Past

Hi, Iím Batuhan. This is my journal that keeps track of my own spiritual development. Iíll start by what happened in my early, late childhood and puberty that made me want to develop my spirituality, and then develop this journal more to keep track of my more recent progress.
The first event has happened when I was at the age of four. I donít remember this, but I can tell what my parents know about this.
According to my parents, I was able to read at age two. They say that I was able to understand words and sentences that are written. Naturally, I donít remember these times, but I do know that I was able to read at the time of the first bits of memory that managed to be carved into my head in my early childhood. I was at age four then, but it was later than the event Iím going to talk about. Yeah, I was able to read, but I wasnít able to properly speak! As time passed I hit age three, and then age four. My parents got worried about me, because I was way past the age that most children should start to speak properly. So they have started to look for ways to make me start speaking, I donít know what else they tried but the last one did work and that was probably my first spiritual experience, even though I donít remember. They took me and went to a hoca, (pronounced as hodja-we can simply call him master though) told him about my problems, and he performed a ritual, generally what we Turkish people call okutma. It is generally that the hoca starts to say things in Arabic language, often religious stuff included, to send spiritual energy to someone else for good purposes (like healing, protection or empowering) and blowing air to the subject through his mouth at times. According to my parents, right after that he finished doing this, Iíve started to speak properly.
After this, Iíve lived a normal life, away from spirituality, as there was no one that could talk to me about. As Iíve lived my childhood, Iíve read many books, though the books that affected me the most were written by GŁlten DAYIOĞLU, all being children novels, some of them involved spirituality, as the main theme. In all of that type of novels, there was a race of humans or different animals that evolved into a higher spiritual beings in time or that were created as highly spiritual beings a long time ago to reveal themselves at a certain time and transform the humansí lives to better, making them spiritual, and full of love. They had many fantasy in them, but the main message was always clear: The humanity is not as good as the best it can be, and they have a high potential to become higher beings. I grew up with that dream, but without knowing that it was possible to make it real, Iíve spent many years, my entire childhood actually.
In high school, things got a bit different for me. I got access to the internet, and through it, I discovered that the psychokinesis was possible. I never got ahead the most basic parts of it though, like bending(folding) money without using my hands and something called psi-wheel, (Take a pin, a rubber and a piece of paper that is square shaped. Than stick the top part of the pin into the rubber, leaving the sharp part out, fold the paper in a plus shape (take two corners of the paper to one of their neighboring corners, fold, than unfold and take those corners to the other neighboring corners, fold, unfold) or cross shaped, (take two opposite corners of the paper, bring them together, fold, unfold, and do the same for the other two corners) than put the paper on the pin, the middle of the paper that have been folded twice in different directions will exactly be on the sharp point of the pin. After that, hold hands on both sides of the paper and imagine the paper rotating. Also use BATI for increased efficiency. If you need to, you also can rotate your hands to visualize it in a better way.) but I had good times playing with the basic skills. At that time, I was probably most known person of my grade, so everything ďdifferentĒ I was doing was making them curious. Soon, I teached how to do this to some people in my classroom, the quickly started to do it. I even was playing with them by sending my energy to make it stay still. I also was feeling energy in my hands, rotating in my hands it to rotate the paper, and when I was doing it for a longer time, e.g. at least 30 minutes, my hands were starting to feel a bit weird, as if it was calcified and it was harder than normal to move my fingers. That was my first conscious experience with spiritual and psychic energy. I was successful to learn how to ďcrawlĒ. After that, I tried to run without learning how to walk, by trying to levitate stuff. Obviously it didnít work, and soon after I got kind of frustrated with it and stopped doing it. This whole thing took a few months in my life.
After that though, Iíve thought about how I can develop myself and learn how to walk. Iíve come up with the idea of aerokinesis, as I found myself close to the element ďairĒ at that time. Iíve decided to train myself about that. With some practice, I was able to do that up to a limit, I was able to direct the wind, increase or decrease its speed, stop it, or create one when there was none. (When I needed to do that was to cool myself because it was hot at these times, and it also was the hardest one to do, also the resulting wind was a pretty slow one)
Time passed, I graduated from high school and went to Blacksea Technical University, to study medicals. On the first grade, there was many new things to me, and I forgot about spirituality. I started practicing spirituality again at the end of the first grade though, this time, I was trying to get an OBE exit. So far, I didn't make a conscious OBE exit, but I've came close to it a few times. Iíve learned various things about myself and the energy body, started to work on my chakras directly. But that caused bad things in my life, not because I was doing spirituality work, but I had a neg attached to me and disguising itself as the brow center and stealing the energy I was trying to give my brow center. The results was terrible: I felt worse and worse every day, I was becoming bored more and more, causing me to sleep during lessons in university, staying awake had become a real fight for me. And when I was at home, I was playing video games instead of studying, because not doing so was causing incredible boredom on me, also reducing the effectiveness of my studying. I was studying one slide, and when I pass to the next slide, I had forgotten all Iíve learned from the previous one, Until Iíve read it more than three times, I was having a hard time to remember the information within one slide. And there were too many slides for that. I eventually felt myself horrible, even trying to suicide, and getting frustrated when I couldnít do it. I was having trouble every day. After Iíve started practicing spirituality, Iíve stopped practicing spirituality again after six months, and after 3 months from that, Iíve decided to quit studying medicals, and later it seemed like the neg had been weakened by this.
I eventually failed the class, but I didnít go back there to study next year. Iíve started preparing for the university exams once again. I was having a good time while studying and learning. Then I met a Reiki Master (not physically), and got many attunements and activations from her. They affected me in a very good way, I started feeling better, and gradually, even better. This increased my success in physical life too, making me prepared better for the upcoming exams. Than Iíve started to work on my chakras again, which has started to have a bad effect on me again, because the neg was still there, doing this was making it stronger. Iíve started to learn more about spirituality, and that day, I found out about the neg inside me. And banished it finally. This solved many problems Iíve had beforehand, and I was finally able to work on my brow chakra and the crown chakra especially. This happened three days ago, on 1 January 2014, so we can say that finding out and banishing the neg was the new year present from my Higher Self for 2014 ;) Today, itís 4 January 2014, Saturday. Iíve started writing this journal two days ago, on 2 January 2014. That means I didnít take the university exams yet and that also means the important events after this date will be much more detailed as I will write them freshly.

The Present
(The events in it are in the Future for me now, but they will become The Past for me when I write them)

This section is empty because I've completed writing the first section, "The Past" today and I haven't had important events since then. I'll add them as replies to this thread.
With the hope of sharing information with you, learning from and teaching to you.
And of course, with Love; :heart:

5th January 2014, 11:45 PM
6th day of January, 2014, 01:00 AM.

Ten minutes ago, I've completed a 30+75 minute meditation session. In the first 30 minutes, I let myself fantasize about stuff, I've let my monkey mind do stuff on its own. Later I got up to get the light as low as possible and drink a glass of water, as total darkness is impossible with my eyes adjusted to the darkness.
After that, I prestimulated my energy body and started working on my chakras one at a time, starting from the base chakra. I've used my own stimulation technique first, then one of Robert's techniques for each of the chakra. I found it is particularly harder to fill base chakra with energy. After I've finished stimulating my heart chakra, I've started experiencing interesting phenomena almost instantly. Waves of energy bursted into my energy body from my heart chakra, which lasted a couple minutes, until I felt my energy body completely filled up with energy. I had to wait this to end before I could continue to stimulate my chakras. Then I continued stimulating my chakras by the throat chakra. After I've completed stimulating that chakra, the feeling of my body being filled with energy increased even further and I started to get OBE sensations. As I gave myself into this feeling, the s3nsations got stronger and stronger and on top of that, I've started getting a pressure on my chest area. It felt like it was hard to breathe, though I knew that it wasn't the case. I tried to go on with that, and the sensations started to diminish, I was feeling the air blowing through my throat. I checked if I had an OBE, and I've learned that I've failed. Then I went on with stimulating my chakras, the brow chakra was the next one. I felt my head getting heavier and to increase the sensation, I was unknowingly tensing the muscles that are at the back of my neck to bend my head backwards, making pressure on the pillow below. Then I went on to stimulate my crown chakra, and felt more pressure at the top of my head. Than I did some plank action method, and the two tubes method, which I'm getting the hang of how to do. Then I took a big ball of water, passed it through my body while the tubes are still rotating. That caused the ball of water to go up through my body with crazy, intense movements. And finally, I've decided to finish.
The summary: I feel like I've made an important progress today, about enhancing my energy body.
The weird thing is that it took me 46 minutes to write this post. :lol:

6th day of January, 2014, 03:35 AM

After managing to sleep at 02:20 AM (maybe even later) I had a weird dream. I saw a baby, whom, I thought had visited me a second time in my dream. I even replayed my memories about him when I saw him. He was intelligent, for a baby. And he was looking different than before. He had a very thin waist, and a big belly. But the weirdest thing was: his heart was in front of where it should be, and its shape was visible, under the skin. I could also see the heartbeats. I played with him, than night fell over quickly. Than the house got flooded with lava. A few people in my family, that are difficult to be in the same house at a time(from different parts of the family) and I took the baby and locked ourselves into the bathroom. The oldest of us was in the shower (not taking a shower), while all others were outside of it. We sent the baby through a small window to the outside, so he could get help. At that point lava started to leak into the room, we all got oh high places so the lava could not reach us, than we opened the tap in there to cool the lava down with water. The next thing I remember was the lava being gone, the room was expanded and got much more furniture, and it was flooded with water, about 5cm high. The baby was gone missing, I've decided to go look for him, and took one of the others in the room. I also was feeling sleepy and was barely able to see. I thought I should wake up before I can go and search. I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I was in my room, lying on my bed. But what was that? I was seeing newspaper and a summer fan (ventilator) near my own chair. The chair also looked closer to me than it actually is. I closed and opened my eyes again, this time there was a figure, as tall as a human. I was something that someone could create, just an artistic figure, behind my chair. I looked at it for a while, and it disappeared.

25th January 2014, 12:49 PM
25th day January, 2014, 12:20 PM - 02:10 PM (I forgot to mention about that before, but my time zone is GMT+2 and daylight saving is enabled)
This is my first actual 90+ minutes session and I finally am able to enter a deep trance state, completely making the physical body fall asleep.
The things happened to me this session:
-I saw purple fields of "light", albeit not very bright before I started energy work.
-Was able to enter a deeper state of consciousness than I had before by doing the affirmation deeper once every few seconds, allowing myself to go deeper between them and repeating the affirmation to keep it strong.
-That one caused total numbness, even the "feeling of numbness" had disappeared (I was feeling that the whole time in all my earlier meditations).
-I did energy work in that state of consciousness, and while doing that, I saw pale flashed of light in the topmost area of my normal eyes' vision area. Not once or twice, but many flashes in a row for a few seconds, and this whole thing has happened to me three times during energy work. This might be about my crown chakra.
-I attempted to OBE, but due to hypothermia I got at the last stages of meditation (it was too cold to stay in that state for too long) and the door being knocked by my grandfather (my parents were away from the home, that allowed me to stay focused on my meditation the whole time, but that also meant that I was the only one who could open that door until they came back) I had to end the session. At that time, I realized that my body was totally asleep.