Need some advice...

[Jackofhearts]

So I've had a really nasty recurring problem, and it's been getting worse and worse over the years.

I've come to the conclusion that I might be mentally ill. Maybe OCD, maybe schizophrenia, or maybe I just have terrible luck and am being constantly attacked by horrible monstrous things.

From my perspective it feels like my mind is being slowly overwritten by something, and that as I'm being changed I'm also being pushed out of my own space into the space of others. It feels like in a desperate attempt to balance I've latched onto the minds and energies of others, and am by no control of my own, hurting them quite badly.

I desperately hope this is not true, and that I'm just mentally ill. But my mind feels like it is no longer my own, and I'm at my wits end. I can feel the energies of people I care about getting trapped in me, being crushed slowly. But nothing I do makes it stop. I feel like my own being is being pulled into a tiny point. It's horrible, and I've contemplated ended my life many times just to make it stop.

Does anyone have any advice? Can anyone see what I'm talking about? Do you think I should go see a physician? A priest? I've tried prayer, meditation, salt baths, aluminum foil hats...

I am thoroughly fed up with all spiritual things and would just like to live a normal, peaceful life. I want to focus on my work and the world around me, not this hell I feel inside of my being.

Here's hoping someone can show me the way out of this torment. Thanks.

-Jack

[CFTraveler]

I recommend that you seek out psychological counseling, not a psychiatrist- and get some talk therapy- from there you and your therapist can go to where you might think the problem is. It can be a combination of things- in life, problems usually don't appear out of the blue or are simple and one-ended.
Considering the nature of the question, I've moved this topic to the PSD forum.

[Jackofhearts]

It's gotten to the point recently where I literally feel like I am losing my mind. Something is preventing me from grounding. I am so overcharged with energy that I feel like I am going to end up destroying myself or someone else. I feel like something is erasing me, and I've lost most of the control I had over my mind.

Can anyone help?

[IA56]

Dear Jack,
This will demand all of your focus...and your determination to take control over your own mind and life.
You have to want peace and controll over your own life, I feel your unsecurity and ambivalence of your own
strength and abillity. There are no-one who can do your inner work.
A contact to a psyhologist is good, you need structure and support, someone who listens and understands.
But you can not have the psyhologist living with you, right? So you have to train your self to trust your own strength, and you have it, but you must understand to take it back, what ever made you think you are not in control over your own mind and life, you just say....NO to all negative thoughts....and say it an mean it.
Then force yourself to think good thoughts...say...I am a good person, I love myself...I am strong...keep saying this until you feel the balance back inside of you....and try to make your self to laugh...that is the best defence I can tell against all negativity.

I send all my love and laughter towards you.
I know you can take back your life and strength.

Love
ia

[ButterflyWoman]

I spent a lot of my life mentally ill. I did eventually have a complete breakdown, but it was in conjunction with a transformation, so that's kind of another topic, but I spent some time in the psych ward involuntarily. So I know what you're talking about, to say the least.

I agree with CFT, see a counsellor. Talk first, medicate later, and only if the counsellor thinks it would be appropriate (they can refer to you a psychiatrist or other doctor who can give a prescription). Medication can be helpful in the short term, but, honestly, the way I healed and overcame mental illness was through cognitive therapy and, later, meditation (to deal with various stress disorder issues). I'm not recommending medication, by the way, nor am I discounting it. I am, however, very much in favour of self-examination style therapy.

I'm also going to suggest that you do a Google search for the following terms:

spiritual emergence
spiritual emergency

See if anything there strikes a bell with you. It's not actually uncommon to lose your mind as the result of spiritual awakening, but counselling can still be helpful (just make sure you get someone who's open to spiritual-based discussion).

Talk to us here any time you like. We may or may not be able to help, but we can listen.

[Dreamweaver]

Counseling is good advice : ) the only additional thing I might add is to be sure that the counselor is a good fit - to not give up until you find one who not only understands/is open to alternative spiritual practice, energy work, healing etc... but also well grounded and experienced in more standard counseling theories, practices and approaches. Make sure you check dept of health (USA) records or any other country's equivalent database for counselors with no unethical actions on their records, to ensure your safety and well being. Master's level and above imo is best. FYI Psychiatrists don't do talk therapy they prescribe meds.