Energy Work & Meditation panic attacks

[ostynn]

Hi! I'd like to introduce myself, my name is Austin and I've been using these forums for years to seek spiritual advice, knowledge, and such - they've been a big help throughout the years, as has Robert Bruce's books.

I've never made a post, or even an account actually. I can usually solve my problems and answer my questions without ever seeking out personalized advice, until now.

This past year has been really... Well, it's been spiritually confusing - I've been bumbling around, not really believing anything particular, because no matter how far I delve into myself for answers, I cannot find anything other than the limited *me*, if that makes sense. I've also never successfully astral projected, although I believe I have come close.

I recently started (about a month ago) the exercises presented in the book Energy Work in earnest. I've always done minor energy work ever since I read Robert's book on Astral Projection years ago, but never anything too serious.

Well, after a few days of some serious energy work I became far more proficient at Tactile Imaging than I ever have been before, I can literally sense my energy body constantly - I can move energy to and from, wherever I want it to go, and the sensations are intense! I could feel blockages that I assume I've had for years just melt away and become unobstructed. Which would under normal circumstances be awesome and just plain amazing.

However, a few days after that, I started having extreme panic attacks, my energy is all over the place - I have an abundance of the stuff, and I can sense it constantly (I also can feel every beat of my heart, constantly, without reprieve - I believe this is the worst out of all of it). The panic attacks seem to be focused on the fact I'm dying, which is absurd. I've been to several doctors the past few weeks, getting EKG's done and MRI's, the whole shebang, and I'm 100% healthy as a horse, no previous medical problems, nothing. I just can't seem to ditch the fear, the enormous crippling fear.

I immediately stopped doing energy work and haven't done any since that day about a month ago, after the first panic attack, aside from grounding myself. I've started eating more meat, drinking milk, constantly pouring my energy into the earth - which seems to help, at the time, but the second I stop it comes back full force.

I've always feared death, mildly, more anxious about it than actually fearful. But now I am literally terrified of it. I've never experienced such terror in my life. And the fact I can feel my heartbeat *constantly* does nothing to help.

My doctor diagnosed me with Health Anxiety, or something like that - and has prescribed me anti-anxiety medication. To his extreme confusion, it doesn't help - I literally have to be knocked out to stop the panic attacks when they occur, and the ever-present anxiety and excess energy is annoying as hell. One sort of neat thing though is that I can run and exercise for what seems like eternity - I simply run out of time to run and exercise, I never tire. Sleep comes eventually, but for only ~4 hours at a time, and my dreams are vivid and intense.

My questions for the wise people of this forum are as such:

What the heck is going on!? I'm open to any idea's, interpretations, anything at all.

Is there some sort of grounding exercise I can perform to ease this? Like maybe a super-mega Epsom salt bath everyday, or something like that.

Is this maybe just a phase?

How do I conquer the fear of death? I think that without fear, I could handle the feeling of all this excess energy.

Also one last thing, I am no longer able to meditate, and that has dealt the biggest blow to me, I think. Whenever I start approaching the trance state, I lose awareness for what seems like a split second, then I have such an infusion of energy I have to get up and run around screaming to calm down, like a bloody crazy person.

I feel like I'm in the midst of madness, and I just need some help navigating =/

[CFTraveler]

Hi Austin.
I have seen people react to this type of awareness like this before, they suffer an 'awareness' overdose. I don't know if this means you had some sort of underlying anxiety issue (or some sort of OCD type of problem) but heightened awareness does bring this out. I do believe you need to speak to some sort of faith-based counselor regarding this fear of death- I don't know if you believe in or have any kind of religion- perhaps talking about this fear of death with someone who's religious beliefs aligns with yours may help you get into why this causes you this fear.
If you have no beliefs regarding the 'afterlife', perhaps the works of Alan Watts may be helpful in this regard. I do know that ignoring your fears and pushing them into the subconscious is not going to help you, it may be coming out in the form of this hyper-awareness and anxiety.
If you are too tense to read (you mentioned you cannot meditate any longer) perhaps listening to some of his videos regarding fear of death might be beneficial- I know that when it comes to 'existential' type questions this has helped me.
My point is that it seems that energy awareness seems to have unearthed a fear you didn't know you even had- so now perhaps it's time to refocus your energy away from sensation to something a little more abstract, that may help address the reason for the fear.
Of course, I'm not qualified to give you any kind of medical advice or counseling, this is what I'd do if I had your problem.
If you find his works are helpful, you can take some of the more helpful phrases and turn them into affirmations.
And of course, the grounding type activities are also helpful- gardening is something I enjoy, it makes me feel connected to the earth and its life.
Good luck and God Bless.

[-asalantu-]

¡Hola, CFT..!

Desde su nacimiento, mediante la fusión de un espermatozoide con un óvulo, nuestro cuerpo fÃ♥sico inicia una carrera que culmina con su muerte.

Si bien, según Robert Bruce, "nosotros no somos nuestro cuerpo," ¿podemos negar, más allá de toda duda, que nuestro cuerpo fÃ♥sico tiene una conciencia propia (preexistente a la posesión del feto por un espÃ♥ritu desencarnado) y en esa conciencia está el conocimiento básico de que algún dÃ♥a morirá?

Quizá Austin empatiza con el temor de su cuerpo fÃ♥sico a morir. Quizá el trabajo energético (energy work) de Austin, parcialmente, ha potenciado esa conciencia propia de su cuerpo fÃ♥sico, con el efecto colateral de abrumarlo con su comprensible preocupación.

La solución estarÃ♥a en que Austin "convenza" a la ¿protoentidad? (que era la contraparte energética de su feto) de que aún cuando la muerte fÃ♥sica del cuerpo devuelva sus elementos constitutivos al medio ambiente, sobrevivirá aquella faceta energética que era la soportada por el embrión primigenio [luego, feto] (óvulo + espermatozoide), y que evolucionó hasta hacerse sentir, pues la energÃ♥a no se crea ni se destruye, se transforma y ¿por que no? al momento de la muerte fÃ♥sica de su tosco soporte material, puede continuar existiendo al fin libre.

Ese convencimiento puede ser ejercido mediante una adecuada actitud autodidacta relativa a los principios básicos de la FÃ♥sica.

Atentamente...
�ngel

[CFTraveler]

Translation to Angel's great reply:
"Since birth, through the fusion of a sperm cell and the egg, our physical body begins a race that culminates with its death.
If, as Robert Bruce says, "we're not our bodies", can we deny, beyond all doubt, that our physical body has its own consciousness (preexistent to the fetus' possession by a discarnate spirit) and within that consciousness is the basic knowledge that someday it will cease existing?

Perhaps Austin is empathizing with the fear his physical body has of dying. Perhaps, Austin's energy work has powered his physical body's self-consciousness, with the side effect of overwhelming him with understandable worry.

If so, the solution would be for Austin to convince his (protoentity- the energetic counterpart to his physical body) that when the body dies it will return its constituent parts to its environment, surviving that energetic phase that was supported by the initial embryo [later fetus], which evolved towards being felt, since energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed- and why not? At the moment of the physical death of his rough outer covering he will continue existing free at last.

This convincing can be done through sufficient reading relative to the principles of the physical sciences. (Physics).

Attentively,
�ngel "

[IA56]

Hi ostynn,
I have experienced exactly what you are facing now.
I am not sure I can reach to you but I try.
You have to go into a total faith, trust...I did do it like this...
I said to the life supporting force (GOD or call it what you feel confortable to call)

IF IT IS MY TIME TO GO, I AM READY. I LOVE YOU. I KNOW THAT I LIVE AND EXIST THROUGH YOU.

I did relax and breath deeply and did let me sink into this calm knowing.
I was so surprised that all the fear did fade away...but it has come and go...so I am still feeling it when I do loose my self security and self trust. I do know today how to find my peace quicker.

Good Luck.

I send much love and faith on you, I know you will overcome this and find your peace.

Love
ia