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DarkChylde
17th February 2019, 10:53 AM
*Buttercup - the Powerpuff girl
*Lipbalm - of comfrey, elderflower,by CrabTree&Evelyn.
*LongWater baths - Warm and immersive

Please let me wish these for gratitude ,and abundance and appreciation.

buttercup
17th February 2019, 04:25 PM
-coffee
-the internet
-entertainment
-MH and talking to him
-strawberry waffles
-my food card that supplements me to get food every month
-clean clothes
-warm showers
-having cool teeth
-my creativity
-faith
-pronoia
-my phone
-diet.dr pepper
-eating less yesterday
-rearranging and redecorating my apartment
-my lips
-having beautiful hair
-having beautiful eyes
-beauty
-physical exercise
-makeup
-being a female
-cuteness
-my intelligence
-prayer
-my beauty
-the rhodiola herb i've been taking
-my medications
-cuteness
-things to look forward to
-being more socially competant then i used to be
-my body getting stronger
-my therapy appt tomorrow
-my leopard print coat
-flowers
-plants
-colors
-my appt to get a wisdom tooth pulled tommorow
-updating my resume
-reflecting back on awesome things
-my gucci purse
-newness
-my humidifier diffuser
-sending out more emails for jobs tomorrow
-working again next week
-a business meeting next week
-hyaluronic acid
-my crown chakra enlightement intention spray
-having great cheekbones
-thermismooth treatments
-creative outlets and creative expression
-laughing at life
-music
-having a caring heart
-evolving as a person
-emails
-jeans fitting looser today
-not getting those amendments from mr.fraud in time
-my heart's desires
-letting go
-spirituality
-being a caring person
-nightskies
-blankets
-slippers
-looking for the good in things
-versace bright light perfume
-goals
-my femininity
-embracing softness
-my determination
-trying to tune into my higher self
-attractive guys
-compliments
-water
-gin gins
-healthy digestion
-having my own apartment
-taking better care of myself and life now
-art
-shapes
-beautiful words
-humor
-romance
-being a winner
-being productive
-solutions
-having an artist mindset

buttercup
17th February 2019, 04:28 PM
*Buttercup - the Powerpuff girl
*Lipbalm - of comfrey, elderflower,by CrabTree&Evelyn.
*LongWater baths - Warm and immersive

Please let me wish these for gratitude ,and abundance and appreciation.

Are you grateful for your videogames?

buttercup
19th February 2019, 03:45 PM
-getting my bottom wisdom tooth removed yesterday and teeth cleaned
-learning more about people
-appreciation
-coffee
-sportsbras
-my new shoes that came in the mail
-music
-skipping dinner yesterday
-kindness
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-sweets
-hyaluronic acid
-my lips
-being productive
-vaccuming
-warm showers
-yoga
-physical exercise
-getting paid today
-using my mind to be positive
-sleeping better last night
-my phone
-conversations
-compliments
-sunshine
-redecorating and decluttering
-MH
-great deals
-my medications
-MH giving me a cannabis oil pill to try for sleep
-plants
-flowers
-being beautiful
-being a (my first career i did and still do).
-therapy yesterday
-ideas
-my botched hair dye job growing out looking nice and natural actually
-newness
-cuteness
-being smart
-lots of work about to be coming in
-not getting those dumb amendments and it's been way past two weeks
-the pharmacist yesterday being very kind and considerate
-my child-like side
-comfort
-optimism
-surrender
-motivation
-rest
-breaks
-thermismooth
-my creativity

buttercup
20th February 2019, 02:49 PM
-the sound of the birds chirping
-my wisdom tooth removal healing
-getting a credit increase without asking for the card i use for beauty services and health/wellness stuff not covered by insurance. what a blessing.
-my discover card.i love it. they give me cashback all the time.
-my business meeting yesterday with the author who put my photo in his book. we talked some cool ideas and met at tgi's where he treated me and i got a cocktail and dessert that was delicious
-accepting myself as i am even though i'm not quite where i want to be yet.
-my medications
-thoughtful gestures
-my cuteness
-the andalou cannacell face mask i used today
-my beauty
-having nice lips
-my apricot body oil
-sleep
-key lime wafer cookies
-strawberry waffles
-coffee
-letting go
-acceptance
-being productive
-being blessed
-reorganizing and decluttering
-newness
-the internet
-yin yoga
-water
-getting rid of toxic people
-cats
-cuteness
-warm showers
-my heart's desires
-my phone
-good news
-great deals
-blankets
-my balcony window
-entertainment
-photography
-physical exercise
-smiling
-having high cheekbones
-meditation
-evolving as a person
-healing
-being myself
-colors
-trees
-places to sit
-music
-art
-being in the arts and fashion industry
-optimism
-openness
-booking a lot of jobs now
-entertainment
-motivation
-things going back to normal
-MH for all he does for me
-my charisma
-my intelligence
-meeting interesting people all the time

buttercup
21st February 2019, 03:42 PM
-my optimism
-my cuteness
-my creativity
-my child-like side
-coffee
-strawberry wafles
-sunshine
-my medications
-going for a walk to two stores yesterday late afternoon
-great lyft prices
-cute styles
-emojis
-warm showers
-rent checks going through
-my bank overdraft protection
-all the jobs i've booked and am about to book and work starting to get busy now again
-my phone
-rest
-having beautiful hair
-doing the cardio vintage bike yesterday for a bit
-smiling
-my intelligence and knowledge
-inspiration
-positive possiibilties
-my ambitions
-reflection
-being productive
-MH being there for me
-being a thoughtful person
-my lips
-being considered attractive by others
how much i've evolved as a person
-happy memories
-my talents
-kindness
-having great taste
-physical exercise
-becoming more empowered again
-softness

buttercup
22nd February 2019, 03:55 PM
-my medications
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-healthy digestion
-supportive people
-magazines
-interesting stories
-art
-music
-creativity
-sportsbras
-making my next cellupulse appointment
-being a kind and thoughtful person
-warm showers
-that it's now been almost a month and i was supposed to receive these amendments in two weeks which feels like a good sign to me.
-fashion
-decluttering
-abundance
-being able to work tomorrow
-transformation
-things to look forward to
-MH being there for me
-deciding i will go to therapy today
-gin gins
-smiling
-having high cheekbones
-blue skies
-phone chargers

buttercup
23rd February 2019, 03:34 PM
-slippers
-leg warmers
-having jobs to work
-peaceful and pleasurable sounds
-romance
-music
-having abundance
-letting go of the power J had over me
-my medications
-going to therapy yesterday
-water
-MH being nice to me
-colors
-getting a new work folder for bringing print-outs to jobs
-art
-creativity
-having a lot of jobs confirmed for next month
-how great my discover card is
-my beauty
-doing the vintage cardio bike for a little bit last night
-the snow melting
-grass and greenery
-being told by my therapist that feeling blah and sleeping a lot is natural right now with all the high stress of before since i'm basically in recovery mode right now, which felt intuitively right as well
-my curves
-being an artist
-cuteness
-cats
-having acquaintances
-kindness
-being productive
-my personality being calmer and nicer
-awesome future opportunities
-brainwave and chakra music
-being smart
-meeting interesting people all the time
-smiling
-decluttering and re-organizing
-innovation
-entertainment
-appreciation
-evolving as a person
-plants
-trees
-aloe vera
-humor
-my determination
-my strength
-my motivation
-my heart's desires
-miracles
-great deals
-that i've manifested so many of my dreams
-variety
-technology
-dental bonding
-sleep
-headphones
-lattes
-my bravery
-being a nice person

buttercup
24th February 2019, 04:51 PM
-coffee
-face yoga
-getting through these tough money times
-smiling
-shopping
-fashion
-style
-strawberry waffles
-MH bringing me to work yesterday and him and M picking me up from work yesterday
-doing a good job at my job yesterday
-being considered attractive
-my botched hair job starting to tone down and look more natural
-all the free stuff i get from work
-having nice curves
-rest
-my medications
-being a nice person
-kind people
-my goals
-my ambition
-pleasant memories
-entertainment
-blue skies
-organizing and decluttering
-mango juice
-self forgiveness
-my creativity
-flowers
-plants
-shapes
-colors
-great deals
-things to look forward to
-spiritual exercises
-deep cleansing breaths
-water
-the internet
-my phone
-blankets
-sweets
-stain removers
-clorox wipes

buttercup
25th February 2019, 08:36 PM
-going to therapy today
-food
-doing more exercise on the vintage cardio bike
-my jeans getting slightly looser
-physical exercise
-music
-seeing my feral cats today
-being a nice person
-iced almond milk hazelnut lattes
-diet dr.pepper
-getting one of the lamps fixed and with better lighting
-rearranging and redecorating my home
-my botched hair job starting to look more normal
-ordering purple shampoo the other day to fix hair
-getting my eyebrows threaded today
-honoring how i feel
-feeling my feelings
-blankets
-my phone
-cuteness
-getting a bunch of quarters for laundry
-being a female
-E cat being such a sweetie
-happy memories
-water
-entertainment
-having nice curves
-blue jeans
-the internet
-pictures
-my medications
-laughing
-face massage and face yoga
-good lighting
-doing an intention setting exercise last night
-night skies
-the smell of roses
-plants
-flowers
-optimism
-goals
-motivation
-my lips
-my cheekbones
-my strength
-my determination
-rest
-sunshine
-blue skies
-shapes

buttercup
26th February 2019, 02:55 PM
-botched hair job starting to look nicer
-finishing my recaps from last week
-self appreciation
-coffee
-cookies
-face massage and face yoga
-not stooping to someone else's level when they attack me
-my creativity
-sleep
-being smart
-baby wipes
-the smell of roses
-having another cellupulse treatment today
-being productive
-facetune
-water
-getting another lamp fixed
-trees
-shapes
-things to look forward to
-my phone
-the internet
-rest
-entertainment
-decluttering and rearranging
-feeling my feelings
-having nice lips
-stylish clothes
-my appetite shrinking
-my clothes getting a little looser and looking a little nicer on me
-doing a little bit of cardio on the vintage cardio bike yesterday
-my medications
-stain removers
-the awesome cat house we have this season
-gin gins
-slippers
-releasing tension
-things to look forward to
-my balcony window
-MH helping me with things

buttercup
27th February 2019, 03:03 PM
-coffee
-healthy digestion
-water
-getting another cellupulse treatment yesterday
-enjoying a latte alone in a coffee shop i like yesterday
-face massage and yoga
-taking things one day at a time
-great deals
-believing J gave up
-resolving things somewhat with Al
-art
-being smart
-getting my purple shampoo in the mail
-people being happy to see me
-deep cleansing breaths
-sleep
-stretches
-being honest
-trees
-my femininity
-the internet
-plants
-flowers
-warm showers
-clean clothes
-MH
-being productive
-spiritual nourishment
-how nice my apartment is
-learning
-having a lot of jobs this weekend
-blankets
-comfort
-being able to cry
-having beautiful hair
-having nice lips
-music
-shapes
-looking young for my age
-being a nice person
-being cute
-colors
-most of the snow being melted
-finding out from my legal advocate that amendments by J's lawyer were never filed
-photography

buttercup
28th February 2019, 10:56 PM
-my candy that came in the mail yesterday and how delicious it is
-mh getting the lampshade for my bedroom lamp and how amazing it looks
-mh moving the dresser the rest of the way to where i want it in bedroom
-mh coming by yesterday and making me walk with him to the store for my diet sodas and water so i would get out and get exercise and how helpful it was
-going to my doctor appointment today
-iced hazelnut lattes
-acceptance of self
-makeup
-physical exercise
-going with mh to his doctor appointment today
-my leopard print coat
-cute socks
-ordering a sunflower door mat
-confirming more jobs today
-food
-warm showers
-my cats
-mh showing me a pic of the brown cat he seen and finding out it is marble print like my t cat, and thinking maybe it's a sign or something positive
-water
-drinking more water
-validation
-the days getting longer
-sunshine
-trees
-plants
-flowers
-reading more of my spirituality book
-my pink prada sunglasses
-my gucci purse
-rest
-starting back to being less sedentary tomorrow
-newness
-face massage and face yoga
-being productive
-money coming in
-clean clothes
-colors
-thinking about awesome things
-attractive guys
-entertainment
-beauty
-my lips
-my strength
-having a nice apartment
-having goals
-sweaters
-blankets

buttercup
1st March 2019, 03:05 PM
-my new green phone case mh gave to me
-deciding starting today to go back to "normal."
-my medications
-cleansers
-stain removers
-baby wipes
-face yoga and face massage
-friendly people
-physical exercise
-mini challenges i create to better myself
-how my bedroom and living room is turning out with the rearranging and decluttering I am doing
-slippers
-my creativity
-my strengh
-being about to receive more checks
-coffee
-drinking more water
-sleep
-food
-having nice lips
-relaxation
-deep cleansing breaths
-cats
-the smell of roses
-colors
-peaceful sounds
-the wind when it is not cold
-pictures
-being smart
-getting toned
-looking young
-entertainment
-mike's hard lemonade black cherry lemonade
-shapes
-being a nice person
-beautiful views
-learning
-newness
-blankets

buttercup
2nd March 2019, 04:05 PM
-sunshine
-my medications
-positive messages
-sportsbras
-face yoga and face massage
-music
-water
-money coming in
-being considered attractive and feminine
-great desiign
-buying myself a cute gray formal belted jacket just now
-trees
-starting to do more on my own again
-being an artist
-yoga
-thermismooth
-having nice lips
-style
-fashion
-deep cleansing breaths
-working today
-colors
-how nice my bedroom is starting to look
-being focused on earning money
-feeling ambitious to go for it with my first career ambitions
-being smart
-being talented
-my phone
-flowers
-trees
-strawberry waffles
-doing a nice journaling session yesterday
-blue skies
-pleasant memories
-versace bright crystal perfume
-relaxation
-feeling my feelings
-the fitness pole in my house
-being productive
-good skincare products

buttercup
4th March 2019, 01:13 AM
-vegan burritos
-finishing my jobs today
-having money coming in
-MH helping me today
-being able to see some attractiveness in myself by later part of the day
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-working a lot this month
-the day being sunny
-trees
-all the free alcohol i get from work
-going running today again
-warm showers
-my child-like side
-having an innocent face
-my makeup looking nice today
-my creativity
-working on some poems last night after feeling guided to for some time and how helpful that was
-compliments
-inspiration
-beauty
-donating money to charities i like
-my bedroom coming together and looking nice
-future possible opportunities to better my career
-night skies
-how good running feels
-gin gins
-healthy digestion
-water and drinking more of it
-seeing how green really brings out my features and makes me look good
-entertainment
-fashion
-taking a hydrocodone to calm me down after a work incident
-blankets
-diet dr.pepper
-learning
-yoga
-cats
-shopping
-having nice curves
-having nice cheekbones
-clarifying shampoo
-shapes
-having beautiful hair
-moving forward
-rest
-breaks
-kindness
-having healthy, attractive teeth
-people being nice
-being an artist
-beauty
-awesome art
-my heart's desires
-sweaters

buttercup
4th March 2019, 04:07 PM
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-high end photographers taking interest in me
-neck massage
-biting the bullet and buying a neck cream
-MH being very helpful to me lately
-being productive
-all the jobs i worked this weekend
-all the jobs i have this week
-my beauty
-my curves
-my lips
-what i do for a living
-sunshine
-having a caring heart
-sleep
-my medications
-getting a hydrocodone yesterday after an incident that gave me anxiety
-plants
-going for another run last night
-talent
-entertainment
-connection
-art
-inspiration
-goals
-music
-great deals
-great ideas
-sleep
-the bedroom coming together more and more
-compliments
-having nice teeth
-shopping
-mornings
-trees
-cuteness
-water and drinking more of it
-smiling

buttercup
5th March 2019, 03:04 PM
-coffee
-sunshine
-strawberry waffles
-my majesty palm plant
-that my phone says the weather is a little warmer today
-expressing myself
-doing my creative writings
-my medications
-finding out im going to be published in a paris, france based magazine next month
-being productive
-being determined
-sleep
-face massage/ face yoga
-having nice cheekbones
-having nice lips
-socks
-yoga pants
-redecorating
-doing the vintage cardio bike for exercise yesterday
-doing some leafletting for veganism yesterday
-compliments
-my talent
-music
-having beautiful hair
-having a lot of jobs this month
-my bank overdraft protection credit line
-my discover card
-showers
-slippers
-clorox wipes
-great beauty products
-being creative
-transforming and evolving as a person
-cats
-happy thoughts
-cuteness
-entertainment
-having goals
-having a caring heart
-having people who are there for me
-looking young
-meeting inspiring people
-MH doing a good job caring for the cats
-my ideas
-my higher self
-physical exercise
-feeling stronger
-reflective thoughts that inspire me
-trees
-my balcony
-appreciation
-thinking about things differently
-listening to my solar plexus chakra and brain wave music yesterday
-letting go
-that my therapy session is with an actual psychologist which is something i've wanted for awhile
-becoming empowered again and getting my power back
-my phone
-my couch
-learning and bettering myself as an adult
-masculine energy
-creativity
-art
-awesome experiences i've had in my life
-self forgiveness
-smiling
-technology
-my heart's desires

buttercup
6th March 2019, 03:48 PM
-smiling
-sunshine
-optimism
-my medications
-showers
-face massage/face yoga
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-feeling my feelings
-shapes
-slippers
-sportsbras
-having a nice face
-my majesty palm plant
-people helping me
-art
-connection
-beauty
-music
-trees
-blue skies
-buying myself some recent faves from my favorite candy boutique
-skipping dinner last night
-water
-humor and jokes
-my humidifier/diffuser
-entertainment
-being talented
-inspiration
-ideas
-peaceful sounds
-moving forward and making strides to move more
-the sound of birds chirping
-mornings
-pleasant memories
-MH
-fixing things after yesterdays work blunder
-hope
-spring cleaning and redecorating and rearranging
-listening to heart chakra music and brainwave music on my headphone last night
-having goals
-my dreams coming true
-having a child-like personaliy
-my gucci purse
-reflecting on the idea that we could all feel so much more and how blissful that could end up being and how much we all block feeling so much
-fashion
-being unique
-my lips
-style
-the energy of being cool
-healing
-oneness
-blankets
-pillows
-the guy who was originally giving me court advice opening up to me about something last night
-my creativity
-being authentic
-my savings account starting to build slightly
-having great taste
-my femininity
-shopping
-my phone
-having a caring heart
-cats
-my laptop
-my apartment
-my couch being nice and clean

buttercup
7th March 2019, 03:52 PM
-getting another recap done
-leniancy from bosses
-getting my opthamology appointment done and my eyes being fine
-sportsbras
-clean clothes
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-my beauty
-the color green
-warm showers
-the bed almost being cleared
-my phone
-things being revealed by others during arguments
-face massage/face yoga
-sleep
-my ambitions
-my cheekbones
-my style
-having nice hair
-having nice curves
-blankets
-pillows
-slippers
-softness
-smiling
-goals
-being productive
-making efforts to better myself
-trees
-cats
-ideas
-being more calm and collected then last month

buttercup
9th March 2019, 12:48 AM
-candy
-support
-diet dr.pepper
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-trying new things
-being considered attractive
-my couch
-blankets
-my new tearsheets and how amazing i look in the photos
-new photos to upload to online places to promote myself
-being in a new magazine in europe
-the weather being nicer today
-getting a check in the mail today
-having unique style
-having amazing curves
-being a (my first career thing i do)
-smiling
-sweaters
-having a kind heart
-my apartment
-innovation
-great ideas
-mango juice
-having a unique personality
-having amazing hair
-having a baby face
-entertainment
-colors
-my femininity
-seeing the cats today
-having a lot of jobs this weekend and the next few months
-getting the saks card paid off
-slowly getting savings built back up again
-playfulness
-being easy on myself
-my bedroom lamp
-how much better the bedroom is starting to look
-redecorating

buttercup
10th March 2019, 02:43 PM
-finding some lost socks
-entertainment
-having nice curves
-getting a recap sent in
-compliments
-warm showers
-slippers
-having a laundry machine in the building
-having more confidence in my talent and my look
-having nice lips
-coffee
-deciding to shorten my upcoming business trip by a day
-the snow melting
-strawberry waffles
-marbled cookie brownies
-hip stretches
-sleep
-getting the lower mattress out of the room
-redecorating and rearranging
-all my jobs this month
-being smart
-being creative
-romance
-flowers
-face yoga and face massage
-my phone
-connection
-taking things one day at a time
-colors
-shapes
-my new wall decal that came and getting a cute free one that i can place in some random spot in the apartment
-music
-art
-that i'm trying
-my medications
-my butt being so much tighter since the thermismooth sessions
-having great facial structure
-my beauty
-newness
-beauty
-cats
-being appreciated
-pleasant memories
-goals
-spirituality
-MH helping me
-pronoia
-facetune mobile app
-my plant
-my humidifier
-all my free samples
-feeling my feelings
-my new tearsheets
-makeup
-femininity
-my phone
-my laptop
-drinking my aloe vera drink today
-trying to get my back to my old good habits little by little and my normal life while adding in new

buttercup
12th March 2019, 04:23 AM
-diet dr. pepper
-self acceptance
-getting a haircut today
-compliments
-getting complimented on my hair being told i have really nice, strong good condition hair. it's a total hair paradigm shift from years ago when hairstylists always had something negative to say.
-cute clothes
-face yoga/face massage
-getting my living room decal up
-colors
-plants
-buying a hyaluronic lip booster from my favorite skin care brand
-the color green
-entertainment
-doing some reading from my book by gabrielle bernstein
-romance
-music
-doing some more poem writing on the uber ride home today
-feeling my feelings
-good lighting
-sunshine
-blue skies
-trees
-moving forward
-touch
-confirming more jobs today
-marbled cookie brownie
-coffee
-water
-strawberry waffles
-MH being there for me
-cozy clothes
-hip stretches
-getting a check in the mail
-beauty
-st.patricks day themed things
-my medications
-getting my recaps done i wanted to finish today
-having beautiful eyes
-getting the bottom of the bed and metal frame out of the house yesterday
-building myself back up little by little
-shapes
-lip gloss
-art
-having a nice apartment
-being productive
-not having to work today or tomorrow
-deep cleansing breaths
-pleasant memories

buttercup
12th March 2019, 09:06 PM
-going for a nice bike ride today
-being mature
-feeling my feelings
-finding things that give helpful info
-how much sunshine today has
-being strong
-cats
-compromise
-laying in the yard on the lounge chair listening to music and getting some sun at mh's house
-whiskey
-MH giving me his memory foam to go on top of my bed
-the color green
-entertainment
-romance
-setting intentions
-buying some vitamins i wanted that looked good last night
-lip gloss
-fixing my hair color this morning and how much better it looks now with the color and new cut
-getting the wall decal up on my living room
-wearing my new nike shoes today
-vacuuming before getting the new bed arrangement set up
-great deals
-how much better i feel about my apartment since rearranging and redecorating
-my beauty
-my tearsheets
-booking my last stay for my upcoming business trip
-building my confidence up
-getting some groceries on the way home today
-confirming more jobs
-finally building up my savings slightly
-my medications
-sleep
-newness
-being strong
-my creativity
-hip stretches
-support from others
-smiling
-showers
-slippers
-nourishing my spirit
-cats
-being a caring person
-taking life one day a time
-appreciating the simple things
-water
-my pink prada sunglasses
-inspiration
-being optimistic
-updating things
-looking young
-remembering fun
-mornings
-the sounds of the birds chirping
-cute heartwarming animal stories
-animal lovers
-MH putting the bumper sticker up from the aldf organization that says "abuse an animal go to jail."
-lip gloss

buttercup
14th March 2019, 12:43 AM
-MH helping me out today and being nice
-nice weather today
-getting my manicure and pedicure today and how nice the experience was and writing a nice yelp review for it
-feeling and looking slimmer today
-my delicious candy bars from my favorite candy shop arriving today
-my new haircut and color
-getting my medication straightened out today again and getting it picked up today like i'm supposed to
-walking from my appt in the rain to the train and then taking the bus home and how normal that felt
-confirming a job from an agency i havent worked with in awhile
-the beautiful night skies tonight
-the nap i took
-water
-burning some throat chakra incense
-listening to some third eye and crown chakra music before falling asleep into my nap earlier
-my raspberry almond milk latte and mint brownie donut i got this morning
-relaxation
-water
-colors
-the snow being melted
-that nothing, not even the slightest thing happened with me and A the guy who gave me advice for court last night
-being a nice person
-MH putting the abuse an animal go to jail bumper sticker on his car
-my beauty
-my strength
-entertainment
-heart-warming animal videos
-animal advocates
-fashion
-being stylish
-getting called out by name with a few others for a possible booking that is high paying
-smiling
-social media
-my medications
-blue skies
-architecture
-the romantic story MH shared about something he did for his wife years back while working
-beauty
-my creativity
-learning
-hope
-hoodies
-blankets
-pillows
-looking like a model
-art
-romance
-self forgiveness
-self reassurances
-flowers
-evolving as a person
-cats
-cuteness
-trees
-plants
-shapes
-diet dr.pepper
-pronoia

buttercup
14th March 2019, 06:45 PM
-enjoying the mood of this warm rainy, almost spring day
-face yoga and face massage
-feeling my feelings
-meditating
-listening to some root chakra and brainwave music
-ab exercises
-doing some check in reflective writing
-looking slimmer
-my account being ok today
-working today
-diet dr.pepper
-vegan food
-rest
-peaceful sounds
-the feel of the wind
-how great my nails look
-how great my hair looks
-feeling optimistic
-entertainment
-fashion
-getting my new spring jacket and pink knee high socks in the mail yesterday
-pronoia
-faith
-calmness
-my medications
-hot herbal tea
-sleep
-being productive
-rearranging and redecorating
-taking things one day at a time
-cuteness
-cleaning
-trees
-my medications
-sunshine
-blue skies
-being strong
-turning to self help and spiritual methods of coping and healing
-my phone
-coffee
-how much i've grown as a person over the last few years

buttercup
15th March 2019, 05:44 PM
-going for a bike ride today
-feeling thinner and looking thinner. clothes looking slightly nicer on me, pants slightly looser, cheekbones more prominent, waist looking smaller
-seeing my feral cats today
-almond milk
-peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-my medications
-that my medications are free
-blankets
-pillows
-sweaters
-the feral cat winter house
-how much nicer my hair looks now
-my new bed set up being complete
-confirming more jobs yesterday
-having faith
-being patient
-working on some poems last night
-rest
-romance
-hope
-being productive
-my awesome nails
-my prada socks and how cozy they are
-my ambitions and desires
-water
-entertainment
-fashion
-creative outlets
-sleep
-the weather getting nicer out
-peaceful sounds
-my jewelry i like
-cuteness
-my account still being ok
-the internet
-my phone

buttercup
17th March 2019, 01:24 AM
-discovering new awesome things
-feeling a little more attractive
-discovering a cute new grocery store today
-working for a great product today
-compliments
-seeing my most recent tearsheets in print today
-how tight my lower body has gotten from my thermismooth treatments
-having nice curves
-my pink prada sunglasses
-my sense of style
-my new nike black and rose colored sneakers
-being good at my job
-my pink quilt
-diet dr.pepper
-mike's hard lemonade black cherry lemonade
-sunshine
-the weather starting to get nicer
-my beauty
-entertainment
-beauty
-nature
-romance
-hope
-pleasant memories
-sleep
-slippers
-redecorating and rearranging and being almost done with the bedroom
-makeup
-my skincare products
-my medications
-being smart
-my appetite shrinking
-iced almond milk lattes
-thinking positive
-my sunflower balcony doormat
-physical exercise
-becoming stronger again and moving forward little by little
-water
-having nice eyes
-having nice hair
-people being drawn to me and liking me
-listening to my solar plexus and brainwave tracks
-getting a recap done this morning
-taking things one day at a time
-colors
-how great my nails look
-appreciation
-being able to see
-plants
-flowers
-greenery
-trees
-face yoga and face massage
-goals
-my higher self
-self reassurances
-my femininity

buttercup
18th March 2019, 04:15 AM
-sleep
-working the parade today and getting to experience that and get out
-enjoyable conversation with my team lead and letting her in on my secret about D, the other team lead and our thing we had
-sunshine
-pillows
-the little four leaf clover sticker the lady gave me and team lead to wear
-shopping
-iced lattes
-makeup
-yoga
-walking
-holistic healing
-doing some journaling tonight
-listening to some heart chakra and brain wave music today
-pillows
-face yoga and face massage
-my beauty
-not taking things personally and knowing people don't always say things exactly how they mean
-diet dr.pepper
-potatoes
-spicy indian sauces
-my black and rose colored nike shoes
-my new gray jacket
-my new tearsheets
-cuteness
-being a nice person
-socks
-sweets
-my pink quilt
-laughing
-being talented
-my sophistication
-being strong
-moving forward little by little
-improving myself looks wise, personality-wise, spirit wise and in every way
-peaceful sound
-MH helping me
-my nails
-the internet
-music
-rearranging, decluttering, and redecorating
-touch
-getting a refund on something just now
-thermismooth
-how tight my bottom has been lately
-my medications
-my phone
-thinking about what i want
-slippers
-colors
-flowers
-creativity

buttercup
18th March 2019, 09:59 PM
-getting a check today
-MH bringing the bike to my house today and going for a bike ride
-working today and for a type of product i never worked for before
-feeling like i'm becoming more attractive
-press hard seltzer
-my sophistication
-sunshine
-seeing my cats today
-wearing my prada slides today
-wearing my new gray spring jacket today
-having nice curves
-wearing my pink prada shades
-diet dr.pepper
-coffee
-cinnamon raisin bread
-chickpeas curry
-potatoes
-spices
-hyaluronic acid
-slippers
-healthy digestion
-water
-having a great skincare routine
-weight slowly going down
-being a friendly person
-feeling optimistic
-my pink quilt
-being charismatic
-kindness
-entertainment
-hope
-water
-showers
-sleep
-pictures
-confirming more jobs today
-working a lot this month
-blue skies
-pleasant memories
-newness
-travel
-my strength
-my medications
-inspiration
-rearranging, redecorating, and decluttering
-freedom
-perspective
-my phone
-greenery
-deep cleansing breaths
-motivation

buttercup
20th March 2019, 12:49 AM
-getting a ride to my appointment today
-confirming a job from a new agency today
-seeing my boss today at my appt
-getting a laser facial today
-sunshine
-nature
-sleep
-the days getting longer
-my weight going down
-getting lots of praise on new work
-putting up a new social media post for my animal advocacy project
-entertainment
-nature
-my pink prade sunglasses
-my prada slides
-having beautiful eyes
-cats
-my new gray spring jacket and how chic it is
-iced almond lattes
-diet.dr pepper
-doing laundry at mh's house
-sweets
-fashion
-the internet
-my medications
-hard seltzers
-being productive
-moving forward
-learning
-healing
-feeling my feelings
-cleaning, rearranging, decluttering
-my sunflower balcony doormat
-having great cheekbones
-having great hair
-blankets
-yoga
-my beauty
-accepting myself more
-my talents
-being smart
-aloe vera
-water
-MH helping me
-writing out an intentions/heart desires list last night
-getting a free $5 starbucks giftcard
-self reassurances
-mornings
-peaceful sounds
-my phone
-music
-art

buttercup
20th March 2019, 03:19 PM
-face massage/face yoga
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-weather getting warmer
-sleep
-my tv show i've been watching on hulu
-being productive
-music
-sweetness
-conversations
-cleaning and reorganizing and redecorating
-buying the lip product i ran out of
-cats
-cuteness
-heartwarming stories
-kindness
-trees
-blankets
-moving forward
-hyaluronic acid
-yoga
-getting a check today
-being smart
-free samples
-working today
-getting an ipl facial yesterday
-getting a lot of free stuff from work
-my beauty
-colors
-creativity
-art
-my phone
-accepting myself more again and letting my confidence rise a little bit
-water
-evolving as a person
-God
-support and praise from others
-animal lovers
-animal advocates
-smiling
-pleasant memories
-romance
-positive self affirmations of reminding myself of how great i am
-ideas
-bike rides
-meditation
-appreciation
-thinking of things differently
-feeling my feelings
-pictures
-social media
-energy
-plants
-coolness
-socks
-a nice breeze
-peaceful sounds

buttercup
22nd March 2019, 01:53 AM
-newness
-my legal advocate negotiating a compromise with J that is perfect. a mutual no contact order with it written in there that he has to delete and destroy all x rated/intimate media of me(which i know he doesn't have but just as a safety precaution). The order will basically make both of not guilty and means no hearing or meeting up with my advocate next week to prepare how to defend myself against his fake allegations. all we have to do is go to judge on court day and give them it and it's all over.
-seeing J's evidence the lawyer sent over and realizing his lawyer must've told him most of what he accused me of cant count as evidence since there was only 2 things sent
-my hulu subscription and the TV show i've been watching
-sleep
-losing a slight amount of weight so far
-being pretty
-diet dr.pepper
-those who showed support of my good news
-having goals
-deciding to change my flight dates
-yoga
-blankets
-coffee
-using the tiger thermos MH's wife gave me months ago for the first time instead of just keeping it as a decoration
-cleaning, rearranging, and redecorating
-my phone
-the support and praise i've been getting on my new work
-beauty
-unique beauty
-listening to brainwave music with headphones before napping
-working a lot this month
-feeling my feelings
-masculinity
-petting H cat and him being a little more receptive to me today
-how much E cat loves when me and MH are around even though he's not ready to be petted yet and keeps more of a distance
-my new fluffy stuffed animal lamb i bought yesterday that is so cute.
-shopping
-being stylish
-my new gray belted jacket
-being smart
-being productive
-smiling
-having great cheekbones
-having great skincare products
-physical exercise
-music
-nature
-stopping at the new whole foods that was right by the place i've been going to lately to consider switching to therapy for
-having more money on my food card then i thought
-having integrity
-touch
-facial massage/facial yoga
-ideas
-attractive guys
-my medications

buttercup
22nd March 2019, 07:21 PM
-going for a bike ride twice as far as the last three and doing some exploring
-sunshine
-blue skies
-trying out my face tan water
-having faith and taking things one day at a time
-feeling healthy
-people who are sweet
-seeing my feral cats today
-my sophistication
-my gray belted jacket
-coffee
-diet dr.pepper
-my pink prada sunglasses
-wearing my slides today
-shopping
-being resourceful
-losing weight
-blankets
-sweaters
-my fluffy stuffed animal lamb
-conversations
-entertainment
-fixing some things with my credit card
-cancelling my lodging for my trip so i can reschedule a little later
-plants
-water
-colors
-fashion
-vegan food
-cinnamon raisin toast
-the awesome stain remover i've been using to remove makeup off the floor
-my medications
-doing some reflective writing last night
-music
-support and praise on my new work from others
-sleep
-coziness
-my stuffed animal lamb
-organizing, decluttering, redecorating

buttercup
25th March 2019, 04:02 PM
-talking things out with D
-hanging out with G yesterday
-strawberry waffles
-coffee
-sunshine
-D texting me
-offering my wisdom
-mh giving me money through cash app
-being productive
-sleep
-feeling my feelings
-my medications
-showers
-clean clothes
-getting a nifty flyer for an upcoming event im doing
-plants
-peaceful sounds
-being social yesterday
-hyaluronic acid
-my lower body looking smoother
-kindness
-walking
-my gray belted jacket
-water
-organizing, redecorating, decluttering
-money being put back on my credit card
-having faith
-blankets
-yoga pants
-pillows
-blue skies
-my beauty
-newness
-connection
-getting my recap done
-cash app
-my phone
-music
-uber prices getting better
-neck massage
-laughing
-funny moments

buttercup
26th March 2019, 03:34 PM
-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-my medications
-my power
-being there for D and us growing closer from it. him revealing his dark past and saying we will work things out and he will the light at the end of the tunnel for me after court
-humor
-being authentic
-being a kind person
-becoming more high status
-my beauty
-tank tops
-showers
-love
-music
-connecting with others
-sunshine
-going for a 4.4 round trip bike ride yesterday and seeing my body slim out slightly
-my appointment today
-getting a check yesterday
-MH cash app-ing me $20
-MH talking to the business about the stalker
-blue skies
-plants
-colors
-getting the wall decal letter for free to finish my living room set up and them sending me 2 to choose from
-sleep
-having nice curves
-the color green
-my green nails
-looking young and feeling like my face is starting to look younger
-being productive
-booking the first day of the rescheduled trip
-my phone
-fashion
-art
-reflecting on life
-my jobs i have coming up and castings
-being a caring person
-MH giving me 2 hydrocodone yesterday
-making money
-catching up on money
-my dad getting the magazine i sent him and how much he seemed to like it
-water
-clorox wipes
-moving forward
-growing as a person

buttercup
27th March 2019, 03:01 PM
-these marbled cookie brownies i'm eating
-coffee
-the floral print sportsbra that came in the mail and how good it looks
-hope
-romance
-D and I getting closer to each other
-sleep
-bike riding
-getting my cellupulse treatment done yesterday
-newness
-innovation
-love songs
-incense i'm burning
-sunshine
-that today is a warmer day
-fashion shows
-shopping
-fashion
-moving forward and little by little getting back the progress i had made
-cash app
-confirming another job today
-trees
-colors
-blue skies
-how much the med spa appreciated the card i sent them
-my gucci purse
-my power
-sunning a little yesterday and seeing my feral cats
-cuteness
-having a kind heart
-being an understanding person
-my phone
-learning
-my beauty
-getting myself a startbucks after my procedure yesterday
-the days getting longer
-MH dropping off diet dr.pepper at my house
-smiling
-laying in my bed for about an hour doing a spiritual intention exercise
-cleaning, redecorating, and decluttering
-my goals and ambition
-things going well for me right now
-pillows
-having a kind heart
-calmness

buttercup
28th March 2019, 03:49 PM
-coffee
-almond milk lattes
-getting my coffee and donut delivered to me
-motivation
-doing my laundry
-that it's a sunny day
-music
-hope
-romance
-love
-deep cleansing breaths
-my creativity
-my medications
-romance
-entertainment
-my power
-the event i got to work yesterday
-getting paid an extra hour for arriving early to help prep
-learning
-the boss buying me a coffee before we started
-clicking really well with the girl i was partnered with
-having great taste
-being thoughtful
-having a caring heart
-smiling
-laughing
-my strength
-sleep
-hyaluronic acid
-cleaning,organizing, redecorating
-getting my new lip gloss in the mail yesterday
-free cocktails
-having the next month booked up with work as well
-faith
-pronoia
-staying positive
-art
-creativity
-confirming an exciting event today
-wearing slides
-fashion
-moving slowly
-rest
-feeling confident
-being smart
-how toned and tight and smooth my backside is becoming
-my phone
-the internet
-my laptop
-peaceful sounds
-mh picking me up from my job yesterday
-shopping
-newness
-connection

buttercup
30th March 2019, 07:46 PM
-D calling me yesterday and asking if we are still on for monday and telling me he figured out a plan for us and when i asked if it was good or bad, he said it was good and what i wanted. been elated ever since yet nervous. he seems like he's been relying on the last week for his happiness.
-that court case will finally be done with monday
-the romantic things D says and does
-how masculine D is
-hard seltzers
-the smell of roses
-coffee
-iced almond milk lattes
-marbled cookie brownies
-that i worked a lot in march
-taking a hydrocodone today
-blankets
-seeing my feral cats today, and how cute it is when E cat follows me around the little belly rolling L cat starts doing when MH's car pulls up. I love them so much.
-being a very understanding and accepting person
-smiling
-feeling good
-my creativity
-being smart
-beauty
-my accomplishments
-being one of the beautiful people
-ideas
-physical exercise
-MH's kindness
-the internet
-my phone
-compliments
-appreciation
-my kiehl's ashwagandha face mist
-makeup
-sleep
-my fresh sugar dream advanced lip treatment
-my hulu subscription
-cash app
-faith
-prayer
-pronoia
-meditation
-positive mindset

buttercup
2nd April 2019, 07:39 PM
-case finally being dismissed. :) lawyer said J requested i pay his lawyer fees i said no and it never even went to the judge.
-finally being able to move forward and knowing i won this
-everyone who supported me and said congratulations
-D meeting me at the courthouse and taking me to his secret place and telling me he wants to be with me and even talking things far in the future like forever
-how caring and sweet D can be. Like when we were discussing an insecurity of mine and something he did before and why it bothers me and started crying and he grabbed my hand and made me look him in the eye and said he was sorry and that was his mistake. Also, how he met me at the courthouse after court. It was perfect. Surreal. One chapter ending, another beginning.
-hot tea
-being strong against the harassment and bullying that happened to me last night when i told a guy i was friends with i was no longer single. he cussed me out, said creepy things, went on one social media calling me ugly on my pics and on another kept posting i was a freak and then from a fake profile called me a ♥♥♥♥ and threatened me. i was crying in the morning and my heart hurts that someone would want to hurt me like that.
-that MH called him last night and told him to leave me alone
-sleep
-getting psychiatrist to prescribe me a new antidepressant since i feel i've been being told by my higher self that it's time to swiitch
-taking an extra lorazapam after getting a feeling it might be ok and doctor saying he does give me extra even though it didn't make sense, and i'll see again today if that's true, being able to be more loose and take an extra when i wasnt feeling so great today was nice i feel way calmer.
-ibuprofen
-midol
-seeing my feral cats today
-my medications
-coffee
-warm showers
-sunshine
-socks
-making my next appt for my lip injections
-seeing a cute card that seemed perfect for D's upcoming birthday and buying it for him
-buying a card i thought was perfect to send to my legal advocate as a thank you
-buying a cute shirt from one of my favorite shops
-sending more cat food to my mom for her cats(my cats too, still)
-having great cheekbones
-sweet things D says sometimes..little moments like saying "i care about you" while looking at me when i was talking about everyone being happy for me with the court thing and how it meant a lot because i usually feel like no one cares about me.
-music
-art
-all the walking around the city me and D last night, the views of the secret place we looked at, the pact we made, sitting by the water and talking
-learning so much more about D in the last week or so
-iced lattes
-my gray belted jacket
-people who help animals
-my sense of style
-being a romantic
-my feminity
-my cozy funky print purple pants
-my prada slides
-my pink prada sunglasses
-my sophistication
-being good at writing
-my goals
-deciding i want to make some changes in how im doing my finances
-sending more money to my saks card today and adding a bit to my savings and overdraft protection
-getting checks in the mail yesterday
-feeling happiness yesterday
-D's natural dominance
-my skincare products
-flowers
-sharing my stories
-being a genuine person
-my accomplishments
-that i've lived fully
-space and detachment
-plants
-smiling
-MH's wife asking if i want vitamins yesterday. It's the first time in awhile she asked me for anything. And her being happy too that my case is dismissed.
-shopping
-yoga
-face yoga/face massage
-inspiration

buttercup
5th April 2019, 03:30 PM
-standing up for myself
-my check for my rent coming in today
-coffee
-sleep
-being considerate
-strawberry waffles
-so far the new antidepressant working well
-blankets
-getting my new serum in the mail
-my charisma
-skipping dinners for about 4 days in a row
-reading my favorite supermodel also does intermittment fasting
-music
-the face tan water i've been using
-donating money to world wildlife federation today
-my face starting to look better
-my creativity
-entertainment
-lifting myself out of the dark spell
-smiling
-showers
-having great cheekbones
-my style
-being a nonconconformist
-being smart
-my sunflower balcony doormat
-D calling me babe for the first time yesterday
-my gucci purse
-being talented
-plants
-cozy socks
-my weight dropping down
-being productive
-making efforts
-having dreams still
-kind and supportive people
-creativity
-art
-feeling my feelings
-water
-diet dr.pepper
-finding vanilla ghee at the store i worked at yesterday
-getting my eyebrows threaded
-rest
-trees
-shapes
-having beauty
-my femininity
-what i can offer to the world
-healthy digestion
-being a thoughtful person
-greenery
-growing as a person

buttercup
8th April 2019, 04:47 AM
-staying calm and collected
-being productive
-the romantic moments D and I have shared thus far and realizing wow, he is not leaving here like the big obstacle in december, then in March. He's here. He's staying in this city. It feels good realizing that.
-how gorgeous D is
-that there is no going back with me and D now
-D calling me in the morning
-my beauty
-iced almond lattes
-compliments
-starting to feel sexier again
-weight going down
-having healthy teeth
-my style
-my thoughtfulness
-my cheekbones
-my kind heart
-burning incense
-shopping
-my hulu subscription
-drinking my apple cider vinegar detox drink today
-entertainment
-music
-spicy food
-blankets
-my pink prada sunglasses
-naps
-staying strong
-my black and rose colored nike shoes
-having a tight backside
-smiling
-working for cool products
-MH giving me a ride to work today
-my food card re-loading today and picking up a few groceries
-getting a cute pop-up card for my friends birthday yesterday
-design
-art
-flowers
-plants
-masculinity
-my humidifier/diffuser
-my new heart socks
-the warm sunny weather yesterday.
-cats
-being smart
-warm showers
-water
-touch
-yoga
-physical exercise
-self nourishment
-makeup
-peaceful sounds
-beautiful skies
-fun and cool new experiences
-colors

buttercup
11th April 2019, 01:47 AM
-staying strong and not answering his calls, even if i'm not sure that was the right thing to do though it felt like what else could i do
-that he did try calling all those times
-shopping
-sleeping
-thinking i might give up diet soda
-that fantastic vegan cafe MH found and took me to yesterday
-that yesterday was a good day
-the sunshine and great weather yesterday
-getting all the job stuff i had to get done yesterday
-getting my lip injections yesterday
-MH cash-apping me money yesterday
-music
-fashion
-getting the money i was shorted and 2 checks i was owed
-getting refunded on an uber ride
-getting $5 uber credit from how often i use uber
-having a nice, curvy tight bottom
-my eyes looking younger when i wear half as much makeup
-yoga
-going to my favorite neighborhood in my city yesterday
-being friendly
-being charismatic
-seeing some of my feral cats today.
-getting my lorazapam yesterday when i was afraid i would have to go a few days without
-everything in the daytime seeming to work out really well for me yesterday
-doing more of the stuff i used to do again before my ptsd got worse from J stuff
-compliments
-my vulnerability
-my professionalism
-my charisma
-my kindness
-finding the perfect gift bag and tissue paper for D's gift yesterday
-peaceful sounds
-my sense of style
-water
-cleaning and decluttering
-meditating
-journaling today
-reading more of my book "the universe has your back" yesterday at the coffee shop
-having nice hair
-the internet
-my sexiness
-taking actions to create movement in my life
-my hyaluronic lip moisturizer
-my coolness
-the awesome life experiences that have helped me to develop some self worth, and things to fall back on and remember when feeling down
-my authenticity
-my intelligence
-colors
-romance
-smiling
-buying new pants i can wear to jobs today
-all the jobs i had the last week
-doing laundry and getting caught up on it
-appreciation

buttercup
12th April 2019, 03:14 AM
-talking to D, finally. He filled me in on what he was up to, and said please don't go away and said to stay on the phone longer. i said happy birthday again and hung up. It was after he tried explaining himself about the other day. I just couldn't.
-that when I told D I needed him after MH was being a jerk, he called me right away twice. At the end of the conversation, in a low voice it almost sounded like he almost said he loved me. i swear it sounded like i l..
-that D let me get away with his breaking one of his rules due to how upset i've been.
-my new lips from my lip injections
-naps
-my hyaluronic lip moisturizer
-that 2 part of my gift for D came in the mail today
-that i was able to wish D a happy bday on his facebook the way he set up his settings
-how much D and I have in common
-that my feelings for D keep growing in a deeper way.
-my gucci t-shirt
-my jaguar necklace
-being creative
-being productive
-meditation
-night skies
-my sense of style
-fashion
-having beautiful eyes
-my feral cats
-hard seltzer
-my ativan
-my medications
-working towards finding more goals to push me forward more
-cleaning, redecorating, and decluttering
-my thoughtfulness
-greenery
-booking more jobs today
-buying more vitamins today
-my prada socks
-blankets
-sweaters
-the goose i seen today in front of therapy and conversed with
-my femininity
-my child-like side
-being a loving person
-my hulu subscription
-being a nonconformist
-physical exercise
-peaceful sounds
-cuteness
-smiling
-feeling good
-pleasant memories
-my intelligence

buttercup
17th April 2019, 04:27 PM
-the sun peeking out just now
-support
-vanilla ghee
-yoga pants
-coffee
-my medications
-pills that calm me down
-getting some sun yesterday and lounging
-my style
-my leopard print coat
-cuteness
-telling the landlord about the debit card mishap
-strawberry waffles
-my creativity
-eating cleaner
-vegan food
-cutting down dramatically on the pizza this month
-shapes
-laying down
-being productive
-my hair color
-entertainment
-my hulu subscription
-my caring heart
-having a great landlord
-calming myself down
-trying to stay present
-having a lot of jobs this month
-my laptop
-flowers
-cats
-plants
-my femininity
-being smart
-pretty things
-water
-showers
-reflection
-rest
-fashion
-how much D shows he doesnt want me to let him go underneath his anger mood swings and bullying
-yoga

buttercup
19th April 2019, 07:32 PM
-crying it out. makes me feel alive at least.
-the thought, love and care I put into D's gifts
-that D picked up his gifts and said he would look at them slowly when he got home
-a cute pic i can post on social media of one of them that i think is cute
-sweaters and hoodies
-blankets and pillows
-anxiety medications
-ibuprofen
-coffee
-the sun coming out
-D answering the phone right away this morning and being sweet and saying he will talk to me tonight
-my lip injections
-my hair color
-getting some inspiration from D about where to take my life direction
-having beautiful eyes
-having a unique beauty
-green grass
-water
-my skincare products
-my account getting higher
-paying my comcast bill today
-my new black work leggings that arrived the other day. These ones are thicker which i like
-face massage/face yoga
-cleaning the house a lot yesterday
-cats
-my sense of style
-music
-makeup
-the flowers i bought for myself yesterday
-getting cash credit after an uber driver was rude to me
-the color green
-humor and laughing at funny things
-acquintances to text
-that guy B i met in September who liked me texting me
-getting a pill from MH to calm down today
-reflecting on the weirdness of the day
-my cuteness
-compliments
-D saying he will talk to me tomorrow tonight
-pictures
-my creativity
-MH's wife offering me to crash at their place-
-MH staying with me until power went back on after we left their house to see if power was back on yet
-doing my job tonight
-getting some inspiration and direction today
-my nike rose colored and black shoes
-standing up for the girl at the grocery store when people were getting cranky and rude about waiting
-knowing cool people
-MH and I ordering a pizza tonight
-connection
-learning people
-being friendly
-my charisma
-buying a beauty magazine today at the grocery store, new razors and mouthwash
-being an interesting person myself
-my flowers
-being of a higher vibe then i was over the fall and winter
-sunshine
-greenery
-beauty
-being an honest person
-my beauty
-how much i'm growing as a person
-knowing directions a teeny bit now
-seeing my feral cats today
-cuteness
-my jaguar necklace

buttercup
23rd April 2019, 01:33 AM
-talking to D today, and how baby smooth he sounded this time and reassuring and realizing he was calling all those times today for concern about me not to yell at me or ask me any questions and he even seemed to know me well in that moment
-hydrocodone
-potatoes
-lattes
-the rent check clearing
-working for a vodka today
-cash app
-being productive
-mind clarity and deciding to be myself and post what pictures i wanted on social media, the way i wanted
-my hulu subscription
-the beautiful weather
-the wind
-stain remover
-my pink asos socks
-my gucci floral slides
-nightskies
-compliments
-sunshine
-hard seltzers
-my face thinning out
-my beautiful hair color
-beauty
-my beauty
-the generosity in people's hearts
-felines
-my lips
-romance
-my phone
-my medications
-getting more groceries today
-having a rheumatologist appt tomorrow
-that D is staying in my city, which despite it all is the best thing i wanted most of all back when we first ended in winter
-getting my business phone call done
-playfulness
-makeup
-my eyes
-that i manifested getting together with D. I don't even know if i remember setting the intention. it had to have been years ago. and when it happened, it was so surreal.
-water
-showers
-ghee butter
-lights

buttercup
1st May 2019, 03:12 AM
-getting all my recaps in
-water
-paying a bigger chunk to my saks card
-getting over my fear and talking to D today
-reassurance from D and believing it and that he is staying here, and him and his ex are over
-shopping
-getting paid
-my lips
-a hydrocodone to calm me down
-seeing my feral cats today
-my beauty
-having a nice body
-figuring D out a little and sending him some messages i thought would be helpful
-how young looking i am
-fashion
-coffee
-feeling a little more "together" about things
-that now no matter what at least D is not with his ex and it's because of me, he's staying in this city, and we talk on the phone regularly now
-cute little innocent signs of how much D likes me
-cuteness
-yoga pants
-being considered attractive by others
-physical exercise
-deciding to give up diet soda
-colors
-my new succulent face mist
-sleep
-greenery
-wellness
-hard seltzers
-my thoughtfulness
-updating my resume
-taking others input into reflection
-laughing
-humor
-nice messages
-flowers
-all my jobs
-buying the domain i bought to try something out career-wise
-being talented
-getting the bike lock i was saving up
-a little movement coming into my life this month
-having an appointment with a new psychiatrist this week
-my hulu subscription
-being unique
-the internet
-my apartment
-being a nice person
-my phone
-hot guys
-manifesting hot guys into my life
-finding ways to put things on social media to express the way i want to
-adding some playfulness to my apartment with some nintendo mario wall decals
-my taste in things
-doing a spiritual grounding intention setting exercise the order day
-picking up a copy of newbeauty magazine for leisure reading the other day
-inspiration
-a project inspired by D i am working on with my artist i did another fashion illustration project with that turned out amazing a few years ago
-peaceful sounds
-chocolate
-photography
-beautiful imagery
-the sound of rain
-inner confidence
-self acceptance
-inner peace
-art
-pillows
-glamour
-deciding i need to go visit my mom's and brother's cat soon
-my strength
-stretches
-socks
-self reassurances
-my beauty products
-calmness
-yoga pants
-sweaters
-having great cheekbones
-creativity
-newness

buttercup
3rd May 2019, 01:17 AM
-the pharmacy telling me my ativan will be ready tomorrow
-getting angry about something with D and calling him up and yelling him and telling him how i really feel which ended up in me insulting and "bullying" him. which i feel like i needed to do after all he did to me. afterwards,i felt a release and couldn't stop smiling.
-sleeping last night after praying and affirming i would. after feeling way off and a bad breakdown yesterday, and some very symbolic nightmares this morning it seems like my inner demons wanted to come out to play. i was still shaking at 8 am and my brain felt funky and weird let myself sleep til 11 am and then was no longer shaking and my brain felt normal. this was from 3 days of not having my medication and i decided to embrace my pain a little and am debating trying to taper off the medication.
-self-nourishment
-m's husband talking to me on the phone when i had my bad breakdown yesterday
-people considering me attractive
-compliments
-cleaning
-having money
-shopping
-colors
-beauty
-being friendly to others
-cuteness
-uber
-laughing at life
-my hulu membership
-food
-showers
-having a lot of work this weekend
-focusing on the bigger pictures goals, and changes to make
-sunsets
-my beauty
-looking young
-looking thinner today
-taking control of my spiral down by trying to control my thoughts and praying
-getting prescribed a weight loss medication
-music
-art
-how beautiful my eyes are
-day 1 of giving up diet soda
-buying a new black shirt for work
-the free stuff i get from work
-buying my favorite candies from my favorite candy boutique
-getting the versace perfume i treated myself to in the mail

buttercup
9th May 2019, 03:48 AM
-nourishment
-feeling sane
-soup
-sending my mom flowers for mothers day
-getting a pic of my brother in a text from my mom after telling my mom and dad to wish him happy birthday
-getting more recaps done
-odd compliments that strike a chord. someone who has an intense crush on me said he worships a god of chaos and that that's what i remind him of.
-my classy gray jacket
-going for walks
-space
-my weight loss medication i'm on
-having beautiful eyes
-staying calm and confident all will work out
-my body starting to look slimmer
-my gucci t-shirt
-my jaguar t-shirt
-shopping
-buying a red string of fate couples bracelet off etsy after having an intuition this morning to give to D sometime this month before he leaves for his tour
-my sense of style
-makeup
-blankets
-face massage
-water
-my new succulent face mist
-being talented
-being friendly
-peaceful sounds
-having nice hair
-compliments
-choosing to be in control of my reality
-feeling strong
-joining a new app that gives you cash back on purchases you make

buttercup
12th May 2019, 05:44 AM
-hope
-inspiration
-going towards what feels good
-positive thoughts
-my moods being more stable
-squats
-getting my new incense and doing 2 energy meditations with it so far
-trying to stay away from drama
-staying calm about life
-sleep
-good food
-samples
-friendly people
-my hair color being touched up
-my eyebrows being threaded
-being considered smart
-flattery
-having beautiful eyes
-my sense of style
-getting my new bikini in the mail
-getting my candy package from my favorite candy boutique in the mail
-getting lingerie i ordered in the mail
-getting a teddy bear i wanted in the mail
-flowers
-cuteness
-new experiences
-opportunities
-the new retinol i've been using
-iced lattes
-my medications
-my hulu subscription
-makeup and beauty products
-plants and greenery
-my beauty
-sweaters
-blankets
-savoring
-water
-hard seltzers
-getting my mom flowers for mothers day
-having giving up diet soda
-art
-design
-my talent and skills
-safety
-being productive
-getting another recap in
-decluttering
-being kind and helpful
-entering some cat pictures in a cat calendar contest

buttercup
16th May 2019, 03:23 PM
-how clean my slides looked when i washed them
-getting J to do my dishes the other night, which was very sweet and saved me a lot of time to do my other cleaning
-giving D his bday gift i didnt give him yet and the gift my intuition told me to get him and getting really creative with it and seeing him yesterday finally. it was really hard. he was sweet in some ways. not sweet at all in others. but i did what i felt like i wanted to do. and again at least he's staying in my city, and we did have something. even if he acts like i'm nothing to him now and incredibly mean to me now.
-my uber driver being very nice to me yesterday and handing me tissues and reassuring me i'm very beautiful and will find someone on the way home.
-J venmo-ing me $20 so i could get starbucks postmate-d to me when m's husband had no time to get it for me and had no non dairy creamer at his house yesterday
-my succulent face mist
-finding vanilla ghee at the grocery store near me
-sleep
-entering some of my feral cats in a cat calendar contest
-buying some lingerie from a high end label i like
-lounging in the sun yesterday
-my medications
-shopping
-deciding to schedule my dates for nyfw and that being the best deal for airfare
-compliments
-makeup
-the new retinol i've been using and how gentle it is and inexpensive
-beauty
-cuteness
-cats
-getting a draft done for the book i'm going to be in
-having goals
-yoga
-my hulu subscription
-my pink prada sunglasses
-my beauty
-vegan food
-pleasant memories
-my heart's desires
-taking positive actions
-trees
-greenery
-sky-gazing
-having beautiful eyes
-art
-feeling calmer about the buyers looking at the apartment
-my intellect
-staying motivated
-getting an even better dealing after my internet provider tried to hike up my internet price by twice as much
-music
-venmo
-cashapp
-strawberry waffles
-coffee
-colors
-walking
-my thoughtfulness
-letting myself feel my feelings
-my ambition
-spirituality

buttercup
22nd May 2019, 02:17 AM
-being flirted with
-compliments
-things working out for me
-indian food
-ghee butter
-sweaters
-my dignity
-my orchid coming today
-seeing my feral cats today
-fasting the other day and all of day time today
-having nice curves
-stretches
-having nice hair
-people who help me
-being kind to others
-pictures
-going to sculpture park the other day
-buying more of the hyaluronic lip plumper im almost out of
-the heater in my living room
-chocolate cake
-making an appointment for cellupulse at the end of the month
-quitting one of the agencies i'm with, or at least taking a break from them and getting an interview tommorow with a new one
-cuteness
-goals
-feeling ambitious
-laughing at life
-the book i'm reading and how good it is already
-my succulent skin mist
-my beauty
-my youth
-looking like a celebrity
-people who help me to understand myself and who seem to get me
-having healthy teeth
-my medications
-sleep
-touch
-being nice
-serendipity
-working on myself
-how much i've grown as a person in the last 3 years
-fashion and shopping
-venmo and cashapp
-hard seltzers
-water
-trying new things
-greenery and the color green
-inspiring people
-positive people
-working hard on healing, letting go, and becoming a new me

buttercup
24th May 2019, 03:58 AM
-working today
-compliments
-people who build you up
-my ex l who has resurfaced
-my friend G who has been funny lately
-staying a little longer at my job today and making a little more effort
-my medications
-my orchid
-self reassurances
-shopping
-venmo and cashapp
-forgiveness
-nice weather today
-having money in my account
-getting my uber refunded
-apple cider vinegar detox drink
-fasting
-aloe vera detox drink
-getting my jaguar necklace cleaned
-my chalices
-healing
-art
-opportunities
-having great hair
-my hulu subscription
-feeling a little more directed lately
-having money
-going for a bike ride yesterday
-going sun lounging yesterday
-yoga
-goals
-support from others
-meeting new people and making new friends
-moving forward
-bettering myself
-my phone
-makeup
-becoming more self sufficient
-great design
-touch
-showers
-sleep
-delivery services
-water
-felines
-being kind
-being helpful
-inspiration
-good books
-cleaning and decluttering
-learning more about myself
-my taste in things
-evolving as a person
-plants
-colors
-m's husband and m being nice to me
-being able to wear slides today
-buying some certificates for airbrush tans today

buttercup
28th May 2019, 07:36 PM
-getting my late fees removed
-finishing recaps for one agency
-pulling it together and staying strong
-music
-water
-feeling my feelings
-cleaning and decluttering
-fasting
-losing weight
-my phone
-compliments
-my femininity
-flowers
-plants
-colors
-vibrancy
-my medications
-coffee
-chocolate
-kindness
-the hypnosis recording i listened to other day and today
-my energy mediation i did last night
-yoga
-techno music
-strengthening my body
-laughing
-silliness
-cat cuddless
-connections with other souls
-having great taste
-cuteness
-getting my baby aspirin medication figured out at the pharmacy
-colors
-ambition
-my life experiences that shaped me to be someone who has culture and is interesting and accomplished
-venmo and cashapp
-sunshine
-my intelligence
-mobile apps
-social media
-my gucci purse
-the avant garde
-warm showers
-evolving as a person
-my eyesight and vision
-comfort
-hope
-wanting positivity
-peaceful sounds

buttercup
6th June 2019, 07:29 AM
-the air conditioner
-J giving me money to buy new shoes
-my beautiful orchid
-flowers and plants
-compliments
-beautiful photos of me
-my authenticity
-my intelligence
-having a dream i was thin
-booking my first hotel for my nyc trip
-m being nice to me
-getting a massage today
-beautiful weather today
-beautiful landscapes
-venmo
-fashion
-working on fixing things lately-with white special markers, mr.clean magic erasers, special glues, shoe goos and more
-being in a disinfecting, cleaning phase as well lately
-decluttering and re-organizing
-shopping
-getting my dad a cool fathers day card
-shopping
-physical exercise
-makeup
-sleep
-help
-cuteness
-my medications
-aloe vera
-my hulu subscription
-recovering
-my phone
-working a lot
-building up my savings
-getting a cellupulse treatment done the other day
-smiling
-my medications
-learning
-inspiration
-kindness
-positive changes
-my femininity
-my child-like side

buttercup
8th June 2019, 04:40 AM
-hummus
-spices
-vegan food
-deciding to no longer be afraid of my bully
-not taking a nap today
-going for a nice healthy walk today
-cleaning my bathtub today
-the new tangerine flavor of mike's hard lemonade
-seeing one of my clients is working with an animal welfare organization and how awesome that is
-help
-compliments
-having nice bone structure
-finding out one of the bigger local grocery chains took a line of products off the shelves after a factory farming abuse video became exposed
-self reassurances and putting pieces together
-lip gloss
-makeup
-physical exercise
-beautiful weather
-flowers
-coloring my hair today
-my medications
-buying new bath towels
-my hulu subscription
-learning
-the friendly interaction i had with the cute little dog on my walk today
-having glowy skin
-my femininity
-my child-like side
-having beautiful eyes
-having nice curves
-meditating
-my kindness
-setting intentions
-prayer
-relaxation
-self nourishment
-great deals

buttercup
11th June 2019, 09:55 PM
-kindness in others
-being productive and motivated
-sleeping in my bed
-getting my two new pairs of shoes
-compliments
-posting a new flattering photo of myself on social media
-support from others
-being considered attractive by others
-having a nice curve to my backside
-my beautiful new soft, mint green towels
-the color green
-cats
-sun lounging
-getting hired for a special event
-drinking my aloe vera drink today
-booking my hotel for 2nd day in nyc and what a nice one it is
-physical exercise
-my creativity
-my unique personality
-more confirmation today and pieces put together and wink from the universe that D is still in my city living here like he said he would be
-shopping
-fashion
-my intelligence
-the fashion industry
-being considered for a fashion casting
-my taste in things and sense of style
-feeling like i am hearing more from my higher self and feeling a little more directed
-vibrancy
-my beautiful purple orchid
-sportsbras
-the internet
-laughing
-feeling my feelings
-M's wife saying she will put $50 in my account today
-my medications
-having beautiful eyes
-reflection
-bike riding
-going for walks
-my heart's desires
-topamax because i think it's stabilizing my mood's a little
-great deals
-beauty
-makeup
-recovering
-beautiful things
-how gorgeous and healthy my hair is
-smiling
-peaceful music
-ideas
-surrender
-peace
-vegan food
-potatoes
-buying spinach the other day to try and add more greens to my diet
-art
-positive news stories
-animal lovers and the world slowly evolving to become kinder to animals
-plants
-my phone
-trying to take more actions
-my ambitions and being a dreamy type
-going swimming the other day
-having plans to go swimming this week
-my hulu subscription
-beautiful weather
-night skies
-friendly people and being friendly to others
-setting intentions
-evolving as a person
-liking my new hair color
-working on my healing and self-improvement
-seeing really cool fashion ads that are innovative and inspiring and break barriers and make me smile and even shock me
-the avant-garde
-pronoia
-calmness
-self reassurances
-prayer

buttercup
14th June 2019, 04:10 AM
-my laptop
-adding healthy things to my diet such as spinach to my sandwiches and buying bananas
-spicy food
-knowing myself and not letting silly petty comeback insults get to me
-my new gucci and moschino shoes
-my gucci t-shirt
-lattes
-crullers
-getting my eyebrows threaded for free because of my punch card
-pronoia
-yoga
-trusting life to take care of me
-going to the store and picking up some things i need
-hanging out with a friend i hadn't seen in a awhile and seeing his beautiful house and being social and drinking wine and smoking weed and catching up and how nice that was
-art
-cleaning my bathroom sink
-throwing out my yoga mat and buying a new one online
-learning
-my hulu subscription
-seeing my feral cats today
-mom cat walking on my back today
-beauty
-support from others
-excitement about upcoming business trip
-my strength
-my sense of style
-shopping
-my savings getting built up a little bit again
-my renewed interest in cleaning/fixing and decluttering lately
-beautiful nature scenes
-inspiration
-fun
-plants
-flowers
-getting confirmed for a special event this week
-having beautiful hair
-reaching enough to cash out of the cashback app i've been using
-smiling
-blankets
-trying to sleep in my bed more often
-my child-like side
-kindness and remembering that's what i want to be
-physical exercise
-evolving as a person
-dental floss
-sweaters
-having nice curves
-colors
-my beauty
-yoga pants
-being helpful
-being kind

buttercup
17th June 2019, 01:57 AM
-getting all my lodging for my upcoming business trip booked
-buying a new shower curtain with an new boho vibe with after pay
-being productive today and getting some good work pics
-approval from others
-working my first special event of the year yesterday and being told by my co-worker it's been a slow start for special events this year and that this is the first one in my city
-my hulu subscription
-seeing how soda pop consumption makes my clothes tighter quicker when i have more then about a can or 12 ounces a day
-my beauty
-water
-physical exercise
-being called baby
-help from others
-fashion
-shopping
-almond milk lattes
-crullers
-how pouty my lips look sometimes from my lip injections
-makeup
-my hair
-support from others
-starting to look for new places to live
-my medications
-my strength
-my foot healing
-my pink and black nike shoes
-the internet
-my phone
-serendipity
-pleasant memories
-being kind
-colors
-sunshine
-the smell of rain
-sleeping in my bed
-laughing
-flowers
-plants
-sculptures
-art
-animals
-animal lovers
-blankets
-self-nourishment
-recovery
-having a little more clarity
-being more patient with myself
-working on letting go of time
-my gucci purse
-self improvement
-feeling my feelings

buttercup
19th June 2019, 03:22 AM
-the psychiatrist going well today
-air conditioning
-finishing the bathroom sink
-having all my lodging booked for my upcoming business trip
-scalp massages
-sun lounging today
-telling the receptionist today i didn't run out of my anxiety meds this time and how happy he was for me
-nice weather today
-having beautiful hair
-my beautiful orchid
-vegan food
-almond milk lattes
-sleep
-catching up on some reading today
-pictures
-art
-greenery
-trees
-going for walks
-unplugging from my phone and just enjoying silence and nature
-cats
-getting my birthday cake ordered
-ideas
-great music
-having beautiful lips
-blankets
-decluttering and reorganizing
-picking up some stuff from the store today
-looking at the outside of an apartment i might go to a viewing for
-serendipity
-self nourishment
-being friendly
-loving myself
-being smart
-my hulu subscription
-building up my savings and actually having a little bit in there again
-having nice cheekbones
-peace
-fun
-a hot guy asking me out while out on my walk yesterday
-water
-feeling motivated
-doing laundry
-getting that time of the month
-shapes
-my child-like side
-looking young
-physical exercise
-spiritual nourishment
-the internet
-my phone
-connection
-pleasant memories
-my gucci floral slides
-the love in my heart
-mr. clean magic eraser

buttercup
23rd June 2019, 02:45 AM
-flowers
-getting my security deposit back in full and finding out now i may not be moving after all right now
-getting more on-premise and special events again
-moving forward more again and recovering more
-having all my lodging covered for my trip in september
-flowers
-plants
-watching my tv show i like on hulu
-blankets
-air conditioning
-cleaning and decluttering
-m giving me $50 today
-getting booked for some last minute events for tommorow
-having a lot of money coming in for july
-my irish beauty
-my youthful looks
-getting some of my favorite chocolates in the mail
-cleaning and decluttering the bathroom
-ordering an adorable dkny marble and gold wastebasket since it seemed time for a new one
-sleeping in my bed more often lately
-almond milk lattes
-going for a nice walk today
-beautiful weather today
-J eating the healthy food i gave him and him saying he put me as his phone background
-newness
-mopping
-food
-compliments
-support
-having those who help me out
-venmo
-my favorite neighborhoods in my city
-bike riding
-style
-slides footwear
-doing some reading today
-pictures
-ice cold water
-my femininity
-motivation
-my medications
-cuteness
-being productive
-trying things different

buttercup
25th June 2019, 09:38 AM
-popsicles
-water
-coffee
-going for walks
-my lower body looking more toned
-the tv show i'v been watching on huly
-getting my meds early from the pharmacy
-practicing on the pole
-caring souls
-staying focused
-doing the work i wanted to do today
-colors
-plants
-sunshine
-greenery
-my beauty
-having nice lips
-having nice eyebrows
-stylish fashions
-cleaning and decluttering my home
-love
-cats
-buying some champagne i wanted to try for my upcoming birthday
-buying a new bathmat from a kawaii website
-mr. clean magic eraser
-my appetite shrinking
-romance
-pleasant memories
-hope
-connection
-inspiration
-help
-having beautiful hair
-doing an energy meditation yesterday
-blankets
-sleeping in my bed more often
-birds chirping
-great deals
-healing
-pictures
-goals
-physical exercise
-growing as a person
-self forgiveness
-appreciating my unique beauty
-things to look forward to
-my phone

buttercup
2nd July 2019, 04:51 AM
-getting makeup in the mail i ordered for my bday
-J finally letting me go after finally hurling some last insults at me
-getting my recaps in
-trusting all will work out
-getting booked for more special events and on premise work
-hydration
-water
-my beauty
-my weight going down
-my lower body getting tighter
-cats
-cuteness
-rest
-getting a pedicure and manicure and how much that made me feel better about myself
-my birthday candies i have
-how vibrant everything is in summer
-remembering the positives of J from last year, not the J i went to school with
-my tv show i've been watching on hulu
-enjoying my coffee by the nice fake waterfall stream area they have in the plaza and how relaxing it was
-scrubbing the feral cat water bowl clean today
-my majesty palm plant
-ativan
-yoga
-inspiration
-newness
-my kindness
-my thoughtfulness
-my babyface
-my unique look
-the new experiences i get to have as part of my job
-spending time in nice neighborhoods
-learning new things about people and that things aren't always as they seem
-having great cheekbones
-prayer
-setting intentions
-spirituality
-seeing through people's b.s
-not having to work tomorrow
-checking myself and deciding i will better myself
-hyaluronic acid
-things to look forward to
-seeing how creative people are

buttercup
9th July 2019, 12:38 AM
-finally starting to get this house really clean
-M's wife's friend D taking me out for my b-day last night and giving me a really nice birthday card that was an animal advocate card of chimps that had used art therapy to heal and him saying he had bought his last hallmark card and how much that had moved my heart.
-M's friend getting me a little gift and having a vintage bike that would actually be perfect for me that i decided to accept that's he had in the garage for years that's his wife's that she no longer uses
-new experences
-people getting to know you
-the birthday cards m and her husband got me
-reassurances
-my beauty
-the weather cooling off a bit
-getting more on premise and special event work
-my green happy alien looking birthday balloon i got
-ordering a tropical balloon bouquet i wanted
-people who are kind to me and take my side
-ativan
-great music
-new experiences
-healing
-learning
-my esthethician saying i am so beautiful and special and that everyone at the office sees it and says so, too. little things like that make me feel good.
-being able to work some cool events and do some cool things and have unique experiences
-the birthday candy i bought myself recently and eating some the night i came home from getting fired from the event and was upset
-my goals
-being unique
-things to look forward to
-fashion
-shopping
-setting intentions
-being beautiful
-trees
-plants
-coffee
-my medications
-cats
-entertainment
-working hard and smart to improve things that are bothering me
-my beautiful palm tree shower curtain
-that i'll be finished with the bathroom by tonight and can start the hallways
-my appreciation for beauty
-drinking apple cider vinegar with water today
-having beautiful eyes
-having great curves
-having amazing hair
-photo editing apps
-my toe nails and the beautiful blue/green turquoise color they are
-water
-ceramides and how much they've seemed to change my skin
-prayer
-being a nice person
-being intelligent
-beauty
-newness
-taking deep cleansing breaths
-air conditioning
-blankets
-adding extra money to my saks bill
-lipgloss
-taking things one step at a time
-pronoia
-having faith
-having great cheekbones
-being able to wake up tommorow on my birthday in a clean apartment
-self forgiveness
-ideas
-compliments
-beautiful things
-models
-my stress levels going down
-colors

buttercup
11th July 2019, 02:56 AM
-calming down a bit from all the hell i've been through the last days
-people who have been there for me
-healthy digestion
-B being there for me
-getting a police report filed
-trusting God that the bad is taking me to a better place
-my flowers still looking nice
-police officers
-my plan to possibly move out of my city and to nyc
-water
-ceramides
-crying and grieving
-the bathroom being cleaning and working on the hallway leading to the kitchen
-going through which shoes to keep today
-maintaining keeping apartment clean today
-cancelling work because i was too sad
-buying a card for one of those people who believing in me since my early days
-coffee
-buying magnets for my animal advoacy project i started using T cat's image
-buying cute silver western boots. hopefully they fit,i had to buy a half size smaller.
-donating to my favorite animal charity
-knowing i have to become a new me now after all this pain that's gone on
-ordering new business cards
-M's husband calling me after work to wish me happy birthday and listening to me talk about my horrible day
-my cute alien balloon. not sure if it's actually an alien but it's a round smiley face that's green and it makes me happy.
-the air conditioner
-my creativity
-veuve clicquot champagne
-my creativity
-the little things that make me happy
-being a kind person
-manifesting my heart's desires
-having great cheekbones
-updating my resume
-adding a signature to my gmail
-compliments
-my beautiful mint green dkny towels
-my phone
-photo editing apps
-my medications
-entertainment
-sleep
-inspiration
-that i'm getting lip injections soon and putting just about almost all the money i need on the card for it so i can make the appt in a day or so
-great deals
-laughter
-trying to be productive

buttercup
13th July 2019, 07:27 PM
-pulling it together little by little
-doing some mad shopping yesterday, way more then i probably should have
-realizing i had some more money, cash from my birthday i can deposit to make my bank account healthier
-the nerd makeup compact i've been wanting coming back in stock yesterday
-my tropical bouquet
-warning my neighbors about the bully who's been stalking me and showing him his picture and finding out more creepy info because him and other neighbors have seen him and his car before in front of the house
-water
-aloe vera supplement
-youtube entertainment i've been watching
-cats
-ceramides
-compliments
-reassurances
-the agency that fired me from my favorite clients putting me in their newsletter giving me a shoutout recognition from the same event that got me fired thus proving i wasn't in the wrong and it's all a money game
-getting better at keeping my apartment clean
-no longer taking my amlodopine
-my candies
-my medications
-coffee
-M saying her husband can bring me to work tonight
-sunshine
-intermittent fasting
-evolving and faster then certain lower vibe people who can't get over me
-spirituality
-having nice curves
-yoga
-having beautiful curves
-having a young face
-prayer
-pronoia
-my prada socks
-allowing myself to transform into a new me
-buying and designing new animal advocacy magnets with T cat's photo on them.
-donating to one of my favorite animal charitie's
-ordering new business cards with a new design
-plants
-newness
-losing weight
-my pedicure
-self forgiveness

buttercup
15th July 2019, 05:57 AM
-feeling like you and your shy friend B are starting to reconnect
-handling the third kick to the stomach that happened tonight with grace and seeing it as possibly a good thing and feeling even slightly prepared for it and buying a cat trap right away with my credit right away and asking to be reimbursed for it and seeing that now m's husband probably has to be cancel his agreement he had of cutting back on giving me rides with this kick to the stomach i was served and this might all just make my life more efficient
-finishing cleaning the first hallway closet
-working today
-working yesterday with that one girl who i thought was cool and inspiring months ago
-getting the magnet draft approved
-finally being off amlodopine
-my cute sheer pink heart socks
-rest and sleep
-my appetite having shrunk quite a bit this last week
-my phone
-iced lattes
-compliments
-yoga
-clorox wipes
-spending time with mom cat today
-being a warrior and not letting others bring me down
-my strength
-having beautiful, shiny, thick hair
-water
-ideas on what to do with my life and starting to pull it together
-listening to others
-updating my resume
-having my appt for my lip injections
-remembering how talented i am
-my creativity
-my style
-my intelligence
-taking out the window fans so i can use them more and the a.c less
-apple cider vinegar
-blankets
-the internet
-hyaluronic acid
-ceramides
-watching youtube and hulu
-entertainment
-inspiration
-looking young
-moisturizers
-my power
-my beauty
-having nice eyes
-having nice cheekbones
-flowers
-my femininity
-prayer
-being a nice person

buttercup
22nd July 2019, 06:44 AM
-going through hell and coming out of it feeling more free
-losing a friend but then realizing he wasn't really that great of a friend
-a new unexpected potential romantic love interest "M" who i never ever would've expected but after he fixed my last piece of jewelry we texted a few times, then i stopped, then i did again, then it seemed like he had missed it and it started to get heated and flirty
-another loss, which may actually benefit me anyways and was something i was prepared could happen one day. a transition in how we co-care take for the feral cats.
-my beauty
-getting my lip injections
-having beautiful eyes
-rest
-losing weight
-having beautiful hair
-getting some amazing new shopping purchases
-entertainment
-water
-vegan burritos
-physical exercise
-surrendering to life and coming out of the craziness stronger now
-learning new things
-evolving as a person
-having l cat over the other day
-people who support me
-the weather being cooler the other day
-feeling ready to evolve and for new things
-appetite shrinking quite a bit since stopping one of my meds
-face massage
-processing things
-my face tan water
-new opportunities
-ceramides vitamins
my hyaluronic acid lip gloss
-setting intentions
-compliments
-making changes

buttercup
26th July 2019, 04:44 AM
-music
-creativity
-people who help me and support me
-finally getting a budlight shirt for my job yesterday
-doing a bar job yesterday
-always finding the best shopping finds
-my beauty
-my eyes
-my lips
-having great curves
-compliments
-M having taken an interest in me
-my comeback that's soon to come
-having a babydoll face
-my mario collection candy that came in the mail today
-having great taste
-having a super easy time fasting and eating much more minimally since stopping one of my meds i had suspected that i never gave a fair shot of stopping since i went right back on it after stopping in the fall and my weight starting to drop a little
-my medications
-coffee
-being considered sexy
-my bully starting to be nicer
-getting through hell and starting to feel free
-the cute strawberry kitchen sponges i bought
-mopping and sweeping my kitchen floor and cleaning the stove
-having l cat over and being ready for h cat to be over
-my dad helping me get bully's real address by driving his house and giving me $40
-having the mattress in my living room now which is comfortable and makes me feel nice since it's coolest in this room
-the weather cooling off some
-people being nice to me
-pronoia and having faith
-free drinks
-kind people
-great deals
-meeting new people
-inspiration
-being talented
-my authenticity
-being smart
-being offered more jobs by another one of my agencies

buttercup
3rd August 2019, 05:52 AM
-my lip injections
-support from others
-how my skin looks with my airbrush tan
-deciding i want to become more eco-conscious
-interesting environmental articles
-cleaning and organizing my fridge
-going for walks
-trolling others and how funny it is and laughing
-my beauty
-being sexy
-getting a check in my account yesterday that covers my rent for the month
-having nice hair
-getting a good amount of jobs from one of my regular agencies these days which will help for next month's finances
-wearing my new cat bracelet i bought recently today
-hanging out with m's husband today after he helped me run an errand and going with him to run an errand then we went to lunch
-my bed
-ice cold water
-sunshine
-my fashion sense
-my strawberry kitchen sponges
-iced almond milk lattes
-being easy on myself
-my medications
-my gucci slides
-sleep
-rest
-having cool companies to work for
-having things to look forward to
-letting myself recover even if it's just slightly
-reflection
-my creativity
-entertainment to watch on youtube and hulu
-unique tastes
-remembering fun

buttercup
24th August 2019, 05:14 AM
-making headway with the cat breaking through the cat issue barrier. i may just have done it.
-fasting today
-being productive today
-coffee
-meditation
-sushine
-starting to heal
-my balcony
-ice cold water
-nyc trip being around the corner
-having an enjoyable conversation on the phone with J tonight
-sportsbras
-my bed
-cats
-releasing my anger
-burning my incense on the balcony this morning
-M saying he will fix my bathroom this fall
-having nice big chest
-having a nice curvy bottom
-being beautiful
-having a very young look and voice and mannerisms
-lip injections
-having a nice body
-having lived my dreams
-being smart
-handling some of the blows i've been dealt with well
-doing some spiritual writing check-ins
-physical exercise
-going for walks
-ceramides
-high current facials
-being female
-my femininity
-having work
-going to the pool
-buying a concert ticket to one of my favorite music artist's
-my authenticity
-being happy for other people
-my great taste in things
-buying a new microwave
-buying chic new ice cube trays
-organizing and decluttering and cleaning the kitchen
-pronoia
-my discover card
-adding more purple to my hair color tonight
-learning
-reflection
-healing
-having great hair
-candy
-fashion
-my medications
-clorox wipes

buttercup
28th August 2019, 05:20 AM
-money working out for me
-my ny contact being like my fairy godfather
-yoga
-slowly healing
-finally going on a date
-getting an ipl facial and the lady doing a really good job
-cats
-trees
-nature
-coffee
-my medications
-my creativity
-having opportunities open up for me
-ice cold water
-slowly moving forward with life
-breaking barriers
-seeing my mom's cats today
-having nice curves
-my beauty
-cleaning up my living room
-my goals
-m taking me to get my shoes repaired after the front got loose after my mom's dog was jumping on me a lot at her house
-my kindness
-yoga
-physical exercise
-naps
-my new microwave coming today
-new clothes i ordered coming today
-having beautiful healthy hair
-entertainment
-lip injections
-the internet
-ibuprofen
-donating $10 to a planting trees organization

buttercup
30th August 2019, 11:43 PM
-physical exercise
-getting things done
-getting a check and realizing i have more then enough to cover my rent so can relax about finances
-my neon green nails manicure i got at the spur of the moment the other day at the local salon
-making progress with my apartment
-my nyc contact who makes my life easier
-meditation
-buying some new plates in a black color to change aesthetics and merge with old aesthetic and throwing out some old things
-sleep and rest
-coffee
-cats
-happy news in the animal welfare/animal activism world
-animal lovers
-trees
-water
-fashion
-lip moisturizer
-my balcony and the beautiful view from the window in the living room
-fashion
-doing a spiritual check in writing after meditating
-lighting
-starting to feel better about myself again
-shopping
-mr.clean magic erasers
-learning
-connection
-colors
-being able to see
-being able to hear
-being able to feel
-having the new supplement client i enjoy working for

buttercup
5th September 2019, 10:43 PM
-nourishment
-having a lot of work booked with my healthy food agency for this month
-getting my chic new black plates in the mail
-encouragement
-sunshine
-vegan food
-water
-coffee
-my medications
-getting my chemical peel
-getting my manicure and pedicure
-getting my eyebrows threaded
-getting my ipl photofacial
-the amazing nyc opportunities have
-my nyc contact M and how helpful and supportive he has been
-my bully being gone
-doing some spiritual reflective check in writing on the past year and how much that lifted my mood
-laughing at life
-making progress with packing and cleaning
-pronoia
-newness
-trying new things
-manifesting my heart's desires
-my balcony and balcony view
-trees
-my appetite shrinking
-my accomplishments
-my laptop
-my apartment
-my cats
-my phone
-my healing and recovery
-beautiful things
-goals
-beautiful moments
-being kind-hearted
-my authenticity
-fashion and style
-being smart
-compliments on my personality
-cute life moments
-that my weight has slenderized compared to winter
-touching up my hair color yesterday
-having a young looking baby face
-transforming who i am
-mr.clean magic erasers
-my creativity
-having nice curves
-the smell of rain
-having a perfume that very closely resembles the smell of rain
-blankets
-relaxation
-ceramides
-my new kitchen stuff such as the black ice cube trays, strawberry sponges, mint green microwave, etc
-makeup
-smiling
-compliments
-learning
-my goals
-believing in myself

buttercup
17th September 2019, 12:29 AM
-not being sick anymore
-having fun and letting my impulsive side out at times
-being home now
-taking my vitamins and immunity shots
-sleeping a lot and taking a nice warm shower
-lentil soup
-looking so much younger then i am
-mimosas
-my louis vito keychain
-getting out of town for awhile and getting the nyc experience
-being physically beautiful
-attending some nyfw fashion shows
-my gucci handbag
-going to the beach
-getting some paparazzi pics taken of me
-having my own personal retoucher
-inspiration
-getting a lot of looks and great service at the gucci store in new york
-having great lips
-having beautiful white roses bought for me
-getting a michael kors shirt bought for me
-all the money put into my bank account by my manager
-being smart
-buying myself gucci sunglasses to cheer myself up today
-my rilakkuma teddy bear
-being smart
-being offered a trip to costa rica
-getting good work done on my kitchen
-seeing M and M care about me and were checking up on me while i was out of town
-seeing how good i can be with direction in new york
-trying new cocktails
-delicious food
-my sense of style
-my friend picking me up from the airport
-being talented
-stayed at a talented fashion photographer's place the last few days of my stay
-discovering new things
-healing
-reading and learning
-buying a certificate for a microneedling session and a haircut
-goals
-yoga
-my phone
-my eyeglasses
-self improvement
-pronoia
-prayer
-coffee
-ibuprofen for working when i felt awful and under the weather
-transforming into a new person and how exciting it is
-seeing my feral cats yesterday
-having beautiful hair
-having model beauty

buttercup
20th September 2019, 02:32 AM
-cutting ties with my manager after the final straw today with his b.s and feeling sad about it, but free
-having a great 2nd date with the sheriff the other date, and our trip to costa rica being booked
-having faith that my money crisis will work itself out
-being productive
-the purple antioxidant drinks by vive with red algae and stuff great for circulation and antiaging
-cayenne pepper
-m and her husband being helpful and nice
-seeing my feral cats
-knowing i always win
-cayenne pepper
-ice cold water
-my intense bike ride yesterday
-challenging myself and learning something new yesterday
-makeup
-relaxation
-feeling better
-goals
-my ambition
-my sense of style
-my medications
-having just a little bit of a wild side
-coffee
-candy
-having a baby face
-blankets
-warm showers
-the weather still being nice
-positive news stories
-inspiration
-my phone
-smiling
-cleaning, reorganizing, and decluttering
-spiritual nourishment
-my strength
-forgiveness
-laughing
-meeting interesting people
-making efforts
-things to look forward to
-having beautiful hair
-physical exercise
-reading
-getting positive treatment because of my looks and positive energy
-my eyeglasses
-my creativity
-being smart, logical, and empathetic
-my instagram following having increased
-healing
-socks
-being back home
-entertainment
-compliments
-romance
-being silly and having fun
-nightskies

buttercup
25th September 2019, 05:34 AM
-bar promos
-getting my recaps done
-my new benzos and xanax pillows
-pulling it together
-accepting myself
-vegan food
-mobile photo apps
-finally finding an editing app i like on my phone
-the guy i'm seeing taking me to costa rica and deciding to after only one date!
-fashion
-makeup
-having a baby face
-watching a great fashion show online from milan fashion week i enjoyed
-my talents
-perspective
-nightskies
-switching back to the antidepressnt i was on before
-self forgiveness
-cleaning,organizing, and decluttering
-the great date i had last week
-being a nice person
-my new gucci sunglasses i bought last week
-my great taste in things
-being in a better place then i was two months ago
-vegetables
-herbs
-spices
-art
-my eyeglasses
-healing
-moisturizers
-setting intentions and prayer
-getting a sweet little gift for the guy im seeing from work
-nice weather
-my style
-being unique
-trusting life and going with the flow
-ice cold water
-having photos for a new article for my publication
-having a photo i love of myself from my last trip
-my dreams that have come true so far
-new experiences
-abundance in my life
-cats
-smiling
-rest
-having a day off tomorrow
-all the cool things i've done in my life
-my strength
-my creativity
-those that support me
-living on my own for over a year now and how amazing that is and easy it's been
-transformation
-laughing at life
-allowing myself to recover
-yoga
-learning
-masculine energy

buttercup
26th September 2019, 02:58 AM
-vegan food
-spices
-being over DM
-seeing JM and that it's been going well
-going to costa rica next week
-recovering and healing
-aloe vera
-losing weight
-going for a bike ride today
-losing weight
-bar promos
-my sense of style
-finding a mobile app finally that smooths skin again the way i like
-an idea coming to me that i think is going to work and help me with the money problems i've been having
-trying on my new gucci sunglasses and how amazing they looked
-compliments
-having a little more money in my account today and faith that i will get through this financial hurdle
-all my pretty things
-my medications
-listening to some tibetan singing bowls
-updating my resume
-my beauty
-physical exercise
-entertainment
-having baby face
-sending out emails for jobs
-getting my . so now i wont have it while im in costa rica
-my accomplishments and things i've achieved
-greenery
-sunshine
-appreciation
-the funny halloween decorations that are out
-moving forward
-all that i have going for me
-rest

buttercup
1st October 2019, 12:46 AM
-having someone new i'm seeing
-going to costa rica this week
-manifesting my dreams come true
-my money increasing
-the guy im seeing being very nice
-no longer being sick
-the water flush working to get the toxins out
-aloe vera
-vegan food
-sunshine and warm weather today
-M saying she willl put money in my account before costa rica
-seeing my feral cats today
-getting all my recaps done
-vegetables
-spices
-sleep
-my manager putting money in my account
-that i got to go to nyc and up my status a little more in september
-trees
-entertainment
-positive animal articles for the animal world
-yoga
-shopping
-new experiences
-my adidas pink duffel bag
-getting a lot of money from the coinstar machine today
-contentment
-my living room being clean
-getting a new article up on my magazine for the first time in a few years
-having beautiful hair
-losing weight
-inspiration
-having goals

buttercup
8th October 2019, 01:50 AM
-talking to M after my panic of not hearing from him all day
-things being sweet with me and J the guy I'm seeing
-enough money coming into my account to pay my rent check tomorrow and what a relief that is
-prayer
-miracles
-setting intentions
-candy
-going for a walk to get a couple things i needed from the store
-finding out i still had a checkbook of checks still
-warm weather today
-my sense of style
-trees
-showers
-being almost done with the kitchen
-buying a new bedroom dresser
-how sweet J the guy I'm dating's dog is
-getting the perfect card/gift for J
-getting a birthday gift for my dad
-buying a hyaluronic acid serum from my favorite skin care brand that costs more because i want to start seeing my skin look better
-water
-fashion
-entertainment
-inspiration
-kindness from others
-newness
-forgiveness
-empathy
-doing spiritual work
-shopping
-my bed
-being an animal advocate
-art
-my creativity
-learning
-reflection
-hats
-socks
-being smart
-ideas
-perfumes
-having beautiful hair
-chivalry

buttercup
13th October 2019, 10:55 PM
-starting back on drinking protein drinks again today
-that the guy im seeing J and I are doing well
-my new gucci sunglasses
-blankets
-that E cat is ok
-buying some almond milk creamer and M giving me $20 and bringing me a latte
-ice cold water
-getting compliments all the time on how young i look and people being shocked by my age(which i actually lie about and am a little older then that even).
-being finished with the kitchen
-getting complimentary tickets to the whiskey event and seeing it from the other side(often i work those events) and getting the tickets for free because an editor of a magazine wants to use me for some ads in his magazine
-having a little fun again
-fitting into my dress and how nice it was to dress up again
-my sense of style
-my beauty
-getting my hair cut and my eyebrows threaded
-believing in myself
-inspiration
-my love of beauty and beautifying
-being smart
-playing with the jade roller on my face today and seeing a difference
-my sugar lip polish exfoliator and seeing it makes a difference in my lips getting fuller and getting rid of annoyances i dont like
-finding a mobile app i like for editing
-learning
-trees
-art
-going for walks
-being a woman
-nightskies
-colors
-entertainment
-my medications
-the internet
-being a caring person
-setting positive intentions
-my phone
-taking steps to be healthier and take my power back
-how sweet the guy i'm seeing's dog is
-having an appointment for microneedling set up
-being a thoughtful person
-sweet tasting things
-sleep
-thinking about the sweet possibilities
-updating my resume and linkedin
-improving myself

buttercup
18th October 2019, 02:23 AM
-my strength after J just ignoring me after me telling him i dont think things will work out and me texting him things and crying all night and him calling but him not getting it so i hung up and he could've came to my house, he could've tried harder. i texted him in the morning, afternoon, and he's ignored me since the 2nd time i hung up on him last night. he hasn't ghosted me/ignored me like this since shortly after our first date when we had an argument but this was a very big fight and he made very little effort and i'm very hurt. sweetest day weekend starts tommorow and now it might be ruined. he can't admit his wrongs or seem to have common sense on how or why i'm upset and instead just drops me after everything. he knew i was and am hurting and this is how he reacts. i thought we had a future. i chose him. but he's been lying. so i'm grateful so my strength.
-thankful that i opened my checking account and had a lot more money then i expected and treated myself to my own sweetest day gift. the saint lauret wallet i was planning on buying myself for christmas.
-making the credit card payment i needed to make
-putting money aside for an upcoming procedure i'm getting
-fasting yesterday
-fasting today
-M taking me out today when i told him i was really upset and needed to get out and did he need any company for any errands he was running
-fashion
-beauty
-sportsbras
-getting one of the doctor appointments i need made done
-M bringing me my resume again the other day for me my 2nd interview with company that liked me and wanted to see me for a 2nd interview
-my retinol serum
-my hyaluronic acid serum
-listening to some solar plexus spiritual music to strengthen my center right now
-yoga pants
-my new gucci sunglasses that are a smaller shape which is a newer thing for me
-blankets
-having beautiful hair
-healthy digestion
-working on rearranging the dining room and decluttering and cleaning it
-feeling my feelings
-good quotes
-booking a last minute charity event to work this weekend
-trees
-sunshine
-ideas
-having nice lips
-talking to my manager/fashion friend in nyc today for a little while
-appreciation
-buying my mom 2 humidifiers and holistic cat medicine that should take care of the issue her cat is having
-having a new set of pics for a new article for my magazine
-unique beauty
-creativity
-yoga
-learning
-reflection
-goals
-self improvement
-entertainment
-inspiration
-innocence
-traveling
-healing
-art
-creativity
-taking care of the credit card fraud with my credit card
-my credit score going up a point
-water
-smiling
-my new jade roller and how great it's been working for my skin
-peaceful sounds

buttercup
22nd October 2019, 12:43 AM
-m telling me that he sent me something that's on the way for me
-people making me feel attractive
-doing good with fasting 3 out of 4 days no dinner and barely eating all those days
-getting my microneedling session done today
-fun moments
-rest
-entertainment
-having l cat over the other day
-nice weather
-being smart
-appreciation
-newness
-sportsbras
-my sense of style
-ordering the ysl wallet coming tommorow
-my jade mini face roller
-water
-my balcony and balcony window
-nightskies
-my mood feeling stable
-yoga
-getting my recaps in
-setting positive intentions
-trees and seeing the them turn fall colors
-entertainment

buttercup
28th October 2019, 09:12 PM
-J making things up to me and not letting me go. going out of his way to prove he doesnt know the girl and try and have me meet another girl that i thought it was by taking me to where she works so i could see it's not the same person and he has no idea who that girl was. apologiziing, getting me flowers, a card, talking things out with me and giving me money since i really needed it and believing that it really was a mix up thinking he was cheating on me and that the other thing i was insecure about is nothing too. he was trying to kill two birds with one stone. prove he isnt cheating on me with anyone and that i dont need to be insecure of this girl at the restaurant and that he barely even talked to her before we started dating and not at all while we did so he made us go get a drink on our last date as a "surprise" at that place which i wasnt happy about but finally shut me up about things.
-seeing J finally got his gift i sent him
-booking a lot of last minute jobs this weekend
-my bank account getting fixed after it getting totally wrecked after even my own bank saying it was their fault.i still lost a lot of money.
-having the money for my fillers that i'm getting tommorow. nervous. it's a big deal but it's time.
-mi sending me a gift today- a michael kors coat
-compliments
-feeling happier this month then i did this month last year
-listening to heart chakra music
-yoga
-using a body scrub in the shower and face mask. been getting into face masks after seeing how one made my skin look really vibrant recently.
-my creativity
-entertainment
-meditating on the balcony today
-feeling special
-new experiences
-sweeping my dining room floor
-the saiint laurent boxes that saint laurent purchases come in. so chic
-fashion and style
-being fashionable and stylish
-my appetite being so small
-having a baby face
-having great hair
-water
-soda pop
-J's dog and how sweet she is. whenever i want J to cuddle with me and he doesnt listen, she does, she even got on top of me the other night.
-having a kind heart
-trees
-my chic pink hangers i bought recently
-prayer
-setting intentions
-that i went to nyc this fall
-that J said we are a couple and boyfriend and girlfriend this weekend
-having beautiful eyes
-having unique life experiences
-photography
-my accomplishments
-my lip exfoliating scrub
-blankets
-acceptance
-rest
-the heat being turned on in my apartment
-the beauty of the leaves changing colors on the trees
-optimism
-colors

buttercup
31st October 2019, 02:42 AM
-getting my fillers for my smile lines
-my aesthtician being nice and saying i havent aged at all and look 16 and saying i model, right?( i guess she's looked me up, before)
-long nap to help my allergies go away
-the coat mi sent me
-vegan based protein meals
-entertainment
-my dresser being all put together
-ordering some winter boots with afterpay today
-having my apple cider vinegar supplement
-learning
-inspiration
-beauty
-yoga pants
-my checking account being ok
-having a lot of jobs for november
-blankets
-compliments
-making a new self hypnosis audio
-socks
-all my beautiful luxury shopping packages
-shapes
-cityscapes
-doing some reading today
-stretching
-tissues
-showers
-having great cheekbones

buttercup
6th November 2019, 12:06 AM
-staying strong through it all
-crying it all out
-having l cat over
-good sleep
-hope
-hoodies and coats
-cuteness
-listening to chakra solfeggio music
-vegan food
-my face looking nicer since i got filler
-getting the trip to nyc booked
-getting offered to have my lip injections paid for
-sunshine
-deciding to dedicate myself to exercise for the next phase of my healing
-the collagen water i tried, and that it was good that i picked up on a whim
-trees
-getting paint off a table that's been there for like 2 years now
-support and kindness from others
-my beauty
-my style
my ysl wallet
-the pep talk from mi about following my dreams
-shopping
-learning more as an adult
-warm showers
-sweet candy
-mobile photo editing apps
-goals
-face rolling my face with the jade face roller and doing a face mask and using more of the purple conditioner. doing little things to love myself and keep my motivation going
-my sense of style
-my talent
-doing well with no contact
-remembering perspective, to keep things in perspective
-afterpay the new service that lets you pay in installments
-working on all the things i need to work on and staying focused on that
-headphones

buttercup
7th November 2019, 04:32 AM
-my strength
-hope
-crying release
-meditation
-the power of love
-listening to third eye and crown chakra solfeggios
-l cat being here
-new content for my ig
-ativan
-vegan food
-fashion
-shopping
-having a deep sleep the last two days
-physical exercise
-cute packaging and design
-my femininity
-my child-like side
-mobile editing apps
-my face looking slimmer
-getting an interesting package in the mail from a native american school looking for donations
-the cute noises l cat makes
-new ideas
-reflection
-affirmations
-setting intentions
-appreciation
-prayer
-colors
-trees
-redecorating/cleaning/decluttering
-headphones
-blankets
-reflecting on the good i have
-finding a large rose quartz heart and buying it. i really want to attract a husband into my life!
-deciding to taper of my topamax since it's done nothing for weight loss anymore and it was only staying on those two meds for my mental health that had that side effect
-mr.clean magic erasers
-trying i am skinny supplement yesterday
-pleasant memories
-inspiring quotes
-water
-the humidifier
-learning

buttercup
10th November 2019, 02:46 AM
-l cat staying here for the week, helping me get through the breakup with J. it's been really tough. it's been almost a week a since i heard from him and almost a week since i broke up with him.
-ibuprofen
-vegan food
-crying & release
-getting it together and realizing i'm in trouble and need to make changes in my life and get a kind of drive i had before when i was in survival mode that i've lost, right before i moved here.
-seeing my ferals yesterdays and today
-my beautiful huge rose quartz heart coming in the mail today
-head phones
-listening to root chakra solfeggio music right now
-drinking more collagen protein water
-sunshine
-my gray michael kors coat
-trying to put joy into my work again
-noticing randomly D unblocked me from ig and made his profile unhidden
-deciding i'm going to go a week without buying anything shopping wise
-having a lot of money on my food card
-trying to do the right thing
-the new way i have my iced latte, with one shot of mocha and one shot of vanilla
-beyond sausage being available in my city now where i get my coffee
-pillows
-beautiful things
-compliments
-being considered beautiful
-style
-appreciation
-innovation
-sleep
-hope
-prayer
-being able to feel love
-inspiration
-physical exercise
-reflection
-self awareness
-pleasant memories
-setting intentions
-trying new things
-entertainment
-that i'm in a better place then i was over the summer
-that i'm making efforts
-smiling
-believing in myself
-the help i get from m
-deep cleansing breaths
-seeing the good in things
-being authentic
-having nice hair
-good advice and/ or things to make you think

buttercup
20th November 2019, 01:35 AM
-headphones
-crying and releasing
-my rose quartz heart
-self forgiveness
-trying filler for myself
-entertainment
-J texting me out of the blue, right before i left for nyc, just like i somehow predicted and because of circumstances not related, i ended up not going which showed the true colors of M in nyc, a very negative side to him, and showed i was really not meant to go, as building management came to my place today and it was urgent and not so fun, but could've been bad had i not been there and then after M picking on me all day, J saying he wants to see me this week and loves me. i just felt sort of insane. and today i feel emotional.
-getting a new phone and tablet
-M(fam) saying don't worry about the money, if i can't get it, they will have it.
-solar plexus chakra healing music
-collagen water
-cleaning and organizing
-sleeping
-yoga pants
-buying new luxury roses for my table
-new ways of doing things
-physical exercise
-hoodies
-my new hair color
-confirming a special event to work this weekend
-surrender
-cuteness
-that i can get my lips done this friday
-ativan
-barely eating yesterday and skipping dinner
-fashion
-photography
-pictures
-being someone men fall in love for
-knowing to just breathe and take things one day at a time
-the internet
-pillows
-blankets
-nice weather yesterday
-nice warm cleansing showers
-having beautiful eyes
-appreciation
-my eyesight
-losing weight
-prayer
-my winter boots
-my heart's desires
-my taste in things
-snowflake brownies i bought
-my exfoliating lip scrub

buttercup
22nd November 2019, 01:53 AM
-water
-cleaning and reorganizing
-crying and releasing
-telling J how i feel finally and him calling me and leaving me a voicemail from work
-m surprising me by paying my rent for december when she came with me to sign my lease which will finally give me the reset i need to start paying my rent on time and build my savings
-getting approved for a loan, though i'm not sure it's what i really wanted and i havent told anyone i got it, i think it'll help too
-sleep
-m from new york calming down and chatting on the phone today
-that i get to get my lips reinjected tomorrow
-buying myself the givenchy teddy bear i wanted for a gift for myself
-ativan
-music
-having a new phone
-calmness
-nicer weather yesterday and today
-yoga
-my work references
-physical exercise
-pillows
-my rose quartz heart
-compliments
-not eating dinner for about 3 days in a row
-appreciation
-pictures
-learning
-cleansing and renewing
-newness
-prayer
-having nice hair
-setting intentions
-having support

buttercup
29th November 2019, 01:43 AM
-accepting the holiday spirit
-being back together with my boyfriend
-my black givenchy teddy bear
-getting a manicure and pedicure yesterday spontaneously and going for edgy black finger nails
-my fila milano hoodie
-the nederland patch J got me from europe
-lip injections
-new ideas
-my sense of style
-J accepting my beauty as it is, flaws and all
-M taking me for breakfast today
-my andalou organics orange flavored lip balm. it's so super moisturizing.
-getting more of those beautiful chic rose velvet hangers in the mail so i can finish my closet
-getting a partial refund on the dresser that was having problems
-peace
-orange juice
-having beautiful hair
-my weight going down
-my chic grey coat my friend from nyc sent me
-cuteness
-my money being good
-paying a big chunk to my saks balance
-putting aside half my rent so far for january in my savings
-all my pretty and beautiful things in my apartment
-cats
-being smart
-my phone
-the heart shaped spoons i got in the mail
-confirming more jobs for december
-roses
-my little rosemary tree
-blankets
-my rose quartz heart
-J leaving a lot of leftovers at my house the other night
-nightskies
-my living room being clean
-sleep
-prayer
-music
-entertainment
-calmness

buttercup
3rd December 2019, 09:25 PM
-vegan food
-sunshine
-trees
-creativity
-my medications
-fillers
-lip injections
-coffee
-my retinol serum
-my new stella mccartney sneakers that arrived yesterday
-taking things one day at a time
-being back together with J
-strawberry fruit chews
-blankets
-slippers
-sleep
-getting packages in the mail
-cats
-hope
-kindness
-knowing i can change my reality
-stretches
-my black givenchy bear
-my pink rose gold velvet hangers
-yoga
-my lip scrub

buttercup
6th December 2019, 03:23 AM
-sleep
-being given money
-losing weight
-lip injections
-going for a nice walk today and appreciating how stylish and high end my style was
-having l cat here
-sir kensington's chipotle mayo
-M(m's husband) picking me up and taking me to see the cats and pick up l, and stop at grocery store
-my money being ok
-technology
-soda pop
-stretching
-cleaning and organizing and decluttering
-my new stella mcartney adidas shoes
-clorox wipes
-getting some beauty products in the mail i'm excited about
-flowers
-sunshine
-trees
-being told by m he got me presents for christmas
-making more money in november then i did in october
-being told there will be a lot of work in january
-appreciation
-water
-ativan
-my antidepressant
-smiling
-pictures
-sweets
-vegan food
-prayer
-journaling the other night
-compliments
-having a huge chunk of my saks bill paid off recently
-fashion and style

buttercup
9th December 2019, 03:55 AM
-soda pop
-getting a ride to work today and getting a lot done
-slippers
-the feeling of a breeze/fresh air hitting my body
-candy
-me and J being back together
-J getting getting rid of the rest of the likes today
-blankets
-hoodies
-sleep
-cuteness
-all my cats
-going for walks
-techology
-ice cold water
-makeup
-having great style
-my new black leggings with the vertical line that goes down them
-technology
-my phone
-appreciation
-thinking positive
-great pictures of me
-my mocha/vanilla almond milk latte i get on some days
-my thoughtfulness
-my large heart rose quartz
-today being a day of ease
-taking life one day at a time
-reflection
-my retinol in squalane serum i use
-being smart
-meeting friendly people
-peace
-having nice eyes
-manifesting my heart's desires
-being a considerate person
-shopping
-creativity
-beauty
-colors
-nightskies
-seeing my feral cats
-my coat that my from new york sent me
-being beautiful
-my lip scrub
-my talents
-nice packaging
-going for walks
-finishing cleaning the balcony blinds
-fillers
-mobile editing apps
-the cool things i've done in life

buttercup
10th December 2019, 03:35 AM
-art
-creativity
-that i'm going to be ok
-drinking my aloe vera mixed with water supplement
-using my jade face roller today
-ativan
-coffee
-showers
-that me and J are still together
-acceptance
-black leggings
-fashion
-beauty
-sleep
-innovation
-slippers
-that J is giving me $100 tommorow
-M helping me with my errands today
-M in nyc's gift has shipped
-having a baby face
-my lip scrub
-my sense of style
-working on cleaning and organizing my living room storage closet
-my eyes
-being friendly
-hot guys
-my ysl wallet
-nice packaging
-softness
-feeling more momentum towards some goals
-being productive
-feeling optimistic today
-soda pop
-cuteness
-flowers
-my popsocket
-my michael kors coat m from nyc sent me
-edginess and having fun playing with that in terms of style and things i like
-learning
-expanding as a person
-prayer
-setting intentions
-nightskies
-seeing my saks balance get lower and lower with more speed
-being able to pay another bill today

buttercup
13th December 2019, 02:50 AM
-M's husband getting me a cactus flowering christmas plant
-M's husband caulking the grout in my bathroom and how nice it looks and fixing a drawer in my old dresser,and a tile on bathroom floor
-waking up feeling cozy and peaceful
-the litter heater in my room
-nice weather today
-remembering all my accomplishments and the cool things i've done and my talents
-water
-showers
-my pillows
-shopping
-having money
-having a boyfriend
-getting some presents for the animals in my life
-the lip peel i bought and how amazing it is
-reassurances
-thinking positive
-my michael kors coat
-fashion
-entertainment
-my pillows
-inspiration
-black leggings
-physical exercise
-my medications
-cozy socks and slippers
-my givenchy bear
-beauty
-kindness
-learning
-new experience
-my black fingernail polished manicured hands
-getting things cleaned and organized and decluttered
-trees
-having a place to live
-art
-brushing and styling my hair
-touch
-pictures
-colors
-setting intentions
-prayer
-affirmations
-deep cleansing breaths
-compliments
-healing
-progressing as a person

buttercup
14th December 2019, 05:10 AM
-my boyfriend
-feeling peaceful
-moving & heartfelt moments
-happiness
-vegan food
-that i've been challenging myself to walk to the store when it's dark out and it's become consistent
-feeling high end and accomplished
-shopping
-fashion
-awesome lip products that make my lips look and feel good
-warmth
-having work with a new agency tommorow
-compliments
-my beauty
-clarity
-cuteness
-water
-showers
-black leggings
-hoodies
-pillows
-motivation
-glamour
-newness
-blankets
-cozy feelings
-kindness
-happy news stories
-animal lovers and heroes to animals
-humor
-laughter
-getting a gift for my dad
-getting a gift for my boyfriend
-my medications
-the key lime cream rum i have in my fridge
-fun
-my saint laurent wallet
-prayer
-setting intentions
-affirmations
-love
-my large heart rose quartz
-taste
-ideas
-creation
-finding old writings of mine the other day and getting inspired
-being unique

buttercup
15th December 2019, 04:14 AM
-confirming a lot of jobs for january
-my boyfriend
-being smart
-feeling inspired and confident
-having an easy day at work and finding out stuff about my ex-including that he really is no longer living in my city, which at least now i know
-being social and conversing with others
-being good a my job
-having model looks
-being cute
-ice cold water
-considerate people
-cuteness
-my grey coat
-buying some gifts for my boyfriend for the holiday
-getting some gifts for the cats in my life for the holiday
-colors
-entertainment
-my beauty
-how much i've grown as a person and will grow as a person
-being strong
-yoga
-becoming more flexible
-making and having goals
-setting intentions
-the breeze from leaving the balcony door open a bit
-shopping
-reflection
-connectedness
-smiling
-my child-like side
-buying some chic new yoga pants i wanted
-being productive
-my prada socks
-having great hair
-working on figuring out my problems
-decorations
-appreciation
-makeup
-art
-creativity
-blankets
-my phone
-my laptop
-the opportunities i've been given

buttercup
17th December 2019, 06:00 AM
-entertainment
-inspiration
-skipping dinner today
-trolling my friend M and getting him a pusheen cat that arrived today after him saying he was never speaking to me if i sent him something that was a stuffed animal cat because he keeps dreaming of cats because of me. it was so funny.
-compliments
-kindness
-getting another gift for my boyfriend today
-fashion
-being productive
-coffee
-my medications
-doing some reading
-my confidence growing
-my flexibility increasing
-being smart
-yoga
-my thoughtfulness
-hoodies
-my mom's problem working out and resolving itself
-feeling peaceful
-my givenchy teddy bear
-having goals
-cuteness
-beauty
-blankets
-the internet
-reflection
-being high end
-having beautiful eyes
-looking young
-having great hair
-colors
-trees
-flowers
-my balcony window
-pleasant memories
-cleaning, decluttering, reorganizing
-good deals
-having great cheekbones
-losing weight
-my talents
-being able to pay my bills
-water
-my phone
-healthy digestion
-deep cleansing breaths
-great design
-happy news stories
-growing as a person
-adding new things to my accomplishment book
-working on a word search
-smiling
-having nice lips
-shopping
-pictures
-my creativity

buttercup
18th December 2019, 07:20 AM
-getting paid today
-having a good day
-sunshine
-cotton candy
-not eating dinner yesterday
-that M from NYC is getting me gifts
-trying the impossible burger today from burger king
-M's husband giving me $50 and letting me tag along with his errands today
-seeing my feral cats today
-being stylish and high end
-seeing M's nephew and his mom and them being nice to me and peace between me and them
-going to the vet with M's mom for her birds and that experience of hanging with the birds
-kindness
-being invited for christmas to M's mom's house
-my phone
-having goals
-my stacked skincare lip peel
-yoga
-getting my coco chanel logo in ativan pills art print in the mail today
-beauty
-inspiration
-movies
-blankets
-naps
-peace
-not stressing
-having a great chest
-ibuprofen
-doing some reading
-being productive
-confirming a job today
-having goals
-opportunities
-ideas
-reflection
-positive animal stories
-having great cheekbones
-looking like a model
-others considering me attractive
-my balcony door

buttercup
24th December 2019, 06:08 AM
-being home
-my feral cats
-being productive
-cuteness
-collagen water
-becoming more mature
-sleep
-my new pusheen purse
-my beautiful christmas bouquet with gold ornaments and pine
-lip injections
-coffee
-lip scrub and lip peel i've been using and how amazing my lips have been looking since
-my gray michael kors coat
-having a boyfriend
-my cozy green adidas track pants i'm wearing
-confirming a bunch of jobs today
-being a little bit in the seasonal spirit this year
-getting my gucci package today
-sunshine
-my face slimming out
-compliments
-my body slimming out and feeling more body confident
-stretches
-vegan burgers
-water
-smiling
-being authentic
-entertainment
-being stylish
-having a beautiful face
-skincare treatments
-my rose quartz heart
-my phone
-being considered attractive
-looking like a model
-blankets
-my balcony door
-my new rilakkuma hamper
-reading and learning
-newness
-ideas
-peace
-people getting along
-reflection
-reassurances
-ativan
-deep cleansing breaths
-being talented
-hyaluronic acid
-having beautiful eyes
-having great cheekbones
-having slim arms
-my child-like side
-people thinking i look and sound and seem much younger then my real age, even under the age of 18 at times
-positive animal stories
-my new rilakumma hamper
-calmness
-luxury
-goals
-kindness
-that one of my agencies is going to start paying every two weeks instead of once a month and is even giving us a bonus for opting into that before it's required
-my talents
-my creativity
-getting gifts
-giving gifts
-candy
-being healthy
-paying a bill today
-allowing myself to grow as a person

buttercup
26th December 2019, 07:18 PM
-incredible weather today
-sunshine
-water
-vegan food
-exchanging gifts with my boyfriend yesterday
-aloe vera
-getting holiday gifts
-the gifts i bought myself
-the gifts i bought others
-sunshine
-spiritual tools i can use
-coffee
-cuteness
-going to breakfast with m's husband yesterday
-my givenchy t-shirt
-my express leggings with the vertical line going down them
-my ysl wallet
-entertainment
-goals
-making efforts
-trying to stay in the moment
-my balcony window
-inspiration
-my style and taste in things
-beauty
-flowers
-my weight going down and my face slimming out
-my stacked skincare lip peel
-being considerate
-rest
-sleep
-reflection
-text messages
-lip injections
-being productive
-having great cheekbones
-ideas
-embracing change
-taking things one thing at a time
-spending more time with my feral cats last week
-makeup
-having beautiful eyes
-great ideas
-creativity
-support from others
-my strength
-tackling on challenges
-solutions
-reading and learning
-cleaning and decluttering
-trying to live a heart centered life
-m from nyc taking care of the email domain phone call for me
-comfortable cozy socks

buttercup
28th December 2019, 10:47 PM
-getting my discover card fixed and no longer negative
-physical exercise
-feeling thinner
-relaxing and having faith
-drinking my berry antioxidant detox drink
-water
-cats
-being productive
-getting my tablet to work and having fun with that
-going grocery shopping
-sleep
-stretches
-calming down after a breakdown
-my medications
-showers
-reading and learning
-positive news stories
-reflecting on life moments and memories
-alcohol samples
-heart's desires
-having an artist's eye
-compliments
-winning a dispute with food delivery app and sending it to my bank
-newness
-decluttering, cleaning, reorganizing
-my beautiful christmas flowers
-looking so young
-having great taste
-my eyes
-band-aids
-the smell of roses
-my beauty
-finding a solution to my worry of transferring my rent from my savings to my main checking
-surrender
-peace
-my new rose water shampoo
-smiling
-having great cheekbones
-my face slimming out
-my stomach being flat today
-leg warmers
-my phone
-the little heater in my house
-my balcony window

buttercup
1st January 2020, 10:29 PM
-goals
-cotton candy
-doing it. buying the burberry joggers from my saks account
-beauty in the destruction from the reconstruction
-going out for breakfast with m's husband this morning
-fashion
-my style
-compliments
-M's wife taking me with her to the vitamin shoppe and startbucks yesterday
-L cat staying with me for a few days and how beautiful she is and nice to hug and hold
-compliments
-M's husband having fixed my frame
-art
-my supertoner with several acids in it that i just bought a full size bottle of
-my bed
-my pusheen cat purse
-my reimbursements coming in today
-manifesting my dreams coming true
-my red plaid slippers
-my beauty
-flowers
-the snow melting
-seeing my feral cats today
-my ideas
-my bed
-my phone
-the strawberry fruit chews i've been eating lately
-creativity
-innovation
-shopping
-candy
-lip injections
-my stacked skincare lip peel
-yoga
-coffee
-water
-my medications
-reorganizing, cleaning and decluttering
-all the free calendars i always get
-having a lot of jobs this weekend
-a bright sunny day today
-prayer
-getting my hyaluronic acid last night
-beauty
-the internet
-things working out
-my gucci sunglasses
-pictures
-my balcony window

buttercup
4th January 2020, 04:48 AM
-nutella
-peanut butter cookies
-water
-having thick gorgeous hair
-burger king impossible burger
-my now ex boyfriend giving me money yesterday
-breaking up with my boyfriend after the last straw of what was last night and now being single and happy about it
-my now ex boyfriend coming to some senses and sending an apology text today
-the change i got to keep from my now ex boyfriend giving me money and calling me a cab last night
-fashion
-when i'm able to take an extra dose of my ativan which is my old dose and how much calmer i feel and normal
-sleep
-having the motivation to finally finish up an article i was working on for months and publishing it tonight
-M's husband bringing me to work today and getting done what i had to get done
-the free stuff i get from work
-wearing my jaguar necklace today. hadn't worn jewelry in awhile but decided to love myself a little by adorning myself
-M's husband sharing something cute and touching with me today. He said he does his praying sometimes with T cat(mom cat). When she's being petted by him and on his lap and they have their little ritual of her hanging on him for cuddles. what a sacred way to bond!
-this new beauty product hydrating gel i started using that i've had for awhile that makes my skin look amazing
-my vertical lined black leggings. so chic.
-face rollers
-pictures
-entertainment
-humor
-getting laundry done today and taking out the trash
-smiling
-the smell of roses
-taking things one thing at a time
-my gray michael kors coat ive been wearing all season
-appreciation
-getting a lot more social media notice lately for months now for some reason
-getting my bedroom bed cleared up finally and made
-newness
-my beauty
-feeling inspired
-learning
-being kind
-wearing the vintage balenciaga sweater i got
-adding more then a $1 to my savings account today
-physical exercise
-cool things that animals do

buttercup
5th January 2020, 06:00 AM
-friendly people
-looking the same as i did in 8th grade
-entertainment
-self-awareness
-handling the J breakup pretty well
-shopping
-getting paid today
-the dispute going in my favor credit going back to my account
-standing up for myself
-beauty
-water
-donating to an animal charity that seemed good
-finding an austrailia wildfires charity to donate to
-the beautiful things i own
-prayer
-having thick healthy hair
-makeup
-physical exercise
-inspiration
-sleep
-empathy for others
-ativan
-my style
-how much m and her husband help me
-almond milk lattes
-felines
-brushing my hair
-colors
-peanut butter cookies
-nutella
-my laptop
-making people happy
-cuteness
-flowers
-my room being so much more organized then a few weeks ago
-relaxation
-my phone
-my hydrating jelly by clinique i've been using
-great design
-deep cleansing breaths
-face massage
-smiling
-newness
-having a lot of work this weekend
-stretching

buttercup
6th January 2020, 05:38 AM
-vegan food
-soda pop
-getting my burberry sweats in the mail and how beautiful they are
-making over $1000 this weekend
-being flirted with a lot today
-sleep
-beautiful things
-honoring my feelings
-having great cleavage
-water
-having thick gorgeous hair
-sportsbras
-fashion
-wearing my david yurman bracelet today
-black leggings
-being stylish
-my hydrating jelly by clinique i've been using
-the sun coming out today
-smiling
-entertainment
-having a nice apartment
-having a caring heart
-feeling more peaceful since letting go of my toxic nyc friend
-prayer
-reading
-positivity
-getting a little excited again
-almond milk lattes
-comfort
-believing in good
-being smart
-newness
-ideas
-the internet
-M and her husband for helping me
-the gifts my now ex boyfriend got me for christmas
-being patient with myself
-having beautiful eyes
-music
-stretching
-my phone
-apricot oil
-being a woman
-warmth
-coming back to myself again

buttercup
7th January 2020, 07:36 AM
-finally getting the floor of my room cleaned and organized
-rest
-new ideas
-hoodies
-getting a brother gift that i sent him. he once mentioned how good chocolate oranges were back when when we kids, this was a few years ago and so i sent him a few from one of the candy shops i order from
-water
-ativan
-soda pop
-coffee
-forcing myself to go outside for a walk before it got too late
-having nice hair
-buying myself some fendi socks that i thought were so chic
-going ahead and ordering a replacing saks card. yeah, it was my big goal to pay it off that was taking forever and i hadnt used it and it was cut up, but i'm changing directions a little in how i am planing to master my finances and with how some things happened these last few months, i feel like a change in plans was needed with that goal
-looking young
-doing 100 wide set squats(the ones that work the hips a little more)
-vegan food
-cute animal new stories
-seeing people raise awareness and donating to animal causes and the austrailia wildfires
-getting the toner i liked a lot in the mail
-the clinique hydrating gel i've been using
-compliments and support from others
-being productive
-talking to m from nyc and and squashing a smidge of the bad blood between us
-having nice lips
-doing positive things for myself
-smiling
-having nice cheekbones
-being able to live in an apartment by myself
-cuteness
-blankets
-feeling positive and action oriented to make strides and move forward
-being a zen type person
-doing a little reading
-drinking my collagen water today
-having goals
-pinterest
-prayer
-love
-reflection
-taking things one thing at a time

buttercup
9th January 2020, 07:14 AM
-making the best of a day that started off on the wrong foot
-showers
-finishing my recaps
-having a lot of work this month
-getting a reimbursement sent for the next few jobs and some of my past jobs
-hot guys
-deciding to block the nyc friend on ig after getting vibes i didnt like
-spices
-my ex texting me to tell me he wrote me a letter and asking for my zipcode and saying he was ok with being acquaintances when i texted him today and asked him
-face rollers
-kindness
-coffee
-taking supplements and vitamins
-having sweetness and innocence in my face
-doing laundry today
-candy
-medications
-talking to someone on a social media site i'm on who invited me to a concert these last few days
-style
-water
-my phone
-self forgiveness
-my brother liking the gift i sent him
-a friend i hadnt spoken to in a few months reaching out to me today
-having nice hair
-compliments
-leg warmers
-thinking positive
-blankets
-yoga
-deep stretches
-deep cleansing breaths
-prayer
-setting positive intentions
-caring people
-cute animal stories
-facetune app
-entertainment
-almost having enough money to get more filler done so i'll be right on time for when i wanted to get it done
-getting more clarity and peace ever since nyc friend and i stopped speaking
-being self motivated
-my bedroom being clean
-smiling
-appreciation
-night skies
-my authenticity
-the little heater i turned on today
-my phone
-the internet

buttercup
10th January 2020, 05:10 AM
-m's husband calling me today
-my bed
-J texting me saying he is retiring tommorow and that was going to be a surprise for me, extra time. that we are at least able to text each other.
-not working today
-taking care of more things that needed to be done
-physical exercise
-cleaning and decluttering and reorganizing
-a clean apartment
-black leggings
-encouraging people on social media to donate to a charity
-doing some work on some facebook pages i manage
-blankets
-coffee
-seeing that it looked like my doctor called in my ativan for me since i wasn't able to make my appointment yesterday
-being kind
-face rollers
-my medications
-soda pop
-perfume
-rest
-yoga
-my beauty
-compliments
-taking supplements and vitamins
-trees
-doing some reading today
-my phone
-touch
-having beautiful hair
-the little heater in my apartment
-having nice curves
-entertainment
-relaxation

buttercup
12th January 2020, 06:11 AM
-m's husband bringing me to work today
-sleep
-my green adidas track pants
-my ex J texting me back today
-getting my art print i bought in a frame
-being forgiven for my mistakes
-almond milk lattes
-having a lot of work this weekend
-drinking my collagen water supplement
-how pretty the snow looked today
-positive animal stories
-animal lovers
-fashion
-setting positive intentions
-prayer
-the little heater in my apartment
-getting laundry done before bed
-taking out the heavy trash
-showering
-clean clothes
-empathy for others
-connection
-my medications
-my phone
-having nice hair
-having beautiful curves
-having beautiful eyes
-newness
-ideas
-water
-bananas
-lip injections

buttercup
13th January 2020, 06:54 AM
-vegan food
-vegan meat
-sir kensington's chipotle mayo
-ativan
-ibuprofen 800
-getting my art print in a frame
-water
-m's husband being nice to me and bringing me to work today
-my credit card having some money on it
-taking things one thing at a time
-sleep
-showers
-clean clothes
-having a clear mind
-having beautiful hair
-doing a spiritual intention setting exercise with solar plexus music and theta music
-almond milk lattes
-that i've been talking to someone new on social media who i exchanged phone numbers with that invited me to a concert with him in march
-my ex texting me today wanting to come this week
-goodrxapp
-my phone
-making a lot of money this weekend
-ideas
-that the new year isn't off to the worst start. things have been ok.
-fashion
-entertainment
-art
-smiling
-learning
-intention setting
-makeup
-my rose face spray
-animals
-beauty
-pictures
-animal lovers
-optimism
-pronoia
-my child-like side
-stretches
-my lip peel product
-relaxation
-healthy digestion
-lip injections
-inspiration
-touch
-social media
-blankets

buttercup
14th January 2020, 03:55 AM
-cotton candy
-hoodies
-my style
-my ex wanting to come over tomorrow to give me a massage. confusing. i told acquaintances dont give massages since that's what we agreed to be but decided to let him come.
-getting the rest of my work done today
-m's husband being in my life and helping me
-stretches
-vegan food
-sir kensington's vegan chipotle mayo fabanaise
-clean clothes
-showers
-getting my massage today
-my medications
-cuteness
-positive animal stories
-shopping
-plants
-valentines day
-being cute
-relaxation
-setting positive intentions
-smiling
-inspiration
-goals
-being unique
-facetune
-earning a lot of money the past few days
-takings one day at a time so i dont get overwhelmed
-socks
-learning
-new ideas
-blankets
-my balcony window
-reading
-my skincare regimen
-lip injections
-self acceptance
-working on loving myself again
-feeling wanted
-an acquaintance i made through social media
-almond milk lattes
-feeling peaceful
-allowing feelings of presence and aliveness to breathe through me
-animals
-having nice lips
-having a young look and voice
-my credit card being pink
-my strength
-art
-warmth
-trees
-beauty products
-appreciation
-being kind
-prayer
-being productive
-apricot oil

buttercup
15th January 2020, 05:59 AM
-vegan meat
-sir kengsington's chipotle vegan mayo fabanaise
-candy
-coffee
-water
-learning of new supplements to try
-smiling
-being beautiful
-compliments
-yin yoga
-getting more recaps done
-talking on the phone to m's husband today
-showers
-someone i've been talking to online and we've been flirting
-telling my ex off after he flaked on me again and him actually saying I do deserve better. Wow. Usually, he's too egotistical to say something like that
-interesting conversations with others today
-entertainment
-hairties
-the sun coming out today
-setting positive intentions
-acceptance
-peace
-my baby T cat showing up in my sleeping dreams lately
-blankets
-my phone
-plants
-technology
-my intelligence
-my style
-laughing
-humor
-apricot oil
-getting things done
-my hydrating lip peel
-taking things one thing at a time

buttercup
16th January 2020, 06:09 AM
-getting another per diem sent for work
-getting a reimbursement sent from work
-cash app
-getting another job booking
-applying to some jobs
-entertainment
-brushing my hair
-compliments
-being considered attractive
-fashion
-not having any work or paperwork to do today
-buying an alexander wang bag
-humor
-laughing
-learning
-being smart
-new ideas
-bananas
-coffee
-walking to the store today
-physical exercise
-my skincare regimen
-taking my vitamins and supplements today
-water
-decluttering and rearranging things
-candy
-cuteness
-art
-the internet
-yoga
-updating my resume
-smiling
-m and her husband being there for me
-lip injectons
-facial fillers
-getting to the psychiatrist today
-calmness
-blankets
-my bed
-smiling
-looking young
-mobile editing apps
-prayer
-setting positive intentions
-animal lovers

buttercup
18th January 2020, 06:17 AM
-feeling in a good mood
-bananas
-being considered attractive
-finding out i got my saks card in the mail and hadnt even known it
-having a lot more money on my credit card then i expected when i checked it today
-entertainment
-shopping
-buying myself a side table for my living room
-buying a valentines gift for myself
-buying some thoughtful gifts for my mom
-how pretty snow is
-M's husband bringing me to work tomorrow
-face rolling
-plants
-trees
-compliments
-physical exercise
-making goals
-the little heater in my apartment
-doing laundry
-having a young face
-my medications
-goodrx
-reflecting on my accomplishments
-talking to M from nyc today
-having nice curves
-learning
-having a great sense of style
-fashion
-staying positive
-staying motivated
-being strong
-appreciating quiet
-taking vitamins and supplements today
-doing more cleaning and decluttering and rearranging
-laughing
-making some movement towards some goals
-beauty
-showering
-roses
-apricot oil
-smiling
-appreciation

buttercup
21st January 2020, 04:35 AM
-rest
-naps
-hoodies
-water
-iced almond milk lattes
-getting a ride to work today
-candy
-earning a lot of money this month
-staying motivated
-getting my new alexander wang bag in the mail
-realizing since today was a holiday and my payment didn''t come in, that maybe the automatic payment wasnt taken out either today
-makeup
-sunshine
-newness
-having goals
-yoga
-physical exercise
-the whites of my eyes being bright
-getting my marble side table in the mail
-smiling
-socks
-reflection
-vegan food
-positive animal stories
-shopping
-plants
-trees
-getting my eyebrows threaded
-beauty
-doing some reading
-doing some word search
-cleaning and organizing and rearranging and redecorating
-inspiration
-getting things done
-taking vitamins and supplements
-bananas
-art
-creativity
-having my own apartment
-keeping a positive mindset
-my medications
-cuteness
-black leggings
-being fashionable
-help
-pictures
-animal lovers
-shower
-looking and sounding so much younger then my real age
-felines
-being productive
-growing as a person
-self acceptance
-music
-great ideas
-my hydrating lip peel
-those who support me
-being kind

buttercup
24th January 2020, 04:15 AM
-making l cat happy and having her over here
-taking things one thing at a time and relaxing
-candy
-food
-sleep
-crying it out
-reflection
-makeup
-being productive
-washing my yoga mat
-getting a new ig post
-my new marble table
-compliments
-beauty
-my beauty
-cuteness
-seeing my feral cats today
-the whites of my eyes being bright white
-stretches
-finding a vintage chanel bracelet on a popular consignment website i bought
-water
-showers
-immunity boosters
-my medications
-that my feral cats have a nice outdoor heated house
-the little heater in my apartment
-ordering the david yurman gold and silver necklace i've had my eye on for awhile now
-new perspectives
-being consoled
-having a nice chest
-entertainment
-making people happy
-my phone
-the internet
-being strong
-my bed
-trees
-colors
-walking with confidence
-having a good skincare regimen
-smiling
-being a nice person

buttercup
25th January 2020, 02:57 AM
-i received a miracle today. what it was, had no logical way of happening, except being a miracle and amazing manifestation.
-God's love for me
-releasing my emotions and feelings about my inner demons and current struggles
-l cat and how pretty she is and great company
-getting my david yurman gold chatelaine necklace that matches my david yurman gold chatelaine bracelet a few years ago in the mail
-water
-taking out the trash
-cleaning and redecorating and reorganizing
-music
-sleep
-my luxury purchase i've made in the past and the unboxing of them and how fun that is
-sending my dad a gift tonight
-entertainment
-coffee
-having a nice chest
-nightskies
-l cat sleeping next to me in between the end of the couch and my legs
-pictures
-my taste in things
-candy
-physical exercise
-beauty
-my new alexander wang tote bag
-smiling
-learning
-inspiration
-being productive
-doing a little spiritual inner work today

buttercup
26th January 2020, 05:03 AM
-handling today
-a nice deep sleeping nap
-getting a miracle yesterday
-being creative
-candy
-wearing my new alexander wang bag today
-makeup
-having a great skincare regimen
-that i likely met a new progress goal this month
-stretches
-l cat and her spending the last few days here
-seeing some of my feral cats today
-getting a new lace top in the mail
-water
-showers
-setting positive intentions
-art
-my hydrating lip peel
-positive animal stories
-entertainment
-ibuprofen 800
-ideas
-having faith and deciding i will change
-fashion
-colors
-leg warmers
-slippers
-cuteness
-learning
-jumping jacks

buttercup
27th January 2020, 03:39 AM
-passing the test i was given today and being able to relax a little now
-water
-fashion
-naps
-my alexander wang bag
-doing my first face rolling session with my new vibrating rose quartz face roller and how relaxing it was
-pleasant memories
-almond milk iced lattes
-jumping jacks
-stretches
-things to look forward to
-lip injections
-colors
-having a nice chest
-candy
-entertainment
-setting positive intentions
-adding to my accomplishment book
-working on a word search puzzle
-slippers
-pillows
-beauty
-makeup
-apricot oil
-great design
-touch
-brushing my hair
-my body getting more toned
-looking young
-smiling
-prayer
-kindness
-being productive

buttercup
30th January 2020, 05:23 AM
-sleep
-desire
-my new burberry sweats and how great they fit and how comfortable they are
-coffee
-my marble end table getting set up
-sugar and sweets
-the maintenance guy coming by and M's husband working on the bathtub before he got there as well
-getting all my recaps done
-being productive
-physical exercise
-yoga
-doing positivity & spirituality exercises
-vegan food becoming more prevalent
-positive animal stories
-cuteness
-anmals
-my new vintage chanel bracelet
-plants
-blankets
-pillows
-prints
-fashion
-water
-ideas
-newness
-showering
-brushing my hair
-my beauty
-having beautiful hair
-face rolling
-setting positive intentions
-entertainment
-art
-sweaters
-drinking an immunity booster today
-being healthy

buttercup
1st February 2020, 03:31 AM
-sleep
-getting paid today
-getting a gift for my fashion photographer ex that i thought was perfect for him for valentines day
-going to work today
-almond milk lattes
-buying a cute disney snow white hairbrush
-feeling good today
-making peace with someone
-playing with my end table and choosing what items to place on it
-my vibrating face roller and how relaxing it is
-my sense of style
-water
-plants
-deciding to do something different with my hair color and that i'm going to lighten it
-entertainment
-smarties candies
-my creativity
-not eating dinner last night
-inspiration
-pillows
-brushing and blow-drying my hair
-putting more effort into my appearance when going to work again
-slippers
-wearing my vintage chanel bracelet today
-positive animal stories
-seeing veganism and plant-based diets becoming more and more the norm
-felines
-shopping
-yoga
-my ferulic acid and reservertrol acid serum i've been using and the amazing results i've been having
-ideas
-cleaning, and decluttering and rearranging things
-my medications
-smiling
-laughing
-healing
-acceptance
-surrender
-being productive
-taking vitamins and immunity booster supplement today
-setting positive intentions
-sculpting my body with physical exercise
-having great hair
-my shower working a lot better
-great deals
-being kind
-warmth
-showers
-discovering new things
-compliments
-my beauty
-having an upcoming job for my former primary career which will be great. I've been itching to do more of this for so long but have held back for various reasons
-upcoming projects i can work on for the year
-motivation
-physical exercise
-ferulic acid & reserveratrol serum
-my fashiion photographer ex getting the gin candy gift i sent him
-babies
-cuteness
-people who help animals
-the sun

buttercup
4th February 2020, 07:33 PM
-slippers
-coffee
-sleep
-not having work today
-rent check mailed off
-music
-art
-my sense of style
-talking to someone on bumble app i find kind of interesting
-lip injections
-ideas
my body getting more toned
-my new black lace top
-my black balenciaga cardigan
-my david yurman gold dome necklace
-water
-the new chocolate client i've been working for
-updating my linkedin
-white chocolate with raspberry
-my new faux marble table and how happy it makes me
-band-aids
-ativan
-my medications
-having beautiful hair
-updating my hair color and working on lightening it up a bit and being happy with the results so far
-graphic design
-beauty
-flowers
-shopping
-the air flowing in from keeping the balcony window open
-plants
-bleach getting most of the yellow stain off the kitchen floor
-cleaning, decluttering, and rearranging
-newness
-reflection
-doing some positive self check in writing
-bananas
-help from m and her husband
-blankets
-blowdrying my hair
-being productive
-calmness

buttercup
6th February 2020, 05:13 AM
-sleep
-staying strong
-talking with my ex l all day on and off
-compliments
-getting an increase on one of my cards so i was able to make my appt for my first time getting botox for next week
-m's husband giving me $20 to bring my account back to even since somehow it went negative and letting me buy some food items until my food card reloads this friday
-having nice hair
-coloring my hair the other day and how much nicer it's made my physical appearance
-hot guys
-water
-watermelon water
-my rose quartz vibrating face roller and how effective it is
-my green adidas track pants
-wearing my nintendo purse for the first time today
-how beautiful nature is
-sweaters and hoodies
-blankets
-learning
-my phone
-my medications
-coffee
-plants
-great design
-motivation
-the chocolate from the new chocolate client i've been working for and how good it is
-reminding myself i am strong, i am safe, all is well, i am capable,i can do it
-ideas
-my new exercise regimen
-entertainment
-music
-smiling
-beauty
-my sense of style
-the internet
-doing positive inner work exercises
-cute & positive animal stories
-colors
-hope
-my body getting more toned and sculpted
-healthy digestion
-facetune mobile app

buttercup
9th February 2020, 12:25 AM
-considering all the positive possibilities
-feeling good about myself
-my cheekbones starting to come out more again
-feeling like it's time to get on my grind and ready to do so
-my burberry joggers and how comfortable they are and stylish
-fashion
-brushing my hair
-how great my new hair color has made me look
-compliments and being flirted with
-sleeping off a cold and having it go away within 24 hours
-water
-my vintage chanel bracelet
-seeing something that is a sign J from my past that betrayed me horribly isn't over me, and still has money issues and may be thinking about me still more then i had realized
-slippers
-sleep
-making decisions to better myself and my life
-being productive
-being innovative and creative
-entertainment
-music
-smiling
-laughing
-the quiet space of being single that I need to heal
-having a nice backside that has gotten smoother and is going to get even more smoother
-ativan
-candy
-apricot oil
-my rose quartz vibrating face roller
-that i'm getting paid anyday now
-taking more enjoyment in my work
-colors
-appreciation
-walking today to the mailbox and the store
-the weather feeling warmer today
-having an interesting personality

buttercup
10th February 2020, 01:46 AM
-water
-vegan food
-almond milk iced lattes
-the color pink
-feeling peaceful and relaxed
-candy
-working today
-using my vibrating rose quartz face roller and how incredibly relaxed it makes me feel
-showering
-brushing my hair
-blowdrying my hair
-losing weight
-seeing my cheekbones come out more
-inspiration
-the guy from the dating app i find attractive and i moving to the phone and texting today
-my vintage chanel bracelet
-my burberry sweats
-connection
-relatability
-fashion
-having great fashion sense
-the ferulic acid and reservertrol serum i use
-positive and interesting animal news stories
-my clothes fitting loose today
-sleep
-hoodies and jackets and sweaters
-blankets
-pillows
-plants
-humor and comedy
-yoga
-dancing
-moving my body
-how great my hair looks
-my new marble end table
-things to look forward to
-slippers
-entertainment
-credit things starting to go more in my favor
-feeling healthy
-smiling
-thinking positive
-remembering happy and pleasant things
-my nintendo purse
-clean clothes
-reflection
-healing and allowing the process
-great design
-pictures
-growing as a person

buttercup
11th February 2020, 04:01 AM
-relaxing
-ibuprofen
-my reimbursement coming in
-getting my galaxy rose and white roses bear i wanted for valentines day
-being smart
-staying in a pretty content mood most of the day
-getting 1 of the 7 or so checks from last month i was waiting on sent to me
-doing laundry
-physical exercise
-laundry
-coffee
-today being sunny for some of the day
-getting my first botox treatment tomorrow
-reflection
-sleep
-style
-my clothes fitting looser and my body and face looking thinner
-vegan food
-heart warming animal stories
-animals
-felines
-cuteness
-hearing how much progress E cat is making.
-having nice hair
-being a nice person
-white chocolate with raspberry
-being selective with my spending
-slippers
-water
-my rose water face spray
-entertainment
-pillows
-my vintage chanel bracelet
-smiling
-my rose quartz vibrating face roller
-shopping
-learning
-my strength
-cleaning products
-seeing credit and bank things start to go in my favor again
-plants
-flowers
-beauty
-trees

buttercup
12th February 2020, 05:46 AM
-getting botox for the first time and only needing 5 units on each side and them saying i dont even have crows feet and how low the price was
-learning the prices on some things i want and finding out a breast lift is about half or more then half then less then what i thought because i wouldn't need an implant
-compliments
-talking to R from the dating app more and him sending me a snapshot of himself that is very sexy after asking one of me
-R from the dating app complimenting me and saying i'm gorgeous and giving me the kiss emoji
-R from the dating app being classy
-drinking more water
-being a nice person
-M's husband taking me to visit my feral cats today. They are so cute and i love them so much. She caught him but i think she's starting to get less annoyed now and we are breaking her down the barrier made because of her son.
-getting paid a check yesterday
-shopping
-buying myself a lip mask for while i'm sleeping
-the chocolate client i've been working for
-entertainment
-coffee
-my style
-humor
-black leggings
-wearing my prada socks today
-awesome uber drivers
-slippers
-sunshine
-my vibrating rose quartz face roller and what it's done for my face and relaxation
-great deals
-positive animal stories and environmental stories
-my ferulic acid and reservertrol serum
-wearing my supplement hoodie from work that i like a lot today
-pillows
-having nice lips
-how great my hair color is
-being smart
-m's husband buying me the vegan burger king meal i wanted today for lunch/dinner
-walking
-being able to see/my eyesight
-pictures
-cuteness
-a new pic to post on my ig
-hearing about people i care about's happiness
-my dad getting his gift i sent him today
-physical exercise
-doing an intention setting exercise to solar plexus chakra and theta beats music
-setting intentions in the morning now with my rose bubbles
-chocolate
-candy
-getting an appt with my psychiatrist made
-smiling
-T baby cat
-showers
-brushing and blowdrying my hair
-apricot oil
-newness
-decluttering and organizing
-growing as a person
-doing a little reading
-having nice hair
-my weight going down
-not having any recaps to do today
-ideas

buttercup
13th February 2020, 04:41 AM
ugh. one of the things besides the heartbreak and losses of 2018 that gets to me a lot is ever since the end of that year, my weight has had trouble going down. it starts to go down a little bit, but then up again and it's just made me so ashamed and lose any pep in my step i had. being thin makes me feel more confident and able to take on the world. i never thought i'd be someone with a weight this high and it's embarrassing. it keeps me from wanting to do things and go out. i am starting to be more active again and some days my clothes even feel a little slightly loose. I just think getting to my thin self is a key to getting me back. its going to happen. i know it. i just have to stay focused yet let go at the same time and do the right things.
-the sexy new guy i've been talking to
-M's husband coming by unexpectedly to finish fixing the carpet
-using bleach to clean up some stains on the counter
-my blue vive hoodie
-being cool
-coffee
-fashion
-slippers
-blankets
-cuteness
-yoga
-dancing
-the little heater in my house
-getting my reimbursement a day early
-water
-buying another vintage chanel piece last night
-pleasant memories
-plants
-M's husband bringing me over some sponges which i just happened to need
-entertainment
-humor
-my lips
-having a baby face
-art
-my cleavage
-inspiration
-brushing my hair
-blankets
-sleep
-my feral cats having their own house and that it's heated
-not taking myself too seriously
-doing positive activities
-being a nice person
-that i should be getting another check tomorrow
-clean clothes
-relaxation
-beauty
-ideas
-submitting to a new agency today
-tuning into my desires
-reflecting on my manifestations
-organizing, decluttering and rearranging
-hope
-authenticity
-my alexander wang bag
-feeling my feelings
-flowers
-nature
-being smart
-my talents
-finding out what's going on with some other payments i'm owed
-updating things
-newness
-having nice hair
-having great cheekbones
-all the amazing past photos i have from my career
-my phone
-my laptop
-peace
-quiet
-smiling
-nature
-my beauty
-my eyeglasses
-being positive
-things with my bank starting to go more in my favor
-apricot oil
-having a caring heart
-learning to become better with my interactions with others in regards to socially and dating, getting better at filtering and being patient and letting and so on.

buttercup
16th February 2020, 03:36 AM
-buying some new lingerie and getting a great deal on some really cute stuff
-compliments
-feeling like i'm being flirted with more often again
-my white rose bear and galaxy rose which is so pretty i got from dose of roses
-being talented
-sleep
-the little heater in my apartment
-drinking water
-showers
-clean clothes
-brushing and blow-drying my hair
-using rose bubbles to set intentions in the morning
-having nice curves
-getting paid the other day and it unexpectedly being a much bigger check then i expected
-hoodies and sweaters
-blankets
-chocolate
-iced almond milk lattes
-vegan food
-R from bumble app
-relaxation
-yoga
-physical exercise
-staying strong
-paying off a balanace yesterday
-the ability to see/eyesight
-getting my lip mask in the mail today
-the ferulic acid and reserveratrol serum i've been using
-being kind
-being self-aware
-how great my botox has been looking
-makeup
-shopping
-having great taste in things
-buying a new kitchen garbage can
-ideas
-taking some actions
-my authenticity
-having character and integrity
-prayer
-cuteness
-my lips
-laughing at life
-my femininity
-being unique
-M's husband giving me a ride to jobs

buttercup
17th February 2020, 03:26 AM
me and the guy i was talking to are done, before it even began. i was sad and off crying all day about it and took two extra ativans. he wanted to meet up and i said maybe then tried confiding in him about my past to overcompensate for the fact that he seemed like he felt rejected or something and i wanted to let him know it's not him and i did agree to meet up or next week then he said im not ready for dating basically. later in the evening,i gave him a piece of my mind telling him i think part of him is saying that because of his ego and that we are all works in progress and i just go with the flow and i feel like im ready to date i will and that he needs to do some growing himself, etc, etc. Very sad. I thought i liked this one. A rotten day. I was literally having anxiety all morning and thought honesty would be the best thing. Yeah,i should've filtered more that was a mistake but him and how he was is also a mistake and i can do better.
-giving R a piece of my mind later in the evening after he rejected me.
-ativan
-shopping
-coffee
-entertaiment
-relaxing
-being strong
-feeling my feelings
-fashion
-beautiful things
-being authentic to myself
-the breeze by my window
-physical exercise
-standing up for myself
-ferulic acid and reservertrol serum
-having money
-showering
-sunshine
-reading
-sleep
-being productive
-my talents
-my confidence starting to go up a little more
-cute animal stories
-staying motivated
-having empathy for others
-having nice eyes
-pleasant memories
-having nice lips
-acceptance
-surrender

buttercup
18th February 2020, 01:10 AM
-m's husband picking me up after i had a breakdown. he got me coffee and took me to a store that had reptiles and wild birds that he knew of. it was cool to interact with the birds. there were these beautiful, wise looking white macaws. it almost looked like an owl, both of them. one seemed to even want to make friends with me. we then went to a dollar store. i wanted to pick up a particular kind of vase that i had gotten at a dollar store before, and he got me some cleaning products too.
-sleep
-ativan
-water
-coffee
-letting it out. i've cried a lot of tears in the last 36 hours or so. they just wouldn't stop. my heart wouldnt stop shaking or my hands. maybe this is part of the process. i don't know.
-doing a face rolling session and how relaxing that was
-my bed
-blankets
-pillows
-the little heater in my apartment
-paying off my monthly payment for my main credit card
-hoodies
-the caramel chocolate i ate since now im not giving it to R from the app
-my marine friend R who is always so kind and genuine
my gucci sunglasses
-how great my hair looks when it's brushed
-all the blessings i have in my life
-heartwarming and cute animal stories
-having money
-slippers
-shopping
-fashion
-apricot oil
-entertainment
-deleting the dating app
-staying positive
-ordering a new marble print table cloth for the house and a new eye cream since i'll be out soon
-facetune and youcam mobile editing apps
-retouchers
-getting some jobs assigned for march
-the botox i got
-my lips
-makeup
-being motivated to make changes in my life

buttercup
19th February 2020, 04:40 AM
-cold beverages
-fashion
-getting microdermabrasion today
-sleep
-embracing the quiet and sort of keeping to myself
-beauty
-models
-my beauty
-botox
-physical exercise
-sunshine
-plants
-flowers
-having beautiful eyes
-getting perspective on the guy from the dating app site and getting over him
-love
-coffee
-strengthening my body and making it more flexible
-my rose bubbles
-paying a bill today
-having money
-having almost half my rent money for next month
-finding a better deal on lyft before i left this morning
-being a nice person
-felines
-cuteness
-entertainment
-hope
-boosting one of my social media's last night
-the cool breeze that was coming in tonight that felt good
-my lips
-getting the new garbage can i ordered in the mail
-getting some vintage chanel in the mail and that feeling good
-wearing my new gucci socks today
-blowdrying my hair
-showers
-doing laundry
-clean clothes
-magic erasers
-fun
-memories
-kind souls
-hoodies
-having nice hair
-prayer
-colors
-moisturizers
-learning
-forgiveness
-having empathy
-band-aids
-healing
-clearness
-grey marble prints
-pillows
-having a nice face
-being able to see and having eyesight
-nightskies
-being able to keep the balcony window open
-peaceful sounds

buttercup
21st February 2020, 02:03 AM
-getting my power back after R from dating app showed himself not to be very nice person
-all i have going for me
-having such a nice " " that apparently it looks fake
-having a nice body
-compliments
-showers and feeling nice and clean
-baby pictures of my cats
-reminiscing
-my ex recent J saying he still loves me
-getting my check today
-pillows
-gray marble print
-botox
-my lips
-sleep
-drinking more water
-eating a little less
-sunshine
-ordering some new skincare serum i wanted and balenciaga slides
-physical exercise
-my eyeglasses
-fashion
-great design
-updating some online things
-heart warming and positive animal stories
-coffee
-going to a forest preserve that has these massive stairs people climb up for a workout
-m's husband taking me to a grocery store to pick up some food items and a can opener
-relaxation
-colors
-feeling better today
-apricot oil
-entertainment
-getting new lingerie in the mail that is cute and a new style for me
-moisturizers
-comedy and humor
-laughing
-yoga
-inspiration
-miracles
-newness
-kindness
-ideas
-my desire to be a kinder, more giving person
-my backside getting more toned
-having great cheekbones
-smiling
-plants
-healing

buttercup
23rd February 2020, 05:16 AM
-not working today
-seeing my cats today
-the weather being nice and almost spring-like today
-bringing l cat to my house today
-napping and l cat napping with me on top of me
-blankets
-pillows
-sunshine
-having great taste
-my gucci sunglasses
-blowdrying and brushing my hair
-face rolling
-clean clothes
-journaling
-making decisons
-trying my lip mask last night before bed
-cat cuddles
-the breeze in my apartment and how good it feels
-taking out the trash
-reading
-doing laundry
-lip injections
-botox
-my reservertrol and ferulic acid serum
-buying a new tropical print throw blanket from an art site that i think will go well with my couch
-colors
-almond milk iced lattes
-pictures
-entertainment
-water
-apricot oil
-looking very young
-yoga
-physical exercise
-making my body better
-art
-fashion
-learning
-using rose bubbles to set intentions
-my femininity
-great design
-great deals
-hot guys
-trusting life
-beautiful things
-smiling
-thinking positive
-optimism

buttercup
24th February 2020, 04:02 AM
-going for a nice healthy walk today
-coffee
-my medications
-talking to a friend today about my new clarity on what im working on to heal and be better
-the weather being nice today
-yoga
-physical exercise
-drinking more water
-brushing my hair
-slippers
-being fashionable
-naps
-l cat being here
-my balenciaga shoes coming and being wrapped in a nice box big saks box and coming in the balenciaga shoe box and shoe bag
-sweets
-blankets
-sunshine
-plants
-the nice breeze from leaving the balcony door open
-entertainment
-my phone
-surrendering
-relaxation
-optimism
-my fresh lip scrub
-my rose water face spray
-beauty
-roses
-my rose bubbles i use to set intentions
-cleaning my microwave
-cuteness
-my beauty
-laughing
-humor
-emojis
-sweets
-fashion
-prayer
-my internet working well right now
-inspiration
-hope
-newness
-healing
-moving forward

buttercup
25th February 2020, 06:37 AM
-being smart
-going to the psychiatrist and therapist today
-good skincare products
-my face slimming out in photos
-iced almond milk lattes
-showering
-brushing and blowdrying my hair
-l cat being here and growing as a cat. i left her alone for just over 3 hours and she was fine.
-clean clothes
-how cute l cat is
-m's husband giving me a ride to the psychiatrist
-water
-vegan food
-yoga
-the self hypnosis i recorded last night and have been listening to
-sleep
-finishing my work recap
-my lips
-ab exercises
-the breeze in my apartment from keeping the balcony window open a bit
-how beautiful my new balenciaga shoes are that i got in the mail
-lorazapam
-feeling my feelings
-entertainment
-having great taste
-filtering
-relaxing
-peace
-smiling
-friendliness
-applying to some jobs on linkedin
-apricot oil
-beauty

buttercup
26th February 2020, 06:16 AM
-fashion
-brownies
-shopping
-water
-naps
-cute pictures of l cat
-the cute sounds l cat makes
-maple almond butter
-having great hair
-having nice lips
-all my beautiful things
-redecorating, cleaning, and reorganizing
-entertainment
-the self hypnosis i've been listening to that i made
-beauty
-femininity
-going for a walk today
-observation
-trees
-shapes
-yoga
-ab exercises
-making a digital vision board today
-learning
-doing some reading
-doing some journaling today
-prayer
-being a caring person
-having a beautiful heart
-newness
-entertainment
-quiet
-positive animal stories in the world
-being considered attractive
-new opportunities
-coffee
-ativan
-art
-great design

buttercup
29th February 2020, 03:00 AM
-rum and coke
-meeting up with my ex J tonight
-going to a neighborhood bar for drinks
-having fun
-kissing
-being considered attractive and of the 1% of top attractive
-getting paid today
-sleep
-water
-buying a balmain top
-flirting
-compliments
-water
-going for a walk today
-entertainment
-being bold
-all the cool people i've met in my years
-coffee
-makeup
-showers
-sweets
-fashion
-ativan
-laughing
-yoga
-the internet
-my bed
-cats
-cuteness
-M giving me $20 on her cashapp today
-the breeze in my apartment
-nightskies
-great design
-inspiration
-chivalry
-femininity
-music
-masculinity
-beauty
-learning
-letting my confidence grow
-my beauty
-taking care of myself
-sunshine
-having a caring and thoughtful heart
-pillows
-pictures

buttercup
1st March 2020, 06:29 AM
-having my rent money
-a friendly conversation with a neighbor
-feeling more confident
-my balenciaga cardigan
-vegan food
-sunshine
-sleep
-getting my eyebrows threaded
-my sense of style
-J improving how he treats me
-drinking a lot of water
-ibuprofen
-naps
-being smart
-beauty
-baby wipes
-clorox wipes
-my hydrating lip peel
-healthy digestion
-feeling my feelings
-shopping
-my rservertrol and ferulic acid serum
-blankets
-entertainment
-showering
-blowdrying my hair
-having great hair
-being a kind person
-laughing
-botox
-slippers
-throwing out my old trash can
-doing laundry
-beautiful things
-my beauty
-looking slim today
-clothes fitting looser
-ab exercises
-body getting stronger
-femininity
-yoga
-cuteness
-finding out my mom got approved for disability
-nightskies
-newness
-calmness
-growing as a person
-being productive

buttercup
2nd March 2020, 04:02 AM
-talking to an old acquaintance from years ago the last few days who recently got in contact with me a few months ago
-vegan food
-sir kensington's chipotle vegan mayo fabanaise
-water
-my lip sleeping mask
-my balenciaga cardigan
-getting the perfect customer recap picture at work today
-looking beautiful
-my face slimming out
-having beautiful lips
-perspective
-botox
-being stylish
-wearing my new chanel bracelet today for the first time
-having friendly neighbors
-having great hair
-showering
-my ex J showing more that he cares about me and thought about my concerns when i broke up with him
-having a nice body
-yoga
-great style and design
-great packaging
-my new tropical print sherpa blanket
-great weather today
-my grey jacket i wore today
-wearing gym shoes today
-having a toned backside
-my body getting stronger
-sunshine
-iced almond milk lattes
-reservertrol and ferulic acid serum i use
-having great curves
-compliments
-the jobs i have for primary career to dip my toes in again that field
-learning
-coffee
-blowdrying my hair
-my hydrating lip peel
-rest
-cuteness
-my child-like side
-nightskies
-the breeze that comes in from my balcony window
-my medications
-how much i've grown as a person
-forgiveness
-self acceptance
-goals
-mailing my rent check today
-looking like a ' "
-pictures
-blankets
-pillows
-peaceful sounds
-colors
-hot guys
-vibrancy
-newness
-vacuuming a little
-clorox wipes
-baby wipes
-laughing
-self love
-entertaiment
-that thrilling feeling of aliveness and excitement in the air

buttercup
3rd March 2020, 02:44 AM
-sweets
-feeling my feelings and working through it
-reflection
-my medications
-coffee
-fashion
-shopping
-water
-my lips improving in texture and softness
-entertainment
-journaling
-meditating on my balcony
-going for a walk
-cuteness
-pictures
-nice weather today
-having great curves
-my fresh lip scrub
-getting answers
-my body getting stronger
-my face getting slimmer
-brushing my hair
-my gray jacket
-wearing my new black joggers with leopard side stripe
-having great style
-vegan food
-botox
-yoga
-rest
-blankets
-pillows
-being productive
-smiling
-laughing
-newness
-confirming some jobs today
-possible opportunities
-colors
-plants
-my beauty
-makeup

buttercup
4th March 2020, 06:39 AM
-fashion
-acceptance
-botox
-my face slimming out
-vegan food
-that V might have a crush on me?
-my tropical print blanket
-my sense of style
-sunshine
-looking young
-night skies
-the breeze coming in through the balcony window
-seeing my feral cats today
-M giving me $100 today
-naps
-confirming another job today that will be good for my career
-cuteness
-pictures
-blankets
-pillows
-coffee
-sweets
-stretches
-entertainment
-naps
-my bed
-compliments
-people to text message
-healing
-my eyeglasses
-my grey jacket
-showering
-blowdrying my hair
-physical exercise
-my body getting stronger
-learning
-transformation
-reconnection
-doing a word search tonight
-the internet
-peace
-praying

buttercup
8th March 2020, 12:52 AM
-staying positive
-thinking creatively
-junk food
-spices
-vegan food
-going food shopping today
-nice weather today
-having nice curves
-getting a picture with the star of a popular TV show while at work
-the breeze at night
-sleep
-my style
-my gucci sunglasses
-being smart
-fashion
-going to that forest preseve/park with the extra long stairs and doing a workout with them
-nightskies
-my gray jacket
-beauty products
-beauty
-yoga
-getting my new bike lock i got last year onto my bike
-almond milk iced lattes
-st.patricks day donuts
-colors
-learning more about V through texting yesterday
-the internet
-blowdrying my hair
-showering
-my phone
-having nice eyes
-those who support me
-blankets
-pillows
-lightening my hair this morning
-apricot oil
-inspiration
-new ideas
-water
-plants
-reading about positive things
-yoga
-smiling
-having nice cheekbones
-entertainment
-my rose quartz vibrating face roller
-my reservertrol and ferulic acid serum
-my feral cats
-cuteness
-all the cats i love
-having nice hair
-botox
-being considered attractive
-relaxing
-being productive
-taking care of myself
-my lips
-art
-trees

buttercup
9th March 2020, 01:02 AM
-food
-vegan food
-sweets
-drinking more water today
-being a caring person and trying to help out a situation with a dog attacking another lady's dog
-fashion
-great weather today
-meditating on my balcony today
-getting some serendipties lately
-wearing my new balmain top today
-having great style
-the breeze coming in through my balcony window
-nightskies
-talking to my ex J on the phone
-how beautiful my hair looks and feels
-doing a spiritual healing exercise
-how toned my backside is
-botox
-having beautiful lips
-using my new retinol serum today
-doing laundry
-clorox wipes
-my bed
-sleep
-rest
-how soft and comfortable my new blanket is
-entertainment
-having a paid training this week
-coffee
-showers
-posting a fashion item i dont want on poshmark
-applying for disability
-applying for jobs today
-doing some reading today
-thinking positive
-new ideas
-creativity
-learning
-smiling
-laughing
-yoga
-growing as a person
-pillows

buttercup
12th March 2020, 03:40 AM
-vegan food
-relaxation
-staying productive
-using my face roller to release tension
-relaxing with some ashwagandha tea
-funny quotes and memes about the epidemic going on, as well as helpful ones
-going for a walk today
-doing some deep cleaning today and some reorganizing
-coffee
-the weather getting nicer
-brushing my hair
-the internet
-pillows
-my lip scrub
-ferulic acid and reservertrol serum
-going to my training yesterday and being out and about at a bar i wanted to go to in the past and having some drinks on the clients tab
-friendly people
-reassurances
-cuteness
-pictures
-M's husband helping me out
-yoga
-getting a check yesterday so i could pay off a bill due in a few days
-being smart
-having beautiful eyes
-my creativity
-entertainment
-music
-nightskies
-self forgiveness
-everything i have going for me
-candy
-fashion
-beauty
-leg warmers
-models
-being beautiful
-healing
-healthy digestion
-hyaluronic acid
-water
-learning
-being a nice person

buttercup
13th March 2020, 02:23 AM
-doing a deep cleaning of the apartment and getting all the dishes done and trash taken out and how much more clear my mind feels now and unstuck i feel from such simple things
-news that's reassuring
-meditating as the sky was getting dark on my balcony and how much more powerful it felt
-sleep
-candy
-water
-the black lace top im wearing
-my lip sleeping mask
-showering
-yoga
-my stomach flattening out
-plants
-colors
-nightskies
-m's husband calling to check up on me
-being productive today
-having a job tomorrow
-knowing "this too shall pass."
-fashion
-having great style
-humor and laughter
-the breeze coming in from my balcony
-models
-beautiful things
-great design
-my phone
-cuteness
-pictures
-heartwarming videos
-good news
-having great cheekbones
-learning
-coffee
-when the wind feels good
-love
-trees
-the internet
-new ideas
-my muscle tone increasing
-hand wash
-staying positive
-smiling
-inspiration
-having beautiful hair
-clorox wipes
-self-care
-things to look forward to

buttercup
15th March 2020, 03:58 AM
-having faith and surrender during this difficult time
-cold beverages
-my medications
-ibuprofen 800
-ab exercises
-kindness from others
-the breeze that comes in from my balcony window
-fashion
-coffee
-having beautiful hair
-reassurances
-being smart
-doing some reading
-turning to my spiritual roots to see how i can see all of this as a good thing, and the good in it, and the lessons i can garner from it
-good news about the virus and what's going on
-wearing my gucci socks today
-slippers
-having goals
-encouragement
-sleep
-rest
-water
-healthy digestion
-how amazing my skin looked yesterday
-entertainment
-taking some vitamins and having my apple cider vinegar supplement today
-vegan food
-candy
-following up on a refund i've been owed for awhile and getting it,and that they said they are sending me a gift of some cotton candy tubs(my favorite candy)
-doing some spiritual check in writing
-doing some writing for a possible book or article for someone's publication based on my life and making notes about it
-my phone
-the internet
-versace bright crystal perfume
-yoga
-blankets
-pillows
-self forgiveness
-my heart shaped rose quartz crystal
-having some alcohol samples of a new alcohol type i worked for yesterday
-roses
-my femininity
-cuteness
-cats

buttercup
19th March 2020, 05:04 AM
-cotton candy
-dancing
-yoga
-physical exercise
-talking to M's husband today on the phone
-coffee
-rest
-getting the living room vaccumed
-having great hair
-relief efforts the U.S is saying there will be
-word search puzzles
-entertainment
-l cat being here and how pretty and cute she is
-trusting life
-my medications
-reflection
-seeing the positive in things
-positive news articles
-water
-aloe vera
-putting my humidifier on for a few hours
-the breeze coming in through the balcony window
-my balcony
-donating money to an animal charity yesterday
-fashion
-comedy
-cat hugs
-cuteness
-my phone
-having beautiful eyes
-staying motivated
-hope
-being smart
-thinking objectively
-colors
-great skincare products
-sending /buying a toy that my feral cats love to the cats at my mom's house
-learning
-blankets
-my lintbrush

buttercup
20th March 2020, 04:46 AM
-cotton candy
-taking a nice deep sleep nap for a few hours today
-serendipity
-buying burberry socks online
-more good relief news in the U.S
-apple cider vinegar
-water
-the beautiful sounds L cat makes
-coffee
-buying cat litter and more things needed from store
-my phone
-making a self hypnosis audio
-fashion
-good skincare products
-being beautiful
-kindness
-community
-physical exercise
-dancing
-yoga
-getting my body stronger
-peaceful sounds
-an amazing journaling session
-chemical peels
-leg warmers
-blankets
-pillows
-the internet
-staying positive
-my recurring dream changing and becoming less violent
-great ideas
-inspiration

buttercup
26th March 2020, 04:23 AM
-my weight dropping and clothes fitting loose from skipping meals
-light and lighting. nice lighting that can just change a mood so much.
-the breeze in my apartment from the balcony window
-cotton candy
-french toast
-potatoes
-that it was sunny out today
-putting my zygocactus in the sun today
-candy
-wearing spring time shoes(my slides) for the first time this year and season and how nice that felt
-walking to the grocery store
-my new textured face roller
-chemical peels
-how great my face and skin been looking
-wearing my leisure black track pants with leopard print on the sides today
-having great style
-good news
-lorazapam
-an acquaintance selflessly who is doing ok right now with finances with all the things shut down sending me $100. That was so beautiful and unexpected
-my laptop computer
-talking to my ex today on the phone
-blankets
-pillows
-sleep
-rest
-beautiful things
-being beautiful
-connecting more with my old acquaintance V yesterday but then he got weird on me again today
-showers
-cats
-cuteness
-hugs
-my phone and people to text
-newness
-learning
-calmness
-trying to be productive
-innovaton
-being smart
-having amazing hair
-hoodies
-surrendering
-being included in the relief package by my president
-peace
-feeling positive
-having a kind heart
-showering
-slippers
-m's husband being there for me and M
-peaceful sounds

buttercup
2nd April 2020, 03:00 AM
-community
-that i'm eligible for stimulus check coming and disaster unemployment assistance
-m's husband telling me to find out about an extra step i need to take since i didnt file taxes for the last two years
-cotton candy
-alcoholic beverages
-pills that calm me down and taking them safely
-music
-the breeze that comes in from my balcony window
-newness
-hot soothing tea
-face rollers for relieving tension and making me look youthful
-sleeping masks for face and lips
-apple cider vinegar and all it's benefits
-sleep
-being able to talk to m's husband
-having some trust in my government and in God
-feeling like this is all happening because God wants us to mediate
-new adidas socks
-that we don't have to pay rent and doing my part to help make protections for not having to pay rent during all this possible
-my phone
-my hair looking lighter
-my face looking young
-going for a walk today
-sunshine
-finding a really cool, chic laundry products and home cleaning products line and buying some
-getting another payment i'm supposed to make monthly deferred until june
-art
-inspiration
-staying strong
-motivation
-great lighting
-beautiful things
-blankets
-yoga
-learning
-discovering new things
-laughter and humor
-being kind to others
-cuteness
-fashion
-great deals
-the internet
-nightskies
-relaxation
-remembering nice things
-smiling
-meditation

buttercup
3rd April 2020, 05:56 AM
-colors
-relaxing
-reassurances
-indication that my unemployment assistance should be coming soon
-m's husband being more there for me lately it seems
-having a nice body
-having a nice young face
-blankets
-getting my almond milk iced latte today
-beautiful weather today
-friendly police officers at a store today
-m's husband buying me my majesty palm plant i love that i've been wanting again for awhile
-m's husband taking me to the bank further from the house so i can get out of the house for longer
-blankets
-ibuprofen 800
-pillows
-showering
-blow-drying my hair
-aloe vera
-water
-seeing toilet paper at the store by my house for the first time in awhile which was nice
-conversation
-pictures
-forgiveness
-my gucci shades
-my rose face face spray
-brushing my hair
-my givenchy slides
-my great taste
-realizing there's a lot i have to work on
-being an adult
-music
-thinking of the positive sides to things
-cuteness
-fashion
-making little efforts to make my life better, cheer myself up
-being able to think for myself
-plants
-beauty

buttercup
4th April 2020, 05:52 AM
-plants
-colors
-beautiful weather today
-staying determined to make today an ok day and succeeding
-getting something indicating my unemployment is on the way
-my beautiful majesty palm plant and how much happier it makes my house feel
-meditating and writing affirmations on my balcony today
-reassurances
-calming down
-ice cold water
-nightskies
-naps
-yoga
-entertainment
-beauty
-brushing my hair
-deep cleansing breaths
-inspiration
-reaching out to people on social media
-baby wipes
-m's husband to reach out to
-baby wipes
-beauty products
-femininity
-painting my toenails with my new chanel nail polish since i cant get a pedicure right now
-smiling
-peace
-nice lighting
-looking on the bright side of things
-being able to think for myself
-imagining myself as beautiful
-nightskies
-the breeze by my balcony window
-cleaning out my promo closet
-the internet
-entertainment
-the hair lightening process i've been doing working
-art

buttercup
5th April 2020, 05:49 AM
-plants
-my majesty palm plant
-flowers
-sleep
-going to the bank again today and getting my new account usable, somewhat
-heart-warming stories
-cuteness
-ice cold water
-getting some progress done on cleaning my promo closet
-ideas
-good tasting food
-talking to people online
-brushing my hair
-yoga
-surrender
-positive news stories
-iced almond milk lattes
-entertainment
-aloe vera
-feeling relaxed
-candy
-toning my body
-the breeze that comes through my balcony window
-donating money to an animal charity the other day
-colors
-the internet
-making effort
-thinking positive
-staying strong
-positive things to daydream about
-pictures

buttercup
10th April 2020, 07:20 AM
-candy
-peaceful sounds
-taking my workouts more seriously and feeling a result from it and seeing the beginnings of a result
-bad things turning into good things
-sweating from working out
-that i have funds now from my overdraft protection to pay my rent
-that the president briefings sound optimistic about re-opening the country
-doing the turbo tax thing to try and get my stimulus check quicker
-being productive and staying informed.
-fashion
-sunshine
-hyaluronic acid
-surrendering and turning to God
-prayer
-meditation
-cats
-pictures
-after finding out one of my accounts was closed unexpectedly and through no fault of my own, getting a new one open and now with more funds without having to keep effort on that one at the moment but just having more funds now when i need them
-the breeze that comes through my balcony window
-good music to dance to
-m's husband helping me today and being nice to me
-supporting friends
-ordering my mom two cat litter boxes and sending them to her
-my rose face mist
-iced almond milk lattes
-getting the new toilet seat installed. had to exchange the pink as it was too long, but now have a classy looking wood one that makes my bathroom look much nicer then it did before
-hand wash
-optimism and seeing the silver lining
-being resourceful and creative
-animals
-my femininity
-my rose quartz heart
-getting another payment deferred today
-nice lighting
-sleep
-having a young looking face
-water
-plants
-flowers
-community
-learning
-reading
-new experiences
-smiling
-laughing
-kindness
-my balcony
-remembering pleasant memories
-nightskies
-the air getting cleaner from the lockdowns

buttercup
24th April 2020, 03:31 AM
-h cat now being in my posession, found, and has been to vet and doing all i can to heal him. he looks better then this morning and i am so grateful to God for bring H cat to us, and able to get him to the vet
-learning
-tapering off my anxiety meds. finally making the decision and doing it. going back on a simpler antidepressant
-physical exercise
-the taste of sweets
-the power of love
-my voice on audio recordings seeming to help H cat
-people who are being there for me through the hardships i've had lately
-taking things a little at a time
-taking risks
-finding a loose little dog, and bringing it to my house after not being able to find where it lives, and having it reunited with it's owners within a few hours
-deciding to buy a rainbow bridge pop up card after finding out the woman across the street from me's dog had passed on after an incident i was somewhat witness to. I thought her dog was fine but her husband or boyfriend told me and M the dog ended up dying. I felt so bad and inclined to get her the card which should arrive soon.
-blankets
-clean clothes
-showering
-brushing my hair
-compliments
-being smart
-caring people
-deleting all my phone numbers except for very few such as essential numbers
-beautiful weather
-music
-relief
-saying how i feel sometimes
-having a caring heart
-nightskies
-finding a stain remover finally that works on mustard.
-getting some refunds on things i never got or that didn't work out well
-calmness
-colors
-being there for others
-cuddling
-my pink heart shaped rose quartz
-taking breaks
-naps
-prayer
-my rose face spray

buttercup
1st May 2020, 04:54 AM
-h cat's teeth looking less yellow now
-h cat curling up in a ball and letting me hold in my arms while we lay down and rest, and he has his arm around me
-h cat drinking water(that i dosed with lysine) for almost a full minute today. The first time i seen him do that on his own since i've been nursing him
-h cat letting out a nice relaxed looking yawn when i went to go check on him last
-getting my stimulus check
-music
-entertainment
-my rose face mist
-tapering off my anxiety med dose and being on a simpler antidepressant now
-self forgiveness
-doing a little workout
-the new vet we took h cat to
-h cat's eyes clearing up from the mucus for the most part and being able to see his beautiful eyes
-my conviction
-taking risks
-sweet beverages
-natural healing
-beautiful weather
-M's husband being there for H cat and helping him
-stretches
-coffee
-the internet
-research
-socks
-blankets
-seeing some little signs of normalcy and the country reopening
-being an independent thinker
-looking young
-being smart
-the power of love
-feeling my feelings
-working on organizing my bed and closet
-my femininity
-touch
-hope
-kindness
-finding a little dog loose the other day and bringing it home with me and being able to find it's owners within a few hours
-getting a beautiful rainbow bridge card for a neighbor who's dog had passed on a few weeks ago that i found out about
-comedy
-laughing at life
-fashion
-getting an appt for lip injections for next month
-getting another credit card payment deferred
-trying to live a heart-centered existence
-my taste in things and cleverness
-cleaning products
-my pink prada sunglasses

buttercup
5th May 2020, 12:35 AM
-looking younger lately
-hearing things about the country possibly re-opening
-my new givenchy pink slides
-banana twinkies
-smiling
-being youthful
-being able to think for myself
-heart-warming animal stories
-having great style
-H cat eating and drinking again and having more energy and his eyes looking less red
-cuteness
-love
-how friendly the neighborhood seemed when i went for a walk yesterday and the neighbor i gave a card to who's dog had passed on thanking me and introducing me to her new dog
-art
-music
-fashion
-focusing more on fitness and self-care
-feeling my feelings
-great design
-showering
-my banana scented leave in conditioner spray
-apple cider vinegar
-being smart
-beauty
-being productive
-beautiful weather yesterday
-walking
-kindness
-entertainment
-cleaning
-having a sense of humor
-having great hair
-having goals
-inspiration
-trees
-colors
-blankets
-buying some great deals from the maker of botox that was on sale

buttercup
6th May 2020, 05:45 AM
-entertainment
-inspiration
-keeping my mind strong
-H cat feeling less bony and having more energy and playing a little
-my time freeze peptide water sleeping mask
-my lips being more moisturized today
-my burberry sweats
-ab exercises
-naps
-detoxing
-being smart
-being mature
-my skin looking glowy and young lately
-art
-physical exercise
-doing laundry
-how healthy my hair is
-going with m's husband for drive and to pick up some stuff
-being happy for others
-blankets
-beauty
-my internet
-hot guys
-compassion
-sir kensington chipotle fabanaise
-coffee
-banana twinkies
-brushing my hair
-my sense of style

buttercup
9th May 2020, 05:00 AM
-having a nice chest
-having new hair
-my femininity
-having a caring heart
-flattery
-coffee
-H cat jumping better
-learning
-H cat's eyes looking a lot better
-cuteness
-H's cat's cuteness and personality
-ativan
-water
-rest
-breaks
-news about my unemployment
-getting more deferral on one of my credit cards
-my new daybed
-having great taste
-H cat having more energy
-prayer
-my creativity
-my intelligence
-my sense of style
-my beauty
-cbd oil
-trying vitamin c supplementation for H cat
-beauty
-inspiration
-cuddling with H cat
-love
-pillows
-lip balm
-hyaluronic acid
-clean clothes
-showering
-doing laundry
-sweeping the dining room floor
-having goals and desires
-pleasant memories
-ideas

buttercup
11th May 2020, 01:03 AM
-H cat gaining weight and eating and drinking.
-H cat having more energy
-being strong
-H cat having a vet appt tomorrow
-cbd oil
-being able to take care of and heal H cat
-showering
-mopping the dining room floor
-having great style
-weight going down slightly
-doing well on a smaller dose of my anxiety medication now
-walking
-that i can apply for my unemployment assistance tomorrow
-coffee
-doing a journaling session on my balcony last evening that was very helpful
-stretching
-being smart
-fashion
-music
-being an inspiration to others
-being helpful
-disinfectants
-looking like a model
-beauty
-goals
-hard seltzer
-detoxing
-my conviction
-clean clothes
-getting another financial thing deferred until july
-my creativity
-being resourceful
-looking young
-blankets
-towels
-sleep
-sweets

buttercup
12th May 2020, 03:45 AM
-entertainment
-H cat's fever being gone
-vet saying H cat looks a lot better
-naps
-stretching
-weight dropping
-successfully tapering off to a lower dose of my anxiety medicine
-hyaluronic acid
-the internet
-being nice
-having great style
-applying for states' unemployment finally for self employed people
-felines
-coffee
-showering
-clean clothes
-ordering a cute eyeshadow palette i wanted
-getting some art statement totebags i wanted
-blankets
-pillows
-rest
-calmness
-feeling like everything will be ok
-my phone
-my maturity and growing as a person
-sunshine
-healing
-prayer
-setting positive intentions
-redecorating and putting things in new places
-cleaning
-ideas
-newness
-having nice hair
-getting vegan burger king meal for lunch/dinner today
-water
-doing laundry
-surrendering
-cuteness
-laughing

buttercup
14th May 2020, 04:09 AM
-tissues
-wash scrubs
-towels
-disinfectants
-cleaning products
-water
-blankets
-the fresh breeze coming in
-cold beverages
-sunshine
-walking nightskies
-resting
-H cat's sneezing and leaking nose cutting down dramatically
-H cat's eyes looking so much better
-looking so young
-hair ties
-showering
-peaceful sounds
-music
-deciding to add botox to my upcoming appt and taking selfies to study what i want to get done at my next appt
-having beautiful eyes
-entertainment
-colors
-beauty
-trees
-buying more hair bleach and a hair mask for my hair
-succeeding in the semi detox of my anxiety medication
-chivalry
-retinol serum
-that the world is becoming kinder to animals
-cuteness
-optimism
-my beauty
-laughing

buttercup
18th May 2020, 02:20 AM
-washing my face
-having great hair
-gaining more confidence
-new styles
-doing a great job with my semi-detox
-colors
-water
-coloring
-self-care
-yoga
-my black with leopard print stripe track pants
-looking so young
-having great style
-H cat and how much better he is doing
-my governor banning filing of evictions right now
-certifying for my unemployment assistance
-walking
-healing
-pleasant memories
-hugging H cat
-cuteness
-cleaning products
-that i might be able to go get my eyebrows threaded in 2 weeks
-music
-my balcony
-sunshine
-beautiful weather
-night skies
-newness
-peace
-feeling my feelings
-rest
-smiling
-coffee
-innovation
-the internet
-being strong

buttercup
21st May 2020, 08:11 PM
-H cat doing about 93% better and thriving
-taking back my confidence after the harassement that triggered my ptsd.
-going for a 2 mile walk
-clear blue skies
-seeing cats, bunnies, and other animals
-coffee
-getting my hair lighter
-having beautiful eyes
-that more things are opening in less then 2 weeks and restrictions have been loosened
-that i should be able to get my eyebrows threaded in less then 2 weeks
-that i can get my botox, lips, and filler in june
-having great style
-beauty products
-the internet
-that i should have my unemployment anyday now
-smiling
-having amazing cheekbones
-having amazing lips
-my venus dimples
-rest
-self-care
-H cat being so cuddly
-groceries in the house
-M's husband being nice
-doing good with semi-detoxing
-coloring
-blankets
-sleep
-cuteness
-humor and comedy
-trees
-water
-newness
-still trying to file the police report
-relaxation
-getting black garbage bags to deter the tenant who harassed me from going through my garbage
-being smart
-being able to think independently
-inspiration
-yoga and stretching
-pictures
-innovation
-having thick healthy hair
-my fabric refresh spray

buttercup
24th May 2020, 04:21 AM
-sleeping face masks
-rest
-water
-drinking more water
-apple cider vinegar
-H cat's eyes looking so much more relaxed
-H cat playing more
-the breeze by my balcony window
-going for a 2 mile round trip walk
-succeeding in my semi detox
-sunshine
-clear blue skies
-trees
-colors
-entertainment
-face rolling
-my beauty
-yoga
-enjoying the feeling of getting stronger, more flexible, and more aesthetic looking
-H cat getting his cbd cat treats in the mail and liking them
-my unemployment looking to come in anyday now
-doing laundry
-taking out the trash
-saying a prayer for the little dead bird i seen today and putting a gold rose from my house by the bird
-meditating
-relaxation
-night skies
-showering
-cuteness
-cuddles with H cat
-embracing newness
-my daybed
-sleep
-optimism
-being creative
-being smart
-looking young
-moisturizers
-sending out emails
-doing "activism" by emailing senators, alderman and such about issues
-having great lips
-blankets
-vibrancy
-slippers
-smiling
-being a nice person
-healing
-the internet
-my phone
-having great hair
-being strong
-fashion

buttercup
25th May 2020, 03:44 AM
-H cat looking and feeling so much better
-being creative
-going for a nice 2 mile walk
-feeling more energetic and more upbeat from increasing my movement
-my digestion improving
-drinking more water
-aloe vera
-apple cider vinegar
-H cat liking the cbd treats i got him
-ice cold water
-coffee
-getting my power back
-my unemployment coming in any day now
-sweating and releasing endoprhins
-colors
-pictures
-cuteness
-bonding with H cat
-trees
-sunshine
-vacuuming the living room floor
-shedding away old layers of me and becoming new
-my sense of style
-discovering new things
-my beauty
-my stomach getting flatter
-vegan cherry garcia ben and jerrys ice cream
-tangerine flavored mikes hard lemonade
-sleep
-sleeping masks
-having great hair
-adidas socks
-my butt getting more toned and rounded
-looking so young
-blankets
-my daybed
-beauty
-being a nice person
-relaxing
-setting positive intentions
-my feral cats
-my femininity
-fun
-my moms cat and brothers cat and moms dog
-phone calls from m's husband
-being unique
-hip stretches
-being smart
-my rose water face mist
-humor and laughing

buttercup
27th May 2020, 01:45 AM
-freedom
-cuddles with H cat
-how cute H cat is
-how healthy H cat's eyes look
-having my unemployment now
-getting a response from my alderman today
-taking my vitamins
-sleep
-going for a walk
-after being called a "------- -----" and having "mental issues" the tenant who harassed me sent the cops over to apologize and said he said things he shouldn't have and will leave me alone and that he knows my family friend politely asked him to leave me alone and the police reassured saying no he didn't file a report he just wanted to apologize and doesn't want any trouble. it was weird, but at least it had him admitting he was wrong.
-having a vet appt for H cat tommorow
-drinking more water
-coffee
-going for my walk that's aiming for miles now
-feeling my lower body getting more toned
-cleaning products
-having healthy hair
-my retinol serum with argan oil. it feels so luxe using it.
-a rainbow appearing on my wall over my decal that says dreams do come true from the sun shining in my house
-lighting
-being nice
-transforming into a new person
-all the funds i have available for fillers and botox
-my rose water face mist
-being smart
-cleaning the walls some
-colors
-design
-having nice lips
-having nice eyes
-being consistent with doing things for weight loss
-the internet
-being realistic with myself
-being strong
-yoga
-getting my power back
-hope
-detoxing
-newness
-passion
-looking like a baby doll
-being unique
-being open minded
-having done some cool things in my life
-feeling my feelings
-my balcony
-baby wipes
-finding enjoyment in the little things
-being productive
-ideas
-my sense of style
-love
-smiling
-my creativity

buttercup
28th May 2020, 03:44 AM
-vegan food
-beauty products
-pillows
-getting a lot done today
-having my unemployment money now
-H cat gaining 4 lbs. Made my day
-a rainbow showing up on my wall over one of my inspirational wall decals from the sun and taking a photo of it
-being creative
-appreciating the little things
-sleeping masks
-inspirational videos
-walking
-getting laundry done
-H cat looking more relaxed today
-iced lattes
-going to whole foods today
-getting more flexible
-a new way to take my detoxing a step further
-drinking more water
-air conditioning
-laughing
-amusement
-being able to think independently
-fashion and style
-feeling more energized and positive
-sleep
-sunshine
-trees
-vibrancy
-self nourishment
-m's husbands help
-my endurance increasing
-cuddles with H cat
-colors
-my face seeming like it looked slightly thinner today
-having great bone structure
-looking so young
-being a nonconformist
-meditative thoughts
-rest
-taking my vitamins
-being a nice person
-heartwarming animal stories
-cuteness

buttercup
29th May 2020, 03:03 AM
-feeling good
-the weather cooling down
-my walks making my mindset feeling better
-buying a neon heart light
-H cat looking better and his fur regrowing and knowing we will heal his skin
-drinking more water
-coffee
-washing my hair
-showering
-my track pants with the leopard print side panel
-cuteness
-love
-losing the slightest bit of weight and feeling my clothes fit just the slightest bit better
-sleep
-vegan food
-mike's hard lemonade tangerine flavor
-moisturizers
-cleaning products
-stretches
-rest
-paying off a bill i had deferred the last few months
-mailing my rent check today
-being smart
-being able to think independently
-going down now to no more then 3/4 of my normal dose of my ativan compared to the full dose every third day which i feel really good about
-the internet
-being friendly
-fashion and style
-finding an adorable cat family pop-up card and including H cat's picture to send to the vet as a thank you
-my beauty
-pulling my hair back in a ponytail
-the breeze from the balcony
-relaxation
-buying a cooling cat bowl for the feral cats
-blankets
-light and lighting
-beauty
-inspiration
-my holographic galaxy rose
-the country opening up little by little
-my unemployment funds
-optimism
-being creative
-utilizing my resources
-newness

buttercup
31st May 2020, 12:07 AM
-going for my walk by miles even though i felt a little anxiety this time. my walk by miles has so far made my clothes fit very slightly better, brought me more endurance, more energy, and increased mood, and a little increase in flexibility.
-being kind
-being smart
-tissue salts. wow. i had bad allergies yesterday and a little bit today, and that helped the most with making them go away. impressed.
-blankets
-sunshine
-trees
-enjoying the blonding process of my hair and how much younger it makes me look
-kindness
-all the cute and funny things H cat does
-fashion and style
-my unemployment funds
-how great my hair looks and feels
-gift boxes
-getting my burberry hoodie i ordered in the mail
-vegan food
-reflection
-feeling my feelings
-my moschino so fresh perfume
-setting intentions
-hydrocodone
-cleanliness
-rest
-love
-hope

buttercup
3rd June 2020, 05:05 AM
-the guy who moved in below me and i finally having a moment, two actually that brought us together and had us exchange numbers and hang out, get drunk and hook up. He also revealed he was watching me before he came in the 2nd time yesterday and seen me get my vegan burgers by asking how are they and then telling me he was watching me and was actually going to stop at the gas station before he came home, but seen me and changed his mind because he wanted to try and run into me in the hallway. it was perfect how we ended up running into each other that 2nd time. Definitely seemed the universe brought it together! And, we have been getting along really well since.
-rest
-water
-being able to think for myself
-rational-minded people speaking up about the craziness going on
-ibuprofen
-the neighbor across the street being so sweet and coming to my door in tears saying she heard about what my neighbor who harassed me did to me, calling me a little girl and telling me she misjudged me in the past,and wants to be my friend and will be there for me. I hung out with her last night, and she revealed that the neighbor harassing me did it because he wants to sleep with me which once i've told people that she said that, everyone has told me well that's obvious.
-having beautiful hair
-D the guy below me making me feel attractive yesterday and sharing kisses
-kindness of others
-H cat looking great and thriving
-coffee
-showering
-makeup
-sleep
-my new burberry hoodie and how beautiful it is
-that my city is moving into the next phase of reopening
-air conditioning
-having a caring heart
-deciding to buy a fitbit to motivate myself more for losing weight and moving more
-skinny pictures of me
-cuddles with H cat
-being smart
-being confident my looks can only get better now from here with the way i'm doing fitness, getting a fitbit, the blondifying process looking better and going to the next stage of it in a week or two, being able to go get my eyebrows threaded this week, having my lips, filler, and botox appt next week, detoxing from my anxiety meds, etc, etc
-being easy on myself
-my phone
-paying off bills and catching up on rent
-smiling
-being considered cute
-clean clothes

buttercup
5th June 2020, 05:13 AM
-being sweet
-having someone to talk to that i have things in common with
-sleeping masks
-my sense of fashion
-going on an empowered walk today
-iced almond milk lattes
-my burberry hoodie
-things chilling out
-finding out the nail salon i like by my house is open tomorrow
-rest
-showers
-the vet saying H cat can now have visitors
-getting my eyebrows threaded the other day
-talking to my most recent ex J tonight
-sunshine
-drinking more water
-M's husband taking me to get out of the house yesterday and see how things are and having some normality after tense times of very unnormality
-blankets
-reassurances
-how my hair looks
-people being kind
-trying to save a kitten yesterday with M's husband yesterday
-bath salt bombs to detox
-beauty
-unique beauty
-compliments
-being asked out by a guy who is chivalrous and will send a lyft to get me and said we could go to the ♥♥♥♥♥ tower balcony for dinner and watch the sunset at his place and he can show me his artwork and he also offered to hire me for something
-having beautiful eyes
-colors
-self nourishment
-beautiful things
-my femininiy
-my child-like side
-laughing at life
-tissue salts
-indian food
-chivalry
-peaceful sounds
-peace
-being smart
-being of help

buttercup
7th June 2020, 07:31 AM
-rest
-trying out my fitbit
-sour patch chips ahoy cookies
-doing an intention setting exercise
-buying myself a gucci purse last night
-losing weight
-sunshine
-the weather cooling down
-smiling
-having beautiful hair
-compliments
-being treated like a woman
-my femininity
-expressing my feelings
-protein rich foods
-nourishment
-my sense of style
-cuteness
-humor
-trying to make a positive difference
-drinking more water
-eating smaller portions
-colors
-my clothes starting to fit better
-great design
-donating to charity
-talking on the phone to a friend
-being considered beautiful
-my retinol hand serum
-love
-compassion
-fun
-working on being more empowered
-flowers
-plants
-being empathetic
-being able to think for myself
-yoga
-squats
-looking very young
-working on loving and accepting myself
-my unemployment funds
-beauty products
-cleaning
-clean clothes

buttercup
9th June 2020, 05:52 AM
-seeing my stomach start to flatten out
-my clothes fitting better
-L cat and H cat nose kissing twice so far that i've seen now
-H cat not being scared of L cat
-my fitbit
-going for longer walks now
-finding an amount of ativan i can lower down to that isn't uncomfortable
-catching up on sleep
-water
-drinking more water
-eating a lot less
-my femininity
-masculinity
-having beautiful hair
-having beautiful eyes
-having more energy lately and endurance
-my moschino so fresh pink couture perfume
-having a new gucci purse coming to me this week
-my retinol hand serum
-new cleaning products i've tried that work great
-being a nice person
-being smart
-being able to to think for myself
-talking to my therapist today
-considering taking a strong anxiety medication on an as needed basis to help with the stress from the riots and being harassed by my neighbor
-my hydrating lip peel
-my spray sunblock with hyaluronic acid
-cuteness
-having a ride to my appointment tomorrow
-my gucci socks
-showering
-my phone
-having a great eye for aesthetics
-the lights off and blinds shut for relaxing
-taking my power back
-plants
-colors
-nightskies
-things calming down
-smiling
-squats
-yoga
-cleaning my yoga mat
-face mists
-art
-hope
-sleeping masks
-deciding to buy a new litter box since H cat keeps kicking his litter out of the box
-my unemployment funds
-pillows
-blankets
-air conditioning

buttercup
12th June 2020, 04:27 AM
-defending myself after the attacks my most recent ex
-going to a fun shop today which was a new experience
-the vegan breakast sandwich i had today
-cuteness
-M's husband taking me to get out of the house today when i was upset
-new guy D seeming to want to work things out with me when i was upset today
-squats
-paying my mom's phone bill today
-my new gucci purse
-sunshine
-coffee
-hydrocodone
-reassurances and support
-being kind
-neighbors helping me when my mom accidentally locked me out of my apartment and it took me over 20 minutes to figure out which key to use to get the lock she locked on me open
-my new lips, botox,and filler
-being beautiful
-my hair
-my eyes
-showering
-starting to sleep better again
-self forgiveness
-shopping
-my confidence growing
-blankets
-weather cooling down a bit
-hairties
-being able to relax
-face mists
-my unemployment funds
-beauty products

buttercup
15th June 2020, 02:42 AM
-letting go
-going for my fitbit walk today
-my hair bleaching process going very well last night
-my new gucci purse
-killing all the flies
-nice weather today
-water
-sleep
-my insomnia going away
-having more energy and endurance now
-ideas
-squats
-tissue salts
-Horus being playful and having a lot of energy
-blankets
-nightskies
-cat cuddles
-my retinol hand cream
-the olive oil hair mask i use for my hair especially after bleaching it
-ideas
-a girl in my industry offering to brainstorm together with me career ideas
-newness
-fashion
-music
-tangerine mike's hard lemonades
-protein rich foods
-nourhshment
-cleaning
-taking all the garbage out last night and today
-diffusing lavender in my humidifier

buttercup
17th June 2020, 06:17 AM
-aloe vera
-upping my walks to 5 miles
-H cat cuddling with me and waking up to him behind my head
-finding marbles for H cat to play with
-how pretty my cats are
-my new blonde hair color
-my insomnia going away
-protein rich foods
-water
-fitting into my clothes better and into clothes i couldn't a week ago
-talking things out with D and him saying he has feelings for me and not seeming to want me to go away
-being nice
-ordering some fendi joggers
-marbles
-hope
-kindness
-the internet
-tapering off my ativan so successfully
-great beauty products
-being productive
-creativity
-getting caught up on beauty and wellness appointments

buttercup
18th June 2020, 07:07 AM
-talking to my older neighbor D who i havent seen in awhile
-doing good with taking space from neighbor D i started a thing with after we had an argument and talked things out last night
-naps
-compromise
-surrender
-night skies
-meditation
-clarity
-ideas
-baby wipes
-naps
-calmness
-squats
-blankets
-makeup
-my fit
-my unemployment
-H cat being sweet and making me laugh
-my balcony
-H cat laying on L cat
-how cute L and H cat are
-aloe vera
-water
-people speaking up against the mob mentality
-kindness
-art
-ideas
-sleeping masks
-water

buttercup
21st June 2020, 06:52 AM
-people who do good things
-being a kind person
-doing my 5 mile walk today
-my lower body getting more toned
-my new fendi joggers
-H cat doing well back home
-getting pictures of H cat at home
-sleeping more
-feeling my feelings
-colors
-ice cold water
-being strong
-being motivated
-air conditioning
-cleaning
-being a thoughtful person
-my beauty products
-squats
-booking a life coaching session
-starting a new animal advocacy project
-that D, the guy below me i like is thoughtful and sweet
-aloe vera
-more people speaking out against mob mentality
-my new adidas socks
-smiling
-more things coming back to normal
-having goals
-sending stuff to my dad for father's day
-finally buying some frames i needed
-fashion
-pillows

buttercup
22nd June 2020, 05:28 AM
-being smart
-being patient
-being kind
-aloe vera
-hydrocodone
-face rolling
-certifying for unemployment
-updating and job searching on linkedin
-cold water
-startbucks almond milk chilled espresso beverage from the grocery store
-music
-having amazing fashion sense
-taking some new pics for social media
-opening myself up to aliveness
-finishing reading a book i've been working on since last year
-doing a yin yoga session from youtube i like
-wearing my pink givenchy slides for the first time
-doing laundry
-self acceptance
-sleep
-H cat doing very well back with the other cats
-having beautiful eyes
-being considered beautiful

buttercup
25th June 2020, 02:50 AM
-relaxation
-meditation
-ordering a iced latte and beyond sausage breakfast sandwich to my place
-getting a ride to the grocery store today
-having great hair
-that i think D downstairs cares about me. And to just surrender and let go with my confusion
-nightskies
-air conditioning
-being beautiful
-having great fashion sense
-buying some luxurious pink roses for my birthday coming up
-fashion
-prayer
-yoga
-being smart
-sleep
-rest
-deciding the next step for my weight loss is a soda pop detox
-my femininity
-the internet
-my neon heart lamp
-getting my H cat print framed
-massage

buttercup
26th June 2020, 06:29 AM
-that D seems to care, and tries and doesnt want me gone
-my abs being sore
-yoga
-walking 5 miles today
-my fitbit
-a shirt i bought earlier in the year that didn't fit me nicely, fitting me better today. More weight loss progress. :)
-love
-apple cider vinegar
-cutting down on soda and succeeding so far
-drinking a quart of water when i woke up
-having beautiful hair
-sleep
-naps
-applying to jobs
-emailing a contact about something business related
-my fabric refresh spray
-fashion
-nice weather today
-quality skincare products
-being beautiful
-my heart shaped neon light
-people seeming to wake up about the riots and things going on
-indian food
-cleaning products
-relaxation
-ibuprofen
-showers
-makeup
-self care
-being a nice person
-appreciation
-prayer
-setting positive intentions
-starbucks almond milk refrigerated cafe latte from the grocery store
-a new song coming out from one of my favorite music artists that i love
-the smell of sandalwood

buttercup
27th June 2020, 06:54 AM
-more people waking up to what's going on with the terrorist attacks in the U.S
-prayer
-indian food
-sleep
-cutting down on soda
-my clothes starting to fit better
-my breasts and arms slimming out
-my stomach slimming out
-drinking more water
-coffee
-having beautiful hair
-D downstairs and i having a normal conversation and telling him one of my apprehensions and him seeming to care what i think and wanting to fix the issue
-yin yoga
-doing some toning workout for the lower body
-doing laundry
-looking younger and refreshed
-sleeping masks
-deodorant
-comedy
-applying to some more jobs today
-having nice lips
-the breeze and beautiful color of the sky and the rainbow i seen on my balcony after a storm
-laughing
-nourishment
-self care
-being kind
-intelligence
-my neon heart lamp

buttercup
28th June 2020, 08:09 AM
-sleep
-naps
-water
-drinking more water and less soda
-aloe vera
-looking younger
-M's husband coming by to take me to get out of the house for awhile
-H cat doing well
-air conditioning
-prayer
-meditating
-M's husband saying i look a little slimmer
-yoga
-massage
-good skincare products
-fitness
-entertainment
-comedy
-night skies
-doing a writing exercise to clarify what i want
-fashion
-my antidepressant
-having great taste
-vegan protein foods
-self nourishment
-justice
-empathy
-laughing at life

buttercup
3rd July 2020, 06:58 AM
-staying strong despite everything having gone wrong today
-my face being unique
-embracing my slight crazy
-having m's husband in my life
-hope
-my neon heart lamp
-walking for 6 miles today
-my hair color
-drinking a lot of water
-air conditioning
-sleep
-deleting all my phone numbers except a few essential ones again
-my lip mask
-new opportunities for first career coming up
-making a new hypnosis audio for myself yesterday
-yoga
-my face slimming out
-being considered attractive
-my arms slimming out
-good prices
-cleaning products
-being smart

buttercup
4th July 2020, 06:10 AM
-seeing people being creative and positive
-innovation
-my new blonde hair
-how healthy and thick my hair is
-a new selfie to post on social media for the first time in awhile
-having a baby face
-filler and botox
-having great lips
-great skincare products
-getting a hydro to calm me down today
-visiting my feral cats today
-my new edgy gap teeth and stars sunglasses edgy t-shirt handmade in los angeles
-fashion
-my sense of style
-m's husband taking me to get out of the house for awhile
-water
-sleep
-being strong after what D downstairs did to me and giving him a piece of my mind after what he said
-giving D downstairs the stuff i was planning to give him anyways by leaving it in a bag by his door before i went to bed
-pillows
-blankets
-water
-getting more opportunities with first career thing i do
-starting my own creative venture with my stickers for animal advocacy i designed arriving and putting them on a few poles today
-feeling excitement for life
-growing as a person
-cleaning and doing laundry today
-cleaning products
-yoga
-physical exercise
-my arms slimming out
-surrendering
-my muscles being nice and sore from working out
-finding a new book to buy
-smiling
-getting my baby pink venus et fleur roses in the mail
-being a caring person
-deleting all my phone numbers to start fresh
-leaving a voice mail about the air conditioner
-self-care
-seeing l cat so at bliss outside living her life today
-cuteness
-how nice it is for my clothes to fit a little better
-my creativity
-my talent

buttercup
5th July 2020, 08:43 AM
-my beauty
-having a new look
-positive people supporting others
-the day having a positive feel in the air
-my neighbor across the street calling me to come down and including me today
-cuteness
-having a caring heart
-pills to calm down
-nightskies
-air conditioning
-sleep
-good skincare products
-my dad cash-apping me some money
-fireworks
-water
-fun
-self forgiveness
-my new gucci purse
-physical exercise
-the weather feeling nicer outside
-my lip beauty products
-blankets
-pillows
-cleaning
-my new birthday baby pink roses
-kindness
-my neon heart lamp
-my balcony
-surrendering
-becoming more creative again little by little
-my intelligence
-my style
-figuring out how to make the apartment cooler with the a.c
-my arms slimming out
-having a unique model look
-being a creative

buttercup
18th July 2020, 08:54 AM
-hope
-m's husband being back from the hospital and being ok
-H cat looking not too bad at all last time i seen him
-cuteness
-love
-hyaluronic acid
-being blonde now and how good it's been looking
-fashion
-my sense of style
-m being there for me once her husband got sick the last days and being nice and reasonable
-m giving me money the other day and taking me with her to class
-the decision i made to get undereye filler earlier in the month
-water
-xanax
-how vibrant colors and visually everything looks on xanax
-getting back to my fitbit walks
-air conditioning
-doing all my dishes tonight
-vegan sausage breakfast sandwiches
-that it seems like the disaster unemployment will be extended
-the starbucks frappucino drink i like made vegan with vanilla flavoring and a touch of raspberry and espresso shots
-nightskies
-my balcony
-humor
-friendly people
-makeup
-looking good without makeup
-yoga
-humor
-things that make smile
-appreciating the little things
-lip sleeping masks
-my beauty
-having a nice body
-feeling confident enough to wear a tank top outside the house today
-face rollers and eye massage
-my face looking very youthful today
-ibuprofen
-being proactive and taking activism causes for things i care about
-my burberry hoodie
-hairties
-inspiration
-art
-flowers
-beauty
-trees
-the sky
-holistic wellness and treatments
-getting some bills deferred

buttercup
19th July 2020, 08:33 AM
-fashion
-body acceptance
-chargers
-water
-doing a fitbit walk today
-talking to M's husband today on the phone
-prayer
-reading a few pages of my new book
-xanax
-people finding me attractive
-working on forgiveness
-nightskies
-shorts
-the undereye filler i got earlier this month
-speaking up for myself in heated voicemails and email to building manager after getting a shady notice on my door
-being smart
-my hair color
-my abs starting to look more sculpted
-bug repellant spray
-air conditioning working better
-getting the chair i didnt want refunded
-my wit
-smiling
-flowers
-botox and filler
-being smart

buttercup
21st July 2020, 06:56 AM
-making somewhat amends with D, the guy i was hooking up with last month
-water
-handwashing clothes
-getting that time of the month
-M's husband doing better and talking to him on the phone today
-standing up for myself
-H cat doing better
-yin yoga
-great deals
-listening to some solar plexus and theta beats music
-clothes being slightly looser today
-inspiration
-air conditioning
-peace
-being smart
-thinking for myself
-fillers and botox
-doing a smidge of dance cardio today
-my large rose quartz heart crystal
-entertainment

buttercup
1st August 2020, 09:39 PM
-self-awareness
-trying to be objective
-coffee at home
-the weather being cooler
-having my a.c off
-injections, fillers, and cosmetic procedures
-stretching
-my new joggers
-weight going down and fasting getting easier
-vitamin c and zinc
-my balcony
-knowing i have resources to better myself, and my healing
-my retinol hand serum
-talking to M's husband on the phone
-deciding to turn to God and surrender
-cleaning
-getting groceries last night
-my endurance picking up and getting back on track with fitness again
-going for a walk with M last night and her friend
-focusing on my self-nourishment
-trying to trust God and let go
-deciding after some last reflection later tonight i'm going no contact with D, because he plays too many games and is trying to do things to make me feel jealous
-the sale i made on poshmark recently
-the last hookup i had with D last week when i turned to him. I told i wanted to be alliances and was ready to be friends. I was stressed about drama from neighbor across the street and he invited me over and i said as friends and we ended up hooking up and it was mostly really good.
-D's kisses. He's one of the best kissers.
-feeling a little better today
-having nice curves
-my confidence going up little by little and empowerment
-fashion
-eyeliner
-clean clothes
-water
-cleaning products
-self compassion
-thinking for myself
-compliments
-having nice hair
-being smart
-yoga
-cuteness
-being a giving person
-being kind

buttercup
4th August 2020, 05:46 AM
-being strong
-prayer
-getting up to 5 miles again in walking
-clothes starting to fit a little better again
-seeing D downstairs seemed to be home all day today
-meditation
-clarity
-M's husband being done with his quarantine today
-doing laundry today
-getting my eyebrows threaded today
-getting pink balloons today
-fashion
-letting my confidence come back and sense of empowerment
-taking things one day at a time
-colors
-my gucci purse i bought this summer
-my balcony
-being able to leave my a.c off and the weather cooling off some
-nightskies
-my fabric refresh spray
-makeup
-sleep
-friendliness
-music
-cuteness
-water

buttercup
5th August 2020, 07:52 AM
-my strength
-hope
-ativan
-naps
-walking 5 miles today
-things working out for my mom today
-the weather cooling off a bit
-fashion
-sleeping masks
-under-eye filler
-my fitbit
-clothes fitting better on me and looser
-getting enough funds in my account to write a rent check tomorrow
-water
-coffee
-colors
-having a great eye
-my rose face primer
-my retinol hand serum
-meditation
-prayer
-being kind
-being smart
-being forgiving
-my neon heart lamp
-blankets
-doing some reading in my book on forgiveness and trying to apply the principles in my mind
-buying some lip balms today
-sweeping the kitchen floor and cleaning the walls
-lysol spray
-self-compassion
-motivation
-taking things one day at a time
-massage
-mantras

buttercup
6th August 2020, 06:51 AM
-healing
-air conditioning
-walking 5 miles
-my hair
-being peace
-mopping my kitchen floor
-fashion
-losing weight
-mailing a rent check today
-fashion
-being productive
-prayer
-meditation
-affirmations
-being smart
-showers
-water
-coffee
-progress on next relief bill finally starting to happen
-having a ride for tomorrow
-nice weather today
-music
-laughter
-charcoal toothpaste
-sportsbras
-colors
-how vivid colors are on xanax
-having nice curves
-self compassion
-getting better about taking my vitamins
-my fitbit
-support from others
-being a nice person
-hyaluronic acid
-my retinol hand serum
-art
-inspiration

buttercup
8th August 2020, 08:20 AM
-staying strong
-staying logical
-being able to think for myself
-M's husband taking me out to lunch today
-my hair color
-my face looking slimmer
-hair ties
-my fashion sense
-having a kind heart
-my neon heart lamp
-sleep
-meditation
-reflection
-my new shirt from asos
-my gucci purse i wore today
-getting groceries and quarters today
-water
-coffee
-my pills
-buying myself some sunflowers
-air conditioning
-m getting me the lavender epsom bath salts
-ibuprofen
-having a great face
-the breeze at night
-physical exercise
-taking my vitamins
-prayer
-hearing how well H cat is doing
-taking advice i agree with
-mantras
-self compassion
-being productive
-laughter
-my beauty
-having a kind heart
-striving for peace
-having enough to pay off the rest of my rent for this month tomorrow
-smiling
-humor

buttercup
10th August 2020, 06:48 AM
-D texting me angrily tonight saying he hasnt had any females over besides his mom and me. I told him i wasnt interested and apologized for some of the things i said. Strange how after i texted him not interested he only replied to one of my texts after that.Im grateful that he stepped up and said something. And for the relief that there was no females over and it was all in my head and i have no reason to be humiliated now by what neighbors could have seen. Also strange how he texted today. I sent him my vicious messages about 3 nights ago. Then on my balcony i seen him walking to the door. Shortly after, I got the messages from him.
-taking some extra pills to get me though the day after what happened last night that had me wanting to cry and praying to sleep
-sleep. i slept til 4pm. Not good. But, it felt good. And, i had a lot of vivid dreams.
-mikes hard lemonade and having some tonight
-doing laundry
-my great fashion sense
-meditation
-prayer
-journaling
-my rose quartz heart
-squats
-my face looking slimmer
-checking my mail
-my femininity
-my fendi socks
-my strength
-goals
-water
-coffee
-my hyaluronic lip booster
-my sunflowers
-ordering some lavender epsom bath salts for my mom
-mopping the kitchen hallway
-blankets
-ideas
-cuteness
-donating to the humane league the other day

buttercup
12th August 2020, 09:36 AM
-sleep
-not having dinner
-squats
-going for my 5 mile walk today
-being considered attractive
-my hair
-my blonde hair toning spray
-water
-starting my retinol again today
-looking young
-my retinol hand serum
-prayer
-getting a bill deferred today
-my hyaluronic lip booster
-cleaning
-talking to m's husband today
-laughing
-my anxiety meds
-being a kind person
-my burberry socks
-cuteness
-seeing a cat today on my walk
-fashion
-pictures
-peaceful sounds
-nightskies
-goals
-hope

buttercup
13th August 2020, 06:04 AM
-beauty
-my retinol serum
-being considered attractive
-feeling comfortable enough to wear a tank top today
-sleeping. i slept lots last night and it felt good.
-spaghetti
-my anxiety meds
-pillows
-playing with a fun photo editing app and getting a new pic up on one of my social medias
-prayer
-water
-going to the store today for some things i need
-talking to M's husband on the phone
-my retinol hand serum
-having nice cleavage
-sportsbras
-having nice curves
-my face looking slimmer
-entertainment
-having nice hair
-getting my debit card today
-deciding to buy cat food and try keeping a can in my purse everytime i go for a walk in case i see a cat
-cuteness
-all the cats in my life or that have been in my life
-smiling
-friendly people

buttercup
14th August 2020, 07:03 AM
-getting my haircut today
-compliments
-my gucci purse i wore today
-sleep
-letting myself lay down and sleep when feeling sad and helpless
-guacomole
-colors
-getting some groceries
-water
-doing a little reading of my book
-making a self hypnosis
-my fashion sense
-being considered attractive
-taking some positive actions
-my eyebrows
-air conditioning
-common ground
-getting a ride to my haircut
-prayer

buttercup
22nd August 2020, 07:31 AM
-D feeding me italian ice last night. It was oddly heart-warming and a bit erotic.
-fashion
-design
-finding out some things that clarified my fears with D were all in my head
-D telling me he won't hurt me anymore or have us repeat our past cycles of how things are with us arguing
-kissing D
-how D looks at me a lot like he's reading me, and last night when something came up that had to do with a topic of a previous argument, i was thinking about something and he seemed genuinely concerned asking me what's wrong and what am i thinking about and it was something not related to our argument but we both had remembered at that moment the argument and it was him just making sure we were good and there wasn't anything on my mind i wanted to resolve.
-feeling like D and i have accepted the inevitability we are going to keep coming back to each other based on the little things we both say without thinking about it
-D showing more and more signs of caring about me and trying to make changes when he sees things i don't like or that hurt me and just making effort in general to improve things with us and make me feel better
-yin yoga
-getting my 6 miles in lately
-my clothes being so loose yesterday my pants were sliding down a lot
-D always being very turned on by me
-M being there for me more lately
-all my cats i love
-cuteness
-my mom feeling better
-my electric company being very understanding and offering me a great payment deferral and payment plan
-the evictions ban being extended
-ordering a new phone case
-trying out hibiscus tea
-water
-air conditioning
-support from others
-having a romantic/emotional connection with someone and the enjoyment of that building
-topping my hair color today
-hair masks
-becoming better at adulting
-sleep
-coloring
-prayer
-inspiration
-finding ways to fix things online
-cleaning
-D saying maybe we do when i was messing with him again about an argument we had in the past when he claimed we had nothing in common
-D wanting me to like him and approval from me
-how good my makeup looked last night
-my burberry hoodie
-my givenchy teddy bear
-neighbors being nice to me
-getting my phone to act better
-salad
-kindness
-reflection
-feeling my feelings

buttercup
29th August 2020, 05:43 AM
-D sticking with seeming to care about me, more and more
-when D calls me sweetie and is patient with me
-my hair color
-going to my doctor appointments the last 2 days
-my sense of style
-acupuncture
-my givenchy teddy bear
-coffee
-M offering to buy me some lip balms she seen on a health website she likes
-water
-hibiscus tea
-face rolling
-being smart
-having a sense of humor
-under-eye filler
-doing ab work today
-inspiring my dad to start walking
-cats
-my brother being safe
-air conditioning
-sleeping less today
-my new at home chemical peel i've been using for my neck
-music
-beauty
-my beauty
-talking to my therapist today
-my state finally being in the pre-application phase for lost wages federal assistance
-feeling love feelings
-spaghetti and bread with himalayan pink salt ghee for dinner
-xanax
-self-compassion
-seeing cool street art i like
-a cool mobile photo editing app i recently found
-seeing cool creatures while out and about and how much some of them connect with me
-feeling my feelings
-evolving as a person
-prayer
-solutions
-greenery
-inspiration
-kindness from others
-ideas
-hyaluronic acid
-my dior brow mascara
-H cat thriving
-my mom and her cat seeming to be doing better
-M's husband seeming to be doing better
-re-organizing my bathroom shelves
-cleaning my bambi stuffed animal
-my fabric refresh spray

buttercup
3rd September 2020, 08:59 AM
-benzodiazepines
-hot coffee
-delicious food
-going for my 7 mile walk
-that D and i are still talking, even though it feels different and that he's staying consistent with not disappearing and insisting we can talk
-compliments
-fashion
-sleep
-making conversation with a female senior citizen and how nice she was
-2 different people being happy to get some animal advocacy stickers from me and being glad for what i was doing
-a nationwide ban on evictions in my county til the end of the year
-my state being approved for the lost wages assistance program
-my hair color
-hibiscus tea
-being a nice person
-cleaning
-blankets
-air-conditioning
-being inspiring
-motivation
-cuteness
-my new cell phone cases
-hope
-detachment
-the breeze from outside
-creativity
-being smart

buttercup
5th September 2020, 07:03 AM
-D being more consistent with texting me
-D saying something sweet tonight and unexpected-that he wants to get me a gift soon
-when D calls me sweet names
-my hair color
-starting to change my makeup more to match my new hair color
-my style evolving this year
-detaching from D a little bit today
-things working out for me today
-yin yoga
-the chill in the air this morning
-my burberry hoodie
-coffee
-cashapp
-that D listened to me and didn't cut all his hair off
-romantic feelings
-music
-not letting toxic people bring me down today
-being kind
-prayer
-naps
-being smart
-my beauty
-going to the gym for the first time in awhile and how nice that was
-being considered attractive
-newness
-drinking more water
-my givenchy bear and sleeping with him
-how D looks at me
-M's husband finally calling me back
-finishing the bathroom shelves
-cleaning
-finding a marble rock i liked recently
-gin-gins
-reflecting on things i like
-my cozy lauren moshi joggers
-having a very european look
-the backs of my legs getting toned
-cozy socks
-drinking my hibiscus tea regularly
-my new neck peel i've been using
-smiling
-M being nice and sensitive to me lately
-blankets
-night skies
-my femininity
-inspiration
-using my cute new flashlight M's husband got for me tonight
-donating to a suicide foundation the other day
-my retinol serum
-having great skin

buttercup
9th September 2020, 08:23 AM
-D and i making up
-hibiscus tea
-physical exercise
-my hair
-face/eye massage
-my chemical body peel solution
-hibiscus tea
-laughing
-sleep
-my make love not war joggers
-my clothes getting looser
-blankets
-cleaning
-benzodiazepines
-newness
-moving things around to rearrange
-clean clothes
-food card being reloaded
-my burberry hoodie
-baby wipes
-choosing to focus on my aesthetics, wellness, fitness and health
-air conditoning
-art

buttercup
11th September 2020, 09:15 AM
-D showing how attracted he was to me the other night and how sexy he is
-that at least D talks to me more and ignores me less and seems to try to get to know me more again
-hot coffee
-tony's chocolonely caramel sea salt chocolate bars
-delivery
-M being nice to me and taking me to get groceries today
-xanax
-sleep
-prayer
-my make love not war joggers
-face rolling
-making an appt for more filler and botox
-makeup
-the body peel i use for my neck and seeing some results from it
-deep stretches
-fashion
-the slight chill in the air
-the night breeze
-lint brushes
-cleaning and organizing
-doing some written affirmations tonight
-music
-comedy
-friendliness
-loving feelings
-appreciation
-beauty
-seeing cool things to take pictures of
-color
-socks
-water
-more rioters starting to get arrested

buttercup
13th September 2020, 08:02 AM
-after D telling me he doesn't feel the connection he wish he did with me, and us ending again, him telling me less then 24 hours later he has feelings for me, then a few hours later, randomly getting jealous(which he's never showed before) and accusing me of having sex and saying he got mad and asking me a bunch of questions then saying it's good i keep a distance from guys
-hibiscus tea
-getting in a great workout yesterday at the gym then also 7 miles in the fitbit
-water
-doing something kind of crazy to get back at D after i thought i heard something which seemed very hypocritical and throwing my g-string on his balcony.
-my fashion sense
-ibuprofen
-feminine hygiene products
-showering
-doing laundry
-coffee
-tony's chocolonely sea salt caramel chocolate bar
-sleep
-mobile photo editing apps
-getting rilakkuma socks in the mail
-cleaning
-going for a drive with M's husband today
-my lip peel i use
-my gucci purse
-gin-gins
-benzodiazepines
-being strong
-sleeping with my givenchy bear

buttercup
22nd September 2020, 08:39 AM
-reading inspiring things from a magazine i got in the mail recently
-finding shoes i like finally
-my body getting tinier
-chocolate
-walking for 7 miles today
-having nice lips
-having a beautiful face
-fashion
-my sense of style
-my fitbit
-water
-face rolling
-doing laundry
-turning my phone off sometimes
-xanax
-paying off the rest of the month's rent
-having hibiscus tea tonight
-my pink neon heart light
-starting to mentally detach more from D
-admitting when im wrong
-music
-comedy
-beautiful things
-helpful people
-compliments
-yoga
-comfort
-sleep
-nice weather
-paying another bill off

buttercup
23rd September 2020, 08:31 AM
-baby wipes
-M being there for me lately
-style
-going with M to her class tonight
-finishing cleaning the bathroom sink area and getting rid of and organizing products
-face rolling
-hyaluronic acid
-having a nice dinner of spaghetti with bread and ghee
-trying to drink more water
-my gucci bag i bought this year
-having a job finally coming up this week
-having nice lips
-getting my meds today
-painting my toenails a nice vintage yellow color
-physical exercise
-coffee
-M taking me to store today
-having a shot of rum before dinner
-beautiful things
-music
-comedy
-entertainment
-compliments
-making a self hypnosis audio for myself
-beauty
-inspiration
-hot guys
-cuteness
-animal activists

buttercup
25th September 2020, 09:20 AM
-losing weight
-having a beautiful face
-sleep
-xanax
-coffee
-going to the office today
-my hair color
-makeup
-getting a fast food vegan meal for lunch
-seeing my ferals today and H cat looking good
-finding out M's husband has been taking care of another cat
-putting on a cbd skincare face mask for 15 minutes
-forgiveness
-coloring in my positive affirmations coloring book
-kindness
-being stylish
-my burberry hoodie
-wearing heels today
-music
-baby wipes
-setting positive intentions
-prayer
-ibuprofen
-feeling stronger
-good news
-motivation
-determination
-candy
-water
-sunshine
-plants

buttercup
29th September 2020, 07:36 AM
-D and i being back to normal, or at least the way we were a little over two weeks ago
-seeing how i detached from negative feelings and thoughts and certain perceptions before all of a sudden an event brought us together and him initiating talking with me and us making up
-face rolling
-my hair
-getting back more into my self-empowerment
-music
-spending more time at the gym lately
-the new lingerie i got the other day
-doing my multi-acid peel on my neck, chest and hands
-my new acupressure mat
-xanax
-water
-hibiscus tea
-fashion
-my sense of style
-working the other day and running into an old friend and having fun chatting with her and she gave me a ride home
-the slight chill in the air
-slippers
-having a beautiful face
-being high status
-the vegan fast food meal i ordered for dinner
-rum
-having nice lips
-cleaning
-my neon heart lamp
-self-care
-cozy clothes
-little luxuries
-the text D sent me the night we made up saying he felt happy when he looked up and saw me

buttercup
1st October 2020, 08:41 AM
-my acupressure mat
-water
-seeing the money on the card for the injectables i need to get
-my beauty
-my stomach getting more sculpted
-going to the gym tonight
-feeling more self-empowerment
-hot guys
-makeup
-coffee
-getting my burger king vegan meal for dinner and a salad
-being a kind person
-fashion
-getting garbage bags today
-listening to third eye chakra music tonight
-sleep
-ferrum phossum tissue salts
-cuteness
-love
-laughing
-my unemployment not getting deducted
-my little heater i put on tonight
-my fabric refresh spray
-my new hermes lipstick
-being smart
-being talented
-my body getting smaller
-blankets
-my phone
-animal activists, advocates and those who do work to help animals

buttercup
4th October 2020, 09:10 AM
-chocolate
-salad
-vegan food
-good deals
-ferrum phossum tissue salts
-going to target with m and m today
-doing a skincare face mask
-my bed of nails
-feeling my feelings and letting myself process
-healthy digestion
-water
-D being chivalrous last night. Now, a few hours ago i've ended things though which im sad about
-fashion and style
-showering
-coffee
-clean clothes
-being smart
-art
-my little heater
-pillows
-blankets
-my givenchy teddy bear
-fabric refresh spray
-self compassion
-getting fillers and botox the other day
-cats
-having beautiful eyes
-baby wipes
-self reassurances

buttercup
6th October 2020, 08:27 AM
-water
-coffee
-delivery services
-going to the gym today
-self compassion
-doing a lavender epsom salt foot bath
-my acupressure mat
-my hair cooling nice
-my chest looking nice
-my arms getting more toned
-xanax
-rum
-fashion and style
-finally finding a bath mat i like
-baby wipes
-sleep
-great deals
-those who help and fight for animals
-not drinking soda yesterday
-makeup
-my lower body getting more toned
-seeing cute and interesting things
-having nice lips
-being strong
-ferrum phossum tissue salts
-showering
-having great curves
-music
-cuteness
-being unique
-seeing my swarovski crystal order shipped
-being a kind person

buttercup
8th October 2020, 08:09 AM
-breaking my block with D after a fight with M's husband where he was awful to me and i wanted to feel better and like i had a friend
-hibiscus tea
-going to the gym today
-how great my hair looks
-D bringing up my mail yesterday for me
-makeup
-my acupressure mat
-trying new things
-coffee
-my new gold colored face mask coming in the mail
-my crystal cup arriving soon
-water
-xanax
-sleep
-ibuprofen
-being smart
-my beauty
-my arms getting more toned
-applying for an event today
-tampons
-fabric refresh spray
-being a nice person
-hope

buttercup
9th October 2020, 09:36 AM
-sleep
-romance
-my pink neon heart lamp
-hope
-getting my beautiful crystal chanel inspired cup in the mail today
-my acupressure mat
-coffee
-eating some carrots today
-cleaning
-doing some spiritual work with crown chakra music and setting some intentions
-being pretty
-my hair
-having beautiful eyes
-my side of my hips and thighs looking more toned and smooth
-makeup
-showering
-resolving things with M's husband
-my balcony
-night skies
-taking the garbage out
-submitting for some work
-taking some of the election judge training
-updating my resume
-purple toning shampoos and conditioners
-prayer
-calmness
-blankets
-water
-those who fight for animals
-self compassion
-mobile editing apps
-pretty things
-being smart
-pleasant memories

buttercup
14th October 2020, 09:32 AM
-that at least D getting so angry at me and jealous and freaking out shows he cares a lot more then he lets on like i often thought
-at least D said his feelings of anger instead of not communicating it
-that D said we can be cool with each other
-finding out P likes me a lot and talking on the phone for hours the other night
-compliments
-P saying im not an object but a diamond
-my body looking smaller
-my clothes looking nicer on me
-my arms looking smaller, and more toned
-being a loving person
-my abs getting more sculpted
-eating more vegetables
-coffee
-skipping meals some days
-xanax
-having beautiful eyes
-going to yoga class tonight
-cleaning some things
-acid beauty solutions
-being smart
-being creative
-spices
-trying a new vegan food product and loving it
-my venus dimples
-my beauty
-sleep
-smiling
-cuteness
-self compassion
-my beautiful crystal chanel mug
-talking with my psychiatrist today
-feeling calmer about my living situation since researching tenant rights in my city, and ♥♥♥♥♥ protections as well, and looking at my lease
-my new hyaluronic acid i use
-ideas

buttercup
26th October 2020, 09:09 AM
-having nice cleavage
-my hair color that accidentally turned darker then expected growing on me
-being very physically attractive
-my feminine energy
-trying to be productive
-beauty
-beautiful things
-laughing
-music
-getting the song i like cut to the part i want for my ringtone
-going to the gym today
-anxiety medication to calm me down
-my starbucks vanilla bean drink i had today
-seeing D really did have some kinds of feelings for me to get the way he did
-my acupressure mat
-me realizing some changes i want to make such as long no longer crazy shaming myself, not letting neighbors bother me anymore, doing more things to empower myself, working on career more, becoming a smidge more quieter, smarter, and just a lot of reflecting lately over all
-hot guys
-fashion
-having beautiful lips
-organizing some papers
-my new pink glitter folder
-doing a little reading
-water
-skincare face masks
-being a kind person
-the little heater in my living room
-newness
-rearranging things
-learning casual polish speaking on the app i've been using
-my venus dimples
-having a nice lower body
-my prada candy night perfume
-doing love meditations lately as a spirituality challenge
-meditating and getting new ideas
-chemistry feelings with a guy you like
-how beautiful trees are
-love
-prayer
-deciding i want to become more intellectual
-pictures
-new experiences
-colors
-being an interesting person
-new affirmations i'm using
-blankets
-lint rollers
-fabric refresh spray
-great design
-great lighting
-spices

buttercup
2nd November 2020, 04:40 AM
-techno music
-discovering new music
-getting new ideas
-utilizing my resources
-being smart
-coffee
-cats
-seeing my feral cats yesterday
-prayer
-halloween candy
-having a feeling D may be checking on me
-reassurances
-romance
-potatoes
-lint brushes
-changing and evolving
-knowing how to use my oven now
-sleep
-my acupressure mat
-fashion
-the nail stickers i got the other day
-doing laundry
-sweeping the bathroom floor
-talking to M's husband on the phone today
-baby wipes
-showering
-motivation
-working on improving myself
-learning casual polish language
-pillows
-blankets
-sunshine
-colors
-inspiration
-entertainment
-doing some stretches and toning exercise
-trying to see the fun and joy in things
-my beauty
-having nice lips
-having nice eyes
-good skincare products
-my femininity
-nightskies
-coming back to myself
-fabric refresh spray
-innovation
-learning
-hope
-trying to get centered and grounded

buttercup
5th November 2020, 10:21 AM
-being convinced the disaster last night that occured had to have happened to bring me and D together again. Enough times something external happens to bring us together.
-how gorgeous D's eyes are, and attractive he is
-how sweet and polite D is and seeing he wasn't affected by what happened and seeing he had things i gave him out in the open on display in his living room
-that maybe D does care
-xanax
-going to the gym today
-not being so scared of my landlord anymore
-epiphanies i've had lately
-beautiful weather
-night skies
-hope
-swedish fish
-sweets
-coffee
-having beautiful eyes
-beautiful things
-my hair color
-being smart
-calming down and seeing things more objectively now
-ideas
-my talent
-fashion
-having a kind heart
-knowing my heart's desires
-naps
-my acupressure mat
-my venus dimples
-having nice curves
-M's husband coming in the middle of the night to help
-feeling my feelings
-self compassion
-feeling more romantic lately
-inspiration
-having 3 upcoming jobs
-being considered attractive by others
-my new travel size lint roller
-music
-blankets
-finishing painting my nails
-makeup
-trying to drink more water
-learning
-starting case notes last night

buttercup
9th November 2020, 10:10 AM
-laughing
-humor
-seeing M's husband today
-seeing a wolf today
-coffee
-vegan eggs
-my anxiety meds
-other people thinking i'm beautiful
-being smart
-my hair color
-makeup
-heels
-working yesterday
-having nice eyes
-getting a new selfie for social media of myself
-cleaning products
-self compassion
-sunshine
-beautiful weather today
-stretches
-trying to push through with life
-having a unique personality
-looking and seeming very young
-drinking more water today
-sleep
-cleaning and organizing the bed
-having nice lips
-my acupressure mat
-fashion
-beautiful things
-doing a little reading
-listening to some crown chakra music
-learning polish
-being a friendly person
-doing laundry
-buying crushed red peppers
-my neighbor letting me see her place today and being nice and normal
-relaxation
-reassurances
-listening to advice
-connection
-connecting with others
-new experiences

buttercup
12th November 2020, 10:24 AM
-getting my screening done and finding out valuable info
-the stuff for D coming in the mail
-my unemployment state funds and how long i have left for it seeming to have extended
-massaging my scalp
-massaging my face and neck
-sleep
-coffee
-starting to get close to being on a better sleep schedule
-cleaning
-kundalini yoga
-my beauty
-having beautiful eyes
-having a nice personality
-drinking more water today
-my creativity
-my thoughtfulness
-prayer
-wearing heels today
-doing laundry today
-taking out the garbage today
-my chanel crystals cup
-my talent
-J emailing me to follow up on some ideas of his own for our upcoming project
-drinking hibiscus tea today
-ibuprofen
-massage
-my femininity
-blankets
-ferrum phossum tissue salts
-my thoughts becoming more rationalized and calmer
-more affirmation D has been checking on me lately since around september
-being empathetic
-being smart
-relaxation
-self-compassion

buttercup
20th November 2020, 09:46 AM
-things to be grateful for
-prayer
-healing
-shopping
-confirming more jobs lately
-M's friend randomly gifting me money today
-healthy digestion
-tony's chocoloney sea salt caramel chocolate bars
-going to the gym today
-showering
-having beautiful eyes
-my abs getting really sculpted
-God
-tenants unions and the unions i've been having help me
-having a kind heart
-being someone who fights for what's right
-water
-clarity
-getting my new internet assistance from the financial assistance finally set up today
-having an attorney for my case
-yoga
-music
-discovering interesting and cool new things
-art
-creativity
-ibuprofen
-sleep
-having a warm apartment
-my sense of style
-supporting small businesses
-smiling
-cleaning products
-cleaning
-that i've done a good job fixing my purse
-cuteness
-hyaluronic acid
-doing some reading today
-doing some write-ups last night
-laughing
-moisturizers
-makeup
-pillows
-blankets
-reassurances
-calmness
-having a baby face
-nightskies
-sunshine
-awesome phone apps
-baby wipes
-self massage
-being open-minded
-inspiration
-evolving

buttercup
21st November 2020, 08:35 AM
-ibuprofen
-coffee
-seeing and talking to m's husband today
-my white claw t-shirt
-having a nice backside
-face rolling
-shopping
-my thoughtfulness
-great design
-seeing H cat today and the other ferals
-getting my bracelet today
-getting my phone call done today with lcbh
-my bed of nails
-my glycolic acid body serum
-my beauty
-cleaning products
-getting on the discounted internet plan
-having another job tomorrow
-having beautiful hair
-D's eyes
-realizing I have in my eyes a similiarity to D's
-having interesting culture and background
-having goals
-models
-tissue salts
-getting money deposited into my account today
-clothes fitting nicer today
-having great bone structure
-having an eye for content creation
-water
-music
-beautiful things
-finding my prada sock that had been missing for awhile
-making a dentist appointment
-catching up on things
-prayer
-learning helpful new things
-colors
-creativity
-reflection
-getting homeopathic meds for H cat
-baby wipes
-yoga
-positive news articles

buttercup
26th November 2020, 10:57 AM
-showering
-working today
-having a nice face
-my bed of nails
-my hair color and having nice hair texture and attractive hair
-my lips
-sleep
-cleaning products
-kindness
-compliments
-activism for positive changes
-great design
-supporting small businesses
-hairties
-smiling
-water
-kava tea
-makeup
-cuteness
-my last action to tell D im done basically
-blankets
-prayer

buttercup
2nd December 2020, 09:37 AM
-yoga
-cleaning products
-the tenants unions helping me
-beautiful things
-water
-making efforts to pick up the pieces
-root beer
-hummus
-getting my place much cleaner
-seeing a black cat in my neighborhood again and putting cat food out for the cat in case he/she seen it
-comedy
-being an interesting person
-hyaluronic acid
-creativity
-being smart
-my laptop
-my phone
-self massage
-sleep
-apple cider vinegar giving my skin a nice glow the other day
-being beautiful
-having nice lips
-having nice eyes
-finishing my recap tonight
-opening a new checking account
-blankets
-doing some reading tonight
-moisturizers
-cuteness
-music

buttercup
3rd December 2020, 11:03 AM
-creativity
-great design
-help and support
-reassurances
-getting my unemployment put on the unemployment card
-water
-going to the gym today
-yoga
-vegan food
-blankets
-pillows
-making efforts
-having a ride to my appointment next week
-being a nice person
-mailing my dad a holiday card
-having beautiful eyes
-tissue salts
-shopping
-M giving me a leopard print scarf that looks like a poncho that i like a lot that she bought for me
-doing laundry
-getting this place cleaner
-opportunites to bette myself
-letting go of D and processing it all
-healthy digestion
-baby wipes
-being smart
-prayer
-calmness
-humor
-beautiful things

buttercup
5th December 2020, 10:13 AM
-water
-m's husband coming by to see me
-joggers
-yoga
-the tenant union guy coming by today and changing my lock for me and also giving me a pin from his union and some papers about their cause
-comfy socks
-having nice curves
-making my phone therapy session today
-being smart
-touching up my hair color
-confirming more jobs and meeting my income goal of working for this month
-cleaning
-bathtub getting cleaner
-copper sponges
-root beer
-beautiful things
-fashion
-sunshine
-ideas
-pillows
-blankets
-deciding to get a little christmas tree and some ornaments for a creative project to play with by going very unique it
-great designs
-having great taste
-hyaluronic acid
-music
-laughing
-hope
-having a kind heart
-my beauty
-having nice eyes
-fabric refresh spray
-perfume

buttercup
7th December 2020, 09:28 AM
-self compassion
-tackling problems one at a time
-going to the gym today
-confirming jobs today and exceeding my earning goal for the month
-coffee
-finishing the bath tub and putting the new shower curtain up
-new ideas
-sleep
-having a new lock on my front door
-having a kind heart
-feeling more positive
-makeup
-having nice lips
-water
-seeing my body get more sculpted
-being productive
-making a self hypnosis audio recording
-inspiration

buttercup
9th December 2020, 09:55 AM
-female that time of the month products
-painkillers
-stain removers
-crying it out and feeling my feelings
-masculine men
-newness
-root beer
-having great hair
-water
-blankets
-pillows
-sleep
-ideas
-being smart
-surrendering and having faith
-laughing at the universe
-yoga
-having nice lips
-hyaluronic acid
-coming back to myself
-D bringing my package up my stairs
-ending up with a baby pink christmas tree instead of white, which would make me mad, but it's so funny because that's actually what i was seeking out at first
-making efforts
-entertainment
-creativity
-doing some reading
-music
-having beautiful eyes
-colors
-coffee
-red pepper hummus
-art
-having goals

buttercup
10th December 2020, 10:04 AM
-being strong as hard as it's been with what D's been doing to me
-self compassion
-being easy on myself
-healthy digestion
-drinking hibiscus tea
-ideas
-water
-that time of the month products
-seeing M's husband today and him helping me with some work stuff and taking me to store
-yoga
-having nice curves
-my abs getting more sculpted
-coffee
-root beer
-having a grapefruit bud light seltzer earlier
-sleep
-newness
-red pepper hummus
-joggers
-botox
-my little pink christmas tree
-getting some ornaments to put on my christmas tree in the mail
-hyaluronic acid
-having goals
-reflecting on criticism
-having nice lips
-having nice eyes
-reassurances
-being smart
-being able to get a little savage
-great design
-creativity
-tissue salts
-those who do things to make a positive difference in the lives of others, heroes
-laughing
-art
-entertainment
-having 2 jobs this weekend
-pillows
-blankets
-colors
-beauty
-having great taste
-cleaning products

buttercup
12th December 2020, 10:34 AM
-hibiscus tea
-being considered very attractive
-being smart
-compliments
-M bringing me to my job today
-being kind
-helping causes i care about
-M taking me to starbucks on the way to work
-finding out that the guy at the gym that flirted with me in front of her recently asked her about me today
-getting to the do the stairmaster today
-having great eyebrows
-colors
-fashion
-beauty
-makeup
-great design
-art
-cleaning and organizing
-my creativity
-being an interesting person
-my little christmas tree coming along very nicely with the ornaments
-everyone i tell the story to about the tree was supposed to be white and coming light pink which i was seeking at first being amused at it as well and finding it interesting
-sleep
-water
-blankets
-pillows
-saying stuff to D i needed to say some more that was angry but needed to be said and of course he ended up arriving home same time as me and seen me walk towards door as he was driving to park his car and i ended up peeking out window to be sure it was him and seen him looking at his phone and then another minute or two later, inside his apartment. So, he's seen me a few times the last few weeks outside, i have not seen him. This was the first time i seen his car while he was in it, but i couldn't see him of course because it was dark and i can't see super well especially at night
-baby wipes
-physical exercise
-yoga
-eviction ban extended another month
-hope
-starting to gain more confidence, clarity, and inner peace little by little
-inspiration
-being able to laugh at myself
-having m and her husband to count on as a support
-getting a bank account i can connect to cashapp, uber, and quicker transfers
-having great hair
-having beautiful eyes
-deodorant
-fabric refresh spray
-self compassion
-surrender
-newness
-perfumes

buttercup
15th December 2020, 08:52 AM
-sleep
-my body relaxing
-eviction ban extended
-M's husband calling me today
-reflection
-hibiscus tea
-ibuprofen
-yoga
-root beer
-my acupressure mat
-kind, heroic men
-fashion
-cleaning and rearranging things
-cleaning products
-getting some pics for my social media i want to post
-beautiful things
-bras
-hyaluronic acid
-sleeping the in the nude more often
-dimmer lighting
-being productive
-doing some reading
-my accomplishments and status with former career that i plan to go back to
-having some of my dreams come true in lie
-being considered very attractive by others
-walking a little bit at night after taking care of something for work
-having a miracle happen of seeing my power utility bill that i owed almost $500 to completely paid off when i went to check it the other day when i got an email statement. A miracle. I applied for assistance programs but didn't hear anything.
-surrender
-helping others
-having goals
-being creative
-utilizing my resources
-baby wipes
-my travel size lint roller
-listening to my new subconscious audio recording
-fabric refresh spray
-empathy
-ideas
-deodorant
-my femininity
-laughing
-working on loving myself more again
-prayer
-kindness

buttercup
19th December 2020, 09:57 AM
-J the union organizer calling the slumlord for me last night
-seeing how surrendering makes things work out
-hibiscus tea
-being strong and feeling my feelings with the painful stuff going on with how D is being to me
-Starbucks
-M bringing me to my job today
-seeing how much M's husband loves the cats
-photo editing apps
-my little pink christmas tree
-having great taste
-my christmas ornaments
-supporting small businesses
-art
-being smart
-cuteness
-felines
-my acupressure mat
-conditioning, color-toning hair masks
-going to the gym yesterday
-water
-cleaning products
-makeup
-laughter
-showering
-kindness
-confirming another job today and my first double booking since march
-fashion
-discovering new things
-blankets
-inspiration
-hairties
-hope
-coffee
-drinking some wine last night
-my talents
-yoga

buttercup
20th December 2020, 11:51 AM
-when attractive men seem to have a crush on me
-doing some written affirmations tonight
-doing some reading tonight
-utilizing my resources
-great deals
-being smart
-my acupressure mat
-humor
-music
-yoga
-a ♥♥♥♥♥ relief agreement finally done with Congress
-water
-root beer
-blankets
-pillows
-cleaning products
-spices
-vegan food
-my creativity
-self acceptance
-my little pink christmas tree and ornaments
-mobile editing apps
-entertainment
-fashion
-having great taste
-great design
-having a kind heart
-seeing the bright side of things and power of surrender
-cuteness
-compliments
-beauty
-inspiration
-prayer
-deodorant
-fabric refresh spray
-baby wipes
-innovation
-having great eyebrows

buttercup
22nd December 2020, 10:09 AM
-M saying she will take me to the mall this week
-getting my recap done and seeing my last one went through
-fashion
-my sense of style
-a ♥♥♥♥♥ relief bill finally passing
-prayer
-lemon bars
-water
-root beer
-colors
-my beauty
-organizing
-getting another cute ornament in the mail and 2 holiday cards
-blankets
-my tea tree oil foot spray
-my acupressure mat
-being productive
-my balenciaga socks
-decluttering
-my gray winter coat
-having a baby face
-vegan food
-having a unique personality
-beauty
-having beautiful eyes
-having great eyebrows
-my arms getting more in shape
-cuteness
-learning
-having a kind heart
-newness
-hibiscus tea
-deodorant
-perfume
-cleaning products
-how much M's husband loves the cat cats
-getting more grounded
-confirming 10 jobs this month

buttercup
24th December 2020, 06:26 AM
-music
-fashion
-M taking me shopping for christmas
-J from tenants union reassuring me
-root beer
-water
-crushed red peppers
-wine
-my starbucks veganized vanilla bean frap i get
-tissue salts
-waking up earlier today
-sleep
-working out today
-doing laundry today
-starting a to do list today
-my inner peace increasing
-looking very young
-sexy men with dopey looking eyes
-my beauty
-yoga
-hibiscus tea
-working on loving myself more
-helping others
-getting paid yesterday
-that it seems like D may have been checking on me today
-laughing
-having nice curves
-compliments
-baby wipes
-showering
-newness
-feeling my feelings
-cuteness
-animal lovers and activists
-sunshine
-colors

buttercup
26th December 2020, 11:52 AM
-my little pink christmas tree and decor i have on it
-champagne macarons i got. so good.
-hoodies
-mermaid waffles i had today that i got from the grocery store the other day
-joggers
-cats
-cuteness
-socks
-cleaning products
-root beer
-beauty
-my living situation calming down
-having a baby face
-laughing
-water
-kindness
-sexy men
-sleep
-catching someone lying and trying to make my life more difficult and turning the situation in my favor
-decluttering
-animal lovers and those who help animals
-fashion
-having great style
-getting things together little by little
-hope
-prayer
-lip injections
-talking to m's husband on the phone today
-ibuprofen
-starting a to-do list the other day
-hyaluronic acid
-colors
-water
-reflection
-being very attractive
-great deals

Eonnn
28th December 2020, 07:04 AM
-grateful to be alive
-grateful for roof over head, water and food to survive
-grateful for loving friends and family
-grateful for the knowledge I've gained over the years that allows me greater experience of life
-grateful for meditation, allows me to always feel deep inner peace constantly within.
-grateful for lucid dreaming and astral projection, allows me to travel beyond physical reality.
-grateful for breathing techniques, that allow me to empower my bodily vehicle to learn, grow and develop
-grateful for music, helps me feel good, calm and full of joy
-grateful for nature, helps me strengthen my connection to all that is
-grateful for all the loving experiences, and transcendental ones where I experience more connection with the divine.
-grateful I still have rest of the day ahead of me

buttercup
28th December 2020, 11:41 AM
-compassion for self
-J listening to me vent via text
-♥♥♥♥♥ relief being signed by president
-being strong
-my wit
-mermaid waffles
-being able to laugh at life
-taking out the garbage
-joggers
-treating myself to some new joggers from a label i like a lot
-sleep
-M checking on me
-blankets
-showering
-ideas
-being offered an opportunity to do something with former career which will help with my comeback
-yoga
-trying to be productive and make things happen
-prayer
-fashion
-newness
-music
-processing my feelings
-my power
-pictures
-reading a few pages of the book i'm on
-hope
-champagne macarons
-having almost enough to get the updates i want from the place where i get injectables
-cuteness
-love
-cats
-being unique
-water
-self massage
-massage tools for the face and neck such as face rollers and gua shua
-connection
-root beer
-my acupressure mat
-strawberry wafer cookies
-working on my to-do list
-beauty
-looking like a model
-feeling ambitious
-my stomach, arms and backside getting more toned
-being able to pay my internet bill
-pillows

buttercup
29th December 2020, 01:27 PM
-being smart
-compassion for self
-seeing W cat tonight and getting to hold him
-hot guys
-going to the gym today
-joggers
-being creative
-going to the store to get some things i needed
-having great hair
-water
-root beer
-staying determined
-spices
-having nice curves
-socks
-cleaning products
-cleaning my air purifier and buying a replacement filter
-prayer
-reassurances
-beauty
-love
-romance
-fashion
-beautiful things
-being considered very attractive
-new opportunities
-having a baby face
-compliments
-having a kind heart
-my cute new fashion designer inspired blanket
-surrender
-acupressure
-those who help and advocate for animals
-positive news stories
-ideas
-ibuprofen
-my sense of style
-hairties
-cuteness
-being productive
-having a little work coming up
-colors
-nightskies
-music
-art

buttercup
30th December 2020, 11:55 AM
-water
-showering
-heroism
-touching up my hair color
-getting paid for 2 jobs for the job i did where it was 2 different vendors unlike what i thought i'd be paid
-music
-feeling poetic
-drinking hibiscus tea
-doing an at home chemical peel on my face and neck
-fashion
-having a job tomorrow
-being productive
-trying to better myself
-makeup
-yoga
-finding incredible new yoga poses to do
-ibuprofen
-coffee
-buying some cute balenciaga socks
-newness
-growing and evolving as a person
-socks
-my acupressure mat
-my beauty
-love
-heart warming moments
-colors
-beauty
-self compassion
-grounding myself
-sportsbras
-creativity
-having desires
-being an interesting person
-blankets
-pillows
-my stomach looking more sculpted and smoother
-healthy digestion
-good quotes and reflection on things

buttercup
31st December 2020, 12:26 PM
-sending D a rational reasonable text from my tablet last night
-noticing D brought up my mail for me tonight
-deciding to focus more on drinking more water
-my job tonight
-new experiences
-rest
-ginger
-having dinner tonight
-uber pricing not being as bad as i expected tonight
-makeup
-having a beautiful face
-yin yoga
-touching up my hair color last night
-tissue salts
-voice accents
-having nice full lips
-hyaluronic acid
-M's husband healing
-feeling ambitious
-being a kind person
-wearing my cute new rhinestone winter boots today
-compliments
-hairties
-self massage
-blankets
-pillows
-healing
-love
-animals
-smiling
-acupressure
-waking up on time
-vegan gouda cheese
-baby wipes
-spray cleaners
-being in the scene of trendy things

buttercup
3rd January 2021, 08:58 AM
-D and i have officially amended and talked things out
-ibuprofen
-epsom salts
-face massage tools
-showering
-rose wine
-dancing
-yoga
-music
-d and i getting together on nye and banging in the new year together and having a wild night of some firsts
-water
-pillows
-the sexual energy between me and D
-M's husband doing better
-M's husband still seeming to think D actually does care about me and he never likes any guys i date
-sportsbras
-inspiration
-champagne macarons
-hair ties
-my new sparkly rhinestone winter boots
-having fun
-my beauty
-my hair color
-laughing
-D saying he loves me lips
-starting to get some creative projects together
-eviction moratoriums been going on
-manifesting my hearts desires
-having a baby face
-sleep
-surrender
-masculine energy
-hibiscus tea
-having fun
-feeling a little closer to D
-having beautiful eyes
-the acupressure mat helping to smooth out my stomach
-feeling good that D and i amended and have a little bit of a happily ever after going on
-prayer
-cats
-cuteness
-makeup
-my body getting a little tighter and smaller making me feel a little more confident
-seeing D had stuff i gave him around his apartment still including magnets i made of a cat i love and quote i believe in and my business cards with my picture on them which i didn't see the last time we hung out
-deciding on a whim to get D some shot glasses with an artistic almost nude professional photo of me on them
-the connection i feel with D
-joggers
-fashion
-cleaning products
-baby wipes
-love
-romance
-seeing D's kinky side come out from time to time
-my mom showing me a pic of a cute gift she got for me for christmas that made me smile
-getting the air purifier in my bedroom working better now

buttercup
4th January 2021, 09:13 AM
-D and i making amends
-peace
-my hair color
-seeing M's husband today and that he looked well
-having a beautiful face
-my ab pain dramatically decreasing
-being productive
-naps
-meditating
-drinking more water and walking more
-baby wipes
-decluttering
-my clothes fitting better
-getting awesome opportunities coming to me
-blankets
-hair ties
-buying a pair of dolce and gabbana sunglasses
-stretching
-getting my eyebrows threaded today
-how beautiful and accomplished i am and how reassuring that is at times
-being a thoughtful person
-getting a random bank credit to make up for what they took
-acupressure
-working on my to do list
-fabric refresh spray
-ibuprofen
-calmness
-nightskies
-doing some reading
-music

buttercup
5th January 2021, 11:57 AM
-tissue salts
-rest
-relaxation
-sleep
-surrender
-trying to be a better me and a more enjoyable me with a nicer energy
-blankets
-self compassion
-buying a louboutin keyring on a whim
-beauty
-fashion
-art
-at home chemical peel i did for my hands last night
-fashion
-my style
-focusing more on my wellness
-drinking more water
-being productive
-going for a short walk while waiting for laundry
-being creative
-people caring about me
-doing laundry
-having nice hair
-prayer
-my clothes starting to fit nicer and looser
-indian food
-being very beautiful
-creative packaging
-pillows
-colors
-my ab pain going away dramatically
-my acupressure mat
-unexpected beautiful surprises
-inspiration
-getting my confidence and empowerment back more and more
-stretching
-spray cleaners
-baby wipes
-happy memories
-compliments
-cats
-cuteness
-humor
-feeling upbeat
-having beautiful eyes
-nourishment

buttercup
7th January 2021, 12:47 PM
-♥♥♥♥♥ relief coming in
-getting my mom the cat tree to her
-taking my mom to starbucks
-having an empathetic heart
-kind, reassuring people
-unity
-drinking more water
-being productive today
-my package being found
-talking to M's husband
-growing as a person
-my femininity
-socks
-fabric refresh spray
-having beautiful hair
-prayer
-having beautiful eyes that are such a great color and shape
-having a nice sized chest
-being smart
-my former career that the seeds are being planted for me to return to and seeing how much potential i had and have
-great skincare products
-cuteness
-humor
-my acupressure mat
-my glamour
-fashion
-my style
-stretching
-hyaluronic acid
-having a baby face
-having a baby voice
-holistic wellness
-self compassion
-having a nice body
-my creativity