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IA56
25th February 2015, 01:01 PM
I do not know what forum this belongs so I post it here, if it is in wrong Place, you can put it in right forum.

When the big beating happened in 1980-81 I did experience a try of total overtaking of me...and it did come out this way...there was several men who tried to make me as a racing horse to train me to run and win Money for them (I know this is a metaphor for something else what I do not still dare to Think what really happened in reality ) They did take help from my father because I did trust my father at this time totally,but when I did hear my father to try to talk me over to let this happen,(I am sure it was not my father per ce, but if I believed it was that I might change my mind and do it)... I did become so disappointed that I did loose all my trust on humanity...

My father has bean so near Death several timeīs and he was to hospital and doctors called to my sister and told her that my father has only few hours left of Life....I did have my father visiting me at this critical time...and I also did take him on my back to the astral for healing....so I called my father today, and he told me the story as he did experience the "Death" situation....he said...that it was so strange that at the same room as I was in...there was also one horse and a man...they was drugged as me was too, poisoned to Death..but I did understand somehow to leave the room, the nurses did try to fix the alarm what would tell when someone is going to die, because my alarm was not functioning and I did understand that if I stay in the room I will die....so I kept me outside the room and looking from the corridore into the room until it was over and it was safe for me to enter the room...but the man and the horse did die.....

Here I do Believe that if there was a spell put on us, it is broken now...thank God...

I feel that I can not give a fair explanation, it seams that I accuse otherīs, but for me my fathers explanation and my experience is total crystal clear, and I also do understand happenings and for example my fatherīs fearīs and other actings, for several years after that happening....and others too...but I feel I am not able to tell it fairly. But I am so happy today. I feel I have passed the test and I have my graduation diploma of eath Life...:-)

Please give your thoughts what this do awaken in you, please.

Love
ia

MooSaysTheCat
26th February 2015, 09:52 AM
The first thing that came to my mind almost immediately is that no matter how many times I nod in affirmation and agree with you....it is impossible (I like the word "impossible" it is a word that is never truly needed for any situation) for me to understand just how much another person might have suffered without having myself experienced something similar...and even when you have, it still could have been very different for that other person.

But this is more like my own personal lesson I think.

Well it makes me think that you have taken control of your life...the poison dictated that you would die at at certain time and you said ~no thank you~ the clock broke and you left the room.

This is what I would think if YOU would have been the one to see this....but it was your father, right? So it makes me think the message was for your father...it makes me think that he was the one that gave you the poison and is now witnessing his power over you has disappeared.

Um...I don't know if this was the type of reply that you where looking for...but this is the only thing I could think of at this moment.
....but if I came back tomorrow and replied there again I would very possibly reply something very different...yes, I'm unreliable like that.

PS. I apologize for accusing your father of attempted metaphoric murder.

IA56
26th February 2015, 04:38 PM
Thank you Moo,
No need for apologize I understand how you mean.

Love
ia

IA56
27th February 2015, 11:37 AM
I have tried to get understanding all these years about what I did understand about this happening and why it happened, but I feel I fail every time in my telling, Iīd like to for one time to get someone saying...I get it what you say, and I would have done the same.

When all this happened and why I did fell into his arms when he said the magical wordīs....I will help you...you do not Owe me anything I want to help you and if you do not want me in your Life, you just say it and I go.
This was not true...when I said and asked him to leave me because I coudnīt take any more beating...he did beat me up more...and said...so this is what you have bean planning all along???
My family did not help me that time, because I have divorsed my sons dad....they Think I did shame out everyone ...and they turned theires back on me....
They did help me if they was the one to dictate the needīs of me...??? so when I asked if they help they Always said...no not that what you ask, but this help we can provide?? so I had to say no, I did not ask for that, I asked this..but no.
I am also so sad that my family did not know me better, that violance is the worst thing I know, and I do not want that violance is payed back with violance....so when my father and my brother did come to my home to take this man out for giving him a lesson, I knew they will beat him up, and I canīt allowe this ....to see my father and brother in jail is no solustion....and this man was not one who would understand his own doings, so he would have put my father and my brother to jail for long time....he would not have even tried to Think that he has caused my fathers and my Brothers beating of him....to help me...he had only seen this as an asault of him for no reason.
So I had to force my father and my brother out of my home to protect them....and do it right....eventually I did go 2 trials against this man, I wanted all to be done right, and not taken the law in your own hands.

So I feel now that it has taken over 30 years but I feel we are closing into the release....and I will gain in my strength to see the whole Picture and I hope in this Life time I am able to tell Everything from all aspects and realms and what not....because this saying about the butterfly wings....it is really about it how it multiplies over time and builds up if you do not right in the beginning....and it is not easy to know what is right doings in the beginning and when things happen.
I sure have tried to understand and it is not easy....but I will keep trying until I succeed.

Thank you all for having me here, you have all bean huge support.

Love
ia

IA56
16th December 2015, 09:59 AM
I am in a new phase...it is my body reaction....from have bean constipated, it has gone to the opposite side, all is just running out of me like water.
The biggest thing what has happened that after my dream meating up with the crystal dark emeral man in my dream, I am almost lost the body pain,
it is under "control" now so to speak....

I have doctors appointment January 13 next year for some test done that it is not something sever illness.

WoW...I am going in right direction....I am so happy.

Thank you CFT about writing about despersoalization disorder....I know that can be put on me for all bad things happened all my life, all cruelty when processed it will turn
to blessings, real blessings....when I am done with my processing, I am ready to start with MAP...I am looking so forward to that day, it may be near it might be far away
but anyhow, I am closing to be healed for a consious projection.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2016 to ya all :-)

PS. My father is still going strong and I am so happy for him, mother on the other hand has got again cancer diagnos, last year christmas me and my son did spend christmas with
mother at hospital, colon cancer...now it has spread and she has a tumour on her yaw and in the soft parts of stomach, she will get radiation not sure she can take cemo, she is 82 yrs old....I hope she will overcome this too, she want so much to be here on earth, even she say she know what star she is going too, it has blinked at her all her Life, so she
know where her home is in the afterlife...I am happy she is positive about death even she do not want to hast there.

Love
ia

CFTraveler
16th December 2015, 03:00 PM
Merry Christmas back at you, Ia. May it be peaceful for her too.

IA56
16th December 2015, 03:06 PM
Merry Christmas back at you, Ia. May it be peaceful for her too.

Thank you so much CFT and may your and your loved ones Christmas be peacful and full of joy.

Love
ia