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View Full Version : Time,reality,and illusions



buttercup
20th August 2015, 06:51 AM
Hopefully i can articulate this in a way that makes sense. Part of me feels like this is part of the spiritual experience. Well,last night I was having a slight panic thinking how i have only seen family members a few times in a year really,and I used to see them everyday and the thing is,i've been wanting to see even less of them. I had my mother and brother over last night,and then felt awful afterwards. My vibe dipped so much and I kept having thoughts like I need to get away from them after they left and that if i moved somewhere across the country that'd solve the problem. Yes,i do feel guilty about this,but i have to be honest about my feelings. They are so different from me and are so negative and it just always lower my vibe. Also,too much time around them,well,these days lately,too also reminds me how a loved one who transitioned is no longer here and that is feels kind of bad being around family when she isn't here. I've never been a big family person but just thinking about the time concept is what freaked me out and made me feel panicky. I've had this happen in subtle ways at other times,too thinking about how i haven't seen someone in so long but it doesn't feel that long. And,truth be told...part of me wonders if i'm even ok with that. As in,having a connection without seeing people,just thinking about them,and the psychic connection is enough for me,until i think of time and then that freaks me out and makes me feel psycho. Then,i wonder maybe it's part of me embracing something "truth" as in,all of reality is in a sense "all in the mind" anyways and it's only when i think of time linearly that i get freaked out and feel like something is wrong,for the most part. I also find it weird how much goes on in reality,there's just so much that when i think of time,it's like how are we possible taking it all in? It almost seems to me there has to be something missing,again,the whole well your really only imagining this,so that's why it seems like some parts are missing and wouldn't be able to fit in the whole "time capsule" and why you really feel kind of ok not seeing people for awhile until you think of the time logically. I've also had so many miracles with time,as if no time had passed with people and reuniting with people years later,etc,etc so i definitely believe time is not linear,this is something that makes sense to me. I do wonder if part of the reason i am having these feelings/thoughts lately is because true nature of reality is just sort of flickering hints to me and trying to live in a linear time,and in the way that is "normal" is just,idk maybe starting to confuse me a bit or something.

I've had some spiritual truths come to me before,and when in that short phase,life seems to flow in a different magical sort of way,but it doesn't last long,the "amnesia" comes back of normal physical reality living and then trying to consciously apply how to live in that more magical way,i keep...not doing it for some reason,as if i forget. I've had sooo soooooooo many freaky incidents in my life that have proven certain things to me without a doubt,such as law of attraction,and that anything is possible and that life is a "dream." I just know there's even more that can be expanded upon for me that is probably very complex for me to understand and believe,maybe i'm not even ready to understand quite yet. Just last year,more was expanded to me of spiritual truths that made so much sense and i could easily believe in,that before that time went over my head and i couldn't comprehend. Does anyone have opinion on this? I'm sure i sound crazy. I just get very freaked out by how the time passes sometimes,it's very eerie to me,lately. Like,am i really here? Do i exist?And,sometimes deceased don't even feel dead to me. It's just so weird the feelings i feel.

dontco
17th October 2015, 09:17 PM
Hey, Buttercup! :-) just wanted to say I completely understand how you feel, including the part where you said the deceased don't feel dead to you. I think, that sometimes just knowing someone else out there in the world, another soul, is feeling the way you feel, can be helpful.
Peace and love!