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dontco
5th March 2016, 10:11 PM
I try to be a positive person, when I can, so I guess I do repress some negative feelings I might have sometimes, in order to smile and be happy.
And I know that EFT for example, is all about accepting what is. And I also read a quote by Osho today that said life is all about acceptance and being authentic and if you smile while your heart is crying, your whole being will become rotten.
This is really not something I always do. And for example, with the LOA, you shouldn't accept things as they are, but live and think from another state in order to manifest it, so I feel it contradicts this concept. And also- if you start being in a bad mood, it's usually pretty hard to stop.
What do you think about the subject? Would love some advice. Thank you very much!
Dontco.

Sinera
6th March 2016, 12:00 PM
Momentarily this is highly topic for me, you hit a nerve here.

I have come beyond a point of acceptance to any negative situation, at least the ongoing one.

The problem it that some things seem to cling to you and fighting them is like being drowned in quicksand. The more you struggle, and bite and spit and scratch and lash out ... the deeper you sink in and seem even more trapped. I feel trapped in life right now. Seems no way out of it although alleys are visible. But I lack patience too, that is the problem. It's been a long way of suffering now almost for a year. Nervous breakdowns for it, energy that needs to escape and cannot be contained. Bad feelings a lot.

Seriously. Partly it feels like I am in hell. This is hell. I have no other word for it anymore of what I'm going through.

So I fight the situation tooth and nail, because I found out I cannot accept it, no matter how hard I try. I do not like the 'gurus' anymore that tell you that you should accept everything bad happening to you and just "be" ("in the now", yada yada...). It's not possible. Tried it. Been there. I'm done with it. I feel I have a right to be angry about this situation and I could not change and react any other way, anyway.

Sorry for the rant. Good topic, btw.

newfreedom
6th March 2016, 01:00 PM
Hi Dontco,

i strive for authentic happiness (well, .... this for me, i consider 'the ideal' state to live within)

In the past before my 'breakdown' i was described by some as the 'Sad clown' ..... and their description about me was true.

If i am able to feel negative feelings, but not able to explore or deal with them in the moment, then i like to go back later to explore & understand what i need to about them.

I find moods more tricky to deal with & i do get 'stuck' in them, rather than being 'truly open to what is'... moods for me are more like 'false attitudes' that i've learnt to adopt / take on in certain situations. i often need a lot of energy or effort to move out of these.

Also for me, i find being in constant bad or uncomfortable feelings is difficult to remain openly accepting of, but negating it as i automatically do, just keeps me stuck, so in the end i have to engage with them / myself as a means to move forward.

If i could give some advice, i would say:


'if you are able to, explore the different things you have talked about, see what experiences you have & how it is for you'


The disclaimer would be:


'you do so at your own risk'


(yeah, i don't normally give advice, for that reason !)

susan
6th March 2016, 01:35 PM
Okay Dontco's I'll have a bash but first just to clarify I'm going to assume here that we are talking about the problems we can find in day to day living and interactions with people. Not the deeper more serious conditions professional people are trained to help.
This is what I've learnt as a way to live day by day.

In the beginning an analytical mind is needed.
This starts with trying to understand the situation and why it seems as it does. Why this happened? Why this person said what they said?
Understanding is paramount to Acceptance.
I feel that if there is no analysis leading to understanding then there can be no Genuine Compassion or Acceptance. We can all say the right thing but do we realy realy mean it?
Knowing our own faults and weaknesses I think is also helpful.As long as we are aware of them we can laugh at them when we cause a problem for ourselves.Either be aware of them and accept the consequences or try to change the weakness. If you fail be aware that you have but also that you are trying, or not.
I see every challenge in life just exactly as that. A Challenge. What caused it? Can I do something to change this?if yes then try. If not Accept and move focus to different direction. Today this has been my concern but nothing I can do about it, tomorrow is a different day. No two days are the same.
Being in a bad mood I think is your own punishment to yourself because you haven't worked it out yet. Your focusing in the wrong direction.

Some examples.
1) yesterday was watching a girl on u tube talking about seeing energy.
Read the comments and some had written hurtful comments suggesting she didn't know what she was talking about and some commented on her appearance.
Analysis.
I saw her as an attractive young lady with much knowledge, pleasurable to watch and listen to and I shall certainly hunt out more of her clips. Very spiritual person wanting to help others.
The people who commented in a hurtful way must have known that she would probably read the comments. They wanted to put her down. I presume either drink was talking and they may have regrets in the morning but if they were in control of their thoughts then they are not spiritual minded, take pleasure in causing hurt to others and are way behind her when it comes to progressing spiritually.

Example 2)
I'm Roberts age 60. I love my job but I am getting very tired and most days now wish I could work less.
The thing is, I know I could! I am causing my own problems and I can laugh at this.
A few weeks ago I brought forwards a post I had made on my journal section about ACCEPTANCES.I felt it was relevant to be reminded that I should be happy with what I have. My problem is I like nice things but I work hard for them. If I would only stop spending the money I could drop down to less days of work.
So I have made my choice . I feel there is nothing wrong in having as long as I understand the consequences that come with it.
So Dontco's, be very proud of who you are as you are the most important person on the stage. Your playing the leading roll and always keep something up your sleeve for when all else fails.
There always a bad guy in the film. This world has many bad guys.

I've just come back to edit this. It took me while to write so was written before reading Sinera's or newfreedom's post. Please understand this is only my way and may seem trivial to some others.

dontco
8th March 2016, 01:45 PM
Momentarily this is highly topic for me, you hit a nerve here.

I have come beyond a point of acceptance to any negative situation, at least the ongoing one.

The problem it that some things seem to cling to you and fighting them is like being drowned in quicksand. The more you struggle, and bite and spit and scratch and lash out ... the deeper you sink in and seem even more trapped. I feel trapped in life right now. Seems no way out of it although alleys are visible. But I lack patience too, that is the problem. It's been a long way of suffering now almost for a year. Nervous breakdowns for it, energy that needs to escape and cannot be contained. Bad feelings a lot.

Seriously. Partly it feels like I am in hell. This is hell. I have no other word for it anymore of what I'm going through.

So I fight the situation tooth and nail, because I found out I cannot accept it, no matter how hard I try. I do not like the 'gurus' anymore that tell you that you should accept everything bad happening to you and just "be" ("in the now", yada yada...). It's not possible. Tried it. Been there. I'm done with it. I feel I have a right to be angry about this situation and I could not change and react any other way, anyway.

Sorry for the rant. Good topic, btw.
@Sinera, No need to be sorry at all! I completely understand. Your life sound really hard right now, and it's hard to keep all of that in. It sounds like hell. Been there. And of course, you do have every right to feel angry about the situation! If you want to talk, or anything else- remember that I'm always here (to talk, rant, let out some steam or whatever. At any time. Even on gmail or whatever else you would like- I'm here. And If you don't want to, that's really ok, too). I consider you a friend!
much love

dontco
8th March 2016, 01:49 PM
Hi Dontco,

i strive for authentic happiness (well, .... this for me, i consider 'the ideal' state to live within)

In the past before my 'breakdown' i was described by some as the 'Sad clown' ..... and their description about me was true.

If i am able to feel negative feelings, but not able to explore or deal with them in the moment, then i like to go back later to explore & understand what i need to about them.

I find moods more tricky to deal with & i do get 'stuck' in them, rather than being 'truly open to what is'... moods for me are more like 'false attitudes' that i've learnt to adopt / take on in certain situations. i often need a lot of energy or effort to move out of these.

Also for me, i find being in constant bad or uncomfortable feelings is difficult to remain openly accepting of, but negating it as i automatically do, just keeps me stuck, so in the end i have to engage with them / myself as a means to move forward.

If i could give some advice, i would say:


'if you are able to, explore the different things you have talked about, see what experiences you have & how it is for you'


The disclaimer would be:


'you do so at your own risk'


(yeah, i don't normally give advice, for that reason !)

@newfreedom, you're great! love you, thanks for your advice! :love: smart words.

dontco
8th March 2016, 02:00 PM
Okay Dontco's I'll have a bash but first just to clarify I'm going to assume here that we are talking about the problems we can find in day to day living and interactions with people. Not the deeper more serious conditions professional people are trained to help.
This is what I've learnt as a way to live day by day.

In the beginning an analytical mind is needed.
This starts with trying to understand the situation and why it seems as it does. Why this happened? Why this person said what they said?
Understanding is paramount to Acceptance.
I feel that if there is no analysis leading to understanding then there can be no Genuine Compassion or Acceptance. We can all say the right thing but do we realy realy mean it?
Knowing our own faults and weaknesses I think is also helpful.As long as we are aware of them we can laugh at them when we cause a problem for ourselves.Either be aware of them and accept the consequences or try to change the weakness. If you fail be aware that you have but also that you are trying, or not.
I see every challenge in life just exactly as that. A Challenge. What caused it? Can I do something to change this?if yes then try. If not Accept and move focus to different direction. Today this has been my concern but nothing I can do about it, tomorrow is a different day. No two days are the same.
Being in a bad mood I think is your own punishment to yourself because you haven't worked it out yet. Your focusing in the wrong direction.

Some examples.
1) yesterday was watching a girl on u tube talking about seeing energy.
Read the comments and some had written hurtful comments suggesting she didn't know what she was talking about and some commented on her appearance.
Analysis.
I saw her as an attractive young lady with much knowledge, pleasurable to watch and listen to and I shall certainly hunt out more of her clips. Very spiritual person wanting to help others.
The people who commented in a hurtful way must have known that she would probably read the comments. They wanted to put her down. I presume either drink was talking and they may have regrets in the morning but if they were in control of their thoughts then they are not spiritual minded, take pleasure in causing hurt to others and are way behind her when it comes to progressing spiritually.

Example 2)
I'm Roberts age 60. I love my job but I am getting very tired and most days now wish I could work less.
The thing is, I know I could! I am causing my own problems and I can laugh at this.
A few weeks ago I brought forwards a post I had made on my journal section about ACCEPTANCES.I felt it was relevant to be reminded that I should be happy with what I have. My problem is I like nice things but I work hard for them. If I would only stop spending the money I could drop down to less days of work.
So I have made my choice . I feel there is nothing wrong in having as long as I understand the consequences that come with it.
So Dontco's, be very proud of who you are as you are the most important person on the stage. Your playing the leading roll and always keep something up your sleeve for when all else fails.
There always a bad guy in the film. This world has many bad guys.

I've just come back to edit this. It took me while to write so was written before reading Sinera's or newfreedom's post. Please understand this is only my way and may seem trivial to some others.
@Susan, wow! thank you so much! :heart: I really appreciate the effort and time it took you to write this. And I loved your wise advice! I agree with it, especially the part about looking at challanges as... challanges! :-) I seem to have forgotten about that. So thank you! I will remember what you said.