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Tempestinateapot
15th May 2007, 05:47 PM
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near
Tampa, Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions,
they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that
copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to
posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News
Magazine of the St. Louis Times Association for Mental Health.
A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple,
but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is
now the author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the Internet.


Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? .....What do you see?
What are you thinking......when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food.......and make s no reply.
When you say in a loud voice....."I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice ....the things that you do.
And forever is losing a sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not...........lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . the long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse......you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am ...... as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .....as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten.....with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ......who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen ......with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. ........a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ........my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows........that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide .... and a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ......... my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ......... with ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons ........have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me........to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more....... babies play 'round my knee ,
Again, we know children ........ my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me ....... . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future .I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing ...young of their own.
And I think of the years...... and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man.........and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age ......look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles.........grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone........where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass ..... a young guy still dwells,
And now and again .....my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys.............. I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living.............life over again.

I think of the years ...all too few..... gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact.......that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .......open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer....see........ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you
might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.....we will all,
one day, be there, too...YES We Will!

Edit: I copied this from an email sent to me. I just realized that it looks like I might have written the commentary. I didn't. I didn't write anything in this post except this edit. Can't give the author any credit, because I have no idea who it was.

blacktiger057
17th May 2007, 02:02 AM
That makes me look at those people in nursing homes at an entirely different perspective. As for now, I can't even think about being 30, let alone 80! :shock:

Tom
17th May 2007, 03:57 AM
That makes me look at those people in nursing homes at an entirely different perspective. As for now, I can't even think about being 30, let alone 80! :shock:

30 beats 18. If I had to pick between going back to one or the other you'd have to pay me millions to be 18 again.

blacktiger057
17th May 2007, 08:04 PM
*off topic*

Luckily, I have a long way to go. 13 and better than ever :)

star
17th May 2007, 08:05 PM
Getting to 20 has been quite a ride and its still picking up speed.

Beekeeper
25th May 2007, 07:48 AM
I thought it was very moving. Caring for such people would be a challenge but being so needy would be too.

Tempestinateapot
25th May 2007, 03:33 PM
I did a long rotation in a nursing home (geriatric center) during my nurse training in the early '80's. My experience and intuition is that many of these people are kind of "lost" in their heads. Their bodies aren't co-operative, often painful, some have limbs that are even "frozen", and they sort of escape into their minds to be able to cope with their physical condition. They have moments, sometimes hours of good lucidity where they are aware of their situation, and are quite capable of having an intelligent conversation. Then, they sort of drift back into a mind never-never land where they don't recognize who or what they are.

So, in answer to Tom's non-empathetic post, I would say that most of this is beyond their abilities. They can't choose when to be lucid. During their non-lucid times, they act almost like gentle robots. When you bathe them, you ask for them to lift their arm, and they slowly lift it while staring off into space. This isn't a case of them cooing and acting sweet like a baby. The only ones who are animated are the ones who seem to be schizophrenic. They babble on non-stop, talking gibberish or singing children's songs at the top of their voices. From what I understand (from my studies) is that many have crystal clear memories of their childhood and young adulthood, but can't repeat what you said 5 minutes ago. The lucky ones who have lucid episodes could easily have written the prose in the original post. Then, they drift off again.

Also, many have been dumped there by relatives who either did not wish to take care of them, or didn't have the vast amounts of time required to take care of someone in this position. This disorients the elderly even more. They don't recognize where they are, or see any familiar faces. It is very traumatizing and can even cause them to slip further into psychosis. Sometimes you see panic in their eyes, and it takes a special person to be able to connect and offer them some kindness. I remember leaving the nursing home every day a changed person. Sometimes I was frustrated from not being able to understand what they wanted or to even connect in any way. Other times I was in tears after bathing, dressing, and combing their hair while they anticipated a visit from a loved one, just to sit for hours past the time that loved one was supposed to arrive. A tear might form on their face, or they would drift off to escape the pain and lonliness. It is hard to understand unless you have spent time with some of these people, or have an elderly relative living in your family. I think some of the historical generations may have had it right compared to us. They took care of their parents within the family until death as part of the experience of having a family. Now, it's easier to leave them at a nursing home.

johnbrent
1st July 2008, 07:40 AM
well, that is nice... being old shouldn't really be an issue. I surely wont be sending my folks away to nurses home or something...

lightningbug
12th July 2008, 03:58 AM
that was rather moving, and tragic :? I always felt the old homes was like a death sentance, a place to disappear, be forgotten and die. Me and my sisters have even discussed, who gets mom and who gets dad.

I think more people should reach out to them. I don't think I could ever be that person. I've terrible hearing if you don't speak clearly. I get plenty of old bitter and angry ladies at work, and they make me want to hide underneath the table as is :?

aprilla
16th July 2008, 08:39 PM
yeh it's a touching poem.
I have worked in nursing/residental homes. The reality is, the homes these days are BUSINESSES, not many now are run from love and care. you are not allowed to sit with and chat nicely to the residents when you have a few minutes spare, the staff numbers are less then minimum.... It's a fact that where I work(on a dementia unit,) if you get caught sitting down chatting /listening with them, you get kicked off your arse and told to look for some cleaning work. And when it gets back to the director, that we had 'nothing to do'... she then implements further cleaning duties. In the social services department, it is the same. we are told chatting and listening to them are jobs for their relatives/friends, whether they have them or not. Not for care workers..so don't put your folks in a home, thats my good advice here.I could tell you stuff that will make your toes curl :(