kundalini, psychic attack, or do I need a shrink???

[MD2BE]

Help, someone! I have been experiencing very negative things for the past 6 months. I am a medical student, and have been worked up by 2 doctors, about to see a third, maybe, to find what might be causing my symptoms listed below:

1. dizziness (all the time)
2. shortness of breath
3. sensations of choking
4. fever
5. weakness, numbness/tingling in hands, feet
6. achy muscles at neck and shoulders
7. feelings of fear, doom
8. digestion problems. e.g., eating less, no weight less, acid reflux
9. weird vibrations in left foot, like "trilling"
10. swollen left hand upon awaking

My internist feels that 1-3 and 7 are classic textbook panic attacks, which she says are common for med students around boards time. Her treatment? To "go to my happy place". The more I try deep breathing and relaxing, the worse it gets. Had an MRI done, it was normal. For 8, she tells me to stop caffeine and other acid-producing foods for the acid refux. Hard to do, but cut down to 1 cup coffee/day. Lately, I get mild diarrhea. For 5, she sent me to a rheumatologist because my labs came back with a positive ANA and elevated sedimentation rate, which points to lupus. High sed rates usually go with infection, but my white cell count not elevated for infection. Other labs all normal. I do not have the classic signs/symptoms, eg facial rash and joint pains, which tend to present first with lupus. I had more specific labs done and am waiting for those results. 9 and 10 started just 2 days ago. My internist wants me to see a neurologist next, plus mention of a psychiatrist. 4 just started 2 days ago as well.

My mood lately has been sour, and my studying has suffered. I have no interest in sex for past 2 months or so, very abnormal for me, and is causing big tensions with my spouse. I fear driving because of the dizziness. I feel like a dark heavy cloud is over me. I had to postpone my board exam date and clinical rotations in the hospital until this fall, was supposed to start this week. I get 7 hours of sleep, but always feel so tired and drained. I still do daily workouts, stretches and 20 minutes of walking on treadmill, but they don't seem to give me energy at all anymore. I looked these symptoms up on the web, and some of the hits I got back refer to psychic attack and kundalini syndrome. I am desperate for help, I just want to feel normal again! I have not been doing anything to bring this upon myself, like meditation, rituals, etc. I have a neighbor that is into these things, and I always thought she was a nice person, very interesting. Recently, though, she made a comment about another neighbor and I felt a flash of bad vibes from her. Can't explain it. My spouse made a comment recently that he feels she's jealous of me, but he couldn't explain that, and I find it weird, she usually seems so nice. Could this all be from her? All I have been doing is trying to balance family and school, and doing a good job until now, please help me understand this.

[Korpo]

Hello, MD2BE.

It is hard to say what is happening to you even if you spell it out so clearly and in full detail. Please keep on going down the medical route no matter what else you try to fix your condition, and keep checking with a medical practitioner you trust. But I do not think you need to be told that.

A lot of the conditions you describe sound like a psychosomatic cause. I mean, if for example 2 and 3 had no physical explanation, they could indicate psychic/emotional trouble. Neck and shoulders (6) are classical stress points, also digestion problems (8 ) often indicate fear and stress, and I think we don't need to talk about (7).

Therefore I think it could not hurt to see a psychotherapist or a hypnotherapist, simply to help with the soulsearching. As no obvious physical reason has been found yet, a psychic one might be the cause. If your intuition cannot (yet) guide you, the help of a professional can surely lead the way.

Also ask yourself - is your life lacking something? Is the material world and success in it enough for you? Shortly before my finals (computer science) when it became evident my "survival" ;) would now be guaranteed, the spiritual interest reawoke in me - the need to go looking for answers and to complete me. I ended up with doing energy work and meditation and feeling better, sleeping better, and my job, while not unimportant, is no longer the focus of my life like I thought it would be. This is a good time to find out what makes your life complete, and a good therapist could be helpful here as well.

Unless you cannot pinpoint a psychic attack or an incident involving a neg it is not necessarily that. If you want to be sure, you can learn Robert's Core Image Removal technique and other things:

http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?t=8158

While I cannot exclude it I'm not so sure about Kundalini - had any spectacular spiritual/mystical experiences that actually could be interpreted as Kundalini sensations?

Be well and take good care,
Oliver

[CFTraveler]

I second what Korpo wrote. Unfortunately, as you aptly put it, your symptoms are consistent with panic attack, and your neurological symptoms sound like something physical.
If utilizing psychic countermeasures give you comfort, such as shielding, for example, or core image removal, then by all means apply them; however please continue the medical route, and by all means let us know how you do with your practice. We'll be rooting for you!

[MD2BE]

Thank you, Korpo and CFT, I appreciate the replies. Meanwhile, I spoke to a friend of my mom's, who is from a family of "roots women", who gave me instructions involving salt and candles. This is to help me feel better, she said. Will do! I really hope it stops the dizzies, weakies, choking feeling and foot buzzing--feels like a live bee is trapped in there! She said she did not believe it is an attack, but rather, a wake-up call from my own subconscious. This echos what you mentioned, Korpo and CFT. I have put lot of weight on this exam, because those scores determine my professional future, so basically, I have just let life go on by. Well, to that, I just feel like if this is meant to make me stop and smell the roses---it's working! I checked out those links, great information there. Will definitely post updates. Thanks again :)

[MD2BE]

Oh, forgot to address the kundalini syndrome sensations, saw a list on the web, and the foot sensations, weakness, fever without apparent illness and anxiety were on the list. And wouldn't you know it, I can't find that site with the list :( As far as psychic things, nada. Guess that rules out KS?

[DAN]

Does the choking feeling feel more like the wind pipe being choked more than the whole throat?

Dan

[MD2BE]

Wow...I am amazed! I did that salt and candles trick yesterday, and I am pleased to report that it worked, I feel normal again! I can't believe it. No dizzies, no foot buzzing, no fever, aches, all that, just gone. I feel new and shiny, and it seems absurd to think I felt feelings of doom at all. I suppose it was all in my head afterall. I'll still see that neurologist, though. But what's weird, I had a dream last night, that I begged this man who looked like my husband but really wasn't, to chop off my left foot with a machete. I begged and begged and finally he turned to do it and I woke up. I can't remember the last time I remembered a dream! It was so realistic. Won't stress on it though. For now, I just want to get out and have fun, then get back to my studies.

DAN, the choking was when I would try to swallow. It felt like my entire throat was closing up. not just the windpipe. It made me gag, for about 2-3 seconds only, and was accompanied with fainting feelings. I have never fainted with these attacks, but it just felt like I would, and the fear was, if I do pass out, I won't ever come out of it.

[CFTraveler]

Well, I'm glad we could help.

[ButterflyWoman]

Wow...I am amazed! I did that salt and candles trick yesterday, and I am pleased to report that it worked, I feel normal again!

Can you tell us what you did?

[MD2BE]

Okay, all those symptoms I posted seem to have lifted, only to have acquired a new one--very vivid and disturbing dreams. Side effects? Last night, dreamt of walking along an ocean shore. There were lots of huge rocks and small wadepools, which I got very excited about. I wanted to get some samples from the wadepools to show my kids the life teeming in that water under the microscope. Just as I was about to collect some water, it all dried up, instantly. I looked up, and was face to face with this huge snake, hooded like a cobra. I had two thoughts going. The first was to not be afraid, that this snake had a message for me and to stay still and listen. The other, stronger thought was that the snake wanted to kill me and to run away fast. The snake began to appear more menacing, so I ran from it. As I ran, I couldn't help but feel that I made the wrong choice. Now, of all the nights of dreamless dreams, I get dreams like this. So strange. I read some things in passing about serpents and kundalini, so perhaps this was just the result of that?

OlderWiser, all I did the first day was take a shower with a bowl of distilled water mixed with honey, and scrub myself with the sea salt, then after, sprinkle sea salt in every corner of my house, starting with the east and going clockwise. I was given prayers to recite, and made a promise not to divulge them, sorry. Anyway, I swept all the salt out of the back of my house, then placed a large white candle in every room. She told me to get plain candles, but the only ones I could find were vanilla scented. Seems they worked fine, however, when I mentioned this to her afterwards, she got pretty adamant about them being non-scented, no explanation to that. Hey, whatever, it worked, was all my concern. IF those symptoms return, I'll order some non-scented ones and start over. I am on day 2 and so far, so good! An added plus: the scent of vanilla was a HUGE turn-on for me and my husband, enough said :) (I might add no sex until Sunday :?) I have to do the prayers and salt scrub thing until Saturday. On Sunday I have to take the candles to the woods and bury them. I find this all very very interesting, and would like to learn more about it, but promised myself to wait for that until after the exam.

[MD2BE]

Got my lab results, happy to say they were negative, and there is no organic explanation for my symptoms. Since the little ritual, no more muscle weakness, therefore no need for the neurologist. So, panic attacks it is :) What sneaky things they are! My Rx? Guided meditations. Got suggestions for tapes and CDs to listen to. Well, here's to calming down :) Thanks again to all here. I wish you all peace, success and LOVE.

[Korpo]

And back to you. They grow when more people have it. :D

Seems you are back at the helm of your life, hm?

Good success and take good care,
Oliver

[MD2BE]

So that crap came back! All was good today, as have been the past few days, until today (or yesterday, as it's almost 5am). Someone came over, a relative, whom I have not seen in a while. As soon as she came in, the dizzies came. I didn't feel as uneasy, just kind of disappointed. I want this all to make sense. We talked about lots of mundane type things, and she became very emotional about some things from the past, and by this time I was trying really hard to keep composure despite sensations of whirling out of control. And then, it happened. She began throw her beliefs upon me (she's a christian that belongs to a church that believes in demons and possession and whatnot--go figure) about how if we don't give ourselves over to JC, we attract these bugaboos that want to screw with our happiness, etc. She went on about how you can tell you got demons, describing basically all my weird symptoms, which I never told her about, BTW. She has always appeared mildly delusional to me, a person who feels it's her duty to be ridden by some negative event or another, and as a defense mech, she tries to help others, by counseling tem, casting out their bugaboos. All the while this was going on, a phrase popped up in my mind, and kept repeating--there is no greater power than the power of love. Eventually I interrupted her with this phrase. Suddenly, she up and left, mumbling something as she hurried and said she'd be back. Needless to say, it freaked me out. Could she be a cause of this? If I feel this dizzy $hit when I get up later, I'll be ready to get medieval on somebody, seriously, enough is enough!

[Korpo]

Hello, MD2BE.

When did the sensations or the change of atmosphere start? When your relative came? When she came over to your house, when she entered your estate?

A few details might go a long way in analysing this.

It *could* be that your relative's obsession with demons and such *might* be a subconscious reaction to an attachment to her. IMO real inner spiritual love protects, but spouting out scripture without deep belief is just lip service.

Perhaps you could analyse the visit further, take another salt bath to be sure. Learn how to do Core Image Removal. And perhaps you can even find access to that Love you described?

Take good care and be well,
Oliver

[elendal]

All the while this was going on, a phrase popped up in my mind, and kept repeating--there is no greater power than the power of love. Eventually I interrupted her with this phrase. Suddenly, she up and left, mumbling something as she hurried and said she'd be back. Needless to say, it freaked me out. Could she be a cause of this? If I feel this dizzy $hit when I get up later, I'll be ready to get medieval on somebody, seriously, enough is enough!
Your cousin isn't the cause of anything. She was just being used, without knowing it herself, to bring you "back in the line". You strayed too far into freedom, and that's something that always requires attention from the source that used her.

What you feel is not new. I had exactly the same symptoms while I was going through a period of panic attacks several years ago. Going through it helped me immensely to realize the situation all people are in. We are just not aware of our situation... yet.

That dream you had, begging a man to cut off your leg... You tried to take the easy way out of this situation we are all in. Since it was your own wish, you were liberated from your problem and left alone. But, that kind of liberation is only a temporary relief. The situation hasn't changed, and what is influencing people (you, as well as everyone else) is still "out there".

You'll have to find in yourself the courage to stop looking for easy ways out.

I am sorry to have to say this, but you took responsibility for something before you came to this world. You can always try to evade that responsibility, and you will be allowed to do that. But others, the friends you've never met, will suffer because of your choice. I know I may be making little sense to you, but try to feel what I'm saying. You can feel it even if you have no conscious knowledge about it.

The struggle is still going on, and it's intensifying. I've been feeling it for over a month now. Expect more of the same in the future. Other people you know may try similar tricks on you. They will not do it out of their own free will, but will be compelled to do it without realizing it. Forgive them and move on. There are more important things coming our way.

[DAN]

elendal

All people are in.

This doesn't make much sense, if that was true i think we would all be screwed :?

Dan

[MD2BE]

Interesting replies!

She was already in my home when I came downstairs, everyone was going through some stuff she brought over from her house, old junk she thought we might want: her old wedding veil (she's 2 years out of a failed marriage), some brandy snifters, and a rope of beaded garland, a weird hodge-podge of stuff. Plus some cake, it was her birthday recently. We talked about so many things, mostly her own issues with coping with family. She feels like a victim in so many scenarios. She makes assumptions about people's feelings, then goes fault-finding and clue-searching to support her views, much of which is unfair or plain ridiculous. She's a beautiful woman, with a huge heart, but a heavy heart. She comes off as using her religion to help her avoid facing her truths. She has potential to be bigger and better, lighter and happier, but somehow, she's duped into finding such comfort in misery. With every bad thing she mentioned, I gave her a viable option, or helped her see a lesson, just to keep positive flow into the conversation. It's not healthy in her eyes that I am not religous. I told her, our only difference was that she chooses to drink from a crystal chalice, I from a plastic cup. But what matters most at the end of the day is, we're both drinking the same water. After an hour of this kind of talk, the dizzies came. Her conversation and expression seemed to grow darker. More desperate, less coherent. "The demons give false comforts, cloud up your mind so you can't recognize what's good anymore". The feeling grew more intense, and that's when I started to say what I said about love, she left abruptly. I woke up today feeling fine. Today my kids were invited to her place, we declined.

Elandal, you are right, I can make neither heads nor tails of what you wrote, but thank you for sharing your thoughts. Perhaps in the future, I'll be more enlightened and then understand it :)

[Palehorse Redivivus]

Hi MD,

You've gotten some good feedback already, but something that occurred to me that I haven 't seen mentioned yet is that you might want to look into shielding if you haven't already. If your problems can be triggered by certain people (or anything that might be attached to them) it might help to block out that kind of energy/influence.

There's a good thread on shielding here: http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?t=2479

[elendal]

All people are in.
This doesn't make much sense, if that was true i think we would all be screwed :?Dan
But we are. Our society is such a clear example of it, but we don't see it because we can't imagine anything being different. It's a different perspective one has to look from in order to see it. It's like we are living in a carbon box for our whole lives, and we can't even imagine what lies outside of it. We've simply never seen it. Even OBEs and APs take us only to a bigger box. Only when you really leave the box, you can look back and see it for what it really was.

On the positive side, this is just a passing period of human history that has to be lived through. Otherwise, we'd make exactly the same mistakes so many had made before us.

It will change, and after the change people will truly understand what kind of prison they all lived in. We are all in this together, so there's no point in blaming anything on another human being, even those we love to hate. That was my message to MD2BE.

[MD2BE]

All people are in.
This doesn't make much sense, if that was true i think we would all be screwed :?Dan
But we are. Our society is such a clear example of it, but we don't see it because we can't imagine anything being different. It's a different perspective one has to look from in order to see it. It's like we are living in a carbon box for our whole lives, and we can't even imagine what lies outside of it. We've simply never seen it. Even OBEs and APs take us only to a bigger box. Only when you really leave the box, you can look back and see it for what it really was.

On the positive side, this is just a passing period of human history that has to be lived through. Otherwise, we'd make exactly the same mistakes so many had made before us.

It will change, and after the change people will truly understand what kind of prison they all lived in. We are all in this together, so there's no point in blaming anything on another human being, even those we love to hate. That was my message to MD2BE.

I think I understand this now, thank you Elendal.

Update: Had a breakthrough with my sisinlaw. I threw out all those old things she brought to us as 'gifts', then did a cleansing of my home. I cleansed myself, then put my "shields" up. She came to visit, and like before, we talked. This time, she appeared more humbled, and more receptive and actually broke down. She admitted to me that she never did that before. I am sure it was a long overdue release. I imagine that what I had done earlier with salt, she was doing to herself with her tears. After, she took a nap. After waking, she thanked me for "what I did" for her. I don't feel like I did anything, other than to listen. But ever since, and it has been a week, no more of those bad feelings, symptoms. To this day, I still can't say whether or not she had anything to do with the stuff I was feeling from the beginning or not. What I can say is that life is good, and I am ready to write my boards. Peace and love to me, to you, to everyone :)

[serenity2778]

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