Korpo
10th November 2009, 11:03 AM
Sometimes life can throw challenging situations at us. Our circumstances change, and we are required to change in some way. Of course we have a choice of how to change. But we do not always feel up to it. It may seem overwhelming. We may be unsure what to do. Or we may know what to do but find it very hard to implement.
I found a method that is simple to describe. It is one of the tools you could employ when you are stuck when faced with a new situation. It has a liberating effect, clears you up, and it can be employed anytime, actually it works best when you use it all the time!
The method
The basic method is really simple:
Whenever you find yourself being stuck in limiting thoughts, recognise it - any time during the day - and have the intent to let go of it. Say in your mind "Let go, let go."
This might sound extremely simple, and it is, but the challenge is in recognising when you are stuck in limited thinking and implement this little change. Furthermore, don't be upset about having these thoughts. Say it, if you can, detachedly, or say it in a relaxed way.
You have to put a little trust in this. At first it may not be more than make-believe. Just do it, don't put big expectations behind it. You're changing a habit of thought here, and you might be creating and reinforcing that habit for a long time, and undoing might take some time. But I dare say - the more consistent you are, the quicker change will come.
What has this do with meditative skills?
One basic way of approaching meditation is built up of two things: Noticing when you are distracted and getting back to what you were doing. You first have to notice that your mind strayed before you can implement some counter-action, like refocussing on your object of meditation.
Through persisting in training this skill you start to get better at it. It gets both easier to "wake up" and notice that your mind is doing something different than what you wanted it to do and to bring it back. You might get quicker at noticing thoughts creeping in. You might get a clearer, more detached perception at that point of waking up.
At the same time the kind of reaction you are having is important. Strong emotional reactions can spoil your efforts. A typical initial reaction is to get upset when noticing that your mind wandered, thinking one is failing in meditation. This is an unhelpful attitude - instead recognise that you did the wonderful feat of waking up out of your automatic thinking habits and do really see what is happening. You access something within you, the capability to observe yourself. This is the first step for change. First, notice what is going on. And then you have at least the possibility to put in some action that can induce change.
Going beyond sitting meditation
Once you got to the point that these skills are available to you you can take them outside of meditation. Many people think meditation just happens when you sit in lotus position or when you are sitting perfectly still or doing a ritual or practice of some sorts. But the skills you cultivate are there every day and can become tools for change.
I personally find it nearly impossible to work with thoughts in meditation. Whenever I want to observe my thoughts while sitting I tend to shut of the mental flow. Some people can do that right away, some people acquire it over time, but at this point it does not really happen for me.
But everyday life is a constant trigger for habits of thought. The more trapped you might find yourself in habitual reactions the more potential material to work with real life will throw at you. If you wake up to it, if this feat of awareness happens for you, you now have a simple tool to work with it. To shape the habits of your own mind and induce change.
There are meditations that want you to be present in every moment, in whatever you do. I find that a very challenging starting point. But even those methods cultivate this waking-up kind of awareness in sitting meditation. You can use this skill any time you get the chance, but from my point of view you should not get stuck on thinking you have to. See it as a very simple task that does not ask a superhuman thing of you. Once you become aware something within you is just running along in auto pilot which you feel is not benefitting you, have the intent to let it go.
What do I need to let go of?
This depends a bit on your discernment. Sometimes you are worried by things you should indeed be worried about. If you don't study for an exam, you usually fail. If you don't pay your bills, there will be consequences.
Look for habitual thoughts.
Are you beating yourself up over the same thing over and over again? Do you feel guilty and ashamed? Do these reactions limit you and prevent you from making changes you think are necessary? Let go!
Are you constantly thinking angry thoughts about another person? Are you fantasizing about confronting that person? Does this feeling of being justified and them being wrong rise within you? Do you feel yourself constantly coming back to angry thoughts and then remain angry? Let go!
Are you afraid? Do you feel inadequate, try to list to yourself the reasons why you are inadequate, a failure, why you should be afraid? Are you imagining horrible outcomes? Let go!
Do you find yourself brooding over the past? Do you replay past hurts, past mistakes? Do you often think "What if" in a longing way, would like to change a past that leads to a present you feel uneasy with? Let go!
All these things have one thing in common. They drag you back into the past and into mind states that don't benefit you now. Even if you feel you are totally right and justified about an argument or past situation, don't you feel horrible after you got dragged back into a mental re-creation of that argument?
As long as your mind is playing back the same ol' about the past it creates resistance. Resistance to change. This will lead to suffering, because you stay stuck and it prevents moving forward. Do you want to have the same arguments with the people in your life over and over? Do you really want to replay past hurts over and over, and let them influence your future decisions? Do you want to be trapped in habitual reactions like snapping at people or overreacting?
If your answer is no, you can use this little method and set something in motion.
Dealing with a specific issue
This may not appeal to you, or it may, but I found one way that can help you deal with a specific issue rather immediately. I would call it prayer.
I wanted to get over an issue. I wanted to move beyond it. I had the wish, clearly, to make a change and go with it and not be tripped up by past hurt. So, I expressed it out loud. I called upon Spirit to help me, to help me release this resistance and to come out the other side. To move through and beyond it. I did not want to be stuck in old hurt. I knew what the change was, and now I asked for help to release what caused resistance to it.
At first I was overwhelmed. All kinds of emotions came up. Within hours my state of mind changed from kind-of detached to intense emotional reactions. I was flooded by what I could only call my fears, my past anger, the hurt. I did not make the connection to what I had asked for earlier. It was quite something, but not exactly too much.
At night I was lying in bed, and I started to recount my fears and feelings to myself, and started to try to release them, and that helped some, but I awoke in a similarly concerned state. At some point during the day the little method came to me. I just did it. I followed an inspiration. At first I let go of some things. It turned out to be a bit harder to will myself to let go of things where I felt justified, where I could recount myself all the little reason why I was right (and the other wrong).
At some point I started to let go of things even from different areas of life, where I would divert these feelings to - like fantasizing about making a scene to a co-worker and portray myself as a victim worthy of pity, making the co-worker feel bad. I realised that this kind of rehearsal had the feeling of the same old tape running in the head like the other things I started to let go of.
After doing this for a while I noticed how less of this material came up. The dam had broken, but now the flood was over and it all became way more manageable. I feel clear again. I realised within short time how effective this method of letting go had been for me, and I realised how much it felt initially like pretending something or like nothing would happen. But something must have clearly happened, I can feel the change.
So, if you are sure you have to face a certain challenge, this is a way to start.
Some final thoughts
All this method does is give you a simple tool for changing the way your own mind works. As the Buddha said: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought.†By changing the way you think you can change who you are. You will increase your ability to make free choices in your life. Your past will dictate your future much less. You can gain a sense of detachment from situations, move out of them, beyond them, learn to make choices in clarity.
Changing your mind is not that hard, either. Of course it will differ from person to person, and how deep an issue is engrained into you will clearly play a role. But doing something over and over again, consistency, has its own power. Habit can be overcome. Freedom is the result. Once you notice that you regain the ability to chose, you will arrive at a new feeling of freedom. Your mind will over time become clearer. You won't be dragged around by habitual thoughts as much. Who knows what can happen if your mind settles in this way, bit by bit being freed of the chains of habit?
I believe that you can never lose the truth by letting go. So don't be afraid. You cannot lose love this way, nor the truth. They are never truely lost, but often obfuscated. And everything that obfuscates truth or love can always be let gone of, and once again you regain the ability to live from them. Don't be overly surprised by the outcomes. Accept unexpected outcomes. What you originally perceived as the problem might be subject to change, too. Be open to that.
Of course this is not an omnipotent cure nor an instant solution. This is just a little method that you may find beneficial or not. Many tools are available, and if you like this one - good luck!
Oliver
I found a method that is simple to describe. It is one of the tools you could employ when you are stuck when faced with a new situation. It has a liberating effect, clears you up, and it can be employed anytime, actually it works best when you use it all the time!
The method
The basic method is really simple:
Whenever you find yourself being stuck in limiting thoughts, recognise it - any time during the day - and have the intent to let go of it. Say in your mind "Let go, let go."
This might sound extremely simple, and it is, but the challenge is in recognising when you are stuck in limited thinking and implement this little change. Furthermore, don't be upset about having these thoughts. Say it, if you can, detachedly, or say it in a relaxed way.
You have to put a little trust in this. At first it may not be more than make-believe. Just do it, don't put big expectations behind it. You're changing a habit of thought here, and you might be creating and reinforcing that habit for a long time, and undoing might take some time. But I dare say - the more consistent you are, the quicker change will come.
What has this do with meditative skills?
One basic way of approaching meditation is built up of two things: Noticing when you are distracted and getting back to what you were doing. You first have to notice that your mind strayed before you can implement some counter-action, like refocussing on your object of meditation.
Through persisting in training this skill you start to get better at it. It gets both easier to "wake up" and notice that your mind is doing something different than what you wanted it to do and to bring it back. You might get quicker at noticing thoughts creeping in. You might get a clearer, more detached perception at that point of waking up.
At the same time the kind of reaction you are having is important. Strong emotional reactions can spoil your efforts. A typical initial reaction is to get upset when noticing that your mind wandered, thinking one is failing in meditation. This is an unhelpful attitude - instead recognise that you did the wonderful feat of waking up out of your automatic thinking habits and do really see what is happening. You access something within you, the capability to observe yourself. This is the first step for change. First, notice what is going on. And then you have at least the possibility to put in some action that can induce change.
Going beyond sitting meditation
Once you got to the point that these skills are available to you you can take them outside of meditation. Many people think meditation just happens when you sit in lotus position or when you are sitting perfectly still or doing a ritual or practice of some sorts. But the skills you cultivate are there every day and can become tools for change.
I personally find it nearly impossible to work with thoughts in meditation. Whenever I want to observe my thoughts while sitting I tend to shut of the mental flow. Some people can do that right away, some people acquire it over time, but at this point it does not really happen for me.
But everyday life is a constant trigger for habits of thought. The more trapped you might find yourself in habitual reactions the more potential material to work with real life will throw at you. If you wake up to it, if this feat of awareness happens for you, you now have a simple tool to work with it. To shape the habits of your own mind and induce change.
There are meditations that want you to be present in every moment, in whatever you do. I find that a very challenging starting point. But even those methods cultivate this waking-up kind of awareness in sitting meditation. You can use this skill any time you get the chance, but from my point of view you should not get stuck on thinking you have to. See it as a very simple task that does not ask a superhuman thing of you. Once you become aware something within you is just running along in auto pilot which you feel is not benefitting you, have the intent to let it go.
What do I need to let go of?
This depends a bit on your discernment. Sometimes you are worried by things you should indeed be worried about. If you don't study for an exam, you usually fail. If you don't pay your bills, there will be consequences.
Look for habitual thoughts.
Are you beating yourself up over the same thing over and over again? Do you feel guilty and ashamed? Do these reactions limit you and prevent you from making changes you think are necessary? Let go!
Are you constantly thinking angry thoughts about another person? Are you fantasizing about confronting that person? Does this feeling of being justified and them being wrong rise within you? Do you feel yourself constantly coming back to angry thoughts and then remain angry? Let go!
Are you afraid? Do you feel inadequate, try to list to yourself the reasons why you are inadequate, a failure, why you should be afraid? Are you imagining horrible outcomes? Let go!
Do you find yourself brooding over the past? Do you replay past hurts, past mistakes? Do you often think "What if" in a longing way, would like to change a past that leads to a present you feel uneasy with? Let go!
All these things have one thing in common. They drag you back into the past and into mind states that don't benefit you now. Even if you feel you are totally right and justified about an argument or past situation, don't you feel horrible after you got dragged back into a mental re-creation of that argument?
As long as your mind is playing back the same ol' about the past it creates resistance. Resistance to change. This will lead to suffering, because you stay stuck and it prevents moving forward. Do you want to have the same arguments with the people in your life over and over? Do you really want to replay past hurts over and over, and let them influence your future decisions? Do you want to be trapped in habitual reactions like snapping at people or overreacting?
If your answer is no, you can use this little method and set something in motion.
Dealing with a specific issue
This may not appeal to you, or it may, but I found one way that can help you deal with a specific issue rather immediately. I would call it prayer.
I wanted to get over an issue. I wanted to move beyond it. I had the wish, clearly, to make a change and go with it and not be tripped up by past hurt. So, I expressed it out loud. I called upon Spirit to help me, to help me release this resistance and to come out the other side. To move through and beyond it. I did not want to be stuck in old hurt. I knew what the change was, and now I asked for help to release what caused resistance to it.
At first I was overwhelmed. All kinds of emotions came up. Within hours my state of mind changed from kind-of detached to intense emotional reactions. I was flooded by what I could only call my fears, my past anger, the hurt. I did not make the connection to what I had asked for earlier. It was quite something, but not exactly too much.
At night I was lying in bed, and I started to recount my fears and feelings to myself, and started to try to release them, and that helped some, but I awoke in a similarly concerned state. At some point during the day the little method came to me. I just did it. I followed an inspiration. At first I let go of some things. It turned out to be a bit harder to will myself to let go of things where I felt justified, where I could recount myself all the little reason why I was right (and the other wrong).
At some point I started to let go of things even from different areas of life, where I would divert these feelings to - like fantasizing about making a scene to a co-worker and portray myself as a victim worthy of pity, making the co-worker feel bad. I realised that this kind of rehearsal had the feeling of the same old tape running in the head like the other things I started to let go of.
After doing this for a while I noticed how less of this material came up. The dam had broken, but now the flood was over and it all became way more manageable. I feel clear again. I realised within short time how effective this method of letting go had been for me, and I realised how much it felt initially like pretending something or like nothing would happen. But something must have clearly happened, I can feel the change.
So, if you are sure you have to face a certain challenge, this is a way to start.
Some final thoughts
All this method does is give you a simple tool for changing the way your own mind works. As the Buddha said: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought.†By changing the way you think you can change who you are. You will increase your ability to make free choices in your life. Your past will dictate your future much less. You can gain a sense of detachment from situations, move out of them, beyond them, learn to make choices in clarity.
Changing your mind is not that hard, either. Of course it will differ from person to person, and how deep an issue is engrained into you will clearly play a role. But doing something over and over again, consistency, has its own power. Habit can be overcome. Freedom is the result. Once you notice that you regain the ability to chose, you will arrive at a new feeling of freedom. Your mind will over time become clearer. You won't be dragged around by habitual thoughts as much. Who knows what can happen if your mind settles in this way, bit by bit being freed of the chains of habit?
I believe that you can never lose the truth by letting go. So don't be afraid. You cannot lose love this way, nor the truth. They are never truely lost, but often obfuscated. And everything that obfuscates truth or love can always be let gone of, and once again you regain the ability to live from them. Don't be overly surprised by the outcomes. Accept unexpected outcomes. What you originally perceived as the problem might be subject to change, too. Be open to that.
Of course this is not an omnipotent cure nor an instant solution. This is just a little method that you may find beneficial or not. Many tools are available, and if you like this one - good luck!
Oliver