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View Full Version : How desire can become inhibitor



Tiny
4th March 2010, 11:55 AM
Dear folks,

I want to share with you this story of mine that is something that happened to me very recently in fact it was yesterday.

I was meditating deep invigorating, healing sessions.
I had developed it to the point where I would no longer be in need to focus on a physical point of reference as i felt myself slipping into a mental void at utter ease. This went on until I suddenly found myself unable to slip into trance, very unlike i was used to.
This quickly took on intense frustration and feelings of helplessness, not knowing why and a dawning of terror as tho delivered to some mysterious force that would decide over my mental state.
Little at that point did I realize that I myself had become addicted, "attached" to the trance of meditation. Every practitioner knows how delirious trance can feel. I so desired this trance that I started to try and force it in. At this point it must be noted, that even tho i can't make it sound accurately as it was - this was happening at a subconscious level - i was not fully aware of what was going on and what i was doing.
Needless to say, in spiritual work one can not achieve a thing by trying to force it. Everyone knows that things must be merely intended and then allowed to happen.
As I tried to force in the trance state and realized that it didn't work, this developed into incredible frustration, as mentioned before.
It took me a day of investigation into my subconscious mind to fully realize what had happened to me, that i had become attached and addicted to the delirium of trance.
So, my subtle attachment was acting as a potent inhibitor.

It is obvious why I've decided to share this personal story with you - to show you an example of what is possible and how easy one can imprison oneself in the realm of mind.
We must always remember that even if one's mind programming is a result of outside influence and manipulation which in most cases it is i must infer, oneself always acts as the last switch, deciding to accept or reject a form of thought.


peace

CFTraveler
4th March 2010, 03:54 PM
This reminds me of the buddhist tenet or (reported) saying- The Buddha said something along the lines of 'it's not things that cause suffering, it is the attachment that causes suffering'. Many people find this out the hard way. And it's so easy to become attached to an outcome. Thanks for sharing this, Tiny- and welcome back.