• Shadowfall

    The gnarled old floor creaks ominously underfoot
    As my broken spirit plummets,
    Spiralling hopelessly downward
    To where the shattered picture lies,
    Framed amidst glittering blood-drenched shards;
    Gritty, gut-crunching splinters
    Stinging my cold, bare feet.


    I try once again and....


    I've lost my smile forever now
    And know not where it went.
    Stripped so unkindly away
    With such dry-sobbing sadness:
    Tear-drenched, bitter-sweet memories
    Ring endlessly throughout this darkness
    That was me.


    I try once again and....


    Oh once I was so young and rich and proud,
    Sparkling brightly under time's slow rich burden,
    Wanting so much to grow up faster
    That I guess I finally did.
    But life's flown by so quickly now
    That its caught me up at last,
    And for the life of me....I cannot hold this back!


    I try once again and....


    Mind-Shadows rise and fall....mocking me
    With such wry grave good-humour
    As life unwinds inside my tortured mind;
    Flashing full of strangely familiar faces.
    I look up, gasping....gagging and scared;
    Stringy saliva trickling slowly down the barrel,
    As I cling tightly to my sad little spark.


    I try once again and....


    I want all my days over again...so very much.
    Oh to be a child once more
    With brimming bubbly heart
    In a world full of bright-eyed delights;
    Chasing butterflies all my sunny days through,
    Watching the waters sweetly flowing
    Under all my life's bridges once more.


    I try once again and....


    So much have I missed!
    So much have I wasted!
    So much have I lost!
    So little have I done.


    What was it like to sit on Dad's lap?
    What did he feel like way back then?
    I can remember his smell, his voice, his strength.
    But can I remember all of him?
    Will he still love me?
    Will he forgive me?
    Will I ever know now?


    What was it like to sit on Mum's lap?
    What did she feel like way back then?
    I can remember her smell, her voice, her warmth.
    But can I remember all of her?
    Will she still love me?
    Will she forgive me?
    Will I ever know now?


    But Suicide....is....Forever!


    And I feel so very sad and lonely now,
    So cold and small and tired and utterly alone.
    My mind vomiting gaping black shadows
    As the tangy taste of tear-drenched steel
    Fills my trembling mouth once more.


    I try once again, and....


    Maybe this time I can really, really do it,
    And send my sad little spark shooting out;
    Flying far, far away into that big dark night out there.
    And oh my dear God...please...have mercy,
    For I cannot stand this pain!


    I try once again, and....


    ....brief candle....OUT!


    The trembling floor begins its grisly red-grey feast
    As the mindless dance begins:
    With just a quiet drumming of heels
    In some God-forsaken nightmare
    As some mother's child gives in.


    Copyright 1992 Robert Bruce

  • Introducing Robert Bruce


    Robert Bruce is an internationally respected author, mystic, and speaker.For over 30 years, Robert has explored the mechanics, energetics and dynamics of paranormal and spiritual phenomena (how things work); especially Out-of-Body Experience, the human energy body, healing and self-healing, spiritual development, psychic self-defence and higher-self communications.
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