GMAN12

I have yet to find out my past life. I am very eager though to find out who I was before this life. I seemed to put many challenges in front of myself. Challenges that make me seem to lose focus when meditating, causing emotional distress and a ton of depression. I usually only share deep personal thoughts to relatives, but this community's awesome and learning to let things out is what I need todo to get it off my mind. I am from The island of Oahu in the state of Hawaii. I live in a small town full of Mormons. We are the only ones on our island with a Mormon temple. I sparked curiosity once in my life in which my Great grandmother's parent's where healers and some type of mediums. The next event seemed coincidental. I had met a Korean healer. He was awesome. He sparked my curiosity even more. I remember watching him do divination with his pendulum. I remember him knowing I had asthma by placing his hands above my head and reading me. Another coincidence happened in which the Dalai Lama would write how he would reincarnate once he turns 90. I then saw a post by Robert Bruce somewhere talking about astral projection which led me to get interested in astral projection. Unfortunately, I had no money to buy any of his programs and started to look elsewhere for research of OBE's. I recall learning about Initiation Into Hermetics. Due to my programming within my church, I felt hesitant to buy the book. people claiming that you have to be at least thirty years old had me believing, so I decided to do my own research and decided I should buy the book. I looked up to find other information that would aid in completing the book. I stumbled upon the hermetics forum where I had met some members who are also from here. I then decided to make an account here and at Aunt Clair's forum. After this had happened, I had episodes coming from the past, Bullied by a bigger kid till two years ago, being called a stalker by a relative and other family matters like a divorce and moving somewhere else also sparked it in. My mind became blank. I started to get depressed. I didn't know who I were anymore. My identity as I knew it disappeared. I had suicide attempts, but non successful. I found out myself hat things happen for a reason. I found out I had a kundalini awakening. This made me think about yoga and magic and rapidly helped me move through a couple of steps of IIH. This is where it began. All those experiences where to knock out my inner programming bit by bit to help me realize. I still have yet to destroy and unlearn many things so that I may realize my truth, that one day I may return to my creator and full his everlasting love.
This is one of many other blog posts. Thank you for reading!