Tijopi11

Since I'm surprised to see that I've been improving in my goal of an OBE, I've decided to start keeping a log of progress. I plan to post a blog each time something significant happens. It's funny because, as a skeptic, I didn't believe I would make ANY progress at all. It's been a few months and I've actually made what seems to be significant progress! Perhaps skeptic isn't the best word to describe my feelings: The evolution of mankind, whether that be in culture or in morality, is meaningless to me without something further. I've been greatly troubled by mankind's overwhelming desire- a desire bigger than our inimaginably infinite consciousness and creativity- to be more than a chance creation from what is simply put in front of us: in our 3-D earthly senses. I feel as a species, we have been somewhat trapped in an endless cycle of grief particularly in the denial stage. The idea that life ends upon death is so difficult to take that I think we rarely take it into consideration, let alone seriously consider it's dire implications. I know that YOU guys (probably) have no doubts, so excuse me pessimism I'm here to learn! This is really my personal journey of self-discovery.
So far in terms of improvement:
I suppose It's not as amazing as finding myself in an out of body experience, but I personally think I've made amazing imporvement.
1. Somehow, in my attempts at achieving an OBE or at least the first stage of meditation, I've significantly improved my chances of having a lucid dream. I've had about 6 lucid dreams in my life (I'm 16.) I've been trying to have an OBE for about...3 months? More or less (I didn't write down the date, darn it.) Before then, I've had 3 lucid dreams seperated by several years, with the third happening somewhere around 4-6 years ago. Since my OBE training, I've had a staggering 3 more (logically about a month apart, but I feel like they're been closer than that.) The first I believe I wrote in it's entirety on this forum somewhere. I noted that I had very little control over it despite knowing it was a dream and having generally appropriate thoughts and emotions toward the situation. The lucidity lasted the entire dream, from the very MOMENT i entered it to the very last thing i remember. The next one I suddenly realized my lucidity at some point in the middle. I had WAY more control here which I think is due to my determination to make good decisions this time around. I remembered to try again and make an OBE while lucid dreaming (I remembered to try to make an OBE the first time, but didn't follow through with any attempts.) this time I tried two methods: spinning around making myself dizzy in the hopes of getting into an astral dimension, while closing my eyes and imagining myself there. I also tried to just concentrate and imagine myself in real time, looking at myself in bed. Both times failed, and despite my best efforts, I forgot my lucidity toward the end and spent a good portion of the dream out of lucidity (in my defense, I was trying to escape being chased by a mob of gangsters and a bulldog. All of which bad results of trying to manifest things in my lucid dream. I was trying to take babysteps and instead of making an OBE, i would practice creating the reality of my dream.) The last one was delightfully last night. The first lucid dream, I was very smug and amused upon finding myself in lucidity and would only be absolutely surprised upon awakening. The second time I was shocked and amazed that I had two lucid dreams. This time, it felt like I was eased into it. It was a weird feeling, like it had to SETTLE into my brai somehow- liek the thought was coming slow until the speed of memory caught up. I remember my exact quote in my head: "wait- is this...? Wait...it's coming to me....Ah, this is a lucid dream." I was smiling like a goodball upon realization and unlike the last two times, where I was seriously determined to do things right, this time I was very calm and non-chalant about the situation (as if the third time finally subdued my shock at lucidity) and I rose my hands like a wizard preparing to do a magic trick and thought to myself "alright- let's have another crack at manifesting reality in lucid dreaming!" Unfortunetly, the lucidity lasted what felt like moments. The part mentioned here was all that I remember of my lucidity, accept maybe one or two attempts at failed reality warping, until I lost lucidity all together.
^I find all this pretty awesome since I haven't done much work on trying to have more lucid dreams. I wanted too, but I had decided to wait on it. It worked out pretty well

2. As for meditation, I did reach something pretty interesting a while back. I was doing my then normal meditation drills: that is I completely relaxed, concentrated on each body part and relaxed it for about 5 seconds each, and then I began counting back slowly from 100 to 0. I wasn't expecting ANYTHING to happen, I was just trying to calm down so I could move onto what i thought was the real trick to meditating: the meditation techniques from the Astral Dynamics book. The steps before that was kind of like running through the drills, like stretching before the big run- stretching isn't hardly part of it- it's just the stuff before the big deal. While counting back from 100 to 0, I started feeling numb feelings that felt good. I thought this was pretty cool, but i kept no mind to it. Suddenly (and it wasn't gradual, it was kind of a shock) at around number 60, I felt incredibly good. My whole body had that sort of numb feeling that feels good. This good feeling escalated all the sudden, and it didn't last a second like I thought it would- it kept going! I kept counting, amazed at this, and everytime I reached 5's and 10's (60, 55, 50, 45, 40) My whole body would feel a sort of pulse that intensified the good feelings that went down my body in a wave. I forgot if it came from my heart, but for some reason I'm thinking it wen from my head to my toes. It felt so good that I kept stumbling on counting down, I had to remind myself to keep at it. This kept up to about 30. At around 30, I began panicking because I was afraid at EXACTLY 0 that the feelings would cease like they never even started. I tried to count the numbers more slow, but I was also afraid this would lesson the effects. At the same time, those sensations began dimming, and then at 0, they pretty much went away even though I tried my best not to move an inch and just relax. They kind of blew away like a leaf in the wind- it wasn't VERY gradual nor was it sudden- about the time it takes to swallow and feel food go down your throat until you couldn't feel it anymore in the stomach. Another odd feeling. I opened my eyes and it was definitely gone then, so I tried to count from 100 to 0 but I was so eager that I wasn't able to be relaxed again. I was counting as quick as I could to be honest, trying to get to 60. The sensation didn't really ever come back, but I could still kind of feel the 'after-shock' of those feelings, so I just went to sleep trying to savor it. Ever since then, I haven't been able to get those feelings quite as intensely since I'm always so eager to get from 100 to 0 already, but I still feel them lightly like just before that big shock. Like a light wind before it suddenly picks up and almost sweeps you off your feet- I can feel the light wind but can never get back to the sudden pick-up! I find this pretty ironic because, during those intense feelings, I was considering trying a meditation technique and then an OBE technique, but the feelings were so good that I was afraid of losing them if I did. I've read about people not wanting to try an OBE because they were feeling so good while meditating, and I always thought these people must be nuts! "How could an OBE be less exciting than sitting around and relaxing?" is what I would think. In my defense, I didn't know how strong those sensations were! I thought it was just like not being stressed for a moment and that's it

That pretty much sums up my progress, or at least the best of it. now to keep practicing!