Enigma

THIS IS A REPOST OF SOMETHING I JUST POSTED ON THE OBE FORUM - I wanted to add it permanently to my blog here. More posts added later.

POST: http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/sho...ering-progress

Originally Posted by Enigma

Just as a foreword, I should mention a couple things about my current situation. I technically live with my mother, as we both share a house, but the basement of our house was built separate, with its own kitchen and etc - so I pay my own rent for the entire basement of the house. This was the best living arrangement we could both afford as I had a child young (my son is turning 6 - I'm 24) and this allowed me to have access to a separate place of my own while still being in constant contact with my mother, who has graciously helped me out (physically) over the years while I go to college and etc. While I understand some people may not agree with our living arrangement, or have other "views" on what should have been done when I had a son so young, I would please ask those folks to not use this opportunity to insult me or the way I live my life currently. We can't all live in a perfect world where everything goes right 100% of the time.

That being said, HERE is the reason I'm posting: For the past four/five days or so every time I've set aside a time to practice astral project, or simply just waking up during the night and deciding to.... I've been physically INTERRUPTED by my family. Most of it has been by my mother, who in recent days (within the last month or so) has expressed interest in Astral Projection, acknowledged that it MIGHT be possible, and even going so far as attempting it herself but getting frustrated because the one technique she chose to try didn't work. I have concluded from this that, whether consciously or unconsciously, she has now come to the realization that what I'm experiencing is JUST DREAMS and that I am spending too much time on this venture (any amount of time spent on something that doesn't produce a physical product, or pay the bills, has been shown to aggravate her in the past). What bothers me about all this is that she makes off-hand comments about my mood, how much time I apparently spend "sleeping" (which has not been any more than usual - it just might seem that way to her because more attention is being placed on it than before), how I'm doing "that stuff" instead of, say, cleaning (again, not true), or anything else that would make practicing astral projection/lucid dreaming seem unfavorable or especially unproductive. When I confronted her about this she made it apparently clear that she DOESN'T think it's a "waste of time" or that she KNOWS how important it is to me "right now". I think she honestly believes that this is "a phase", something like an INTEREST I've recently discovered and decided to pour all of my time and energy into without concern for anything else. This is the way I believe she has come to see my practicing of astral projection and all related spiritual endeavors.

I know my mother only wants what's "best" for me, but the stuff she's been doing lately is confusing at best and heartbreaking at worst. If I make a point to tell her WHEN I'm practicing AP, and how I don't want to be disturbed, she makes a point of interrupting my practice. And, usually, it's at the worst possible time - like when I'm getting SO CLOSE to a wake-induced exit, or if im doing a sleep-induced AP (where I set a CHIME to semi-wake me, and try when in that state) she will wake me up moments before the chime goes off. Even if I play binaural beats to black out any noises I might hear, instead of knocking repeatedly on my door YELLING, she will decide to call me (I use my phone and headphones for binaural beats) which immediately wakes me up and scares the living crap out of me in the process (the call comes in at 100% volume and hurts my ears). Every time she interrupts me, it's over something frivolous or unimportant - something that COULDVE WAITED a half hour. She has also made a point of "coming to check on me" during the night, between 3 and 6 AM - when I'm most likely to be practicing, as my son wakes up at 7:30 for school during weekdays - for, again, things that could wait, or to talk about things that we've either already spoken about or that she just wants to complain about, etc. Before I started AP, she would NEVERTHELESS wake me up while I'm sleeping (unless there's an emergency, of course) and never came downstairs to "check on me" in the middle of the night. I can only conclude from this that she is doing this to forcefully stall my progress in astral projection and meditation.

Im assuming she is doing it unconsciously because whenever I talk to her about it she feels like I'm accusing her of something she's "not guilty of", or etc. However, whether it is unconscious or conscious, why would someone want to impede spiritual growth?

I've read somewhere (I can't remember where - sorry) that people will often do this if they feel they are being "spiritually surpassed" or lack something that they view the other person as gaining. I can't understand why my mother would possibly be "jealous" (according to what I read) or willing to stop me from achieving my goals, because they do not immediately produce something physical in return.

If if this is, however, true... Then how do I gently stop her from doing so? I've tried helping her with what I've been practicing but I myself am inexperienced and this is getting worse just after I really started to get a hang of it... And it truly isn't fair. But life rarely ever is.