Korpo
States of consciousness
by
, 17th July 2012 at 09:56 PM (3492 Views)
Often we are of the impression that our reaction to some event in our life is related to that event, and maybe that event only. But any event impacting at our consciousness at any time might trigger a change in the state of consciousness and that state may very well persist after that event does no longer draw our attention.
Years ago a meditation tape made me realise this with the claim that once we're angry we usually can be angry at other, unrelated things that did not trigger the anger originally. Over time I verified this claim by observing myself - suddenly, in mid-thought I would jump from object of anger A to object B but the anger would still have the same quality. I would still feel as justified in my anger about B as I had been about A. Something must have persisted, and it was the state of anger itself.
From an anatomic point of view it's clear: Once your glands started emitting anger hormones, the stage is set. The whole internal machinery has changed into a different gear, the anger gear. From a more experiential perspective the world has taken on a different tone. Our mind is in anger mode, and will react in anger mode until some transition to another state of consciousness occurs.
I remember my teenage years as being heavily colored by anger and sadness. Outside stimuli would filter through only having been laced by these predominant states of consciousness, and it took me years to reduce their prominence in my life and in how I experienced the world around me. That would in turn change the way in which I could express myself, what I could appreciate. My taste in music would change, my behaviors and how I feel about life in general.
So, sometimes states of consciousness can become really dominant and prominent, and have a huge impact on our lives. Some people you may think of as "an angry person" or "a depressed person" or "a happy person", and we somehow have a bit of a notion how such dominant states of consciousness can alter a person's perception. Who hasn't told a friend who was sad and depressed that it ain't all that bad, really? We provide that reality check in the hope we can get them out of that state of consciousness.
Because states of consciousness can entrap the mind. Being caught up in a state of consciousness can cloud our judgement and lead to unwise actions and reactions. It can be hard to find our way out. When in the throes of depression one can often not appreciate the things that would register as okay or even as good things in our lives. The state may color our perception, including the perception of memories, so deeply that it may seem all is for naught.
I find it refreshing, however, that change is possible. My state of consciousness used to be like that. No way out, nothing is worth all of this, pain, existential pain, you name it. But this state can be lessened. "O woe is me" has become a game my mind is less and less apt playing. Just when my mind is busy convincing itself how bad things are or how there is nothing good or whatever a little voice comes up and says how this isn't true, often in the merry company of a memory that proves the whole thing wrong. I cannot seriously persist with the whole self-pity when I contradict myself so quickly. Can't get in the mood anymore.
When the influence of a state of consciousness on the mind has been considerably lessened, it's easier to get out of it and easier to recognise the distortion it causes. The way out can be at times surprising and inspiring. Recently I read something that made me feel very inadequate about my spiritual endeavors. I was getting really angry and frustrated. But when that state of consciousness wanted to take control and berate and besmirch everything in my life, it quickly ran into contradictions. I realised how many things in my life were good or I had turned into something good.
By realising this the whole thing turned around - if it was possible to turn things around, if I had brought good things in my life, then how had I done this? Instead of berating myself according to some arbitrary standard I had set for my spiritual growth in the past I realised that I simply had to change something there and could just turn it into something that would suit me better. I also realised that it was not so much the state of my growth that made me unhappy, or any envy of what others could do, but trying to measure up to some unrealistic standard I had adopted for arbitrary reasons. Like so often, judging was part of creating unhappiness. My state of consciousness had changed into a more free, happier state. Instead of feeling angry and frustrated I felt empowered and capable of creating change in my life, drawing on the experiences in my life that had proven this in the past.
In this sense we can leave the notion behind of being victims to states of consciousness and deal with them easier, until one day the may pass as easily as clouds in the sky. We don't feel anxious about the arising of clouds and we don't hold on to them. One never confuses the cloud for the sky. Why confuse the mind and the self with fleeting states of consciousness?