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Of Resistance

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Sometimes we hear of the path of least resistance and associate it with laziness. And how is this different from "going with the flow?"

To me there is inner resistance and outer resistance. Often going with the flow is the path of least outer resistance, but also the path of most inner resistance.

Inner resistance is when we resist doing something. We don't want to do it. We have a reason. It's below us, it's undignified, it would hurt our pride, it's against our beliefs, we shouldn't do it, it's against the rules, it wouldn't do any good anyway, etc. Inner resistance comes in many forms.

Many people drift through their lives on the path of least inner resistance. This can take the more obvious form of sitting on the couch, playing video games. Everything else seems too much effort. This might be a path of the least resistance, but it isn't going with the flow.

There are many situations where we block ourselves from chosing a good way for dealing with a situation because of inner resistance.

I, for example, had a really stressful time at work. A third party was upping the pressure on us, mobbing and confronting us, and one day I snapped and vented really badly on a coworker. The coworker is a respected colleague, we collaborate extremely well, and we get along well. I was ignoring all inner signals to stop and we got very loud and shouted at each other. I had taken all that stress in and now I let it out as an explosion on somebody who didn't deserve it at all.

I was sitting alone in my office, and I was ashamed and actually shocked by my own behavior. I realised I had done something stupid, but at first I couldn't get myself to apologize. Why can't it all go away? I felt cornered. I was full of inner resistance.

In the end I went over to my coworker, gave him a heartfelt apology, I really meant it. I assured him that it was my fault, that I had acted absolutely inappropriate and that I had no right to treat him like that, and do my best to not repeat that fault. After a short while he actually said that the third party is to blame, and we talked a bit about that. Our relationship did not take damage, which is great. We have kept the spirit of doing the work instead of passing blame, the respect is restored and I am very glad for having overcome the inner resistance that almost prevented me from doing so.

Going over there was going with the flow. It was the easiest and most appropriate solution, taking responsibility. It had the least consequences, and it was the one my pride would let me chose. But pride is a bad advisor. Very often it's better to chose acute discomfort when it can avoid longterm damage. It's like going to the dentist.

There is a catch, though. There is inner resistance and there is dread. Dread arises when we are faced with a choice that would harm us in the long run. It's a true warning sign. It's not easy to discern this, so one has to observe and consider the outcome.

Inner resistance of the kind of hurt pride, for example, is easy enough to spot if you're honest with yourself. When inner resistance is spotted and overcome, it almost sounds like a different voice even. It's trying to protect a false sense of self, a self that would be diminished by embarrassment or by being ashamed.

When you start walking the true path of least resistance, going with the flow, then you also listen to the silent urgings of your inner conscience. Overcoming resistance becomes easier, and the difference between resistance and dread becomes easier to spot. While it may really exert you for a short while you then may drop the burden instead of carrying it the whole way.

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