Ok, after a while I've finally made some progress! I didn't listen to a guided meditation, just listened to binaural beats. I feel like one of the things that has been stopping me was the guided meditation. I feel like I was treating my meditation like something that had to be done a certain way, but this time I just kind of did my own thing. Which was really nice.
For a stat I put my hands together on my heart, not down on my sides. Don't know why I did this but I did. I had heard about chakra cleaning and how that can help with astral projection so I did it my own way. While browsing this website I have always heard about Source. I don't exactly know what it is but I kind of tried to have a conversation with Source. I used this conversation to try and clean my chakras, which I think worked, at least a little. Quite quickly my hands and feet started to go all pulse-y, if that makes sense. I usually always get this for my hands but rarely my feet so I was happy when I felt it. I was still talking to Source in my head. Eventually, my hands went VERY numb, but at the same time it felt like they had moved. It felt like I was holding something. Before the meditation I had my hands on top of eachother, so I could feel my hands in my hands if that makes sense. But while meditating I couldn't feel them touching eachother but I had not moved them. It felt like they were holding something, I imagined it was an egg for some reason. My right hand was on top of the egg and my left hand was under.
Somewhere down the line I had stopped talking to Source and was just staring into the void of darkness that was my eyes closed. There was like a dark circle/oval thing in the middle of my eyesight. I heard a voice in my binureal beats, which it does not have, I forgot what it said exactly but it said something like "stop" and it just repeated it, it said a longer sentence once also with the word stop in the sentence. It was a woman's voice, I don't know if the voice means anything. The voice made me lose concentration and so the I couldn't focus on the dark circle/oval thing anymore, and I don't know what happened to it. Eventually I decided that I had enough for one night and turned it off and then started writing this post.
A problem I have is my eyes slowly starting to open when I don't want them too. My eye opened and I could blink but my hands were still very numb and felt like they were holding something. When my eyes opened I swear I saw some very blurry things swirling around in my roof. I don't believe this was sleep paralysis though because I felt like I could move at anytime. Anyway, this was tonight's experience and I'm so happy I've made progress! Sorry for the long post haha, I just had a lot to say! :p
EDIT: This entire meditation took place within the span of around 30 minutes, I think 36 or something to be exact. It felt longer though.
