Coincidences, or consciously/unconsciously hampering progress?
Just as a foreword, I should mention a couple things about my current situation. I technically live with my mother, as we both share a house, but the basement of our house was built separate, with its own kitchen and etc - so I pay my own rent for the entire basement of the house. This was the best living arrangement we could both afford as I had a child young (my son is turning 6 - I'm 24) and this allowed me to have access to a separate place of my own while still being in constant contact with my mother, who has graciously helped me out (physically) over the years while I go to college and etc. While I understand some people may not agree with our living arrangement, or have other "views" on what should have been done when I had a son so young, I would please ask those folks to not use this opportunity to insult me or the way I live my life currently. We can't all live in a perfect world where everything goes right 100% of the time.
That being said, HERE is the reason I'm posting: For the past four/five days or so every time I've set aside a time to practice astral project, or simply just waking up during the night and deciding to.... I've been physically INTERRUPTED by my family. Most of it has been by my mother, who in recent days (within the last month or so) has expressed interest in Astral Projection, acknowledged that it MIGHT be possible, and even going so far as attempting it herself but getting frustrated because the one technique she chose to try didn't work. I have concluded from this that, whether consciously or unconsciously, she has now come to the realization that what I'm experiencing is JUST DREAMS and that I am spending too much time on this venture (any amount of time spent on something that doesn't produce a physical product, or pay the bills, has been shown to aggravate her in the past). What bothers me about all this is that she makes off-hand comments about my mood, how much time I apparently spend "sleeping" (which has not been any more than usual - it just might seem that way to her because more attention is being placed on it than before), how I'm doing "that stuff" instead of, say, cleaning (again, not true), or anything else that would make practicing astral projection/lucid dreaming seem unfavorable or especially unproductive. When I confronted her about this she made it apparently clear that she DOESN'T think it's a "waste of time" or that she KNOWS how important it is to me "right now". I think she honestly believes that this is "a phase", something like an INTEREST I've recently discovered and decided to pour all of my time and energy into without concern for anything else. This is the way I believe she has come to see my practicing of astral projection and all related spiritual endeavors.
I know my mother only wants what's "best" for me, but the stuff she's been doing lately is confusing at best and heartbreaking at worst. If I make a point to tell her WHEN I'm practicing AP, and how I don't want to be disturbed, she makes a point of interrupting my practice. And, usually, it's at the worst possible time - like when I'm getting SO CLOSE to a wake-induced exit, or if im doing a sleep-induced AP (where I set a CHIME to semi-wake me, and try when in that state) she will wake me up moments before the chime goes off. Even if I play binaural beats to black out any noises I might hear, instead of knocking repeatedly on my door YELLING, she will decide to call me (I use my phone and headphones for binaural beats) which immediately wakes me up and scares the living crap out of me in the process (the call comes in at 100% volume and hurts my ears). Every time she interrupts me, it's over something frivolous or unimportant - something that COULDVE WAITED a half hour. She has also made a point of "coming to check on me" during the night, between 3 and 6 AM - when I'm most likely to be practicing, as my son wakes up at 7:30 for school during weekdays - for, again, things that could wait, or to talk about things that we've either already spoken about or that she just wants to complain about, etc. Before I started AP, she would NEVERTHELESS wake me up while I'm sleeping (unless there's an emergency, of course) and never came downstairs to "check on me" in the middle of the night. I can only conclude from this that she is doing this to forcefully stall my progress in astral projection and meditation.
Im assuming she is doing it unconsciously because whenever I talk to her about it she feels like I'm accusing her of something she's "not guilty of", or etc. However, whether it is unconscious or conscious, why would someone want to impede spiritual growth?
I've read somewhere (I can't remember where - sorry) that people will often do this if they feel they are being "spiritually surpassed" or lack something that they view the other person as gaining. I can't understand why my mother would possibly be "jealous" (according to what I read) or willing to stop me from achieving my goals, because they do not immediately produce something physical in return.
If if this is, however, true... Then how do I gently stop her from doing so? I've tried helping her with what I've been practicing but I myself am inexperienced and this is getting worse just after I really started to get a hang of it... And it truly isn't fair. But life rarely ever is.
Re: Coincidences, or consciously/unconsciously hampering progress?
Quote:
Just as a foreword, I should mention a couple things about my current situation. I technically live with my mother, as we both share a house, but the basement of our house was built separate, with its own kitchen and etc - so I pay my own rent for the entire basement of the house. This was the best living arrangement we could both afford as I had a child young (my son is turning 6 - I'm 24) and this allowed me to have access to a separate place of my own while still being in constant contact with my mother, who has graciously helped me out (physically) over the years while I go to college and etc. While I understand some people may not agree with our living arrangement, or have other "views" on what should have been done when I had a son so young, I would please ask those folks to not use this opportunity to insult me or the way I live my life currently. We can't all live in a perfect world where everything goes right 100% of the time.
Firstly I'm just going to point this this out :To be politically correct and technically accurate this makes her your landlady and your her tenant and your basement your own paid-for property.You wouldn't be remiss in being firm in keeping your own hours or how you keep them in your own place.
Secondly I don't have advice to add here but only an "angle" to share, I'm not sure how you feel about being sneaky , "Oh AP? that stuff doesn't work , I gave up on it , God! what a phase , you were right mom , what a waste of time" ;)
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She has also made a point of "coming to check on me" during the night, between 3 and 6 AM
it's amazing how she herself keeps herself awake int the very late hours of night to "check-up" on you (one would think you're selling drugs out of your basement not meditating judging from her response :shock:) but mothers can be very* tenacious , ignore her interruptions the first few times , till she finally gets it and it stops , and if she brings it up again or keeps at it , there are other angles too "I have a child to take care of , I have college work that needs getting done , I have rent to worry for , I wish I was a robot who could answer you at your beck and call but I'm not, I'll get all the work done that you need me to do but not when I'm resting , it's only natural I sleep and rest , Ok mom?.
Re: Coincidences, or consciously/unconsciously hampering progress?
Psychic shielding and warding of your space should afford you a little peace. Whether or not people intend to invade your privacy/space, they sometimes do, particularly in the case of parents.
(I had to build very specific shields against each of my parents, with their actual names on the permashields, because despite being on the opposite side of the planet, they kept invading my dreams and sometimes sneaking into my personal space when I was meditating or similar. They never did respect boundaries, so I had to forcibly create psychic ones to keep them away. And, yes, it did work.)
I also advise doing tie cutting rituals regularly. This does NOT end a relationship! It does cut lingering ties, but if you're in a relationship with someone, new ties will be created. Sometimes, this has the effect of allowing better and more positive ties to be created (because, face it, even the best of relationships have their weird, non-productive areas, and tie-cutting can help with this).
In your case, I think it could help if the shielding included some sort of "non sight" barrier, meaning, the shield (and protection set up by any wards you place) has the effect of cutting off the ability of anyone to sense your activities. This may occasionally backfire, as they see the lack of visibility as a danger sign (or they just resent being unable to spy on you), so be prepared with the tie-cutting and protection and so forth. But, in most cases, people will just take the "can't see you doing stuff" as "oh, good, you're behaving yourself". ;)
Re: Coincidences, or consciously/unconsciously hampering progress?
Enigma, I just want to add a bit from a mother's point of view and also from a daughter's point of view as I am both having brought up two children the oldest being 37.
I know this is a metaphysical website and not an agony aunt column but as I have no experience in the advice BW gave you( which must be worth trying) then I'm trying to see it from both sides.
Firstly why should any of us have any negative views on your living situation? You may not see it but you are so lucky to have what you have. ( okay yes I'm saying this as a mother's view) Help on hand. Company on hand. If your ill your parents to look after you living above. If your child is ill you have help. Many single parents do not live like this and do not have the support of their parents as you do. Also your landlady will probably never throw you out for non payment of rent.
So to end this little ' How Lucky Am I ' lecture it may be that your mother is loving having you around with her grandchild on tap so to speak. She still wants to mother you , to show an interest in your interests. Could it be that she is concerned about your future prospects and how you will support yourself and child in the future?
Now on to you.
Obviously what you lack is privacy.
I don't know how the structure is when it comes to basements . Do you have your own door.?
*** Could you put a bolt on and use this at night and during meditation? ( discreetly explaining the reason why)
***Could you switch off your mobile and use other device to listen to music?
***could you talk to others who live upstairs and get them on your side and ask them to keep your mum away at those times?
With me I used to be convinced my mother had a video camera secretly hidden and focusing on my front door. Every day rushing in from work dying for the loo and the phone would go. My mother! No news, just hello. I used to be wriggling trying to say goodbye.
Every Sunday her car would pull up at 12 after she had been to a car boot sale. I would run to get a duster and polish in my hand and continue to polish as she sat there trying to talk to me. I couldn't get the message through strongly enough. When she left I would feel more guilt than relief. How I wish the phone would ring again.
My son on a visit from uni has been known to send a text message from his phone whilst upstairs in bed to my phone downstairs in the kitchen asking me if I would like to start his breakfast now , he would be down in a minute and a full breakfast would be nice.
I wouldn't change anything.
All I'm saying is that it sounds it's very frustrating for you just now but one day you will look back and laugh.
I would give BW advice a try.
