From School to Cosmos

Several years ago, at a particularly rough stage of my life, I had a very strange dream.

I was in a normal residential house, sitting in a chair in a circle of seated people, all facing the center. There was a moderator of sorts asking questions of everyone. I used to remember the question... it was something like, "Who did Jesus betray?" or "Who betrayed Jesus?"

I don't remember my answer, but I remember that I gave my response as a bored student would give a rote, memorized answer that held no value to me whatsoever.

In that circle, I felt bored, frustrated, and more than a little angry. It was at that moment that I was helped up by someone, and I stood and went outside with them.

Together with this person, we went out into the night on the lawn of the house. I think this person gestured to the sky, where I saw nothing but darkness.

What happened next I'll never forget. I don't remember who raised their hand to the sky, me or this other person, but as soon as my or their arm swept the sky, the darkness cleared, and a beautiful, starry sky full of swirling galaxies, stars and the moon opened before me.

It was at this point that the dream immediately stopped being the "muddled movie projector" feeling that comes with 99% of the dreams I have, and I was suddenly able to think and feel as I would in real life.

I watched the sky in amazement for several seconds, when an orbiting satellite slowly glided down from the starry sky, right next to me. It came so close that I thought I could touch it... so I did.

The satellite, immediately upon touch, shot back into the sky, then disappeared.

The muddled movie projector slowly faded back in after that, and the experience degenerated into a weird collection of images and events that had little to do with anything. I remember bouncing balls or some such nonsense.

I felt that the dream symbolized my life as school, where I was exceedingly depressed and angry that I was stuck with such a bad hand at birth, and felt I was merely carrying out the motions of living.

Going outside was more difficult to interpret. It might have meant that "life may be extremely difficult and harsh, but eventually it will be over, and something beautiful will come of it." It might also have meant that "life may be extremely difficult and harsh, but it takes a simple thought and movement to realize the beauty behind it."

I've never had as crystal clear a dream since then that meant so much. There were other clear ones, which I'll get into another time, but this one was just too loaded with meaning to simply have been forgotten into the fog where other discarded dreams go.

Chris