I can never relax

I've tried to achieve a trance state countless times over the last 6-7 years or so,but I can just never relax.I've spent a lot of time using Roberts method of tensing and then releasing each body part but it never seems to make any difference.Even after doing a fairly intense exercise session I don't get that cosy warm feeling of relaxation like I used to in my teens.
I bought Journeys out of the body a couple of weeks ago and am having a nightmare even just trying to lie still for a whole hour.Does anyone know of any methods to try and work my way around this problem? It always takes me a long time to get to sleep as well for the same reason,I must be a super high stress kind of person.

Are you doing energy work at bedtime? If so, don't.

No,I've not got around to doing any energy work yet.I've always found it hard to relax all my life,although I'm a lot worse now than I ever was.
I'm in the middle of writing an email to a local hypnotist to see if she can help teach me how to reproduce this deep relaxed state,I wonder how effective that could be.

Going to sleep and doing trance work have something in common: you don't have to hold absolutely still. Move around and get more comfortable as often as you want. It is a limiting belief that moving will make you have to start over.

The hypnotist is a good idea.

Years ago it could take me hours to fall asleep. My mind and body were also very tense - so tense I usually did not even realise. I ground my teeth. These are indeed stress signals.

I personally blame these on several factors - emotional problems unreleased, but also a general sensitive nature that needed an extra effort to rid myself of what I felt was intruding into me from the outside world. And indeed, the idea of laying down for a while and holding still or trying to do nothing seemed terrifying.

Possible remedies are meditation, energy work and other stress-reducing measures. If you feel your body is tense, get for example massages.

Take good care,
Oliver

PS -

relaxation is not just a trainable skill in my opinion. That kind of relaxation can only be applied as deeply as the general condition of mind and body permits.

So, there's the skill of relaxation - as taught for example in progressive relaxation and so on. And there's your inherent capacity to how deeply apply this. This is determined by the general level of tension you hold in your mind and body.

The first skill is easily learned - some weeks tops for decent results. But tackling the latter can take months or years of persistent effort, but is rewarded with a dramatic increase in life quality all over the board.

Oliver