CF's dream diary

yeah, i think this is all about the balance of personal power, where fear promotes taking power v. love promotes giving power. gollum is that which from fear murderously seized power, yet in that became the greatest slave to it. this dwells in us all...to seize power from fear. like you said, by talking/questioning your fear dissapated.

even the symbiosis (sp?) of impersonal nature is all about the balance, where imbalance dwells it also pays in the food chain.

this would be your subconscious finding parity with your conscious perspective which apparently allows compromise for some from your oversight of understanding love. but then, a sort of impersonal authority would find that humorous seeing the personal human's loving response; and then with no thought to it pulling the lil buggers loose from you.

this is your supraconscious finding parity with your conscious perspective which apparently sees your allowances as a bit much.

so the whole of your consciousness is balancing in this dream.

the leach is the seeming drain of the world, and the snake is that which would release one from this drain that they'd be a living spring...the reverse.

i would count this mad little dream as a vision of your fullness of sight, being that consciousness which is operatively you as whole being.

this is why your lucidity was there/not there, because all of you was operative in the dream, with you, CFT, in the center of it.

Thank you guys, for making sense of it.

I had talked my hubby into going into my old minister's church.
We had a wonderful service, had our communion (that is, ate with other congregants) and were leaving, when we saw 'next door' (there is another building next to the church) there was a line, so we got curious and started walking in the line. There we saw some old friends (not IRL) and we went to say hi. They said they were going into their temple, and we decided to go take a look. There was some sort of parade, and at the end there were some men with knives which looked bloody. They were doing acrobatics and throwing them up and down. I thought I had read about this 'religion' (not IRL) in one of my classes long ago, and it was controversial. So now I was curious and worried. We were thinking of looking for the exit (I kept whispering to my husband what I thought was going on- cult activity with human sacrifice) when as we were trying to find the exit we were herded to one group, where the people we knew were- and then we were alarmed, because I thought they pointed us out at the people in charge (with the knives) as new recruits- so we entered this room, still looking for an exit we could run to- when we saw a pregnant woman tied up to a post with bare wire. She was crying to another woman that was standing next to her- and she was telling the other one that she had no choice but to do what she did (whatever that was- but I had the impression that it was to get pregnant)- and the other girl acted as if nothing bad was going on- she said "I'm sure you can convince them- it'll be all right." We kept looking for a way out, and at some point I received a 'rote' that the basis of this religion was to realize that life was fruitless, and you were logically supposed to kill yourself- and instead of killing herself, she had chosen to get pregnant, and she had to convince them that this was somehow in accordance to whatever their tenets were.
As I observed and made mental notes on what was going on, I was still trying to figure out how anyone got out of there alive, and I realize some of them did, and I wondered how. Then I woke up, still disturbed, and still interested in what was going on.
Even though I was horrified, I thought it was a puzzle- that is, I was supposed to figure out the solution. There was some sort of 'theater' going on.

Maybe I watched too much Lost.

Hello, CF.

Here some beliefs are played out against each other. On the one hand is a cult (a group holding fanatic beliefs) and they think life is "fruitless." On the other side is a woman opposing this belief with her very body - she's bearing "the fruit."

What is a fruitless life? Maybe the belief that life itself holds no higher purpose and therefore nothing is lost in dying. Your deeper dream self opposes this idea. But are you free of this idea?

In this sense your own family could be an attempt to eradicate this residual belief and find more joy in life in general. But still you are bound by this belief, the mother bound here being you.

On the plus side of your life you enjoy a wonderful service, and a feeling of (comm)union. This the positive side of your beliefs, here expressed as religious beliefs. But maybe sometimes you take interest in darker beliefs (you write you were curious) and even override your deeper judgement (your instinct to flee in the dream) and get caught up (bound by wire) in such beliefs which feel like dying. At least to me - a life without purpose feels really depressing to me.

There is indeed a religion of life with no purpose out there. Look at our society. But even as this prevalent implicit belief takes hold of many, some find a life of spirit nevertheless (you're wondering about them as you wonder how some get out alive). I wonder how many people find their higher aspirations killed by a belief in a "fruitless life." In my opinion it is a real risk.

This one seems to be in line with other dreams where you chose life over death, active resistance over passivity, and where you figure out what is going on behind the scenes. You question hidden motives. On the other hand a certain amount of distrust is also a topic.

The acrobatics and the parade could be the mental acrobatics and the arguments paraded out by people who spread this world view, a logic which they find (and also themselves as persons) cutting and sharp (the knives), but which does a lot of harm (and that's why the knives are bloody - the consequence).

Be well,
Oliver

Wow. You are right on the money.
I'm speechless.

A pleasure. :D

Oliver

So I go to the movies, and the movie is a computerized cartoonlike movie (you know, those CG movies) and there is a scene of Goku going Super Sayin something-or other (the one with the big pointy-fire yellow hair) and I notice that the background is the street in the house I grew up in. Then I'm transported to my old house, and I'm talking to 'people' that are there and they're telling me that a bunch of japanese people went to my neighborhood and filmed the environment and stayed in my house as they were doing the filming.
Then I tell the people at the movie about this being my house and how the road in which Goku is going crazy is the road I could look at from my kitchen window (it's the same view, as if they had filmed from the kitchen window in my old house). Then I was 'there' and I was talking to my mom, and later I was talking to my dad and we talked about how they were both dead but because of the different times of their passing how they had not yet crossed paths.
Then the vista changed to the backyard of said house, and the whole (fenced and walled) backyard was filled with pythons, and for some reason I was afraid to be bitten, so I moved outside of the gate and started walking to the side yard towards the front, and I found a giant anaconda in front of me- I was surrounded. This woke me up immediately.

I am normally not afraid of snakes and know these are not venomous, but in the dream I was avoiding them with fear of being bitten. Also IRL I couldn't tell a python from a boa from an anaconda, but in the dream I could. *shrug*.

So, a lot of snakes lately...

Do you ever call in your Higher Self in a lucid dream? Or do you ever ask dream characters what they represent? Once I had a dream (in which I became lucid) that a cop was chasing me. Once lucid, I turned around and asked the cop what part of me he was (I suppose a leading question). He answered, "The part of you that hates yourself."

Maybe try asking the snakes directly why they're there. Or, if you don't want to do that, ask your Higher Self why they're there.

I know that can be difficult to coordinate, but maybe it would be worth it.

I'd like to, but at the time I was not lucid. There was this "otherwhere" lucidity, in that I was glad to see my mom and my dad in the other side, but not lucid enough to know I was dreaming and trying to analyze it. I have done just that in the past (asking dream characters what part of me they are) but this time my focus was elsewhere.

Maybe you can incubate a dream, though, in which you ask your Higher Self about these past dreams. Or, you can try to suggest to yourself that next time you're lucid in a dream, you'll ask to see the snakes again and try to talk to them. (Bring a mongoose just in case).

Usually if I try something like this, the information I get is cryptic, but sheds some light. For example, my first attempt with asking a dream question was when I very worried about my health. I wrote my question out on a 3x5 card and put it under my pillow for a week. I asked myself the question over and over as I went to sleep. About a week later I had a vivid, non-lucid dream in which I was alone in a cathedral. A statue of an angel sprang to life, turning toward me and offering me a cup. It was so startling that it woke me up. I understood this as the response to my worried question. The angel inviting me to drink seemed to say "The power of life is yours; you're going to be fine." ...I don't know how to explain exactly why I felt like that dream was the answer, but when it came, I was satisfied.