GRATITUDE LIST

-creative expression and having a lot of it lately
-deep cleansing breaths
-going to the psychiatrist today
-chlorophyll
-T kitten and how cute he is and how much he makes me laugh
-smiling
-water
-my hazelnut latte i got today
-my style
-fashion
-losing weight and becoming thinner with ease and seeing my body transform to a more likeable ideal
-my curves
-my lower back and venus dimples
-my outdoor cats
-expressing myself and telling my story.
-doing a lot of reading today and getting a good amount out of my current book
-pictures
-going another day without soda with ease and how helpful lacroix is for me with that. i can feel my body detox-ing with ease naturally and it's wonderful.
-my black and white poncho
-being attractive
-my beauty
-emotions and feeling my feelings
-my prada candy perfume
-makeup
-taking a nice warm shower earlier then usual tonight
-sleep
-my bed
-blankets
-getting caught up on a lot of emails
-facebook messages with others
-my eyebrows
-seeing my stomach flatten out and how gratifying it is to heal that problem
-stretches
-cosy clothing
-great art
-an agency seeming really eager to book me for a job without auditioning and the possibility of that happening now
-the recent job confirmations and offers still circulating around
-compassion
-inspiration and inspiring people
-music
-being able to feel
-the internet
-my hair barrette
-feeling my body getting stronger
-feeling like my eyesight has improved a little bit
-reinvention

-confirming a job for primary career. haven't done a job like this in years and i think it'll be good with my plans i have.
-agency from winter who gave me a lot of work giving me a ton of jobs for april and how nice it'll be that from im going to be very busy with paid stuff until may
-T kitten
-compassion for self
-finishing my book letting go of shame that i had been reading.
-a wonderful,affirming serendipity today! I went out to back porch and seen a tiger striped cat that i was sure wasn't dad cat,as this cat was definitely smaller and then i noticed also much less afraid. I got excited thinking was this S kitten(she looks just like dad cat). It was a cat that had some white on him,and he was a boy so it wasn't S kitten. I think he was a stray since he meowed at me,and even let me pet him. But,to me this experience happened for me. As a sign that S kitten will be back. I've had many things like this happen before,where a similar or more minor version will happen and then shortly after the ACTUAL thing will manifest. It just kind of felt sign-like as well. The cat didn't even stay long,he ate a bit of the food i put out for him,and then went on his way. Shortly after,i was on instagram and seen a photo of someone with a logo outfit saying "womb mates." That's the nickname I used to give T kitten and S kitten...Maybe that part was me thinking too much into things,but even still,so interesting life is. I also think the cat coming was an experience echoing what a friend had said in messages to me the other day...that there will be times when you will be there for others,and times when others will be there for you..when she had said that it felt profound and seeing the cat today got me thinking of how naturally,i fed the cat and pet it and was going to find a way to offer it some warmth and started thinking ok,how will we help this kitty...and someone could've very likely had done and is doing the same when they seen S kitten...i found myself getting very excited almost like..electrified about the possibilities.
-sweaters
-being appreciated
-feeling wanted.
-pindi chana kitchens of india food. this flavor has the perfect amount of spice i like and is so good. i had it with some slices of french bread.
-having an amazing realization..unfolding of hmm,maybe THIS is why THAT happened before bed last night..So,I had always said i don't think i need an anti-depressant. I even got mad and didn't know why at something someone had said thinking i need something for my intrusive thoughts and feeling jealous they got something i thought was something i heard was good for that. I threw away the new med i was supposed to be trying and so was on NO antidepressant. The other day,i had noticed gosh,my intrusive thoughts have been much worse. I also acknowledged I have an eating disorder. The psychiatrist looked as if he was laughing at me as I was trying to tell him what i wrote in my notes(before this realization). So,maybe he was seeing something i hadn't yet? Just before bed,it clicked in me..my intrusive thoughts got worse...after I threw out what was supposed to be my antidepressant...I got mad because I wanted to be on anti-depressant for OCD. I had been resistant that being on an antidepressant was something i needed. Well,i realized,for me,it IS something I need...not for depression but FOR my intrusive thoughts..it HAD been helping my OCD. So,I finally realized an antidepressant is for me,and for what i believe is "intrusive thoughts." Ever since this realization I cannot WAIT to pick up my rx. My mind has been out of control and i didnt know why. He also switched my rx when i told him what i said to what i think is a good one for intrusive thoughts,though at this point the main theme for me i do need to be on antidepressant,i do need that extra help,but for the intrusive thoughts aspect of it. I had gone of for months saying depression can be healed naturally,blah,blah,blah not thinking i really needed an antidepressant until i finally understood that's what is prescribed for OCD. I think part of me since therapy had been obsessed with labels and trying to self heal myself since i don't trust doctors. even that's part of my control freak side..
-listening to some root chakras and thetas music playlist
-music
-art
-creativity
-fun
-creative expression and expressing myself
-becoming more confident
-yoga stretches
-cleaning the litter box
-cleaning out my beauty products drawer
-how much it's easier it's become to manifest paying jobs with ease
-all the job offers that have been coming in and getting better at allowing it in
-relaxation
-sweet soda
-craving soda less now that i've been on my new plan of naturally detoxing and cutting back on it
-la croix
-emojis
-pictures
-posting some new pictures of mine online
-curation
-twitter
-instagram
-newness and reinvention
-sending more emails out
-reassuring myself with all the mind-wandering that keeps popping up
-laughing at life
-beauty
-my eyes
-my eyebrows
-being smart
-how great my stomach is becoming
-candy
-cuteness
-my phone
-coffee
-my uniqueness
-my taste in things
-my goals and desires
-learning
-reflection
-TV episodes online
-style
-ideas
-kindness
-my beauty
-having a nice body

-deep cleansing breathes
-stretching
-water
-art
-creativity
-inspiration
-style
-meditating today
-french fries
-finding out by checking my account,that M had transferred some money in it yesterday
-all the job's ive been confirming
-prayer
-realizing it's probably the meds that is why i've felt like crap the last few days. And,learning I do need to be on antidepressant for my OCD.
-the internet
-coffee
-so many lately wanting to accomodate me and meet closer to me and even give me a ride when i have to meet up
-my goals and desires
-laughing
-pinterest
-facebook
-myspace
-twitter
-instagram
-newness
-reinvention
-fashion
-weather being unexpectedly warmer then i thought and a lot of snow melting
-enjoying an savoring the night air for a couple minutes
-my body losing weight

still feel like there's a dark cloud over me and my body has felt weak and sore and my head feels so heavy.i think ive had like 2 mini panic attacks in my sleep and once in the car on my way home. I really do need to listen the doctors a little more. Both times i tried to get off a different type med or take extra,it was always a bad mistake. im' just taking it easy the next few days and being easy on myself.
-yoga
-doing my job today
-being easy on myself. Had another bdd episode that to me,to be able to work through it is hard. I think it plays a key part in why I didn't do more,sometimes. Intrusive thoughts are such an energy sucker. I used to take showers like 5 times a day sometimes just because my energy lowered and now it's more naps. At least now I know what my main issue is.
-T kitten for making me laugh
-person i worked with bringing us some water which is great because then i was able to take my pills which quieted things a little and took my headache away.
-coffee
-fashion and style. i've been so fashion obsessed lately.
-seeing how much H kitten has opened up. He still gets very nervous and doesn' like to be picked up but he walks right in the house sometimes,lets me rub his stomach,and walks me to the door to show me he wants back out now.
-hearing news that another person,a neighbor 4 houses down saying she's seen our outdoor cats and that they come in her yard sometimes and she feeds them,too.
-my cheetah print cardigan
-finding new inspirations
-reinvention
-makeup
-another day without soda.
-heels
-meeting my goals and manifesting my desires.
-scalp message
-ordering myelf a teddy bear hairbrush that was super cute
-partner at job today picking up the kit and dropping it off which saved me a trip
-how nice it felt to sit outside a for a couple minutes and enjoy the nightskies
-water
-la croix

been taking it easy since i havent been feeling so good. My head has felt heavy,my body week and my mind just so overwhelmed from the intrusive thoughts. I feel very stressed by it and like there is a dark cloud over me. I'm never throwing out my antidepressants again.
-entertainment
-beauty
-going to whole foods today
-winning and getting what i want
-unique beauty
-scalp massage
-going to look for s kitten today and posting more flyers
-yoga
-creative expression
-my phone
-pictures
-nightskies
-sweaters
-T kitten and how cute he is and how he always makes me laugh
-listening to the sound of water
-hot guys
-eye stretches
-feeling more and more rerooted back to myself
-getting a dentist appointment
-gong outside last night and seeing T kitten sleeping with mom cat. So adorable and love to see her bonding with them,especially since she is always wacking all her children.
-newness and positive changes
-all the upcoming jobs,meetings,etc
-deep cleansing breaths
-chlorophyll
-gin gins
-my beauty products
-that i almost can finally get the face cream i've had on mind for awhile now
-being smart
-being creative
-pinterest
-oneness
-starting to find cola kind of gross tasting now
-quiet
-W cat letting me hold. He is such a cuddle bug
-waking up early today
-having nice eyes
-being able to see
-having nice hair
-being able to work in the industries i do
-colors
-laughing
-talent
-freedom
-one of my exes agreeing to see me.
-coffee
-water
-culture
-my goals and desires

I cannot even believe i used to feel like this on a regular basis. My intrusive thoughts have been out of control. I ended up not going to my class the other day and today pretty much stayed in bed all day and slept a lot. It just sucks the life out of me and i feel like i want to lay low until it's over.The good thing is i got off one of my meds that i feared going off of because i thought i needed it to sleep,and ive managed to sleep fine,maybe even better as i'm dreaming a lot less(thank god) and waking up without as much of a struggle. I also just feel a little more like me again,so i think it's good i stay off this med,it's just a matter of getting the anti depressant right as so far the paxil isn't doing anything for me but making me depressed. im just unbelievably stressed.
-sleep and sleeping fine without the quetiapine
-sweaters
-orange juice
-coffee
-going to my dentist appointment today
-finding out my insurance does cover the surgery i need
-still meeting my cut down on soda goals. didnt drink any today and felt fine. however,la croix nicola flavor is not so good so i wont be getting that one again
-la croix
-cats. T kitten sleeping with me.We have such a strong bond. H cat sleeping with us too for part of the time. Technically H cat is still a kitten too. He is from the 2nd litter.
-blankets
-yoga.i did ten minutes before starting this and it did help me a little bit to calm my mind
-ex A and i speaking to each other again.
-self compassion
-art
-humor
-creativity
-all the money to be coming in soon
-breaks
-the internet
-cool people
-inspiration

gratitude enhances the freedom you already have

Gratitude is the source of abundant abundance - spiritually rich enhancement

I made a oath to god that I will practice gratitude for the rest of my life

managed to lift myself out of the dark funk i was in a little bit.
-sunshine
-deciding to go to work today if for no other reason to help me get out of my funk and get back to myself a little
-the weather being warmer then i expected today.
-T kitten and how much he loves me
-all the cats that come to our yard and have made it their home.
-chlorophyll
-M buying me a brownie the other day from starbucks
-the new mouthwash i've been using which is supposed to help dry mouth
-deciding that i really dont want or need to be on an antipsychotic after being off it for the last few days and still being able to sleep.
-pants getting looser on me
-my job i have coming up this weekend
-blankets
-sweaters
-rest
-compassion for self
-yoga
-TV episodes online
-deep cleansing breaths
-sitting with myself for a little bit and sorting out my intrusive thoughts which was what really helped lift my mood
-kind people
-nightskies
-my beauty products
-dreaming less ever since stopping quetiapine. so nice.
-manifesting my desires
-seeing G at yoga studio. was very weird since i hadnt seen him in months.i was completely over him though at this point and didnt feel anything about it
-getting a ride to work
-seeing the joy/amusement in life.i had to go to laundromat because washing machine is broke and the laundromat was always one of those weird ones that stood out,and going in i couldn't help but be amused.i felt like i was in another country. the whole setup was so bright and colorful it reminded me of being in japan or tokyo. it was very interesting.
-becoming more confident and competant
-uber
-nonconformity
-my new teddy bear hairbrush

funny how i start to get myself out of my funk just a little bit,and someone starts giving me ---- That threw me off all last night and today. on top of that,just minutes ago,i found out breaking news that is huge that i know ex's parents arent going to be happy about,at all. seeing what i seen made me feel a weird mix of smug amusement and sad for my ex. apparently...his gf is pregnant. i can just imagine him freaking out right now. I warned him so much about how she is. hopefully it is wrong or a false alarm,i guess.
-sleep. it's all i've wanted to do all week. I've slept like 20 hours a day some days,it feels like.
-my new hair color
-doing a job for primary career and how good that feels in some ways,though in other ways i feel too old for it,not in looks but in years that have passed on since the last time i did a job like that.
-making it to work on time today,even though i woke up super late and almost was late,i ended up perfectly on time.
-having model looks
-compliments
-T kitten and how happy he makes me
-bringing T kitten in even for only 5 minutes today which helped me feel a lot better
-creativity
-love
-self reassurance with my ocd thoughts
-all the walking i did the past days. good natural exercise.
-kind people
-cucumber water. seems to be a theme with hair jobs lately. i've grown to like the taste,though i don't like cucumbers.
-my heart's desires and goals
-getting the vouchers printed tonight
-that it's spring time
-that T kitten has been wanting to spend more time outside anyways
-beauty in life
-pronoia

-seeing the good in the bad
-sleep
-feeling slightly more normal today
-bringing T kitten in room even just for a little bit and how good that feels
-being smart
-seeing the universe bend to what i want and what i am going through via the law of attraction and how interesting it is. for example,seeing someone i know mentioning raising an outdoor cat they adopted from a shelter
-being done with the job i started last saturday
-how good it feels to do those jobs again from primary career
-having new hair
-being appreciated
-the goody bag i got filled with so many hair products
-stretches
-art
-style
-design
-creativity
-T kitten sitting on my lap on the porch earlier
-seeing my unique features becoming more mainstream and accepted.
-seeing old mental blocks being gone now
-having a large chest. im in shock when i see pictures of myself
-clients liking my look
-twitter
-the hummus on the last day of my last job
-putting a litter box outside for T kitten
-going looking for S kitten today
-seeing ANOTHER tiger striped kitten that looked like it'd be about S kitten's size run out of the yard and W cat following the kitten which was odd. Idk if it was the same tiger striped cat from a week ago or what but it definitely seemed like signs.
-nightskies
-feeling T kitten was nice and warm when he came up to me one of the times yesterday. I think he was in one of the shelters that the shelter gave us that we had inside the scaffold shelter
-seeing some materials available to purchase to leaflet about a cause i am passionate about,including something in spanish which is perfect so i ordered it.
-realizing before i didn't use to feel like i give enough and now these days i do feel like my giving side is more balanced which is nice

-chlorophyll
-coffee
-popsicles
-water
-some cuddle time with T kitten
-all the funny things T kitten does that makes me laugh and that all the cats do
-dental floss
-clorox wipes
-nightskies
-reflection
-catching up on emails and calls a little bit
-creativity
-positive possibilties
-remembering bliss
-fashion
-art
-working in a creative industry
-the fields i work in
-cuteness
-beauty
-inspiration
-smiling
-stomach getting flatter
-deep cleansing breaths
-meds to take when i feel my moods waning
-yoga stretches
-deep cleansing breaths
-gently allowing wellbeing and positivity back in
-the cat houses outside
-the weather getting nicer
-talent
-orange flavorings
-happy memories
-having lived a lot of cool experiences
-my heart chakra spray

slept all day and missed everything i had to do today.

-chlorophyll
-having one of those moments where i realized i need to make more decisions. something last night just triggered me to ask myself what decisions have i made lately.
-having a strange feeling of almost bliss this morning when everything went wrong,feeling memories of things manifested that i desired and presence for things that made me happy,and that even if certain things happened like losing my job at the yoga studio,everything would be ok,and feeling an enjoyment of quiet and possibility. it's made me realize i really need to embrace quiet more and getaway and do some kind of retreat or break.
-having a kind heart
-compassion for self
-sleep
-talent
-art
-creativity
-goals
-entertainment
-my weight going down naturally.
-sweaters
-T kitten
-my outdoor cats
-positivity
-having pizza without cheese and fries for dinner
-my beauty products
-doing a no soda day with ease yesterday. didn't even have lacroix
-orange flavorings
-sweet soda i had today
-the cat houses outside being warm for my cats
-the happy possibilties of summer
-hope
-yoga pants
-whenever i see T kitten happy and playing
-ideas

-getting a little lifted out of my depressive funk
-getting that time of the month
-healthy digestion
-midol
-fashion
-being done with out of the house jobs for a few days
-sweaters
-the internet
-sweet soda
-naps
-seeing P kitten after getting worried from not seeing her yet today or last night
-makeup
-music
-silence seeming to be broken between me and M,though she did say things to me twice in the last week
-deep cleansing breaths
-intense wanderlust especially towards being in southern california
-happy thoughts and my mind wandering towards happy daydreams a few times the last few days
-water
-that it's springtime
-positive inner knowings
-sunshine
-warmer weather
-seeing T kitten doing well and being happy
-stretches
-getting the 2nd drawer cleaned and organized after meaning to do it for like two weeks
-sleeping less today
-relaxation
-my hair
-M getting me a brownie from starbucks
-getting more comfortable exploring life
-hearing crime in my city has been down for the last two months
-uber
-inspiration
-T cat's ears starting to look better
-seeing W cat and E cat sitting together on the neighbor's porch chair. those two are like soulmates.
-creativity
-art
-being able to create
-seeing a lot of signs s kitten will be returning
-money coming in
-fun
-remembering fun
-greenery

-self compassion
-self appreciation
-newness
-positive transformation
-inspiratons
-doing some writing down of my goals,to do-list and wants
-attempting to make calls i needed to get done
-orange flavorings
-confiding
-getting a check in the mail. the first check since january. geez.
-buying the moisturizer i've been wanting to buy for awhile now
-buying the ysl lipstick i've had my eye on and seeing they offer complimentary custom engraving
-entertainment
-inderal
-art
-creativity
-music
-T kitten
-my outdoor cats
-getting another two flyers for T and S out
-sweaters
-fashion
-laying down
-stretches
-connection
-comfort
-nice weather
-H kitten being so cuddly and affectionate these days
-laughter and humor

been feeling really burned out lately,i realized. today,i lifted myself more and have been feeling more decisive including deciding it's time to leave the yoga studio.
-following creative hunches lately and making decisions. i have had a hunch a few times that the scaffold in yard should be tore down and sure enough today,when tearing it apart,and cleaning it,i seen worms under some of the wet fabrics in there. ugh. i've been having dreams lately about the yoga studio and feeling like it's time to go,and today i finally decided i will. it may be in two weeks,it may be in two months,but the decision is made. i think i was a little sad about it at first.
-waking up a little earlier today
-getting caught up on phone calls today. thank god. been a big subconscious stressor.
-squats
-getting a referral for a gum surgeon from my insurance
-mischief
-having healthy teeth
-whole foods orangeade
-doing a no soda day today
-putting money in my savings and having a new short term savings goal. i've come to realize it's mood boosting putting money aside and having savings goals.
-having self appreciation for my body as is,even with flaws. felt strange yet authentic.
-my style
-sweaters
-newness
-deep cleansing breaths
-nice weather today
-sunshine
-spending more time outside
-having more time to bring T kitten inside
-having nice eyes
-feeling excited about the possibilities i can manifest via the law of attraction
-my stomach looking flat
-my body getting a little stronger again as i start exercising more again
-reflection
-quiet
-finding out R does have a gf and so that must be why he didn't really respond much when i sent him that message a few months back
-coffee
-that i think i actually have a new fashion writer for my business which is super exciting
-the art of allowing
-music
-art
-beauty
-having a nice nourishing meal.i made myself chickpeas curry and bread with himalyan pink salt ghee. was so good to eat something nourishing since i've been eating not so great lately.
-positive changes and transformation
-positive self talk
-connection
-intrigue
-my phone
-updating my linkedin
-clorox wipes
-finding my favorite american apparel ruffled socks that had been missing for a few months

-M's husband bringing in T kitten in my room yesterday morning
-spending a lot of time cuddling with T kitten yesterday
-pictures
-getting my ysl lipstick in the mail today
-cuteness
-style
-telling my boss my decision on being done with yoga studio and it going well
-my boss suggesting we add each to ig and inviting me to a women's creativity gathering she is hosting later in the month
-self compassion
-sunshine
-TV episodes online
-meds that calm me down and boost my mood
-deep cleansing breaths
-sleep
-having a fashion writer now
-having a fashion article done now for my business which is the first one since my partner left the project
-colors
-being able to see
-being attractive
-getting more work done on an article i'm working on
-water
-getting a journaling session done and how great that felt
-music
-my job at the yoga studio
-smiling and laughing at life. amusement
-pink frosting
-attractive guys
-that the weather is supposed to be nice this weekend
-uber
-feeling like my eyesight may have gotten better in the last months.i just realized i've had the compulsion to put my eyeglasses on a lot less often.
-relaxation
-doing a little reading today
-inspiration
-positive changes

-orangeade vitamin water drink
-making a little more effort with my job today
-making a little more effort with life
-waking up early
-coffee
-getting a month of prescriptions to last me until my next doctor's appointment at the new place i'm going to try
-my style
-getting my moisturizer i've been wanting in the mail
-spending time with T kitten
-petting cats
-TV episodes online
-sweet soda
-trying to drink more water today
-stretches
-weird little experiences of meeting a girl on uber who had gone through recent breakup and the uber driver who had written a book on heartbreak who gave us her card and the girl wanting to exchange numbers with me.i honestly feel like i have weird experiences like this all the time.i had a feeling the day would be weird early in the day,too.
-sunshine
-nice weather today
-weight going down
-organizing,cleaning,decluttering
-coffee meeting going well yesterday
-the mango smoothie i got yesterday
-the person at coffee meeting also having a missing cat experience with her grandmother's cat and she also had contacted a pet psychic. things like this happen to me all the time.
-deciding to do a little studying for next online computer course tonight
-contacting a few people socially in my phone today
-inspiration
-my prada candy perfume
-another uber fare package i was able to buy for lower then the last price which starts right after my last one ends so perfect timing. now i can uber around worry-free for the next month.
-laughing
-the internet
-the little gray marble print hats i got to match T kitten's fur and putting one on him today again to see how it looks.
-nonconformity
-entertainment
-ab exercises
-makeup artist confirming today for upcoming job
-listening to some root chakra music and theta musics playlist the other day
-colors
-buying some iron vitamins today after remembering that used to be a little help for giving me energy
-friendly people
-goals
-eyes
-seeing H kitten running up to me lately. it's so cute.
-deep cleansing breaths
-newness
-beauty
-mango lacroix
-connection
-learning
-healing

-beautiful weather today
-sunshine
-nightskies
-deciding to meditate on the front porch at night tonight. i feel safer then i have there in a long time,if ever,which shows overcoming a lot of limiting beliefs about safety. i just let the night skies work on my pineal gland and enjoyed a nice casual meditation session
-not taking inderal today. weaning off that. it makes me too tired at the least. i felt more real today. it took a bit to wake myself up but once i did i could handle my anxieties and keep myself up while at my job
-TV episodes online
-fashion
-my leopard print cardigan
-having a good dream. this rarely ever happens.i was interviewing at a p.r firm and viewing all the offices. we all were supposed to test out each office to see how we liked it there. the dream kept having me go up higher and higher to each office.
-cats
-naps
-sweet soda
-getting a new phone today after phone cracked last night from dropping it very lightly.
-deep cleansing breaths
-friendly people
-allowing myself to have pretty things such as my teddy bear hairbrush,ysl lipstick,prada perfume,etc,etc
-nice design
-intrigue
-having some doritos today
-salt
-making a little effort with my job today and the difference that made. it's been hard with how i've been feeling,weak and apathetic.
-pictures
-colors
-being able to see
-flowers
-chlorophyll
-water
-stretches
-ab exercises
-creative concepts
-art
-the internet
-not having to work tomorrow
-coffee and my out coffee tasting better today
-wearing flip flops today for the first day of the season,and of the year
-feeling like my next travel i have to do is california
-dry mouth mouthwash.i actually find this works well
-california
-remembering the magic of the law of attraction and manifestation of desires
-massage
-relaxation
-pinterest
-emojis
-soothing self talk
-laughing
-my eye color
-helping others
-being smart
-physical exercise

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Wanted to let you know that I replied to your thread on the "Out Of Topic" section :-)
Have a magical day! or- better yet- fill it with the magic of gratitude yourself...

-being more productive and waking up earlier today. what a mood boost that is.
-hummus
-lemonade
-doing a no soda day today and feeling ready for 3 days a week of it.
-la croix
-laying down
-insurance saying they will preauthorize the gum surgery i need for an out of network provider for me. :)
-the magic of life. i'm trying to feel more connected to it.
-T kitten trying to climb up me this morning when i went out to see him. so cute.
-patience
-coffee
-the interesting selections at the grocery store today,the random ethnic varieties of things they had.
-being able to read
-drinking more water today
-TV episodes online
-playing with "i believe" my favorite affirmation.
-backbends and how strong they make me feel.
-a meetup i might go to this week since it's right after work and near it
-seeing a workshop that seemed interesting that i might go to this month and that it's free
-beauty
-the uber fare package i bought for the month. so nice.
-my new phone
-having an antidepressant i'm on now and feeling like it's helping me to maintain some stability/calm in my mind
-blankets
-nice weather today. it felt so lucid.
-having an exciting,positive knowing feeling last night of feeling like certain areas of life that felt blocked feeling ready to be opened
-the solar plexus/theta musics playlist i'm listening to
-the creative hunch i had for upcoming job to use a fake flower for a prop instead of real,that it actually fits my concept way more...and also will happen to be a lot cheaper too which is nice.
-style
-great design
-calmness
-my body feeling a little stronger from using it a little more
-yoga
-my eyesight
-getting more studying done for computer skill learning course i am on
-deep cleansing breaths
-headphones
-getting table in my room cleaned off and organized
-having a kind heart
-having strong,healthy teeth
-colorful,fun things
-having nice lips
-colors
-creativity
-fashion
-ideas
-twitter
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses case
-instagram
-being able to wear flip flops and letting my feet relax
-realness
-kind people
-my outdoor cats
-creative ideas and creative hunches
-my beauty
-more jobs i was able to apply to today
-patterns
-touch
-being smart

been feeling a lot of heart chakra pain and frustration lately along with apathy. i think i need to just go out socially.
-sleep
-rest
-ibuprofen
-music
-doing my dishes
-fashion
-pictures
-pinterest
-music
-feeling so creative lately
-my outdoor cats
-being able to see
-softening my perspectives
-healing
-that it's springtime
-doing more studying today
-making a to do list before bed last night
-cleaning my bed and room
-watching TV episodes online
-physical exercise
-starting to feel slight short bursts of excitement lately about life,it's possibilities,and past happy things.i think i'm in a realization phase.
-feeling more like myself since being off antipsychotics. i never want to be on one again.
-getting out of the house for a bit today to pick up prop i needed for upcoming project im doing
-laughing
-looking like a model
-self compassion
-relaxation
-sweet soda
-ashwagandha
-hot guys
-prints
-cuteness
-my sense of style
-those that have appreciated me
-unique beauty
-seeing the law of attraction at work
-compassion
-my vibration rising a little bit lately
-deep cleansing breaths
-having things i want to do
-opportunities
-hip openers
-my body feeling better since exercising more again
-beauty

-relaxing music
-chlorophyll
-ashwagandha
-my body feeling stronger
-feeling more attractive
-sitting outside for a couple minutes a few minutes ago and how amazing it felt. i felt that inner excitement again.
-nightskies
-inspiration
-twitter
-deep cleansing breaths
-dry mouth mouthwash
-my idea i had to get a refill for the antidepressant that i want without going to the doctor since i dont want to wait a month to be on it
-the word believe
-self appreciation
-positive inner knowings
-seeing my outdoor cats play
-nice weather
-my sparkly avant-garde looking zara sweater
-creativity
-being smart
-booking TWO upcoming travels
-cleaning my room
-doing my dishes
-M's husband giving me $20
-getting all caught up on emails
-watching some TV episodes online
-mustard. so random yet so tasty.
-getting the next certificate i've been studying for the last few days
-M's friend D texting me. It was a very sweet text.
-yoga
-physical exercise
-entertainment
-talking to my mom on the phone tonight
-getting an appointment for a dental cleaning done
-trying to keep my thoughts positive and aligned with what i want
-happy memories and reflecting
-the internet
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-a friend texting me an invite to something
-feeling more like myself again
-being off antipsychotics
-finding norpramin in my drawer and taking that today since i cant keep taking remeron. i know i'm not supposed to be doing the med situation like this but for now i have to.
-the camera quality in my phone being higher
-thinking i looked cute in some pics i took of myself today
-getting excited about work,and being social and life in general again.i feel like this way blocked while on antipsychotics. everything just felt whatever.i also feel less "odd."
-smiling
-my child-like side
-seeing a new black cat with white on it coming to the yard. he is friendly and looks well kept so i am guessing he has a house family. now that i think of it,it mostly seems like my outdoor cats only ever have problems with cats that are other ferals.
-seeing W cat and dad cat sitting on neighbors porch chair today. so cute.

feeling crabby but then i realized,i only took 1/5 of one of the med's im using to keep stable until my ssri comes in,i'm on a no soda day,didn't sleep a full sleep,frustrated by how low my bank account is and my checks not coming,M has been being a jerk to me,it's understandable i feel a little crabby. i seen G again today at work. i've been seeing him more again lately,looking more and more cozy with my boss each time which is all odd considering i'm almost done working there. it just all sort of feels like a story playing out and at this point i'm in sort of detach and observe mode waiting to see how it's all going to play out like i'm watching a movie and wanting to see how it's all going to end. the way it's playing out at this point,i literally feel like it's meant to tug at my attention,meant to show me the storybook nature of it all. it's just all really weird. makes me think of robert hopcke's book there are no accidents,one of the books that is a favorite of mine and a pivotal read for me. also,i feel like i'm becoming a hipster.

-accomplishing my goal on my to-do list of getting the online certificate i had been studying for.
-accomplishing my goal on my to do list of going to the meetup today. it was awful. everyone was older then me and 9-5 er types i could just not relate to but they were all nice and seemed super interested in me. at least i was social and usually when i do something like this after a miss,i end up getting a hit the next time around doing something like this.
-the pretzels and spiced carrots hummus dish i ordered today. the pretzels were amazing.
-the kentucky mule i ordered. this was really good.
-uber flat fare package pricing. gosh,i love this so much. it's created so much more calm and ease in my life.
-M being nicer to me this morning for some reason.
-heels
-amazing weather today. was so nice out.
-G from the yoga studio complimenting my hair today. he's like the only person since it's been colored who's commented on it.
-my phone and how high quality the camera is on it.
-vsco
-twitter
-facebook
-instagram
-catching up on some reading today
-being almost done with current article im working on
-water
-ashwagandha
-prada candy perfume
-sweaters
-leggings
-fashion
-being stylish
-being pretty and attractive
-having nice curves
-appreciating myself more on the new higher quality camera my phone has now
-my job tommorow
-makeup
-doing some journaling today
-kind-heartedness
-work people i communicated with in last 24 hours being helpful/working with me on things i brought up
-deep cleansing breaths
-my job at the yoga studio
-my boss at the yoga studio. going to my meetup made me more grateful for her since i vibe so well with her
-blankets
-trying to believe in things i want
-coffee
-chlorophyll
-hip openers
-physical exercise
-feeling excitement for life surges lately
-doing some research on upcoming trips
-new and innovative concepts
-hot guys
-animal lovers
-people somehow being inspired by me.i often feel invisible and awkward yet somehow i notice people pay a lot of attention to me or tell me how much they've inspired me while showing strong emotions in some form or another(crying,getting really excited and starting to take notes,etc,etc)
-the solar plexus and theta musics playlist i'm listening to
-coolness
-my teddybear hairbrush
-the industries i have worked in
-getting my power back
-empathy
-quiet
-inspiration
-unique beauty
-moving up to 3 days a week of no soda
-sending some emails out for 2nd business to get some things going with that
-touch
-clean clothes
-sleep
-reflection
-art
-happy memories
-decluttering
-having lived a pretty full life with lots of accomplishments,dreams come true,and ranges of incredible experiences
-newness
-forward movement

-being an artist
-doing my job yesterday and finally feeling like a ----- again
-how great the makeup was at my job yesterday
-how amazing the quality is on my camera phone.i took behind the scene pictures that looked like pictures on a professional camera! eerie.
-how amazing i look on the new phone camera. i took selfies today and the last few days and the camera just makes it so much easier. my skin looks amazing on them!
-being in a creative industry
-music
-art
-being a creative person
-getting several great shots of what i was trying to create the other day
-cool phone apps
-inspiration
-how freaking amazing the weather was today.
-making a list of all the fun summer things i'd love to do this year
-sweet soda
-food at my job being provided the other day. they also brought coffee and wine.
-having T kitten in the house for a bit today and him cuddling up on my bed
-having a dream of T cat being back.
-my room being clean
-having nice curves
-looking like a model
-fashion
-friendly people
-kind-heartedness
-having a kind heart
-beauty
-makeup
-glamour
-great views
-security guards in buildings
-trying to take loving myself actions
-instagram
-twitter
-facebook
-having a lot going for me
-seeing my money has been sent and should be in my account anyday now
-touch
-physical exercise
-backbends
-people who are kind to animals
-trying to be stronger and raising my vibe
-flip-flops
-realizing i am better then i think i am
-M getting me a brownie the other day
-self compassion
-fun
-being smart
-hot guys
-positive/soothing self talk
-water

-inspiration,innovation,and new things to try
-sunshine and how good the warm sun felt on me
-finally getting the curtains i've been wanting
-going to work today even though i didn't want to
-fashion and style
-seeing people trying to do things to make me feel better
-having nice,healthy looking teeth
-iced coffee
-positive/reassuring self talk
-my beauty
-being an artist
-doing the cleaning i wanted to do
-new ideas
-deep cleansing breaths
-orangeade vitamin water
-feeling more excited for life again
-quiet
-laying down
-colors
-vibrancy
-himalayn pink salt flavored ghee butter
-squats
-physical exercise
-sleep
-waking up feeling well rested today
-pillows
-ashwagandha
-checking things off my to-do list
-water
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-how amazing the quality on my phone camera is
-instagram
-feeling rejuvenated
-my ysl volupte tint lipstick
-my room being clean
-being talented
-putting money in my savings
-the fan in my room

have had such strange nightmares in the last 24 hours. this morning,there was different people who kept trying to put a snake on me. My best friend from h.s was in the dream in the beginning. I kept trying to run away from the people. I even was running past a two headed large dog. I then found myself going down through a playground to get away and the person following me did end up getting the snake on me,and there was a general feeling in the dream of intuitive thought between me and the others that it's not going to harm me. I then woke up. I think the dream was a psychic dream. I was thinking of R from my past a lot before bed and alot of the dream symbolisms had to do with him. The h.s best friend is the girl who knows him as well. We met him at the same time,she became his friend's girlfriend,and ended up sharing a connection with him as well that i envied. Me and R,when we had our experience that was my first sexual experience,it was at a park in a playground,very similar looking to the one in my dream. There was other things too that made me think right away this connected to him somehow but i dont remember anymore. Tonight,I ended up taking a nap,and had a dream that I found a letter in my father's closet of a child's drawing my brother had made with a date saying when he planned to murder me. Now,looking back,I wonder if he was the one,or one of the people trying to put a snake on me in the dream this morning. My brother hates me for some reason. He has lots of anger issues. He was someone in 2015 I believed was psychic attacking me that I made a post about on here. I used to feel so much empathy for him until i realized his hate and anger towards me is just too much animosity. The last time we spoke was in September. He randomly texted me such ugly things included calling me a b---- and threatening to come to my house and harm me saying things like he would break my teeth and saying awful insults meant to make me feel bad myself...all i had done was texted him to check on him. I sometimes still worry about him and ask my parents how is he.

-getting positive inner knowings more and more about some things
-going to acupuncture today. the guy did tui na and cupping as well which felt amazing.
-the sweet taste of sugary soda
-uber-ing by myself to my appointment and back and enjoying the freedom of that,and the growing i am doing as a person
-the internet
-water
-coffee
-chlorophyll
-seeing little H kitten(or cat as he may be just about a year old now) popping his head in the door looking for me. so cute.
-donating a few dollars to hsus
-newness
-fashion
-hip openers
-having some cuddle time with T kitten
-calling up hospital billing to fix issue that they had
-my therapist calling today to check up on me
-confirming a few jobs for next month to exceed my current minimal financial goals
-becoming more and more financially abundant
-self compassion
-friendly people
-having nice lips
-having a illustrator who is excited and seems to be a fit for the concept i've been directing.
-ideas
-the industry i work in
-the color green
-listening to heart chakra solfeggios and thetas music playlist last night and a throat chakra and solfeggios playlist right now.
-pinterest
-vegan veggie burgers with mustard
-chickpeas curry
-sweeping my room
-keeping my room more cleaner lately and how much more clearer it helps my mind feel
-sunshine
-nice weather today
-the green grass,the green leaves on the trees
-oneness
-art
-my teddy bear hairbrush
-my docle&gabbana sunglasses
-my skin looking super good lately
-healing
-sweaters
-smiling
-checking things off my to-do list
-meditating last night
-praying last night
-silence
-my confidence growing
-my peacock print eyepillow
-doing some visualizing last night
-gratitude
-innocence
-love
-being appreciated and valued
-my phone
-seeing the law of attraction work in positive ways
-being easy on myself
-deep cleansing breaths
-relaxation
-mustard
-touch
-being smart
-forward movement
-models
-common ground amongst others who vibe with you
-TV episodes online
-project offers
-positive affirmations
-creativity
-softness
-feminine energy
-feeling more refreshed lately

-the crown chakra and theta music playlist i'm listening to
-waking up early today
-getting a lot done today
-being in a pretty good mood mostly today
-the beautiful,summery weather today
-going to see my mom yesterday after having not seen her in months and how good it felt to L cat and B cat and also to get rid of the DVDS I had been wanting to get rid of
-sweet soda
-my check finally being deposited today
-ordering a new cute top for work or even social occasions
-ordering a certificate for a chemical peel
-my ysl lipstick
-my teddy bear hairbrush
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-showers
-ashwagandha
-physical exercise
-yoga
-having nice curves
-my vibe rising
-my curtains coming in the mail
-relaxation
-checking things off my to-do list
-TV episodes online
-ordering some food to be delivered and finding a great deal
-delivery commenting how it freaked him out all the cats on my lawn. lol. it is a pretty funny sight,it looks like a cat mob hanging out.
-music
-style
-my new phone
-coffee
-great deals
-new idea coming to me about how to make more space in my room
-my emotions
-meditating today
-peacock prints
-prayer
-gratitude
-visualizing after meditating
-ginger
-making a protein shake for lunch with ginger added to it
-feeling inspired to eating more nourishing again lately
-all the upcoming jobs and the insane amount of money i am making lately. i am definitely going to exceed how much i made last year,even despite the fact that i didnt start working paid again until may of last year so i have a head start to exceed anyways.
-reposting online ads about the missing cats
-T kitten and how sweet and adorable he is
-having a kind heart
-being a creative person
-sending emails out about upcoming projects
-applying to more jobs online
-flowers
-inspiration
-wanderlust
-switching to a new backpack/purse to wear for awhile and cleaning/organizing things out in the process of it.
-cleaning up room a bit
-room being cleaner lately
-doing my dishes
-attempting my phone calls i had to make today.
-sweaters
-the fan in my room
-colors
-fun
-cleaning out the crawlspace outside
-being smart
-having nice eyes
-having great cheekbones

-seeing my artistic visions come to life! so exciting. this has been so artistically healing to see my poetic concept heavily based on last year's betrayal come to life in my artistic project. seeing the in progress photos on the artist's instagram today while at several job's today was such a mood boost. she nailed it.
-hip openers. seems these are my new "if i could do one yoga pose a day" go-to. they just seem to do so much for me.
-getting more motivated as the day went on today. enjoying my day,and having more pep in my step. it's amazing what the power of motivation does.
-taking a break in between job's since i had spare time and just sitting and working on doing some social media work on my 2nd business. felt good to do some work from my mobile and while on the go.
-my style
-my creativity
-fashion
-waking up early today
-feeling attractive and owning my beauty a little bit today
-spending some quality time with T kitten today and bringing him in the house for a bit. felt very nice.
-sunshine
-coffee
-sweet soda
-music
-art
-alcoholic beverages
-having a kind heart
-positive and soothing self talk
-weight slimming down a bit
-dinner
-my teddy bear hair brush
-makeup
-instagram
-my eyesight
-uber
-pinterest
-slowing down
-relaxation
-becoming present in the moment
-TV episodes online
-ideas
-having nice hair
-having nice teeth
-becoming more fearless
-the internet
-confidence growing
-helpful people
-friendly people
-getting my article complete last night
-healing
-my leopard print cardigan

-iced coffee
-sugar
-brownies
-letting go
-vegan food
-maturity
-peace
-seeing my artistic visions come to life
-that blissful blue color of the sky when it's not completely fully dark yet or light yet
-taking less naps and being more rejuvenated lately
-being off antipsychotics
-great designs
-clothes feeling looser
-T kitten and how adorable he is
-all my outdoor cats
-TV episodes online
-motivation
-kindness
-waking up early
-vision
-creativity
-sunshine
-hip openers
-my phone
-the internet
-getting a new dentist appointment made
-doing some social media work
-updating my resume
-getting some of the recaps from work done
-relaxation
-great quotes
-movement
-cuteness
-expansion
-my prada candy perfume
-flowers
-hot guys
-love
-smiling
-oneness
-acting
-talent
-touch
-getting my new top i ordered in the mail
-deep cleansing breaths
-doing some coloring today and using M's husband's new colored pencils that have a ton of color options
-ideas
-my eyesight
-beauty
-my ambition

-my new coffee regular of hazelnut iced almond milk latte with extra sugar
-nightskies
-the intense creative surge i've been feeling lately. i'm like on a creative high.
-resisting the urge to take antipsychotics. i had an ocd/anxiety attack and almost took a quetiapine pill to shut up my paranoid intrusive thoughts but instead i took some 5 inderal and a hydroxyzine and listened to some self hypnosis audio to chill myself out
-feeling more confident and like at any moment i can become really famous,and accomplish big dreams of mine i've been working towards.
-getting all the post job recaps done from weekend jobs
-cleaning my closet a little more and putting out another litter box outside for the cats
-bringing T kitten in my room after incident that triggered me was over,and cuddling with him a bit and seeing how cute he is sleeping and just chilling
-seeing my artistic visions come to life and how perfect they are
-music
-chlorophyll
-the delicious beyond chicken buffalo wrap from whole foods i had today for lunch
-sunshine
-beautiful weather today
-water
-waking up earlier lately
-taking less naps lately
-relaxation activities
-deep cleansing breaths
-sweet soda
-venting
-edginess
-posting a progress picture from my project on one of my social medias
-twitter
-instagram
-facebook
-becoming more confident on social media again finally,after like 7 or 8 years of pulling back inwards from it
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-patience
-seeing all the money i'm earning on the job portals
-my teddy bear hairbrush
-my phone
-newness
-being able to be part of something meaningful in another person's life. i found out the girl i collaborated on one of my artistic vision's with was so nervous and even had anxiety and cried that's how nervous she was.
-my creativity
-allowing my body to get stronger
-physical exercise
-warm showers
-kindness
-touch
-having had some great experiences in my life
-that tommorow is a new day
-creative expression
-my new curtains,they make my room look much nicer
-remembering the law of attraction
-positive/soothing self talk
-doing a little study for computer courses i've been taking
-doing a little reading
-awesome ideas

-my eyeglasses
-coffee
-the fan in my room
-that beautiful,blissful blue color of the skies when it is nighttime/morning time but not 100% fully dark or light yet
-the internet
-etsy
-twitter
-instagram
-facebook
-listening to some solfeggios for the 2nd chakra
-deep cleansing breaths
-M's husband working so having the house to myself for awhile today
-having a lot of paid jobs coming up and making a lot of money
-having a really great journaling session this evening where i dug deeper into some core limiting beliefs that have bothered me for years and cleared away some stuff
-new,more positive perceptions
-my phone
-T kitten
-my beauty
-my self esteem becoming higher
-finishing my book up i had been reading
-doing a little studying on computer course i'm on
-hip openers
-backbends
-physical exercise
-deep stretch
-sunshine
-warm weather
-bananas
-smiling
-quiet
-chips
-L liked my status yesterday
-healthy digestion
-blueberrry waffles
-that an image of me will be in a soon to be published poetry book
-lip balm
-makeup
-my pca skin moisturizer i apply in the daytime
-orangeade water from whole foods
-nourishment
-catching up on my phone calls
-sleep
-peacefulness
-my vibe raising more and more again
-feeling like myself again
-being off antipsychotics
-another person getting back to me about a creative project i want to do
-pictures
-my eyesight
-feeling excited about life
-remembering times where i felt thrilled,excitement,happiness and so on
-updating my to-do list and checking things off of it
-sending out more emails for jobs
-positive and soothing self talk
-colors
-relaxing music
-self compassion

it is a little hard quitting the yoga studio. after all the mess last year when best friend broke the news to me,this was the "normal" job i found and upon my first time walking in i felt so happy,and just knew. i just knew i had to work there. it was my happy thing and has been my zen place ever since. and ever since i made the decision that this would be my last month,i started seeing G again,the client i found really hot and was the first guy i found hot after everything and who seemed like he might've been flirting with me. today was great,in that he came in. and my boss wasn't there. and it was was as if we vibed again but in a different way. upon leaving,he was adorable,polite,and seemed tongue tied,and said something about " as well" i think saying he'll seem me the next day i work as well. he remembers my name,complimented my hair,and remembers my work schedule so he's definitely been present with me,and has interest it could be as if we are friends,even though we've barely had any conversations,maybe like 3-4 short ones in the last almost a year now. i will miss him,and just feeling that vibe today both made my mood soar and yet also broke my heart a little,too. i tried not liking him. and,i've realized it's not even because of this/that/this that i did like him,that was just pretext. i just genuinely feel and had felt really drawn to him. i have one more day left and maybe i'll see him and i had the thought maybe i should drink before shift so i know how to talk. lol. besides him,i feel geuninely that my boss is someone i could be friends with. i'm not worried about that though,as it seems we've started to connect a bit outside of work. and since she is friends with him,who knows,maybe that could even link me and him together later down the line. i quit because i felt i got all i got out of being here. my boss has said i'm welcome to come back anytime so maybe this will even just be temporary and i'll come back in a few months. i just feel like if you want something different,you have to do different,and if you want something to happen,sometimes you have to give it a deadline to happen,and change is life and you should never be afraid of it,it's good to practice that because it helps you to be more detached and when you give something space,you give room for something new to flow in. It's good to not get in a rut,and to let yourself change directions a bit every now,and then,it helps you sail life a bit better.
-positive inner knowings
-seeing G again. it's so weird how all of a sudden towards the end of my time here he shows up again. he was something that made me happy so i am grateful for him. i think going through this,and even feeling tongue tied and flustered is a part of growing and learning. it may suck and feel hopeless,but eventually it'll get right,and the things that will make me happy will fall into place.
-bringing T kitten in room with me for a bit and cuddling and how funny he is
-sweet soda
-having house to myself for a little bit this morning
-water
-coffee
-becoming more social media confident
-the amazing weather today
-sunshine
-positive people
-uber
-weight going down
-all the money i'm earning. i checked the portal of one thing i'm working through and it is so exciting to see
-brownie bites
-pictures
-colored pencils
-coloring in my mandala coloring book for a bit today
-meditation
-connection. no matter what,i feel a connection with my boss and G. i dont know why i cant just consider them both friends. they are not strangers.
-my phone
-fashion
-my eyeglasses
-support
-TV episodes online
-donkey kick exercises
-reflection
-makeup
-ginger
-hot tea
-relaxation
-becoming more surrendered again. i don't know what it is lately,but i just feel like i'm becoming more and more like myself
-doing a spiritual intention seeding exercise the other night
-relaxing music
-art
-new experiences
-ideas
-creativity
-oneness
-writing
-quiet
-desires. having a strong one to go to new mexico lately.
-deep cleansing breaths
-colors
-pictures
-having a dental cleaning tomorrow
-emotions
-touch
-smiling
-nourishment
-cleaning my dishes
-my bed
-hope
-being able to imagine things i couldn't for awhile that are what would make me happy

-the fan in my room
-hypnosis
-amazing weather
-sweet soda
-whole foods orangeade
-touch
-massage
-getting a dental cleaning today
-unintentional intermittent fasting seeming to be another thing that works for me with slimming out
-cute things the outdoor cats do and finding one of their hiding spot's they go to when i cannot find them
-playing with some visualization/loa ri thinking while waiting at the dentist
-my phone
-laughing
-getting another company who owes me money saying they will send my check this afternoon
-deep cleansing breaths
-relief
-my bed
-colors
-pictures
-water
-coffee
-detachment
-ideas
-new perceptions
-new ideas
-little possible glitches in the matrix
-leggings
-M putting more money in my account
-maturity
-stretches
-getting that time of the month
-chocolate
-weight going down
-taking life one day at a time and letting myself slow down
-clarity
-beauty
-kind-heartedness
-appreciation
-self compassion
-being beautiful
-being excited about the law of attraction
-being more filled with possibility
-newness
-embracing change
-emotions
-all the money on it's way to me

today was a weird and long day. it started out with me ended up perfectly on time and even a few minutes early for work,something that lately has not been as common.i ended up wearing my shoes i wore back when i first started(they just happened to be my favorite for the day) and my makeup looked amazing. while there,the day was exactly how a day would go to make you know you made the right decision. my boss was very nice and going out of her way to make me feel welcome and even telling G who sure enough did come in that it was my last day. owner ended up coming in,and someone who works there that i remember seeing in the beginning of me working there. G and my boss definitely seemed something serious. they did that thing where they talk in lower voices like people who are close to each other do and just vibed like they knew each other very well....very different then how they were months ago. it was a couple vibe. it would surprise me if they weren't together. And,so then they did end up together. The whole thing was just like a combination of seeing the loa at work with my wants,and what i had thought/pictured not neccessarily wanting. The thing with my boss telling him was how i had visualized it..and it was all very strange..a bizarre conclusion to my being there. The kind of thing that makes me want to study quantum physics all the more.i was emotional on and off by myself while journaling and reflecting while there. i had felt the feeling of being treated very nicely yet feeling utterly isolated and almost patronized...like i was this little child who still couldn't get it together,but that's ok. everyone else seems to be going on these wild exotic trips to india,and getting the guy and here i am with all my stuckness.i am grateful though for it all. The day also had gloomy weather,and the studio was playing some glum yoga music especially loudly today...it could be heard outside the studio which is not like them. When I first got there my favorite yoga studio song i always had liked was on.by the end of the day,i come home,see my check looked to have been opened up. i get upset feeling betrayed and text M and her husband and her husband explains it was him and it was on accident. i didn't buy it but was glad he admitted it. shortly after an hour later by the time this has all been resolved and i'm sure M had to have known it,she texts me back
'whatever." So,yeah,the whole day with the yoga studio was slightly surreal. And,the b.s at home is aggravating. M is cold. She shuts me off like i'm not worth hearing these days as if any little thing i say is too much for her. I still feel kind of weird. I do feel overall content about life in general,though..i have my thursdays back and after this weekend will have my sundays. I got some journaling done that felt like a deep cleaning for my soul so i feel i have a little direction now. Running is one thing I want to do start doing as hobby/fitness. And,for some reason,i just feel a lot more of an inner cheer since being off antipsychotics..i still get sad/depressed/angry,distrusting at times,but it goes away and i feel good again.

-waffles
-getting my check today
-buying the gucci item i've had my eye on the past months
-coffee
-seeing G again today
-my boss being so nice to me today,and being an awesome person in general and saying let's stay in touch
-newness
-uber
-colors
-chocolate
-M buying me that time of the month product today
-yoga pants
-becoming more independent and free
-T kitten and all the hilarious things he does. he cracks me up.
-cuteness
-instagram
-twitter
-facebook
-all the signs of reconnection i see all the time
-emotions
-life experiences
-reflection
-whole foods orangeade
-sweaters
-working on the under the front porch area for the cats and clearing out the wooden porch sticks
-my beauty
-feeling abundant
-feeling like im growing as a person
-music
-my great taste
-deep cleansing breaths
-my abs looking amazing today
-skipping soda today despite being heavily tempted because of the mood dips
-my curves
-new ideas
-all the creativity flowing lately
-new perceptions
-hypnosis
-positive and soothing self talk
-rest
-sleep talk
-letting go
-peace

the weirdest thing happened today. it was in the evening,i was home from working busy quickly trying to book lodging online when i kept thinking i heard mumbled voices that sounded like ex best friend talking to someone. it drove me nuts. it sounded like he was right on the porch so i went out of my room to see what was that noise. i asked M's husband if someone was here and told him it sounded like someone was on the front porch talking. RIGHT as I was describing this to him,his phone rang,and i seen the name..it was my ex best friend's name,and sure enough ex best friend was asking him if he could stop by to use the printer. Am I psychic? Am I schizophrenic? Why do I have to get the weird as freck experiences like this happening to me?
-discovering new things
-music
-getting my check i've been waiting for to come
-booking my lodging for upcoming trip
-feeling in a pretty upbeat mood most of the day
-fashion
-being told by many things that imply they thought i was way younger then i actually am
-leggings
-great design
-socks
-deep cleansing breaths
-T kitten and all my outdoor cats
-sending my mom cat food and a cat toy for her cat and my brother's cat through the mail last night
-twitter
-my beauty
-words
-beauty
-models
-appreciation
-sleep
-self compassion
-newness
-the heart chakra and theta playlist im listening to right now
-nightskies
-M's husband giving me a ride to my jobs today
-the clients i've been working with lately
-having nice curves
-coffee
-stretches
-my pca skin daycream
-dinner
-spiked seltzer
-being talented
-my eyesight
-nature
-greenery
-friendliness
-calmness
-water
-touch
-excitement
-massage
-my bed
-hot tea
-opportunities
-being off antipsychotics
-my ambition
-the internet
-positive and soothing self talk
-emojis
-how interesting the universe can be

-relaxing music
-sweaters
-the rain calming down a bit
-my kind heart
-bringing H kitten and T kitten in the house for a bit today. H just hid under the bed the whole time and T ate,cuddled,played,etc. H is adorable lately with his new habit of running up to me when i come out. It's crazy since he used to be one of the our most scared feral's. He would literally make the most heartbreaking scared meow sounds if you tried to pick him so he's come quite a long way. He still gets a little nervous being picked up though but loves human attention.
-fashion
-being able to work in the industries i do
-the fashion industry
-shopping.i went a little crazy today despite telling myself i'd take it slow,but it's been a while since i've been able to splurge a little since my checks had been late plus i should be plenty fine still
-having my lodging confirmed for upcoming travel
-water
-coffee
-deciding on the most perfect beautiful card to send to my mom. i debated because i wanted to make sure it's a card that isn't just a card I would love to recieve(because I would) but one i thought fitting and enjoyable. It had a lotus flower in a hand being handed on the front and in the middle a meditating buddha pop up design with more lotus designs. it was really beautfully made. I added a quote by buddha i thought fit perfectly with the handmade note.
-colors
-having a nice dinner tonight i enjoyed
-openness
-pictures
-all the instagram likes and follows i've been getting lately
-soothing/positive self talk
-instagram
-the internet
-TV episodes online
-chocolate cake
-yoga
-physical exercise
-my checking account
-my phone
-sweeping my floor tonight
-appreciation
-art
-twitter
-facebook
-finding a fresh out of the machine cat bed to bring to the outdoor cats and an old work tablecloth for a blanket to put somewhere for them.
-all the outdoor cat houses in the yard. days like today,i really appreciate it. it was raining practically all day and night. they've been huddled down stairs in some of them most of them together all evening.
-my beauty
-deep cleansing breaths
-catching up on doing some laundry
-smiling
-hot guys
-animal lovers and animal avocates
-conversation
-beauty

-my phone
-T kitten and how adorable he is and H cat and how adorable he is and all my outdoor cats and their adorableness
-the little heater in my room
-having money
-getting my reporting done for jobs this last week
-my creativity
-finding out my food card had more money on it then i thought before i went to the grocery store
-getting some groceries today
-getting a certificate for the med spa thing i want to get done
-fashion
-my beauty
-sleep
-rest
-meditating today. i love how every time i meditate,i suddenly feel like i have more time.
-evolving
-that it was less rainy today
-physical exercise
-getting some wet food and treats for my outdoor cats today
-TV episodes online
-nourishment
-coffee
-skipping soda today
-vitamin water
-art
-doing a little studying today
-clean clothes
-positivity and optimism
-spirituality
-pictures
-ideas
-having nice lips
-warm showers
-detachment
-patience
-touch
-emotions
-sweaters
-getting more comfortable with my body again
-that my dentist appointment isn't until the evening tomorrow
-quiet

-managing to calm myself down a little to be able to sit and write
-this forum
-seeing some good sides to the ugly that went down today
-deciding i am absolutely not buying paint for my room after what happened
-M's husband still being on my side
-hope
-soda and the buddy bars I'm snacking on right now while i chill myself out
-whatever the calming pill was M's husband gave me
-people i texted and emailed while i was panicking
-doing a little online shopping and adding more money to my savings account
-T cat. He always manages to cheer me up. yesterday i was trying to give them all their food and T was impatient for me to put his down,so he tried to wack it out of my hand. lol
-my intelligence
-seeing M's true colors so now i can stop trying to get on her good side and stop hoping she will change.i honestly this she has some hater issues going on towards me,too.
-my bed
-ideas
-my phone
-caring less what others think
-not letting haters ruin me within. i just know that if things don't heal themselves, karma is going to end up kicking ex best friend really freaking hard very soon and chaos is going to ensue and that I am going to end up becoming better and better and get my success despite how low M sees me. He silenced me and because I lived here I stayed silent. What reason will I have to stay silent if I don't live here anymore? I hate him. He isn't even in my life anymore and yet still is trying to control me. He won't win. I always win.
-getting some to-do list writing done earlier
-the internet
-catching up on phone calls earlier
-the weather getting a little nicer today
-inspiration
-music
-social media

i was crying on the porch thinking about how i'm not sure i'm going to make it. feeling so alone,and disconnected and thinking about all i've lost and one by one most of my outdoor cats i take care of surrounded me,just going about their life but surrounding me. and,i realized i do have friends.cats are friends and it's important not to dismiss the animal connections because they really do,do a lot in in terms of being a friend. and,i realized that even if i did lose it all,everyone around me dies,and i'm just living on my own,i would be ok,too. it's the thinking that makes things hard but when we change our thoughts,it can all change. there's so much magnificence i've barely tapped into with i can create and change with my life and the law of attraction. all my outdoor cats i only met a year ago,and they fill me with so much connection. You can meet a new connection at any time,or reconnect at any moment. That moment gave me some solace,for now at least.
-my outdoor cats and how much meaning and connection they give my life. recently,i was wondering why are cats so nice to us humans? They really like me and M's husband.
-soda pop
-sweets.
-potatoes
-staying strong and having some moments of the day where i was ok. other moments,i was on the verge of tears or having hands shaking anxiety.
-nice people. my therapist was extra cheery and kind today.
-M's husband keeping extra in touch with me today. i think he's sensed that all that has happened would cause me to feel very on edge. He usually doesn't answer his phone at work but he responded to some of my texts today
-getting a little cleaning done
-getting my new shoes in the mail today
-fashion
-helpful members on this forum
-getting some studying done and making it my goal to try and finish the course up tonight
-ideas
-believing in the law of attraction
-whatever that anxiety pill i took yesterday was. it worked great. i could tell because i felt quite different,stable,and cheery then by the end of the night suddenly my mood shifted and i felt angry again and emotional.
-deciding im going to start going to therapy more again
-deciding to start an account for future rents money just to feel secure in case i ever needed it and throwing a couple dollars in it
-reflection
-getting up kind of early despite having gotten hardly any sleep and having had a nightmare and being nauseous with a major pounding headache.i feel like by waking up earlier,i can give myself more.
-my conviction im on the right side of things
-great design
-my phone
-my phone apps
-rsvp-ing to a one day meditation retreat in june i was emailed about
-nightskies
-that it didn't rain today
-the shelters that the animal organization gave us last fall for our cats. they keep my cats very toasty. every time one of them comes out of them,their fur feels nice and toasty.
-sweaters
-faith
-M's husband saying he will keep trying and that we can pray together,and he will keep trying to talk to M and his son.
-healing
-social media
-this cool new app i found that teaches you different languages. you can literally learn as much as you want and choose based on that level.
-seeing the law of attraction at work.i literally seen a youtube episode talking about a girl who was kicked out and it was so funny because it just FELT very loa to me. I see I am creating my reality,i just need to step outside myself and make some tweaks. I know I can do it. I think silence may be the key.
-my beauty
-coffee
-sprinkles
-blankets
-having a kind heart

today was kind of weird. I slept all day for some reason,a deep sleep and woke up very late having missed my phone appointment with a psychic to talk about T cat so I had to reschedule. I felt better,stronger today but there was just a weird quietness to the house. maybe it was just how i felt,then maybe that's all of reality.
-feeling better and stronger today
-having more money in my account then i thought
-unintentionally taking a break from facebook and realizing it had some benefit actually.i plan to take a full internet break but it probably won't be until next week. the power of silence/detachment mesmerizes me.
-having the great idea of buying a giftcard to the restaurant M loves to go to for me,M and her husband to all go out
-adding money to a few of my savings
-bonding with t kitten today
-all my outdoor cats
-cat cuddles
-nightskies
-doing some more shopping and buying a cool top i liked
-twitter
-laughing
-soda
-sweets
-music
-feeling confident in my ability to change things
-my phone
-dinner
-great designs
-my eyesight
-entertainment
-trying to remember the feeling and memories of when i felt powerful and manifested easily
-the internet
-after meditating last night,deciding to write M a letter as one of the next thing i'm going to do
-meditation and how amazingly powerful and healing it
-reassurances
-learning
-serendipity
-nourishment
-that i work tomorrow
-comfort
-empathy
-kindness
-instagram
-camel pose. my current favorite right now.i love how heart opening this one is.
-deep cleansing breaths
-getting some packages in the mail
-being smart
-getting the certificate for the last course i had been studying for
-the language learning app i've been using.
-doing some cleaning in my room
-connection
-inner belief in self
-positivity
-positive inner knowings
-smiling
-being productive
-nonconformity
-my ambition
-the escentric 02 perfume i felt drawn to put on last night and ended up really enjoying even though typically that one is my last favorite
-my teddy bear hair brush
-my hair
-my beauty
-my eyeglasses
-inspiration
-chlorophyll
-desipramine

in some ways the day was weird,in other ways normal..i woke up late and M was just arriving as I was feeding the cats. She asks me a question in such a normal voice tone that I find it incredibly icy. And,then all besides that,there's this hard tension like I don't know what I can say anymore. To me,she is literally playing cards with the devil. I was positive for most of the day,reciting affirmations calmly in my mind and trying to embrace gratitude,being silent and being in the moment for little moments throughout the day. I had antsiness when M's husband took awhile to get back to me despite it being normal for him to be like that. I remembered that the things i'm doing on a day like today,are growing for me,and do still give me a little anxiety. I felt anger later on again towards M thinking about how hard I have been working and how much progress I have made. I popped a couple inderal towards the end of the day to calm myself during work from anxiety. M's son made a promise to me. How forgetful he can be. He promised in that last phone call that no matter what I would always have a place to stay even with his parents. He also forgets he silenced me. It's not like me to never get revenge and to be so passive when someone does awful things to me. How idiotic he is to not have thought of that. If I get kicked out,because of him,I no longer have anything to silence me and it won't be pretty. I was treated disgustingly. I was abused and it's been hard being silent after all that went down. But,i kept my part. All I want is a safe haven so i can heal and trust again. He needs to stop trying to destroy me and to move on and live with his decisions. Him and his girlfriend have been high on power and need to be taken down a notch and realize they can't bully others to get whatever they want. He plays with dark energy. She is high on power because she feels good about herself for having in her mind "won" a guy by taking him away from his wife,and then his sick best friend he had known for over a decade. Combine that with his law of attraction knowledge. I'm taking my power back. He is so different from how he used to be. The way his parents even describe him..they make it sound like he is so disrespectful. He never used to be like that. He used to always be the polite,obediant to his parents. I heard today from M's husband that she had bad dreams,today too(I had another nightmare). I wondered what they were about but he only said one was about his brother. Sometimes,from time to time when I am alone,I actually do get worried someone from where he lives now is going to try to kill me. I know that sounds crazy but he has changed and is darker now and with a bad crowd and this girlfriend sounds too psychotically obsessed with me to the point of creepy. But,I'm done. I'm taking my power back. Sometimes this all sounds like a dark soap opera but they are idiots and i'm ready to rise above them like i am already am
-art for healing.
-makeup
-staying strong and getting my job done. i think right now,it's just about letting these first few days pass while shifting my vibe a little and then things will start to change,and get easier,and easier again.
-meditating tonight. so far,i've been keeping up with meditating every other day.
-cleaning the top of my desk and putting my clothes away
-my heart chakra spray
-deciding to take my power back and feeling it within
-leggings
-chips
-yoga
-physical exercise
-music
-art
-expression
-connection
-helpful people
-friendly people
-affirmations
-quiet
-calmness
-using this as a mantra for the past day-ish "stop weaving and watch how the pattern improves." rumi took me some time to really grasp that and now i do
-remembering i can change the story at any moment.
-the escentric 02 perfume i've been wearing
-all my outdoor cats
-love
-deciding to get a collar for T kitten and H cat as well after getting a hunch,to.i got a triangle pattern for T kitten and peacock print for H
-self compassion
-my beauty
-my bed
-blankets
-sweaters
-night skies
-playing around on a couple dating apps...i used to be so against them but after all the fear the other day,i joined a few and so far haven't deleted them..usually when i do something like that,i delete them super quickly. I think one key is not taking them seriously and thinking of them as chances to make friends and just meet new people. so far,i like bumble app the best.
-coffee
-water
-kindness
-social media
-pictures
-tea
-relaxation
-deep cleansing breaths
-slowness
-entertainment
-talent
-another possible job confirmation today
-people who want to work with me
-inspiration
-uniqueness
-trees
-having nice curves
-style
-that it didnt rain today
-having money

The little candy tomatoes bring me back to life today that is all. :loveyou:

Today has been better,each day i feel more detached and like i am stepping into a new reality from the one that was the other day. Based on my beliefs,at any moment,we can switch realities. :) It was also sunny today and the dating app bumble has been pleasantly distracting me. lol. I've been mentally reciting the quote "stop weaving and watch how the pattern improves" by rumi as a mantra on and off throughout the day as well.
-music
-dating app bumble. maybe it's just the right time but i actually can tolerate this right now. it's been 3 days and i havent deleted it yet. And,i've even let myself chat a little with 2 guys.
-my project i creative directed based on my heartbreak. man,the artist did such a good job. so healing. i love seeing the finished project.
-my phone
-my strength
-art
-artists
-my new affirmation of being ageless working well lately. i keep having people think i am a student and like i am much younger then i am. love it.
-the internet
-getting through the stress of background life and work and doing it. only got one job done today so am super behind but at least i did it
-M's husband seeming happy with my progress at least.
-that it was sunny out today
-my outdoor cats. aww.i love them so much. I love seeing T kitten doing well,H cat and how affectionate he is now,and even P cat today meowing at me which she rarely does(she's stayed pretty feral oddly enough) because she wanted a snack
-little matrix glitches. i went on pinterest to look at my private creative direction board and seen a picture in there i didnt recognize that i had uploaded from an artist. i knew she sent me one but it looked so different from how i remembered it,it was bizarre)
-ideas
-money
-shopping. i have a shopping addiction these days.i tried to resist and waited a bit,but then bought myself a body scrub from a bodycare line i loved.
-being smart
-my beauty
-makeup
-empowerment
-M's husband ordering food and offering me some as well
-uber
-handling the stresses life sends my way.i don't even know how i'm going to do tomorrow but i'm going to do it
-getting a recap done today so i won't be as likely to be late on those later
-mikes hard lemonade
-sweets
-coffee
-leggings
-emojis
-laughing
-connection
-touch
-fashion
-my ambition
-yoga. i have managed to avoid body pains and i think it's just from doing those right stretches
-affirmations
-my bed
-detachment
-meditation
-prayer
-my heart chakra spray
-quiet

-bumble app. i've actually am starting to taking a liking to it. there's an investment banker i've been chatting with a lot who seems nice,and a drummer i think i am starting to find attractive
-fashion
-my illustrator getting back to me.i was getting worried she had lost interest
-sunshine
-staying strong and keeping it moving when the going got tough today. two jobs i attempted did not work out due to rude people but my boss said i will still get paid. i have been feeling on the urge of nervous breakdown for days and cried on and off today and ended up calling the crisis hotline in the early afternoon to help me calm down.
-being easy on myself and taking things one day at a time. instead of rushing to another job when my head was all over the place after first one didn't work out,i calmed myself down,decided to be spontaneous and ordered myself lunch off grubhub then went to work
-taking my power back
-loving myself
-soda pop
-art
-creativity
-that my social life seems to be on the verge of opening up. i have someone from my work networking app who wants to meet up and a few possibilities starting to come about from bumble
-lunch
-T kitten. I love him. He lets me put the mini party hat on to take his picture while he is laying down and stands on both of his legs to try and get the treats when im outside feeding them. so cute.
-having some time to bring T kitten in the house for a little bit.
-water
-coffee
-pinterest
-my phone
-meditation and staying consistent with it
-upcoming creative projects to boost my career
-getting started on the next course certificate i have to get before i can do my job next week and that it's pretty easy so far
-physical exercise
-starting the course for the next computer skill course im taking
-mantras and affirmations
-having a kind heart
-my beauty
-framing the art photo of my passed on soul connection.i still prefer the look without a frame,though i think.
-uber
-rest
-my bed
-yoga
-my hair
-my intelligence
-relaxation
-unique beauty
-getting another recap done
-prayer
-my heart chakra spray

Everyday I start to feel a little better and like I am shifting things for the better within but then something like i'll be home and all of a sudden M walks in and has just gotten back from what i'm guessing is going to dinner with her son ans his girlfriend and sounding so joyful and I just feel sick to my stomach. I feel betrayed and degraded. That she could spend so much time going out of her way to make me feel comfortable then one day her son threatens and manipulates her and she throws me down the bridge like it's nothing. I don't get it. At all. All this time we had tension,had I known I was risking this to happen,I would've made a far greater effort to fix things. I thought I could trust her. I thought she was mature enough and adult enough to not let what she deemed my being "silly" cause this to happen. I spent all that time being jealous of time she spent with son's girlfriend and she knew it,and this has got to be the coldest response in the world. I used to be able to ask for money or anything like nothing because they encouraged me to do so,now all of a sudden i feel strange to do so. To go from telling me they will treat me like a daughter to this. I know there is problems that I need to resolve. But,I also know that this isn't right,or anything close to a solution..that there can be a way of going back to how it was. This is just all so painful,frightening,and overwhelming. My plan is to go general,shift things within subtly,say strong on some general affirmations,pray,and let life get moving in other areas since i believe that's a key to healing things. I need to focus a lot on empowerment. I feel so victimized and that will help. I won't go down like this. It'd be a mistake for her son. It may be cheesy but I feel like I have to get strong to be like a super hero wielding any attacks executed against me and conquering the bad guys. I'm done being the victim. He ruined me for far too long and he's making some really bad choices right now to try and ruin someone who literally took all he did to me and never even fought back and to try and ruin me to pieces where I have nothing left to stand on. I never thought I'd be in war with the one I thought was my hero and best friend,and thus far it feels like the biggest war I've ever been in. I refuse to feel on edge for a whole year just to get the boot like i'm some stranger. Eff that. After all me and M and her husband had been through. No. That is not truth. I refuse to let that stupid ----- girlfriend of his who has no power whatsoever but who thought she did continue to think so. They are small and they are idiots. She is just a girl. And,I was the one who taught HIM the law of attraction.

-nightskies
-T kitten and all my outdoor cats
-bumble app. if nothing else,it's nice to have a few people to chat without throughout the day.
-M's husband bringing me to my first job today. he's been busy with work but had the day off so it was nice to have some normalness
-sunshine
-M's husband giving me $100. lately,he seems to still want to treat me like a child. he's insisting i don't pay for things like dinner to go out with them because i need that money in case for some reason they cant give me money for uber,etc the dynamics of this literally contradict that of someone giving someone a deadline to be out of the house by.
-iced almond milk halzelnut latte and chocolate donuts i got for breakfast today
-getting chipotle for dinner
-seeing T kitten run to me when i called his name when i got home. so freaking cute.
-fashion
-staying strong
-that i don't have to work tomorrow
-seeing the law of attraction manifest my intentions
-the word thank you and wanting to use that word more to manifest my desires
-that i get to go to the dentist tomorrow
-facebook
-prayer
-working on another recap for the past week's work
-laughing at life
-heels. wearing them makes me feel more able to take on the day
-makeup
-my phone
-trusting in the power of the universe instead of trying to take on actions myself. I trust God is good and is taking care of me and will fix the negativity being done against me. It's in God's hands.
-uber drivers really liking me because i've started to take it upon myself recently to text them after i request,where i'm at. I do this to be efficient and because ever since uber started sending them to wrong addesses and the drivers keep thanking me lately
-being smart
-black leggings
-soda pop
-sweaters
-becoming more indepdent and growing as a person despite what haters say
-trying to keep my vibe semi high despite all that is going on
-a good psychic reading session today with animal communicator. even without me bringing it up,she right away remembered S kitten when I had called. She thinks T cat is with a family and even brought up an orange cat with white which matches the description of my mother's cat and gave me some advice about him for me to look into. I am thinking about getting a reading done about this situation with ex best friend and his girlfriend.
-faith
-all that i have going for me
-my creativity

today,i was crying on the way to my appointment and planning on how can i go missing. with all the pain,and then uber app telling me it'd be $60 bucks there and back,i felt overwhelmed and had to hide my face so the driver didn't see me upset. but my day got better because my appointment went very well,and i read some of my book and practiced the techniques while in the car,waiting in the lobby,and so on it shifted my vibe.
-how well my appoinment went. this dentist office was the friendliest ive been to ever. the dentist complimented my hair,wasn't in a rush,complimented how white my teeth were,tried to make me feel calm and was completely fine with giving me a filling/bonding instead of gum surgery like every other dentist which was what i had been wanting. finally. so good to finally get this done.
-the uber price going down to $20 on the way there after initially being $30 and $35 for cheapest possible ride,and then only being $13 on the way home.
-my book i've been reading that's really been resonating with me. i was able to easily practice the techniques all in the car while in the lobby and on the way home. it even seemed like people started to seem friendlier to me. the book shifted my vibe and made me feel more empowered in an organic way.
-getting some dinner out today delivered when i got home from my appointment
-feeling more confident about my teeth now
-coffee
-brownie bites i found in the fridge to eat
-watching a TV episode online tonight which was nice to just zone out for a bit.
-antidepressants.
-having my appointment for a new doctor tommorow
-getting some journaling done after wanting to do so for a few days
-surrender
-organically shifting my beliefs to more empowering ones
-fashion
-bumble app. though,i'm not sure anything is coming out of it. so far,it's just little meaningless chats.i do hope maybe something does.
-seeing little possible signs sometimes from G from the yoga studio. it makes me wonder sometimes.
-sleep
-all seeming to go well with my recaps from this weekend
-my phone
-sunshine
-my bed
-my new hair barrettes i got in the mail
-my conviction
-my beauty
-peace
-my outdoor cats
-being able to look at things logically
-getting more done with the letter to M last night
-how great my skin has been looking
-physical exercise
-goals
-opportunities
-reflection
-flowers
-entertainment
-talent
-lip balm
-empowerment
-touch
-water

-bumble chats
-art
-music
-connection
-candy
-quiet
-making it to my doctor appointment and doctor being nice and getting me on zoloft,the med i've been wanting,and some psychiatry referrals
-while being about to request uber,being offered the flat flare/ride pass again. i was so excited,and mentally yelled out it's a miracle..and then shortly later realized i had affirmed a few times in the last day for miracles.
-the book i've been reading by william atkinson. it's been really resonating with me,and i've been practicing it on and off ever since i started it. i notice besides feeling calmer and more empowered/my vibe a little higher that people seem to be a little nicer towards me. it's weird.
-getting paid today
-going to the grocery store today and finally getting more food
-nice weather today
-sunshine
-nightskies
-being assertive
-coffee
-getting the tooth bonded yesterday
-working on my to-do list today
-deep cleansing breaths
-doing my dishes
-physical exercises
-even managing to say a few words to M today which i credit to my practice from the william atkinson book
-getting the power book in the mail today and the way the book looked. just looking at it,and holding it made me feel good
-my phone
-seeing for example when an older man that was my uber driver today,i, in my mind,became calmer thinking how important it is to be nicer to older people,and unintentionally practicing the works in the book i'm reading and suddenly he became much kinder to me.
-buying some peacock print ribbon for a project i want to do
-going nuts with shopping and buying a pillow that costs almost $100 that will be a handmade portrait pillow of T cat who has been missing. i wanted it,then felt this overwhelming hunch for it so i went with it
-fashion
-watching some TV episodes online tonight to relax
-how affectionate H cat is
-having T kitten in the house and letting him cuddle on me. He likes to do his ritual where it looks like he is possessing me. He goes on my chest,starts kneading in my sweater while purring and his eyes are shut and he looks like he is in relaxation ecstacy and then he lays on me like i'm a couch. He feels ridiculously close to me.
-getting the alcohol certification i needed to do an upcoming job and this is good because sometimes it's requested and now i can do more jobs now that i have it
-my eyeglasses
-the lemon luna bar i had for breakfast
-water
-being intelligent
-my beauty
-having nice lips
-my bed
-the fashion industry
-kawaii
-opportunities
-my primary career
-my heart chakra spray
-ideas
-kindness
-creativity
-nonconformity

-food to eat
-ghee
-my vibration rising
-feeling my third eye chakra awakening
-my bed
-getting the collars that came onto H cat and T kitten
-animal lovers
-friendliness
-getting my third eye shirt in the mail
-coffee
-donuts
-all the cute pictures of cats i take and all the cute things they do
-meditation and feeling like i started to go deeper into it
-peacock prints
-the color blue
-opportunities
-eye stretches
-cleaning the bed
-stretches
-pictures
-social media
-determination
-sertraline
-doing more reading on my telepathy book and practicing with it
-my phone
-the internet
-organically overcoming beliefs that no longer serve me
-sleep
-accomplishing goals
-manifesting desires
-spirituality
-lotus flowers
-flowers
-quiet
-drinking more water
-peace
-sweaters
-gratitude
-the words thank you

Quote:

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Originally Posted by buttercup

-all the cute pictures of cats i take and all the cute things they do

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Attachment 2221

I always feel bad for those cats not having a coat. :(