Oh, yes. Recovery from an abusive childhood is a very lengthy process. I don't think it ever completely ends, to be honest. And you have to address all kinds of issues, one at a time, usually (or sometimes in "sets" or "patterns"), and work through each.Quote:
Originally Posted by CFTraveler
But what do you do when a parent who abused you refuses to acknowledge it? You really can't say it wasn't his fault. Obviously, it WAS. You MUST acknowlege that, and you MUST work through it, and the only way to eventually really leave it behind is to forgive it.
Sometimes it's possible to see, as an adult, the issues around the abuse. Some kinds of abuse are easier to process when you understand what led to it. But some kinds can never be excused, explained, or mitigated.
Note that forgiveness does not necessarily include continuing a relationship with someone. Some people are just plain toxic and you can forgive them until the cows come home, they'll just keep piling on more stuff that you have to process and get rid of. Sometimes the best thing you can do is stop associating with them.
Agreed. Forgiveness is for the benefit of the one doing the forgiving. (Took me years to understand that; there are a lot of weird ideas about what "forgiveness" is and it took me a long, long time to figure out what it really is about.)Quote:
Originally Posted by CFTraveler