Re: 10/Nov/2010: The Library (School Of Homeopathy)
I had a great time reading your story and I could relate to a lot of things in this one, such as how many details of conversations are «lost» to the conscious mind upon awakening. But when I read Kurt Leland's stories and see how detailed and clear the recall of a conversation can be, I start thinking that perhaps it is possible to work toward a better recall and remove whatever blocks it. I suppose we'd have to search for the underlying reasons of such blockages. For instance, is it that these «lost» details are pieces of information we would not be ready to know yet, or is it that we just don't want to see or face some information about parts of ourselves? If so, working honestly on ourselves, opening our eyes on who we really are and what our experience really is, could improve the recall over time...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Volgerle
I already seem to know that this is sth like the faculty of Alternative Medicine or even more specifically department for Homeopathy. So we finally find a little seminar room (or even office) with a lot of books there again. We take a seat at a table in comfy armchairs. The scene is again quite "mundane". Michael starts to tell me about this place (I forgot what it was) and then begins a talk about 'the history of Homeopathy'.
Seems like quite a clear-cut clue as to the direction you want to explore, deep inside :wink:
Re: 10/Nov/2010: The Library (School Of Homeopathy)
Quote:
Originally Posted by poème
perhaps it is possible to work toward a better recall and remove whatever blocks it. I suppose we'd have to search for the underlying reasons of such blockages.
I kind of did a 'technique' to recall more of my lucidventures lately. I will report on it with connection to another experience soon by which I successfully managed to 'transcribe' a dialogue (not entirely literal but paraphrased and thus accurately enough). The method, of course, won't be anything 'revolutionary', maybe things even known as routine to experienced projectors. But it is good to remind oneself of the necessity to DO this things, after all, so I will write on it here then.
Quote:
Originally Posted by poème
For instance, is it that these «lost» details are pieces of information we would not be ready to know yet, or is it that we just don't want to see or face some information about parts of ourselves?
Good point. I think it might be all of it. Some things that really 'got lost', some things we are not supposed to know, some things we should/would not want to remember. :wink:
Quote:
Originally Posted by poème
Quote:
Originally Posted by Volgerle
I already seem to know that this is sth like the faculty of Alternative Medicine or even more specifically department for Homeopathy. So we finally find a little seminar room (or even office) with a lot of books there again. We take a seat at a table in comfy armchairs. The scene is again quite "mundane". Michael starts to tell me about this place (I forgot what it was) and then begins a talk about 'the history of Homeopathy'.
Seems like quite a clear-cut clue as to the direction you want to explore, deep inside :wink:
Yes, indeed. Of course, (thanks for reminding me, poème, as I forgot to mention this), one of my fields of therapy specialisation as Alternative Medicine Practicioner will be Homeopathy (next to e.g. Traditional Chinese Medicine acupunture, which always interested me a lot).
Re: 14/Mar/ & 19/Apr/2011: Sky-Limits, PREES, Dogs & 'Me-Girls'
14/Mar/2011
The Sky Factory & Girls That Are Me
I go out happy and smiling with vibrations. It is a mix between the lower and the upper portal now. (The upper portal is my 'regular' portal childhood room that was located upstairs, over periods in my childhood I had another bedroom downstairs where I also sometimes project into, it is nowadays the bedroom of my parents in this house).
I am a girl with a little curly hair. I could be black, or rather: mulatta, but not sure. I also see myself form the outside. Then inside again. It is a girl I once saw in another projection (but not in a mirror!). I get up from bed. I ask myself if this is a dream and find it is. I then fly out of the "portal" window into the Astral. Seems I'm not the girl anymore but "me" (whatever that is). I'm flying over an unknown bigger city again, like a superhero I get past and round skyskrapers, it is fun (I understand well that some people have a sole motivation to project/lucid-dream only in order to 'be flying around').
I stop and think about my set goals. Again, I seem to have left half of my mind behind, they do not occur to me. Then one does, 'higher plane' again comes to my semi-lucid „mind“.
I ask for assistance to help me to rise into the beautiful blue sky, but before I can act (I still seem to be flying horizontally) a kind of hangar-like ceiling spreads itself over me very fast, blackening out the beautiful blue sky. It seems to be a kind of factory in the sky. I keep flying horizontally, deeper into that hangar-like airship.
Suddenly a funny little robot like thing flys next to me, communicating to me in undecipherable peeptone language, which I of course don't understand. Actually the robot looks like a white microwave oven with some wings and rotators attached. It's funny. Lots of things in my dreams and lucidventures are funny now. That's good. I like a lighthearted approach to my lucidventures and experience funny things. :lol:
I come to a stop when I see a man on a platform on some machines operating, he pauses when he sees me and looks at me with a slight, expectant smile. It might be that I saw him in dreams before. Unfortunately, before I can find out more, I cannot hold it and 'vanish' again.
I 'wake up' in the lower portal. So this is a false awakening. I go into the bathroom. I look into the mirror. I talk to myself.
I am a girl again. Another one, caucasian with dark hair. But that does not alert me in any way. I consider it to be me (again). It is highly likely (for me about 90% certainty I'd say) that it is the same girl, possibly at a younger age as a child, as this woman whom I also saw in a dream in a mirror lately: viewtopic.php?f=19&t=23105 . That woman wore a red dress, too. The mirror in my parent's home is not big, so I only see her upper body half, but the clothing is indeed red.
This time, "me"/the girl makes some funny grimaces while talking to me/myself. (I don't know what is said anymore). She lifts her hands. I feel that this might somehow be an allusion to my hands-reality checks I lately re-introduced and performed before going to bed. It seems she makes / I make fun of it, but in a nice, humorous and friendly way. It's a child / we are children, after all.
Then I wake up, no PREE sensations reported in log file.
Comments / Afterthoughts
My goodness, the 'Lady In Red' really haunts me now. Former incarnation? Possible. I asked for 'meeting my incarnations' before sleep quite a few times. Sometimes it is interesting how you might get what you ask for. I hope that one day I will be more lucid (the False Awakening took even more lucidity from me) and then I'll fly into the mirror. Let's see what happens. My way of past life regression? Who knows? The research is in progress. About the other black/mulatta girl:. I saw here once in another projection, but not in a mirror.
The factory that was blocking me from going up: Well, possibly it "tells" me that before I can fly up again, I need to go into the garage for a repair or check-up or 'tune-up' of my energy body / flying machine. As some discussions here also showed, I still have not learnt to notice that I should not try to fly up when I am "not supposed to". The blocking of the sky (and its probable reason) continued in the following more recent lucidventure, that's why I add it now already:
19/Apr/2011
Sky Borders Again, The Dog & New Insights On PREES
The lucidventure was much longer, but I keep it to some facts of the main theme (sky barrier) and 2 other important issues:
Again I wanted to go up into the nightly sky and was blocked. Some kind of ceiling (again!) was dragged above me. Suddenly I was running through a kind of huge hall (airport, huge shopping centre, railway station - anything of that kind) with people in it, I was frantically searching the exit to get up to the sky again. But I did not find it. Finally when I found an exit, I said to myself 'hey, I was here before' - meaning in another projection where I also did not manage to fly up - Instead of remembering that lesson I tried to lift off again and of course: I failed. :roll:
In another scene I heard a dog growling at me. I decided to turn around and face the dog (not really scared I was). The 'beast' then turned out to be a sweet little puppy I could pet then. Issue resolved.
Before that, during the hectic run through the big hall I noticed that I was 'losing it' and looked at my hands ('concentration'!) to stabilize myself again. It worked. I also noticed the onset of PREES then, it eased off after I stabilised myself by focussing on my hands.
I woke up with PREES and did a good imprinting process to remember most of the lucadventure.
Comments / Afterthoughts
Yeah, it is hopeless, I know. I am not lucid enough (so far) to remember that I am "not supposed" to fly up in those simulations, but it is my natural urge to do so. I need to remember it. But maybe (and I hope so now) it is a learning effect now and I will remember it next time (that rocket starts are cancelled, at least for the time being).
At least, the lucidventure, although a seeming setback at a first look, was not completely useless regarding some progess in other areas. Three things could be learnt about or at least solidified by repetition:
1. Another fear issue could be resolved (not that I had not done this before!) with the dog. (Not that I was really afraid, though!).
2. PREES is an energetic thing and it happens to me also in the Astral. It is a clear FADING SIGN. So it is also a PRE-Reentry Electric Sensation. (I stick to the name PREES though, the first P meaning either pre- and post-, or both). I now remember that in former lucidventures I had noticed this too, it happens to me before I fade in the astral or during the fading. Why had I forgotten that? It is the same 'electric/electromagnetic' "body" feeling. And even more important: I now practiced how to delay it by focussing on my hands! (a lesson I learnt recently and that is also to be reported in another post).
3. Post-Reentry Imprinting/memorisation process repeated successfully. (Again, same thing: I will mention this technique in another lucadventure of the following day (and thus next post) actually (as promised! so stay tuned, poeme :wink: ))
(My goodness, this is now all a real personal science for me (and I'm still a newbie!). But it is also fun and exciting. :) )
Re: 15/Mar/2011: Agitated Mum / The Circus / The Fake Guide
15/Mar/2011
Agitated Mum / The Circus / The Fake Guide
This is another long adventure (long in my terms :wink: ). Not on the mental plane, such as the Library visit, but still quite amazing and insightful for me. It has three parts, sorry, yeah, it gets bit longer again. For the first time I did a very important memorisation technique afterwards. I would have lost almost everything otherwise. I will comment on the importance of doing this below, maybe it helps s.o. here, too, as a reminder to do after non-physical experience (from regular dreams to projections). Due to the segmentation in distinctive parts I will add a single Comments-section after each major part.
Intro:
I get vibes in hypnagogia and smile, even laugh this time, while remembering again my targets. I noted that happiness and a 'looking-forward-attitude' is a vital exit success ingredient - at least for me.
Primary target is 'the portal' (my childhood bedroom, upstairs, there is another one downstairs that will play a role here).
When the vibes recede, I affirm again harder for my portal ... and I wait because it is still dark, but I know I am 'phased' there now.
Agitated Mum
Next, I am drawn almost a bit violently out of bed in the 'lower/downstairs portal' by a very resolute Mum. It was dark in that room, but then we 'walk' (or fly?) through the lit corridor and finally into the lit kitchen where she shows me sth that upset her.
Her cause for being upset is however utter trivial: it seems the egg-cooker is broke, I see that the lid is off with only one egg in it (and it seems to be put somehow on a peak). Nevertheless, she seems to be so completely unnerved by it. She makes funny elaborated gestures, at one point it seems she drops down on her back but gets up soon after again (all within a second!), so it is just an expression to me or her bewilderment, which I don't understand.
I tell her not to worry. And then I clap her on the arm and say: 'Mum, it's just a dream. Don't worry. You are only dreaming.' First I seem to have problems to convince her that it is a dream. Then I grab some plates out of the cupboard, place them on the floor before me and then use my hands to levitate them up and down.
My Ma again acts emotionally and for me again in a funny way. Somehow she clasps her hands (in relief as it seems) and utters some 'oh' and 'ah' sounds, interjections we usually use when we 'get it'. Now she is not too confused about this realisation and seems to accept it with ease.
I tell her I have to leave now to „the city“ (meaning the Astral) for other things but pad her on her arm again and suggest we agree on a code word and see if she recalls something of it (or this dream of hers) when I ask her later in waking life. The password I tell her is "Blume" (engl: flower), she repeats it and nods to indicate that she has memorised it.
I turn around and fly out of the house (knowing I must hurry now because I lost time) through the main entrance into 'the city'.
Comments / Afterthoughts
First, the interesting thing about this episode is that is resembles another account of another poster in another forum. I read it lately again in connection with validations. Here it is:
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welco ... #msg214951
Quote:
Originally Posted by catmeow
Walking up the garden path I passed through the front door and into the hallway in my parents' house, where I discovered my mother watching in utter surprise as I came in through the front door.
I calmed her down and explained that this was just a kind of "special dream" and she had nothing to worry about. We walked through the living room and into the kitchen where I sat down on a very flimsy wooden "sewing basket", knowing that I couldn't break it. My mother complained, saying I'd break the basket but I reassured her that I was "as light as a feather" and it wouldn't break.
Then I decided to show off, so I started pointing at objects, cups, jars etc, making them fly around the kitchen. My mother was pretty shocked by all of this. At this point I lost consciousness and returned to my physical body.
So the critical question I must ask myself (and I still consider myself an open-minded skeptic and ask these questions): Was I influenced by this and did I possibly 'dream up' the whole thing? The answer is an almost clear 'no'. Everything hints to a solid lucidventure (vibrations, texture and intensity, other episodes, post-reentry electricity, ludicity, etc.). Furthermore, many other core and surrounding facts are not similar to catmeow's account at all. The similarities are just two of the core elements: projector meets dreaming mother in her kitchen, projector lets objects fly to prove to mother she is dreaming. However, I cannot exlude the possibilty that, since I re-read catmeows account lately, I had this 'idea' of letting things fly stored in my memory-subconscious and thus was influenced by it, when it 'occured to me' to do this during the lucadventure.
Of course, since I chose my childhood house as my 'portal' I often meet the people living there (parents, sister) and talk to them. It seems a special case (and a problem) with my mother now: It almost seems I am attracted like a magnet by my mothers emotional force, as in this case (a similar one will be reported soon). This is not good because it keeps me from other things to do.
There is another interesting strong fact that supports my hypothesis: The location, the bedroom of my mother. Her bed stands now EXACTLY (!!) at the point where I was drawn out of bed by her at the beginning of the episode! It used to be my childhood room (the downstairs one) too, but my bed stood then in different spot in that room. You see? I was drawn out of the bed of my mother, where she sleeps right now in current physical life! So I had (forcedly?) joined her dream world there and we went together then (me a bit less voluntarily) into the kitchen, which is the place in physical life where we are mostly talking when I visit her. And she needed to talk to/with me about her troubles. Wow, this makes all so perfect sense now it almost scares me!
This assumption is further supported by another projection from March 30th (to be posted soon) where I again meet her again in her bedroom because she 'beckoned' me to get there for a talk. There is also a recent dream where I was hiding from her outside while she was looking for me searching the house and outside. I did not want to be found, so maybe that also was an expression of my problem.
As to the validation possibilty: I did so far not ask my mother directly if she remembers something (the dream or even the code word). We normally don't talk about dreams (who does?) that much. I don't think she remembered anything.
However, when I visited my parent's house (physical plane) the first time after this experience, she was talking all the time agitatedly about one topic only. The (then) current news about Japan. She seemed very disturbed by it. She talked about nothing else. I tried to calm her and direct the talk to other topics, but that was difficult.
Now, another crazy hypothesis. Look at the egg cooker. Look at a typical European reactor dome (I know the Japanese ones look different, but this is how we imagine nuclear plants).
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...rtIZ0lJ4Rtv8_Qhttp://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...s5_OvFk2eDEQiQ
Need I say more? And note again: in the lucidventure/dream the lid of the egg cooker was blown off !!!
The Circus
After leaving home, I fly in the direction of the city. However, it does not resemble my hometown anymore. Still, it seems to be a small town.
Then I ask my (invisible) guide what to do to keep up lucidity and this adventure, it's one of my greatest problems to fade too soon out of it.
The answer comes in the next scene: I arrive at a kind of Circus. Outside there is platform, also a huge screen behind it. On the stage are an ensemble of dancers who perform piece of music and dance in a kind of narrow dark-grey tight suits. A small audience is scattered around them.
I fly or rather hover above them in the air. I concentrate on them while they focus on their intricate dance moves. And suddenly I seem to understand the answer. (Don't ask my why exactly, but I understood). Somehow it has to do with 'focussing' and 'concentration'. I take the second word and repeat it all over again. I fly off again, but not without extending my thanks to the group of dancers (did they even notice me? no idea.) and my Guide. I repeat the word 'concentration' all the time while 'focusing' my vision on my hands. And I decide this is what I do to keep up lucidity in-between: Look at my hands.
I fly on, happy to have learnt something again. The next lesson isn't long in coming.
Comments / Afterthoughts
I lately also read this in J. Ziewe's book, he constantly uses this technique of focussing on a spot, an object or his own hands and the act of making out intricate patterns on its surface, all in order to stay 'focused on the state/plane he is on and increase the perception sense. It is also what I did in physical life quite often: the reality check. I guess, it is what many of us do as a means to GAIN ludicity. But of course, it can be used to keep up lucidity as well. I will try to integrate it into my routines when I'm out.(And my lucidventure of April 19 - see above - already showed its benefits!).
The Fake Guide
Next I stop flying and land before the Circus tent. I ask if there's s.o. to give me advice. A guy pops up out of the tent. He looks quite average, a man in his 30ies or so with dark hair.
I start asking him questions. I seem to take him for a guide (or even 'my guide'?? I have forgotten if I thought that). What follows is an question-and-answer game of a more reticent kind. Well, at least he answers at all. He is the first person I speak to for a longer time since my lucidventure at the library last November, so I am happy to have s.o. to bombard with questions.
The following dialogue is just paraphrased version, it is not a literal rendering of the actual dialogue, which I couldn't do anyway. So it's just an approximation of the whole talk, a re-enactment inferred from my notes, as best as I can:
Me: "I would like to do retrievals. What do you think? Is it still to early for me to do this kind of job?"
Guide: "You need to wait. Two or three ... [times?]."
Me: "What can I do to prolong my projections? How long can or should it be at maximum? It's difficult for me to keep it up for so long."
Guide: "About 10-15 minutes are enough to reach, not more."
Me: "Wow, 10 minutes would already be a lot. I want more experience and learn. I also would like to [jokingly] 'clean up the Astral' and help people move on. What can I generally do?"
Guide: "Nothing."
Me: "Nothing?"
Guide: "Yeah. Nothing." [shrugs]
Me: "Nothing? Oh well, [jokingly] not that I don't like this kind of Buddhist serenity, I know a relaxed attitude can be even helpful, but in the end it leads nowhere for me. Come on, there must be something."
Guide: "I have no time to care for you now. I need to care for the others."
Being quite friendly first, in the end, he seems to have become a bit edgy. He then turns to a group of his company, some are dressed as clowns or in colourful carnival costumes (remember, it's a Circus). They also look younger than him, most are like children. They intimately embrace in a circle (like a sports team). I feel a bit let down and literally 'excluded'. Seems my 'consultation' time was up now.
Before I can worry too long about what I have done wrong (or if at all), I am suddenly hurled back into physical reality (maybe to do no more harm)?
Comments / Afterthoughts
This last episode left more questions than answers or lessons learnt.
Why did he cut short the talk then? Was he even suddenly becoming hostile or unnerved by me? Well, maybe my expression 'to clean up the Astral' wasn't the most tactful, but I wasn't quite 'in my mind' when I said this. It was jokingly, but nevertheless, maybe it got misunderstood. I would not have said it this way when 100% lucid. So this is also why I felt a bit sorry. Despite the great experience, I felt a bit depressed for some time due to this last scene. In my mind I even apologised to him for that.
Perhaps the lesson here is in communication rather than in anything else. :?:
It might also be to learn to distinguish friendly guides from guys that pose as councellors because they just 'happen to be there' by accident. In hindsight, this guy was not a guide for me. Or was he? Or maybe he was a kind of 'facilitator', after all. But I wasn't one of his clients/protégés, so to speak. It is most likely that I will never know.
Judging the tree by his fruit: Were his hints and information given useful at all? I don't think so. And what does the Circus mean? And what did he mean by "two or three ...". I put "times" in brackets because I did not know what it meant or if he said sth different: Projections? Attempts? Years, months, weeks? Simulations?
Outro:
I wake up abruptly without any transition time. Again with PREE sensations.
I do the very best thing I could do: I know that I would have forgotten almost all of it. So I start the „imprinting“ process. A technique, which I would recommend to everyone. I knew I had to do this now since I had such a multi-scene long experience with so many facettes and shades. I NEEDED TO REMEMBER THIS. I knew I had to try anything possible. I knew: I MUST NOT FORGET. So I closed my eyes again and 'got to work'.
I applied the "imprinting technique". It works for me, so if anyone is interested, give it a try. I'm certain that I would not have rememberd a bit if I had got up and tried to remember. (No, of course I dont lay claim to be an inventor of this. You will find these hints in some good astral projection or lucid dreaming books, too. But it is important to really do this. Therefore an important reminder, to myself and others here, it is vital to do this to remember your long dreams and lucidventures!)
Quote:
POST-IMPRINTING/MEMO TECHNIQUE FOR NON-PHYSICAL EXPERIENCES
After you 'wake up' do the following:
1.) DO NOT MOVE !!!
Not by an inch !!! It is vital you stay exactly in the sleeping position you where in when you 're-entered/woke up'.
2.) CLOSE YOUR EYES AGAIN !!
If you opened them at all, shut them almost immediately again!
3.) Start REWIND-REPLAY PROCESS on the spot!
This is vital to get down all the information, you should do this scene by scene, that means go back to 3. min and play it til 4 min., then go back to 2.min to 3.min to fill the gap... etc.
Alternatively, you can also try to do it all fom the beginning, but I believe that is even more difficult. Or you can do it from last scene (start to finsh), then the scene before that and before that and so on.
No matter which way, be VERY patient and keep your eyes closed and go through the whole experience until you are certain that you 'saved' everything back into waking memory. You can be certain: if it is only once repeated, it will stay. If you are uncertain go through specific 'insecure' parts a second time, after that you can be sure that you have stored it in your short-/middle-term memory and go to step 4.
4.) Only then you should move, get up and go to your dream/projecion JOURNAL and note it all down immediately, maybe some additional memories as details and smaller scenes will come to you as 'fillers', then too. This happens naturally when you have re-played the main context it is embedded in.
CONCLUSION
You see, I learnt quite a few things from this experience, some lessons were facilitated within the experience, some lessons conveyed by the necessity to overcome problems caused by the type of experience (e.g. over-long multi-scene lucidventure):
- don't trust everyone who acts as a guide, don't confide to everyone
- sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut in the astral
- avoid being drawn like a magnet into dream worlds of (m)others, therefore: if necessary change exit points (portals)
- use a post-imprinting (rewind-replay) technique for memorisation
- use 'concentration/focus' technique (hands) to sustain lucidity
- looking forward to the target, smiling/laughing during vibes is the ideal amplifier for phasing success (while visualising target)
- 'private' astral 'locations' can have a quite sophisticated structure:on the inside: dream access of other members who are sharing the same or parts of the same location (mother), entanglement with the physical place (mother/childhood bed location) as well as emotional entaglement (worries of mother); on the outside: the portals to leave (to the astral 'city') and re-enter (which I indeed did in another adventure!)
Re: 30/Mar/2011: First Teleportation Success
I break the chronological order again because this one has a similar 'theme' to the last one reported above. After that I will do 2 or 3 posts on another (very exciting!) new string of events ('theme') happening to me recently.
30/Mar/2011
First Teleportation Success
I get lucid within a dream (a rarer case of mine!) on a field near the hometown of my childhood. It is where we used to go for walks in my childhood, there is also lots of forests nearby.
My immediate idea is to try a 'jump' / 'teleport' / 'phasing' or however you wanna call it. I choose a target that is not far away: the garden of my parent's home. I tried it once in another projection but it failed. So I give the command: "teleport: garden childhood home."
It does not work again. Or at least not perfectly. It gets dark. I see black. But something has changed. I feel some muddy earth below my feet. It gives way a little, I sink in a few inches with my feet. It feels like farmland soil.
We had flower beds and vegetable patches in our garden with lots of soil. But it was more in former times, when I was a child. Today, it is more grassy area there and only a few patches for plants or veggies now.
Since I have not yet any vision I cannot determine if I really 'arrived' at my set destination or elsewhere. I touch myself on the breast to feel me. I feel something cold, it's not my skin. Seems I wear a coat or sth.
Then my idea about "idents" that work with persons. So instead of affirming a location I say „teleport: Mum“ (as it comes naturally) with some emotion in it. Suddenly, the next instant (really!) it is as if someone has switched on the light and I see everything.
I arrived! I AM standing in the garden of my parent's home. And it seems it is the garden of my childhood days. I look down (we live on a hill, so the outside surface is slightly slanted) onto the house. There is again the low hedge before it (about 1m in height, it is separating the garden in two parts) that has been removed many years ago. It is not daytime, rather dusk or dawn. So the atmosphere is rather somber.
I see my mother in the kitchen. Or better: what is the kitchen in physical life. It is empty. I can see her als standing there because the window is no window at all, but just an opening. There is no glass windows, no curtains, shutters, etc. The house is empty, it is like a new / shell construction in progress. That is why I see my mother well, as she stands in the middle of the kitchen.
She beckons me with her left arm, giving me a sign to go to the right (left from my side as I am still about 15 metres away in the garden, looking down on the house and facing her). Right means another room where I will meet her. Guess where? Right! In her today's bedroom, which is of course no bedroom in this location but also as furniture-less and resembling a construction site more as the rest of the house.
I start to run down very fast, kind of leap (or even fly) over the hedge, jump into that square opening (that was or is to become a window?) and so am very fast in that room. I see her sitting there on a chair. Otherwise I don't remember seeing any furniture. Looks like she is in her 50ies or so (she's in her seventies today). She has shorter hair, which she hasn't had this way for many years (as far as I remember).
You won't believe it, but what follows next is the worst cliffhanger any screenwriter could write for a movie or TV show. But I swear, that is how it happened!
I ask her: "Mum, what happened to the house?"
She sighs and says: "Well, [myrealname], it's like that: ..."
I do not get to hear the last part of the sentence. Suddenly I get hurled out of this scene. I wake up. (This time no PREES is documented in my notes, but I guess I had some).
Comments / Afterthoughts
This doubtless teleportation success gets spoilt a bit by the more sullen type of the ensuing scene with my mother. Interestingly, there also seems a kind of 'time travel' involved. I was travelling to the astral location of our house, but not into the present. This is not surprising at all, since many of my previous trips to the 'portal' were of the same kind. Moreover, I seem again to have entered the dream world of my mother. As my 'Agitated-Mum'-post already showed you, I enter the dreams of my mother quite regularly. I also could report on other ("normal" non-lucid) dreams with me in "her place" and dreaming stuff that might be hers.
Next to my "time travel portal" it is also that she might dream a lot of the past herself, too. So this explains the 'time leap'. Moreover, the emptiness of the house, where she lived now for many decades, might have been an expression of fear and loneliness (or: fear of loneliness). Just a guess, but the background to her 'dream' of an empty home might be that my father is over 80 now. I guess, she might be in a growing fear of losing him. (He is very healthy, btw, like she is, so I think it is mainly about fear).
Monroe and other projectors were right. The 'ident' of a person, plus a kind of emotional entanglement, that guarantees a success of teleportation. But what to do if you want to get to a 'place only' without connecting it to someone? Can you develop an emotional entanglement with any location by desire to get there? How to do that? No idea.
Anybody here who knows good advice on location teleports/jumps/phasing?
Re: 28/Mar/ & 05/Apr/2011: The Grabbing Hands - It's A Girl!
28/Mar & 05/Apr/2011
The Grabbing Hands - It's A Girl!
Recently, this string of exciting developments continued from a thing happening in my lucidventure called Mind-Split & Grabbing Hands In "The Portal" of Dec 14th 2010. It seems, although I tried, I cannot so fast get rid of the portal, because I automatically phase into it. And I cannot get rid of someone grabbing me there by the arms / wrists sometimes.
The portal almost seems connected with the grabbing hands at my wrists / forearms. Only there, I experience this 'force' trying to pull me out. Sometimes it is a bit scary. Sometimes it is interesting. Sometimes it is even somehow funny. First I had problems with assessing this situation - benevolent, neg, harmless and neutral? Now I tend towards beneficient. The final verdict may still be out on this. (In the conclusion sections of the posts, strong doubts are are expressed, due to impressions recorded in my journal right after the experience, but my 'provisional first verdict' is in the last post further down.) Here are the first two of the recent events of this 'theme':
28/Mar/2011
It's A Girl!
At that time I still did affirmations to get to the childhood room portal. I get vibes in hypnagogia as usual. I say to myself 'I am in my childhood room'. Strange: I hear already saying it myself in a normal and in an child's voice, it is kind of dubbed! Seems I arrived.
I try to get out two times, I do, but when 'up' finally it ends in sudden exit blindness. Despite affirmations for vision it does not work, I only see (and I saw that before once) coloured thin lines moving before a velvet black background, like s.o. would paint sth with a thin liner on a black background sheet, colours are mostly white and light colours, but they change rapidly.
It seems then I remembered the helping hands from my early projections (see post "The Helping Hands"). So during the second time I get daring and suddenly say: 'ok, help me out'. Now again, s.o. has my forarm beneath the wrists in his/her grip.
As I do neither see something (except for the thin lines on blackness) and nor am able to use my both 'trapped' hands, I start to 'sense'. Don't ask my what that is exactly. I just 'sensed'. Possibly I am developing other senses now - which is a good thing I heard. :wink:
I sense that we are somehow in the middle of the room already. And I sense LONG, DARK HAIR (around a head, notabene!).
It's a girl, after all. (Unless it's a male metalhead or hippie, or an Orangutan apeman ... but hey, the hair was black, so I can rule out the latter hypothesis again - Phew!). I think I also 'sensed' a female shape then, but not sure about this.
Then, possibly after changing 'my mind' again about the "helping", I suddenly feel it's enough and somehow "phase" back into my bed again. Immediately the pressure on my arms is gone, the girl is gone, too. However, it could be (not sure though) that I heard a silent sheepish maidenly giggle (but not mean in any way) the moment I re-entered into the (astral) bed.
Back in bed, first I think: ok, that's it, I f*ucked it up again. Then another learning experience: I remember that it need not be over at all now. And I am right! I realise that I should try to just stand up and fly around to see if I'm in a lucid dream / projection. And so I do. I am still in the portal and can see now! There is no one except for me. I try to lift of the ground and it works. I know I am in the Astral / dreaming. I get onto the window sill and look down. For some reasons unknown to me I decide not to fly out this time but rather go back into the house. (The experience goes on, but it is not relevant anymore for the 'theme'. Just to add that I woke up with the usual post-reentry-electric-sensations (PREES)).
Comments / Afterthoughts
Who is the girl? Is it the one who appeared several times in my dreams - Ludmilla? When I first had this experience (see lucidventure Dec 14 2010) I had done pre-sleep affirmations to 'meet Ludmilla' . But if it's her why is she so clumsy with me? I don't think now she's a guide - they wouldn't be 'clumsy', or? Moreover, if she would be a friendly entity / guide she would already know that I don't like this violent tugging at me. I decide on that day, if it happens the next time, to communicate with her. And so I did (see below).
Also, it's a good learning experience no to fall into the trap of False Awakenings! Hope I can keep it up!
05/Apr/2011
The Voice And The Fields
First projection:
Hypnagogia, vibes, usual procedure. But this time I get my first vibrations at the head, which is new to me (upper chakra work benefits?). I also have slight vibes at my arms, but nowhere else. And my arms are twitching! Or even s.o. is tugging at them! I feel that one arm (of my energy body I suppose) is lifted in the air for some centimeters and falls down again. Then I sense 'the portal' and also the clenching at my forearms again. I feel being pulled up. Unfortunately it is dark again, I have no vision.
I ask (as I planned) the entity to tell me its (her?) name. First I hear nothing. Then, after a short while of waiting and patience and my self-confident teasing why she is so 'shy' (yeah, I fight back now!), the answer comes. I hear a woman/girl's voice, which I do not recognise from any earlier experience. When I say: I "hear" it, I really mean it. It is so strangely different from other things you "hear" in the Astral or in dreams, the typical non-physical, telepathic way of communication. No, this is very different. I really hear it - literally! This was another person (spirit) "speaking" to me, neither any dream character nor my own projection, I am 100% sure now. I also think I hear if more from my right side (and little more back).
She says: 'You will know this soon.'
Oh, fine. Fabulous! I see! How illuminating! :roll:
We seem to fly, (possibly out of the window a bit to the right then into the direction of the forest) and I still don't see anything. She goes on talking, but somehow the rest I understand is garbled for me, I just get a clue about sth that we 'first have to get to the 'fields', but I am not sure about the word: in German it sounded like "Felder" (fields) or "Keller" (cellar) - the second term is a bit scary for obvious reasons! Maybe that caused my blinking out then? The voice distorts or fades then. I wake up.
A girl whom I cannot see but at least hear and 'sense/feel' now. Well, seems I keep literally having 'blind dates' now. :mrgreen:
Second projection:
I get lucid but without any vibes. I am in the portal again. I can see immediately. I get up, know immediately that I am dreaming / in the Astral again. I start to lift off the ground for a test - it works! I look out of the window.
There are fields outside! :shock:
It is a sunny day. I see pastures in the distance and what looks like a shepherd as one single figure standing there alone in the vast scenery of lush grass and white flocks which could be sheep. Perhaps (but not sure) this guy holds a classical shepherd's crook. But it is too far away to make out details. All in all, it's is a truly idealised picture, peaceful, sunny, naturalistic, almost portrait-like, it might have romantic and/or even religious connotations. As I do not see much movement it almost has the air of a 'still life painting' for me.
However, in my state I do not seem to be fixed on it too much. I want to fly out of the window and pursue my set targets (and 'waste no thought' of flying to these fields). I fall down. It is dark again. I stand at the driveway before my parent's home, trying to lift off, but hardly make it. I try to teleport to one of my targets (the marketplace of my current hometown). I fail miserably and wake up with PREES instead.
Comments / Afterthoughts
As said above. Not very illuminating. At least I know she has black hair and how her voice sounds. She probably talked about some "fields" that I saw in the 2nd projection, but only could relate it to her utterances later when awake again. If she talked about these fields (to get to the shepherd?) then she might be a benevolent helper - despite her 'violent' approach? Maybe the tugging out is necessary to 'train' me or get my energy aspects out faster? Still, I am not certain about anything.
Also, a thought about vibrations: I normally would like to wait for vibrations (I like them!) to happen and then do the exit. Her tugging almost before any vibes seems to send a quite indirect message to me: "WASTE OF TIME, SO CUT THE CRAP, BOY!" It seems I'm (supposed to be) beyond the vibrational thing to happen and will become a 'phaser' now. (?)
Another afterthought: seeing shepherds in dreams, after all, can mean something good.
"Shepherd - Dreaming that you see a shepherd, indicates that you will have an honest and great friend."
http://mysteries24.com/l-13232-Shepherd
"Shepherd - To see a shepherd in your dream, symbolizes the nurturing aspect of your character. It represents guidance, direction, and unification."
http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdicti ... h=shepherd
Should I be optimistic now? It seems it was a mistake not to try to fly out there. Stupid me. Possibly, I should try affirmations to "get to the shepherd's fields" next. Maybe that is the purpose of the simulation? Get out of the dark night and onto the sunny fields? Or maybe it was just a visual sign of friendship given to me? Or both? Confused again.
Re: 09 & 17/Apr/2011: Personal Trainer?
09/Apr/2011
Personal Trainer? Part 1: Flight Simulation: Appartment
I had made a decision before that night. I knew there was only one way or another, no in-betweens: trust or refusal with complete defensive action. I opted for trust.
In hypnopomp state, I get only very slight vibes, mostly around the arms, but almost non-existent. It seems I don't need vibes anymore. I feel the pressure 'grip' around my lower arms again - so 'she' is back. I send the signal that I like to be taken by the hands and instead of being 'seized' like that. And she obeys!
We fly out. I have both my hands in her hands now as she is dragging me after her. I don't see her. I see nothing again, but the darkness is not dark at all but rather 'lighted'. It is like when you gaze at a lamp or are in sunlight and close your eyes.
During the whole experience I did not see the entity dragging me. I also did not pay attention to myself (body). I just was a point of consciousness. This time I also did not talk to the entity. I just let it happen. So we just fly around, the entity dragging me along behind her. All the time, I felt her hands clearly, they felt like human hands indeed. Sometimes I even think that this kind of usual 'sweatiness' and warmth set in after you hold hands after a while.
After my vision sets in, we are in an appartment with a high ceiling as it seems. (As said, I did not see "her", just where I was flying but always feeling the hands I held and them dragging me). We fly through inner and outer walls, windows, cupboards. There are people present. One guy with black hair, yawning. We fly above him but he does not notice us. I apologise to him for intruding, but he also does not hear me. I also utter - as I indeed seem to have a lot of fun - some ohs and ahs and laughs. After we fly "into" another cupboard in a kitchen, the lucidventure ends. I wake up with PREES.
Comments / Afterthoughts
Seems like a training session to me, if you ask me. Although I do not know what it was about exactly. I have flewn through flats and objects before (alone). So I don't know what the learning experience should have been.
Probably, it was a kind of introductory confidence- and trust-building measure only. A kind of first trip out together as a 'warm-up'. It's like your first lesson (as a metaphor now) in a driving school where you are supposed to get the feel of driving the car for the first time and your instructor only lets you operating the steering wheel (operating the brakes and gas pedal himself) while you cruise around slowly on a few streets through a boring low traffic suburban neighbourhood. Even if you tell them you have driven a car before on clandestine trips, they don't do it differently, but rather pull through their educational 'program'.
Just my 2 cents on this, however, I have no idea (yet) if I am right or completely mistaken. Future will tell (as she said: 'I will know soon').
17/Apr/2011
Personal Trainer? Part 2: Flight Simulation: Forest
A few days nothing happened to my disappointment. Then: "another trip out".
I grabbed a hand again but I do not remember too much of the start (e.g. if I had vibrations or wherefrom we started). I am again dragged by the 'invisible hands', this time through some woods of my childhood. Again I don't see s.o. but have lots of fun and a good laugh.
When "we" arrive at the garden of my childhood home (btw, almost the same spot as in the Teleportation-post) I am "dropped" or land and am alone. (Our garden is next to a forest, very cool place to live indeed). It is night or dusk/dawn again. I climb over the garden fence and stand on the grassy lane that runs parallel to the forest. Then - I know it gets a bit cheesy now, but that's how it happened - I hear from far a beautiful angelic choir singing in high tones, or a bit medieval style church choir. I decide to investigate, but as soon as I lift off the singing stops and I also wake up, this time without PREES.
Comments / Afterthoughts
I get the feeling I am supposed (in this simulation?) to get farther away from the darkness around my "astral childhood home" in order to reach the light-filled heavenly fields shepherd / angelic choir. Maybe that's why I got 'dropped' there - to find my way on my own. And the angelic choir was in the same direction as the shepherd's fields, so was the (felt but not seen) direction that time when 'Ludmilla' talked to me.
What happens next? What will we fly through? For me, this is a really thrilling development! It gets to be a kind of weekly cliffhanger suspense thriller TV show where you cannot wait til the week is up again for the next episode to come.
(However, so far, date 26th April, no meeting or "roundtrip" happened anymore, I am waiting... maybe it IS a weekly show, after all? Next episode should be up soon ... :mrgreen: :wink: ).
Re: Volgerle's Lucidiary is UP-TO-DATE! :-)
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...43Ln0ItevCtBpw Phew! - Ok, I'm ready now, we're up-to-date. :D
So this is my state of affairs, as concluded from the very recent events: I need to get to the fields!
By this I can hopefully 'break the astral/dream simulation' presented to me. And I hope I will then be able to 'phase/wake up' in the astral in another bed or place instead of my childhood bedroom. (Maybe even phasing "into these fields"? But I doubt that I will be able to do that.)
My certainty has risen during the last days (thinking about hardly anything else, as you might understand) that I need to find the beautiful and "sunny shepherd's/angel-choir's pastures", in order to get on. Good thing about this: I will not have to fly up (and fail again expectably). I can stick to ground level and fly horizontally. And I know the way since I know the "astral-geographical" direction almost exactly relative to my astral childhood home "portal" (isn't this kind of relative navigational sense a part of Kurt Leland's 'environmental' or 'kinesthetic' senses?). Should be a piece of cake. :wink:
So here's a short summary of my expermimental and ensuing rational "findings" (please advise if you think you find a flaw in my reasoning):
The reasons why I know that I have to reach the fields and how to find them:
1. the clear view from my window that showed them to me in the first place
2. the direction of the angel's choir's voices was the same
3. the entity/guide's clear voice said sth like 'we must get to the fields first' (before I would learn about her name etc.)
4. the direction of our flight when I was blind and she talked to me 'could' have been the forest/fields, too (but I cannot be certain about this, just a 'feeling' as far as I could 'sense' where we were flying)
5. the entity/guide had probably 'dropped' me in the nightly garden for me to find the way to the sunny fields alone
6. the shepherd symbolism probably as a sign to reassure me
And the reasons for (provisional) trust in the entity are the following:
1. the entity/guide showed first up the night I did the affirmation to "meet" it (or better: "her", see Dec 14th)
2. the entity's 'looks' so far (as I can judge) coincide with the entity provisionally known by me as "Ludmilla"
3. if she was a "neg" ... she could have harmed me already all the time (but didn't) !!! (= most important argument, the more I come to think about it ...)
4. she already taught me some 'indirect lessons', e.g. developing senses by "seeing without seeing" her hair and also (albeit reluctantly as it seemed) by letting me "hear" her; e.g. the 'cut-the-crap' lesson regarding vibrations; e.g. the flying lessons (although I still don't know what I was supposed to learn by that)
5. she 'obeyed' my communicated request / 'wish' to be taken by the hand instead of being seized by both wrists
6. finally, next to logically assessing the clues I got so far, my intuition tells me I am right (about both: the entity and the fields)
So for the following days, I will go to bed with the affirmation "get to the fields" (or similar) now.
Keep you posted. Hopefully, or if you don't hear from me anymore, well, then probably I was mistaken and Ludmilla was Lucifemilla instead, and instead of getting to any heavenly fields I flew straightaway through a gate to the underworld where my soul will pass quite a few eternities in agony then. :twisted: :mrgreen:
Re: 24/May/2011: The Viking
24/May/2011
The Viking
Wow, after a long hiatus of over a month (last lucadventure: Apr 17th) I finally 'got out' again tonight. At first glance it's rather disappointing, but on second glance there are some little progress signs.
I get lucid hearing a bird. I am lying in bed in the lower (downstairs) portal. The bird voice comes from the kitchen where we used to have our little green parakeet in the 80ies. So, I am back after all. I soon get completely lucid, knowing my present self and my target. I am now in the upper (upstairs) portal and try to get up.
Something puts a pressure on my throat, congests it. But it is not a person or anything, I also "know" it is not my physical body. It is just an energetic feeling. I say to myself that I don't wanna be kept from getting up by this and that it will vanish. And so it does! Btw, I do not have any vibrations at all. Just this kind of energetic congestion that eased off as soon as I am up.
I'm then standing (as I did before) on the outer window sill of my window (high up on the second floor of our house). This time: no hesitation! I lift off into the sky. I head to my target because I remember it: the fields. I have to fly straight on. It is night, but there is more light over there where 'the fields' are. I also request more light and don't forget to look at my hands (while flying) once for concentration purposes.
I arrive at a kind of jungle-like forest or plains. It is at daylight now. I see some exotic flower-like trees. I still fly on and then I see the shepherd on a kind of clearing.
I go down and land. From near, however, the shepherd 'turns into' a Viking. The shepherd's crook gets a spear. The beard turns into a little thin mustache. He still stands there like a statue, just looking at me. For me, he resembles just a little the cartoon figure from a children's tv show we had in Germany. The fellow looks mostly like the cartoon character "Gorm", just much taller and not so small.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicky_the_Viking
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...SqhXMcpiJf89Tw
Before I can interact or go on in some way I get back to my body involuntarily. I have heavy PREES. I remember that I fell asleep immediately again due to heavy tiredness.
Comments / Afterthoughts
As said, first it seems like another boring re-wind and re-play of the same old simulation I have gone through a lot of times now. (However, I want repeatable experiences, so it is okay again, on the other hand.)
The positive assets are: 1. I overcame some energetic congestions and did not get diverted from exiting, seems I have a real warrior attitude now. 2. I became (after a few seconds of 'orientation') highly lucid, remembering my target, this was not always the case: First, before, I often forgot my intentions and targets. Secondly, often when I got to the portal I thought I was a younger version of me and forgot my present 'self' entirely - not this time! 3. I got to the area where the fields were, despite a rather confusing and disappointing result there. 4. I remembered to do other important techniques such as requesting better vision and the hands-concentration practice.
Ok, so what about the Norseman? I view this, as the shepherd, purely in symbolical terms. But that is the problem. What does he stand for symbolically?
Before I did some research, I had my own idea. I tend to interpret symbols in a positive way for me. Maybe too positive, I have to admit. I thought that Vikings were adventurers and discoverers in their time. They broke new ground with their ships all over the world. Of course, they also were warriors.
So I thought that it might be my gained 'warrior attitude', boldness and desire for discovery that is a good thing. Maybe it was a sign that I need even more of it. Background: I try to learn phasing / W.I.L.D. induction now in order to have controlled exits, since I need to get out more often to make progress. I thought it might be related to this.
However, on checking the 'official' dream interpretation teachings, I found a surprise that is a bit unsettling:
"To see a Viking in your dream, indicates that you are feeling violated or conflicted in some way. You are facing a confrontational situation."
http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdicti ... rch=Viking
http://www.dreamsstudy.com/dream_meanin ... bol=viking
"To dream of a viking, means that you have problems."
http://mysteries24.com/l-11576-Viking
There might be something to it. I have a current prob (for months now with rising degrees of intensity) with a noisy neighbour in the flat above mine. It needs to be settled. If I can't I should rather move out because the situation has sometimes become unbearable. I need to confront the neighbour, which so far I avoided - mostly due to my rather 'defensive' attitude, but maybe sometimes it is better or even necessary to fight back and speak up? Of course it also could refer to other kinds of confrontational issues, but this is what comes first to my mind now, since it occupies my thoughts a lot of the time when I am at home (and it starts even already before I get home).
A third interpretation more directly to the character of Gorm:
"a rather over-excited fellow among the Flake Vikings who occupies the position of the lookout" (Wiki)
Does it mean I should be "on the lookout"? Or that I am over-excited (when projecting) too much?
If you have any (other) good ideas or see that one of my interpretations makes (no) sense, please comment.
Re: 30/May/2011: Someone Nearly Tore My Arm Off ;-)
30/May/2011
Someone Nearly Tore My Arm Off ;-)
Ok, so this is a short one, actually a failure but even failures are sometimes notable - due to the circumstances. In hypnopomp state, I get the dream-like image (or create it myself) of my uncle who died a few months ago. I am partially lucid, and think to myself that he might help me and stretch out my (imaginary?) arms to say hello to him.
Suddenly, my left arm is heavily tugged at, this time more in the direction away from my body (like s.o. tugging at you or pulling you near them) rather than upwards. It is very violent. I am not angry but not really 'pleased' either. Of course, there is no pain, it's my energy arm anyway. Still, it is unpleasant. Then I feel the 'usual' pressure/grip around my wrists again. Ok, usual procedure. (Is it "her"? I don't know. Btw, I did and do not think it is my uncle!). Then I 'ask' (telepathically) for the hands to be grabbed again, which works (usual procedure, my goodness, this is even getting a bit boring now...). So I keep lying there with grabbed hands. I see nothing. (I don't know anymore if I 'felt' a take-off and flying this time).
Then it gets like it was on my "09/Apr/2011 - Personal Trainer? Part 1: Flight Simulation: Appartment" lucadventure: I see 'lighted darkness' with closed eyes (close your eyes and direct your head to a lighted lamp, that's what it is like). Actually, nothing more happens then. I ask the entity: 'where are we going?' No answer. I am already a bit on edge. It has not only to do with the violent clumsy tugging, but also with my general bodily constitution, as I went to bed completely tired and also a bit sick (needing sleep desperately). It did not get better today. I felt tired, stressed out and a bit headachy all day long. So possibly it wasn't my day (night) anyway.
Then I feel something warm (the hands still grabbed and the 'lighted darkness' still on) additionally at my upper left arm. This is the moment when I decide I definitely have enough! As I also did not get any answer til then, I break off the whole thing, which I can do easily by waking up.
Comments / Afterthoughts
It all sucks.
04/Jun/2011: First Phasing (?) Or Hypnagogic Exit (!)
04/Jun/2011
First Phasing (?) Or Hypnagogic Exit (!)
New method: I got up after 2-3 hours of sleep and laid down again after being up for 15 minutes or so. I put on some light clothes and also put a woolen blanket under me for back-up because I lie on the back, which I don't usually do. As I am a notorious side sleeper (actually I so far could never fall asleep while on my back), it has the great advantage of not being so comfortable and falling asleep only very lightly - so it won't be pretty deep and I can get easier into "the state" that helps me exit. That's what I thought. And this exactly works for me (quite a few times now).
So here (on my first attempt) I got into the state where I knew I could exit. No vibrations though! I was looking forward to it and smiled. Then I asked for a hand. It felt like being in my portal again. The hand came, but no strong grip. I stretched out my second hand, the funny thing is that it was somehow with crossed arms. A second hand also came.
I don't know if I rose up but it felt like moving and I saw black. It was the black velvety background with thin lines being drawn again, this time the only colour was violet (which I assume to be a good sign for me).
After a while without seeing anything I requested vision. It came after a few seconds. I saw myself then getting up from bed in my portal indeed when looking at a mirror in the ceiling, seeing my"self". I thought then that I woke up. So this was a false awakening unfortunately, which means I lost this time too much of lucidity. Don't know much about what happened then but I think I soon woke up after that or fell into "normal" sleep/dreams.
Comments / Afterthoughts
I don't know if I really "phased" or just exited from light sleep/hypnagogia, but it is still a premiere anyway, since I did not go out from "the other side" namely from hypnopomp stage (diving up from deeper sleep). This is progress for me. I also seem to be beyond vibrations now completely.
I wonder if the mirror might indicate the 'gate' to my higher self. Nick Newport indicated such a thing in one of his courses. Maybe the colour violet also indicates this for me? At least, I connect violet with my HS. Last but not least: in my pre-sleep affirmations, I had asked my HS to help me with exits. So maybe it worked. :thumbsup:
11/Jun/2011: Lesson On Cyclical Times (?)
11/Jun/2011
Lesson On Cyclical Times (?)
This is another rather strange one.
After exit (unusually: no portal, helping hands and even this time with vibes) I was in a kind of living room unknown to me. A lady in red dress introduces herself to me, but I forgot her name.
Somehow I think this is the future, despite the fact that there is nothing futuristic about the appartment I am in. This 'feel' is similar to my Oct 17th 2010 (time travel to the year 2194) lucidventure.
I ask her about the date. She says sth like 44-thousand. I am stunned despite my own intutition I had before that it was the far (!) future. I ask: What? Again several thousands is the answer. I grab a notebook or a piece of paper and try to note it down (don't ask me why, I was lucid and knew that I could not take it with me, maybe I wanted to use this as a memorisation practice?).
At one point, the notepad gets pretty small, only a square centimeter in size, of course I cannot use it. Then the lady gives me a paper with a kind of calculation. I see numbers like in an addition but cannot take it in. She often repeats the date and I ask again and again, repeating it to myself and trying to note it down. But it seems the numbers are different every time. Sometimes much smaller even.
She also tells me that in my point in time where I come from there will be soon a kind of asassination of a (political?) leader. She shows me a paper with a Spanish male name on it.
In-between, I look at my hands so as not to fade to soon out of this scene. (Good one! You've learnt your lessons, Volgerle :)).
Other people join the room. They wear funny clothes, but not what I would call futuristic. One guy with a bald head also speaks to me. I ask him again what time they are in and how it relates to 'mine'.
He and the others then tell me about cycles, which explains why they sometimes told me a smaller number and then the whole number of the different cyclical periods added up or combined, as it seems. Depends on how you look at it, they say.
I then ask the bald-headed guy if their (total) year-number is so high and mine so low, because I am from the „first cycle“ with the year 2011.
The guy says yes, and points at my head marking its shape and says that one can clearly see that I am 'from the first cycle' by my looks. This made me feel like being a kind of Neanderthaler. They did look like normal humans to me (but who knows how I looked to them?).
Then I faded and was back quickly the next second in bed, with little but still notable PREES. I looked at my alarm clock to check time, but see below.
Comments / Afterthoughts
After some thoughts about this, I think this was probably a lesson on what NOT to do in a projection? Trying to note down numbers (instead of talking to the people and investigate more).
Also, I forgot that there were many millenia and the most of human history before 'our' year 0. Maybe they just weren't calculating as year 0 according to the Western (Christian) calendar at all? But what was this about cycles then? Sounds like a re-run of the same timeframe. Or some age cycle (e.g. golden age)? Or alternative realities added up? :confused:
One more strange synchronicity is involved here that might also be related to lessons about time (period measurements):
That night, I went to bed looking at the alarm clock and it was 3:00 sharp, so I put 6:00 for wake up (for the start of my phasing session). But I woke up earlier at 5:00 sharp, then got back to sleep again, so after the alarm clock woke me up again (at 6:00) I tried the phasing, but fell asleep first, then got out with vibrations at some point, then had this lucidventure and when I was 'back' and looked again at the alarm clock I saw that it was 8:00 ... sharp.
Time ... :whatthe:
14/Jun/2011: Stuck With "Ludmilla's" Training Sessions
14/Jun/2011
Stuck With "Ludmilla's" Training Sessions
So this is from tonight and I am up-to-date again. It's also another update on that recurring and somehow never-ending story. But maybe the story line found an end now, because I might decide to put an end to it myself.
This night I had multiple vibrationless exits (4 to 5) which normally is a reason to celebrate for me, well, normally. "Ludmilla" was present (by my initial request) and I was grabbed and hauled out all the time. When I was 'falling back' I exited again, her hands were always present, not always pleasant though.
Anyway, all was taking place mostly in darkness (no vision) for me. For the first time IIRC, I was projecting into my current flat (not the portal), too. At least it "felt" that way sometimes. I also was mostly completely lucid.
At one time I saw "her", but only a blurry picture and her figure in 'red', while she was holding me with one hand. I don't know which room it was then (portal or current home). Mostly however, when I had no vision, we were holding each other in both hands, "facing" each other.
I asked her again to talk to me. No reaction (first). I said I wanted her to speak to me or tell me where we go. No reaction. Just holding hands.
Only in the last projection (it was dark again but I 'felt' that we were in front of the window of my appartment). She almost whispered in my ear. I could not understand it, just got some fragments about "a mouth". It could have been the same voice like on April 5th (see the "it's a girl" and "personal trainer" accounts). Just a bit tuned down and now from the left instead of the right.
The voice is nice and gentle, but on the other hand it has sth 'creepy' for me to it. Maybe because I do not understand what she tells me and she also creeps me out because it is so normally "human" sounding without any dream telepathy talk. I really "hear" her. This is so waaay different from any other interaction and anything else!
Anyway, again (as on April 5th) after her first words I could not make out a meaning and snapped back into bed and was awake completely. I had enough and got up as it was early morning already.
Comments / Afterthoughts
I need a break now from these 'exercises'. I will fend off any attempts to "help" me out. Because it seems not helpful. It does not get me anywhere.
Yesterday I also saw T. Campbell talking about this on a YT video. It was about judging actions of so-called guides/helpers (which he calls the wider consciouness system) by their degree of helpfulness. That makes sense to me. I am the judge and should decide: Is it helpful at all, or not? I now start to think it isn't. It is rather disturbing and confusing.
I have, however, no fear issue and "she" is not a 'neg' for me. Also I must say that I called her in by my affirmations again the night before ("meet Ludmilla, lucid, in the portal"). All of it kind of happened. So actually, I haven't even a reason to complain.
However, it seems we don't make any progress. What could be the progress of tonight? Well, maybe I had some more exits and I was lucid and the 'exercise' is supposed to develop vision for me on "her" level where she pulls me out. But this is just my assumption, and as she does not "talk" to me, I will probably never find out!
I'll take a time-out from projections now. Had enough, fed up.
Does anyone have any advice what to 'do' with her when I resume this again (if I do at all)? You see, she is not into talking to me. I thought maybe if we hold hands again I could ask her to squeeze my left hand for a "yes" and the right for a "no", so that I could ask her y/n questions. But that is just a loose idea now.
I'm confused and a bit clueless now. :?
18/Jun/2011: How Is Johnny Smith Doing?
18/Jun/2011
How Is Johnny Smith Doing?
After a while lying on my back in my phasing session (after 3 hours of sleep), I get into 'the state' and produce the 'inner smile' (the happy thrill of anticipation, or is it even that this inner smile produces the state? At least it helps a lot!). As to be expected, Ludmilla's hands help me out. No vibrations again.
I am in the neigbouring room of my portal, which used to be the bedroom of my parents when I was a small child. I was there on a mattress. It is dark and I get lifted. I see immediately but again I just 'feel' the hands that hold me. As usual, also no talk between us and I don't even try to speak to her.
We dive down through the 'astral' floor and it gets even darker. I say I would rather prefer to go up than down. Then I am suddenly in the same room again. But this time there is sunlight.
I remember "Ludmilla" somehow 'dropping' me. For a second I tried to 'see' her as I paid attention, looking up. But I saw nothing but the room I was dropped into again. Well, almost nothing. Actually, I saw 'some ... thing': A kind of blurry distortion of the air/visuals of that room.
Do you remember the Predator Movies? What I saw, was a shape (but mostly the hands!) like this combat invisible mode that these creatures used when hunting. You can still guess a shape when it moves by distortions of the visual surroundings. Well, thank goodness I am still pretty certain that the entity I call Ludmilla is NOT one of this species. ;)
Anyway, then I go out through a little window of that room (that also exists in physical life) leading down a short part of the slanted and tiled roof. After a short hesitation, I am lucid enough to know this is not the physical and start to lift off into the air.
I fly into the city. I have the idea to ask about a childhood friend I haven't seen for many many years. Let's call him John Smith here. This name already indicates by analogy that in reality his first and last name are also both very common. So you cannot in physical life easily look him up on a phone directory or 'google' info about him if you don't have any additional current information (place of residence, job, etc). Maybe this explains my interest to try with this (unusual) method.
I get into a gas station and ask the guy there in the shop. Btw, the service station is none which I remember from physical life of my hometown. The guy tells me he knows Johnny, but does not know about his whereabouts. He also then asks one of the truck drivers outside.
In the meantime I investigate, try to focus visually (on my hands and on another of the service staff) in order to stabilise myself.
I don't know what this kind of obsession is, but my investigatory impulse always makes me grab a paper and look at it. Also this time. So I get to the newsstand but grab a cartoon / comic strip book this time (I think it was a good ol' Mickey Mouse). I look at the cover, I realise the numbers but don't remember them now (it's hopeless, give it up, Volgerle :roll:!) except for the number 2010.
I then talk to another of the staff there and somehow do a thumbs up gesture (just for fun, maybe). Then I fade out pretty quickly with PREES and do my MEMO techniques.
Comments / Afterthoughts
Not a very spectacular and enlightening lucadventure, but maybe my expectations are too high. At least I had some exercise again. Every exit is a kind of exercise (with Ludmilla anyway!), so maybe that is the best way to look at it. Still, it's a shame that I forgot about my main target, 'the fields'. But hey, next time.
It is important again to note this kind of "state of looking forward" which is vital to my exit successes. It is a kind of 'inner smile', a sweet state of knowing, this certitude that something good and exciting is going to happen again now (and it seems that it almost replaced the vibrations now).
It makes me conclude that we should never underestimate the role that emotions play in this whole thing - not just regarding what we experience, but also if we experience anything (IOW: have success) at all.
21/Jun/2011 - Multiple Exits & Energy Work In "The State"
21/Jun/2011
Multiple Exits & Energy Work In "The State"
Wow, what a night. Not necessarily regarding quality, but rather quantity of the experience. The lucidventures themselves weren't that great and so not worth a greater mention (except maybe one, see below).
I did my usual success-strategy and after a while I was "in the state" again. I could exit at will. I often "fell back" after a while. Some exits were more lucid than others, some even seemed to sink down into normal dream imagery with loss of 'some' degree of lucidity. But I got back to my body to 're-boot' ;) every time. I think I must have been out 5 times or so. Ludmilla was not present this time, but maybe I am granted my own 'solitary' sessions in-between (makes sense, doesn't it?). For exit (without helping hands) I just get up - some would call it a roll-out, but for me it is just 'getting up' - pretty profane, huh? Only then I started to fly (most of the times out of the window of my current flat).
What's interesting is that I was able while lying in bed again to do energy work in all parts of my body and even steer and control the sensations and even vibrations, and direct them to parts of the body, also running energy up and down! (I assume I 'felt' my physical body in bed, but it might have been my 'astral' body I experienced simultaneously - it is this borderland area). Wow, I repeat: I controlled the vibrations in my body! This is an enormous progress for me.
In one of the exits/lucidventures I wanted to visit a friend (not the one from above, but a current one I have contact to). I tried to teleport there. The visuals then did not fit at all as I was hovering up and down from a balcony into a backyard of an appartment building (I saw lots of laundry hung up on lines). I did not know this or how it was related to my friend's location. But I heard my friends voice. It was almost as if I was calling him via phone. There were even some distortions. Some kitchen or restaurant and some speaking child (he has a son!) sounds came from the background. He told me he was in a location which name he then told me, too. Then the connection broke off again.
Comments / Afterthoughts
I first I could not make sense of this name. Then after some research and trying to remember, I found out it is at least similar to the name of a Greek restaurant in the neighbourhood nearby in a city where he lived (and still goes sometimes as it is the next bigger city). There is also a location with the same name in the city he works. Maybe he was there for lunch/breakfast/dinner recently? (With his son?). Or somewhere else and the name is just metaporical for any location where you can eat? Or maybe he was in his own kitchen preparing a Greek dish? It was early morning when I experienced this, but hey, time is different anyway, so it does not have to be a simultaneous occurrence.
I emailed him now asking him about the location and am really curious about the answer I will get.
28/Jun/2011: Lesson On Soul Mates
28/Jun/2011
Lesson On Soul Mates
I get out (drawn by hands) and fly (or am drawn flying) through a forest. In between I look at one of my hands and have a hard time counting the fingers. I also say to myself (for lucidity stabilisation purposes) "my name is XXXX XXXX [my full name] and I am in the Astral now".
It is a dark forest and I complain that I want daylight because many of my projections are too dark. As if s.o. obeys I get onto a clearing in plain daylight.
Something here is conveyed, shown, explained to me. I see in this forest or on these fields some hedged separate sectors always with a different couple in it that is somehow (inter)acting. The areas belong to them and they also don't want to be disturbed and interfered with.
They act out some plays in different (ever switching) roles and constellations.
The lucidventure does not last very long and I get back again.
Comments / Afterthoughts
The day before, I had thought about a woman who I have not seen for many many years. I suspect she might have been sth like a soul mate and I still feel sorry that it did not somehow work for us.
Well, maybe this was shown to me now: Soul mates live out certain roles in (karmic) constellations and relationships, which also change from life to life (incarnation to incarnation). One might have to accept some acts/plays/lifes where it does or wasn't even supposed to work to come together.
It is nothing new to me, maybe just a necessary reminder. But maybe I am wrong.
Re: 28/Jun/2011: Lesson On Soul Mates
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Volgerle
It is nothing new to me, maybe just a necessary reminder. But maybe I am wrong.
Nope, sounds good to me. :D
05/Jul/2011: I Guess My Higher Self Can Be Pretty Sexy
05/Jul/2011
I Guess My Higher Self Can Be Pretty Sexy
One of my craziest paranormal days so far. Can it get crazier? I don't know. I had two experiences today. One with a 'kind of' projection (but not quite), another paranormal one in physical life that is connected to a projection I did a few days ago, on which I will report later. (And if this one is crazy now, that one will be even crazier!)
But first the (near-)projection of this night. Actually it was not a full projection, just another experience in "the state".
Moreover, this night I also had a series of possibly meaningful dreams again and I still have to peruse them in a quiet moment. Before that, I had asked my guides "Tom" and "Ludmilla" (as I call them) that one of them please appear to me in a dream and explain sth I asked them.
The reason was that I was uncertain again how to go on. I had some rather weird projections also with helping hands lately (not reported here) again, but it was so confusing and sometimes also too dream-like that I cannot even describe it in language. All in all it was very confusing and not really perceived by me as positive (but not too negative either).
So I felt stuck again and was not sure if I should go on with the "helping hands" strategy or if I should rather rely on my Higher Self to help me instead of a helper or guide. I also asked a bit for reassurance or encouragement (hey, why not, sometimes I CAN be a real mollycoddle if I want to :wacky1:).
Anyway, I got shortly in a lucid state lying there in bed, but without "normal" vision. Actually, and by applying my mindsight ability again, I felt it was the bed of my astral "portal" again where I had been in dreams before that same night, too.
I then had the idea (inspired by Monroe's great talk about reliance on the Total Self on youtube) to call out again for my Higher Self. (I did that before with an interesting result but I left it out here, maybe I also should catch up on it here, too.) Also, I should maybe add in advance here that at the moment I am single and am living (and sleeping) alone in a single flat.
So this is what happened: I affirmed 'Higher Self Now!'. All remained dark but something changed. Still, all I perceived was more by 'mindsight' than 'normal astral vision'. Suddenly, I felt a hand (or perhaps two) caressing me. There was a naked woman lying beside me :oops::tongue:. I also felt her (naked) breasts brushing slightly against my arm or shoulder or so. Wow.
And to make it clear: This was not a dreamed-up or typical astral telepathic interchange. It 'felt' physical to me. It was as physical as the voice of Ludmilla (I wrote about it in detail) that always creeps me out.
Maybe, if it really was my HS, it was the same woman with the voice I heard myself speak in one of my earliest lucidventures - which, btw, had also been absolutely 'physical' and audible 'in the room', and did not feel dream telepathic in any way.
Well, so what did I do? Grasp the opportunity for 'Astral Sex'? Well, honestly, this is not one of my set goals - and surely even less only with my(higher)self.
And since I am a chaste guy so far in the Astral :angelic: (hey, no pitiful looks, folks, I said "in the Astral") I transmitted sth telepathically to "her", a kind of ROTE, that could be verbalised as sth like 'ok, well, that's very nice, but it's not what I asked for, thanks anyway'.
Comments / Afterthoughts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajzpd-ONOdo
05/Jul/2011: Johnny Smith Reprise (I Now Know How He's Doing!)
05/Jul/2011
Johnny Smith Reprise (I Now Know How He's Doing!)
So here is part two of today's amazing ride through paranormal supernatural wonderland (in and outta body) :lol:. Maybe even some people around here will not believe me, but I SWEAR this is the truth and nothing but the truth as it happened, and exactly in this way.
As you see below, it is only 2 and a half weeks ago when I had that Johnny-Smith-lucidventure. In the Comments section I wrote "Not a very spectacular and enlightening lucadventure, ...". In retrospect, I must admit that sometimes being wrong can be so wonderful. :D
So today at around lunch time I sat at my desk at work and got a phone call. It was an outside number as the display showed me. S.o. said "Hello, do I speak to Mr. XXX [my name]?" I didn't even have to answer with 'yes', I just said his name. This guy has always had a very recognisable voice and manner of speaking.
"John!"
Unbelievable. I couldn't fathom it. My jaw dropped to the floor. However, later it dropped even lower, because at that moment I did not yet remember the projection I had 2.5 weeks ago! It dawned on me 10 minutes after our talk. I was in the men's room then (btw, a good place to ponder over things :wink:) when this occurred to me. Thank goodness, no one saw my face then!
He told me he just had the idea a few days ago (A FEW DAYS AGO !!!) to look me up on the internet (which is possible since I don't have a John-Doe-name like him). He found the website of my employer and called the switchboard there to get my extension number. I was not there on that day (last week) so he tried again today.
Despite this heavy surprise, I kept relatively calm (I have to as I work in a cubicle in a spacious office and did not want to attract too much attention with my reactions to this unusual call). After a short chat, we exchanged our cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses. We might meet soon as he does not live far away.
And yes, just as me, he no longer lives in my home town, that is maybe why I did not recognise the gasoline station and surroundings! Then, next to chatting a lot about the good old days, I will also ask him if he knows s.o. who works in that city in a garage or filling station.
After some reckoning I concluded now that I might have seen him the last time in 1994. That's 17 years.
So ... what do I make of it? Did I 'create' this now as I set the intention of finding him (and asking s.o.!) in the Astral?
Or is it all just an accident (though a very great one, as any skeptic would have to admit) that he only just and exactly right now (in 17 long years) pops up out of nowhere finding me by his own initiative, and just 2 weeks after my projection with me looking and asking for him. And he tried to find me last week already, so it's even closer to that date!
Just an accident, huh? C'mon .... HOW PROBABLE IS THAT? This is f****** crazy!
Hey, Mr R@ndi, what's your explanation?
My view of this physical reality is starting to shift again a bit further. It's a heavy shift this time.
Very very heavy.:whatthe:
