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Re: GRATITUDE LIST
-how great my skin is!
-beautiful flowers
-a great meditation
-new headphones
-healing chakra musics combined with thetas
-how open my lower chakras feel
-my notebook
-water
-a great protein rich great tasting breakfast
-coffee
-getting work done
-how toned my lower body has become by new changed actions i've taken
-using my feelings to decide i feel ready to tackle on a new limiting belief a few days early
-frankincense oil
-the rain
-feeling a sense of calmness today
-being in a better mood today
-junk food last night after feeling a little bummed out
-feeling like upcoming business trip won't be as hard to plan out as i feared
-great colored tank tops
-returning to things i loved
-how i'm changing and who i'm becoming now
-computer working great today
-great songs
-art
-a dance class i'm looking forward to this weekend
-learning
-finding something i didn't think i had yesterday
-getting bedroom getting cleaned
-felines
-appreciation
-my phone
-mason jars
-feeling acceptance and a feeling it's ok and will work out with being move on from E. I don't have really any hard feelings or resentment and not much analyzing how could this be either,but instead a trust and surrender. it's feeling easier and easier and my interest romantically feels more and more lost in a positive way
-acceptance
-life having direction now
-having a good feeling about things
-feeling back to 2013 in a sense and 2012 about tackling things here and there from a self improvement perspective that i had lost after closing up after those times
-the quiet
-embracing quiet again and remembering that when we refrain from the need to fill in the quiet with a distraction such as going on the internet,we end up instead in a pool where we get peace,insights,and then creation as old layers are shed effortlessly
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-brushed hair
-all the resistances that left while starting work on limiting belief 4 today. it was incredible. on this hot day,i spent quite a bit of time in meditation and doing the work on the next thing i wanted to clear and what came up was more on the obvious side,but also most difficult.i felt heart chakra upset during as if my heart was blocked and on fire and even cried by acknowledging who i have been. this was the first one that felt very heart chakra focused. by the time i finished all the work,i felt more attractive,like i'd just shed away layers of me that were time to be cleared and felt towards the end like i am a different person now. i am a new person. it was an interesting feeling,exciting,but also a little scary. this work i started in june is very time consuming so i know it's not something i can make as a regular part of my life,but i have time off now,and consider this my version of going away for a retreat and will call upon this type of work on a time to time basis when i feel i need some clearing work done. it's been so amazing and helpful to me but it is ALOT. the first two were like the baby steps,but these last two are more hardwired from deeper into the past and longer habits. it is very hard to confront your dark side,and be honest with yourself about who you really are. im very grateful for this path to healing that started with a breakdown in may and being drawn to a movie and then a book and then starting these processes in order of what came up first.
-water
-potatoes
-vitamins
-sauces and spices
-getting a little more on track with diet after finding out awful ingredient in a junk food i craved that made me so sick that i felt so lazy and got a stomach ache so bad i couldn't even finish a workout. i've never been the type to call certain foods as not being food or be overly health conscious but wow in this last year i really see the effects of what we put in our body and that some foods can be like drugs. and,of course,after this deep healing i did today,i find myself craving similar again. not a fan of that.
-all the symptoms of energy clearing that show me change is happening from body soreness to the heaviness of my head and getting sick and so on. i've always been one that likes when the universe shows me i'm on the right track from enjoying signs from the universe to soreness from workouts,that stuff is always great to me
-my favorite essential oils such as frankincense and lavender
-how great my skin has been looking
-how amazing my hair has been
-interesting things to read or learn
-help from bestfriend
-feeling more fearless and filled with new desires from energy clearing..things i haven't thought about doing in so long
-darkness and the peace of it when the lights are out
-the sky
-nightskies
-being braver to try new things
-laughing
-being strong in new actions to take that take a little effort
-eyeglasses
-allowing myself to just be
-these fabulous new headphones
-work inquiries
-colors
-being more slow moving as a regular part of my life,something that's been integrated for some time as a little positive habit i've changed
-being inspired now to make little new positive habits a part of my life to create massive change whereas for awhile i felt it was pointless.
-being motivated
-being brave enough to confront the emptiness,the clarity
-time being on my side
-paranormal activity from my loved one who transitioned
-calmness
-quiet
-simplicity
-summertime
-the tanness of my skin
-feeling new and a sense of aliveness,it's exciting and the most i've felt this since starting this work in june. everythings starting to feel a little more lucid and like it's unfolding and awakening. love it. it's incredibly peaceful and like a beautiful secret.
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Re: GRATITUDE LIST
-understanding it really is darkest before dawn. ever since starting this work in june,i've had some things fall apart and felt in some ways more awful about who i am but i guess that's part of "losing your mind" and last night as i tried to cut the habit associated with number 4,i felt awful and dealing with all that silence and quiet brought up awful feelings.i told myself this is natural and just part of healing and that wow,i must've really been distracted to be this upset,but still i felt awful,but i cut back and made some progress even if my mood felt low,i like to believe it was cleansing and part of spiritual detoxing and that from the fight with ex to L telling me to f---- off in the last few weeks is for my highest good and part of the cleansing,and maybe even the E stuff recently.i trust that is going to bring me closer to my heart's desires even if it feels awful at first.
-bouncing back after missing my class today and feeling acceptance about it,and like it wasn't meant to be. making pronoia my subconscious belief system is becoming so natural!
-deciding to order the pronoia book i've been wanting today
-feeling spontaneous and creative and deciding to make a vegan heart chakra cake since i had a heart chakra pan with a heart hole in the middle that to me represents open heart,like the beautiful heart chakra sensations i'd get back few years ago when my heart chakra was opening a lot then and i was surrendering deeply.i used green food extract i had lying around and added basil on top which i randomly read just last night is great for heart chakra. the cake came out beautiful the taste was on point. it feels so good to be creative in any way,so good for the soul. and to be spontaneous,too! i love it.i love my expression of self.
-coffee i had with my cake
-after strange dreams,more thoughts to ponder about the true nature of reality and it's connection to dreams
-amazing business news today and getting things started from business partner. looks like my time off is near done! she had amazing ideas and implemented the start of our new ventures today. so exciting.i must admit,it instantly changed my mood when seeing that when first waking up.
-keeping my energy soft
-after before bed thinking about some other work thing i want that would make me feel better when thinking about what do i want,what will make me happy,i randomly got an email inquiry for work. so serendiptious! today has been a great career day in both areas of my work!
i sincerely now have complete direction in my life
-things feeling easier
-all i have going for me
-all the things i want to do,and try
-being honest with myself and realizing one of the reasons things ARE so hard for me is i'm very high end with work and most things i literally cannot do,or it'd be a downgrade from where im at and not look god. it is a problem. not being negative,but honest,that being in that place where you are high on the top,but not a-list famous can have it's hardships of being able to say yes to as many things because of image,and what it'd actually do for you
-abundance
-how much abundance has increased over last few years
-perception opening to show me positive new ways of looking at old stuck things and seeing look how some things can change,even if you can't see the way yet for all of it. ease. focus on one thing at a time,make one step at a time to better yourself
-how cute the cat is staying with me. i don't know why anyone says cat's aren't submissive. these animals are just as needy and submissive as dogs,well maybe not as much but they show all the time how much they want your companionship. of course,my family always had a weird relationship with our cats,where we were very possessive of them.
-creativity. the word of the day. love it. and creation. just in so much of a mood to explore creativity and create.
-eyeglasses
-focusing on small change and progress vs beating myself up over little errors or not being able to make big changes at once. as long as the change and progress is real.
-best friend
-trying the cayenne pepper in my smoothie just a tiny amount to start and loving it. i am glad i followed my being drawn to peppers.
-ideas to better myself and life
-fans
-spiritual detoxing
-just being
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Re: GRATITUDE LIST
-accomplishing my goals today. i've done good work. i should feel happy,and i did,i felt a strong sense of calm,ease,and patience but then shortly after just having movement brought up more things and made me sad.i know this is natural. the last two beliefs i've been clearing are thick ones and it's like when i first moved to my own apartment,and i had a ton of stuff to go through from years and years ago and it took months to do,and it brought up all this old stuff that i'd end up having very bad panic attacks and extreme mood swings and anger. in the last two years,in finally looking at things differently,it just means it's time to let some things unravel and heal and it's a lot of confusion.
-the bed
-seeing the matting come right off shortly after getting the rake brush and starting to work on cat's fur. it made me happy.i set the intention i'd get it off and so easily it started to,though there's more to do still,i can tell it's loosening.
-the sun and how healing it is
-fans
-the cool information i learned about cats last night
-carrot juice and how healing it is
-water
-going for a wonderful walk in my favorite park and how delightful it was
-how good it feels to be alone at times
-flowers
-beauty
-my eyes and the ability to see
-rompers
-my energy changing
-being able to explore my creativity and do cool things
-things seeming easier now and not so hard or out of reach. it's like new knots i'd been wanting to unravel finally starting to
-having faith that all that i'm going through is going to bring me to a better place,because right now it just hurts like hell. ever since the fourth limiting block i've had,i've had so much sadness on and off,and frustration. the 3rd block started with the feelings of frustration and the fourth was very intense. i noticed in my meditation yesterday that the 3rd seems to very throat chakra focused and this last one is very heart chakra. it's like the first two things were the tip of the iceberg,the out layer easier things and these last two are really cutting into things to change me in a way that will be very noticeable.i feel so very lost,more then i ever have with these changes i have to make and am making but i'm telling myself to be easy on myself and make little steps and it's ok to make mistakes too vs trying to make huge all at once changes that won't last and won't be real. you have to get lost to find yourself sometimes. i thought when i started this,i'd just feel amazing and all would be great,and amazing things would fall into place,but instead i felt amazing but nothing too much changed on the outside,just small little flickers of things and then i did more work,and feel worse,i guess pruning away deep because the things i desire perhaps cannot come in the best way without me really changing on the inside,and if it did come it'd just end up not being so great because i'd have the same issues,because you can't run away from yourself..not matter what you desire or where you want to go,you still bring yourself with.i feel scared of how soft i'm becoming,how vulnerable it is.
-getting some mango vegan frozen yogurt with sprinkles today from a shop i'd never been to by the park
-my best friend and how giving he is
-business partner being so ontop of it and starting all these new things
-awareness and noticing all these symptoms of my energy shifting from itchy scalp,weird mood swings,weird food cravings,more intense dreams and so on. I must say,i see even more now why to take this process very slow. my altering it to do a little more has given me more to take on and is why doing these processes will not be a regular thing for me,but an occasional thing to clear as if someone were going on a healing retreat.i think i will be stopping after the full process of the fourth belief is done. Then,in six months or a year or whenever i feel i need a spiritual cleansing,come back. I cannot even imagine how great my fall will be as this new me.
-how great my skin is looking
-weight going down from how big i got in late june from this healing work that made me eat more then crave bad foods
-vegan food
-all the fun things there are to do and explore
-my meditation i did last night
-being comfortable going shopping again last night
-openness
-seeing things work out when you surrender,and let go of how you think things should go
-fascination with life
-cats
-getting clean with my diet again
-feeling my feelings
-being patient with myself and strong
-the actions i've been taking to go with the limiting block clearing
-noticing how for real i am changing
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-stylish chill out music that makes me feel feelings of wanderlust,and ready for new and that has spiritual undertones to it. love that spirituality, like art,is everywhere
-vegan chocolate
-hot tea
-inspiration
-taking me time
-face massage and scalp massage
-reminding myself who i want to be
-signs
-adjusting to the bedroom and embracing it and the brilliant idea i have about living room that would make me so happy and accomplish several things i've wanted. it feels so good to be me,to be a nonconformist and eccentric type.i never set out to be this either,it just happened. getting excited and emailing inspiration links and pics about my idea
-my bed
-minimalism
-darkness
-how peaceful it is right now
-exotic things like ideas,food,concepts,sounds and so on.
-nightskies
-sportsbras
-my hair
-being easy on myself for up and down moodiness and knowing it's just a spiritual cleansing and things will get adjusted as i detox and my new life is being rearranged
-pronoia becoming more and more my natural subconscious and conscious thinking
-bohemianism and how good life feels when you strip away society's limits on you,and how reality ends up being and changing to that!
-interesting dreams to reflect on
-reflecting on life in the last few years and life while living here and what it'll be like in the new apartment and how it'll change
-my beautiful transitioned loved one and how around she seems to have been. i was upset and emotional tonight and best friend pointed out there was a ladybug right by me or on me(don't remember) and said it was her. it felt like a moment. a profound moment
-the cat im caring for sleeping with me last night and how cute that was
-finding out the info i wanted today and making a decision on that
-finding out stuff can start being moved in two days earlier then agreed
-having a goal/a vision for myself to focus on for the next bit of time that is my solace through the pain of how i let this year not be the best because of E.
-cool events out there and things to do that are just my style
-knowing i'm changing and becoming new and how amazing that feels
-surrender
-softness
-life starting to finally feel different and starting to have an authentic vision of who i'm becoming
-potatoes. so good. my favorite food and so healthy
-letting go of how i think life should go,and letting what's best for me manifest
-getting a little work done today,even if not as much as i wanted. i trust all is well. wow,it's getting so much better,and better to trust authentically that it's all good and will all work and pronoia. love it.
-carrot juice
-art
-spirituality
-style
-stretches
-beauty
-my interests and things i love
-being a woman
-beauty in the breakdown and the beauty of transformation
-dejavu feelings i've been getting
-instagram-
-the continuous feelings i get of something good is about to happen
-freedom
-having only about 3 more weeks until the inner work processes are complete!
-knowing cool and interesting people and living an interesting life
-mercy
-not making a big deal about things,after all,life is not a big deal. it's just a game,a game of stories we are playing out!
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-felines
-beautiful music
-random surges of happiness,just from being
-my creativity with making another fantastic random cake with ingredients in the house this using a half bar of vegan chocolate,cayenne pepper,andvegan marshmallows and how amazing it tasted and how fun it is to use intuition,spontaneity and what's in the house. it's art!
-colors
-going with the flow
-feeling drawn towards the color yellow lately
-the sun
-great weather today
-going tanning today
-making great improvements in limiting block 3 even if not perfect with it. it's a huge block and i know i'll achieve my goal and am making progress
-being a new me
-my bed
-spending time in the bedroom
-mercy
-getting card needed for business trip
-hair clips
-yoga and how great it makes me feel
-finally getting a shipping notice on item i had ordered
-healing massage
-figuring out the right ingredients i want for my moving ritual that i don't HAVE to do,it's not needed,i just want to
-tea
-my creativity
-feeling more feminine just by working on and clearing recent blocks
-feeling new sense of normality with new changes as if i've made progress towards bettering myself even if it's just a tiny thing
-getting better and better with trusting life in all moments and pronoia being my subconscious belief.i love it so much.i'm seeing it at work in so many little things where i just feel calmer and go with the flow and believing divine has better for me when one little stall happens for example
-cleaning bedroom and working on throwing more things out again
-potatoes,my favorite. so good!
-weight being back to normal. so grateful
-being at a relaxed mode of accomplishing and becoming new knowing to clear the last two blocks,it has to be natural to be real
-all the simple pleasures in life
-people out of the blue reaching out to me to ask how am i
-a random request on a social media site from a friend who knows E,in fact,we all three met that same weekend and hung out and it was so great. so odd he requested me actually. though,that site particularly i believe adds sometimes anyone in email contacts and we did email before however even still it is odd. we had stopped speaking for reasons and E had told me he only hung out with him like twice
-life's stories and how interesting they are
-appreciation and my love of art and creation and things interesting..even asking a friend to turn a song up for a few seconds because the beat was so interesting to me. it's interesting i never used to be a sound and music person growing up until my spiritual awakening.i used to be more of a movies/film person. love how life changes us. or,like how i used to be someone who couldn't eat anything spicy and liked very mild and now i love spicy foods. it's amazing to me how much people transform.
-how much life has blossomed and bloomed .i can feel things unfolding and the true nature of reality permeating my cells
-calmness
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Re: GRATITUDE LIST
where i'm at right now
-had a breakdown today and had the scissors by me to cut myself after the pain. things go wrong,and it is so so unbelievably hard to get past the third limiting block. already in last few days,i broke it at least twice. i mean,on a day to day basis i'm doing better and being aware,keeping it in my head what to do,but when something goes wrong,i don't stick to it and feel awful. but isn't it normal to have ugly fights with people where you criticize them? i am so lost. the first two limiting blocks were such easy baby steps and i've kept up with so easily but these 3 and 4 are so much harder that it overwhelms me especially with how hectic life is at the moment but there's no going back either with it being revealed to me to clear them create more of what i desire. the good side is,with limiting block 1 i'd cleared came in with pronoia being my natural new subconscious backer as i seen what sent me spiraling down as perhaps happening to create so and so thing i went and did.i just hated being backtracked with how nervous i am and how hectic things are. it made me crazy but on the money front,it really made sense seeing that i wasn't in alignment with one form of money,and this perhaps happened to get me on track sooner with something i wanted anyways. pronoia is the way. surrendering to seeing my being backtracked and not getting what i wanted happened for a reason. and pronoia helped me yesterday,too.
-after someone picked up the wrong item for me yesterday which made so little sense that they clearly didn't listen to me at all that it hurt,and i went back to limiting block number 3,i later o nrealized that the final things picked up actually were perfect after they went back and got the different items and i had the extra item picked up.i had wanted these certain items,they thought from not listening i wanted something i said before but changed my mind on,i ended up getting an extra item that was perfect because that place didn't have the wrong item they seeked and shop owner suggested them something else they chose,and an even better version of another item also got picked up at another place.i had been fearful of snakes lately worrying about them showing up and the first random thing not on my list that they got instead apparently repels them they didnt know this and i googled it and found that out,that that's a primary purpose of that herb and cats love the herb too! so i can now feel more content with my paranoia because by pronoia i have something i didnt ask for that repels them. then,i got the items i did ask for to do the ritual iwanted and i even got a better version of the tea i had asked for,which had vanilla in it as well,and is in a pretty packaging and pretty tea bags that are unique. so i burned the first incense and then later did my first day of the ritual which just felt so perfect with the items i had and how i decided to do it.i used unlock incense and brought out transitioned loved one's picture,and drank the dandelion tea,and blew bubbles and wrote my positive intentions for blessings and a clear path for me and several others for moving to new place. it was my moving ritual i did and it was just perfect and it made me feel much better and more secure about moving after i did it. the universe is so funny and surrender and pronoia is so amazing.
-seeing how easy it is to change your reality by tweaking certain things to change patterns and this is so much easier then positive thinking your life away
-my clothes feeling looser despite not getting in a workout for two days
-tank tops and camisoles
-deciding that a spiritual goal of mine is to focus more on the body since i've usually not done that and focus more on energy. from what i've learned lately,so much energy is stored and memorized in the body and it seems a great way to become more grounded and clear resistances and create change is to focus more on the body such as with massage,and physical exercise,yoga,etc
-accepting logic and painful truth of others and being ok with it
-being able to eat my favorite foods and not gain weight
-potatoes
-doing some work yesterday on new project
-my bed
-deciding to cancel meetups this weekend to focus on moving and since i wasnt feeling in alignment with going
-hearing my dress arrived today
-that i get to start moving in two days
-music
-art
-chill out time
-openness
-ease
-my beauty
-my creativity
-my expression of self
-having a goal to focus my pain on as a release from it,and solace
-that i can get rid of the big couch to create the living room i want
-cats
-water
-spirituality
-the elements
-entertainment
-the internet
-my eyebrows
-my hair
-feeling more brave in some ways
-feeling ready to walk towards some things i had stepped away from for awhile
-taking honest look at my darkness so i can grow
-seeing i have changed and am changing since the june work,in the little things i am different and am seeing results here and there
-seeing things to take care of to work on and get done so i can be better
-sleep
-night skies
-hair clips
-massage
-seeing beauty in the breakdown
-becoming more and more of who i really am
-that i will now own less things once i move and embrace even more minimalism and how great that feels
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Re: GRATITUDE LIST
-taking a harsh,logical look at something the other day which aided in letting go and being ok with it. i guess my sense coming to me.
-the wonderful dandelion tea
-my moving ritual
-summertime style
-sounds of the outside such as birds,crickets,trains,and so on. love it. so peaceful.
-interesting information i came across about the body and spirit connection
-vegan pizza
-that i am changing and transforming
-my mom's phone being back on
-tank tops and camisoles
-ideas to help with goals
-art and creation
-surrendering to timing and feeling no rush
-all the wonderful external changes being made as well
-release. my power word of the day/week/month however long i use it.
-instagram
-books
-water
-getting back on track with some things getting done
-an amazing talented business partner
-shorts have been fitting looser consistently!
-patience
-my hair
-my skin
-my face
-my beauty
-my courage
-spirituality
-healing
-detox and seeing possible symptoms of my body detoxing spirtually
-hope
-calmness
-seeing big dreams that seemed a far off possibility now being something that can happen reasonably soon
-doing my meditation today and how good it felt
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Re: GRATITUDE LIST
somehow keep having not enough time to exercise.i will have to get my time management skills back on track soon.
-after another upset,having a breakthrough come through,it's actually been several of these lately so i think it's connected to the block work i've been doing. this time,it came to me that i do not have ------- because if i did,how did i do those super fearless things most people even without that,wouldn't be able to do.i can do certain things,in fact,i just have several other,more manageable blocks that get in the way and do not have that. and,by believing i do any longer,just keeps me in fact crippled. i believe all these years i've managed to make my situation worse by terming it,and the proof showed me i'm not just amazingly brave,though i am brave,i just not have that particular issue,and thinking i do or believing it,was a block. it must've been associated with 3&4. it's so funny,i so naturally just said i had this,as it was a truth,and it explained things,but damn it just made things worse,and now taking a honest look at me,it's not serving me. so nice to free myself from that. it honestly reminds me of that tony robbins video of curing the guy with the stutter in under 10 minutes of whatever it was. clearing any block,can be done right away,unless your blocking the block which i do admit i've been doing a bit of for 3&4 because of overwhelment. to heal a block is a matter of epiphany or an emotional healing. that's all it is. when you truly have the epiphany or truly heal the emotional thing related,you heal the problem and transform!
-in my hard look at myself being able to admit something i couldn't see before to someone
-the breakthroughs coming from the breakdowns
-my book coming in the mail today
-getting thing removed that i accidentally got signed up for which angered me
-seeing super amazing ticket deals that were jaw dropping and miraculous. this pronoia stuff is becoming more and more common..i've not seen deals that good in years
-being easy on myself
-doing some writing in my notebook about who i am becoming and what i am changing into and things to do
-water
-getting kitchen cleaned
-mercy
-empathy
-believing in and trusting who i'm becoming
-the possibilities feeling expanded and nearer to me then ever
-fashion
-lace
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Re: GRATITUDE LIST
-changing my mind about trip decision and knowing i made the right decision because i felt so excited for so much longer then previous decision and feel this is heart decision whereas before was an ego decison
-vegan food
-getting whitebedsheets for the mattress
-acceptance
-being easy on myself
-inspiration
-colors
-my style
-how friendly the neighbors have been and that i'll actually miss them and this apartment. this apartment really was quite lovely,my favorite apartment so far.
-getting shopping done today
-how beautiful the sky was today at night and the moon
-pronoia and seeing more and more how much the universe is really on my side,and little wow things keep happening and things that just seem so supportive and friendly from life
-how cool looking the little block and side of apartment looks in new place. i love the hill and being right by the train and the sounds of the train and just how cool that little area looks and want to take a picture of the train and hill as it looks photographically cool
-how beautiful i am
-my hair
-my face
-my body
-soda pop
-summertime
-mercy
-acknoweldgement
-relaxing
-getting things moved into new apartment
-water
-pushing myself to become free and not overthink