GRATITUDE LIST

-a nice vegan dinner of chili and potatoes with crackers.
-water
-mason jars
-seeing i can be alone at night now even at the later hours and probably overnight and be fine after best friend's stunts and starting to see the enjoyment of it again
-inspiring loa videos and passages online that i came across tonight
-inspiring thing online made me see if there's something in your life undesirable even if it doesn't seem directly connected,perse,what could it tell me about a limiting belief i have that is creating this reality of mine
-remembering a lot lately that the world is a mirror
-more info online backing subjective reality which made me feel so good
-my phone
-after best friend doing what he did,that he agreed to take me to a cafe i wanted to check out in my neighborhood and get some macarons
-getting groceries today
-getting my hair color fixed finally and how good it made me feel
-getting baileys which is a nice wintery-christmasy drink and having a little bit with my macarons in my room. some christmas cheer of my own!
-my phone charger
-positive,high vibe forums and websites/info i come across that always gets me back on track
-my mom being there for me again.i really wanted to give her a day off but at least today i compromised and challenged myself too since it seems i have too based on how people are being
-getting some sleep
-ear feeling better now
-having a good heart
-L finally texting me back after i posted i was at cafe which seems like he did it out of jealousy and then he ignored me again after asking questions so i don't know what is going on with him but he is ignoring me now and said i blew him off today.
-my innocence
-best friend asking where his stuffed animal fish i got him years ago was as the very first thing he said when he got in the house. it was literally the very first thing. that showed something. i had put it away last night so dog couldn't reach it and ruin it as that would've broke my heart since it's one of the few momentos i think he even still has of me and that's the first thing he notices when he walks in the house and asks about.
-being smart
-schedule starting to get lighter and more manageable now and seeing when i can fit in my medical appointment i want to do.
-knowing i'm stronger then ithink.i may come off whiny,and feminine and dainty,etc and have been through a lot but i always win and have overcome so much
-weather outside being warmer today
-watching some old episodes with my mom of my favorite childhood tv show that she liked too last night and learning TV does help distract me when i have to be alone
-having a laundry machines in the unit and how convenient that makes life now
-getting little signs from best friend that he hasn't completely lost his mind and still has care for me and maybe even feelings still. in an anger in the grocery store,he even mentioned how much he wants to achieve certain things and how it's my fault he hasn't blah blah blah that were goals he didn't even want at first and that i had suggested to him some time ago that he little by little realized were good goals to have. I have influence over him still and that's vital for me to see right now. I truly think he has become so wounded by me but other signs too including him randomly seeing a little boy and father telling the boy to walk to him and telling me see,he's trying to give me tough love like the father to the boy. I have no idea what that meant,but it showed again he does have care still,he's just very very lost and wounded and i've come to realize that i need to be very patient with him and love him still. the majority of the pictures in his phone are even of my cat,again another thing showing i'm important to him. that was MY cat and it means something to me that he so many pictures of her in his phone. i'm just grateful to be seeing signs he still loves me and i still matter.
-reminding myself to love myself no matter what is going on right now
-my conviction
-remembering no matter how bad things seem to remember to have faith and that things like that could just be tests and you never what something could lead to so just trust all is working in your favor
-affirmations with the words i believe. so powerful.
-remaining dedicated to retraining my mind
-listening to some root chakra music and how amazing it is to listen to headphones again
-not even having a desire to check tarot anymore as it's so fake and silly
-my bed
-my bedroom
-surrendering a little bit since it seems that might be vital
-soothing myself after my nightmare by knowing why it happened and reassurances from best friend
-that my book will be in the mail soon
-that awesome affirming line from bashar in the video tonight that felt like a good omen
-knowing i can now wash.condition,and color my hair and it's safe for my ear. i'm almost all caught up with normal things and then off to getting really caught up on work and social things and so on
-my desire spring forth to really get out there again and make things happen and feel good and show everyone how wrong they were to treat me awful. success will be the best revenge.
-the new vegan coffee that caught my eye that i bought to try this week

-potatoes
-my favorite indian food sauce
-miracles
-the power of positivity. it may not work right away i noticed, but it DOES work.
-best friend calming down with me and being the calmest i've seen him since this 3 weeks
-having an amazing landlord who was so helpful and went above and beyond to be smart yet reassuring after something weird at my apartment today that made me uncomfortable
-being a caring person
-getting to talk and express my feelings to best friend and be honest
-my mom spending time with me after getting scared
-feeling really good about this apartment and like i'd even consider renewing my lease here
-getting a new hairstylist who is interested since the one i had seems to have lost interest
-how much better i look now that i fixed my haircolor. my face looks younger and more attractive now.
-deciding starting tomorrow after all this negativity to shut the door about talking about these problems with best friend to others as i know in my heart it's only made it worse that we made things public and the venting. really wish that never happened.
-the little independent things i've done and learned in the last week or two from spending time with my mom and getting settled
-best friend looking excited when i first made talk with him before the evening about how i wanted to work things out
-how healing last night was after doing some spiritual work on clearing some limiting beliefs,reflecting,and chakra music and inspiring videos. i felt soo good. and all day my ear felt normal despite stress and my chest wasn't too bad.
-mercy
-feeling calm and reassured about things finally
-sodas
-pastries for breakfast i love
-getting my book in the mail
-reassurances
-seeing moms cat again and being able to give him some affection
-self forgiveness
-how blessed i am
-my desires
-progress

-getting my life back
-baileys my favorite alcohol which reminds me of fun,winter,and holiday
-music
-getting a hairstylist confirmed and being able to send out a time to team
-staying determined in my positivity
-going tanning today
-getting more money sent to my new account
-mom staying on phone with me
-best friend somewhat sticking to our agreement
-best friends father sending a voice mail that actually seemed to work in my favor last night
-best friends mom texting me today
-feeling stronger and optimistic about the future
-how great my book is so far. much better then my last book
-how much more attractive i feel now that my hair color is fixed
-feeling in such a good mood right. it's like i'm almost in the vortex
-finding fun things i want to do this weekend and rsvping something fun for this weekend. so nice to feel ready to go out
-things starting to just go a little bit more in my favor
-finding some safety apps to download that i liked
-feeling how good life can be again
-that christmas is almost over
-starting to feel calmer on some things
-my conviction
-sticking to my end of things when making a deal
-how great it is to have a laundry room in my building
-getting through today and now tonight. was on edge after weird incident yesterday so it's nice to have had some time pass from that
-believing in myself
-being different.
-comfort
-my bed
-blankets
-how great january will be
-dancing
-feeling prettier again
-feeling more accomplished again
-best friend's reiki
-becoming smarter,better
-keeping my heart
-my phone
-my computer
-my phone charger
-internet
-learning some new things
-that best friend is here
-hope
-healing and my vibe raising
-a pretty warm winter
-feeling more abundant
-having amazing landlords

-God keeping me safe and healthy
-best friend's parents giving me some kind of solace and help right now
-my mom calling me when i felt really low
-my mom still being able to give me the ride tomorrow
-water
-deciding it's time to start appreciating dejavu again like i used to since that's a more positive interpretation and all of life is how we percieve i
-dejavu while with my brother last night and how weird it was us both not celebrating christmas while everyone was out and some of the parallells going on
-best friend finally texting
-lights
-l texting me last night
-online forums seeming to be extra active today and yesterday which is nice and getting some advice and encouragement to consider
-seeing how the world is a mirror even shows up my OWN resistances and to not take things showing up that i disagree with as bad signs but instead of my own resistances being spotlightd to me. so grateful for that lesson i learned in summer of 2014 that really hit home for me and has been a game changer ever since it made sense
-my phone
-my brother's cat and the love from him
-models with my kind of teeth which makes me feel confident and inspired
-my job time being confirmed last night
-knowing i'm a winner and a warrior and i will get through this and overcome it and come out the champion
-pictures
-art
-R emailing me last night. he wanted to say happy holidays. it was nice.
-that at least i have my own bank account now
-downloading lyft app and it being easy to use and having a lot of free credits
-sleep
-that christmas is almost over
-how forward looking i am to january
-realizing i just spent the whole day and night here alone and this is the longest i spent here alone since i moved here.

-that i am safe
-that i am healthy
-reiki sent to me today making me feel good
-my own good energy of two hours of retraining my mind and how it put me in a very good mood after
-a little progress from best friend
-after deciding i must detach from this drama,so far doing pretty good with letting it all go in my mind
-that christmas is over
-my special pink bracelet that is meaningful to me
-my mom stopping by and letting me call her every so often
-catching up on sleep today
-getting some macarons from local place
-water
-baileys to relax me
-getting a little independent from things i've had to do lately
-getting the lyft app on my phone and how easy it is to use and the free credits
-subliminal recording of feeling safe that i listened to and calmed me earlier
-being the better person
-my kind heart
-interesting spiritual epiphanies about having a limiting belief of predestiny i had and the interesting reflections on how it does seem we constantly shift realities and meet different versions of people in our life and how eerie but also beneficial is
-l to text me
-making it past midnight now and doing ok
-my ability to be stronger then ieven want to be
-my conviction
-my intelligence
-feeling more beautiful and attractive and lately
-my phone
-my laptop
-sodas
-clarity coming to me
-getting some physical exercise in
-how clear the air felt tonight while in my good mood. one of my more interesting reflections on good vibes vs bad. good vibes always make the air seem clearer and things feel calm and fine
-my rain boots
-that this awful month is almost over
-that soon this night will be over
-how much better i am getting and how much those who hurt me and my haters are making me better and stronger
-all the reflections lately to make me better
-my little manifesting success stories like getting l to say he loves me twice now and he hardly knows me!,getting the drama to simmer down just a bit,and feeling more attractive. they are small but very inspiring
-how well i know my neighborhood and how nice it is to have that experience from living in the area for two years now
-my coat
-being able to laugh at myself
-my job to look forward to the first week of january
-my skills
-my orange calcite rock

-best friend's father coming by when i had a panic
-a nice meditation session i had after feeling drawn to do it that made me feel calm
-feeling prettier
-l to text,and the nice things he says like that he thinks i need a bf and someone to be there for me and he wants to be that
-finding my eyeglasses the other day
-my mom coming by earlier
-getting my errands done i wanted today
-best friend agreeing to meditate for 5 minutes
-water
-writing a letter to best friend last night speaking from the heart
-the amazing logical email i sent a few days ago
-gratitude lists
-the ecard i sent
-the short email i sent last night
-all the fire and motivation i have to accomplish all these new goals and become better
-my job i have confirmed for the first week of january
-remembering all my amazing accomplishments and amazing resume i have going for me
-knowing i will win
-mercury retrograde coming up which will work in my favor
-making a nice protein rich dinner i couldn't even finish
-getting a good workout in
-my style
-how beautiful my hair is
-my bed
-my phone
-blankets
-my laptop
-chargers
-having mail in my name here at my apartment now and how great that feels
-lipbalm
-balancing my heart chakra with music tonight
-a dream about E which allowed me to dream a bit and wonder which was nice. remembering that amazing kiss
-deciding to get that wall decal i wanted even before i moved here that i had planned on getting for the place
-getting started on my new year's resolutions last night
-getting a lot done last night
-being able to at least see how i'm creating my reality with my thoughts and focus even if it seems difficult to change and like everything is static.i think doing regular meditation will help.
-being able to see clearly the spiritual connection to best friend and how he clearly is my soul counterpart
-being inspired by others i know to be better
-wanting to be better so i can inspire others

-deciding to be more loving to myself
-making myself a nice large mostly vegan dinner with wine
-deciding and getting done a first draft for an article i am going to write which is one of my new year's resolutions and feeling pretty good about it
-sleeping good today
-feeling more detached and how good space is starting to feel
-that R is almost out of the picture and that someone more divine will fill her place in the perfect time
-my job coming up
-getting a little reading done
-best friend coming home today even though weather was bad
-getting outside for a bit and taking some cool winter pics to post for social media that i liked a lot
-drinking a nice mason jar of water upon waking to start my day right
-having a cup of coffee today to keep slowly easing my way back into having coffee again
-great ideas to shift my situation from loa forums
-that i got through the day of this storm and almost the night
-best friend sending reiki for me
-getting best friend to send my mom a happy birthday text
-my phone
-my phone charger
-relaxing about some things
-a nice meditation i did last night which helped me to see things calmly and feel a sense of truth about the future. not an overexaggerated good,and nothing bad,but similar to normal and how great that felt
-deciding to stop watching TV despite practically everyone's advice since i actually see a direct manifestation from watching a TV show a few times while here. that show made me more emotional and thinking sad type thoughts and sure enough then i manifested my one friend getting her rings just like on that show which is too weird,and NOT a coincidence. If that's not obvious indicator that nothing is predestined and that thoughts create everything,then i don't know what is. It actually makes me feel a lot better to see that.
-seeing how outside's peoples opinions have made me not see clearly and made the situation more negative based on their own thoughts..or should i say me being affected by their thoughts
-business partner saying by next week she should be ready to buy the website thing we are doing
-that i'm getting stronger
-that i was in a good mood the other night for a good few hours
-being safe
-living in a nice apartment that feels a little bit like a sense of community here
-being more logical and more fear becoming eradicated
-my goals
-my things that make me happy
-remembering my strengths
-calming down about some things
-getting better at acknowledging limiting beliefs
-believing in myself more

-that panic attack subliminal i started three days ago. have drastically cut down on how much i check on things for safety and not really any panic attacks about safety since i started
-water
-the speaking affirmations sessions i started doing about a day or two ago. have had some manifesting success and improved moods since starting it and feel like my mind has retrained quite a bit. it's interesting. a lot of loa people say repetition is key,maybe they are right.i never thought of affirmations as retraining my brain before
-seeing another sign R is almost out the of picture last night. a very similar occurence to last week.
-that best friend came home last night
-that best friend hugged me last night
-my phone
-my phone charger
-clearing the psychic attack and seeing two things so far from my efforts for sure including an appliance making a noise that stopped right after i thought it was her doing(not serious about it though) and said she has no power over and now an old job seeming to fall through coming back in the picture
-that best friend has been nicer to me this week
-that best friend has said schedule changed this week and last multiple times and i heard him say it on phone too and his dad said it
-reassurance from best friend last night
-sleeping all day and my cold being relatively mild
-my eyeglasses
-rose oil
-cayenne pepper
-my manifesting success stories from the last week or two
-little positive things i've found to help me change my vibration
-getting my crown chakra balanced
-my ear feeling healed
-getting another follow up job email,too
-seeing certain things to prove to me the importance of how reality is not predestined and seeing how reality is created by our thoughts
-tissues
-my energy softening up more
-my desire to surrender
-transmuting the energy of this apartment
-my voice and the ability to talk
-lipbalms
-that a new month is near
-my bed
-my diet being more plant based again
-embracing things and realizing things can be transmuted and that everything is law of attraction.
-my ability to see. my eyesight
-my conviction
-forgiveness
-colors

-my cold only being minor
-music
-sleep
-that this year is almost over
-feeling safe
-panic attack subliminals i've been doing and how effective they've been
-being a woman
-a flash of inspiration in the middle of the night to get my best friend a gift and getting help to go and get and get it. friend's dad even helped pay for it. friend seemed really touched by the gesture and it seemed to make things a little better between us.
-my thoughtful,romantic side
-the perfect balloon i found
-best friend hugging me again today
-best friend confiding in me a little again today
-best friend's dad being so inspired by me that he gave me a gift of $50 cash which was interesting and very unexpected and helpful since i'm not currently making any money and also because i did a round of speaking affirmations and included money in them last night. was interesting to see what following flash of inspiration does and the power of being giving.
-best friend knowing his dad brought me because he asked how i got to stores which proved to him look i even had him bring me and he knows i don't like his dad which proved to him something too.
-seeing best friend being a little nicer to me lately
-sending new year's eve ecards to brother and best friend
-l texting me though i got so mad after him ignoring me that i was rude
-sleep
-getting out of the house today
-sodas
-finding out there's subliminal mobile apps
-awesome,helpful reflections
-feeling motivated and confident
-seeing loa success stories of mine from past week or so
-law of attraction forums and sites to help me get back on track
-hoodies and sweaters
-being so loving
-best friend coming home last night
-best friend sending reiki last night for my core fear
-seeing progress and movement with situation with R and best friend changing to my favor.
-being a great,thoughtful gift giver
-my phone
-my caring heart
-being helpful
-staying strong
-that things are always working out for me
-being classy
-my femininity
-blankets
-cleaning up the bedroom a little bit
-keeping my faith
-remembering progress not perfection
-remembering after all the mess created over the months,to be patient and grateful for what little has been cleaned up so far
-my child-like side
-my conviction
-my best friend
-my intelligence
-having a good heart
-always winning
-mercy

-meditating. meditating is what put me on my path to becoming a happy person in the first place and set me on my spiritual journey. had a nice real meditation session where i emptied my mind and left the session calmer and feeling more uplifted and having had manifested texts i was waiting for. i also got clarity that all is well and healing is coming. if one meditates,they do probably do not need to "detach" as it happens naturally.
-getting my wall decal in the mail today
-surrendering after the painful last night and coming up with my plan and then sleeping sort of peacefully. it was a weird,nice feeling.i also did get an inner feeling that everything would be ok after i got very hurt and upset
-writing that email before bed
-getting the texts and email with confirmation on job details tomorrow. so excited that all is set
-lower body exercises i love and that have already made my lower body more toned as that is one of my big goals this year
-rewriting my subconscious a good amount by starting speaking affirmations
-panic attack subliminals i've been doing which have helped
-feeling safe in my apartment now
-being pursued by l even though he's a jerk,there's some kind of feeling there i kind of like
-lipbalms
-water
-sodas
-being classy
-being high end
-my goals
-remembering my accomplishments
-my personality
-all the things i feel i can do this year
-finding out landlord is out of town until tuesday skiing which gives more time for roommate to pay the rent which seems like a possible manifestation of his actually
-being feminine
-my child-like side
-loving myself more
-all my little manifesting success stories in the last week or so.i even seemed to manifest my cold going away practically instantly
-upstairs neighbors seeming to be home a lot
-style
-people who are cool
-my conviction
-being loving
-my eyeglasses
-getting my room cleaned a little bit more today
-my wisdom and maturity
-phobias and fears being cleared a good amount and transmuting the energy of this apartment
-remembering i create my reality
-remembering all my success stories and the power of meditation and that time i first came upon it
-my vitamins which make me feel great
-having a nice body
-seeing perspective on things last night
-my beliefs becoming more clear and moving into an inner knowing
-the power i have to change the energy of things
-scalp massage
-detaching from texting best friend after last night and not texting all day which is unlike me and not responding and seeing he still came
-feeling ambitious
-knowing things will heal and fix
-my beautiful apartment
-cool picture on my phone i like
-my book i've been reading
-being healthy
-being slim
-being smart
-my strength
-my desire to be solution focused and change
-my heart's desires
-that things are moving even if slowly
-that i always win
-positive and fun possibilities
-cool art
-being the better person
-all that i have to offer the world
-mercy
-my subconscious expectations changing to more positive
-frankincense oil,my favorite
-clearing negative energies