Beekeeper's Adventures in Consciousness

10^th December, 2011.
Saturday.

“Knowledge download”
Earlier dream involved a computer. I was learning things but I don’t know what.

“Sydney Beach”
Paul and Trish want us to travel to a Sydney beach with them. I’m not keen because, in the dream context, I have a period but Trish assures me we can do yoga on the beach.

I don’t know what happens at the beach.

We are returning in a vehicle and I see Jay Jay, A and R’s dog, sitting atop a signpost. I mistake the dog for Paul and Trish’s dog, Ally, that died last year. Ally is a totally different breed to Jay Jay, though both are small dogs.

Back at home, Paul is lying on our(?) lounge and attempting to tickle me(?) with his feet. There’s a sense that some kind of evil has infected him and his son as well as a result of the trip to Sydney.

Notes: Today we dropped by to see Paul and Trish. They are moving to Sydney (but coming home during school breaks). Their son Sean had confided this to me before the dream but today we found out why: Sean has been accepted as a regular on television entertainment programme that used to be big back in the day and is being revived. He auditioned just for the experience and because his girlfriend was auditioning and was actually one of the ten kids selected from 30,000! This is amazing news but, because I love Seanie like a nephew, I’m also a little worried in case showbiz damages him, which explains the anxiety in the last bit of the dream.

Interestingly, G asked them if they’d be swimming at a particular beach now they’ll be living where they’ll be living (I hadn’t mentioned my dream to him). It occurred to me as part of my marveling over how things that are destined come together that it might be just as well their dog died last year because they’ll be living in a small unit in Sydney and they may have has to find her a new home. Certainly she wouldn’t have been able to wander the streets as she did around here.

11^th December, 2011.
Sunday.

There’s something about be a prisoner of war. It feels recurring. Can’t remember details.

12^th December, 2011.
Monday
“Synching a Video”
I receive a video and place it in some kind of player – probably my computer. Initially the sound and vision won’t co-ordinate and I’m trying to rectify this. G keeps talking to me so it’s hard to concentrate on what I’m doing. During the process of aligning sight and sound I realize the people on the video are lip-synching.

It’s a weird video, repeating scenarios with moderate variations. For instance, a man cooks something that includes rice and offers it to a woman then another woman cooks something different with rice and offers it to a different person. The people appear to be English.

“Irritation”
I’m driving some of the girls from work. Erin is lying on the seat and rubbing her finger hard against my hip. It’s irritating me and I look down at her and ask her to stop but she keeps doing it. I pull my hip away and I move my physical hip, waking myself. G’s hand falls off my physical hip: in his sleep, he had actually been doing what Erin had done in the dream and was causing physical pain.

Fragment: I’m back in time, young and pretty and dresses in late eighties fashion, in my classroom teaching. A workman(?) is there and flirts with me. He’s dark haired, stocky but attractive. Has the vivid and knowing quality of a more-than-dream-character.

Do you think the first one has to do with 'RL', or 'NP' communication?

Probably non-physical, CF, since it's not resonating with what's happening currently. That said, I've been starting work early lately and I haven't given much though to my dreams, so I could be wrong.

Do you ever wonder if it's the poorly recalled or forgotten dreams where the most interesting stuff might be happening in terms of being at what Kurt calls "the cutting edge of your growth"? I feel an intimation of this quite often.

I don't know- sometimes I think so, but then nothing happens for me. Then, outward things happen that make me go 'hm'. Maybe I'm more outward oriented.

Well I've been so slack. I'm so tired ATM and starting work early that I really can't be bothered recording, which I know from past experience is a mistake because something always happens and I realise that I didn't record a predictive dream.

I also have a habit of not recording dreams that I find uncomfortable. For instance, a couple of nights ago I dreamt an older woman at work asked me to marry her and put an engagement ring on my finger. It was a pretty ring, I actually took time to notice. I also accepted the proposal. Now, I have nothing against lesbians but I'm not one and while I find women attractive I've never felt an inclination to have sex with one, you know? I know exactly what this dream means btw and it's nothing at all to do with cohabitation. Ever since certain sweetners were offered at work I've pretty much committed to staying there for, well, a long time. The woman in the dream is retiring this year after being there a long time. So, the dream is about that commitment.

The morning of that dream as I drove to work and I passed my sons' school so close to home with its preferred co-ed, non-religious environment and its easy homogenous middle class racial mix, I contemplated how many times I had fantasied about working there over the last few years. But I didn't feel it anymore. I also had the thought driving to school that I bet now that I'm committed at my workplace that I'll hear from this other school. Sure enough, during the day a friend rang and said they desperately and quickly needed someone of my experience but I said I couldn't do it now - it would be too ungrateful. Earlier that morning, as if to reinforce it, one of the women on the executive told me that there had been a discussion at the meeting about my returning to full time work and how I'd been roundly praised by all present. Even today at the final parent teacher meeting of the year, the parents I met were all so complimentary and asking if their sons could have me again next year because they had started loving English. One even gave me a present with a lovely card. So, looks like I'm about to get married.

See how I brought this post back around to being relevant to your discussion, CF? :D

:clap:

Not much recall again but I've been really psychic again. It's a matter of me idly thinking something - nearly always when I'm in a bit of a driving trance - and it happens. Today's thought was wondering if my youngest son would get a part time job soon and when I got home he said he'd gotten a call from a place he asked at months ago. There's been lots of these and lots of knowing with quiet certainty the outcomes of things before they happen.

16^th December, 2011.
Friday

Still feeling so disinclined to keep a journal currently -don't know why I'm so lethargic of late. Anyway, last night (I’ve let the whole day go before recording this) I dreamt about aliens fumigating the planet to rid it of humans but there were pockets of resistance. I guess it was mostly a watched dream like a movie but, at the end, I was on the craft of a friendly race that was saving whatever humans it could. I didn't see them but they were communicating their intentions telepathically.

17^th December, 2011.
Saturday

I’m in the hallway of the house where I was raised. I search the linen cupboard, which is altered so that it’s doorless and painted white, for some knitting that I apparently started years before. It’s a pretty, lacy intricate knit, like you’d find on a baby’s jacket or blanket. While I search, I see a couple of christening gowns laid out and still pristine. I walk off with the knitting, hoping I’ll find the pattern so I can continue it again.

This is all I can recall though there was obviously more.

18^th December, 2011.
Sunday

First dreams were largely continuing what we had done before bed, which was dinner late into the night with two families, whose company we enjoy.

"Independence"
I’m in town with a thin, blond woman, shorter but slightly older than me. She is the head of the Catholic Education office. She’s telling me that our independent school is going to be absorbed into their system. I walk through some streets with her and board a bus. I’m only on it very briefly when something tells me this isn’t where I’m supposed to be or want to be so I immediately disembark.

I hurry back to where I began and realize I have my old car parked here. My sister is there and we talk about something I can’t remember.

Now I’m in the C's “house.” There’s a stage under some stairs, with a glass between audience and performers. The audience consists of Penny, Sandro and me and we view moments from their son’s lives.

I’m not sure of what happens next. Perhaps Sandro plays a trick on them – he fancies himself a bit of a joker.

19^th December, 2011.
Monday

"Erin Makes Changes"
I’m at work and Erin has made changes; the staffroom is totally transformed. I work in it for a while, go away and return. Now things are altered again. This time the desks are outside. This won’t do, what if it rains?

Linda T, the AP at G’s school, approaches and asks me what’s wrong. I don’t want to talk to her because I don’t trust her and I don’t want to complain about Erin to her.

Now I wander upstairs in a newly built brick building. I see inside that we have a new staffroom. The desks are new and neatly arranged.

Note: Erin, our new co-ordinator, has been very controversial. I like her and find her reasonable, so I can’t see why others, some of them highly reasonable people themselves, have had such difficulty with her.

"H defends himself."
I’m on the street outside a house when a small blond boy approaches. He’s apparently been aggressive towards H, as some boys were when H was in primary school and really didn’t know about aggression or how to respond to it. I threaten him, warning him to leave H alone or I’ll deal with him and I won’t be kind.

In the meanwhile, H is a few metres away and another boy is starting on him. H is his current size (very large for a 14 year old) and looks at me for permission to defend himself. I give it to him with a nod and a look.

Note: In waking reality, we occasionally observed boys bully H when he was younger. We showed him how to defend himself but he was always reluctant, thinking it was wrong to fight back. By high school he had learnt to do it and it quickly ended the harassment.

I really must go straight to my journal. I slept in this morning and woke up with a head full of dreams but because I took so long I can now only recall the last two.

20^th December, 2011.
Tuesday

For the few hours before bed I was preparing a unit for next year on Gothicism. Consequently, I was reading essays on Brahm Stoker’s Dracula. These included Feminist, Marxist, Homosexual and Post Structualist readings. It’s not at all surprising then that vampires featured heavily in my dreams.

Vampire
I don’t remember the beginning of this dream.
I’m on the floor of a small room and there’s a dark haired female vampire about my age (a shadow self, perhaps) whom I can see in the adjoining room. I know I’ve already been bitten and I’m dreading further bites. She approaches the door and I see there are a couple of young women out there with her so I suggest she bite them – they’re younger. Then I feel that was selfish and cruel. In any case, she has her own ideas and approaches and bites me on the back of my neck.
I try to shorten her drinking by pretending to swoon and she leaves me alone temporarily. Then she sees me again through the door and clearly realizes she could have taken more blood/life force, so she returns for more. While she feeds I begin to recall some of the reading I did before bed that suggested that the vampire in Stoker’s novel represents male dominance through the penetrative act, even when the vampire is a (transgressive)female, and that the blood drinking represents sex - only people couldn’t write about such things in a sexually repressive society. This memory triggers mild sexual excitement while the vampire feeds and when I mention it to her she promises some satisfaction of that impulse later. I vaguely wonder what that might entail.

Now I’m alone and Beth crawls to the doorway. She knows what has happened to me and states sympathetically, “Female monsters are far worse than males.”

Note: Beth’s statement is interesting. As a former male, I guess she’d be in a reasonable position to compare male and female monsters. She recently spent many weeks in hospital with a serious infection that could have taken her life and could be classified as a “female monster.” This renewed our contact, though I didn’t know about it until towards the end of her hospital stay. That renewal quickly turned sour for various reasons and I simply ceased contact with a person I believed was beginning to behave monstrously. No doubt, she felt the same about me.

I wake up and can hear a “radio”. This time the astral noise is so consistent, distinct and long-lasting that I think the clock radio must have been accidentally reset and I lift my head from the pillow. I hear it for some time before it fades away and then I’m mildly annoyed because I could have possibly used the state to project.

Another vampire dream follows. I can’t recall details. It’s possibly set in a doctor’s office.

Toddler

I’ve been caring for a toddler for some years but now it’s the end of that period. I explain it to the little blond boy but I’m not sure he understands. I load him into a stroller, planning to take him for a walk. There are other things I’m taking too, the accouterments that accompany babyhood. The family’s pet dog, a boxer, might also accompany us.

I stroll down the street and encounter a group of youth. I’m not sure of them but a young dark-haired male puts out his hand to give the baby a high five.

Now G and I are loading baby into the car. I’ve placed him in his safety capsule and G is behind the car carrying the boxer, its legs folded like a deer. He’s going to put it in the boot but I suggest he not do that, so he places it in a plastic laundry basket inside the car.

Note: I wonder if this dream in some way references my oldest son leaving home for uni next year. Some of the references, such as a dog and the basket, come from the previous day spent with my younger son. While we walked the dog we briefly discussed me minding their children and even their dog, once I am retired. We also shopped and among the items I bought was a new laundry basket.

I just this minute recovered a very strange memory. I read a friend's Facebook status that expressed amusement that her toddler daughter told her to shoosh because she was on her toy phone. Either I had an intensely powerful imagination as a child or I really did hear voices communicating with me when I played on my little plastic toy phone.

"Would you keep it down. My guide is trying to say something. Thanks." :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Korpo

"Would you keep it down. My guide is trying to say something. Thanks." :D

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So funny :lol:

:lol:

22^nd December, 2011.
Thursday.

My earlier dream is vague. A young man is teaching me something. It feels like I do some mathematics.

"Skin Cancer"
I’m in a hospital, perched up in a metal laundry tub in preparation for some kind of procedure. The woman in charge comments on the fact that I’m nice and clean and that the majority of her patients aren’t. There are several other hospital staff members around me. I climb down from the tub and we head off together, apparently in order to remove a skin cancer.

Note: I’ve been planning to get the doctor to do a skin cancer check for me.

"Peter P."
I’m sitting with G and someone else and about 25 metres away Peter P appears to be conducting proceedings at some kind of meeting. He’s peering over his glasses, waiting for people to stop talking. I make a statement about this to G and then Peter peers my way but with a smile on his face. I comment to G about how I’m the only one he smiles at for talking and we chuckle together.

Note: Peter is a teacher at my work, a sweet, more senior gent who always smiles at me. I think he’ll retire soon.

“A Teacher’s Bad Dream”
I’m at work and I’ve walked across to an alternative English/History staffroom. Within are two teachers engaged in professional discussion. They’re planning an exam, discussing using a question for one part that has worked well in the past. They can apparently purchase the question from some professional organization. It surprises me that I know nothing about this organization and it makes me feel that I need to improve in regards to knowing where to obtain resources.

Note: This is an area I’m aware of that could actually improve in waking reality. I tend to be self-sufficient in tracking down and creating resources and this is extremely taxing on my time. These women also represent the type of people at work that can namedrop and know all the “stars” of our profession. I’m not good at that at all.

Now they acknowledge me. The dominant one is diminutive with shoulder length dark brown hair. It’s hard to estimate her age, she feels younger than me in the dream but the person she looks most like in WR is slightly older than I am. There’s a sense that she knows the ropes and has been at the school a long time. The other is blond, tall, slightly heavy and with a moderately clumsy feel to her.

Notes: The first reminds me of the mother of one of our son’s friends. She is a basketball mum and when our eldest played she was very much in charge of running the local comp and refereeing the games. My husband and various parents on the team couldn’t stand her, considering her something of a zealot when it came to the rules and regulations. I didn’t think she was that bad. The other woman reminds me of a clumsy version of Vicki, a football mum and the receptionist at the local chiropractor.

The brunette begins to address me. She hasn’t met me before but she tells me she had one of my history classes after me. She announces that they thoroughly preferred her, complaining about my teaching and lack of classroom control. I’m stunned by her frankness and begin to berate her, calling her rude. Her friend supports her insensitivity and walks beside me as I head back to the staffroom, attempting to justify it.

Note: Competitiveness is rife in teaching and students will often inadvertently feed it by complaining about their former teachers. Teachers do get reputations and I’m used to enjoying a very good one but when I began at my current workplace I did encounter the History class from hell – the worst behaved and most hateful kids I’d taught anywhere. Being a newcomer is a challenge in itself, so this was unfortunate timing. They left their mark on my psyche. They certainly left their mark on the collective psyche of the teaching staff.

I ignore her but I’m considering some kind of retaliation. There’s the thought of unleashing a psychic attack but I’m resisting it, knowing it’s not a mature or wise response. There’s a real sense the intensity of my emotion is such that the impact of such an attack would be dramatic. I’m aware that if I send it, I’ll see it as a storm.

Notes: Before bed I read a medium’s blog where she described being attacked psychically. I’m teetering on lucidity here in the sense that I’m aware that emotions can manifest physically in this dream environment.

I reach my usual staffroom and tell a few colleagues why I’m incensed. A couple of them begin to bitch about these teachers from another staffroom. Their support is appreciated but I’m not interested in the things they say to degrade the other women, who were clearly hardworking and competent teachers.

Note: There is one friend in particular at work that bitches about other staff members. She’s been there a long time and holds old grudges. The description above is how I often regard her bitching: I appreciate that she’s supporting me or someone else but I always feel she takes it too far, demeaning the entire person instead of simply disapproving a singular act.

It seems like the characters in this dream are shadow aspects: the conceited/competitive/insensitive one, she who defends the indefensible and those who are quick to judge and condemn.

“The boss’ dance”
My eldest son sits on a lounge before a television watching “The X Factor.” I come and stand behind him to see what he’s watching. Suddenly the boss is there and does a funny little dance in order to be amusing. This is meant to be for my amusement in order to imply we’re hip, fun-loving people.
Note: This is about the way I perceive my boss’ self-perception. F would never watch “X Factor” IRL. I imagine it’s a comment on his stage of life: a study in what it takes to be successful. Maybe that’s a self-fragment at work too.

26^th December, 2011.
Monday

“Jewellery Store.”
I’m walking around a jewellery store, accompanied by a female, whom I acknowledge as present, even though I don’t notice her form. There’s some kind of problem. I seem to have left some pearl earrings there that I purchased in another store. I retrieve them but there’s perhaps some anxiety that I’ll be considered a thief.

A snippet: a tall, young, attractive woman with a lot of authority instructing an underling to look after somebody important. Still seems to be a shop context.

“Spiritualist Circle.”
I’m sitting on the floor. I decide I wish to start a spiritualist circle and ask the nearest woman milling with some other women if she wishes to join. She does and so she sits on the floor opposite me. She is thin, has straight, mousy-blond hair and she’s about my age. My thoughts turn to how we’ll run this circle and how large we’ll allow it to become but she’s off on her own tangent and begins to channel information. I listen to her respectfully. It appears she’s giving a street name; she says “Jaime Street.” I tell her I know a Jaime and we can ask her to join our circle if she likes, perhaps we can use Skype to include her.

“Serial Rapist.”
Now the dream has become movie-like. I see a serial criminal carrying an unconscious woman over his shoulder and I hear a younger person beside me commenting on the movie. He says, “What’s he gonna do, eat her?” The criminal opens a hatch door to an underground cellar and carries his victim down to where three other women lie. They are bound in such a way as to remind me of pupae. It becomes clear that this criminal’s thing is to impregnate these women but there’s no explanation as yet as to why. I begin to wonder about the likelihood of such a scenario, as I would if I watched such a movie in waking reality. My first thought is to wonder about the level of vitamin D deprivation the women would experience in their subterranean prison and I wonder if the woman would be able to conceive or even carry babies to term bound and laying on the dirt ground as they are. I ask myself if he’s even feeding them.

27^th December, 2011.
Tuesday

“The Colleague.”
I’m waiting at a bus stop with an older woman. While I don’t have a distinct vision of her appearance, I have a real sense of it nonetheless. She is older, with dark brown hair, a matronly body and, I feel, she wears something akin to a shawl that gives her a gipsy feel. I treat her as though she is my work colleague, though there is nobody like her at work, and we’re on our way to a teacher conference at the university.

I’m unhappy because Megan S has reduced her days at St J’s and is working casually at my school on her day off. It is unacceptable to me that she should bring her form of manipulation and disruption to our school after making my life and the lives of others so miserable at our last school. I’m telling the older woman about it, saying that she just won’t comprehend all the things M has done and the kind of damage of which she’s capable.

A bus arrives and, curiously, I see two magazines in its rims. I pick one out and look at its glossy cover, feeling it’s perfectly okay that I do so – it’s for me. Post dream I feel this was supposed to make an impression on me, that there’s something I was meant to receive from it like a rote (an information package) but I doubt I’m focused enough because I have no recollection beyond receiving it and then asking the colleague if she wants it. She does, so I pass it to her. The magazine, like a book or computer is usually an indication of mental plane access for me but I suspect I don’t make it all the way on this occasion.

Now I’m on a train. Momentarily I see the seats are facing towards where the window would be but we’re still moving. There’s no sense of anything in front of us where the train wall would be and no view or wind rushing past. I hear two people talking on my left. A girl asks her father, does he think ghosts are real. I lean forward, so as to speak past the person nearest me and assure them they are, that I’ve seen them with my own eyes. Then I laugh, “I don’t mind telling you, I don’t care if you think I’m crazy because I’ll never see you again. It means nothing to me what you think of me.” They laugh in agreement.

Now we’ve reached the platform and I realize I have one boot off. I’m struggling to put it on as the colleague disembarks. There’s no reason I shouldn’t get off though: I have time. I get to the doors but the train won’t slow enough for me to get off and follow my colleague who knows the way to the in-service, the room numbers and the schedule of events. There’s a station guard at the door of the train and I ask him to tell the driver to stop, that it isn’t fair not to stop fully and properly at the station. The master is stubborn – he will not let me pass. I sigh in resignation and ask him how long until the next stop. He replies an hour, much to my surprise. I’m calculating how late I’ll be getting to the conference and wondering if it’s worth it, if I’ll even know where to go without my colleague to guide me.

“The Second Effort”
I’m with my eldest son, F, and we’ve disembarked a train and walking towards Sydney University. Our mood is happy and positive but I tell him I’m unsure of the rooms and the schedule and will need to work it out when we arrive.

Now I’m arrived but F has disappeared and I’m carrying a large, sleeping, baby. He’s about 18 months old and naked. All I seem to have is a sheet to wrap him but he’s hard to wrap because he’s become so heavy and I don’t feel I can sit down because I’m searching for the place I need to be. At the same time, I need to take responsibility for him. I feel he hasn’t been fed for too long and must be given some fluids. I’m searching among lockers where I feel I’ll find something for him but I can’t recall a locker number and I’m vaguely wondering why I even think I have a locker as I don’t remember getting one. I briefly wonder if I should breastfeed him but I feel heavily resistant to that notion. I’m getting confused, walking around corners and finding yet more lockers. The baby is a heavy weight and I wonder why I don’t have a stroller for him; I carry him poorly, his legs dangling. All the while he sleeps. I’m aware too of people at counters, assistants watching my lack of progress and others milling past. It doesn’t occur to me they might help me.

Notes: Before bed I vaguely asked for a leading edge of growth dream but since this request invariably leads to a dream I can’t remember, I asked them to bring it down a notch or two to something I would recall. There’s a long first dream that is totally forgotten now, erased by the memory of “The Colleague” dream, which is a shame because it was more pleasant IIRC. Hopefully it’ll come back as the day unfolds.

The second dream seems to end with a gatekeeper experience, while “The Second Effort” gets me to my destination but then I’m impeded by the weight of an astral elemental. I suspect the elemental is a result of current concerns about my almost-eighteen-year-old leaving home for uni.

I do take away the necessary information that I must forgive the ghosts of the past and overcome fear that such things can touch me again in my present if I’m to unburden myself and progress. Tomorrow will be a good test as I’ll see some of my former colleagues who still work with M. It also occurs to me that I shouldn’t worry about F’s living arrangements and lack of personal income until problems arise.

28^th December, 2011.
Wednesday.

“The Cling Wrap Men”
I interact with Carmen and baby Zoe in some kind of party atmosphere. I enjoy being with them.

I’m at an outdoor place now, near a swimming pool. It turns out it belongs to Helen L and I’m soon introducing my family to her. She introduces her husband, who is slightly more attractive than I would have imagined him to be. H says something silly and mildly embarrassing and I shush him. I think she provides food that we eat by the pool.

Now we’re inside Helen’s house. It’s a nice large room, a pale yellow colour, tastefully furnished. I look around it and say, “This isn’t how I imagined your house.” I’m not sure what it is about the feeling of this room but I teeter on lucidity. I might achieve it – I don’t know because I’ve lost so much from last night’s dreams.

Now I’m on the grounds of a school or university. The social interactions continue with the many people around me. I think Carmen and Zoe are back in the dream again. I meet Helen’s relatives, her many nephews and nieces. We’re about to pile into a car to go for a drive around the premises. There are so many of us that the male driver attaches a trailer for the kids to ride in. I experience mild anxiety about being included. I don’t recall a trip in the car now.

I’m listening to someone talk – a principal. While he talks I watch some men wrapping cling wrap around furniture, not covering it but making lines of binding wrap between the parts of the furniture, for instance, between the legs of a piano. Initially, I thought these men were painters because I saw white paint on their overalls but now they wear suits and the idea of paint is gone.

I wake with the thought that Helen’s an old soul (if there is such a thing as soul age, she probably is) and struggling to recall this dream that seemed to have gone on for a very long time.

29^th December, 2011.
Thursday.

“Lecture at the beach.”
I’m outside at a learning venue by a beach. There’s a man on stage giving a lecture. I’ve been using my laptop but leave it to watch the man. He’s speaking with an affected and pompous English accent, which annoys me so much that I don’t really pay attention to the lecture.

I’ve walked away from him and I see many teachers gathered around a very large table. It becomes apparent that we’re supposed to gather in groups for discussion. Initially my group remains dispersed but gradually they gather to sit on some steps. I don’t know how I know they’re my group except for the presence of a blond woman with bobbed hair. I feel she’s been in other dreams. So I sit on the steps with them and they begin to discuss how some surnames indicate that certain people are to experience enmity. I try to apply this to me (are we speaking literature?) and suggest that since one my maiden name was to possibly indicate the occupation of silversmith, that maybe Blacksmith might be the opposite name. She tries to be polite but I’ve clearly gotten this entirely wrong.

Now I’m walking briefly with Maria C (from old job). I’m walking across a courtyard with her, asking her something but she’s barely acknowledging me.

I’m at the water and I have a surfboard so, even though the ocean is wild (as it has been here in WR) I dive in and ride a wave. It’s very enjoyable but extremely short-lived because I’m pulled elsewhere by the memory of my abandoned laptop. I go in search of it and encounter G, who is packing up the car to go. He has a small gathering of people around him (Paul E is there) to whom he has offered a lift and there are roof racks on the car with boards. He tells me he’ll have to do two trips because of the people he needs to drop off. I tell him I’m searching for my computer.

I’m not sure if this happens now or happened before I encountered G. I’m walking on hard, smooth volcanic rock. Suddenly my foot lodges in a hole and I look down and remember that someone has created a long shallow trench in this rock and filled it with large smooth stones. I easily dislodge my foot and move over so I’m once again walking beside the trench, not in it.

Now G is telling me he’s recovered my computer, that the presenters had borrowed it. I’m not really bothered by this, except for feeling the presentation wasn’t really worthy. He mentions Helen S, claiming skeptically that she says I pledged the use of my laptop for this back in January. I tell him that if I had there’s no way I’d remember it.

G is driving us home now but he wants to look at the ocean first (as is his way in RL). He drives us right to the edge of a cliff and I become alarmed and ask him to stop. Below us the ocean is vivid.

30^th December, 2011.
Friday.

“Enormous Wave”
I remember just the end part of this dream. I’m in the ocean and somebody (G?) calls out to get ready. I look up and see a wave towering above me; totally vivid. I’m diving under it and I hear the voice warning me to watch out for sharks. I look beneath me at the clear, tremendously deep water. I’m totally unafraid.

Note: I did go to the beach with G and the boys yesterday and that probably influenced this dream.

“David and Mishell”
Mishell has come for a holiday in Australia. So she can go out, I mind David for a day. He’s a lovely boy and plays well with the various things I find for him to do. He definitely knows his preferences and I enjoy his presence. When Mishell returns from her day out, David is asleep and I report that we’ve had a great day together but I realize that we’ve been so involved in play that I haven’t fed him anything or given him a drink.

Now Mishell and Holly, a new first year out teacher from work, need a place to sleep. I tell them I can provide a room but not a guest bed and they’ll need to sleep in sleeping bags. Mishell looks disappointed by this news.

“Everyone should Fly”
The same characters minus David are transported to a new environment. I don’t know what this place is exactly but there’s a larger group of us now and we’re required to climb a tall ladder and make our way across unevenly spaced monkey bars. I feel disadvantage because I’m wearing a dress that reaches past my knees, but I comply. I decide that the easiest way is to crawl across the top, which I start out doing but then I decide I’d rather fly. I like flying so much that I plan to never stop.

Someone from deeper within the house, a male cousin perhaps, approaches me and asks me to desist. I ignore the request, totally convinced that this is reality, and I say to Mishell and Holly that it’s time humans began using their ability to fly – I shouldn’t stop, everyone else should start.

“Mum’s choir”
I’m a teen again and we’re preparing for a singing performance. My mother appears and she’s apparently the conductor. I wonder if she’s smart enough to do this but I give her the benefit of the doubt. When she speaks she has an accent, which is true in waking reality but it’s not her accent, not her voice. I find this very curious. There’s a sense of much greater intelligence, even a sense of humour when she talks. She’s wasting time though and I’m becoming impatient to learn the actual song. I read the unfamiliar words and try to make a tune with them.

There’s a sense of other invisible authority figures observing.

Note: Mum made a Skype call to me just before bed. I’d never used Skype before but downloaded at her request (against my better judgement) out of sympathy for her loneliness. She spoke for 45 minutes straight about all the problems she’d had in recent weeks. It was, as it always is, painfully boring.

A couple of non dream adventures from the last week.

Sitting in the car with the family I thought of my mother and sister and wondered if they'd tried to ring the house. The mobile phone rang that moment and it was them.

Walking the dog, I had the warning feeling of something ahead. I couldn't see or hear anything but from around the corner came a mother and her son on his scooter. I couldn't see a threat here, the boy on the scooter was even going slowly, keeping apace with his mother so that he wouldn't have collided with Bella if I'd left her off her leash.

I decided to keep her on leash because I've been right so many times and regretted when I've disregarded the feeling but there was nothing. I let her lead me down to the grassy paddock so she could be by the creek where she loves to romp and continued cautiously in case the warning feeling was for a snake but she was totally safe. There were no encounters with poorly mannered dogs and ranger wasn't there either.

So what do I learn from this? Clearly, the signal itself is probably fairly neutral: "Something ahead. " That part I get right every time but I have a tendency to confuse an emotion such as dread with it and that's probably based on past experience. So, the challenge is to come up with ways to differentiate the signal from the feeling in order to get accurate, useful information.

31^st December, 2011
Saturday

"Diamonds"
Remembered fragment from earlier in the night. I’m with two women and they each wear wide, black fabric belts studded with tiny diamonds. I scrutinize the diamonds on one of the belts and see that they are pink as well as clear. They mesmerize me.

Lots of dreaming and weird energy sensations through the night but I went to bed late and was so tired as a consequence it’s hard to get straight what happened. There was a moment I appeared to phase but I can’t recall the scene or what followed now.

"Trains and bags"
I do recall, however, being on a train platform. Once again a train pulls in and the gap is too wide for embarking so I decide I’ll wait for the next train rather than leap across. I have a “memory” of this happening before and I leapt across but left my bag on the platform (if I had this experience in a dream it was never recalled). Now I look down at my bag and one of the handles has broken off. I’m unperturbed by this but mention it to someone on the station out of surprise at its happening.

Somewhere in all this I dream of two former colleagues, Maria G and Renate. I worked with them at different schools, one was an art teacher, the other, a special needs teacher. Both were similarly humble, skilled and likeable. I’m told in the dream that Maria retrained as something else by studying hard while she continued to teach.

1^st January, 2012.
Sunday

Late to bed for obvious reasons. Happy new Year.

“Deep underground”
I’m deep inside the earth in natural caverns with my family. We’ve definitely been here before: we remember being fascinated by the fish in the small pools that are scattered about where we walk. It also feels different to last time, as though things have altered slightly or we’ve gone deeper and it’s as if we’re interested in slightly different things this time. The ceilings are well above us and there’s a tunnel to the outside several kilometres long. The light travels down along shaft. I experience one of those morbid thoughts that sometimes occur IWR when we’re vulnerable in our environment: What if there were an earthquake and all the rock were to collapse on top of us? People would only know we’d been here by finding our abandoned car.
G wants to cross a deep crevice but the material he wants us to walk over looks like gigantic stalks of straw laid flat. I have my doubts but we’re crossing before I can express them and the straw gives way beneath our weight. We plummet but without fear.

“Elevator”
A later though poorly recalled dream. I observe in third person and woman who is physically somewhat similar to me. She is operating an elevator from outside, ready to ascend. She is talking but there are others who wait with her and they are silent.

2^nd January, 2012.
Monday.

“Back at Uni”
I’ve gone back to university to do a degree. The first part of the dream is like an orientation where I simply accept I’m doing a degree again. For a while a fellow student, a young woman, asks me questions about the area, which is apparently Canberra (so I guess it’s Australian National Uni where my son plans to go). I tell her I’m not local but somehow I’m still able to help her with her inquiry.

There’s a blurred bit here. I seem to pass a line of piled books. I’ve done something correctly where others have failed. There’s a vague memory of my former boss, who IWR is about to become my boss again, and Megan, who made my former job a misery.

I’ve started early on the big assignment. Is this a Master’s Degree? It’s an English assignment, so I feel entirely competent. I’ve read copiously and I’ve expressed myself clearly. I know it’s excellent as I present it to the professor who sits behind her desk. I hope she will mark it there and then, even though I’ve submitted early. She reads and comments on it. I can see she’s looking for ways to detract marks but she has trouble finding them. She mentions that she might take a mark away for something that seems arbitrary and I comment that if she does I’ll alter it and resubmit, since the essay is early anyway. She softens then and comments that she’s giving the bibliography 81/2 out of 11 but that the essay itself is flawless. I know the bibliography is extensive and authentic but I don’t care about it. She announces 96.5%, a High Distinction. I don’t notice the maths and accept the mark.

Note: Maybe the degree is in self-assertion. Admittedly, it’s something I’m still learning.

“F’s Potty Training”
F is using a potty in the kitchen. I think to myself that we’ve spoilt him way too much allowing this practice. I see a neighbor climbing a ladder next door and comment that he’ll see Finn through the window, hoping to mock him into more conformist behaviour. The neighbor doesn’t see.

Note: I wasn’t going to publish this one because it seems to suggest my eldest son is in some way delayed but potty training really is just a marker/symbol for the necessary stages we pass on the way to adulthood. The mocking attitude is an indicator of parental fear that the child won’t behave in socially approved ways, that they'll fail at key specific stages. The dream is a reminder that there are more loving ways to bring children to adult realisation. Mockery in this sense is also a failure of self-assertion because it is a form of bullying.

3^rd January, 2012.
Tuesday.

“Bridget’s Job Interview”
I’m in a school setting, in assembly or mass when I spot Bridget who is resplendent in a green silk blouse. Carmen sits on my right and spots her too and we become quite excited that she has come to visit.

At the first opportunity Carmen greets Bridget and asks her if she’s coming back to work with us. I think Bridget has confirmed this and I’m delighted. I think I hear Carmen say she’ll be an improvement on the current teacher who, in the dream reality only, is a former student of mine who IWR lives in Western Australia and is a set designer. I wonder why Daniel hasn’t been a good drama teacher in Carmen’s view.

It seems Bridget is gone already and I enthuse about her return but Carmen sets me right and explains that she’s not returning, that she’s about to attend a job interview to be a paralegal. This confuses me a bit because, as far as I know, Bridget has only worked as a teacher and an events organizer.

Now I see Bridget in a performance set inside a spacious office place. I watch her from a high angle perspective, the lead girl in an entertaining tap routine. This feels more like it!

I’m leaving work for classes. It seems to be a complex process as though I’ll be away for days. There’s more to this dream but it has a muddled quality.

“Gifts”
I enter “home” where Dad is, either with my siblings (and we’re younger) or with my own kids. They’ve unwrapped presents and I check out what they’ve got there. There’s a decorative plate with birds against a bright red background, sitting in white tissue paper atop a mantle piece. I glance briefly at a video explaining the significance of the plate. It plays on an old style television beneath the mantle but, for now, I’m more interested in the others who are unwrapping something else. I cannot remember what it was once I awaken but it seemed to be valuable and bigger than the other gift: maybe a long, heavy vase.

4^th January, 2012
Wednesday
“Preparing to die”
I’m in a school setting. Michelle G announces to the students that an atomic blast is about to occur and we prepare to die without sadness or drama. I tell Michelle that if I can’t spend my last minutes with my family, then I’m glad it’s with a quality person like her, a true old soul.

Note: Michelle is an exceptional human being. We worked together at my former workplace.

5^th January, 2012
Thursday
Back to a pattern of copious dreaming and poor recall. Must get to bed earlier and reduce the stimulation before bed.

“Phone call from unknown woman”
A woman’s voice speaks to me on the phone. She’s expecting a second baby and moving to the area where I lived when I had my babies. She’s asking about the availability of an obstetrician and I’m telling her there’s one locally in the shop complex. She is explaining the problems she’s had with this birth, with pieces of her uterus coming away. She’s also asking me questions about building and if I know a good builder. Somehow, G comes into this part of the conversation.

Note: There was no obstetrician local to where I lived IWR but it was true in the dream context.
I suspect this dream is representative of a relationship I have with a former student who caught me on the FB chat feature last night.

“Naughty Schoolgirl.”
There’s a schoolgirl who is in someway naughty. She has endeared herself to me and reformed her ways. I’m not sure what else happens but she seems in the role of initiating the dream actions.

6^th January, 2012.
Friday.

“Holding My Ground”
I believe I have the role of directing a musical. It’s Little Shop of Horror,s one I directed many years ago. I know all the songs and I understand the needs of the play. I feel competent.

The stage is set and there is a group of girls on a lower side stage to the front left of a traditional proscenium arch stage. They sing the title song. When they’re done, I explain to them about singing from the diaphragm because I thought their voices were a bit thin and weak.

Now someone tells me about the arrival of another person, apparently from the university, a recent graduate who starts attempting to run the show. She’s young and unnecessary and I’m unwilling to accept her authority. Now a young man arrives with similar intentions and again I wonder where these outsiders have come from and what gives them the right to run the show.

Now I’m with Megan (a nemesis figure for me). We’re singing together, heads touching. I know all the words but she knows some of them and when we sing the pieces she knows, I harmonise for fun and we enjoy ourselves. I sing the other pieces alone. We seem to be semi-reclined on the floor before a cabinet of drawers as we sing. Suddenly I notice something peculiar: Beneath the normal drawers and to the left (much like the stage arrangement) is a set of tiny drawers. I wonder what is kept inside them.

Noticing again how a random thought seems connected with things that rapidly manifest. Here's just one example: I think, Whatever came of Bird Flu? I wonder if they still have their emergency procedures for outbreaks. There's no stimulus to this thought; I just think it out of the blue. Within an hour I see an item on TV on how some scientists have mutated the virus to make it more contagious. They discuss the dangers and ethics of such a move.

This keeps happening with varying timeframes.

7^th January, 2012.
Saturday

I don’t really know what happened last night. The dreams themselves don’t seem to have been all that revelatory but there were some fairly pronounced energy sensations and hypnagogics the minute my head hit the pillow. I wouldn’t say these were warranted by a whole lot of energy work on my part, though I had been teaching a yoga class each day for the three days prior. I’m on a bit of a holiday from the metaphysical as well as from work, happily immersing myself in the physical. Subsequently, I went to bed over-stimulated and with a still-active mind and pretty much writing off the possibility of decent dream recall.

“Dream Editing”
I did wake up after one dream during the night and tried to recall it. The funny thing was that I could remember what it was about (then) without really remembering any visual imagery to go with the story. I even asked myself if I was just making it up but, obviously, it had come from somewhere.

The last dream had me cast, as if for a television programme set in the 80s, as a female love interest in a triangle. I decided that I didn’t really like that plot – it was too unsympathetic to one of the male characters - so I kind rewrote it and took him out of the triangle.

There was a scene where I went to lunch with my partner in the dream and he only brought one plate of food to share. Again, I wasn’t happy with this scenario and noted that from now on I’d buy all my own meals and make my own decisions as this dream persona.

We lived in a town where the cinema was just up the road and we were headed there when the dream ended. I had to get up and go teach a class.

9^th January, 2012.
Monday
“Casework”
I’m some kind of caseworker for a young woman, driving a car full of unknown people to a place I need to be. There is a name that keeps appearing on the street signs, always the same name though I’m not sure what it is now (Charles?) and I tell the people in the car that I know that is the name of the street where I need to be.

Now I’m in charge of a baby girl and there’s a feeling she’s the case I’m working on, although she was older at the beginning of the dream. Another person with me, a woman who looks like Louise, one of the pre-school teachers who worked at my sons’ day care centre when they were babies, tells me the baby’s nappy is soiled. I’ve already noticed and begin to change her, laying her over a change mat on the boot of the car. Others move about me, trying to help but all they manage to do is bump me so I become soiled with the baby’s faeces, some of which had already gotten on my hands and now my arm. I tell them to give me room and that I’ll need to wash.

“Future Place”
I’m in some kind of futuristic environment - not too distant. Some of this I’ve forgotten but the dream seems to follow the experiences of some family members. One, as a boy, flies a model plane well beyond the expectations of what a model plane would do. As if this part is a movie I hear G say something like, “Well he’s the one who grows up to be a fighter pilot.” I see he's about to trick his brothers in some way, when he finds them out on a bridge getting up to mischief, each taking a leak in a bottle. He tells them to make sure they give him the bottles because he wants to drink and I know in watching him he’s going to do something they won’t like but that he’ll find hilarious.

Now I’m a character too. I’m before a squat, dark grey machine that doesn’t look at all hi tech. Suddenly it starts a read out and another woman, a medical type comes along. She smiles in delight because the machine is giving a read-out on my health - it apparently selects people at random. It appears she’s a doctor and the back story is that I wouldn’t allow her to do a breast check and now she’ll know what she wants to know.

Note: IWR I have a friend who gives mammograms who has pressured me to get one. I’ve resisted because I’ve read and heard some negative things about the procedure and I want to minimise my exposure,especially when I'm considered low risk. Recently a friend posted a link on FB for free mammograms for women under 50, I guess that seeded this part of the dream.

10^th January, 2012.
Tuesday.

“Daniel locked in”
I just remember the last part of this dream. It’s about a talented boy I taught in my first couple of years of teaching and directed in musicals who grew up to be an actor. In this dream the art teacher from back in that time and somebody else plans to lock him inside the gym (?). I don’t know how I fit in this dream exactly. I tell Sandra that she shouldn’t lock him in but she seems to think he has a lesson coming for some reason*. She walks to an exit and pulls down a black blind, which apparently locks Daniel (and presumably me) in. Daniel seems unperturbed.

* Sandra wasn’t like that but I think she featured in my dream because I saw a photo of someone that reminded me of her yesterday.

“Searching for Carmen”
I’m looking for Carmen’s house for a party (I was invited to her baby’s christening yesterday). I’ve come so far following the map but now I’m uncertain. I find myself in an unfamiliar place (it’s “Kernel” in the dream) with a long pier made of dark grey metal jutting out into an ocean I barely notice. I’ve rung G on the phone and I’m looking at the map where I’ve scribbled the address in pencil. I only remember the number now, 4, though there’s a temporary moment where I think it’s 5. I tell G I think I’m close and I think I’ll walk the rest of the way but I’m not sure of my orientation. For at least part of this conversation he appears to be with me physically. Then H is there too and there’s a lot of fog or smoke around us. I tell him to “go inside” because I don’t want him breathing it.

Now I’m inside an apartment complex. There’s something about one of the apartments belonging to Carmen. I walk into a common area where two actors are performing something modern and maybe absurdist. One is a plump, balding male in his sixties.

I realize I’ll not find the party in this complex; I need to return to my starting point and follow through with my initial plan. I walk some more and find myself in a busy transportation hub with an arching ceiling and trains operating. I’m a bit confused by this because I hadn’t noticed any railway infrastructure on first look.

12^th January, 2012
Thursday

Can only remember the last one now – (too many yoga classes and I sleep so heavily).

I’m at Brent and Kylie’s* and decide I want to get into bed with them. Their bedroom doesn’t have the correct orientation and seems to be in the northwest but up at the same level (which is impossible because of the layout of the tri-level home). I jump in and I’m feeling affectionate and silly and give them a good cuddle. In doing so, I displace the blankets and see Kylie is just in her undies. From this information I somehow assume the two were about to become amorous and I’m embarrassed now that I disturbed their intimacy but they don’t seem to mind ~

I’m outside with Brent and we’re watching hundreds of UFOs in the sky. Some are really peculiar, one reminding me of a metallic(?) prawn - sort of. It seems kind of shaggy – hard to envision now. I comment on their variety and the rare event of seeing the prawn-like one.

*These guys are a young couple that became our tenants when we couldn’t sell our house (which Kylie’s parents subsequently bought). In the way these things go, Brent got a job at my former workplace and needed a place for his family to live. He was working with my husband and we all became friends, a relationship probably deepened when Brent ran afoul of some individuals and became victim to the poor management there and subsequently had to find himself a new job.

13^th January, 2012.
Friday

“The old guy”

Partially recalled.

I’m driving a car but I’m either too small or slumped down and I can’t see where I’m going. There’s an older man in the passenger seat, like a father figure but not quite. He’s urging me to drive. It appears a police car pursues but then it doesn’t. The father figure has somehow taken care of it.

We’ve reached our destination. I cannot remember enough about the place except that I pick up a baby, which I think must be mine. I carry her outside to continue the journey and I’m on a wooden porch. I hear the old man warn me and begin to feel a falling sensation, which I’m able to withdraw from because of the old man’s call. I look down and see a hole in the porch that I almost dropped through.

“Dog food”
I’m feeding the dog and find myself located in the backyard at my childhood home#. For some reason I’m giving her food out of a tin (I mix a bagged food with cooked vegetables for my dog IWR). Something’s not right. I notice a small swarm of bees on the back step (which is wrongly located around the side). They form a knob and they’re hardly moving. I wonder if the bees are dying and, if so, why. ~

A white bulldog has wandered into the front yard. The gate is open and Bella is wandering through to encounter the other dog#. I don’t know I can trust her and I attempt to grab her by the collar so I can hold her while I close the gate. She’s not wearing her collar and the gate is the heavy, sagging thing from my childhood home. ~

When I loosen the food out of the tin, I notice a larger tin has been emptied previously and she hasn’t touched it. I don’t want to leave this older dog food there to go bad so I pick it up and carry it a short distance across the yard. I find a small squared off maze dug into the ground and I figure it’s some game my brother has been playing. I throw the dog food in there, even though it’s not exactly burying it.

#Recurring. Has triggered lucidity in the past.
~Indicates where there’s a lack of continuity in the narrative structure of the dream.

“Weirdness at Linda’s class”
I’m in the yoga studio with Linda and Wolfgang and few other women. It appears we’re there for a class by Linda except we seem to have been present for well over an hour and she hasn’t started.

A lady gives me some cheesecake to try and I accept it. I notice it’s a mixture of creamy and cakey in texture but I don’t really experience its taste.

Now I notice Linda appears to be teaching something. Has she been doing so all along? This doesn’t look like any yoga I know; it’s more dance-like. I notice a garter on her thigh with a really big frilly flower on it and her thigh is unusually chubby. I’m confused: how has this come about? Does the lesson break down again with Wolfgang entering and talking about something like cleaning the studio?

You seem to pick up a lot of babies in the course of your dreams. ;)

God, they never stop, Oliver! I swear I was a midwife or a wet nurse in a past life!:lol:

15^th January, 2012.
Sunday.

“The Entertainers”

I live on a busy road and I’m heading into town where I’ll find shops to entertain me. I ride my bike and I’m extremely swift, loving the feeling of flow and movement. ~

I’m home with Mum and I tell her I bought some foundation makeup that will match my skin tones better now I’ve become brown with summer. Mum is annoyed because she wanted me to have something more expensive done to my skin, like a peel or something. This actually feels like the childhood pressure I felt from my mother when she had ideas about what would be beneficial and enhancing for me and I would resist, feeling her additions were unnecessary. I look in the mirror and see that I’m freckly, younger, plump-faced and red haired. I don’t think too much of it other than a vague notion that I don’t remember looking this way. I try to apply the new makeup but it doesn’t really cover the freckles – it’s not right for my new complexion. In any case I justify it to Mum. ~

I want something again so I’m on my bike speeding into town. ~

I’m flying now and loving it. For fun I materialize a broom and fly witch style. I speak to other people as I pass them ~

I’m looking in a display cabinet. Once upon a time there were things here that represented me but no more. Now there are many small items, many of them belonging to a band of children performers. There is the occasional brooch making a stylised letter that I can read. I look but there’s nothing of mine left and then another person is beside me so I leave because I don't feel like sharing the space. I wonder why nobody steals from the cabinet as it’s unsecured.

I’m in a playground and feel like I’m semi on duty. I begin to sing, making up a song, loud and booming and fabulous. I’m feeling creative: the tune is catchy and the lyrics roll. They’re about a woman, an ordinary housewife, but somehow the lyrics become a tribute - not quite, however, The Ballad of Lucy Jordan because there’s much more humour. I surprise myself with what comes out of my mouth (as happens in WR when I make up a song on the spot for my own pleasure). I attract some of the children and continue to sing without self-consciousness. They seem entertained and I’m enjoying showing off as one does entertaining children; enjoying the fun they’re experiencing. I stop singing and talk to some girls.* ~

Now an understanding unfolds: these children are entertainers. They’re special, gifted children, like Michael Jackson, but there’s also a slight underlying sense of something not quite right about their environment and carers.~

I’m leaving the house again, getting on my bike. Something’s wrong: I’ve forgotten something like makeup or clothes or shoes. I go back to the place of the children.

I’m indoors with the children. A younger boy sits to my right on a couch and smothers me with affection. That’s what I feel: a starving for affection, attention and entertainment. I want to help them. I can feel that they want to come with me.~

Outside now, I look for my bike in a big, empty car park surrounded by wire mesh. I can’t find it but there’s a bus there now so I guess I’ll board that instead. The children are there and I sit towards the back among them. As we travel I briefly worry about my bike being left behind or is it that I am shoeless?

I’m facing backwards on my seat and start to entertain the children with psychokinesis. At first I make something fly out of the hand of a child behind me into my hand. There’s some surprise and enjoyment but I can see they want to see it again and figure out the trick. So, I send whatever-it-was (food?) back. There’s some delight so I continue. Now various children want me to take something from their hands and make it fly. I indulge them, ending with a boy diagonally across the aisle. There’s a voiceover like a documentary as we pass some bushes. It explains that the flowers on a bush once grew pink but now they’re brown – they start off brown because the plant is old. G takes their attention now, putting a flower into his mouth and showing them how to such the nectar out.~

I’m at a café and there’s one of the entertainer children there. I spot her and then another approaches. They’re too old to belong to the troop. I know I will help them find a place to live.

*Recently some former students were in a yoga class I gave. They’re 19 now and I taught them in junior high school. It was nice catching up.

One of the girls, who came first on her own and returned with the other, was struck down severely with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, from which she still suffers. During her illness became friends with another girl with a terminal disease, whom ultimately died. Tegan turned to art to express her pain and so discovered a talent she didn’t know she had and the path of the artist is the path she has subsequently chosen.

Additional note:

I'm posting this now because we took off to Sydney pretty soon after I typed it. It was interesting that in Sydney every step we took seemed to lead us to some kind of artistic expression. We stopped in Charles Billich's art gallery, found ourselves at some markets where a spray-can artist gave a display and where we watched a street performer. Later we headed to Circular Quay and saw more performers. In the evening we wandered the streets and kept find sculptures and installations that were nothing short of delightful.

Between time, when we took a rest in our room, I switched on the TV and watched a documentary on the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and then on the Pixar animators. It was as if everything lined up to suggest art and creativity and the joys these things create in the world.

Attachment 334

Birdcage installation - one of the things we discovered wandering down the lanes of Sydney. Surreal.:-)

17^th January, 2012.
Tuesday

“Three Sisters”

I’m looking at an A4 size photo of Elle Macpherson and her two sisters. I interpret them as dressed for a wedding, though it may be they’re dressed all three as bridesmaids as I can’t see one as a bride. As it look at the image on the paper in my hand it changes every few seconds like a screen saver or a newspaper image in Harry Potter.

Note: I have no idea why I would have this dream. I wasn’t even sure Elle Macpherson had two sisters – I knew about the older one but not the younger one.

“Work Anxiety”
I’ve just taught a class in a room and another teacher, a woman I don’t know, has entered and is preparing to use the space. I don’t know where I’m supposed to be and I’m scrutinizing my timetable but I cannot read in this dream. Eventually I make a decision and head to a classroom. Inside the students are male and female.



While I'm here, I should revisit 10th January, 2012, “Searching for Carmen” because it had precognitive qualities. Our family went to a place called Cataract Dam for a picnic a few days after the dream. It was something G suggested out of the blue and we hadn't been there before.
Some parts of the experience felt strangely familiar, even though there weren't exact correspondences to the dream:
* "...with a long pier made of dark grey metal jutting out into an ocean I barely notice," was actually a grey bridge across the dam made of darkened sandstone.
* "I’ve rung G on the phone and I’m looking at the map where I’ve scribbled the address in pencil." We left the dam sooner than intended because there were signs saying "no dogs" and G was losing his nerve. G was driving and didn't want to go home yet. He was looking for a lookout he'd heard of but passed it and announced that he didn't know where we were. I asked if he wanted me to get out the sat nav but he worked it out using his sense of direction. As we discussed checking a map, we passed a coal transport track that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere and H asked what it was for - "I’m a bit confused by this because I hadn’t noticed any railway infrastructure on first look." He told me he knew where we were now and it was not far from Heath and Courtney's place. I stated that wasn't far from my friend Carmen either, as she coincidentally lives on the same street: “Searching for Carmen.”

Many dreams seem to be status updates of the elementals. Elle (would that actually be Elle "The Body" Macpherson? ;) ) could have been your mental body , and the two sisters suggest that astral and physical-etheric are in close alignment. Sisters suggest a certain similarity of nature while not being the same, as usually you can tell likeness in siblings but still do not consider them all-too similar.

Bridesmaids both hint at similarity (shared "uniform") and also at a possibility of an upcoming union of male and female elements (as marriage is usually seen in energetic terms, a coming together of yin and yang). The similarity to magical photographs in the Potter books could indicate the magical nature of this self-reading, and similarly also denote that it is an ongoing reading, not just a one-shot picture. You're looking at a "live" representation of your energy bodies.

It's very interesting that while one sister is prominent (in that you know her) none is presented as the bride, showing a certain egality among the sisters. This could indicate a good, even balance, that while you're developing your mental body you're not leaving other bodies behind and do not promote one over the other. Elle Macpherson could also represent health/beauty regarding the development of your energy bodies.

Perhaps you're right, Oliver. This analysis at least gives such a dream purpose, not that I've been contemplating these things of late. And now you mention it, I've got a vague recollection of you responding to a similar though less harmonious version of this dream in the past. Thanks, I would have missed that possibility.

18^th January, 2012
Wednesday

“Laid back Prinicipal”
I’m a schoolgirl and the principal is running an assembly. He seems to be my principal from senior high school sometimes and my former boss at other times. He’s extremely easy going and kids are allowed to talk at assembly. I guess I’m happier with this relaxed approach than any other – I did particularly like my principal from senior high and my boss ended up not such a bad guy either.

Now I’m headed for the girls’ toilets. I pass a bunch of other schoolgirls, one of them being R Brown with whom I went to school in my high school days. I notice she’s wearing a brown-checkered tunic that seems to stand out from the other uniforms*. I’m not sure why her uniform is different and decide it must be the summer uniform and she’s changed over early. I see another girl with a variation on R’s uniform: a decorative yellow flowery frill at the chest that makes it prettier.

I see the group of girls headed for the same toilet block and I decide that I’ll head elsewhere so I don’t have to wait in line. I have a key in my hand that gives me access to another toilet, a cleaner block. I’m not sure exactly where it is yet.

*Uniforms are worn in most Australian schools but this dream uniform isn’t what we actually wore. R's dress was probably a reference to her maiden surname. Variation in the uniform may also be linked to the Macpherson dream about which Oliver just commented.

“Zali”
I’m on a small ladder looking down at a child that represents Zali but isn’t quite her. Louise is busy nearby. Zali has a stiff, semi upright poster by her side and I can only see its back as it leans bent against the ladder. We talk about it briefly. I think I ask her if it’s new.

She’s doing something naughty and I think I say I won’t take her to a movie if she’s naughty. Then she and Louise are gone and Rod is there. We begin a conversation.~

Note:
G’s snoring wakes me at this point. I haven’t seen Zali for a long time and the dream doesn’t represent our relationship so, in the light of Oliver's reading, I imagine she represents an elemental.

“Pursued”
I’m with my sister Jacquie and she’s a young teenager. She’s much taller than in WR and much more slender than she’s been for years. I feel a vague sense of strangeness at the difference in her appearance.~

Now something is pursuing us – probably a wraith because my family has been watching the Stargate Atlantis series of an evening. I’m in the home where I was raised and I hide behind a curtain in the lounge room while Jacquie and another unknown person head off towards the bedrooms. The monster comes in from the backyard and enters the room. I sense it looking my way. I keep very still behind the curtain.

Again, I’m awakened by snoring. I had been thinking about dream shadow work earlier in the day. I suspect I programmed this dream to some extent. It would have been interesting to see it play out.

19^th January, 2012.
Thursday.

Was distracted by numerous things I needed to do today and forgot to record until now. All I can recall now is ice-skating and being shown how to manoeuvre on skates by more experienced people.

Note: Singing along to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” earlier in the day probably inspired the dream imagery:
If you should go skating
On the thin ice of modern life
Dragging behind you the silent reproach
Of a million tear-stained eyes…

I used to have wonderful ice skating dreams- they are my favorite.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by C.F

I used to have wonderful ice skating dreams- they are my favorite.

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Any kind of swift movement dreams appeal to me: iceskates, skateboards, surfboards, bicycle riding, flying - it's all good.:lol:

20^th January, 2012.
Friday.

“Distressed baby”
In the first properly recalled dream I’m caring for a baby again (yeah, I know :roll:). It’s very vivid. He’s very young and he doesn’t want me to put him down so, even though he’s small, he becomes awkward to carry. I have a sheet wrapped around him and he’s a bit sweaty. He’s distressed and I realize he needs to be fed but he’s on a bottle and all I have are a couple of new bottles that haven’t been sterilized. I need to sterilize them and mix formula for him with sterile water but it’ll be hot and need cooling and he wants in now (thank God I breastfed IWR!). G is there but he’s not helping.

Note: Something’s missing from this dream. Perhaps there are dogs involved. I don’t even know where to insert the ~ to indicate where it’s missing from.

“Wealth and Anger”
I doubt I’ll be able to get this dream in anything like its accurate order. I remember seeing “myself” from a 3^rd person perspective at one stage and I’m still a woman but I look different. I’m older with darker curly hair and dark brown eyes. Intuitively, I feel I’m Greek and I perhaps look like my friend and colleague Helen L. When I see myself like this, I have my arms raised as I realize that inside this persona I’m very wealthy and this makes me feel powerful. ~
G shows me around upstairs rooms – a public place for private dining.~
I’m there alone momentarily. I walk carefully around a modest dining setting on the floor when a woman approaches hurriedly to tell me I shouldn’t be here. It’s her duty to keep the area pristine until the guests arrive. She tells me things about it and about myself too. ~ She reveals to me that I am the owner of prime real estate in the city centre that I didn’t know I possessed and I feel a sense of privilege.~ We descend stairs as I listen.

I’m on a busy street with G. I’m talking about something and he ignores me to watch a Monty Python (?) trailer being broadcast on a billboard. I become angry with him because it seems he’s always doing this kind of thing and I feel he takes me for granted. We have an argument but I can’t remember details. Now a man is beside me. He reminds me of Kevin Spacey and he’s acting in the capacity of a counselor. He asks questions and I tell him how I feel. ~ His presence is soothing.

Now I’m with G again and he wants help with an expression. It’s something I said earlier in the dream but he wasn’t listening and now he can’t say the expression correctly. I laugh at him.

Note: I was annoyed at G. He’d woken at 3.30am to the sound of our 17 year old, who seems to have a nighttime aversion to his bed or is expressing some kind of teen gene for nocturnalism, and he couldn’t suffer in silence. So he woke me in turn, with the bathroom light and his complaining, and I took quite some time to get back to sleep.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CFTraveler

I used to have wonderful ice skating dreams- they are my favorite.

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"Skating" is one of my most frequent modes of transport during my nightly experiences. It's more like, hovering 1 cm off the ground. Exhilarating, especially when you're really moving quickly, and cornering :D

In "Laid Back Principal" you might have passed into a low state of lucidity. You felt drawn to effect a release (go to the toilet) to achieve an even higher degree of lucidity, but never quite made it to the required state of consciousness. Some inner sense actitvity as you spot difference in the way people dress (standing out in school uniform must have been some energetic trait you spotted in them). The school/schoolgirl theme suggests the astral.

"Pursued" could be a childhood fear release. I experience such dreams at rather regular intervals, and an element of childhood is usually present. They seem to lessen over time in terms of intensity. The shadow work might have triggered it, as when the "astral closet" is emptied, the shadow loses its power. Such dreams defuse fears not easily consciously accessible as they might even date back to even before we had words or concepts to phrase our fears.

The skating dream sounds like a session in learning control of an energy body.

If we could crack the symbols surrounding your nourishment/care/baby dreams, we'd hit the mother-lode. ;)

"Wealth and Anger" could have been about a past life.

21^st January, 2012.
Saturday.

“The Kittens, the Marionette-Boy and the Storm”
I’m in a house where there are many people, including Marie and her kids. Marie sits behind me on a barstool at a kitchen counter and our bodies are half turned to one another. She’s just said something that makes no sense about visiting her new boyfriend (Marie is happily married). This catches my awareness as odd and I think I’ve misheard. I try to get her to clarify. ~

I’m staring into what I think is an empty fishbowl when suddenly and delightfully a goldfish materializes. Now I notice a very tiny kitten swimming in the bowl and immediately fish it out. I wonder how long it was there and how it was able to survive. There’s a second fishbowl and a second kitten only a tiny bit larger so I fish it out as well and I play with them. They’re sweet and I enjoy myself but I sense some threat to them, perhaps there are too many people in the room, and I take them into a room to play where I can close the door.

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. I open it to discover a marionette-boy and I’m immediately suspicious of his intent, thinking him someway demonic. He’s not there for the kittens as I imagined, however, he wants me to pick him up and show him affection as if he were my own child. With very little reluctance, I do so and he is indeed nothing to be concerned about. Perhaps he feels more real as he wraps his little arms around my neck.

I’m in the lounge room of my childhood home I’m talking to Amanda M.~ Suddenly there’s a change, an alteration in the energy that heralds some kind of unexpected threat and yet something I know about too. The windows fly open and the wind blows through, the curtains flapping. I tell Amanda what we must do but I don’t remember what I say exactly. We begin moving towards the back rooms of the house. As we pass the area near the front door, multiple wall-mounted television sets, stacked one above the other, switch on and play noisily. ~

Something about speaking on the phone or multiple phones.~

In here somewhere I also read a Facebook message from Ashleigh S. IWR I had been helping her with a uni essay and, when I had gotten up through the night awakened by G’s snoring and unable to return to sleep, I had checked Facebook and answered another one of her questions. In the dream, there had been a response to that answer and, while I was perfectly capable of reading it, it made no sense in light of the ongoing conversation. I can’t recall it now.

More recall from yesterday: I remember dreaming a false awakening and telling someone in the dream I must be having a false awakening but without possessing genuine lucidity.

22^nd January, 2012.
Sunday.

“School dream - late to class”
I’m in a school environment, in an unfamiliar classroom, looking at an exam paper. It is apparently a senior paper, the first based on a new syllabus and I’m considering using it with a class. I’m looking at the picture on the front of the paper, which appears to be in sepia tones or faded colour at best and represents a large group of people. I’m feeling immersed in my work and comfortable in my environment, as though I’ve worked here a long time. I read through some of the paper, penciling answers and then I decide I cannot use it for teaching because someone is bound to want to use it or parts of it for testing.

I look at the time, or sense it, and realize I have 5 minutes until the start bell. I don’t want to be late but I decide I have time to walk across to the toilets.

~I’m in a larger classroom with a lot of glass windows. I can’t recall why I entered here but there was a reason – a response to something. I seem to have opened the room right up by removing parts of the wall to the outside. Girl students find me and begin to chat in the familiar and friendly way of the students of my former workplace. They keep coming for a while and I enjoy their company. There’s some talk about a new uniform* and I respond to them by saying something about the teachers’ new uniform, which I immediately know is wrong because teachers don’t generally wear uniforms.

Tables of food appear in one corner of the room and there’s a woman preparing for an impending event of which I know nothing. Suddenly a group of dark skinned women, like islanders, with black curly hair, come in together and begin sing and dance in what is possibly a traditional performance or a celebration of their having arrived at the school.

~I’m passing at some distance modern brick classroom blocks with double storeys. I hear Peter M’s voice# on the PA announcing that his son has a girlfriend with a joking tone, as if his son attends the school and he’s enjoying teasing him. Hearing an announcement makes me realize that I’ve missed the bell and I’m late to a class that must be waiting for me, so I hurry.

*Recurring lately.
# He’s the prinicipal from my last workplace and about to be come the principal at my current workplace.

23^rd January, 2012
Monday

“Bear Chase”
I cannot remember the sequence for this dream. It was long but essentially the plot was simple: being pursued by a grizzly bear. The environments were internal domestic areas and outdoors and there were several interactions with characters, as if it were a movie. At the end of the dream the bear had been placated and subdued somewhat. A woman explained to me that it was relieving the last of its anger and I could see it in a bedroom (my childhood bedroom?) tearing the blinds with his claws.