Nursing babies

Oh probably DO Richard. The, pleasure I get from growing seeds into plants I can not describe. Out of all the tomato plants grown from seed my most treasured are the cucumber plants that didn't take. So in exasperation I poured boiling water over the soil . ( your going to seed !!! Even if I have to kill you in the process) they are 2 inches high with 4 leaves. But the most precious of all is the tiny single chilli plant. Thought was dead. Roots disturbed. Attentive care with water , soil over roots , sun, it has two new tiny leaves only 1/4 centimetre long but it is growing.
For anyone reading this thinking ' What on earth has this got to do with this OBE site?.
I feel , if you can not feel the passion in witnessing some form of growth , then look for it. Look for something that gives you pleasure and can you expand on it and see the progress?
Just had to say

Beautiful, Susan. The metaphor of a caring growth is universal to most any pursuit. BTW I thought peppers were nigh incorrigible. Like they grow like weeds in the nastiest conditions. I must be a chilli pepper myself, ha ha. Drought, flood, wind and hail, I'll come back and that's pretty..... you know.

Been doing bit of homework on Kurt Leland's perception and understanding of different types of dreams and where we are in dream .
( Dreaming research forum)
The problem I have is becoming lucid in the dream . So many OBEs and remembered dreams that may have had no relevance to anything going on in my physical life , but I think the most convincing recalled dream where I think spirit were encouraging me to wake up was the other nights dream.
Dream.
Standing at a bus stop and someone approaches me and tells me to wait at this stop as a bus is coming this way soon.
He waits with me.
Bus arrives and the bus driver tells me I don't have to pay. But the driver had the ugliest face heavily painted in green.( this was the first time I saw a witch type face. ) It was so ugly it was funny. In the dream as I go to my seat I think. " why does he look he's in fancy dress" his face turns and watches me as I take my seat.
All the occupants of the bus arrive at this building after the bus takes a very fast sharp corner.
Everyone gets off and goes into the building but I'm not allowed in. I haven't got a ticket. I hear a young girl just inside upset because she doesn't know her father. Friends console her and one says " I have a picture of my brother you can have it."
( I can understand that bit due to a previous experience recorded here. )
As I sit outside the scenery turns to snow that I hadn't noticed before and from the building comes.........
ROUND BALLS the size of humans. They were laughing and bouncing down hill in the snow. as soon as I saw them I got an image of young boys rolling out of a pub just having a laugh. Next someone fully kitted in a space suit comes hopping along in the snow.( I perceived him as another one of the young happy drunks. They all shout to me as they roll down the hill laughing and tell me I should join them. I remember sitting on the bench thinking that they were having so much fun and I seemed to be working out at the time that I was meant to perceive them as they were just for a bit of fun.( but this was all remembered as a dream . )
I feel sure this was an attempt to help me wake up. Just didn't work but lovely to recall. Quite happy when woke up.

This dream seems to resemble what Kurt Leland describes as ' After the Fact lucidity'
Also at the beginning of the dream when I was walking to the bus stop this was my physical home setting ( which he suggests may be your own dream space) When we arrived at the destination on the bus after a sharp corner the setting changed to new territory unknown to me .( this may have been the switch from my own space to the astral) ....................or not.

Got a shock this am .
Woke 4 am. No recall of dream. Little energy raising but soon fell asleep.
Dreamt was walking onto my conservatory in real life and could see my neighbour in his garden . I sat down with a paper and looked up from it , when my neighbour is sitting right in front of me smiling. My recalled thoughts were that he shouldn't be there, he was in his garden a second ago. This gave me such a shock that I woke up with a start and felt the electric shock tingle right through my body.

I need to understand more about our selves. I feel I need to read more . I can not get enough reading but there are not enough hours in the day for that and work and energy work. Everything in physical is as I would want it . Would not want to change a thing ( apart from maybe living on a beach with my greenhouse at the side) .
So why aren't I content? Why am I frustrated at the lack of time to understand more.
All my astral travel experiences visiting other realities were experienced well before this journal started. Everything in the last two years has seemed to be planned rather than explored by me.
One vision that I didn't record still has me thinking .( approx 6 weeks ago)
One morning with no recall of dream saw upon wakening ,
The singer Madonna in a black trouser suite. Behind her were two young children . One was a girl of about 4 years of age and the other was a boy of the same age and they were wearing the same trouser suite. They were holding hands and smiling and were going to kiss but they both had what appeared like white paper stuffed in their mouths so they couldn't. ( maybe they couldn't talk) . I just don't know .

Can only remember the last part to a dream and think it's related to what I posted above but will record for journal.
Dream
I was in a class where someone was struggling.( well that's not a surprise) .
We went into another room where the bed was not made. She dropped to the floor as if no energy.( aha light bulb moment whilst writing this) I picked her up from the floor and supported her. We went to the window where people had come to sing Christmas carols. She collapsed again to the floor. I picked her up and she was so floppy. We were up a level and were looking down on them through the window. She didn't have the energy to go down to the door to answer it in time so they left. I could hear them singing.
I was holding her and told her that I wouldn't leave her. I will always be with her. In the dream as I woke up I could feel the cuddle I gave her .
Woke up approx 5 am from this did little energy work but really cozy.... Just sleep......
Woke up to seeing a picture of pastel colours, then another picture of same colours but took different shape. Then another picture with same colours but different pattern. Now I hear the click from a camera many times and I see one picture that has all the pictures made up to the one picture. I was being asked a question . What do you see? In my mind I replied " all the pictures made into one."

Now I'm not stupid this is relevant to what is going on with me in my thoughts . But there is an inner intelligence that does not show through in physical that seems to be speaking to me in my dreams.

Wow, well had another experience that I can not forget. Not sure how to describe this.
OBE. Lucid dream? Simulation? I don't know but what I can say is that all day I have been going over and over it in my mind and I can not forget it until I write it down. If this was just a dream then why does it leave such an impact on me .
Will record the lead up this ,then the experience .
But I need to do some homework on this one as there are similarities appearing and Kurt's writing may guide me into understanding more so will at a later date add to this post my feelings .
( feel I've been here before with the space station in space)
Here goes.

Lead up to this.
Sunday morning woke up to " it isn't Wednesday yet"
Monday morning remembered a dream where I'm on a beach on holiday and there's only two days left till I go home.
Wednesday morning remembered a dream similar to others recorded here about entering a plane at the back. Was told it was full so I could try the middle section for a seat but the partition was closed so I had to leave the plane to get to the middle seating area. The doors closed I couldn't get back on.
But on recalling this dream it seemed to be a tease. As if I was being teased about flying or not.

Wednesday night settled down to nights sleep after a days work , one glass of wine with dinner , early night. Slept till 2.35.
Little energy work when feet and legs started to tingle. Could feel the energy travelling up to my knees. Carried on till energy got stronger and legs got lighter and lighter and now I'm up and above body. No astral noise, no vibrations.raising high. No vision at this stage but could feel movement along and to the right.
I knew an OBE was in progress and could now see as if I'm flitting fast through a dimly lit ground floor of a department store.
Next thing I'm floating to the ground and someone is behind me.
This is like a really large cafeteria. Full of people, so many standing and sitting round large round tables , but the first thing I noticed were the people at the front at the food section. They were not earth humans. Almost like something out of Star Trek.( had this before) We went over to the middle of the room where there was a large table with empty seats and a few people sitting round it. As we approached a woman at the table showed me where to sit and says. " So you wanted to meet us. You've arrived". A lady in her early 30s approached to talk to her and as she did I was assessing the situation, that I'd OBEd and was here in a room with people who looked like me and people who took on different non human like features.this lady was petite, human form but her facial features were different in that her chin was much longer which seemed strange.
A suggestion was made that we went over to the end of the room where there was a massive window. I did and this was the incredible thing . It was like looking down onto a massive stadium full of people and we were above this. Next thing we are down in the crowd and it's massive. Nothing like I've experienced before , thousands of people. They were having a great time. As I followed who I was with I noticed they were walking so I wondered why , so decided to skim the floor and float. Yes this worked. ( so why did they walk when they could have floated? ) Was thinking this at the time and wondered if this was protocol they followed ( remembered previous obe)
As we were going on to the massive stage with thousands of people on ( there was an entertainer in the middle doing the music people were dancing to) ...............things faded and I must have gone to sleep.
Woke up trying to make sense of this. It was 5.30 am. Asked for assistance here in understanding what this had been, a dream of no relevance? An OBE, to where? A simulation for my attention , but meaning what? ( needed help here before I analysed in day time. )

Picked up me taking things out of a locker in a changing room, talking to a girl who was just arriving and she was stuffing things into a locker. She tells me the teacher is lovely with everyone. Felt this was a changing room.
Had similar before.
Must do some homework on this one as there are similarities from previous experiences but a complete surprise. Certainly nothing to do with anything like this on my mind at the time.

All day I've felt frustrated. Something lovely there that I would like to revisit and be part of again.

I need now to attempt to understand what the above post was about, but first,

Similarities.

1) Floating through a dimly lit department store.
2) Prior hints to an event about to take place.
3) floating down to the ground and floating instead of walking.
4) The locker room/ changing room and both times a reference to a teacher. ( Harry potter type dream. Page 12, (9/9/13) )
and the beautiful feathered sky which I felt was protection at the end .( page 22 '( 29/01/14)
All three involving locker rooms and leaving me with the same amazement.
5) the massive window/glass wall and looking down/out at amazement at what was below. ( Harry potter)
6) Losing consciousness just shortly after arriving down below. ( Harry potter).
7) Non human form characters looking like star trek characters.

So reading some of Kurts beliefs.

A) everything you see is an image your mind has supplied for an energy perceived on the astral plane.
B) all environments in non physical reality are made of consciousness/ energy/ information.
C) aliens perceived are conscious beings ( robots) of a simulation that can report back to teacher. ( a good sign that the inner senses are working)

From this I strongly feel that the previous post was a simulation due to the star trek characters. I had been given prior hints that an event was approaching. The story to the event took me to think that I had finally been taken to meet a guide as I have sent many requests to do.The problem here is that I am starting to use my senses more and when I've experienced shadowy figures , fun balls,or fun space men, i have sensed how they wanted to be perceived male presence or female. I've felt either fun from them or a fondness from them and towards them. Even when I perceived a space station and met with the alien type men the main person came across as a male and I felt much fondness from him. ( he was a genuine I'm sure) If this woman posted above was a guide I felt nothing.
So I have to think what was this for.?
I think the large window was the exit out of the simulation into the astral plane.( kurt gives a similar example)
I believe what I experienced once leaving the simulation was astral and boy were they having fun. The same I believe happened with the harry potter event and once again they were having so much fun down below.

End of dream this morning I'm going to the telephone and have to make two calls to two Nuns.

Bit more homework on Kurt's advice on the chakra systems and developing inner senses has opened my eyes to just how much help we get guiding us through the learning and development process.
I know I've had a few OBEs that could have frightened me if I had let them but luckily I knew these had to be tests. The one that had me plummeting to and through the ground was a corker . I hope the fear issue is maybe dealt with.

A year ago I experienced a contact with a shadowy energy during an OBE which was in the corner of the room whilst the characters were talking to me in a doctors room.
( I had a condition that I thought was more serious than it was at the time, and during this OBE the characters talked to me telling me the doctor didn't want to see me yet, it was hormonal and my blood was diamond.) At the end of their chat this shadowy figure came up and sat next to me and opened a book and told me to look. I felt much warmth from him and fondness and sympathy. It then ended.
Due to Kurt's writing on inner senses coming into play I've done a recap of journal to see when some of these senses were starting to show.


24/3/13 elderly lady who had died but was perceived by me at first as she may have been thought of by people in physical.

7/4/13. Mushroom. This grew in size and as I put my ear to it it was singings with a beautiful soft voice and I just knew it was for teaching young geography. ( could young refer to souls training in school like conditions?)

21/4/13 sensing these were friends.

16/8/13 OBE working out at the time that the person who looked like my mother wasnt

17/9/13. Moses basket, shadowy figure but knew it was a woman.
Within this same story the book that told a story, feelings of emotion.

22/10/13 Recalled as a dream but described a smoky grey cloud coming towards me which I knew was a truck.

6/4/14. OBE. Perceived a shadow in what I took to be my bedroom ( thought to be RTZ by me) . The shadow gave me a thought
that he wanted to see me.

14/5/14. Seen as big round balls but got the thought and impression of young men rolling out of a pub just having a laugh.( I saw
them as balls first then saw how I felt they wanted me to also see them )

29/5/14. Finally the last OBE seeing the Star Trek like characters ( aliens)

During this review of the journal something else has got my attention.

4/3/14
I seemed to be getting instructions on spinning chakras.

18/4/14
Much celebration at an airport terminal with a famous celebrity and I was given a special green coat.( every one else was given
black.)
22/4/14
During the semi wake stage deciding to do some NEWS saw a square take shape with 4 inside
Also picked up " the heart chakra is now open".

Could this last one have been letting me know that the heart chakra (4th) ) was now open because I just didn't get it the first
time when given a green coat 4 days previously ?

Yesterday morning picked up upon wakening " your Peter Pan, that I am " this sounded a lovely gentle voice.

The wording is I think to get me thinking .

1) Your Peter Pan .........could suggest this person is taking ME out and about

2) """""""""""""""" ..........could suggest I AM Peter Pan.


3) """""""""""""""". ........ could suggest This Person and Me are the same.

I go with 3. Especially after the OBE where the hand was wearing my old wedding ring.

There is such a lovely mystery to knowing there are parts of you you don't know ( at present) and this person has a lovely way
of surprising me. I just love it.
There is a very distinct difference between another communication that comes through that called itself " My Infinate
Father"
This morning this person came through and had a stronger more masculine tone almost. Advice was given in symbols
which was very relevant to physical ( been over spending a bit and feeling a bit guilty,) saw a tiny white purse and heard
" Treasures are found in here" I knew what it meant and thought it through when I heard " Another time" and immediately
saw the front of my I pad with a red square flash up in the right hand corner saying Congratulations Your a Winner.
I just knew this meant that I was right in my interpretation.


Something I forgot to record just incase it links in to anything in the future .
I saw me standing at a table with different sheets of drawings and gave them to a man. He gave me one back and asked me to look at it and tell him what I see. ( I knew that I hadn't drawn it)
It was a hedgehog being held so you could see the underneath of it. But instead of the body of a hedgehog it was a man.
( don't think there was anymore to that)


All that's coming to mind at the moment is a man with thorns on him( his head) Jesus.
Previously, I had to call two nuns,
In the past I've picked up a man looking like Jesus with his hands in the prayer position sitting at a table.
The beautiful Christmas tags with loving religious faces on them.
I think we are constantly being encouraged to raise our thoughts to a higher level.

Done bit more homework on Kurt Leland's understanding of developing Relational Senses. This maybe useful for me to have here to see where I am or not with these to save opening his book for future experiences.
But first up to now.

RELATIONAL SENSES.
These senses will allow projectors to the astral planes and higher to interact with the beings we
encounter providing us with non physical social skills which in turn helps us to know who are friends are.

1st). Co- operation.
When this is worked on and understood it enables us to meet and communicate with non physical entities .
He notes that FEAR must be overcome in the non physical reality,pointing out that many projectors enter with fear of
the unknown and entities they encounter ( not being able to distinguish between friend or foe) therefore as thought
creates experience travellers often create their own chaotic terrifying realities.

2nd). Vibration.
( one of the most important inner senses for astral travellers)
Our consciousness reaches out to others. Vibrational senses allows us to register and translate the information
about the consciousness we have encountered, pointing out that Munroe calls this process receiving Indents and
Leadbeater calls this Mystic Cords.

3rd) Communication.
This he writes allows us to converse telepathically with non physical entities .However our level of spiritual development
determines what we can understand from them, noting that if this skill is not working the message may come across as
** garbled and unintelligible .

4th). Information.
Seth describes this as the ability to understand and appreciate information in its entirety all at once.
( thought being information)
** Development of this allows us to recognise thought forms as conscious entities allowing us to receive
messages between communicators.

5th) Permeation
This is described as completely merging with another being so every aspect of consciousness blends with the
other being, experiencing the world from that beings perspective without loosing you own identity.

************************************************** **********

Thoughts.

Co- operation.
So once again pointing out that fear has to be addressed and it has been by me. I wondered at times why the yellow flies kept cropping up but that explains why. Done with.....forget...( I hope) I didn't instigate these flies as I wasn't frightened at the time so this shows we are being helped from the other side.

Vibration.
I think these are coming into play slowly . Examples of shadows and knowing what they are and are telling me is starting to show through.

Communication.
*** I think the bathroom 6/4/14, where the shadow I perceived conveyed a message that he wanted to see me in the bathroom and then I saw as clear as I can see in physical now two people.The man spoke rubbish, garbled. The woman I picked up what she was telling me by thought. I believe I still have a long way to go with this but am working on it in non physical.

Information.
*** If I have understood this as written under this heading above, then could this man have been a thought form relaying the message from( the shadow) ( guide) that I am working on and needing to develop these abilities.
But then I have to think to myself why didn't he just let me know because I picked up thoughts from the female ( thought form) and from him? Maybe I just had to work it out myself, like I have just now. ( or not)
A reminder to myself that Kurt says Never be afraid to get it wrong. As time goes on if I come to a different conclusion I'll just ad an edit.

Permeation.
Definately not there yet.

Just need to note that whenever I've recalled OBEs I have never recorded me speaking to them , but then apart from feeling someone was behind me and the space station then it does seem that they are getting closer. ( was told this)

Just want to add here something that I didn't record because I found it embarrassing and thought people would think I had a problem on physical , but I've always noted that I want spirit to understand I'm using the Betty Bethard's interpretation to dreams incase I have problems interpreting. I feel by now I should be interpreting my self but sometimes I have to look up something which seems strange.
The day after spending a full day ( Sunday ) attempting to understand the chakra system and inner senses , that night I dreamt.
............I'm in a dormitory at the far end with two friends at the other side. At the side of them was a famous personality sitting upright on his bed.
( here goes.... He was talking to his Penis. I didn't hear what he said just that he was talking to this part of him. )
He got up and left. By now I've gone over to my two friends where they tell me I couldn't have done my job whilst he was doing that.
As I watch him leaving the dormitory My attention goes to the back of his shorts. ( am thinking " I like his shorts")
End of memory of dream
Now through the day I had been having a problem with snails eating the leaves to my young cucumber plants and through the day had found two snails that appeared to be connecting with each other. I was wondering if this was them mating.
Looked up Betty Bethard's interpretation of my dream and one sticks out as .." Impregnation of ideas."
So the heavy thinking I spent that day trying to work out meaning and understanding could imply that If I had been working I couldn't have spent the time working on this.
I'd recently cut a little work to give me more spare time.( it's called getting older and not wanting to work so much)
Back to the shorts. For some reason my attention was drawn to the back view of his shorts to comment that I liked his shorts.
I think I was to note that they were clean . ( I was getting it and understanding the messages)
The reason I say this is because a dream I didn't record here had a famous personality walk away and from his back view his coat had widened and was soiled.( contamination) (I'm not getting the message ! )
......this is harder than doing a degree course.!!

Hi Susan,
I just want to say that the feelings you get from your dreams are the pointers what to work on inside of you...as you say here, you did not want to record because of the imbarresment of the dream and what may the people think...shame and guilt, and you want to be accepted therefore you do not dare to be truthful, you rather lie or not tell all or the truth to be accepted or not to be rejected...so these are the common thems in everyones inner...fear of all kind of things. We just want to be accepted and included...so it is hard to free us from these bonds, but if we do it in love then I am sure it will not harm anyone, I have done it the most awful way you can imagen...said to my family to leave me alone...because they just do not listen, and I am too fragile and need so much peace and alone time...and when I want to bond now they do not, and I can´t blame anyone but me...but I do understand why I have done as I have done...so I hope I do not offend you with my right forward words...I just do not know how to say it more diplomaticly...

So more about how you can get more knowing from your dreams...it is to know your better...like the snails for example..snails are in the soile (ground) furtilising the soile, and very needed ones for making the ground soile more fertile so to speak...this is one example...so do you like gardening?? if you do then it is very clear example how you get your symbols, because all symbols we get is very personal, and just coming for our understanding so to speak, and therefore for others is more hard to help to uncode someones dreams, but some help it is others point of views can get one pointed in right direction so to speak.

Love
ia

Hi, IA, thanks for your input. I just want to clear up a couple of points from your post.
Yes I did feel embarrassed with the dream, even at my age . The problem was at the time I didn't understand it's meaning. I often think of the implications of a post before writing incase I receive a hurtful response. I don't need to be liked, I just don't want to be hurt. I am very sensitive but that isn't a problem for me because I just stay away from any situation that may upset the peace.
I don't post all my experiences. Only the ones I need to think through or feel could be important to remember or just want to remember. Sometimes it's so obvious as to the meaning so it's....Okay , yes I get it. Not worth posting. For me when things get a little ...Wow...OMG.. it helps when I go back a few years into people's journals and see similarities when they had a lot going on being recorded. Outofbodydude 's journal ( I read some of it today ) and it's really good. It helped to read one where he was aware someone was behind him when travelling and saw the arm. ( had similar) also he later suggested that this may have been his higher self.
So what I'm experiencing at the moment , looking back at the older journals , most have been there done it got the tee shirt.( really don' t like that expression)
By the way, the snails weren't in my dream. They were on my patio in the back garden.
Always appreciate your input IA.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susan

Hi, IA, thanks for your input. I just want to clear up a couple of points from your post.
Yes I did feel embarrassed with the dream, even at my age . The problem was at the time I didn't understand it's meaning. I often think of the implications of a post before writing incase I receive a hurtful response. I don't need to be liked, I just don't want to be hurt. I am very sensitive but that isn't a problem for me because I just stay away from any situation that may upset the peace.
I don't post all my experiences. Only the ones I need to think through or feel could be important to remember or just want to remember. Sometimes it's so obvious as to the meaning so it's....Okay , yes I get it. Not worth posting. For me when things get a little ...Wow...OMG.. it helps when I go back a few years into people's journals and see similarities when they had a lot going on being recorded. Outofbodydude 's journal ( I read some of it today ) and it's really good. It helped to read one where he was aware someone was behind him when travelling and saw the arm. ( had similar) also he later suggested that this may have been his higher self.
So what I'm experiencing at the moment , looking back at the older journals , most have been there done it got the tee shirt.( really don' t like that expression)
By the way, the snails weren't in my dream. They were on my patio in the back garden.
Always appreciate your input IA.

---

Hi Susan,
Yes I understand, no-one want to be hurt, but sometime there is no alternative as far as I understand, and I am therefore very sorry if my blunt straight forward does hurt, I just do not know how to say things gently...I want to learn, because I do not ever want to hurt anyone, but I do it often because I do not know how to communicate gently.
Oh was the snails on your pation, that is really a straight forward manifestation...wow...
But that fear you have we all have, and I do often think...how can we communicate and say just as things are, and happens...yet we tend to not say it all, and we do twist and swirle them so I get dizzy in my head and feel like I am in a merry go around :-)
I hope I do not scare you away and make you write less, if I am that enoying I am ready to stop writing or responding to your writing, I want you to feel secure and free in your expressions.

Love
ia

IA, please you have not offended me in any way and I don't think you ever will because I know that what you write Is written from the heart and with such sincerity.
But you've got me laughing. The snails! They were two live snails I was watching in physical life on my patio. The fact that they ( I think ) were mating had me wonder if me having been watching them had anything to do with the dream until I got the true meaning.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susan

IA, please you have not offended me in any way and I don't think you ever will because I know that what you write Is written from the heart and with such sincerity.
But you've got me laughing. The snails! They were two live snails I was watching in physical life on my patio. The fact that they ( I think ) were mating had me wonder if me having been watching them had anything to do with the dream until I got the true meaning.

---

Now I am laughing, becasue the word snail I thought it to be a worm...haha....did my misstake help you at all?? but snail now when I know what it is...the worms who live in soil...they do not mate...it was that what made me to look up the word...sorry.

Snail mating...making more deley??...are you??

Love
ia

IA, you've got me creased up with laughter. Cann't remember when I laughed so much. We have to solve this . Does anyone out there know if snails mate, oh frig what does it matter it wasn't a dream .

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susan

IA, you've got me creased up with laughter. Cann't remember when I laughed so much. We have to solve this . Does anyone out there know if snails mate, oh frig what does it matter it wasn't a dream .

---

:-) Susan, laughter is good, always....haha

Love
ia

Y'all gave me the weirdest mental picture.... lol.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susan

IA, you've got me creased up with laughter. Cann't remember when I laughed so much. We have to solve this . Does anyone out there know if snails mate, oh frig what does it matter it wasn't a dream .

---

Hi Susan,
Both snails and worms are hermafordits. As far as I understand that...they do mate...and they do change the gender to be able to mate, like an agreament who is who...haha :-)

Love
ia

OBE this morning.
But first , had cut down a bit on energy work or visualisation practice and been trying to learn more from multidimensional human.( Kurt Leland) Felt the need to use daytime to practice what he suggests for developing inner senses. Also to try to analyse more the meaning or purpose of past experiences, rather than just forging ahead and wanting more and more.No contact for few days and strangely no dream recall .
oh, just one small one....had been travelling in a long compartment( bus or train) but no one else was with me when it stops and I get off. My sister meets me and tells me that her brother ( we don't have one) is to drive me to London Today.
I felt disappointed having to go but she insisted that the police wanted to interview me about a murder that I had witnessed Today.
Now the emphasis was on the word Today. End of dream.
So got ready for work and went out to greenhouse to open window when I saw a big snail. It had eaten the slug pellets covering the soil to keep them away. It was frothing and bubbling, obviously dying. Unfortunately when arrived back home hours later it was still dying but alive. Took hours to die . Not nice. Sometimes I find messages can have double meanings but pellets will be taken off tomorrow.

However OBE

Slept well. No dream recall. 7.15am.
Decided just little energy work, then visualisation practice using nice coloured flowers as I thought of them. Settled when fairly soon I sensed my arms were floating. This stopped, moved onto my side when I was thinking the same thing. Then felt I was sinking.knew this was a good sign. Started to sink and sink when next thing I'm travelling up, no noise or vibration heading in a fairly straight angle of about 45 degrees. I didn't think I was lacking vision, it was just that there was nothing at this stage to see .
Then I see a silver spark, then another one, then more and I seemed to curve to the left now when the silver increased and I could see silver Christmas trees. Then gold sparks, more and more. These were gold Christmas trees. I'm now floating around looking at beautiful sparkling silver and gold Christmas trees . I zoomed closer to the gold trees and saw my golden snowflakes hanging on them. ( I was just going wherever I was going, did not attempt to alter direction ) to the right I saw my conservatory chairs and this gave me the feeling of a garden centre when you are in the outside area of it.
Then it ended abruptly.
Checked the clock. 7.45
I have to analyse this.
1) I had no perception of my body.
2) As beautiful as they were , this was as if viewing with a fine muslin cloth over . The sparkles were there but the true beauty wasn't.
I even got the impression of a transparent white cloth between my viewing and the trees.
So this had to be for my attention to work out.
Thoughts.
1) I had been wanting to utilise day time for practice and I Love my gardening and greenhouse. Could this be that by focusing on my gardening that I love this would help me . Eg) the beauty of watching the growth of a leaf originating from a tiny seed, or the near dead young plant that slowly grows and opens out and strengthens.
2) could the veil between me and the beauty I want to see in astral be thinning.?
I 'm going for 1) at the moment.


I just need to add to this just incase it has relevance in the future.

I was going to be interviewed previously.
The taxi driver was going to interview me to tell me how many people he had lost.
The witch type face was suspected of being an imposter. I saw the back of her being interviewed and there was a very vivid long black wig hanging up on the wall behind her.
This is maybe going to confuse the original meaning but will keep in the back burner just for future reference. ( it's just that she was in a police station being interviewed)

This morning upon wakening. I saw a container being closed with something in it and got " put those chocolate treats away" .
I very rarely buy chocolate but today my sister arrived unexpectedly with a gift of chocolates brought from Austria.

Morning time about 2 months ago ( didn't record) I woke up to remembering in a dream see some very acrobatic type moves by male and females when they disappeared from view . As if behind the board at the bottom of the bed and I heard some giggling. ( this was sweet) A hand appeared holding a box of breakfast cereal. ( this type is advertised for people wanting to loose weight.)
Went to work that morning ,in a hurry as usual. Came back late afternoon feeling very weak and wanting to drop. I hadn't had any breakfast.

I've been warned before about needing sugar and lacking energy the day it happened.

Also this morning I picked up that I should take my glasses.
This morning went to my first Tai Chi class and regretted not taking them as I couldn't see clearly the hand movements from the instructor.

What I'm trying to show myself here is that often we can dismiss what is picked up before wakening but many times for me it has been relevant for me to take notice.

I just need to tidy up the end of the last post in the hope there may be some sense of it.

3/5/14. Conversation with very strong male presence suggesting it was my 'INFINATE FATHER'. ( good short contact but left me feeling exhausted rest of day) Kept options open to the fact that this could have been an imposter.
8/5/14. Taxi driver ( previously could have been my ' Yer TACHI Man ') waiting to interview ME. To tell me how many puppies he had lost. I saw a zip opening and puppies getting out.
9/5/14. Cartoon witch type face being interviewed in a police station with a long black wig hanging on the wall.suspected of being an imposter.
14/5/14. Bus driver is the witch,( contents of the dream had me feel they were helping me)
12/6/14. The police wanted to interview ME.

To sum up
Infinate father suspected of being imposter.
The witch was being interviewed suspected of being an imposter
The bus driver is the witch
I am going to be interviewed by the taxi driver.
The police want to interview me.

Could this person claiming to be infinate father, be the taxi driver and the bus driver taking me and helping me,and at the same time be me ?
I had to write this but I have a feeling there will be no conclusion to this , just confusion so no more attempt will be made to make any sense of this unless......

Dream. / failed OBE / Dream.
Very unusual dream which seemed to take on a different direction. Nothing relevant to previous posts.
I had previously picked up that my mother was disappointed and could I meet up with her on Sunday?
So , Sunday evening had had a very heavy full meal late in evening ( which I try to avoid) Early hours of Monday morning when awake I recalled a dream of a police woman telling me that my car had failed Its MOT.
Whilst awake I feel so disappointed with myself to have had such a heavy meal, feeling I had failed myself in the possibility of experiencing something.
Taking this as ' get back to sleep your not going to experience anything' , I just accepted and decided there's always another chance another day.
Visit to bathroom, little water , settled to token gesture of energy raising then settled for sleep when jelly feeling , wobbling and I knew that this was a good sign. Focused on brow area , could feel movement but here was nothing fast about this. This was in one direction and steadily in one direction. As I focused I decided to just experiment with vision as I had nothing.decided to open astral/ etheric eyes and they opened. Thinking how good this was that I hadn't opened physical !!!! Stupid! End of , back to body .
So once again in one evening I'm disappointed.
Back to sleep wake up next morning. Recalled dream .
This will seem stupid to readers but here goes.
I'm in a large area where I'm waiting and flying around and practicing keeping up off the ground when someone of importance comes in . I just see a pair of trousers but see nothing from above. They give me a book. This is thick and heavy and as I open it the first page shows a 2x human bodies at the top, at the bottom was an animal of some sort and a baby and I got this is how we evolved to humans.
Woke up again and thinking how vivid this was and in fact (a bit in your face .), visited the bathroom and slept .
Woke up later in morning to dream recall .
I saw a statue representing my mother ( I thought at the time)
I' m sitting opposite someone who is advising me .
The statue comes next to me . Next thing it is a giant plant , like an anemone from the sea.
This was / is my mother.
I touch this /her as I ask questions.
Can you hear me? The flow from her is a yes.
Can you see me ? The flow from her is yes ,
Can you feel me ? The flow from her is yes .
Can you talk to me ? The flow goes in the opposite direction.
End of dream .
When I woke up, this had such a impact and got me thinking deeper than I have .
Thinking of the evolution of plants .
Can plants communicate to other higher intelligence? Animals can to humans . Humans can to higher beings in spirit ??
Oh just a dream but food for thought .
I am no biologist and this is just a dream . For my own way of thinking for this journal anyone reading this just think of this as a dream that Susan had ,
For me ?

( I know we don't have eyes within the astral body but the thought of opening eyes was more like requesting vision)

Add on .
I felt the need to do a search on Sea Anemones and was showing my ignorance when describing this as a plant.

***Although often known as the Flower of the Sea it is in fact a Water Dwelling Meat Eating Animal.
***It has a primitive nervous system.
***Has an Intelligence Within. Some form relationships with green algae receiving oxygen and sugar as the bi- product of the algae's photosynthesis.
Upon reflection I think the sea anemone was an excellent example for me to be shown. From the page in the book I would have expected within a dream to be shown an animal that I knew definetely as an animal.
This animal , previously thought by me as a plant highlights the intelligence within anything living from aquatic animals to terrestrial animals to amphibians. Then of course there are the plants.
Conclusion. This last dream was for my attention .

Babies are back// locker room is back// the man character I didn't understand is back.

20/06/14
2 short dreams.

1) I'm with 2 friends ( no idea who they were) in what looked like an airport shopping mall. We are going to meet one of my friend's parents. I run up ahead of them up the parents who are waiting in the distance. I tell the woman that I am her daughter's friend.
At first she doesn't understand me. Then she does and turns to her husband to explain what I said. He replies but I couldn't understand what he said.
( It's the same man during an OBE that I concluded was being used as a character , to relay a message from the ( shadow/ spirit/ guidance/ teacher) that I perceived during the same event.) the woman was different. Very elegant.
They walk towards their daughter who lights up a cigarette.
( I don't smoke)
The mother takes the cigarette from her daughters hand and stumps it out and throws it aside, telling her that she cann't smoke if she's pregnant.

Thoughts.
I think inner senses still being worked on as I still couldn't understand what the man said and although I don't smoke I think cleansing the body may be the suggestion here .Also my liking of nice things and wanting to spend a little more than I really should.( shops within airport) This may be necessary for me to advance further.
I believe these characters were used to get a message across.

2nd dream same night.
I'm with people who take me to my locker to collect my things.Im told I cann't go to the care home I want to go to. I was taken to the one that was not so nice. I'm standing whimpering , crying silently feeling so sad. I'm told I'll soon get used to it.

Thoughts.
I feel sure again that I have to curb my spending and be content with the simpler things in life if I want to progress.
Previously I had had disturbing face changes within message dreams pointing out to clean up my thoughts and words.( not to judge anyone till I've walked in their shoes.)

Today.
Dream
I'm with a friend again ( don't know who she is) in what seems to be a mobile home. A man comes in and I really liked him. He was nice. I felt much warmth from him. He takes my friend outside to talk to . I wake up.
I felt much warmth and peace when wakening up this morning.

Note)
Already noted 18/4 celebration at airport terminal and given a green coat. ( green, heart chakra, 4th Chakra)
""""""""""""""". 22/4.picked up Heart Chakra is now open.
I've been noting myself in journal recently that I'm starting to sense real spirits from characters where I feel nothing at all from the characters.
Just read some of Kurt Leland's work within the dream research forum where he writes ,

" the Fourth Chakra of all bodies is the one that allows us to tell the difference between non physical entities."
( just love it when things fall into place)

Good to hear from you Richard.

The parting of the Red Sea, Susan. The Kundalini is stirring and necessarily throws this to the right and that to the left. You're dream of the gold and silver Christmas trees has been with me for days. Your presents are unified in the coming together of the Sun and the Moon - the marriage at the crown which completes the circuit and forever divides the World from the Spirit. It is so nice to see this awakening in a gentle way.

Even if I'm 'gone', I love to read your journal.

Richard

You will always be my internet mentor Richard , as you have a deeper understanding of symbolism than I currently have.

I just want to add something as a point for me to notice about the previous dream recorded above concerning the locker room and not being able to go to the care home that I wanted to go to .I have thought before that sometimes I can touch on more than one possible meaning and this week I have 2 care homes to visit. The first , ( visited today) is a lovely new build and most there are able to have a conversation with you. Loved the day . No big challenge.
Tomorrow is the Dimentia care home that mostly leaves me feeling exhausted but at the same time I feel so rewarded at the end by that chance contact with the eyes, and the warm touch of their hands or the cuddle and kiss. The words that come out are of the past
and make sense to the patient but maybe not to me. Look into their eyes and they speak.
When we meet our partners we fall in love with them and their/ our eyes have that sparkle ,
These people unfortunately are not able to put into words what they used to be able to . But just look into their eyes and the understanding is there. Inside I feel they are crying out because they know something isn't right.
I've ranted on a bit but feel its important for anyone reading this to remember.
One day one of your relatives may have Dimentia . Make physical contact with them and look them in the eyes. You will feel that connection that science says you have lost.
Okay I've ranted on but I think I've proven to myself the benefit of working with what can seem to be more tiring and more effort required but at the end of the day is more rewarding spiritually.

Woke up from a short nap after my main sleep hearing just two lines to a song being sung.
" No two children should be the same.
Look in Your eyes and I see Mine."
Recalled short dream.
Dream.

I'm boarding a plane with a friend ( don't know who she was) . But this time we are the crew and this is our first flight. Our full uniform hasn't arrived yet. Only the coats missing. Two very smart experienced cabin crew arrive for the flight as well. I note how smart they look with their navy coats on.I step forward to ask her a question. As I do I see a small pile of rubbish on the floor at the side with a credit card on top. She dismisses the pile as okay.
End of dream. I forgot what I asked her in the dream!!

2 x dreams this morning.
First was after main sleep and going back to sleep again.

Dream1 )
I'm with my old nursing tutor from the past in physical. She is asking me why I haven't done what I said I would. This helped me recall a previous dream just recently about slowing down . This is obviously what I'm trying to do and have written about, and work has been either really quiet or too much like this week and next week. . I cann't seem to get a happy balance .
Thoughts.
This is what I know I need to sort out so nothing out of the ordinary for a dream . Because I already know this.

Dream 2)
This was quite a funny one and I was the observer.
I had tried a little energy work for a short time but now I get no energy sensations. This makes me feel I'm wasting my time. I know I'm not , and I know energy sensations can diminish but when you feel energy surges up your body you just know that you've activated something.
Decided to just go to sleep. Needed to be up sharp.
Woke up 30 minutes later than planned but recalled the whole dream.

I'm watching someone on a big boat being chased by another big boat. The guy looked like Hulk Hogan . He steers the boat in time onto the beach weaving amongst the sun worshippers lying down. The boat by now has turned into a sand bearing hovercraft.
He takes it up to a building just off the beach and runs in for safety.
This was like watching Miami Vice. This was a modern police station.
He's safe now. The people from the other boat ran in . They were police also and wanted to talk to him but he was safe now as the chasing police were out of their designated area.
This is the interesting bit.
He's sitting at the end of a long table being interviewed by the new police. He explains. ( Once again I'm the observer within this dream)
He says. " They've got it wrong. It wasn't me. It's like this . You know when you just take a pen and paper and draw squiggles like this.." )
His left side of his moustache now slips. He sorts it.
He now picks up a piece of paper and pen and starts to draw lines.
He continues. " I just do this and this happens"
At this stage I see his face change to a fatter face ( face changing) and I hear .
" I just want to take over your life" .
End of dream .
***** forgot to write that whilst talking his forehead had a large red circle throbbing as if he'd been hit with something .
( third eye)

Thoughts.
Right throughout my experiences I find memorable experiences may come across quite strong to stay ' MEMORABLE'.
They have to be strong to get your attention. Once again I have no reason to believe this was anything menacing.In fact it was quite funny like watching an old TV series.
I wondered about this after dream recall and wondered if this was anything to do with automatic writing.however now that I've written about it I'll probably be proved wrong but still an interesting dream.
( also I picked up ... I'll tell you when ....
Also just to not I've noticed a pattern forming .
I play on line scrabble with my sister and so often after coming in from doing something I have really enjoyed and feel happy about I sit down switch the scrabble on with a cup of tea and think of a word immediately that very often has been between 50-60 points. 4 times I didn't even know the words existed.

Symbol seen this morning very fast.

A man holding a small lamb under his arm with a large wooden cross through the lamb's body.

I have never pretended to belong to any religion, but respect people who do . The message this gives out is that they want to be guided to be a better person. How can this be wrong? It's not. I just don't need to pick a religion.
But the cross made me think of Jesus and what he represented.
This in turn had me notice within the journal .
5th June .....symbol shown of a hedgehog turned upside down with a mans body underneath.
Thought at the time of Jesus with thorns on his head. This could be showing a connection between man and animals.
12th June......dreamt of being told I had witnessed a murder today. The slug I had given a slow death because of the pellets.
17th June......shown a book and told it would show me how we evolved from animals. Then the sea anenome which was to represent
my mother.
I feel sure now that this business of me eating meat is an issue. Of course it wouldn't prevent anyone from experiencing OBEs , as anyone putting the practice in can, but spiritualy maybe understanding the connection between man and animal is important.
We can see the adventure of leaving our body and exploring the other sides, as 'I've seen this and I've done this and I've felt this ( not meaning me personally but you as a person) but at the end of the day do you feel you are getting anywhere? Other than experiences? Surely these experiences have to lead to a meaning of what waits for us on the other side and how we can maybe help ourselves to evolve further.

For the last few days have abolished eating red meat. But still feel I could eat this. Cooked lamb chops for HBnd but fish for myself.
I feel I'm not there yet and this may take some time. I need to convince myself or to be convinced that this is wrong.i suppose this is like going on a diet when teachers will tell you this is right or wrong for you but it takes time to experience the benefit to believe, only this is slightly different as I believe it is not just to benefit the body but for spiritual advancement.
Will try this but am looking for other explanations for the above post for the lamb as for a reason to start eating it again.
Maybe this will be something I will fail in. ( have to add this ... Or maybe this is just the beginning of the understanding and the reasons may follow within time to make the choice easier.)?
Eating red meat for all of my life is not something that is going to be overcome and changed because of a very vivid symbol suggesting otherwise.
I have to believe with all my heart that this is wrong
.If you think about the intelligence within animals and the love we feel towards them and from them which can be compared to physical human friendships then if the love of God permeates within all creatures great and small ( meaning us as well) I suppose we are killing , sacrificing something that he is part .
I'm still not there but interestingly for the last month my thoughts are going ...towards Jesus...sacrifice....thorns...animals..connection
I promise myself to be totally honest within this journal to inform as soon as I eat red meat again!

IA, thank you .
2nd February 2014' post. ( page 23)
. Food for thought
. I can not dismiss this way of thinking.

Posted by IA56

As I see this animal turning into a man...you was shown the transformation...but still that man (human) hunt´s animals because he still are so much animal inside of him...not yet a real human. A real human does know that animals also has soul.

( I have just copied and pasted for the first time ever . I can AP , receive symbolic messages, and now I can ' copy and paste' . )
But why doesn't it come with the blue balloon?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susan

IA, thank you .
2nd February 2014' post. ( page 23)
. Food for thought
. I can not dismiss this way of thinking.

---

Thank you to you too Dear Susan :-)

Love
ia

Dream

In a war zone , in a plane with others ( didn't have the feeling this time that they were my friends , just that I was with them )looking out seeing other planes in the sky just bursting into flames. Looking down and seeing ships and helicopters being fired at and bursting into flames. Was on a beach and looking to dig a hole on the sand to hide from the enemy.
Woke up felt no emotion.
Thoughts.
Could this be my battle with giving up meat? ( well red to start with) .

2nd dream
I'm in a class room with others that I don't know.
A teacher comes in and I'm standing amongst others but I'm holding 3 sheets of tissue paper . 2x white and one red . She comes straight over to me and tells us she is not sure if she is looking forwards to teaching ME. Two other teachers are in the background.
Thoughts
The tissue paper could be myself remembering the view of the OBE Christmas trees. Maybe subconsciously thinking of having a new teacher. I'll leave this open for interpretation.
In and out of short sleeps before alarm went off with much chatter going on . The last was ... To stay silent, stay still, ....to learn the roles of the universe.
6.am . Two hours left before getting up so went over everything I could remember then thought to do just little brow work . Decided to settle down. Tai Chi class at ten.
Was just dozing off when I picked up
..Remember when you nearly got drowned 3 times? Well the man in trousers . He is real.
Felt the Jelly, wobbly feeling.
I felt I was going under so decided to focus on the brow area. It was black but like water marks within the black so decided to focus on a particular point within this black and it came closer and closer. Knew something was happening so just focused. Now I seem to be turning left but travelling along sideways. I could see an outline of a face. It then turns into a blonde mans face wearing glasses. He's looking at me but as I'm travelling sideways he is soon out of view. End of. Woke up.
Thoughts.
I know what I experienced . Why? I'm not sure.
The reference to the man in trousers had me think of the times I've recorded something I felt was important.

At the beginning of my journey a man I viewed in a river from the trousers downwards holding a baby under water. ( I couldn't understand why I got this. it wasnt nice, but there was nothing frightening about it.
The same night I saw a repeat of this but the finger was put down the babies throat.I decided this was a message about death of some kind but nothing to fear.
The other night prior to me having the mother statue figure which turned into a sea anenome I recorded men coming into a room where I was but I only viewed from the trousers downwards.
I leave this nights event open to possible previous thoughts brought forwards into a dream but feel it's still important to record just incase.
I was to miss this last one out but remembered IA56 once noting the importance of being honest and not just choosing what to report.
Before this journal started and after I was given a picture of . . my guide , that I had apparently shared lives with ( well considering the thoughts that a guide could be a future self of you or a teacher from a higher level than you but with loving reasons to want to help you . )
I once picked up a very vivid picture of a lovely beach with a girl on a board skating the waves but behind me was a man and all I could see was from the trousers down..
We all have imagination that creates our dreams but all I'm noting here is the " man from the trousers down"
And 3 is cropping up.

To note , today 18/7/14,Malaysian aircraft brought down with missile fire.

Hi Susan,
I am urged to write this to you....We always want teachers of "higher" realms but do fear the "lower" realms of teachers and they are mostly the one who can really help us out of our fear.
I hope you do not misunderstand what I am trying to tell.
All changes we are making the ego will start a war...so keep this in mind...ego and body is not real...they do want to keep us in re-incarnation wheel to be sure of theire own survival...
Remember we are indestructuble and eternal.

Love
ia

The mind is brilliant!
Sitting just now in conservatory. Rubbish on telly so thinking more of everything going on. Spent all day in garden chopping down woody bushes. Got such plans for garden but will take a lot of hard work but worth it in the end. On a high, did a lot.
When I'm so grounded and enjoying what I'm doing I reflect at times and think the experiences cann't be real because everything is so real Here in the Now.
I think deep down I know it's true but ....

So just now going over the last post I did the sun was facing me head on just after a thunder storm( not really relevant, just saying)
So to enjoy this heat and shine I closed my eyes just to let it beam through.
Well of course you get blue shapes which without looking up on the internet I'm sure will be a medical reason with the eyes.
No surprise to this but the top half of the blue turned into a HEART! I was looking at a blue heart which stayed for5-6 seconds.
This was a very defined heart. If eventually faded and turned smaller and smaller and eventually left, but before it disappeared I tried so hard with thought to bring it back but couldn't.
I know what I saw but just expected to feel the rays through my eyes.

Tonight I've just put the sun and my eyes through a test . Sitting in conservatory right now. Sun is at the same level as the other night. Just setting But still above my hedge. Closed eyes 5-6 times. Each time wished with all my heart for a heart to appear.
I saw the blue take shape but mostly long stick shapes. Then faded. I couldn't with all my wishful thinking shape this into a heart.
So I have to think about a short dream I had the previous night before the heart. ( didn't record , simply because I get so much and have to be aware that much may be my own wishful thinking . ) I really only want to record what I feel may be something to work on.

Dream the night before the event.

This is like a game show with a host. A contestant walks on but instead of looking directly at the host she is looking up to the sky.
She does her bit then the next one comes on.
This is the funny one because she has a lot of make-up on . ( okay I don't like to go out without make up on but I certainly don't pile it on with all the blusher. ( hint.. ( this gets my attention when recalling the dream ) ) she is looking up at the same angle rather than looking at the host of the show. Then says " well then let's go for it"
So just a dream but the emphasis was on why were they looking up at an angle to the sky rather than the host in front of them ?
Was I meant to look up to the sun the next day?
I just feel I want to finish this post with ..
The spirit world can reach you through religious symbolism if that is something that will really get your attention.
Or just in your face humour .... But just a way to get your attention .. And they are there to help you in the best way they can .
Still haven't eaten red meat yet .

This last post has reminded me of something I experienced once that I thought at the time was the most memorising awesome place to have visited. ( I think this was recorded quite far back on this site somewhere.
Dream .
I'm on a large boat and go to my cabin. My son is asleep on my bed and someone wants me to come up to the deck.
I do and as I stand next to this person I witness the most silent peaceful magical scene. The boat I was on was travelling slowly through pure snow. There was no noise, no colour except white snow. The fields were covered in snow. The fences were made of snow. White horses stood, some on their hind legs and it was as if they were made of snow. TIME STOOD STILL.
As I stand on the deck with this person I look up to the sky and amongst the grey the colours of the rainbow shone through as if an entrance to a different world to this one.

W hen we meditate to get to that feeling of love to start off the meditation I would use the feeling I had of witnessing this beauty.
Kurt suggests thinking of something that brings you much happiness and love.
As months went on I would ask repeatedly to visit this place again.
I would have experiences that were memorable but never a visitation back to this place.

So one night I dreamt I was in a shop ( desires) next to a window.( entrance to astral) . An old fashioned till was by the window and I saw what looked like a receipt that should come out from the till, the till roll just rolled and rolled out a long string of paper never ending and went through the window covering the ground below but shredding as it covered the ground outside until it was completely covered in white and it was shredded up into bits outside the window, giving the impression of snow covering the ground. ( the astral plane I desired)
So what we had here was the illusion of snow on the ground. BUT it was just an illusion.
I think the message had to be made to me that this wasn't a real astral plane but was an illusion. Created for me to get a message across at the time. ( I felt so sad that I could never visit this place again)
I feel they stepped in to let me know .

Today I spoke for the first time to a lady who has experiences. She told me that many years ago in her youth she was besotted by her boyfriend and didn't believe the rumours she was hearing about his infidelity. One night she had a vivid dream where she was told it just wasn't going to happen( she thought they would end up marrying)
She was shown a scene where he was kneeling at an alter with a different woman. All though the dream wasn't what she wanted to see, it was true.
So , just showing how much the spirit world are working with us to help, and sometimes we need that little extra guidance to put us back on the right path

20th march /14.(page 24)
The link between humans and animals may have been relevant here also.
Swimming under water comfortably ( not needing to breath) with a pregnant otter and the otter lays on a pillow to rest and so do I and a man swims up to us and gives me a kiss and rests his head on the pillow under water also .
( I am following and lay down with the otter and the man follows and lays down with(me) the human.
I seemed to be between animal and human. Just a thought .

12/7/14
Projection this am but very disappointed in how I handled it. Somehow in physical we can understand that in a certain situation we should do this or that , but when experiencing it in non physical you forget all that.
Woke up early am from a dream. Quick recall.
A small cat comes in to be fed. A man is standing at a doorway holding the most ridiculous looking bigger cat with long spiky hair and tells us ( a few of us in a room) that this is our new commander . This was to be in charge of us. I remember thinking that he is silently telling us to have faith and trust in the cat.
( Didnt attempt to analyse any of this as I had to be up early am for Tai chi)

OBE

Settled down and became aware of being in the perfect relaxed / awake stage so silenced mind and just stared into brow.
Tried hard to zoom in closer to what I was looking at when I saw movement and now felt I was following the movement. ( pleased at this stage because I knew I'd got out. Moving along to the right and I can see a shape take form. This was like a sketching of the head of my late mother looking a lot younger. ( thinking at the time this was either symbolic of a mother figure or something to forget. I wasn't picking up any feelings from this)
Now it goes and everything is black. Then a coloured light, then more and more. I'm surrounded by lights . Red, blue ,orange ,green and more( No gold or silver this time) . Now I'm looking down and underneath me is this massive glass ( see through ) building full to the brim with the same coloured lights. This reminded me of Christmas time and Christmas lights. ( like most times I was aware but just went with where ever I went, ) I didn't feel the same excitement as previous times, almost sensing something at this stage.
Headed down through the roof amongst the colours when speeded up, going down fast. Knew I had reason not to get excited this time.Just knew I was to go under ground again. Blocked off vision.( Last time I was excited and thought I would be brave enough to keep vision open if it happened again) Very quickly I've stopped so vision back and I seem to be in a basement. Almost cave like roof,a large area but very dark. Apprehension sets in and I want to just leave as I had the feeling something was coming.I sensed or saw a few ' something's' don't know what they were but wasn't going to wait to find out.
Flew away still in darkness 360 vision. The last thing I saw was me in blackness and quite a few ' something's' quite a distance behind. They stopped . I was away.
End of OBE
Thoughts.
Right from the start of this experience I didn't have the same excitement as I've had with previous. Although the colours were beautiful I still didn't seem to be in awe as previously. Did the dream prior to this condition my mind to something? In the dream I was to have trust in the leader. ( silly looking cat)
I've OBEd before where I've entered a dark cave like setting and heard voices coming towards me and didn't run. In fact as I'm recording this the cave / basement like setting seemed similar.this was recorded page 14. 9/10/13. This one resulted in three men coming out with horses heads. I found this funny rather than frightening and remember picking up. " what ever you record don't forget these are your friends" . I never came up with any sound understanding for that one.
........ Just thinking here but maybe if I hadn't legged it this time but remembered the advice from the previous experience and treated them as my friends It may have ended differently.

Back to sleep for the last hour when I woke up to seeing and hearing someone playing the drums loudly. Wondered if this was my wake-up call. Checked clock, alarm went off.

Just an after thought but the senses here may have been the topic. Sensing danger.
Or another after thought . I failed a test on fear. Whatever it was I feel bad and therefore feel I failed.

This morning I just became lucid in the dream when I had to go ( to wake up) . I've felt in a lovely mood all day. The part where I became lucid had me shown to a round table to sit at with a friend.( don't know who it was) . An old boss of mine is sitting at the table ahead of all of us and facing us. I notice I don't have a table setting. The others do. My chair starts to roll backwards towards the wall as if the ground was tilted. I pushed it back to the table, we all laughed at this when my friend announced to everyone that ' Susan has to go home now' .With that my chair started rolling back again, this time off the edge. I'm now in what is like a noddy car travelling downhill with others looking over the side smiling. I noticed my brow area had that snowy speckled flickering look to it. I tried to focus to get vision back but either just after or just prior to this ( cann't remember which) I felt re- entry with a bit of a bump.
I recalled rest of dream straight away feeling I've been laughing a lot.
The dream was I believe just my own thoughts being acted out but in three different occasions where I'm talking to someone ( dream character) I have been aware of someone in the background just watching . On the last occasion he came closer and in the dream I felt such kindness and warmth from him.
Even though as I said I feel this was a dream of my own creation the feeling of warmth and fun has stayed with me all day.

Something I forgot to note for journal happened just after the mother statue/ sea anenomie experience.
This only lasted a few seconds but twice someone gives me a big key. I'm now in a large room with large statues of different heights . They were like people, animals , figures. All white. Now I see myself outside watching someone closing the door. ( looked a bit like a spaceman) but he didn't lock it. He left and I saw that the door was ajar. Next thing I'm inside and the statues have come to life and slowly start to move. End.
I'm wondering if this could have been some kind of library with history as it happened around the same time I was given the big heavy book that was to show me the link between animals and humans and the mother figure statue was the same type of statue in the room?

Something so strange but lovely has just happened.
Was writing a post on the mysticism forum about a post ( 2005) from an established member on Astral Pulse,
who suggested that planes of existance was an old fashioned way of thinking and it should be levels of perception instead. As I was writing a post on this forum about this as I checked what I had written I had written the word AKEO within the words with absolutely no thought at all within this time frame of this name. ( AKEO is a name mentioned for quite a period further back in the journal )
( also the name was the only word written in capital letters.)
Like many people I think, we tend to write fast and only check what we have written after so many words
( I Just love it ) simple mistakes ??

Missile Attack.
just want to add have just seen the news about another Malaysian airline brought down . All lives lost. Thought to have been a missile involved. Few days ago (5/7/14) wrote about a war scene where I was in an aircraft but other air crafts were being fired upon and bursting into flames. This was a war zone. I just wonder if it may have been this. At the time I could only think of my battle with giving up eating meat but I also felt that this was a little over dramatised for giving up meat.

Found good description of phasing which seems to be what is happening recently.( focusing on the blackness when eyes closed) and leaving through a particular focus point)

I feel I can now draw a conclusion to this last event with AKEO and the writing but first for my own benefit for the journal I need to see the bigger picture of the last 18 months within the journal .
I need to take time over this so will be posted as time allows.

1st) TEACHERS.
( will emphasise here that these are not my most desired personalities so it wasn't wishful thinking)
LEARNT.
When I see a famous personality appearing in a short dream or just a quick flash of a picture ( symbol) this is a teacher telling me something. The reason I conclude this is at the beginning I needed help and sent out a thought that I would use the Betty Berthards book to interpret anything I found difficult. After the first I had to look up the rest just followed over time.
Examples
A) Had been wondering whether or not to drop the NEWS for a bit .
Saw BURT RENALD in the grounds of a castle having cannon balls firing through his chest . 2 seconds flash.
Message interpretation. Continue NEWS.

B) WARREN BEATTY pops his head around a corner of a door . Turns around and from the back his coat widens and is soiled.
Message interpretation. I'm not understanding clearly ( according to Kurt Leland's interpretation) this was after I started again to read ' the multi dimensional human' .

C) STING on the bed in a dormitory talking to his penis.
Message interpretation. Impregnation of ideas.( day after heavy day of reading and thinking) ( Betty Berthard.)
Was told I couldn't have done that if I had been working.

D) GEORGE CLOONY on the train where a young child was being taken to meet him and I was the observer. The mother figure stood
up with her hands in the prayer position and looked up to the sky as if she was talking to someone I couldn't see.
Message interpretation. I was on a journey and would get my wish eventually of meeting my teacher.

E) BOB GELDOF at the airport celebrating with a group of people singing and coats were given out. Mine was a green coat. Picked
up Heart chakra was now open.
Message Interpretation. Ability to discriminate dream characters from non physical entities. ( this was whilst reading Kurt's work)

Conclusion . My conclusions which to me make sense seem to be from what I am reading at the time.

Next will be symbols thrown at me.

Symbols.
Symbols perceived very quickly often have nothing to do with what is currently in my thoughts prior to achieving the correct state to receive. They seem to have a much deeper universal meaning, more mystical.

Ankh symbol( thousands of them with a white background)
3 Pyramids ( beautiful different coloured)
Human looking eye.
Flame burning.

Then the ones that need a bit of thought to work out.

The hedgehog with a mans body.
The animal turning into man and killing another animal .
The man with the lamb under his shoulder and a wooden cross through its body.


Projection
Of course we project all the time but just haven't been aware of it so this is consciously attempted.

Started NEWS.
Slowly leave body. Explore the house. Did the card trick.( although whilst looking at the card where I had put it I saw my etheric hands trying to touch it to turn over as I couldn't see the picture. Gave up and the next day wondered what it was. Correctly guessed at Jack of Spades. So my astral vision at the time did not perceive but I could see reality fluctuations within house. Wrong flooring, fireplace taken out.)
Soon started just shooting upwards fast away from body after a very memorable bit of help that frightened me at first.
Got out one day and slowly floated onto the landing when something grabbed me by the legs and flung me in the air out through the window and I'm outside confused thinking what the bleep was that. Back to body. Of course this was the best way to learn even if it was startling at the time.
Still have RTZ when I am to learn something, but the difference now there is contact that I can see and interact with.
Astral body now consciously in use.
More recently had been encouraged to look into the brow. Had my first exit from the brow where I felt I literally flew out through the brow. Now it's slightly different . I don't get the feeling of leaving out through , rather just focus on a specific spot and move into it, along with it. I think this is ' phasing' .

Now the big Question. WHO AM I?
I have no answer. I still don't know. Last night I thought I knew. This morning I'm not sure now.
This started with me requesting to be taught to help with retrievals. Was told ' Theres no time for that . Do I understand? '
Was encouraged to Talk, Listen, and Look.
Really started last March.
Eggs/ babies/ children/ past lives/
Then I woke up to holding a new born baby who says. ' WHO AM I? Very next day AKEO is brought to me ( p7, 25/5/13) I knew this was a name I had to remember. So I've been thinking that AKEO was a past life personality.
Fast forward now to present time and the the mystery seems to becoming a tease almost but so impelling that I have to find out.
The times recorded with the witch type face and theme of imposter and being interviewed at the police station.
The strange dream where he was being interviewed in the police station and at the end he says he just picks up a pen and this just happens. He wanted to take over your life. So I wondered if maybe automatic writing may be the hint here for the future.

But the other day it happened when I was writing a post. AKEO came up in capital letters when I thought I was typing a different word in small letters then stopped to notice.
I think this whole mystery of Who I Am? has been leading up through different stages , still with teasing and mystery but for me to work out my name in spirit. AKEO.
( Michael Newton s book of past life regressions clearly has the participants when in trance and back in the spirit world all recalling spirit names they are known as rather then in the physical)
So that being sorted but I still don't know who I am. All I have is a name. So who's helping me? AKEO ? But that's me ?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAh
Going out now to do some chopping of the hedge and watering of plants. Stay grounded. Too early for the wine.

Just to update how things are.
Still have not eaten any red meat. Surprised how there are so many other alternatives, and in fact just as enjoyable. Loosing weight also ( part of this I believe is cutting down on bread also)

Sorry but today have decided to delete the rest of this post.
Reason.... I need to stay focused , positive and grounded.

I had an experience early this morning that I had decided not to record on the journal. This was a very important event for me but had me thinking just how far do we go before the warning signs start that have us wondering if we are are hallucinating . Everything has been so exciting and ' other dimensional' and in fact linking up. I believe everything so far that I have written , because what seemed weird to someone who read for the first time would actually make sense eventually to complete some kind of story.
So , before writing this I will remind myself of the time standing in someone's room where her placemats were mystical with someone sitting on top of a fish and flying in the air. This helped me feel that what I was experiencing may not be the same but was just as crazy. ( but the mats are sold world wide and acceptable)
Am I going crazy ? No! Throughout the day I hold down a very respectable caring self employed profession which gives me the opportunity to interact with many beautiful minded people.
Am I hallucinating? I don't know! If I am when did it start because my experiences have linked to a story which could take days or a few months to link in to a greater meaning.
IA, this is because you feel we should not censor what we get.

OBE.
After the last OBE and feeling I had failed in running away at the hint of a challenge the next couple of days I felt so abandoned. I seem to now know when spirit are around.Normal dreams to do with family life ( the above deleted ) Early hours I picked up " all I can do is lift you and the rest is up to you. '23rd ' and I saw this written in metallic blue.
Early this morning, rested, bathroom, little energy work but had set the alarm for 7.30 for work. Feet, could feel the tingling. Little brow work , silenced, trance, now the engine noise, not too loud . Pleased at this so focused on noise( I don't think I was specially focusing on the brow area) Raised up with astral engine type noise.after so far I remember the rest is up to me, so I tried to zoom up with force to get to the stars but if anything I carried along in the same direction which was sideways.
It gets lighter and now in front of me I see 3 giant chairs facing a wall. These were dentist chairs. Now I'm in one of these dentist chairs and I just know this is a test of fear.I can still hear the loud astral engine type noise but now I can hear the dentists drill. My chair is turned round with absolutely no request of mine but I was prepared .
"I said as it turned " okay okay, I know you cann't hurt me so just go away" . As I said that I saw a giant spaceman with a helmet on and a massive drill . He disappeared . Back to body. End of.
Back to sleep picked up
A post man delivering me a parcel.
Being told I had stayed till the end and only one left to do .
Saw a double decker bus and a famous personality ( Jeremy clarkson and his other half) on the top of an open double decker bus as it goes down a 180degree angle and they show all you have to do is crawl down like this as they crawl down the front of the bus. 26th)
So what I'm posting here is something I would have rather not. But have just read Robert's Catch Basket link' and we have to leave behind our beliefs and go with what we experience.
so I experienced this!
I feel if I had posted that I had had a battle with a devil and a sword fight with a warrior this may be more accepted as mystical.
I feel I need to finish with one last thought.
What we experience is related to our believes.
If you follow the mystical pathway and fairies, angels , dragons, etc etc, than when being tested you may encounter an experience involving these types of figures, and see this as a mystical challenge .
As I don't go down that route my challenge has been of ordinary everyday life. ( the dentist chair, the double decker bus)
But I still finish with at what point do I realise I may be hallucinating? Simply because this isn't like mystical tests but real life tests but not during normal physical wakening consciousness.

Dream this am
I wake up to the song ....' The sun always shines in rainbow valley'.
I see myself propping up the washing line with the prop whilst two people pass me to go into the house.
I think this was a different dream.
I'm collecting young children and take them to a big house. A friend is with me and she has done the same.
There's something about my sandals and they are causing me to take my time in reaching the house. Difficulty in walking in them . As I'm now thereI ask where the rest of the family is . I'm told they have gone to the park. Do I want to go there? "

Imagination is ground central in the astral plane. It is what we imagine that, with enough investment, precipitates into the material world of our daily experience. Robert Bruce, among others, is a shepherd of our imaginations and can have good and productive influence on the underground aspirations of our imaginations. And so, imagination, by virtue of its binding connection with our subconscious, brings the worldly unseen and unknowable to our consciousness and enlightens our world view often to the benefit of our peace of mind and well-being.

The lucid dreamer is always awake, always interpreting - and- like you, Susan, encountering possibilities and that only imagination can present. You imagine and you create. It's not just a good idea, it's the Law. :)

Woke up to " I'VE GOT MY EYES ON YOU".
recalled dream.
I take a seat at the front of the class and the teacher gives me a thin newspaper. I have to answer two questions but I have to read the paper to find the questions.
( this person had no identity to remember. Just female, therefor I don't associate this with a teacher as I've done in the past so may have been just my dream mind.)
However I started to wonder why I picked up the first bit about the eyes. Decided to look into brow and silence mind. Nothing.so back to sleep.
Between 6.30-9.30 in and out of consciousness each time waking up to hearing a song being sung. Feel as though I've had a lot of different topics covered. One was seeing my hand being handcuffed. ( been over spending again and promised myself I would cut down, specially after the symbol of the tiny white purse flashed up as a symbol and was told treasures are found within a few weeks ago.( Infinate Father) ) also I picked up again that I have to re-read the paper to find the questions.
The last song I woke up to was ,
" CANNT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU, YOUR LIKE HEAVEN TO TOUCH....bla bla bla....
As I heard this I wondered what time it was as I could hear traffic outside. Decided I was out of time to try anything, time to get up when I picked up ". BUT I AM TIME".

So having written this all down I'm drawn towards the beginning and end. Both the song ,and the first bit is about being watched.
Cann't take my eyes off you and I've got my eye on you.
I think these two comments were the answer to my thoughts.
Yesterday was thinking of having a barbecue and it was very tempting the idea of having some lamb or steak. Going on holiday soon and my thoughts went to the temptation ahead also with the meat. I actually wondered if I did have just a little bit if it would be noticed. Whether I would get away with it ( stupid I know) and wondered if spirit would acknowledge this possible failure. My overspending also could refer to this.
Definitely feel everything remembered had a female presence so the words of the song at the end are irrelevant I think.