IA´s dream diary....

In last night dream I was wrapped in a blanket and wearing my night dress?? I went out to visit my cousin P but did all the time be disturbed
and ending up in situation of various happening, like when I went into the house to take the staires up a book-schelf was blocking my way,
so I turned around to take the elevator but in the elvevator was a women moving out of the building and she was sitting in a Wheel-chair,
telling me that she have got to know a place with much lower rent than this flat she has in this house, and she was going into the garage,
I helped her with her bag´s out of the building.
I took the elevator and reached my cousins door, someone unknown opened the door, her appartament was in disaray and I was wondering
what has happened, she told me that one of her friends with several children has moved to live with her. I appologixed me not being dressed
properly and that I felt such a urge to visit her quickly and therefore I was not dressed and was wearing my night dress.
To my surprise she was knitting a jumper with many details, I tried to ask her how much did it cost her the material and how much does she
sell it out, she did not want to tell me?? But she said, I have already sold one. It was so much work with one jumper that I was thinking that
it is not cheep the yarn to it and it will take such a long time to knit it, I tried to help her but I am so much worse in my hands that I was so
dissapointed that my knitting was so bad that it did not have the quality what it has had before.

I am sad today......

In last night dream I was helping my mother at her work, she was a cleaner whole her working life. I was reprimanded by her because I did clean on a area what did belong to one other cleaner, mother was so irritated and told me to stop, I did not feel it was that big matter as she did see it.
I did work very long time with a mirror what was full of poop from flies, it was hard to get real clean.

Last night dream is really disturbing and I just wonder what does it say??

My sister and me had taken mother at home, dead, we did put her on the couch and I did make a bed for me besides her, in the head end, it
was that I could lean my head toward mothers. I did go out of the room and when I come back my mother had taken my place, I went out
and told sister to come and look, she only shook her head and sighned to me to be silent.
I went out for a while and now when I come back mother was sitting on the couch still with closed eyes, I again went after my sister to come
and look, she only looked without saying anything, and now mother started to talk, here I awoke myself....

In last night seequencens the first I was walking on a road and lookin up on sky, I saw a beam of energy come towards me and hit me, I did be aware in the dream that I might project out of my body now, as usual I become to exited and now I lost my awareness but I awoke when I was
flying towards a car and now I closed my eyes and I went throgh it...

and now I was into a new seequence....I walked towards a food-shop,
out of the shop came an old co-worker to me, she did see me but was not sure if she wanted to talk to me so I said Hi, and she asked if I
was living here and I said yes.

Here I entered a somekind of collective living, I hear an infant crying and I walk to see what is going on, in the room is a father with his small
child both wearing a inhalator mask, the child cry no, no, no....I walk to face him and take his tiny foot and say, when you cry this much
it will take so much longer before the medicin will help, now the child stops crying and the father sighnals to me to stay, I make a bed for
the Child but he want´s me to also sleep with him so I lye me down and the child at once falls to sleep.

Here in this seequence I was sleeping in my bed and was again hit by the energy beam, and now I said I want the one who is this strong in his
energies to manifest, and to my surprise I see a man sitting besides me in my bed, and he puts his finger to my mouth to be quiet.....

In this seequence I was standing in a cue in a café when a man with a huge German sheperd dog enters the café, the dog spottes me and comes
so near me that I feel it total invasive, I tell the owner to take the dog away, but he does nothing, he feels that if he say to the dog to leave me alone he has offended the dog´s feeling....where ever I move my self the dog followes me and sits so near me that I can´t breath, he is so huge, but he does not be agressive but only invasive, total invasive ...

It was a busy night :-)

In last night dreams I was in another location, I knew in the dream that it is another location, I was with others in a car, but we had to drive inside
another big it was like a boat or likely, every car had it´s own cage, I was looking up into eyes of the one who loaded this car´s, and he did nod
at me that we have to drive inside this vechile.....

In this seequenze I was carrying my grown up child, we have bean in Finland visiting family, and they did never tell us that there will be a selebration to the uncles house, so I find myself and my son alone left behind, and not told where they went, so I took my son in my arms
because he was so ill and not able to walk I had to carry him, when we are walking towards the uncles house we have to pass it to go to
the buss station, my aunt U does recognize what has happened, and she is so in shame, and she does shout to us to come and be with
them, but I said we have to take the bus to make it to the train to go home, she is now little bit agitated that she did this with the others,
against us, so she arranges someone to drive us to the town to our train.....

In this seequenze I was told that I had bean an hard worker....and I know I have.

In last night dream I had full confidence in myself, it felt odd, I who always is so unsure and afraid, felt so confident, it felt good but stange,
It will take time to adabt to this feeling.

In last night dream I was back to my aunt´s house to clean it up, I has few who helped me, I found a yellow rosett, and I said this I have to carry
downstairs, I noticed before the staires there was a string placed near the floor, if you go downstairs at night you will trip on the stairs?? I noticed this but did not say anything for not to judge in wrong way, the persons who helped me asked if he was a psychopath, I did not answer, I only said, I see there has been put poinson on the floors so do not put your fingers in your eyes or mouth. In the kitchen whas my mother and I showed her the bow and she said to put it in a plastic bag.....

I know what this is about, it is about the 1980-81.....

Last night I have just fall to sleep I was awaken by first hearing some noice that catched my attention, it was pitch black but a light flached and I could see a symbol I can´t say that I can tell how it looked like, but it awoke such a trememdeous fear that I was clear awake at once.
I now started to listen and feel if someone was in my apartament, but it was none there, it was this "dream" that made me afraid.??

Then rest of the night was me like arguing with several persons, it was an atmospher of teasing each others....this is very unusual feeling for me, and it is hard for me to tell how it felt....like one person who liked the cat Garfield and he is holding the comic book in his hand little bit hiding it from me, and I go...so juvenile....so not me at all....or maybe very, but I did not recognize as feeling me ...or this part is unknown yet to myself??...

Yesterday I started to say, I want to know more about my future...and this thought did be in mind the whole day, so when I went to bed to sleep last night, first I started to se images like a film but very distant, so I tried to see, but it was not seeable at all, so I give up, but my dream was like this; I went to gynecolog and I asked to tell me if there is something wrong, she took a swap stick and did dig deep, and the stick was black, she did look little bit worried but tried her best not to make me start to worry to much, so in the dream I was getting back flachbacks of the film before my sleep and I could see this seequence now clearly...so I felt that okay, it was this and that I now can trust more subtle images too, I can both see and feel right.

The only thing I remember from my dream last night is this: I was inside a huge building, I was following some one out from the building,
I see it open the door out of the building, I feel the frech breeze but the door closes just infront of me and I was not able to forse it open??

Back ground info from waken reality: I had to go to emergency yesterday because I erupted a dominal muscel by only sitting on a exercycle and not at all forcing but pedal very slowly and gentle, my body is giving in, I can not do anything at all without injuries, I do long to go home, so I feel this dream did show me it is not yet time for me to go home.