GRATITUDE LIST

-finding out i'm going to be in a publication in scotland. i am officially international.
-seeing beautiful pictures of myself
-rags
-B and I talking again. I texted him and he apologized a lot and we talked all day. It was nice.
-getting more organic chemical peel today
-nice spaces
-great uber prices
-becoming better at being assertive and communicative
-doing some great journaling last night working more on clearing an old limiting belief which is kind of funny considering the manifestaton i had today after that
-rest
-sunshine
-cuddle time with T kitten. he took off his damn collar again. when we cuddle he looks like he is so happy and in bliss.
-doing some studying and being almost done with the powerpoint
-getting my new insurance packet in the mail
-coffee
-M putting $50 in my account
-water
-lorazapam
-just feeling calmer and more confident since being on lorazapam
-doing some rebounding and getting a sweat in and how good that feels
-style and fashion
-doing more decluttering last night
-the apricot bread i've been eating today.i can only eat light and this works fine when i toast it
-quiet
-nightskies
-opportunities
-pinterest
-the law of attraction becoming a little easier again
-TV episodes online
-coca cola
-feeling more confident about my looks
-my clothes fitting looser
-umcka
-my ysl lipstick
-my teddy bear hairbrush
-seeing what i could've sworn was a pig on the way home. was so cool and bizarre. i just googled pig symbolism and it says ferility. i DID see the pig right after talking about how we feel about kids with B. Very odd. I was the one saying i don't want kids and he said he does and he asked why not and i said i'd consider it if person im with really wanted them
-being in a pretty good mood all day
-beauty
-my lips
-my teeth
-music

-bananas
-water
-iced coffee
-coca cola
-yoga
-physical exercise
-T kitten and how adorable he is
-laying down
-doing more studying and being almost done with the course i'm on
-inspiration
-my ambition
-going to therapy today and it going well
-texting M and asking if she could take me anywhere soon. my lorazapam has me feeling bolder and according to M's husband more child-like and happier. She asked if i meant the mall and said she is going swimming on sunday and i can go also pilates and then yoga tomorrow so i'm going to try and do at least one of these things.i think it's key to healing.
-B and I talking again today. We got into another fight again. We talked on the phone though for over an hour when he was done with work and it was nice but i wonder if we are compatible. He was feeling more feisty today and even made a couple sexual remarks and called his ex a bitch. We laugh a lot but i literally wondered a moment ago if we will end up just really good friends. There is chemistry there. I noticed that and then shortly after he brought it up that he thinks we have more chemistry then compatibility but we have some compatibility too. He called me beautiful today and says i'm adorable all the time and added me to facebook today. He thinks he may have met me before. I am not sure but that'd be really interesting if we have.
-finding my old rollerblades in the basement. i had thought ex best friend stole them so what a happy relief to find them
-spending some time laying in the sun today.i wore my shades and laid on my yoga mat. the cats tend to come by me when i do this which is interesting. I listened to some music from my phone while doing this. it felt very healthy and nice
-feeling overall more confident and uplifted lately
-TV episodes online
-finding a music group to feature in 2nd business career thing i do
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-lorazapam
-biotene. i think it's already starting to reduce my dry mouth
-feeling more confident about my teeth lately
-my lips
-having a kind heart
-having a great personality
-my phone
-music
-uber
-having money in my account
-getting paid anyday now
-feeling more energized
-deep cleansing breaths
-my self belief increasing a little bit
-having nothing to do tomorrow
-certain areas of my life kicking into gear a little bit

-talking to B pretty regularly. today he said he starting to care for me.
-being in a mostly good mood today
-lorazapam
-going to the gym with M. was a little awkward. Her friend D was there and suggested we take a bike ride soon and i said yes. lorazapam just chills me out and makes me relax and not care as much about the little things that'd grudge me.
-spending time with T kitten this morning having him in my bed
-enjoying the sunshine today
-getting my T cat custom portrait pillow from istanbul today
-getting my cats knee high socks in the mail today
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-water
-M making me a protein drink for dinner
-M bringing some clothes in my room that are mine and had been on the couch and i hadnt seen them in awhile
-music
-makeup
-my ysl lipstick
-positive new changes
-TV episodes online
-adding money to my savings
-my new mint green hoodie i wore today
-my style
-yoga pants
-coffee
-water
-new opportunities coming to me
-working tomorrow
-how adorable T kitten is just sitting in his little outdoor cat house
-meditation and how grounded it makes me
-finding my rollerblades i thought ex stole in the basement very randomly last night
-my heart chakra spray
-my escentric 02 perfume
-confirming a music for my 2nd business
-deep cleansing breaths
-night skies
-deodorant
-beauty
-inspiration
-meeting inspiration
-the careers i do for a living
-getting the powerpoint 2013 certificate completed

-TV episodes online
-buying a succulent skin cream with aloe in it
-still talking to B regularly
-working today
-the internet
-music
-getting some sun
-going to new places
-seeing art
-stretches
-being around cool things
-my team lead being excited to work with me and vibing well with each other
-sunglasses
-nightskies
-cats
-naps
-lorazapam
-potatoes
-grapefruit oil
-iced hazelnut almond milk latte
-aloe juice
-cold fruity drinks
-blankets
-my new socks coming in the mail
-my bed
-my beauty
-self compassion
-glycolic eyecream
-my hydrocortisone calm clinic cream
-uber
-dimmer lights
-becoming stronger

-alo juice
-finding out my appt tomorrow isnt until 6pm
-going swimming today and how nice the water felt
-B to talk to
-compliments
-rest
-blankets
-my mint green hoodie
-my silver swim bottom from tobi boutique
-TV episodes online
-M buying me a marshmallow dream bar and iced frap
-my bed
-new experiences
-abstract art
-uber
-becoming more fearless,confident,and competant
-buying the succulent skin gel the other day
-M putting more money in my account today
-my stomach feeling a little better today
-meditation and how grounded it makes me feel
-the hydrocortisone cream i've been using on my face
-sunshine
-nightskies
-naps
-deciding to go ahead and still paint the walls gray
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-the glitter pool slides
-stretches
-inspiration
-staying strong and trying to be happy for the little things
-kindness in others
-that i am growing as a person
-having a young look
-friendly people
-future exciting job opportunities
-space and space inspirations
-having nice lips
-having nice teeth
-phone calls with B
-that B has said he isn't going to talk to any other girls until we meet either
-that my vibe keeps getting higher
-comedy
-beauty
-inspiration
-the industries i work in

-water
-coffee
-the lemon pie slice M got me last night that i had for breakfast
-M making me a protein drink today
-gin gins
-being in a good mood today
-sleep
-M's husband and i patching things up today
-talking to B today and him asking what kind of flowers i like and saying he was thinking of getting me some flowers
-the fan in my room
-doing some more cleaning and organizing
-M's husband buying gray paint for my bed room walls
-having a great life coaching and hynotherapy session that was really inspiring. how zen the place was. him saying he thinks i have something about me to change the lives of many and complimenting my teeth and hair and saying i am beautiful and have a calming voice. offering me a discount on our next session and just leaving feeling like i have purpose and value again.
-my bed
-blankets
-catching up on some reading
-my payment for jobs worked in may being iniated into my account
-kindness
-my mint green hoodie
-my sense of style
-my nourishing skin creams and blocks i used today
-makeup
-TV episodes online
-laughing
-music
-getting an email from someone who thinks they may have seen T cat who's been missing and exchanging back and forth emails with them

* Having a site like this that people in need can find to help them with situations / issues that are not easy to get information about

b hasn't texted me as much since tonight. it's made me a little anxious. part of what gets me is i dont even know if i likehim since i havent met him yet so all this connection could be for nothing.
-B and i making up last night and being good this morning
-going to psychiatrist and he was very happy with my progress
-naps
-lorazapam
-being offered more jobs for july
-the internet
-my body starting to look slimmer
-M making me a protein drink today
-the awesome life coaching session i had the other day which has still stayed with me
-the lifecoach texting me our hypnosis session and listening to it this afternoon
-sneaking T kitten in this morning and cuddling with him and then bringing him in again in the evening
-my style
-my glitter jelly pool slides
-doing some reading
-my bed
-my nausea seeming to decease a little bit
-chocolate mousse cake
-coffee
-uber
-the big opportunities coming for me
-letting my heart open more to the big opportunities i feel are meant to come into my life
-motivation
-my phone
-the internet
-music
-rebounding
-doing some more cleaning and organizing
-water
-moisturizers
-getting the questions done for the new group i want to feature
-sending more emails out for jobs
-TV episodes online
-opportunities
-ideas
-my creativity
-newness
-fashion
-black leggings
-my mint green hoodie
-friendly people

B and I ended. I brought up an issue that i thought made us incompatible and waited to talk it out so i said things calmly and he went ballistic on me. He said F u to me,he called me disgusting,he said I was below him and that he didnt care if i jumped off a building or cut myself and that I deserved all that he was saying. He said more,too. Idk how this happened. I must've glossed over the minor red flags. I even told him he was making me nervous and he didn't care. He so far has blocked me from bumble app and unfollowed me on instagram but is still on twitter and facebook. Twitter is what caused the problem. I noticed sometime during our argument though he had cleaned up the things that bothered me and deleted them which is interesting. I deleted his number and am very sad to have seen his true colors come out. I was polite and spoke from the heart and he just lost it. We hadn't even met yet and he went this nuts.
-talking to crisis line worker after verbal abuse from B
-talking to uncle after verbal abuse from B . Both agree to cut communication.
-biotene
-my dentist appointment tomorrow
-laying down
-getting a lot done despite it being a lazy day
-TV episodes online
-finding good news out about primary career set for tommorow
-more info on another big thing coming soon for career
-being smart
-my conviction
-sweeping my floor
-the protein drink M made me
-my check being deposited today
-M buying me cookies that were very good that i ate today
-getting my appetite back a little and nausea going away
-doing some rebounding for exercise
-bringing T kitten in room this morning to sleep with me then later in the afternoon
-how social T cat has been
-buying the funky avant garde yoga pants B said was sexy and life coach said i should gt
-buying some beauty products i wanted
-buying some pet products for my outdoor cats and my mom's cats
-biotene
-lorazapam and how confident it makes me
-striking up conversations with M despite it all
-doing some reading of the charisma book i'm on and my asos magazine
-nice weather today
-music
-fashion
-feeling more inspired to go for it
-coca cola
-my phone
-the internet
-my body getting slimmer
-coffee
-blueberry waffles
-hope
-water
-doing some mirror technique affirmations
-sleep
-crisis line workers

B this morning has unfollowed me from twitter and the dating app and has said more insults and has said he isnt sorry and i deserve them. very sad how all this happened. he is still in my facebook for some reason though. everyone has said i should cut ties with him.
-TV episodes online
-getting my teeth finished
-deciding to send flowers to my dentist even though everytime i do nice things others criticize it. kindness and ahimsa is important to me and she was an amazing dentist.
-uber
-M making me a protein drink
-T kitten
-rest
-lorazapam
-being assertive
-L randomly texting me and us vibing all day and planning to meet on the day i was going to meet B
-an attractive guy on the bumble app matching with me and chatting a smidge
-updating my linkedin
-M's friend D wanting to go on a bike ride tomorrow
-coca cola
-yoga
-meditation
-my phone
-feeling inspired to contact E from my past,and him responding and friendly. I'm glad i opened that door.
-the homeopathy medicine that's made H cat look and sound a lot better
-my eyeglasses
-laughing at life
-motivating myself when i felt down
-beauty
-feeling more confident in my body
-sunblock
-the dimmer lights
-nightskies
-doing some reading
-the cookies m bought for me
-buying myself some products to cheer myself up after what B did last night
-my nausea decreasing
-eye stretches
-hope
-peace
-love
-T cat