Trauma : is it gone ?

Hi everyone ! (again)

It is the second time I post a request here ; to sum up my situation : I ve been having very harsh bladder pain since 2002. Feeling incapacitated and exhausted most of the time, and depressed. Finally understood it came from a childhood trauma I had when 1 years old.

I know that it is part of the spiritual experience to remove it myself and to heal on my own, so I ve been doing that for quite a while and after years of struggle, finally found something that works : I have been listening to subliminal videos and I cried (quite a lot). Now I guess that most of the energetical and emotional signature of the trauma is gone. Yet I have had no improvement, even emotionally speaking. Still feeling like sh*t and wanting to suicide.

If some of you could just tell me real quick if I still have blocages somewhere (and if so, where) it would hugely help me !!

Thanks heaps. Really.

Love & Light to all of you

My first advice is entirely practical: See a doctor. I have a lifetime of bladder difficulties, starting from a very young age. Very possible (even probable) that some of it was a physical manifestation of underlying emotional/mental trauma (because I come from that kind of family), but treating the physical symptoms in the short term can give you the time and room you need to heal the underlying emotional/mental trauma that causes the manifestation to continue. Last time I had an acute bladder infection was over ten years ago, but it was the sort that can actually kill you in a matter of a couple of days without immediate treatment, so I really have to advise you to take every medical care you can, while working toward a more permanent healing solution.

Okay, that said, it's possible that some people are able to sense where/what needs healing, but I'm not one of those people. I can and do counsel and advise sometimes, having overcome a great deal of trauma of my own, but without listening to a fair bit of backstory, I can only ever make a wild guess as to what the problem might be. You're in a far better position than anyone else to do that kind of soul searching.

I do have a bit of advice on that count, though. :) Intention plus surrender never fails. Set the honest and true intention to find the root cause and heal it, and commit to the process of doing that. Then surrender to whatever that process ends up being. Sometimes it's fairly easy, sometimes it's difficult, sometimes it takes a long time, sometimes it's pretty quick. Don't struggle against whatever comes up (in fact, struggle, resistance, of any sort always makes everything more difficult, pretty much without question), and let it run its course. In time, you get to where you recognise patterns and flows of emotion and all sorts of subtle energy things, and it becomes more and more easy to heal yourself.

I hope this makes some sense to you. I do send you my love and compassion. I totally understand where you are and what you're going through, but it will get better once you've sorted out the trauma you're still holding. (Oh, one other thought. Give yourself permission to release the trauma. You don't need to keep holding on to it. It seems strange to say that, but just try it and see how it goes.)