I just spent a few hours recording what I've learned about lucid dreaming, how it connects to the Lucid Dreaming chapter in the book, my exact experiences and what the dream was, and so on which I thought was very informational...I briefly considered copying it just in case, but decided against it...then when I tried to submit it, it turned out I wasn't logged in anymore and everything deleted itself.. :banghead:
In light of that, here's a much more condensed list of things I did and noticed, which is probably much easier to read anyway :mrgreen::
1. So far, I've had four lucid dreams in my life, with one of them happening a few weeks ago.
2. In those three earlier dreams, all fo them ended because of strong emotions and because I let my mind wonder elsewhere.
a. Strong emotions included intense fear. I questioned if the dream was real, even after realizing it was lucid. In one dream, this even lead to ending the lucid dream and the dream continued as the dream started- it only took a small nudge before i completley lost the conept of lucid dreaming.
b. Following this often intense sense of fear, I would allow my mind to wonder onto different concepts. It was more like 'releasing my hold' i had on the current events of the dream. (It seemed to require at least some moderate degree of mental concentration, which is even more difficult to maintain while in a dreaming state.) I would allow my mind wonder, thinking about different things entirely, which would change the ENTIRE CONTEXT of the dream along with my memory that i was lucid dreaming.
3. Two of these three prior dreams became lucid frustratingly at the very end. I would spend the majority of the dream not knowing, then at the last crucial moment (typically at a moment of intense danger) I would realize iw as lucid dreaming, followed by fear, questioning it, and then overall ending seemingly minutes later by letting my mind wonder and change the dream entirely.
4. Three of my four dreams allowed me to realize it was a dream due to repetition and recognition. In one, I realized the hills i was running (I was running from somebody) never changed, and the woman i was running from never semeed to catch up. In the other, I dreamed a hoard of rats would continuously run after me, but never catch me even though i never moved. In the dream without repitition as a clue, it was actually probability. I was hiding from a lion after it escaped from the circus, and i asked myself 'what are the odds that a lion would escape the one day i was at the circus, follow me everywhere i went as if it only cared for me, follow me to my hiding place, and then find me?' I realized this only happened in movies and in dreams, where i was the main star. In this recent dream, I had had this same dream several times, and i recognized the scenario almost instantly.
About this recent dream:
1. On the previous night, I had been trying desperately to enter the state of relaxation so i could try an OBE exit technique. As usual, overwhelming excited emotions prevented me from getting relaxed, so i decided to do an alternative: relax my body, but keep my mind awake and busy.
2. Interestingly enough, I think this worked in the long shot. The last memory I have of this is trying to keep my mind awake- i never actually faltered. The dream i had was instantly lucid.
3. Oddly enough, I didn't have a point of 'sudden realization' or some epiphany that this was actually a dream. During all my other dreams, this either happened in the late middle or frustratingly at the last second of the dream. This dream, it was literally my first thought in the first few seconds.
4. I had this dream before reading the Lucid chapter in 'Astral Dynamics.' I remember thinking it was odd that i couldn't really quite think straight, and that my morality seemed dimmed. I was absolutely AMAZED that this was actually directly mentioned in the lucid dreams chapter. I thought it was just a personal malfunction, or that i was just an idiot while in my dream state.
Things I learned in my lucid dream:
1. I had lost morality and lacked normal thought processes.
a. Interestingly, it's not that I completley LACKED morality, more so, it felt like this knowledge was lost in a foggy cloud making it difficult to distiguish, as if it were too hard to even try and attempt. It's not that I lacked morality, more so, it's that I seemed to lack a clear understanding of it. I even noted this in the dream itself. In this dream, it followed my usual dreams where i woudl try to save my dog from getting injured by a wild animal. In order to prevent intense emotions from ending the lucid dream like in past experiences, i pushed my dog outside to get eaten by the wild animals. I felt smug after this, believing i had 'outsmarted' the dream (as if this is possible.) I spent the majority of the dream feeling smug about 'outsmarting' the system (these are liteally the words i used in the lucid dream. "I'm outsmarting the system!") In fact, I was so smug that I decided to go along with how the dream USUALLY GOES and even to pretend i was scared, just to trick the dream into thinking it was winning. (When I woke up, you can imagined i was pretty mad at myself :banghead: I even personally chose this over trying to morph the dream into a real time OBE.)
b. Thought processes also seemed dimmed.The VERY FIRST SOLUTION i thought up was the one i decided to go with. It was odd, as if trying to think things through was to difficult to even attempt, just as doing the right thing. I was able to think things through, but it was difficult to go much further. This is also why i decided to go along with the original format of the dream instead of changing it- the first idea in my head was to me smug about it, so i was.
2. Interestingly, I took SEVERAL mental notes for my future self upon waking up, which i did end up remembering. I thought while i was there, I should observe and learn.
a. The first thing i did (I did all of these while trying to keep two tigers from entering the house, as the dream would usually go!) was notice the differene in lighting. I noticed the sun flowed light into the windows, and my surroundings were cheerily bright as they usually were at this time during the day. At this, i thought 'note: The lighting is vivid, realistic, and does not faulter.'
b. I decided to notice how realistic lucid dreams were to comparison to reality. I thought they were very real, and everything felt intense and realistic. I tried to notice depth and the 3-D nature of things in the kitchen i was in, and also if everything was in the right place as in real life. I found everything to be as it usually is in my kitchen, although it was difficult to focus on one thing, mostly because i was trying to fend off a tiger at the same time. (I was hitting it with a chair so it couldn't get in through my dog door.) This required extra focus, so i didn't spend much time focusing on one object. I forgot the exact image as it was in my head since then, so i don't remember if it had shadows or looked overly realistic. I did notice that it was very realistic to real life.
c. I focused on myself, and tested emotional appeal. I was incredibly excited at this lucid dream, and noted to myself that emotions were just as intense as in real life. I tried to sense the ability to feel in my hands, and thought i felt pretty sensitive to things. I wanted to test pain, but i didn't want to face the tiger. Especially since I had tested this previously in a past lucid dream, and it definitely worked.
All of these little tests happened in a few moments, as i went through them in quick succession. I also noticed that my ability to think was somewhat dimmed, as i couldnt quite get myself to focus on one objective for more than a few moments before i lost interest. This was ironically forgotten after a few seconds though, as i couldn't think the implications of a loss of morality and thought processes through due to the same thing.
d. I wanted to test if i could manipulate things in dreams. I never got to this consciously, but i did do it a few times on accident and observed that i could, indeed, make things happen just by consciously causing them to manifest in the dream. These included removing the tigers from the dream so i could focus on something else, and then upon realizing they're gone, remanifesting them back into the dream as if they were never gone. When my dog eventually got to the tigers, I also made her walk THROUGH the solid material of the chairs and back into the house upon my own command so i wouldn't spiral out of control in the dream.
The dream eventually ended from what i believe is a combination of intense emotions, letting my mind wonder, and a sense of closure. I felt high emotions of excitement, fear of the tigers, and guilt after allowing my dog to come in contact with the tigers. The highest emotion i had was panic at the prospect of losing my lucid dreams, as i had done in the past (I was amazed in the dream as well as outside the dream that I could remember past lucid dreams while HAVING a lucid dream! That confirmed memory being possible while dreaming.) After allowing my dog to walk through the chairs, i felt a sense of closure and didn't have anything to keep my invested, so i accidently allowed the dream to slip. I DO, however, believe the dream kept going. I have a sense that it continued, but i have since forgot the details. I do consider this to be huge progress- now if only i could have fully controlled the lucid dream! Instead of making annoying decisions. Maybe next time?:shrug:
