Why do i scare my wife at night?

[Cirrus Minor]

Hello all, I am new to this forum and have recently started to study the work of Robert Monroe and Robert Bruce, and have not had any experiences (at least that I recall) with AP or lucid dreaming. I have started a dream journal and when i wake up i try to recall the nights experiences, usually with some degree of success.

During the time that I have been married (about 10 months) there have been a couple times where I do something like hit my wife in my sleep, but this past week has been bad for some reason. I hit my wife in the back one night, another night i started grabbing at her (all in a very deep sleep). I've sat up and muttered gibberish, sometimes words, and last night I put my hand over my mouth and started making deep unintelligible noises which scared my wife very much. It seems that it has become more frequent and I cannot figure out why.

I am not unstable or disturbed, if anything I am under emotional. I have never been through anything traumatic in my life, and although I have an unpleasant dream from time to time, I have never had problems with "night terrors". I love my wife dearly, and would never harm her or try to scare her. I have bad sleep inertia, and when she finally gets me to awake enough, I am confused and have no memory of what I have been doing and I cannot recall what dreams would have caused my actions, no matter how hard I try.

Please help if you have any advice! I do not want this to become more frequent!

[Cielo]

Do a quick search on REM Sleep Behavior Disorder. I think what pops up with those search terms will answer some of your questions. Take care.

[CFTraveler]

I do this occasionally, it's just biological. There is some overlay that happens- when it happens it's not 'her', it's who you're dreaming about. She's just there to receive the physical hits. Unless there's some unresolved stuff, of course.

[Beekeeper]

Cirrus Minor, please let us know what course you take and what works.

[sono]

I REALLY advise you to get prfessional help if possible. . . I used to have a partner who would not only talk & walk in his sleep, but who also nearly broke my back trying to beat a crocodile (! me!) to death one night. He was also terrrified of little red snakes that would apparently wind themsleves in his hair . He could have a relatively lucid conversation with me while he was in this state, insisting that he was NOT dreaming, but couldn't recall anything about it later.

On occasions it was really amusing. I used to keep a little note book where I jotted down some of his more bizarre sayings & doings, but it can also really be dangerous. One night he crept out of bed (I woke at once, am a very light sleeper & besides I was always on the alert for his strange night antics) & fetched a razor from the bathroom. I asked what he was doing & he said that he was just going to shave his brother (who was spending a few days with us) to see whether he looked like Jack Nicholson without his beard. It took some careful persuasion from me to get him to put the razor down; I also threatened him with an imagninary red snake. . . . I often wonder whether he was actually plagued by negs! But I didn't feel safe enough to hang around & find out - I left (with his little girl who lived with me for 8 years) He had had counselling for a truly appalling childhood but it was clearly not helping.

Pardon the personal saga here - I just wanted to emphasise how you can actually put yourself & your family in real danger if you don't get help.

All the best with whatever you decide to do.