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Thread: Energy Feeding

  1. #1
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    Energy Feeding

    Split from The Law of Altruism in the Healing forum

    Quote Originally Posted by dreamosis
    Yeah, it does depend on worldview. When I wrote that I was partly thinking about the concept of "soul loss"... If it's possible for us to lose, or become detached from, a piece of our soul, then I'd suppose it's possible for us to try to give it away too (perhaps subconsciously)...

    Hmmm...I can't quite articulate what I'm thinking about here.

    So, the energy that so-called psychic vampires suck out of people -- is that really healthy for them? I mean, besides from the question of whether leeching off another person is ethical or not, is the actual energy that they're sucking up work well with their energy systems? Or does it only tend to prop them up artificially? Give them a buzz, like they've eaten sugar, but not really nutrify them?

    Or, in the same turn, can it be potentially harmful to give someone else your energy? Not karmically harmful, but well, think of the times you've felt "smothered" by people who are trying to help you. You know what I mean? What's happening energetically there?

    I'm on a tangent...
    I suspect that what energy vampires lack is not energy- if they did they wouldn't make it to childhood, let alone adulthood- I think that what they lack is a certain type of affect, and that has to do with the quality of the energy. I used to know one, and at some point addressed what was going on with him. What he needed wasn't the energy itself, but how it made him feel- and like some other maladaptive habits, any affect is a good affect- and we know that misery loves company- that is, a negative event will generate more emotion than a positive one, unless you're surrounded by empaths- so they get used to creating negatively impacting situations, because violence and anger is tastier than joy.

    Think of it like this- on the surface we like what tastes better- only with age and wisdom do we seek that which is healthier to eat- but even when we choose the healthier type of foods, the tastiest of the foods are always desired. And sometimes we succumb to the salty fried starchy goodness of things that are not good for us, even when we eventually go back to the tofu salads.
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  2. #2
    dreamosis Guest

    Re: The Law of Altruism

    That's really fascinating to me -- the idea that energy-vamps are after the taste of energy rather than the energy itself. So, perhaps because they find themselves unable to be really genuinely positive, they try to steal the taste of others' positivity?

  3. #3
    niki123 Guest

    Re: The Law of Altruism

    My second oldest daughter is an energy vampire and she is an adult now but I always tried to avoid her as much as I could.She is very angry,vindictive and now is self destructive and she is the only one who can help herself because she thinks that everyone else is wrong and she is right.Having her around would make me feel sick and when she left I felt drained,completely drained even if I took precautions as in shielding myself.

  4. #4
    dreamosis Guest

    Re: Energy Feeding

    Sometimes I find the very best protection against energy vamps is not taking them personally. Almost anything anyone says or does is about them and not you. Also, protective to me is realizing that I'm in no way obligated to fix them or their problems.

    On the suggestion of a good friend my stock reply to energy vamp-types has become (after silently listening with an inner acknowledgment that I'm in no way obligated to fix them), "Okay, anything else?" At that point they either keep talking or they finish. If they're finished, I politely ask myself, "Okay, what are you going to do about it?"

  5. #5
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    Re: Energy Feeding

    My viewpoint on energy vampirism is influence by a model of the soul you can for example read in "Music and the Soul" about:

    Energy/life force is given to us by the soul. As we progress towards what the soul wants us to do, learn and experience, more life force becomes available. If we move away from that, the opposite happens. Lack of life force leads to unhappiness, depression, illness and so forth. There are other forces at play, of course, but your basic level of life force availability derives from this.

    You can observe this when engaging in an activity you love and how you could go on and on. Or how you feel sustained and uplifted by being with the right people. Compare these experiences with to going to an office for a hum-drum job where everybody competes in unfair ways. This is how we feel the life force level.

    (Don't take this too literal. Just as happiness is not physical health alone, life force/energy is not this or that. It's complex, but the feeling of having enough or abundant life force is easily identified.)

    So, in this model you can see why somebody had enough life force as a child and may still turn into an energy vampire. I personally doubt there's an inborn deficiency, but I think there might be the possibility of someone having problematic karma stemming from former lifetimes where person resorted to energy vampirism, increasing the likelihood to repeat the experience when push comes to shove. This is not quite the same, but would look similar.

    Basically you try to replace what you lack yourself for whatever reason and sustain yourself on it. And how can one come to lack life force? By stubbornly moving in an unhelpful direction, away from actual growth, following an idea because you think it is right, for example.

    You can see this kind of reasoning everywhere - "This will make me happy. I need this, I need that, and that will make me happy. I will be finally happy when I have this." When you start to enforce such an idea by sheer willpower, you can go on for a while, even in opposition to your own soul. Your willpower keeps you on going even while you have not the support of the soul. Your life force level drops, you start to feel unhappy. And in the worst case even your unhappiness acts as a reinforcement of your compulsion - only getting what you think you need will make you happy, right? So unhappiness "proves" to yourself even more how much you need this thing. You never stop and think and say "Maybe I'm heading the wrong way here." Everybody else is wrong, they don't know how it feels, the pain and misery you feel makes you lash out and so on.

    Such personality patterns can lead into exhaustion, self-destruction and/or energy vampirism. You get to a point where you cannot sustain yourself anymore, but instead of giving up the destructive pattern you start to fuel it with what you get from other people - their time, attention, energy. You drain other people and sustain your own ends.

    I think many other problems can compound this and reinforce this. And I don't think energy vampirism is the only possible outcome. I think energy vampirism happens when you have this specific reaction pattern in you. Until this is overcome, it will happen again and again, and possibly worsen.

    Oliver

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    Re: Energy Feeding

    Sometimes I find the very best protection against energy vamps is not taking them personally. Almost anything anyone says or does is about them and not you. Also, protective to me is realizing that I'm in no way obligated to fix them or their problems.
    I'd like to extend the notion of energy vampire to those people who are relentlessly cheerful but still damn exhausting. The ones who seem incapable of reading social cues and who desperately want your approval so that you feel kind of awful every time they alter what they've just said because you didn't agree with it. The ones who never stop talking as if they're afraid everything would disappear if there was a moment of silence, who pretend to know what the conversation is about even though they clearly do not and who invade your personal physical space.*

    It seems some vampires want attention and power, some want pity and others want approval. In all cases their need seems excessive and leaves you feeling drained and "slimed".

    *Think Brendan Fraser's character in "Bedazzled".
    "A dream is a question, not an answer."
    (Therapist and dreamworker Strephon Kaplan
    Williams)

  7. #7
    dreamosis Guest

    Re: Energy Feeding

    False positivity can be as draining on me as overt negativity, true. Although, false positivity usually feels to me like it's sourced from some underlying fear, whereas overt negativity -- or attention-seeking apathy -- is more about pain.

    I bring it up because I find falsely positive vamps can stop or their feeding if you boldly risk to break through the superficiality and send them the message that they're loveable. Of course, genuine compassion can be exploited to -- to some unconcious individuals it just means a meal.

    Stopping the feeding of overtly negative or gravely indifferent people, though, in my experience, takes firmness.

  8. #8
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    Re: Energy Feeding

    I bring it up because I find falsely positive vamps can stop or their feeding if you boldly risk to break through the superficiality and send them the message that they're loveable.
    I'm referencing particular students I've taught over the years and one relative. My experience has been when I've affirmed them and been patient and kind to them, I have a hard time getting them away from me. I did find something that worked once. I was doing first aid at a cross country carnival and found myself surrounded by such kids with all manner of malady. I noticed that as they accumulated in numbers, they ended up quite happily chatting with one another and I had blessed relief.
    "A dream is a question, not an answer."
    (Therapist and dreamworker Strephon Kaplan
    Williams)

  9. #9
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    Re: Energy Feeding

    Fascinating discussion. A lot of things here resonate with me or make particularly good sense. This is just my random blatherings, freeform, so, eh, take it for what it's worth.

    My mother is an incredible energy vampire. I grew up as her primary source of "food", but I learned on some level how to turn that around and feed on her, in turn (this was wholly unconscious, on both sides). I can definitely see the "I will be happy when X happens" cycle that Oliver mentioned. There was also a pattern of deliberately pissing off the other party for the purpose of energy feeding. To "win" one of these completely pointless encounters gave a sort of "high" (and to "lose" resulted in pain and often depression). Some of this is just typical dysfunctional co-dependent interaction, of course, but I am entirely convinced that there were energetic issues going on.

    In fact, they continued even up until a few years ago, despite the fact that I had stopped talking to my parents many years prior. I had to go through repeated rituals to sever the energetic/psychic bonds, and I had to set up specific shielding against my parents (my father is not so much an energy vampire as he is just pathetically persistent, and he regularly showed up in my dreams to bother me). When I first did the cutting of psychic ties, there was a tremendous psychic backlash from them, which is why I had to set up the shielding before I could continue.

    Interestingly, when I really cut the ties to my mother, I had a dream about her where I understood that she was retreating into a sort of psychic basement of her own making, and when I woke, I knew for sure that she was slipping into dementia (after a lifetime of making up lies about your own reality, it's no surprise, really). It was later confirmed by a third party that my mother very clearly has dementia, and that it was getting more and more noticeable.

    I think that, in my mother's case, she believed herself to be "cut off" from the infinite Source. When her dysfunctional bonds to other people (such as myself) were cut off, there was no longer any way for her to get fresh energy, because it was blocked by her own beliefs. Every time I've tried to help her, sending healing energy or whatever, she just tries to drain me again, hence the very strong shielding against her. Best I can do now is pray for her, because for my own health and sanity, I can't make any direct contact with her. It's all very sad and pitiful, but she created that reality, and she's so deep in it that she's never going to get out of it.

    This is, of course, a very extreme case, and most energy vampires I've encountered were much more subtle and easier to shake off. Obviously, a parent can and generally does create very, very deep energetic bonds to a child. The simple "office downer" is much easier to block and deal with.

    Like I said, stream of consciousness. Take for what it's worth. It got some value from writing it, anyway.
    May the light surround you, may you be blessed. May the light surround us, may we be blessed. May love and light surround us all, and may we all be healed and blessed. And so it is, and so it shall be, now and ever after.

  10. #10
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    Re: Energy Feeding

    nature could not fail to nurture. when the world is strained from nature it as well constrains its products from the only source of present nuturing capacity.

    the import of spiritual awakening is to return any one back to nature, their true nature 'in it', wherefrom would arrive what cannot fail to nurture.

    in the statement "God Alone", and i like add "and You", this statement is essentially about a world product as mankind being re-in-formed in their own unique nature relative to the absolute unfailing nature of 'what is' that nature all around and all within us, that nurtures humanous.

    what is false within anyone cannot be but darkness, as in the shadows of what obstructs nurture.

    what is not real, thus being in the darkness cannot find in true nature a reflection, for a reflection is interdependent upon light. thus, without a lighted reflection (nurture) what is not real must source itself to You for the hunger/thirst to be satiated.

    this in its entangled turn is that which would suck one's self-energy to depletion of the real You, illness requiring healing, healing being true nurture from nature, one's true nature in establishment of true self.

    not real means that these are merely of thought constructed form bled out of the imagination and therefore leaving one bleeding off to/for them, they having taken on a not real livelyhood just as any one may take on an unreal livelyhood via our shared world constructs, a livelyhood dependent upon sucking off what folks require for a moderate living, unsharing ways that open/leave the doorways open to poverty/impoverishment of the many.

    as above, so below; as below so above

    as within, so without; as without, so within

    etc...
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