Date: 12/10/19

Time: 10.30am

Becoming Lucid
I opened the back door to go into the garden, it was quite windy, the first thing i saw was a large bright red rose bush and the garden was brimming with bright colourful flowers and plants, the colours were stunningly vivid.

I realised that this was not my garden, but my childhood home garden [my parent's home] ....... I knew i was dreaming..... i was happy.

Lucid dream
It had obviously been raining earlier as the driveway was still wet, i was wearing fluffy/comfy socks so was unsure of how to proceed. I decided to keep my socks on and walk on the concrete driveway to see what i would experience.

i did think that i might not feel the effects of the wet ground through my socks if i 'willed' my feet to remain dry. As i walked on the wet concrete my socks began to get wet and i could feel the coldness & wet sensation, but it was less bothersome than it would normally feel in waking physical reality.

When i got further down the driveway, i was unsure of where i wanted to go, or what i wanted to do.

i thought i could, continue to explore outside, or go back inside to explore or try flying.

i decided to explore the garden some more first.

When i got to the wrought iron gates i decided to test my strength and pushed up on my arms to vault over the gates. it was good to have the ability to hold my own weight with my arm strength again.

Now outside of the garden and on the public path i then did a forward walk-over and some forward summersaults. i enjoyed the sensation of the summersaults and was engaging deeply with how the experience felt. This seemed to cause me to get stuck upside down in the sommersault mode for several seconds.
i 'willed' myself out of the stuck experience and decided to go back into the garden to explore some more.

There was now a large pine tree sitting on the driveway, it was decorated with large red bauble-type objects. It had a thick brown tree trunk and the branches were fairly sparse, i decide to try and climb the tree.

As i climbed the tree trunk bent and broke, it seemed this tree was an artificial tree that could not support my weight.

Just then my mother came out of the back door, i thought i would get told off for breaking the tree, but she didn't seem to notice myself or the tree. She was busy attending to the bird table.

i went over to her and she looked very much younger than i remembered, the age she would of been when i was a toddler.

She said something about a freezer and a holiday, i explained i didn't understand and she pointed up the road as she talked again. i looked up the road but didn't understand what she meant.

I asked my mother if i could still visit her after she had died, just like i was visiting her now and she replied 'yes, i could'

i told my mother i did not want to live without her in my life and she replied she was 'sorry' .....we hugged.

i began to cry and got really upset, this upset was soo strong i decided to 'pull myself' out of the dream so i would not have to linger in the overwhelming grief for any longer.

i woke up, still feeling the physical sensation of the grief in my body, which took a couple of minutes to clear.


Notes
  • i had planned to do some gardening when i awoke in the morning, i thought i was going outside to do this gardening when i realised i was not awake but 'dreaming'
  • My parents garden never had a large red rose bush that i remember and the dream garden was filled with alot more colourful flowers too.
  • i think the effect of having wet socks was less bothersome than 'normal' because i had already thought about attempting to experience dry feet instead of wet feet and this then had some slight impact on the outcome of my experience.
  • the front garden where i was exploring was where i used to practice gymnastics as a child and think this triggered my gymnastic actions during the dream.
  • i never did mange to forward summersault un-aided in this physical life
  • it was the anniversary of my mother's death 2 days ago, she 'passed' 18 yrs ago