Sono's Journal

[wstein]

One or particular relevance was memories of coming directly here from a 'previous' life without the usual dying and spiritual review.

That's how all of my lives have been. I still had to enter my human bodies the usual way, but the memories begin by descending to earth, then...well, I am curious now. Did you resolve much of your "vague early life interdimensional experiences?" It sounds as if you haven't. So what would you say has been blocking you from doing that?

Although I done much work on and have gained much information about most of these incidences, I have not resolved many of the ones before (physical) age 16 months. Why not, that's a good question.

Part of the answer is that I reacted to these incidents by building industrial strength shielding to protect myself. I still perceive the threats and so am reluctant to take down the protection. I know that at this point its more counter protective than helpful. However, those safety oriented parts are not easy to convince when the danger is still so easily visible.

One of the few things I am afraid of is my true power. The poster child for this is that one of my other incarnations accidentally unexisted an entire universe in such a way that it can not be recovered. In that universe was something he greatly cherished, causing regret. Although it was entirely inadvertent, he has not forgiven himself. I do not know that this incarnation possesses that kind of power. It could be that the story is only symbolic of the size of my fear but I think it demonstrates the character of the situation. Clearly I not quite ready to clear that one.

In one of the other situations an interdimensional being came to 'look in' on me or so it claimed. When I perceived it, it claimed it didn't think I could perceive it and so would do no harm. But I did and it did. This made me deeply suspicious of its motive. When pressed further as to why it was looking in on me the story did not ring true. Oh it was a nice story but I was not convinced. Maybe it was true but now the whole thing whatever it was is now messed up. The problem is now I don't know what to believe and haven't figured out a way to determine the 'truth'.

As you may have figured out by now, I'm not good at blanket resolving issues that are too unknown. I have been told to 'just let go'. While that is very easy for me in the present, somehow for past issues it doesn't work.

[star]

Yikes, I came across that sort of thing when I learned to project into other dimensions - projecting into certain places removed the limits on my energy and if not careful it was easy as a thought to screw things up.

[star]

I feel cut off from the rest of me. A can perceive myself over 'there' but can't make contact. Think about seeing your severed arm in a display widow behind bullet proof glass. If only you could get it, you could be whole.

-Would the Gnostic teachings of Samael Aun Weor on the multi-egos that comprise what we view as "ourselves" have any relevance to this? He advises his students to kill off the egos, not to integrate them. . . . .

Think he means incarnations in other dimensions, not ego's or mind pieces. I could be wrong

ctf thanks for the link

[Korpo]

As you may have figured out by now, I'm not good at blanket resolving issues that are too unknown. I have been told to 'just let go'. While that is very easy for me in the present, somehow for past issues it doesn't work.

Is that your problem? You cannot let go of past issues?

Focus on the issue, feel associated energies, follow the energies, stay aware of them, let them dissolve until they resolve to space. You might get flashes of insight, of the underlying meaning at that stage.

This utilises the energy underlying an issue to unravel the issue from your mind and energy.

It's a very technical way of "letting go", but if you don't know how to let go that may be exactly the way to go that might help you.

Oliver

[wstein]

I feel cut off from the rest of me. A can perceive myself over 'there' but can't make contact. Think about seeing your severed arm in a display widow behind bullet proof glass. If only you could get it, you could be whole.

-Would the Gnostic teachings of Samael Aun Weor on the multi-egos that comprise what we view as "ourselves" have any relevance to this? He advises his students to kill off the egos, not to integrate them. . . . .

Think he means incarnations in other dimensions, not ego's or mind pieces. I could be wrong

It goes far beyond both of these. I am not distinguishing trivial differences in type but considering all parts of my divine self. As far as I can tell, the divine is divided into pseudo-pieces (the divine is not really divided). These pieces can overlap, connect, or be separated or so it goes in this experience. I can sense my divineness unseperated, all one. Yet somehow I can see part of me/it over 'there'? I can't seem to get over there, its like some kind of invisible barrier. OK, so maybe divineness has size or something but shouldn't I have access to the rest of 'me' even if it's over there? Its a sense of being fragmented (separated) at the divine level and yet still being aware of my oneness.

[wstein]

As you may have figured out by now, I'm not good at blanket resolving issues that are too unknown. I have been told to 'just let go'. While that is very easy for me in the present, somehow for past issues it doesn't work.

Is that your problem? You cannot let go of past issues?

Focus on the issue, feel associated energies, follow the energies, stay aware of them, let them dissolve until they resolve to space. You might get flashes of insight, of the underlying meaning at that stage.

This utilises the energy underlying an issue to unravel the issue from your mind and energy.

It's a very technical way of "letting go", but if you don't know how to let go that may be exactly the way to go that might help you.

Oliver

Just for the record, I have used the following techniques in order to attack these issues: meditation, energy tracking, energy pulse, energy blast, energy resonance, OBE (locally, in historical time, interdimensional), joint OBE, lucid dreaming, current and past life memories, pondering, hypothesizing, blanket release, emotion tracking, watching and tracking my behavior and response pattern, feeling, intuition, knowing, ESP, revisiting childhood homes, asking parents, asking others with talents. I have done a great deal of work on this kind of stuff, these are the remaining stubborn few.

It's not that I can't let go in general. Generally the past is the past for me. Its when something 'bad' happens and I don't want it to happen again. Unless I can understand why it happened and thus make some attempt to avoid it in the future, I hold on to it. True, too much holding on to unknowns is a burden. Once I grasp what happened and have some sense of how to proceed in the future, I let go easily. Also if I determine that it was a random event or I have no way to avoid it in the future, I let go naturally.

One of the commonalities of the ones I'm still holding on to is that when I let my defenses down just a bit, they happen again (usually quickly). I do test from time to time. Its like leaving the front door open, its not long before pests wander in the house. These pests are bothersome and can be kept out to some extent by keeping the door closed. Walking about with a net on your head works but is more of a nuisance than the pests. Maybe this 'problem' has an eloquent solution or maybe it doesn't. In the meantime, I keep the door closed most of the time to minimize the number of pests. I prefer a little too much shielding to a NEG problem, but an actual solution would be better.

[sono]

So "who/what" is it that is doing the actual perceiving?

If one supposes "you" are the a central nexus, do the other "portions" of you have their own sense of awareness? Like the cells in one's body, in that the overall consciosness is not aware of them or how they function, so if one were to amputate an arm, for eg., those cells would die & possibly "perceive" the amputation as an act of violence directed at them individually .. .can't really express this thought! I think I mean: is there a central "Thing that says I" or is that also part of the self (?) deception?

(BTW, as a child i was consumed by guilt about a semi-recalled past life in which I was involved in genetic experiments to improve psychic powers; but now I see it as too glamorous to be a "real" memory - I wonder, though) How can one approach this without painting oneself into a corner?

[sono]

I feel cut off from the rest of me. A can perceive myself over 'there' but can't make contact. Think about seeing your severed arm in a display widow behind bullet proof glass. If only you could get it, you could be whole.

-Would the Gnostic teachings of Samael Aun Weor on the multi-egos that comprise what we view as "ourselves" have any relevance to this? He advises his students to kill off the egos, not to integrate them. . . . .[quote:1zw86v15] Think he means incarnations in other dimensions, not ego's or mind pieces. I could be wrong

It goes far beyond both of these. I am not distinguishing trivial differences in type but considering all parts of my divine self. As far as I can tell, the divine is divided into pseudo-pieces (the divine is not really divided). These pieces can overlap, connect, or be separated or so it goes in this experience. I can sense my divineness unseperated, all one. Yet somehow I can see part of me/it over 'there'? I can't seem to get over there, its like some kind of invisible barrier. OK, so maybe divineness has size or something but shouldn't I have access to the rest of 'me' even if it's over there? Its a sense of being fragmented (separated) at the divine level and yet still being aware of my oneness.[/quote:1zw86v15]


Sorry, I meant to quote the above for my last post. . .

[Korpo]

It's not that I can't let go in general. Generally the past is the past for me. Its when something 'bad' happens and I don't want it to happen again. Unless I can understand why it happened and thus make some attempt to avoid it in the future, I hold on to it. True, too much holding on to unknowns is a burden. Once I grasp what happened and have some sense of how to proceed in the future, I let go easily. Also if I determine that it was a random event or I have no way to avoid it in the future, I let go naturally.

You constructed a very elaborate reason for what you can let go of and what not. No wonder you cannot let go of it, because you are requiring for yourself full understanding of everything before letting go. That is a mental habit that actually should create things you cannot get rid off. It is a higher level version of perfectionism, as you strive towards total control. Total control over what occurs and why.

You cannot prevent bad things of suffering by just trying to control more and more, you cannot control all and everything. This striving by itself is infinite and recreates itself as you interact with infinity. There will be always something outside of your grasp, there will be always something unexpected or not understood.

Mathematically it would equal to going towards infinity - there's always another step. The only mathematical solution, if you bear with this explanation is not to iterate through the problem. The solution lies in letting go of everything, so that dealing with an infinite set of problems, parameters and circumstances is no longer a problem. Change the problem you are working on to one that has a solution within finite time.

As long as you still attach to some things that attract your interest for whatever mental reason you can construct, you will be defined by these things and they will prolong the problem.

If that is your innermost strategy of dealing with things, not a single of the techniques you mentioned can help you. If you are not willing to let go, meditation can not lead to liberation. Nor any of the other ways. It is your inner choice whether you want to or not, and no technique, method or tool will override that.

One of the commonalities of the ones I'm still holding on to is that when I let my defenses down just a bit, they happen again (usually quickly). I do test from time to time. Its like leaving the front door open, its not long before pests wander in the house. These pests are bothersome and can be kept out to some extent by keeping the door closed. Walking about with a net on your head works but is more of a nuisance than the pests. Maybe this 'problem' has an eloquent solution or maybe it doesn't. In the meantime, I keep the door closed most of the time to minimize the number of pests. I prefer a little too much shielding to a NEG problem, but an actual solution would be better.

What in you attracts them?

Oliver

[star]

I've always wondered about the Neg thing myself - think its just a path some people walk, I have friends who experience attacks nearly every day. Myself, I may have had a couple in my lifetime.