Heliac's OBE Journal

[heliac]

quite an active night, not too sure why, seemed out of the blue.


A lot of energy moved around. I lay down in bed for a little bit and start to dip down into sleep and i feel a firm tap on my foot. I recognized it as some kind of dream-like activity since i was teetering on the edge of lalalland and ignored it.

Shortly after the tap i feel a firm surge up around my tailbone and there is the tangible brushing energy ebbing and flowing all around my tailbone.

From there the energy roams up my back to the top of my head and i feel it swirling and throbbing heavily. I noticed an interesting thing at this moment. At some point i was also dreaming about this experience. I had split awareness partly on a dream that my scalp was being massaged by and old Chinese lady. Once i realized i was also dreaming of the energy experience i focused more on the energy experience and the dream faded away.

After focusing solely on the energy experience at the top of my head the sensations intensified. The energy sensations were initially localized to the top of my head, perhaps across a 2 1/2 inch circumference. After focusing solely on the energy experience it spread to the entire circumference of my skull at about an inch above the top of my ear.

After spreading to a widening circumference around my skull i then saw sparkling light, kind of like what you see from sparkler fireworks http://youtu.be/uUD_wGdlM4I. That only occurred right at the onset of the spreading across sensation and faded into visualizing a single white light color.

The white light extended up and out of the top of my head, which felt very visceral and real. It felt as if the energy was an extension of myself like it was an arm reaching out of the top of my head and waved subtly and smoothly in the air like a tendril. Very very bizarre...

I didn't know what to do from here so eventually the experience faded and i clicked out.


Almost forgot to mention a cool thing that happened this morning.

As i was waking up, i didn't get up right away and was feeling really lazy. I started to see off in the distance within the black behind my eyelids what looked like a movie screen.

At the same time i could also feel my awareness moving slowly closer to it which subsequently brought the movie screen closer and in better view. It got close enough for me to recognize that the image contained in the movie screen was some exotic island space. Looked a bit like a paradise island.

I clicked out before i could make it there, seemed like every time i tried to take a closer look at the picture it started moving away.

[CFTraveler]

Nice phasing experience, Heliac.

[heliac]

Had another nice energy experience last night.


Before going to bed, i played around a little bit with feeling emotions. I was attempting to tap into the cathartic calm that occurs post experiencing touching sentimental moments.


I did this by imagining things like reuniting with long lost loved ones and just let emotions go.Felt very nice to release some tears and was nice and uplifting.


I was able to maintain the peaceful calm feeling and added other feelings into it. A feeling of general well being, appreciation and thankfulness and love and acceptance and let the emotions roll around in this clear peaceful space.


By this time i had been laying in bed and started dozing off. At some point while i was falling asleep i had lucidity jar in from the tangible energy sensations. This time the sensations were in my gut, the lower energy centers. i felt a gentle rolling right at the center and as i honed in on the sensations i was able to see what it looked like. The rolling swirl looked like a slowly churning swirl of rainbow colors. I remember noticing how pretty it was and how it was a neat thing to see, but started getting tired and fell asleep.

[heliac]

Had lots of energy last night. I've been going to the gym more often and it is boosting my overall energy levels. I went to bed with lots of energy and had a feeling i would have at least some kind of experience, since my waking mind was pretty alert.

These past few months I've been experiencing things going on in a trance more audibly. I usually experience phenomenon in trance tactically or visually. It is very very interesting experiencing more audibly, in that information i am receiving is easier to understand, for the most part.

About a week ago, while in trance, i was nice and warm relaxed and listened to words coming to me as clear as day advising that i take better care of my health. It was as if my body itself had words and was sending a message. How the message was presented made more sense than if it had come from a doctor, friend or family member. And it hit home in a way that stayed with me. Since then, i'm finding it not so difficult to eat more healthy options and exercise more often. When presented with choices it is easier to side with the conscience that knows better.

Last night i heard a multitude of pops, bangs, clanks, children playful giggles. At one point i heard someone familiar calling my name, i could have sworn they were right next to me had i not known i was in trance.

[heliac]

I had a very interesting trance experience.
While laying down to go to sleep, i felt quite at peace and comfortable but also a bit anxious because i had to do something the next day that was a little unnerving.I stayed still for a little bit and began to feel peace and comfort lay over me a little bit more as i started fading away. I felt my legs disappear which is always a good sign that trance is very close and after a bit of time i felt a jolt hit my chest which knocked in an enhanced awareness. I felt the familiar tangible energy wrapping itself around my waist and roaming around my gut. The realness of the sensations were pretty amazing and when i feel it this much i get taken a bit back by it.


This time i decided to just let it go and see what happens and the roaming sensation begins picking up and feels like there is an arm literally inside my belly and lower back that is moving around on its own. It literally felt like my intestines and muscles and tendons and all were being pushed around. Very very bizarre and a little scary.


The tangible sensations moved around to my lower back where i had an injury that when at its worst keeps me from being able to walk, although that hasn't happened for several years. Recently this injury has been acting up and the problems with the nerves has been moving down my right leg. The tangible sensation continued roaming around the injured area and started to pulse in the lower back area around where my tailbone is.


The pulsing gradually became more distinct and visceral and started spreading up my body to my chest. all the while i can also hear a humm that goes along with the pulsing. The humm started out low and raised in pitch a little bit as it got to my chest area.


At this point i was hyper aware, very curious but also a bit scared because of the physical nature of the sensations. I felt like i needed to open my eyes because i felt like if i could see what was happening it might make me a little more comfortable. When i opened them(astral eyes) i saw a small purple/violet/ultraviolet flame like heat wave centered in my plain of sight. This gradually grew until my entire field of vision encompassed this violet colored mish-mash heat wave. While this is happening i am still feeling the pulsing which is now becoming almost like a jolt with every pulsewave.I look around my room a little bit, look up the wall and down the side of the bed i am laying on and the violet heat wave is everywhere.


Psychologically i really start to feel fear come in but it is a sort of detached fear meaning i am able to see it coming and see it more of an organic response to all of the oddities that are occuring. I realize i am creating the fear myself but since it is coming from somewhere as an automatic response i can't stop it from happening without abandoning the whole experience itself. I feel like the fear is coming from somewhere very deep seeded and raw but i can see it quite clearly. It is kind of hard to describe what is happening at this point but it is sort of like i reached a psychological template where fearful responses come from. It seemed to be a creative template, meaning all or some automatic responses to people or things are created, stored, edited here. This is where meaningful ideas about things that shape your behavior are planted.


Since i was still detatched from the fear i was able to recognize it as being totally unnecessary at this point in time and was tapping into joy and love. Like the tangible sensations the emotions behind all this were also very visceral and raw. These are things that are deep inside you at your core that shape your overall outlook and understanding of things.


I started to waver a little bit i think psychologically it was a little bit too much to handle all at once. i started to fade back awake. When i woke up i felt a bit blown away. It probably doesn't sound very mind blowing but it is really difficult for me to describe. So many things were going on at once and i highlighted here.


What i took away from it was that things are a lot more changeable than i had previously thought although it can take profound visceral experience to see how choice can change things. None of this sums it up though.


Once awake i was very clear headed but still a bit stirred up. It was almost as if i was expecting the tangible sensations and the feeling of being mind blow to continue while i was awake, which it didn't and i was very happy about that. Part of what i felt during the trance experience is how the mind creates your reality of experience and in some respect i understood how some people could go mad if they were stuck in that mental space if the automatic fear responses can not be handled.


I had to get up watch some tv and do some every day things to ground myself and then went back to bed.


Since then i've noticed a few things a little bit different in myself. I find it a bit easier to find joy and happiness in everyday occurrences. When people smile i often feel it a lot more in myself. There are days where i could walk around smiling for a good portion of it in part because it almost feels like i can touch the essence of where that comes from in myself. Although i feel like i need to hide this a little because it is little things that don't normally make other people quite as happy as they make me.I know that it is not really socially acceptable to walk around with a big grin on your face for what most others would probably not notice at all.


But also i have felt terrible sadness and i am starting to feel a paternal/maternal concern for people i have seen who are not well. This i have found i can do little about, it is not really my place to do anything about. But i will do small things that will hopefully brighten someone else's day.


If i have food on me and i pass by a homeless person i give it to them. The last time i remember feeling like doing that was when i was a kid. I've given a good bit of money, not too much though, to various charities. Helped several friends of mine pay for incredibly expensive cancer treatments. Generally just do a bit more where i can.

[Korpo]

Hello, heliac.

Smiling at others already is a good start and worthwhile. I noticed that making eye contact to people who are just doing their job, smiling and being kind transform the world a little at a time. Basic pleasantries, kindness, not trying to be the first at everything like the supermarket checkout - it all helps a little.

So - smile if you feel like it. It's a good thing.

[heliac]

Hi Korpo,

you are right it is a good thing, thanks!

Laying down last night, i was woken up into a trance state by the tangible lava lamp like sensations. I feel the sensation running up my back and up my front. Not quite as visceral and raw this time, a bit gentle but still just as real feeling.

It was becoming so gentle and warm this time i was able to really relax into it and it started to feel like a deep internal massage. As the sensations pushed up my back it went up my neck and to the top of my head where at the top of my head i would feel a little sparkling bubbling sensation, kind of like soda. That sensation would then drop down into my head and fizzle away.

When the sensations would push its way up my neck i had the distinct feeling that my head was moving along with it physically but can't be sure. It was as if the sensations were physically pushing and positioning my head forward very gently.

When the sensations fizzled away i checked to see how close i was to projecting if at all. I lifted up and down my left hand to feel the quality of the movement. I have found the main distinction between physical movement and OBE movement is that there is no "muscle" behind OBE movement. If i were to ask myself to move my left hand up and down right now i would be able to feel the bones muscles and tendons moving along with it. When moving the OBE hand, there is localized sensations of movement without muscle, bone or tendons. The "muscle" behind OBE movement is realized intent.Trying to illicit OBE body movement by feeling muscles and bone movement does not work for me, it sends a confusing message to my brain. "Do you want to move your physical body or your OBE body"? This is the message i am imagining is happening unconsciously. Has this been other's experience too?

Once i got a feeling of my left hand i then moved my right, opened my OBE eyes and looked at my arm. It was a very cool semi see-through liquidy/airy looking arm. After this i stood right up again making sure not to reference the physical sensation of getting up but rather an effortless "get up" without physicality. It is the kind of movement you would have if you didn't even notice you had a body. I looked around my room a little bit and didn't really see any fluctuations. I jumped up through the ceiling and could see what looked like all the little fibers of the house. Upon exiting the ceiling the night sky was clear and dark dark blue. I shot up into the dark sky and began moving faster and faster through it until i could see what seemed like thousands and thousands of stars passing me by. It felt like i was traveling the speed of light and also felt a bit like being on a roller coaster at least in the beginning as i was picking up speed.

When i came to a slow stop i was surrounded by empty space. Pure dark quite emptiness. It was peacefulness that you feel all the way down to your core, it was also very restful. I still felt like i was not all quite there yet, in that it felt like the surrounding area had a lot more than i could take in. The peacefulness still wasn't quite whole probably because i was observing the peace and not being the peace. There was a border that was defined as me and the peaceful space being outside of me in the area i was. I imagine the best thing to do when seeing that is to let go of the borders, it is something i will have to give a shot next time i get there.

[heliac]

Website for warming up the dropping sensation that occurs prior to OBE
http://www.fallingfalling.com/

[heliac]

It was a nice night last night. It was much warmer and i could smell the ozone after a rain. I lay in bed with my head by the open window just smelling the air and feeling the nice cool breeze come in.
At some point i started to drift off and got hit with the tangible energy sensations again. This time it really hit me quite hard and i felt myself start to shake in bed, mostly just my upper half. I had to calm down right away to get the shaking to stop, it took a little while to do that but once i was calmer and warmer the energy sensation calmed down a little bit too. Still very very tangible the sensations do what they usually do and roam around my front and back and fizzle like soda at the top of my head.