Good stuff! Gosh isn't it so encouraging to find another who can relate to your experience? Sounds like we have a lot in common!
Yes, the victim identity... Boy howdy is that one a doozy.

It's founded on quite a tangled knot of negative beliefs. I found that some of the beliefs that drove my victim consciousness were driven, in part, by a subconscious belief that I had to self-punish, which is sometimes based on negative beliefs about self-worth, the good ol' shame and blame game. Most of these beliefs rest in the subconscious and so most people aren't consciously aware they even have these beliefs. It is as you say though, others do reflect back to us our subconscious beliefs and so knowing that, we can use that as a tool to learn who we have become and what we believe, deep down. It takes courage to face that mirror though and we will see things we maybe don't want to see or have a hard time facing. The mirror isn't always obvious though and can take some time to discern what is being reflected back. For me, this works well because it empowers me to own my creation. I love this saying "If I have everything I want, why do I want what I have?" If you think about that, it's very wise!

A good example of a wrong conclusion or negative belief based on a misunderstanding is this story. My friend who does work in the subconscious had a female client who had troubles with trusting men. In all her relationships, this issue came up over and over again. She did some work and found that way back when she was a tiny child, she was very ill with a fever. Her father, in trying to lower her fever, plunged her into a bath of ice water. She was so little, she did not understand that this shocking and scary act was an act of love. Deep down, the belief was formed that her father tried to kill her! No wonder she wouldn't trust men. Very curious how these things can work. This trust issue can also twist and turn into a self trust issue because when we are faced with the scenario where we perceive our lives are threatened, we come to believe we cannot 'protect' ourselves, which is in itself a whole 'nuther can of worms. Couple this with forgetting our true nature, our true selves, we soon find ourselves thrust into the very weak position of powerlessness seeking control.

The reason I am coming to see this as my reality is that I did some work to identify and defuse a few of these beliefs and it was stunning how things changed, overnight, suddenly people had completely changed! I realized then that it wasn't them who changed, it was me. I changed my consciousness and so was able to change my reality. I would not believe it if I had not experienced this first hand.

The Universe really is about abundance. We just forgot how powerful we are at manifesting everything we are experiencing. We have been wounded by separation from source, wars, persecution, abandonment, etc. and after having fallen asleep, it's become near impossible to see the negative beliefs formed from these perceived wounds. We have been living in a deep slumber, far from the reality of who we really are.

The victim cycle is not an uncommon experience here on Earth (or elsewhere, for that matter). Seems a lot of people are processing this issue here. The folks who are processing through this consciousness seem to fall into either a victim or victimizer role, these two consciousnesses seem attract and gravitate toward the other. If one zooms out and looks at our society, as a whole, it tells this story over and over again throughout history. It was true back in the days of Moses and it remains true today. I think of it as an experience in polarity. Even our tales and fables of ET involvement incorporate this idea. (sometimes they are the victimizers, sometimes they are the saviors saving us because we are victims who need saving - either way, it's about the victim, vicimizer and rescuer).

After much pondering, I have come to the idea that for me, the trick is to integrate these polarities and find a common, balanced vibration. This integration is not a fusion, but something else which I have not yet quite worked out.

Anywho...............Very nice to meet you Cat, I look forward to more discussion with you!

(Man.... Hope all this doesn't sound too whacky, lol I jumped around a bit so this may have cohesion issues. I need to get to bed.)