Day 4:
Excellent dream recall this morning. I am beginning to notice the difference now from doing the dream journal. Many different moments, from many different dreams. One thing I notice is that when I am writing in a dream journal (I have done it off and on throughout my life), I always wake up in the early morning, around 6am, automatically, to note down any dreams, and then go back to sleep and wake up again, and recall more dreams. It's strange. Anyway, I believe I even had a dream that explained the meaning of an earlier dream. I feel like sharing it here:
In one dream, I was running on the surface of the ocean. Then I saw that there were these huge beasts swimming in the water, that turned out to be bulls. I was sort of afraid them, running away, but I was also sort of taunting them, like a bull-fighter. I woke up and jotted it down, and then went back to sleep.
Later, I had a dream where there where was a stage show happening, sort of an open mic, with high school kids playing music and singing the blues. I had that horrible feeling that I get in real life when I had the opportunity to be on stage or take part in a show, but didn't take it or missed it, and then when sitting in the audience, feeling like I really should be up there and feeling sick inside that I'm not. Anyway, the show ends and there's this movie screen with all this text going by real fast, so fast I miss most of it. But it's all inspirational words about being creative and artistic. At the end, it says something to the effect that artists have to be artists, they have to create, in the same manner that birds have to fly, and "bulls have to fight". When I read that, in the dream, I said to myself, "Oh, so that's what that dream meant". When I woke up, I understood that the bulls signified my own creative energies that I am just toying with, avoiding, and not really facing.
Anyway, on to the exercises. Today was difficult, on account of me having stayed up late last night, and I felt really tired and resistant. I found it more difficult to focus than usual. I felt a lot of inner resistance to the tension/relaxation exercise (what my wife likes to call my "whiny baby" side) But I really noticed the effects of the exercise. I felt really at peace and relaxed in my body in a unique way, even blissed out a bit, like I'd had a nice massage. The breathing exercises were good. My mind was wandering and unfocused as usual, but there were moments of genuine calm and inner peace, and I felt like I could just sit there forever breathing in and breathing out. However, the body awareness exercise I had a lot of trouble with. I spent an hour with it and I still felt like I rushed it, and should have taken longer. When I read Brian Mercer's comment - that one will feel their toes really tingling and active, and not to worry as it will go away - I felt discouraged, since I felt almost nothing. I had felt some slight tingling as I was doing the exercise at times, but nothing obvious and definite. I feel like I may do the same exercise tomorrow, separately from the usual routine, just to get the practice, and spend more time with it.
Ok, on to Day 5!
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks