Awareness

[ButterflyWoman]

I've been blessed by a propensity to gravitate toward light and positive energy, and am generally a positive and peaceful person.

This is, indeed, a blessing. Those who have a lot of negative thought patterns and habits of belief tend to have a much more difficult time of it, from what I've seen (and experienced directly). Negative beliefs tend to generate some pretty horrific blockages, to say the least.

(Side note: Negative and positive are purely subjective, and entirely dependent on context and framework, but in this case, there's no other way to describe it, so I'm using those words. Words are clumsy tools.)

Obviously though a kundalini awakening is a peak experience there is a lot of growing from there to be done. It is just the beginning, not the end, that's an error I think people make in understanding why it is not easy, why it doesn't solve everything.

YES. Absolutely.

Somehow over the last six months I seem to have experienced a leap in awareness.

Me, too, actually. Interesting. I wonder if there's a trend. I don't believe in coincidences, so I assume there's some synchronicity there.

I have felt my mind expanding, and I find myself observing discrepancies and seeing issues and corrective work that must be done. Details at work and at home, and everywhere. When I try to communicate, I am finding other people not aware of what I am noticing, and I feel like I am in the twilight zone. It has been noted by others with active kundalini, that sometimes one can feel difficulty in expressing thoughts and feelings.

Oh, yes. Yes. I call that "speaking martian". You speak, thinking you're being completely clear, and it gets misunderstood or ignored or worse, or they just stare at you blankly like you've suddenly grown an extra head. Very frustrating.

I think now it is partly because one is so aware of what they are expressing, that they find words themselves problematical or inadequate. I think also in the case of trying to describe spiritual ideas, thoughts that seem simple on an inner level often turn out to be completely beyond the power of words to express.

Absolutely. I am so there.

Besides the twilight zone effect, the heightened attentiveness to discrepancies causes a kind of mental ache. Pressure builds up in my third eye region, when I am concentrating on something intently like a book for long periods.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I get so mentally fatigued sometimes. I just clam up entirely because it feels like I'm trying to swim through porridge just to communicate. Lately, I've taken to having breaks from communication of anything more than surface smalltalk and mundane daily household chatter. And on some topics, I've pretty much given up all attempts to communicate.

I am wondering if anyone can relate to this, the wide awake mind that keeps picking up on everything, and if so, what's good way to turn it down a bit and let it flow through.

Yes, I absolutely relate. At the moment, I manage the experience by just retreating from communication when it gets too overwhelming, and working on fully accepting that I do see, experience, and understand in ways that are not easily communicated, and that a lot of my insights are things that, even if people could understand, they may not be able/ready to understand, anyway (I apologise for how arrogant that probably sounds; unfortunately, I can't find any other way to express it).

I'm slowly starting to develop a kind of equilibrium and discernment as to what to attempt to communicate and to whom. Still not there yet, though, so until I get that balancing act worked out, I suppose I'll just be retreating when necessary and knowing that this is why there are koans, parables, and other mysterious means of communication when it comes to matters spiritual. There are no means of communicating these things, so you just do the best you can with the tools you've got available.

I would have replied to this post earlier, but I was in my non-communication cave for a while, sorting out some attachments that needed to be dissolved and just taking stock of the situation as it appears to now exist. I trust this is a temporary thing, but if it isn't and I'm going to spend the rest of my life being unable to communicate the experiences and insights that flow so freely and deeply in my reality now, well, okay. I have to accept that. Resistance is futile.

(It's a good day when I get to quote the Borg Collective. )

[farewell2arms]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I get so mentally fatigued sometimes. I just clam up entirely because it feels like I'm trying to swim through porridge just to communicate. Lately, I've taken to having breaks from communication of anything more than surface smalltalk and mundane daily household chatter. And on some topics, I've pretty much given up all attempts to communicate.

That must be soo nice. Sometimes I wish I could just do that. Not having to say a word to anyone.

Sometimes people just seem to get irritated with me for reasons I don't get. Sometimes they don't even answer when I ask a question. So why do I bother? I don't know. Maybe I'll just stop.

[White_Raven]

Caterpillar Woman,

I'm so glad you shared your experiences, I can relate to them totally

(Side note: Negative and positive are purely subjective, and entirely dependent on context and framework, but in this case, there's no other way to describe it, so I'm using those words. Words are clumsy tools.)

That is so right. I studied in the Western Mystery tradition awhile and one elementary lesson there is learning to overcome the instinct to view certain things as negative that are not. In particular, there are lessons concerning serpents, and, for example, how the serpent in the Garden of Eden was not evil but simply symbolic of the awakening of knowledge of good and evil. There was no change in truth, only a conscious recognition of negative things that humans need to grapple with issues animals do not have to. So if I have a dream about a serpent I will welcome the positive in it, and not say, "OMG, a snake, what a nightmare!" And clearly, this all relates directly to Kundalini and seeing the good, and the whole subject of awareness...

Obviously though a kundalini awakening is a peak experience there is a lot of growing from there to be done. It is just the beginning, not the end, that's an error I think people make in understanding why it is not easy, why it doesn't solve everything.

YES. Absolutely.

Also during discussions in this thread I had a wonderful epiphany about K. Years ago (pre-Kundalini) after achieving a blissful, completely pure moment "in the light" I came back to reality to find the state would not transfer or manifest on this plane in that form. Instead, it would go through a "prism" or sorts and divide into the opposite colors of the physical plane and lose that pure light form. I realized that Kundalini goes through the same prism in our bodies and that it never made sense to expect perfection spiritually or in one's life in any way because of Kundalini. It was a such a wonderful moment where I felt both Kundalini and me were absolved of the perfectionism need and the false expectations and could just be, in peace.

Somehow over the last six months I seem to have experienced a leap in awareness.

Me, too, actually. Interesting. I wonder if there's a trend. I don't believe in coincidences, so I assume there's some synchronicity there.

The whole world is undergoing an awakening right now.

Oh, yes. Yes. I call that "speaking martian". You speak, thinking you're being completely clear, and it gets misunderstood or ignored or worse, or they just stare at you blankly like you've suddenly grown an extra head. Very frustrating.

I’ve been confounded by the way that happens with sharing truth that is not deep, spiritual, or complicated. Awareness for me means noticing how something as simple as clutter in your home and life can really cause problems. Getting the blank stare from others for me means, “yes, I understand you are saying clutter is bad. “ But they did not understand the point that I have banished clutter for important reasons besides just being a neatnick!

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I get so mentally fatigued sometimes. I just clam up entirely because it feels like I'm trying to swim through porridge just to communicate. Lately, I've taken to having breaks from communication of anything more than surface smalltalk and mundane daily household chatter. And on some topics, I've pretty much given up all attempts to communicate.

Swimming! That is the same word I use mentally, when both communication and manifestation run extremely slow. I’ve come to see that I am swimming the most at work, and in society (being put on hold for ½ hour on some phone menu) and that all I can do is limit the amount of swimming and frustration in one day. I am certain that Kundalini or not, everyone can feel the “Flow and Energy, Interrupted” effects that are none too pleasant.

I am wondering if anyone can relate to this, the wide awake mind that keeps picking up on everything, and if so, what's good way to turn it down a bit and let it flow through.

I'm slowly starting to develop a kind of equilibrium and discernment as to what to attempt to communicate and to whom. Still not there yet, though, so until I get that balancing act worked out, I suppose I'll just be retreating when necessary and knowing that this is why there are koans, parables, and other mysterious means of communication when it comes to matters spiritual.

Yes, and in all matters. I have found that simple wisdoms answer to greater balance. Good daily routines, exercise, not pushing too hard. Drink plenty of water. Have a good laugh. Love yourself and others. Simple wisdom is powerful and I am embracing that!

[ButterflyWoman]

I’ve been confounded by the way that happens with sharing truth that is not deep, spiritual, or complicated. Awareness for me means noticing how something as simple as clutter in your home and life can really cause problems.

*sigh* Tell me about it. Getting people to understand the simplest observations is sometimes very frustrating. I'm to the point in my own home where I'm just going to start telling people, "I can't explain it, don't challenge me, just do it!" Not that I expect that to work, but sometimes the Mother Goddess thing has an effect.

Swimming! That is the same word I use mentally, when both communication and manifestation run extremely slow.

Sync!

I have found that simple wisdoms answer to greater balance.

*nod* Good observation. Yes, this is my experience, too, though I hadn't articulated it. I generally use the word "subtle" to describe these things, because they do require such delicate balance and, well, subtlety.

Good daily routines, exercise, not pushing too hard. Drink plenty of water. Have a good laugh.

Already there.

Lovely to communicate with you. Rest assured I totally grok.

[White_Raven]

Caterpillar Woman,

Lovely to communicate with you too! Is there some shakti-bliss icon emanating golden light with rainbow strands and beautiful vibes? LOL No, but here's some cominatcha, have a beautiful one, soul sister!