Thematic Dream Journal

[poème]

Since I'm in the process of going through my dream notebooks to look for recurrent themes, I thought it could be interesting to share some of them here. Of course, everyone is welcome to comment, even if it is to disagree on something. As long as it's respectful, I don't mind a little controversy. I think it helps to think things over more thoroughly. You may also share about your own dreams here, as long as they go with the theme. Or, if you already shared such a dream in your own dream journal or somewhere else on the site, it would be great if you could send the link toward the right page, so that people interested in the topic may also read other related dreams.

[CFTraveler]

Fascinating post/thread. I hope you don't mind this comment, I want to come back and read it when I have more time, and then I'll delete this.

[Beekeeper]

Poeme, I've taken to reading your thematic dream journal and must say that I'm not only enjoying it tremendously but relating to much of your dream imagery. Like you, I've found deeper meaning to my dreams by looking up words (and numbers) that yielded relevant information that I didn't know consciously.

I loved what Oliver said about peak experiences. I hadn't really considered this but it feels very true.

[poème]

CF,
I don't mind at all... I was actually pleased to read that you had a good time reading this!


Beekeeper,
Tremendously! Now I'm blushing
More seriously, thank you for the encouraging words and I'm really glad you can relate to this!

Like you, I've found deeper meaning to my dreams by looking up words (and numbers) that yielded relevant information that I didn't know consciously.

Numbers too, you are so right! Phone numbers, adresses, bus numbers... Numbers show up constantly in dreams, and yet I never really paid much attention to the possible deeper meaning underlying these... I shall take a further look in my dream journal, I think

Korpo,
I just read this article again, with new eyes, thanks to your insights (optional karma makes so much sense!), and this passage strongly caught my attention, especially the last three words:

When yoga and Buddhism say that what you desire will keep you bound to the cycle of death and rebirth, they know whereof they speak. There are other ways of clearing out optional karma without such a sense of obligation to others--for example, by realizing it is optional.

It is optional... For some reason, it speaks to me a lot!

[poème]

June 12, 2011
Spirits of the forest
It’s a beautiful day. I am standing near a clear stream of water running along the border of a forest, only a few feet away from it. (In the dream, I actually think of the stream as a ‘torrent’ despite of appearances, perhaps because it has a strong current.) I look at one particular spot of the ‘torrent’ as it seems to be sparkling, and this has me daydreaming about the water spirits that may be living in this part of the ‘torrent’. I remember that someone told me I possibly had nature spirits around and I wonder if these spirits he thought were accompanying me are of that kind. I remember reading afterwards that such spirits rarely showed themselves to humans and I wonder if I could be lucky enough to see them. I try to take a closer look, but no, even though I am convinced there are spirits in that part of the stream; I can’t seem to be able to see any. However, there was more to come…

I then look at the forest. It is bright and clear, tranquil. I try to commune with the forest for a short moment when suddenly I see, appearing between branches, a deer (possibly a stag actually) gracefully approaching toward me. Then I also see another deer (a doe this time) also approaching. And then, to my amazement, I see a fawn! It’s a beautiful sight, a real pleasure for the eyes, although I am not sure what to do and why they all come toward me. Then I no longer see deer. Instead, I see a man and a woman walking hand in hand. They are smiling. And their child, a little boy, comes to give me a hug. I find him so sweet and I can’t help but to feel that this moment is very special…

The guardians of the stream
I was really told, in the waking state, that I possibly had nature spirits around, which is why, in the dream, I was thinking about what I was told and what I had read afterward on the topic. This person’s guess was that they were around to protect me. In the dream, the stream where I thought the water spirits lived seemed to circle the border of the forest. It may indeed be seen as the protective border between the unconscious (the forest) and the conscious (the other side of the stream, where I was first standing), and the nature spirits may be seen as emissaries connected to both worlds, the guardians of this threshold to the unconscious.

Interestingly, later on in the dream, the stream apparently disappeared, since I don’t think I moved from where I was standing, and I don’t remember the family crossing the stream to come near me, as if the barrier between the conscious and the unconscious mind had then dissolved, as if the guardians of the threshold had temporarily granted me (or them) access for this moment to happen…

Power animals
Who was this couple and their child, and why had they first appeared as deer? Surely, this had a meaning, I wondered, and as I was giving this some thoughts, I was reminded of topics I had seen on the forum about totem animals (also called power animals, or animal spirit guides), so that week, I started reading articles on the web about the topic and discovered shamanism in the process: http://www.shamanlinks.net/index.htm

From the shamanism perspective, power animals are guardian spirits who come to share their gifts, or the ‘powers’ and wisdom which the animal is said to possess and which are passed on to their protégé through their teaching. Some may come to us for a time only, and some may be with us since birth. It is thought that children are often aware (unconsciously perhaps) of their power animals and that this may show through as a strong attraction to a specific animal. When I think of it, believe it or not, as a child I was constantly drawing…deer (and unicorns, but I don’t think this one counts as a power animal in the shamanic tradition ) I even recall imagining a story about a girl living in the forest who would transform as a deer at will…

As I was reading this article, it felt so strangely true to me that the qualities taught by the deer were qualities I had been working toward all along (doesn’t mean I’m there yet, but I genuinely want to learn!). I could no longer doubt the existence of such a guarding and guiding energy in my life, whether it was to be seen as a power animal or as something else. This is not ego flattering. On the contrary, discovering one’s lifelong ‘power animal’ may help one realizes what needs to be developed, and what one may be here to focus on in this life. And these may be clues to find out the ‘master intention’ of the true Self… You may want to give this a try too

The stag and the doe
And there was more to it… Indeed, I was to find out, only later, that the symbol of the deer has been actually used in this dream to convey more than one meaning at once. I realized this only when I started working on this text. I had learned before that a male deer was called a buck in English, but in the shamanic article, there was this other word, which was also obviously used for a male deer: stag. For some reason, I felt compelled to check in an online dictionary what the difference between a buck and a stag was and this is when I noticed, at the bottom of the page, the expression ‘stag and doe party’. I suddenly remembered that not so long ago (after I had this dream), one of my students and I had met in the elevator a young man who was about to get married and who talked about this to my student who had once been his colleague. Teachers, indeed, can learn a good deal from their students and well, that morning, I learned what a ‘stag and doe party’ was, an English expression I had never heard before.

Luna and Sol
At the time, although I could understand that a stag was the groom-to-be and a doe a bride-to-be, I didn’t click on that a stag and a doe were actually deer, so I didn’t see the link with my dream right away…But I certainly did, when I checked that dictionary Indeed, we have here a clear allusion to this very recurring alchemical marriage theme (conjunction stage) going on in my recent dreams. The stag symbolises the groom-to-be, Sol (inner male aspect), and the doe symbolises the bride-to-be, Luna (inner female aspect). Moreover, when the couple took a human form, Sol appeared on the right (male side) and Luna on the left (female side), just as the couple always seems to be pictured in alchemy’s imagery. It seems like even such details are taken into account in dream imagery, and that even they hold a symbolic value…

And there is still more… Almost a year ago (August 2010), I had also dreamed of a deer (see The White one from the series To see or not to see – Part IV – A path of transformation). In this dream, I was holding on a leash a white male deer who then transformed into a white dog before I finally decided to let him go, although I was so attached to him I felt really sad about it.

I had linked this dream to the separation stage (III) in alchemy, and indeed, it had felt to me as if a part of my self had gone far away. The conjunction stage, which follows the separation, is about the joining together of these once separated parts of the self. I find it intriguing that this same symbol (the deer) was used back then. It leads me to think that it was Sol (the male deer, a male inner aspect) who then had to go. All this time however, we were still in touch (in the dream, I was given a white cell phone so that I could always reach him) and now, he’s apparently back… and in love, which is good

***
This entry is going to be the last one on this journal for a little while. I am going out of the country for six weeks and I will probably be very busy enjoying my travel, which means I probably won’t have time to ponder and write 3 pages long texts meanwhile

Besides, to be very honest, this voyage comes right in time since I need to take some time away from the forum at the moment, but chances are I’ll be back in six weeks, with lots of new stories to tell. A lot can happen in six weeks, after all

[Beekeeper]

Have fantastic dreams while you travel, Poeme. I anticipate some entertainment and edification upon your return!

[poème]

Thank you Beekeeper, it really pleased me to read your kind words!

[poème]

In my tarot readings, I often noticed that for a given period of time, some cards keep showing up a lot more than the others and also tend to be brought as the topics. (In a reading session, I usually invite my guides and higher self to bring topics they want to discuss, and I draw 2 or 3 cards, each one standing for a different topic). One of the cards often featured in my readings at the time (and lately as well) was the Death card…

Alchemy – V – Fermentation
http://forums.riverofenlightenment.c...ic,4274.0.html
In Alchemy, the Death card corresponds to the 5th step toward self-realization:
‘’Fermentation is also known as Putrefaction or decomposition. This decomposition is the rotting of the dead self. There is realization on a deep level of ones deficiencies and a possibility of mental depression at this stage. To look into the dark shadows of ones self is to look at what most deny. Jung spoke of the importance of embracing one’s shadow so that the darkness of it could be illuminated. When the shadow is embraced it can be healed with the introspection and understanding of what gave it birth. Regeneration and growth begins to take place during this stage.’’
http://www.hollingsworthcounseling.com/stages.htm

Seeds and patterns
As I understand it, at first, this card was announcing the death-to-come of my old self so that a new self may eventually arise. In the dream state, this death was portrayed in a dream I had earlier in which I was consumed by a light and fire within. (See The light within from The alchemical path - Part IV – Death). Picturing death, but also carrying a promise of renewal, like spring after winter, this card and this dream then marked the beginning of a new process: the slow decay of the old self, or in other words, the decay of old beliefs and imprinted habitual tendencies or imprinted behavioural patterns (vasana) that I needed to part from now that they were dead (no longer appropriate or needed). To do so, the shadow needed to be embraced (introspection); it needed to be brought to light (understanding).

More karmic elements
Elements to work on were (and still are, as I believe this process is still going on) brought to my attention in a gradual fashion through the dream state (I believe some were brought in the physical as well), and would at first typically concern wounds and flaws of my current personality, but soon enough, possible karmic elements of a sensitive nature also started to pour in. I chose to share the following dream, in spite of its dark tone, because it was the first to strongly challenge parts of my belief system that were (and perhaps still are) called to change. I was to start embracing the shadow then, and I believe this necessary shake-up was a first step forward on a path that would later on lead me to start healing my shadow. That said, it is interesting to note that this possibility (and duty) to heal my shadow seems to be pictured in the third part of the dream involving cleaning. Cleaning is a recurrent and ongoing theme in some of my recent karmic dreams and I can think of at least two instances (I will tell later) where it appeared to be the happy conclusion, the solution, as if cleaning was linked to purification and healing.

July 4th, 2011 (1^st dream)
The wounded woman
I am sitting in the backseat of a car with a man. I can’t seem to recall who was driving, but the impression I had was that the man had given instructions to the driver. I feel him as someone I know and trust and appreciate, someone with a strong and straightforward personality.

I Browsing video games
He asks me to look for two DVDs on his behalf, and he gives me $10 to buy both of them. Five dollars seems like a rather cheap price for a DVD to me, but nevertheless, I start browsing, in the car, screens and screens of titles I am apparently scrolling up and down with my thoughts. I recognize one of the titles he wanted me to find, oddly called, in English, `Psychic date` and realize it is actually some kind of video game, a seemingly violent one at that. I am surprised by this as I didn’t know he was into that kind of video game… Not that I am thinking less of him then ; my thought is simply tainted by surprise.

II The wounded woman
Then I take a peek at the content of this game and I see a young woman left for dead in a dark empty room, lying on the ground naked. She has no arms, like a greek statue, and one of her foot is missing too. There is a cartoon feel to the scene, meant to make it appear less realistic and not too detailed so that the visuals do not appear too disturbing. I feel a link with her, and I say to someone, possibly the man with me in the car, that she is still alive and that she is suffering. My words are tainted with compassion and yet, I am strangely not overwhelmed by her feelings nor mines.

III The cleaning chore
We finally arrive where we were going. Although it doesn’t ressemble much my father’s farm, it seems like this is where we are, and the man sends me on a cleaning task in my father’s large garage where are kept tractors and farm machinery. I look around and among trucks and other large and strange vehicles I’ve never seen before, I see, to my surprise, my old bicycle, and as I look at it with a smile and some nostalgia, I think that I no longer need it, and so I gently put it aside on the floor. I then pick up a wet cloth in order to start the cleaning job, but as I look around, I wonder what I’m supposed to clean… Is is the floor? The trucks and tractors? The other vehicles? Everything looks clean enough to me. It seems like I don’t really feel like doing this chore, and more than once, I go back to the man (or my `dad` at this point; it is not clear) to ask him if I really have to do this () ...But according to him, I do have to, indeed.

Challenged beliefs
I woke up, and even though the softened visuals showed no blood or very graphic or explicit visuals, I was quite disturbed by the implicit violence and suffering the young woman had to endure. I wondered who she was… Of course, it was possible that she was a dream character symbolising some inner wounds or losses, but I also recalled something strange the man and I discussed briefly at some point in the car(no longer sure when exactly) that made me think this dream had a karmic touch. I was told something like I had to be on the receiving end… Was it for good or ill? Was I supposed to be `on the receiving end` back then, in this life or in a future one? I couldn’t recall for sure. But this had me wondering if I had actually endured something like this myself in some other life, and if my soul, my higher self, had really approved of this. And that thought disturbed me, for it challenged my beliefs that I am protected no matter what, and that everything happens for a good reason and has a learning purpose. I couldn’t see the good nor the purpose in this situation. If such violence really had a teaching purpose, I then thought, it was a rather cruel lesson!

Even more disturbing to me was the thought that maybe I had been the one at fault causing her suffering, or that I had been at fault in some earlier life. Indeed, I was more comfortable seeing myself as the victim than as the tormentor. But, it seemed very unlikely to me that in all my lifetimes, I had always been as white as snow. Surely, I had experienced both sides, and maybe that is how I came to learn that violence has consequences and is not a proper response. I still felt guilts however, while thinking of what I may have done, and I wondered if it was really necessary to explore suffering and cruelty to come to such an understanding. Couldn’t there be other ways to learn this lesson? Was our teaching system that dark and cruel?

On these dark thoughts, I fell asleep again and I was to have, this time, a more lighthearted dream, quite possibly of a karmic nature as well, as if my higher self wanted to remind me that not everything I experienced was all that dark, and to give me elements of answer to help me understand better the purpose of this dream as well as that of the physical world.

July 4th, 2011 (2^nd dream)
Eleventh floor
I am a lady’s maid accompanying a young woman wearing a chic vintage dress. I am also wearing a good quality dress, although a more sober looking one. I may be a servant, I think in the dream, but I know I am well considered and that to her, I am like a friend. I am more calm and reserved than she, who is quite outgoing, cheerful and also rather daring.

So all this time,as I was receiving these impressions, we were standing together… in a not-so-vintage elevator() and now, we are quickly going up and up and up. At some point, the other woman suddenly stops the elevator, to have a peek at where we are. The doors open abruptly on the 10th floor. We see a large room, maybe a restaurant or a dining room decorated in a rich fashion. Large windows with vintage red velvet curtains open on a clear blue sky. An older lady comes in for a second, but for some reason, since we went up there so fast, the elevator is still shaking a little and we both find it funny… but that lady doesn’t, and she immediately goes out, apparently thinking that we are some crazy women!

We smile as she leaves and the doors close. We go up again. Then the elevator stops. This is as far as we go. I get some brief impressions linked to the number 11, the clock time 1:11 and/or 11:11 and that we have reached the eleventh floor. The other lady shows me another button and asks me if I want to try it. I say I do, and so the elevator now starts moving in a horizontal fashion, as if we were in a vehicule on the ground. (Oddly enough, I even recall seeing roads.) I suddenly remind her of an important dinner we have to attend. She tells me that we are on our way there, indeed, and that I need not to worry about it.

Karmic elements and quick growth
I woke up. For some reason, this intriguing dream had changed my mood and I now felt uplifted and refreshed. At the time, I thought that this dream, although quite anachronistic, had karmic elements and that once I had been a happy and fairly treated lady’s maid. I believe it is indeed possible that such genuine happy memories served as a frame to convey multiple layers of meaning at once. One of these could be that I had happy lives too.

Another one could refer to the relationship between my higher self - the soul (the other lady) and my current personality (the lady’s maid) regarding growth (the elevator). It makes sense to me that my current personality may be seen as `serving` my higher self, acting here in the physical on `her` behalf, so that `we` can learn from what `I` experience here. If this is correct, this would be the one and only time I pictured my higher self this way, as if it was used only this time precisely because this memory served best the multiple layers of meaning to convey.

As for the elevator, it could be a symbol of rapid growth. The fact that it was still shaking because we went up there so fast could refer to how I was still shaken up by the previous dream (and/or by previous difficult lives), but that this shake-up had the potential to make me move forward and grow faster. As for the eleventh floor, it is possible that it was linked to a specific plane and a subplane, but at the moment, I rather see it as symbolising a potential growth level to reach. In the I-Ching, eleven stands for peace, tranquility, harmony, and is symbolic of `rising above problems`.
http://www.psychic-revelation.com/re...exagram11.html
http://www.paranormality.com/iching_11.shtml

One
Back then, I wasn’t sure if this dream had karmic elements and I knew not if this eleventh floor corresponded or not to a plane and subplane, but I knew what 1:11 and 11:11 meant to me… And this was very likely a third layer of meaning conveyed by this dream. Later on, I was to find out that it was a key to help me balance my perception and understanding of the physical world and its learning purpose. (See Ancient memories - Part III – Healing the shadow, coming soon…)

One, and by extension eleven, was to me (and still is) a symbol of unity, of union, especially the clock time 1:11 and 11:11. This mainly comes from a brief but beautiful experience I had once, as I was in bed, in some kind of spontaneous in-between state. I sensed beautiful feelings of love and `shared unity` which I felt were a sign of a loving presence with me, and to that presence I said outloud, in a semi-conscious state, something like ``I am still shy…`` and the rest of the sentence only resounded in my mind : ``…in my relationship to God (the Source, All that is, etc.)``. And for a moment, I `felt` a loving soothing light I briefly `saw` in my `head`(my mind’s eye?). When I looked at the clock then, it was 1:11.

Since then, every time I see 1:11 or 11:11 on the clock, I tend to think of this moment again, and sometimes I pause for a minute, and close my eyes, to briefly meditate on what it may really mean and feel like to be truly one with others, or even one with All…

(More to come )

[CFTraveler]

Thanks for the nigredo information poème. I just realized I'm working on this and because of external things, I hadn't noticed.

[poème]

You are most welcome CF!
And it really pleased me to read your reply since this is precisely one of the reasons why I write these things