Thematic Dream Journal

[poème]

amcl14.jpg

http://forums.astraldynamics.com/vie...art=90#p146750
This image posted on this other AD thread really haunted me since I saw it… It reminded me so much of my dream «The small chapiteau» (see Part II)… Of course, it was not exactly like it, for we were not holding each others like in the picture and his skin tone was not red, but in my dream, just like in the picture, both the man and I were together in water, very closed to each others, with no clothes on. In my dream, the man was also sitting on my right, just like in the picture. And there was this same feeling of intimacy, of being in our very own private space (rendered by the little circus tent in my dream.) Somehow I felt something very alike when I looked at the couple from the picture.

I wondered what it meant and if it could help me figure out my latest series of strange dreams. So I went on the Web site the picture was from: http://www.alchemywebsite.com/index.html Once there however, I felt like a foreigner in some strange country whose language was also barely known to me, and as a result kind of got lost, not too sure what to look for and where… I have to admit that I rested my case a little too quickly, for surely, I would have found something if I had stayed a little longer. It’s a good Website… But now was not the time, I suppose…
At least, I knew it was alchemy… Although I only had a vague idea of what alchemy really was.

Different languages…One shared ground
It is only when I finally realized that this series of dreams was tied to an inner marriage that my search finally gave results… I simply googled «inner marriage» and first found this article (http://ryuc.info/creative-spirit/marriage_inner_m_f.htm) which also describes this union talked about in alchemy but in a language that was easier for me to understand at the time, since it was not one of symbols and metaphors kind of obscure to me.

And later, I was to find this other Web site which summarizes well the alchemical path of transformation of the Self (and is still easier to understand than ancient traditional texts): http://www.soul-guidance.com/houseof...o.htm#Contents

I was also reminded of a series of articles I had read before on River of enlightenment forums, describing 7 stages of a transformation process: I Calcination, II Dissolution, III Separation, IV Conjunction, V Fermentation, VI Distillation and VII Coagulation. It was also alchemy, and it was referring to the same path of transformation, although again, it was a slightly different language, with some different terms: http://forums.riverofenlightenment.c...;topicseen#new

Dream interpretation – The alchemical perspective
This passage will be a short and humble attempt at interpreting the series from the alchemical perspective. Since alchemy is fairly new to me, I am aware that some of my interpretations may be off. If so, and if you know better, don’t hesitate to tell!

If I understand well, the first stages of the path are focused on unveiling and healing the feminine by exploring the realms within of the unconscious and the heart – emotions). First, a part of the negative ego is stripped from the soul, therefore unveils the feminine, but also makes it vulnerable for negative ego (unnecessary barriers between the world and the soul), maladapted defence mechanisms) no longer stand for her protection, and so for a time, she may feel «naked», vulnerable and defenceless. This is exactly how I felt in the nightmare I had on April 10 (Part I). I was sitting in the corner of a room, with no clothes on, feeling exposed, so vulnerable, and I feared so much that someone would come to harm me. I believe this dream was possibly a reminded of a darker period I went through earlier in my life. I worked so hard on these issues over the years; I believe it’s under control now, maybe not under perfect control, but still I see a big improvement…

As negative emotions are exposed in the process, one then has to free the feminine from their constraints so that she may expresses her positive side freely, unfettered. This is an inward journey, and going into caves, just like I did on April 15 (see Waiting again…Part II) may be a way to picture this process in dreams:
«Mining or going inside the earth is the first step in the alchemical process. The earth is the body or oneself. Going inside the earth is equal to going into your inner self.»
(http://www.soul-guidance.com/houseofthesun/alchemy 1.htm)
On its inward journey, the alchemist shall meet a dragon (inner dragon: negative emotions) that shall be defeated. I did not however meet a dragon in the cave I explored. If I recall well, it was kind of well kept for a cave…Perhaps this stage was mostly done earlier as well, though I possibly needed to go back to clear away a couple things again so that I could meet with this person I was waiting for in there. I suppose this task is never entirely done…

The next phase is less clear to me, but it is said to be one of separation and isolation before a «coming back together». That being said, I do recall a past series of dreams featuring a strange feeling of being «abandoned» or being «mourning». I even wrote in my journal that even in the waking state, I felt like I had a hole in the heart, but couldn’t figure out where that was coming from. Back then, I thought that one of my guides left and that possibly I felt it to some degree. Then, I had this beautiful dream:

August 2010
The white one
It’s winter and it’s snowing lightly. I am keeping a beautiful white animal on a leash. I think it is a deer at first, a wild animal that should be let loosed, but I just don’t want to let it go yet… Then it turns into a beautiful dog, with a perfectly white coat. I seem to share a very close bound with this dog and love it very dearly. I know I have to let it go however, and so, after some hesitation, I do so and it leaves.
In the next scene, I talk with my «mother» about someone who’s now far away, but I am happy, for I am holding a cell phone I was given recently. It is white as snow; and I say to my «mother» that with it, I can always reach this person, even though he/she is far away now…

I can’t be sure if it’s linked to this process or not but somehow I really feel that this white animal I had to let go was this «true companion» I was told about later on by the clairvoyant (see Part II) and is possibly also linked to this energy I feel on my right in the waking state as well as to this person I was waiting for in the cave…As if I was waiting for him to come back… These are wild speculations, I confess

From an alchemical perspective, the joining together (or coming back together) of opposite Self aspects is called «Conjunctio». It « primarily takes place in water, in a spring or a fountain. The queen then represents the feminine, water, the unconscious.» (http://www.soul-guidance.com/houseofthesun/alchemy 1.htm)
I believe this is the stage pictured in the image I first talked about at the beginning of this (very long) post, and this is also where I seem to be in my journey… The marriage dreams (Part III) may also be referring to this stage, as a symbol of union, the inner marriage occurring at the end of the inner journey, which unites all opposite Selves into a whole, therefore «becoming as one.» However, it was a proposal, which to me means that it is (or was?) going to occur later on…

Kundalini
Since this series is about being honest with myself and looking at what really may be happening, despite of any fear I used to have and may still have, I took some time to think about this aspect also: was all this linked to Kundalini?

April 28, 2011
More snakes…
My «father» catches a big dark snake on the ground and holds it in his hands to show it to me. I don’t like this very much but my reaction is not out of proportion this time. I even take it myself, carefully holding his head since it is kind of aggressive and is really trying to bite. My «father», however, is assisting me, so I am not too afraid. I then put it back on the ground. It tries to bite my feet but misses, and finally it leaves. Shortly after, my father comes back with an open box, just like in the cobra dream (see Part I). He inclines it slightly over the floor and a very big green snake starts coming out of it. It is so long and thick that I am amazed that all this actually fitted in that box! My «father» then gives it to me so that I can hold this one as well. Oddly enough, I feel more comfortable with this one and I can feel that it is neither aggressive nor dangerous…

I can’t help but to think I was shown two different types of Kundalini snakes: one that was aggressive (and felt dangerous to me) and one that wasn’t. And it seems like someone (a «fatherly» energy) is actually assisting me in the process and preparing the ground. What’s really interesting also is that my opinion and my feelings about this do seem to count. I would even say that I seem to be told beforehand what is going to happen and that my permission to proceed is needed (marriage proposal)… Moreover, it seems like many persons who went through a Kundalini awakening also gave their permission in some form or another, and awakened because it was what they needed and wanted deep inside, therefore none of them were «victims» of some «evil force», even though the process can be a rough ride... This leads me to think that possibly, different approaches exist and are tested: a quick and powerful method may suit some better than a gradual and more gentle approach for instance...

Now, how is this marriage proposal linked to Kundalini? I’m getting there…

Awakening
So meanwhile, I had started reading parts of the online book «The Biology of Kundalini» that other members of the forum talked about and which can be found here: http://biologyofkundalini.com/ On the «Definitions» section, I found this interesting passage:
«Throughout this book the term kundalini awakening is used interchangeably with metamorphosis, spiritual alchemy, spiritual acceleration, the inner marriage, the sacred marriage, The Passion and even The Great Bliss.»
In other words, according to the author, the inner marriage is tied to a kundalini awakening. I do insist on awakening here, for there seems to be a difference between a kundalini awakening and a kundalini full raising.

This also reminds me of the very first time I thought of using the tarot to communicate with my guides. I first asked to whoever was present to tell me which card portrayed him/her the most, and I drew one card. Out of pure curiosity, I then asked about myself (couldn’t resist! J): which card portrayed me the most, my potential? And I drew one card that didn’t seem very flattering at first glance: 4 of Swords. (http://www.learntarot.com/s4.htm)
I asked my guide what he/she meant by that, and drew one other card: 2 of Swords.
(http://www.learntarot.com/s2.htm)
It actually took me some time (and a few other readings featuring this same card) to understand what it possibly meant... I had asked about my potential, and I had been simply told that it was latent at the time, but that it was preparing to eventually awaken… I was however putting barriers, as a mean to protect myself since I was not yet ready to awaken, and not yet ready to see the truth about myself (2 of swords) therefore I wasn’t told more. (Besides, a potential is all about possibilities and is not chiselled in stone… Perhaps it was simply not possible to tell me more back then…)

I can no longer close my eyes, however: I really seem to be going this way, slowly, carefully, one step at a time… Just like many others did before and just like many others will do in the future also, for we are all called to bloom one day, may it be in this life or in another, whatever is the path chosen, however long it may take… And I can’t help but to think again of this office building I visited on April 6 (See An eventful night), an entire building whose purpose, as I was told, was precisely this: «marriage». There was such a high energy in this office, and there was so many people working there; everyone seemed to have so much work, and yet it didn’t feel like it was a burden, more like a very positive time, although a very busy one… This makes me think that surely then, I am one case out of so many more… Like a wave of awakenings…
…Maybe are you also called to awaken soon

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

I liked your interpretation of the snake dream. When you quoted that author, however, he used many terms as synonymous. So you can use the snake as a symbol for awakening in general, because in your attempt to make sense of your dreams you were led to a passage that links them through a series of synonymous terms.

It's as if the properties of the awakening are laid out to you. Like the intimacy in the bath. That there's no need to be afraid for what's in store (the box) for you. That you have some say in it for yourself.

Yes, I do think you're getting there, too.

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

Thank you for you encouraging word, and for your insights as well... It's always appreciated!
Seeing the snake as a symbol for an awakening in general makes a lot of sense... And I can't wait to see «what's in store»

[poème]

I had a very happy childhood and was a very balanced, self-confident, fanciful and creative little girl. At the threshold of teenage hood however, things completely turned upside down. I became overly sensitive, and would constantly feel hurt by others and by circumstances. As a result, I ended up shutting myself inward and became but a shadow of who I really was, and the joyful and self-confident little girl became a very shy teen with a low self-esteem.

I started coming out of my shell in my late teen years, thanks to a good friend I met back then through whose eyes I could see that I could become more than I thought I was. I still carried these issues with me into adulthood however, although they certainly were less of a burden than they were back in my teen years. I was aware I had sensitivity issues, and often I would think that it was some kind of curse. «If only I weren’t that sensitive» I would often think, «I wouldn’t feel so hurt by the slightest thing, and I wouldn’t fear so much to show who I really am and to do as I please…Surely, life would be much easier!»

Then one night, in my early twenties, I had this dream I would never forget:

I Death
I am shot right in the heart by someone who had been pursuing me in the first part of the dream. I feel something around the heart and maybe also in other parts of my body, like electrical impulses or waves, and I know I am dying. «So, this is how it feels to die» I tell myself, and I am surprised at how pleasant it feels as my soul leaves the body through the head.

I keep rising upward and then find myself in the Beyond, as a soul perhaps, freed from matter, like a «ball» of energy. And this is where I meet with another consciousness, who like me, is pure energy, and whom I seem to know and recognize as someone who cares for me, dominantly male. We don’t exchange words for we have no bodies but we do communicate in some telepathic way. All my thoughts and memories, and all that I am, are accessible to him. I can’t hide anything, not even what I would rather keep for myself: all my faults, my weaknesses and my darkest thoughts… I feel ashamed of how I may appear to him for his consciousness is so beautiful to me: I feel I can’t compare… But I soon realize that to him, it doesn’t matter, and I feel completely understood and loved, despite of this «dark garden» of mine, as if he could see beyond those faults, those weaknesses, and understand all that I am as a whole, as if he could also see all that I can become… And this feels so good, so soothing, like a balm on my wounds…

II Voyage in the Beyond
He then guides me in the Beyond. I follow him as we travel in what resembles the outer space. It is dark and silent. Beautiful purple and perhaps reddish hues appear here and there. As I keep following him, I see some floating lands from afar and from time to time, I also see other consciousnesses travelling around or at a distance, like little balls of light quickly crossing the dark space. It is truly beautiful, quiet, very peaceful…

We then arrive at what seems to be our destination. We «land» on one of these floating islands and if I recall well, we both take a human appearance, although now I can’t seem to remember what he looked like then. The island is rather deserted and its sky is like the outer space: dark with purple hues. I don’t recall any form of vegetation either. We walk in silence and surprisingly, although I don’t know where we are heading, I don’t even think of questioning him, and I seem to be perfectly comfortable with him, and with his silence. Perhaps there was no need to speak anyway, since I was to find what this voyage was for soon enough…

III Rebirth
In that isolated area, we finally see a humble «home». What I see is very hard to put in words, but, all over the place, there are large patch worked canvases of…skins! (I know… It did feel bizarre, but not scary, surprisingly. And actually, I know where I got that from: In the waking state, not so long before I had this dream, I visited an art exhibition where I saw similar patch worked canvases made of different kinds of old leather.)

In a big cauldron, a lady is busy fabricating other skins such as these we can see all over the place (!) We greet her and the next thing I know, I lay on a table, like that of a doctor’s cabinet, for it seems that I am to be reborn and that I need a new skin since it’s now too late to return to my former physical body. She asks me if I’d prefer a thicker skin this time, one that would therefore «resist» better to outer threats («agressions extérieures» in French) than the thin and sensitive type of skin I had formerly. I think about the lady’s suggestion for a moment. My guide is still around, but he remains silent, and simply watches my reaction, as to not interfere with my decision. After giving this some thought, I decide that no, I don’t want that, for then I would be like a different person and I want to remain the same. I want to keep trying. And so, I ask her to make this new skin exactly like my former one, so that I may come back unchanged. Both the lady and my guide seem to approve my decision.

She fabricates the skin in her cauldron, and in some strange way (and a somewhat hurtful one) applies it on my energy body. Then I am back on earth, freshly reborn, and yet exactly like I was before…

Balance and self love
…Or perhaps not so exactly… For then I stopped seeing sensitivity as a curse. I started to see that this «weakness» could become over time a valuable strength once balanced, and that if it was indeed bothersome at this time in my life, it wouldn’t always be the case. I could work on it, mould it like clay. I could nurture this rising strength until it becomes mature. Meanwhile, I knew I had to learn how to balance it and apply it properly, and I slowly became aware that mistakes in that sense were a normal part of the learning process, that I needed to forgive myself if I were to «fail» or fall into traps on my way, and that I needed to accept myself as such: imperfect but learning, and growing; imperfect but still beautiful, and loveable… This is how I saw myself through this other consciousness I met in my dream. And over the years, I slowly came to understand that this is how I should always try to see myself: through understanding and love. I believe that understanding comes as we analyse our issues and find their roots in the process. And self love flows hand in hand with acceptance… This is what I found so far…But there is more to it for sure…Love is a mysterious force after all…Well, it is to me, mind you

[Sinera]

I think this was more than just a dream, but rather could be a real memory of past life and life between lives, just clad in a lot of dream symbolism and scenery.
Not sure if the shot in the heart should only be taken too literally. Maybe there's another interpretation possible: Possibly, you weren't murderd but rather disappointed by love in your last live (that is why the heart was hurt). Maybe this indeed led as a consequence to your earlier death due to the caused grief and disillusionment then. Your feeling of abandonment and hurt-feelings in your youth of this life also might point to this possibility. Well, on the other hand, the scene itself looks like a murder scene. So it could of course have been 'the real thing' too. Whichever way, highly amazing 'dream' you had there.

[poème]

I had this dream years ago, and I always felt it was special, but I knew not how it was so back then. I simply knew not enough. I think this dream actually shaped some of my beliefs about the «unknown» afterwards.

Lately, I've been thinking that perhaps it was a guided outing in the astral (or was it elsewhere...?) through the dream state. If not, I thought it was a dream inspired by past memories such as how it feels to die, and how it feels to be out of body and to meet with another non-physical being. (As far as I can remember, I really knew not much about that back then, at least not counsciously.)

And I thought the purpose to this «dream» was to make me understand, besides what I mentionned already, that it was my very own choice : I wanted to be this way, and I wanted to «keep trying» to deal with this personality's issues...

But I never considered that it could have been linked to a past life. I thought the death scene only happened because it was needed in the storyline. (I had to die to travel in the Beyond) So these are very interesting ideas, Volgerle! What you say adds a lot of meaning to this, although I can't be sure of anything... What's interesting however is that very recently (one week ago or so) I had strange dreams that really looked like past lives again, so I find it really intriguing that you thought of bringing this here, now...

I lived some childhood scenes of one of them; I was an orphan. Then in another dream scene, I was «my usual dream self» again, and I remember looking at a series of graphic novels telling the story of a young man during a war (possibly the orphan I first dreamed of) who probably died young since on all the graphic novels covers, he never appeared old... Then in another scene, with the help of a teacher I think, I started writing an essay on someone's story, possibly that one, which started like this «It's a really sad story...»

That same night, I also dreamed of two other characters that looked like possible past lives... One was a model travelling in some exotic country, and one was a single mother with two kids living in poverty... All this makes me wonder if I am working on my karma or purging something from these past live... What's bothersome is that I can't tell for sure these were past live, and if so, if these were mine or someone else's... Then again, maybe it doesn't really matter, since surely I was shown this for a reason, and this is what I should rather focus on I guess... Still, all this makes me want to go on a regression therapy!

Well, I guess I should thank you for making me think of all this

[poème]

On May 14, I was told in a dream something (something I totally forgot…again! ) about a sun god named Helios. Thanks to Wikipedia, once I woke up, I found out more about who that was, for if I quite possibly heard the name before, I am not very knowledgeable when it comes to Greek mythology. Interestingly, in this article, I found out that this divinity corresponded with Sol in the Roman mythology. I found this detail relevant to mention because in Alchemy, the red man (the intellect, the masculine) is sometimes called Sol and is also closely linked to the sun… Moreover, Helios has a sister called Selene: the Moon. Helios and Selene. Sol and Luna. The red man, the red king and the white lady, the white queen… To me, this was clearly referring to Alchemy, and interestingly, I was then about to go through a series of dreams seemingly linked again to the alchemical process, and more precisely, to the conjunction stage:
http://forums.riverofenlightenment.c...ic,4273.0.html

Love
Some time before May 15, I started having recurrent dream themes such as ‘being a couple’ or ‘being flirted with and offered gifts’ (mostly tasty desserts for some reason… Seems like my dream self and I both have a sweet tooth ) and also ‘sharing some degree of intimacy’ with different dream characters.

As I still have these recurring themes in my dreams, my guess would be that the conjunction process may be a very gradual one. Luna & Sol first get in touch, then get closer over time, until they ‘become as one’. It’s also possible that it may be the joining together of several couples of male and female self aspects, hence the different dream characters pictured and why later on I had more dreams featuring earlier stages in a relationship, as if it had started over… Of course, these are speculations based on personal observations alone!

On May 15, I had a series of 4 dream sequences seemingly linked to the themes mentioned, and out of these, I will tell the 3^rd one, since I find it kind of intriguing, and the 4^th one, since I feel it marked the beginning of an important step forward for me.

May 15, 2011 (3^rd dream)
A new home…
In the first scene, I don’t think I am in a dream body as I rather seem to be a disembodied consciousness. I feel a presence with me, another disembodied consciousness, whom is known to me and whom I feel as dominantly male. Together, we look at ‘our new home’. Our point of view seems to be external, curiously, even though we can see the whole interior of the home and all its stories (it is possibly 7 stories high), as if we were looking at a doll house, split in half. There is no furniture yet, nonetheless it is really beautiful, with large windows on the upper floors, and since it is a kind of modern concept with interior balconies opening on the floors beneath, all the upper floors are bathed in sunlight. There are ancient looking wooden double doors on all the lower floors, and I recall a more modern-looking elegant patio door on one of the upper floors. (I can no longer tell for sure if there was more however….)The other consciousness and I seem to be imagining this home, ‘building it’ together. He says something very intriguing at some point: that it may not be such a good idea to have doors on all these floors (!) So I think about removing one for a second, and once my mind is made up, it instantly disappears, just like that!

That being done, we enter in a new dream scene in which we are embodied this time, although I don’t remember what he looked like very clearly. (This is not so uncommon in my dreams. I often do sense who the person is but don’t always see this person’s features very clearly. Perhaps it means that I could develop this inner sense better.) We walk together in an open air marketplace on a beautiful sunny day. It feels like we are a couple. We look at plants and colourful potted flowers for our home, which is still unfurnished. He brings my attention on several plants that are just like one I have at home, although these are two to three times bigger than mine. I don’t think we bought anything, but we had a nice time, and I woke up some time later. It was around 2 am.

In Alchemy, once the feminine (emotions) has been purified in the Lesser Work, the masculine, the mind, must be spiritualized (in the Greater Work perhaps?). Once that is done also, it is said that "(…) the enlightened mind will then incorporate or embody the spirit and together with the enlightened emotions, build a Spiritual Body, a proper Temple for the Soul."
http://www.denverspiritualcommunity....m#anchor164025

In my dream, it seems like the feminine (whose role I was playing in this dream) and the masculine (the male consciousness) decided to skip some steps, since I don’t think I have gone through the Greater Work yet (!) Nonetheless, I find it very striking how it really seems that this is what they were doing: building a new ‘home’ together. I didn’t count how many stories there were in the dream, but I really feel it was quite possibly 7 stories high, which could symbolize the development of the 7 main chakras of the energy body. So this new ‘home’ is very likely to be a new spiritual body… The older looking lower floors would then symbolize an earlier development in comparison with the more modern-looking upper floors. It is also very interesting to note that the upper floors (brow and crown?) communicate and are not separated. However, this new home is still unfurnished and unoccupied, but its basic structure seems to be done, ready for… I’m not exactly sure what yet so I’d rather not say, but I suppose I’ll see later

Some time after I woke up from this dream and wrote down all that I could remember, I fell asleep once more. I was to meet with someone again…

[poème]

May 15, 2011 (4th dream)
Sorrow
I am visiting a man in a foreign country, his country. He takes me for a walk in different parts of the city he lives in. It seems to be a large one, with a lot of people walking and hanging around. To make it short, we have a nice time together, and at some point, he offers me a wish card…for Valentine’s Day. (I know…) Even in the dream, the thought that it is kind of late for that - or very early – does cross my mind, but I’m pleased anyway and thank him.

In the evening, we go in a room where we finally have some privacy and we simply discuss on the bed for a time, then he leaves and I spend a good part of the night alone. I decide to make a wish card for him also, and so, I start writing in bold letters something like "Happy Birthday" in French, which is slightly less romantic than a Valentine’s Day card, indeed: P Once finished, I realize there is a very visible mistake on my card and I can’t seem to be able to correct it, so I give up on it and decide to simply write him a few words on another paper instead, something from the heart… But I find it very difficult… Even writing down simple words such as "je t’aime" doesn’t seem right to me for I fear that it may not be quite what I feel and I want to be sincere…

After some time, I also give up on this idea, and have nothing to offer him in the end. I feel so sad about this for I really wish I could return his love, but I can’t… And now I have to leave, to return to my own country. My luggage is all ready, but as I am about to leave, I really feel I have to see him before I go, and so I find him. I am so sad. I tell him I have to leave. He doesn’t say anything: he knows. I simply give him a hug. He kisses me, and to my surprise, I don’t really seem to be able to enjoy it, and this only adds to my sadness…

When I woke up, I still felt so sad… I really felt like I had failed at something, and I thought I had failed because I was not enough loving, and this felt like a terrible thing to me since I have always held this in high esteem… I wanted to be a loving person, but now I felt like my heart was dry, and for me, that was very hard to bear. It seemed to me that something was missing for Luna & Sol to become one; an important ingredient was missing for the once separated elements to recombine, and that ingredient was love…

In synchronicity, someone dear to me, to whom I had not mentioned a thing about this last dream back then, and to whom I haven’t talked either at the time, told me a few days later that he had this dream about me…

May 16, 17 or 18, 2011
Solace
He walks in a school building and paces up and down the corridors. He is searching for someone, and so, through small windows, he takes a look in every classroom he sees until he finally finds the person he is looking for. He then boldly enters the classroom, even though he doesn’t belong there at all! There are many empty tables, and only a few students, some of which are sitting at a table while others are working on the board. If there is a teacher around, he doesn’t notice him or her… Perhaps no teacher is there at the moment. At the back of the classroom, he notices someone sitting quietly at a table, absorbed in her books, looking morose. "There she is!" he says, and he goes toward that person…who is me. He thinks I may have failed an exam or something, which, to him, explains why I look so disappointed, and why I am so absorbed in my books, as if I wanted to catch up on something. He sits next to me and then starts talking to me in a cheerful manner to lift up my mood.… Then he wakes up.

It seems like I’m very lucky to have such considerate persons around me, who, even in the dream state, come to comfort me! Even though it’s possible that there was a time lag of a day or so, I find it very intriguing that he obviously picked up on two important elements of the state of mind I was in at the time (May 16-17): the feeling of failure and the morose mood…

More importantly he picked up on a third element that had been my main preoccupation back then: I was trying to understand what were my issues with love, and what were their roots; and I was trying to find how I could heal these wounds and how I could let down my barriers so that I could become more loving… The classroom setting then makes a lot of sense. We could really say that I was ‘studying’ something (examining and trying to understand my issues), and that I was really absorbed by my ‘studies’ (it was my main preoccupation) so that I could ‘catch up’ (becoming more loving) on what I thought I had ‘failed’ (the conjunction of inner opposites.)

Hope
During those days, I was reminded of an important dream I had years ago (see A dream of death and rebirth) and I found comfort in it, for I was also reminded of how this other consciousness saw me back then, through such understanding and love, despite of all the faults I thought I had. I remembered that I needed not to be perfect, and needed not to ‘prove my worth’. All that was asked of me was to keep learning and growing. And none of these faults I thought I had was a fixed point of my character I was ‘cursed with’ forever. With time, and efforts on my part, it was possible to balance all that was unbalanced in me. Besides, I realized that my heart wasn’t that dry, and that indeed I was capable of love… But I still needed to learn how to understand and love myself totally, without condition. I still needed to learn how to let go of my fear to hurt and be hurt and how to let down my barriers; I needed to find the courage to surrender to a stronger flow of love than I was used to… Towards myself, others, and eventually all that is.

I thought of focusing more on loving-kindness forms of meditations (see here: http://www.wildmind.org/metta) and listening to some selected songs which tend to make me feel ‘filled with love’. I also started trying to put in practice the ‘understanding-and-loving-attitude’ in my everyday life, and tried to see, through these eyes, my family and friends, my students, strangers I met on the bus, my cats, and so on… And I am still trying to put into practice in my physical life what I understood then… I suppose it’s going to take some time to truly integrate all this, but I’m ok with that; I can be patient…sometimes

Interestingly, on the night of May 17, I asked in a tarot spread something like: "What I may do about this, what ‘should’ be my attitude?"
And the reply I was given then felt like a very meaningful one to me:

Ace of cups, Six of pentacles, Temperance
http://www.learntarot.com/ca.htm
http://www.learntarot.com/p6.htm
http://www.learntarot.com/maj14.htm

To put it simply, I felt it meant something like…To love, to share, to find balance…

[Beekeeper]

This is indeed very interesting, Poeme. My first thought was that your man in a foreign country was an aspect of you, a masculine expression or what Jung would call your animus that you see as foreign. Loving him would be a metaphor for accepting this part of yourself and uniting masculine and feminine energies.

It is always extremely interesting when others' dreams confirm that they've caught up with you in the dream state. I've had others tell me of dreams of me that have also resonated either with something in waking life or a dream or, curiously, with another's dream of me.

[poème]

Hello Beekeeper,
It is a very clear way to word it. I haven't considered reading Jung's writings on the topic so far, but I guess I could benefit from it... Perhaps I should visit my local library some time soon

Out of curiosity, did you tell one or some of these dreams on the forum? If so, could you post the link or tell me where... I'd love to read more accounts of that kind... It really fascinates me that we really do communicate with others we are in touch with, and this, whitout having to see them or to speak to them...